Original subtitles

Welcome. Introduce yourselves.

Misk Sharif, obstetrician and gynecologist.

-Yaya Zahran, football player. -Excellent.

How many years have have you been married?

-About-- -Approximately--

-Please let me answer. -Why can't I?

-Because it's my problem. -Did I just join you for company?

-It's my problem too. -Go ahead, Yaya.

Three or three and a half years--

Three years, seven months, three weeks and three days.

-And two hours. -Okay.

Did you marry for love, or was it a traditional marriage?

-Because-- -It was--

I'll leave if you don't let me speak.

It's not like you're here by choice.

Misk, nobody can force me to do anything, and you know it.

Calm down. This doesn't need to be difficult.

Captain Yaya, Dr. Misk,

help me to help you.

I want to hear your story calmly, from the beginning.

Welcome to a legendary night of football,

where the best players dazzle us in an exciting atmosphere!

He passes, and… goal!

He made it through. What a great player.

He wants to pass. It's a dangerous move.

He closes the gap and strikes,

and what a shot!

The ref is checking the VAR.

Football brings joy across the world.

Congratulations. A beautiful boy.

He passed the ball to him so effortlessly.

Oh, wow.

It looks like he did it.

Yaya gets the ball, and he's off.

And he scores!

Somebody asked me what happened, and I have no idea.

Doctor, please. My face, Doctor--

Excuse me. I'm sorry.

My, oh, my.

And another promising start.

It really happened. I can't believe it!

He turned to her, looked into her eyes, and gave her his heart.

How great is that? Look at how he managed to score.

You are more beautiful than nature itself, Yaya.

How sweet, how sweet.

Life is going to get even sweeter, I hope.

I've got a feeling it's going to work out.

What is this, bro?

Look how modest he is. But loves himself at the same time.

What's lost? What's wasted?

The players are coming on to the pitch. The game's about to start.

Hanging on and not letting go.

-Enough, little boy. -Look at this.

So sweet.

No thanks, ref!

There's a fight breaking out.

A card for him.

Goodbye, my friend.

-You've exhausted me. -What a pity. Never mind.

Yaya.

I want a divorce.

Do you think divorce is the answer?

I want to be a mother.

Like any other woman.

We tried and failed. Why is it my fault?

-You won't accept having an operation. -I'm not having an operation, Misk!

Doctor, you do that kind of thing after 12 or 13 years of trying.

We've just started.

And why have kids now, when they'll just cause trouble?

-They'd stop us from traveling-- -Oh, and also I'll get fat.

You can't stand looking at me.

-Did I say that? -You don't need to.

He's my husband, and I know him.

One: He's selfish. Two: He only cares for himself--

They're the same thing.

It's true, Yaya. You're selfish and only care for yourself.

He only cares about likes on Instagram, what Shobair says about him,

-who writes about him online-- -Enough!

Please. This won't work. Let's keep our composure.

We agreed to speak calmly to find a solution,

but when you shout,

and your problems don't stay between you, it becomes hard to find a solution.

Between us? He tells his manager everything.

Is that true, Captain Yaya?

Samir is not just my manager. He's also married to my sister.

And he cannot keep secrets. He's a total gossip.

That's true, and he always embarrasses me.

But he's great at his work. The best. He cares for me like a son.

Can't you find a manager who also cares for your image?

Image costs a lot, and I don't know what you're talking about.

Tell me where I came up short.

I'm working hard to find a team that accepts him.

"Accepts"? Am I too old or what?

That's not what I meant.

You can easily play till the age of 80 or 90.

Sorry, Yaya. I'm sorry. I have problems at home.

Your sister, the kids… Your sister's a real headache.

Ragia? What did she do? Did you fight again?

She's a nightmare.

We had a fight yesterday because of… Why did we fight, Ragia?

You dumped the tea in the sink, and I had to unclog the drain.

But what are we on about?

Misk, my darling, please don't be angry with my brother.

Pity him instead.

And why the rush? Children will come sooner or later.

Exactly. If you want, just take one of ours.

Ragia has babies almost every day. Praise the Lord.

They say children bring wealth, but I spend it all on glasses.

No, Captain Yaya. This is not the way at all.

I say keep your problems private, and you bring your whole family?

Me? She's the one doing that.

She spills every little detail into her mother's ear.

What do you mean, "spills" and "her mother's ears"?

What kind of street talk is that? Shows your upbringing.

Isn't it enough you married our daughter?

Why are you here, Shahira? I told you to stay out of it.

What do you mean, Sharif? I should keep quiet while he insults me?

Mom, I want to talk to Dad because he's a psychologist.

And why can't I join in when the chief here brought his entire family?

We came to make peace, Um Misk.

And that's no way to speak about my nephew.

We apologize, Mr. Mohammad. Excuse us.

What do you mean, "apologize" and "excuse us"?

Why make them feel superior to us, Sharif?

All our family are doctors.

Doctors? Are you kidding?

Studying medicine and wearing a white coat makes you a doctor?

-What do you think? -I suppose it does.

Have you forgotten where you came from? When you proposed

and I told you to meet my dad at the car club, you thought he ran a shop.

-Whoever called it a club was wrong. -Don't change the subject!

You're right, Mom. He's not well brought up.

-Look, Yaya, just let me go! -Let you go, Misk?

Yes, Yaya.

Okay.

Officiator!

Let's go.

Finally.

I've been waiting all day.

Sign here, Captain Yaya.

-Why? -Don't you want a divorce?

-I do. -Then sign.

I want to divorce her.

Here you go.

But aren't you supposed to say something?

Like "God hates divorce" and "we must reconsider"?

Why the rush? Weren't you paid?

Because I waited four hours. I have other divorces to attend to.

Okay, sir, let's recite together and be done.

Doctor, tell him, "I release you."

-Tell him, "I release you." -Who?

You too, Doctor? Tell him, "I release you."

Yes. Okay.

I--

I--

I-- I love you, Yaya.

Come, sir. Come with me.

Come on, madam. Let's go.

What were we doing? Did you really want to leave me?

Of course not. I'd call you tomorrow, crying to come take me back.

Tomorrow? I'd be at your balcony two hours later.

-Like our engagement. Remember? -Yes, I remember.

Remember when you came to make up, and Benji bit you?

Don't remind me. I still can't sit properly.

-I really love you, Yaya. -I adore you, Misk.

If you want children, they'll surely come. Let's enjoy ourselves first.

You're a failure of a manager.

Go back to collecting money from under dancers' feet.

I worked with singers too, not just dancers.

Just last week, Hajj Khaled at Sahel Shamali begged me to work with him again.

Old Khaled, the street vender?

What vender? The Algerian Khaled, the one who sang "Didi."

You mean Young Khaled.

He used to be called "Young." He's just older now.

Look, Samir, you need to get me five or six teams to choose from.

Choose from? You think they're like pairs of socks?

I got an offer from Saudi Shabab, but you don't want it.

Not at that salary. And they really wanted me last season.

Last season, Yaya. You're a different player this season.

Shall I tell you your statistics for this season?

You played 16 matches this season and didn't score a goal.

You missed two penalties, got five cards, and got sent off twice--

once when you were rude to fans

and another when you spat at the assistant referee.

Why fight with an assistant? He doesn't even matter.

Because I'm on a losing team. Who can win with these guys?

Or do you think I'm too old and weak?

No way. I never said that. Look, you have a great history,

but we have to compromise to get a good deal.

How much did Saudi Shabab offer?

-This season or last? -Last season.

700,000 riyals, a villa by the club, the latest car with a driver.

-And this season? -Not much different.

700,000 riyals, a small apartment, and an Uber to work.

-Get out. -Uber could also take you--

-Out. -Okay. I'm leaving.

Think and decide quickly.

It's you or Saeed Al-Zoumblieh from Al Masry.

Saeed Al-Zoumblieh?

Out of my face!

Pass my boot, boy.

Any man wearing shorts, speak up.

Your captain is here, so full attention, please.

Is anyone missing?

Where's Yaya?

He didn't show, right?

No. Please don't get up.

O pride of the pyramids,

for you are the captain of Egypt and all the world.

Listen, boys, as usual,

we're not just playing football, we're painting a picture.

We've been painting it since the start of the season,

and what are we going to do with the picture in tonight's match?

We're going to frame it.

-What will we do? -Frame it.

I want more energy. We're going to be savage.

Or are you out to make me angry?

Okay, so finally.

Lineup and reserves.

We'll start with Hamama on goal with four defenders--

Is the mistake Hamama or the four defenders?

Hamama is unwell.

We'll start with Hussein, and Hamama can rest today.

I'm fine, Captain.

Hamama, arguing with your captain?

You look pale and might have diarrhea. Hamama.

Yes, Captain.

Good. Football is obedience.

Who are the four defenders?

Azab, Baraka, Karika and Kita…

who will not be playing.

Kita will sit with me in reserve.

I have a plan for the second half, and need you for that,

to go in and tip the scales.

Who will play instead of him…

Which of the captains?

Him, with the weird hair?

-Who? You-- What's your name? -Khashaba, Captain.

Khashaba. Of course. Our son here is a rising young star.

He will conquer the world.

And with the grace of God, playing midfield will be

Farkha, Mido and Saadawy,

and Majdi as a forward.

And finally, to conclude,

Egypt's number one striker, Captain--

Oh, no. That's too small. Way too small.

Captain…

Yaya.

Any questions?

We'll answer after the match. Let's pray.

We're in minute 88…

That's it. Come on.

Come on, Yaya! Come on, bro.

What the hell is this? Shame on you.

He's not going to score, nor live to see a good day,

because of what he's doing to my girl.

Really, Mom, I regret telling you anything.

We made up. What else do you want?

I know what I want. I want him to score a goal.

I want to know what you were thinking

when you allowed my daughter to marry someone like this.

What's going on here?

Goal!

Really? Yaya scored?

Your loser husband scored an own goal.

Greetings. Does anyone have questions, or can we go?

Captain Nebrawi, there were so many missed chances.

-Was it a lack of focus or fatigue? -Shame.

Shame on you.

I know what you're insinuating.

Do you mean to say that this loss was Captain Yaya's fault?

What an insult.

Captain Yaya is a great player.

Look at how much he's given us, to the club, and especially to me.

He's given me all I can ask for.

Yes, but Captain Yaya scored an own goal today.

And so what? Let him score an own goal.

Didn't the press say he's not scoring enough goals?

That's not true anymore, is it?

Or do you mean the other 15 to 20 goal opportunities he wasted?

No problem.

Excuse me, Captain. If I may speak.

We worked hard and played many games-- the League, Africa, and the Cup.

It has exhausted the players and cost us many chances.

I don't usually want to blame the ref, but he was against us today.

The referee scored that goal.

No. He upset the boys, and we had a penalty.

-You say we had a penalty? -Yes. Any questions?

Yes, Captain Yaya, please.

Go ahead.

Excuse me one moment.

Captain Yaya, they say you dominate the team in the locker room.

I dominate the team? Me?

Shame on you. Why are you saying that?

Him? He's a breath of fresh air in the locker room.

Any good questions?

Yes, Captain. I have another question.

Don't you think you're near retirement?

No, I don't think so.

But I promise to call and tell you when I am.

-A final question. -Doesn't anyone else have questions?

-Nobody else? -Last question, please, Captain.

Since your standards have become so wobbly lately,

shouldn't you give other players a chance to take your place?

Madam, shouldn't you step aside and give others a chance to ask questions?

You're pregnant, so stay home and don't come in looking like that.

Looking like that.

Shame on you, Captain Yaya. What you said was really bad.

You're pregnant, so stay home and don't come in looking like that.

-You need to apologize. -Who is Yaya, anyway?

-You're useless. Who do you think you are? -Loser.

-Yaya, Yaya. -Little child Yaya.

-Pathetic. -I hope you lose any luck you have left.

What a bum.

If women want me to respect pregnancy,

women should also respect men's big bellies.

Our smallest belly is double a pregnancy.

-Exactly. -Wait.

Didn't your mother carry you?

-You are so ungrateful. -As useless as a sub on the bench.

A pregnancy only lasts nine months…

-Great player. -…while our bellies are for life.

Be quiet, bro.

What's going on?

-Hey. Are you pregnant too? -Get away.

We saw you assault her.

-God forgive you. -May God bring you down.

-I wish I could see you pregnant. -You wouldn't last a day.

-With an angry wife to boot. -Get pregnant.

-Baffle the doctors. -Dear God!

Great. I have Captain Yaya on the phone.

Let's hope we hear something different from him,

something that will please our audience.

Good evening, Captain Yaya. Welcome.

Look, Captain, social media here exaggerates everything.

I'm a big supporter of women, and everyone knows that.

Tell him about the incident.

I'll describe an incident that happened.

Last Ramadan, before breaking fast, I was going to Salé Sucré--

-Pronounced Sucré. -Yes, that's it.

And a woman was coming into the shop at the same time as me.

-I opened the door and let her pass. -Yes.

-And? -That's it.

That's it? What's your point?

It's the first time I'm ashamed to be out with you.

You're being like them. Go on, be like them.

Oh, my. What's this?

-Is that you? -No photos now, please.

I didn't imagine ever seeing you.

You know, I made a vow that if I ever saw you,

I'd throw a bowl of sauce in your face.

What a stupid idea.

We weren't going to come out. I don't know why we did. We're leaving.

Come on. Let's go.

Are you defending him? Are you with him?

Me? No I don't know him at all.

Don't know me?

What's with all the pregnant women? Is this a shop or a maternity ward?

Oh, my God!

That is so unnecessary.

What the hell? Throwing bread at a pregnant woman?

Pregnant with what? A panda bear?

Right! That's it!

-Why are you just standing there? -Me?

Yes. Why aren't you throwing anything?

I've been chucking stuff the whole time. See?

-Chuck it properly! -Okay.

I hope you get a taste of our discomfort.

If you had just apologized, none of this would have happened.

But you prefer following Samir.

Samir again. You blame everything on Samir.

Of course. It's all his fault.

Ragia said he talks behind your back.

It was just once, when you missed that penalty.

-But she's right. -You're a real gossip.

Aside from all that, you should have apologized and ended it.

How could I have known everyone would turn against me like this?

-You deserve it. -What?

-The best shawarma for her. -Thank you.

I also ordered shawarma.

Sorry. That's the last one.

But I ordered it.

I haven't eaten all day. I'm starving.

-If only. -If only what?

If only I could make shawarma for you with my bare hands.

What about me? Wait.

I ordered a kofta. Where's my kofta?

I told him he's wrong and should apologize.

Why should I suffer for what you did?

Look, Yaya, there are two-- one for each of us.

-I'll take it. -You just shut up.

I've lost my appetite.

Listen, Misk, let's leave before they poison our food.

What? This is delicious. Besides, we eat here every day.

Nothing serious, God willing.

Come.

How could you do this?

Just pamper the lady and leave the captain unattended?

Come, Yaya. Do you idiots know who this is?

-My stomach. -Slowly, Yaya.

-It really hurts. -It'll be fine.

Get me that sandwich seller.

Why did you have the cream and jam after the liver pie?

Get well soon, my friend. If only it was me instead of you.

-We have a match on Sunday, Yaya. -Hello.

What are the results? Poison or a kidney stone?

-Poison. Say poison. I'm sure. -It's not poison.

They have indigestion.

I'll prescribe medicine and five days of rest.

Five days? But the the match is on Sunday.

Look, Doctor, you'll excuse me--

Give him something to fix him in two days.

What are you doing? He's not a valet.

I can't stay home for five days. I have surgery tomorrow.

-You won't be with us much longer. -She's going to die?

Hope it's you. Why, Doctor? What do I have?

You're pregnant.

Pregnant?

It's not the shawarma?

-Did you say "pregnant"? -Yes.

-Are you kidding? I'm really pregnant? -Honestly.

-You must be joking. Are you serious? -I swear.

-Really-- -What are you doing, Misk?

-Hugging the doctor? -Didn't you hear him? I'm pregnant.

-Be quiet, you. -Okay.

He says I'm pregnant. I can't believe it.

-Yaya. -Yes?

-You made him say that to cheer me up? -Me? No, I didn't.

-Yes, you did. -I swear I didn't.

-Did I tell you anything? -No.

-Thank God. It's incredible. -Relax.

-I'm so happy. -Calm down. Have a seat.

-Just sit. -Isn't this what you want?

-Yes. -Congratulations, darling.

Congratulations, Yaya.

We're screwed.

Hurry up with the Saudi contract.

Greetings.

-May your next prayer be at the Kaaba. -Me and you, my love.

Coming to bed?

-Two gratitude prayers first. -You've done nine gratitude prayers.

Shouldn't I thank God? He's been very generous to us.

I'm going on a pilgrimage.

Now? Wait till morning.

Of course not now.

As soon I deliver.

Leave the child with Mom and go on Umrah.

-Does your back hurt? -I'm pregnant, Yaya.

I appreciate Mom for the first time now. A mother will--

What's this? You've only been pregnant for ten minutes.

Let me enjoy the moment. You're so silly.

Enjoy the moment, then.

Pray properly, then. Mecca is that way.

Shouldn't the doctor tell him?

Why do you always give me these hard jobs?

Do you want me to wash your underwear next?

Goddamn this job.

Abbouda, get these kids out of here. I don't want anyone here.

-Out, champs. -Out.

Everyone out.

-Blessed, O star of stars. -What's up?

Don't you know? The steroid test results are out.

Will you be letting one of the boys go?

No. The boys are all top-notch.

-But you disappointed me, Yaya. -Why?

-What do I mean to you, Yaya? -Nothing.

Exactly. An older brother.

So when you do something like this,

why not ask your brother for help?

Why should I hear it from others?

What do you want, Nebrawi? I don't get it.

What you did wasn't cool, man.

You replaced your sample with your wife's?

What do you mean, Nebrawi? Are you thick? I'm not a child.

Child? I saw the results myself.

-Congratulations. -On what?

-You're pregnant. -Pregnant with what?

Not to worry.

We won't say a word, out of respect.

We'll turn a blind eye. Take another sample.

You know who'll give the sample this time?

Abbouda!

What's up, Abbouda?

Get a cup and follow me to the toilet.

Pregnant? What idiots.

Where is it?

What is it, darling? Why are you back early?

Hey, Misk, where are the tests we did at the hospital?

-They're in the cabinet. -I looked, and they're not there.

I don't know, Yaya. I can't remember anything now that I'm pregnant.

Oh, and I can't wear high heels anymore. I asked.

-They said it's bad for pregnant women-- -Okay, Misk. Where are the results?

Look in the bathroom cabinet.

Why is he shouting?

Yaya Zahran.

No, no, no. This can't be.

It must be a ridiculous joke.

What does this mean?

Yaya, are you okay?

Stomachache.

There's some medicine on the side.

Where do I put this?

God help me.

I went to work today to apply for leave.

It's supposed to be at six months, but I'd rather not to risk it.

Then Ragia and I we went to the mall.

I can't believe how cute newborn clothes are.

Look how cute. Look at these shoes.

Then I got socks in neutral colors. Good for boys and girls.

-Because if it's a boy-- -Misk, I want to say something.

Yes, darling.

I'm…

What is it? Tell me.

Tell me, Yaya.

I… I'm going to the club.

-Okay, I'll go to the doctor-- -Don't you dare do that.

-What is it, Yaya? What's wrong? -I mean, don't go without me.

I want to be with you on your first visit.

And I really want you to be with me.

Yes, well, do we have to go today?

-Okay. -Don't you dare go.

I won't.

Coming. Coming.

-Yaya? You woke the kids. -Where's your husband?

Sleeping. What's wrong?

Yaya!

Samir.

-Get up. -What is it?

What? Torn cruciate ligament?

-No-- -Your cruciate ligament?

-It's-- -Your cruciate ligament?

-Nothing's torn! -So no catastrophe!

Unless it's the cruciate ligament!

Tell me what's up. Is Misk okay? Did she spoil the mulukhiyah again?

What mulukhiyah? There's a problem in the team.

-Make us tea. -Problem in the team?

Aren't you ashamed? Scaring us and waking up the street?

"Problem in the team."

-Your screaming made me infertile. -What?

Made you infertile?

-I married a printer of children. -Listen to me.

Samir, I'm in trouble, and only you can get me out.

Of course, because I--

You'd rather sell a child than I stop playing and have the money stop.

Okay, that too. What's up? At your service.

Never mind that.

I need a doctor for abortions and stuff like that.

-Abortion? -Yes.

-Abortion, Yaya? -Lower your voice.

You don't want the baby your wife's wishing for?

How strange people are, O Lord.

Of course it's not for Misk, you idiot.

That's what I thought. Oh, my God.

Who's it for, if not for Misk?

You got someone else pregnant? What were you thinking?

I'm trying to get the Saudi contract. How can I get them to sign now?

Enough! Lower your voice. Can you find me a doctor or not?

Fine. Do I have any other option?

I tried finding one for your sister--

Abortion for my sister?

You want my sister to get an abortion, you sleazy sleazebag?

I didn't. I didn't take her, bro.

It just crossed my mind. But what am I to do, Yaya?

The contraceptives I put in her tea don't work.

I swear I'm going to kill you.

What's this?

Nothing. I sprained my neck, and he's fixing it.

-How's that? -Yes, that's good.

Yes. Bless you.

Your magic touch.

Your tea's on the balcony.

Idiots.

Come with me. Move.

Fry us some liver.

What are we going to do?

Relax. Don't worry. I'm destined to clean up your mess.

-Dr. Luck specializes in such things. -What's the doctor's name?

Bekdash. That's his name, not his specialty.

His name's Bekdash? Is he good, and discreet?

Very discreet. He's good, but sloppy at the same time.

But tell me, who did you knock up?

-I'm guessing it's Laila Zakzouk. -No.

-Not Laila Zakzouk? -No.

-Her sister, Shahira? -No, neither of them.

-Their aunt Nafisa? -No Zakzouks at all.

Look, take me to this doctor, and let's be done with it.

Take you? Are you crazy? He has a reputation.

Anyone sees you, and it's a scandal. We don't need that.

You stay away, and I'll take the girl.

-Is it Mona Zakzouk, then? -Not bloody Mona or any Zakzouk.

It's not going to work, Samir. I need to go.

Why you? I don't understand.

Yaya, what are you hiding? Is it your cruciate ligament?

-I see. There's a catastrophe. -I can't manage this burden alone.

-Speak, Yaya. You're worrying me. -Samir, I…

-I'm pregnant. -Pregnant with ideas?

No, no. I'm with child, Samir.

What child?

Samir, I'm expecting.

-A job offer? -I'm pregnant.

There's a baby in my belly.

What are you saying, Yaya? Your bloody jokes, bro.

Pregnant.

What a nightmare.

-What a-- -Shut up. Don't make a scene.

How can you be pregnant? Whose is it?

-What do mean, pregnant? -I don't know.

My tests were replaced with Misk's at the hospital. I don't know how.

I can't tell Misk she's not pregnant. She'll go nuts.

-What do I do? -About what?

-I don't know. -A pregnant man? What is this, sci-fi?

Oh, dear God. This isn't a normal catastrophe.

This is thinking way out of the box.

I warned you to avoid contact with the defenders.

-Please, do something. -Don't worry.

We'll see Dr. Bekdash, and he'll solve it, inshallah.

-I hope. -Drink. Drink your tea.

Oh, dear God. A pregnant man?

Tea?

The best she's ever made.

Is it cloves?

Look. A man with the same thing.

Same thing? These guys are with their wives.

-Good evening. -Good evening, sweethearts.

We need the doctor quickly.

I wish I could help, but this miss is next in line.

-What is a miss doing here? -Do you have money?

No, I don't. Can't we pay by card?

You think we're in Beano's Café? Oh, my dear God.

-Listen, honey, let the miss wait a bit. -At your service.

I'll let you in right away. Fill in this form.

Okay.

What a rotten clinic, Samir.

It's okay. We'll follow up at the hospital.

Great pajamas. Do you sleep here or what?

-Have a seat. -Thanks, sweetheart.

-Welcome, welcome. -Thank you.

God help you, Doctor. Did you just finish surgery?

No, I was fixing the toilet flush.

-You two look nervous. -A little.

Nothing to be nervous about at all. I want you relaxed,

so I can do a clean job.

-You're Saeed Al Saeed? -Correct.

And the victim is Yara Al Manegrawy.

-Al Mangawy. -False names, right?

What can I say?

Oh, you…

"Casual intercourse behind the chair factory.

Second junction in Al Mokattam." You're very brave.

Drugs, Doc.

A real sharp one.

-First time with us? -Inshallah.

I promise you it won't be your last.

You'll be doing it a lot. Once, twice, three times.

-Once she's okay, we'll be back at it. -May God protect our women.

-Why isn't the lady joking? -That time of the month.

-Is she shy? -Not at all.

-Nervous? -Not nervousness. Regret.

-Regret, with a feeling of shame. -Oh, no. There's no need for shame.

Listen, I want you relaxed and totally at ease.

Your mental state is very important.

I learned that in three years of medical school.

-What's up? -Three years?

He's smart and did it in three. Why do seven?

-Please, I-- -Sit down, Yaya. I mean, Yara.

-What did you say? -Yara.

Yara?

Look, Yara, relax completely and put yourself in my care,

like a piece of Plasticine, so I can fix you by my own hand.

Surrender mentally and physically, totally and partially.

-And Plasticine-ally. -Exactly.

We're going to be great friends.

But no distractions.

-None at all. -We're calm.

No distractions while I work.

She must be still in the chair so I can do a clean job.

-Don't mess around, Yara. -Look, Yara.

You must sit in this position, not like this or that,

so I can work and finish in a half hour, God willing.

What is it, woman?

Oh, my God! Two men at the same time? This is a first for me.

Open your mouth, and I'll bash your face in.

Kawthar! Kawthar!

Get him, Samir!

-Hold still, you. -What do you want? Money?

-We don't want money. -Take the money.

-We don't want money. -What, then?

-Surrender medically. -No.

Surrender partially.

Captain Yaya. Captain Yaya.

Why are you doing this? What did I do to you?

What are you filming, Captain? What is this?

This is our insurance, you sleazeball.

If you rat on me, this video will be trending in five minutes.

Why would anybody rat on himself? This clinic is open by God's grace.

Also, this video is nothing. It's free advertising.

You know, Samir, he's right. Let him go.

Let him go?

Yes, let him go, bro. He's in enough shame already.

Yes. Please, Samra, untie me.

Don't take it personally.

-I understand, Samra. -It's just business.

Anyway, this is much better.

-Sit there. -Yes, sir.

-What's this? -Leave it.

Here I am.

Here I am, Captain, just like nothing happened.

Tell me.

What's all this? What's this?

Fifty-three positive pregnancy tests. I'm pregnant.

Praise the Lord.

It's the beginning of the end.

Better players than you have crashed because of drugs.

Look.

I'll refer you to an addiction clinic, somewhere far away.

Let's say Halayeb, Shalateen--

I am not tripping, Doctor.

I wouldn't be here if I wasn't sure.

But pregnant how? Be scientific, so I believe you.

Here's the science. Why are the tests positive?

Maybe they felt that you really want a baby.

The result of feelings? The steroid test said that I'm pregnant too.

Could it be because you--

Look, you.

Whether he is pregnant is not the question.

We're telling you the harsh truth. Do you know who this is?

-Captain Yaya Zahran. -Wrong.

He is my future, falling to pieces.

The livelihood of my family.

Remove what's in his belly, or I'll give you one in the belly.

Okay. Okay.

Let's talk calmly.

Easy.

Kawthar.

Get rid of all the patients. Put a sign up saying you're closed for renovations.

But, well, where to start?

I can't work. I want to, but I can't.

Please, God, spare us from evil.

Where do I start? What do I do?

-Something moved. Is it the baby? -No, a kidney stone.

Kidney stone?

What am I supposed to do?

I'll do what I usually do, I guess.

-What are you doing, you idiot? Damn. -Relax.

What's the matter? How can I examine you?

Is this your first abortion?

Abort what from where?

Tell me. From where?

-Please. -Please what?

-Explain to me. Go on. -What?

Teach me. I stand before you ready.

-Go on. -What?

Pass me the bag.

I told you at the start, this guy doesn't want to work,

and this won't end well unless we burn down the clinic.

-No! -He thinks we're joking.

-Look, Bekdash, you jerk, I swear-- -Burn it.

-What are you doing? -I swear. What's up with this lighter?

There's one on my desk.

Wait. I'll do all you want.

-But I need time. -How much time?

I'll give you laxatives to abort,

and pass by in three weeks.

-He's lying. -Yes, come on--

No, no! I'm not lying. By God, I'm not lying.

Look, take the medication. If it works, then great.

If not, we do whatever you want. Okay?

What else do you want?

Fire alarm? We haven't burnt anything yet.

Oh, no! The police are coming.

-Come on, Yaya. Hurry. -No. They come from there.

Go that way.

Are we taking the tests?

What tests? There's no time for that. Hurry.

-We escape in the fridge? -It leads right to the street.

Where do we find you?

Don't worry. They just close the clinic for a few days. I'll be back. Go.

Hurry.

We won't pay next time.

Just go!

Get up. Get up!

What a stink. Did you eat fish?

A great pass…

Come on, bro. What's that?

You're hopeless. Yaya, please.

Play. Play.

Tackle him.

Didn't I tell you not to come here again? If you come again, I'll rip you up.

Need anything?

Excuse me. I'd like you to play, if you're not too busy.

What kind of rotten job is this?

Abbouda!

Come here. Give me. Give.

Look, chief, here's what we'll do.

We paint a picture. And you?

You put the finishing touches on it.

I want you to maneuver and tackle with lots of fouls,

so that they make mistakes…

What's the matter? You sick?

I'm feeling dizzy, and I feel nauseous.

Dizzy?

Okay, Captain. I'm ready.

Ready? You have fourth-degree poisoning.

-Relax. Farkha! -I'm fine, Captain.

No, relax. Farkha!

I'm playing, Nebrawi. Playing.

Abbouda, get up! Announce the change! Up!

What's this, bro?

What is this?

What a bloody job.

First change of players by Al Raya.

Hema is off.

Don't come back.

Come on, "Capitano." Show them the moves.

Nebrawi.

Farkha.

Abbouda, please,

get Farkha on and fetch my phone and car keys.

Second change by Al Raya. Yaya is back off straightaway.

Farkha, number 6, coming on.

Really? Already?

May your next prayer be at the Kaaba.

This color is good for boys and girls.

Very nice. It's for zero to three months.

Three months? Your daughter's nearly one.

Not for her, for the one coming. Didn't I tell you I'm pregnant?

When did you have the time?

Why the surprise? I haven't been pregnant for 11 months.

That's too long. Do you press a button to become pregnant?

-Don't be envious. What's wrong with you? -I'm joking.

-We'll take these, please. -Yes, madam.

I'm sorry, but your daughter was playing and spilled juice on this item.

We will have to charge you for it.

-Who says she's my daughter? -Excuse me? She's standing next to you.

She's not my daughter.

-Do you know me, sweetheart? -No, Mommy, I don't.

See? Go on, sweetheart. Go find your mommy.

Hold on. Let me get the phone.

-Sorry. I'll pay for it. -Hi, Zainab.

-What happened? -Misk! Samir is cheating on me!

Calm down, Ragia. Don't believe everything you hear.

Why would Zainab lie?

She saw Samir going into an abortion clinic with a veiled woman.

-Why would Zainab be in a place like that? -Not her. Her sister, Hala.

-Hala saw him? -No, her husband, Kamal, did.

His friend Saeed goes to the same barber as Samir.

So the barber saw him?

His assistant.

What nonsense is that?

Samir, you cheat.

Ragia, my darling.

Wait here. I'll be right back.

Pity about your six-pack.

They look like gills.

-Son. -Yes, sir?

-Shine the light for me. -Here.

-Son. -Yes.

-Shine the light. -It's here!

Not on me. Him.

What's this? Kawthar!

Kawthar! Didn't we say one at a time?

-It's like a sauna. -Shut up, idiot. It's my wife.

-Then buy the package for two. -Misk, I'll explain--

Silence!

One: You cheat on me.

Two: You bring those girls here.

Three: Why are you disguised in a niqab?

-Four: I want a divorce right now! -Five: I'm leaving.

-Six: Pay me and fight at home. -Where are you going?

-It's you bringing his girls here, you-- -What?

Go on, Doctor. Just keep blaming me as usual.

-We are here because-- -Quiet! Don't you dare say.

-We are here because-- -Quiet! Don't you dare say.

Let them speak! Let them tell me you're cheating.

Everybody listen. Yaya is cheating on Misk!

-You're cheating on me, Yaya? -Calm down.

-Do I deserve this? -Hey, woman!

Lower your voice. This is scandalous.

You're right to have an abortion. Children with this madwoman?

Will you shut up?

I'll explain everything, but stay calm.

-It's much bigger than cheating. -Okay, I'm calm.

I'm ready. Speak.

Speak, Yaya. Tell me now.

-Right now. Tell me now-- -Woman.

Goddamn you. Tell her.

Be quiet, goddamn it!

I'll tell you, Misk.

There's good news and bad news.

First,

you're not pregnant, Misk.

What? I'm not pregnant?

Immediately.

-Not pregnant? -It's fine.

-And the good news? -That was it. Here's the bad news.

-How do I say it? -All at once.

I'm pregnant, Misk.

-Misk. -Kawthar! Stretcher!

Thank God.

She's awake.

-What's this? -Are you okay?

You guys must be joking.

Yaya, if this is a prank, tell them it's enough.

I swear it's not a prank.

Misk, we're not discussing the possibility.

We're past that stage. I'm telling you the fact.

There's a child in me.

Guys, this doesn't make any scientific sense.

Pregnancy requires a womb, and you, my darling--

What's that?

Why is your belly so big?

Are you really pregnant?

Doctor, enough with the what, why and all that.

Enough astonishment. We've had every reaction possible.

Relax, so we can fix this catastrophe.

People, this is not a catastrophe.

What is broken can be fixed, and God is merciful.

If you want a child, never mind how it comes.

It could come in any way. Even a stork can bring it.

-What are you talking about-- -Wait, quiet. Let him finish.

I mean, since you want a child, it's the same--

your belly, his belly, even my belly, as long as the child's healthy.

What?

Honestly, he has a point.

You too?

Wait, Yaya.

God must have done this for a reason. We have to keep the baby.

What baby? Are you mad?

Wait, Yaya. Wait. Keep the baby? Is he a geography teacher?

He's a football player. His body is all he has.

What business is this of yours?

This is my livelihood. Of course it concerns me.

Doctor, your husband is your business, but I won't let you ruin my life.

And you. I swear on my marriage to your sister,

if you don't abort the baby, I'll pull it out myself!

You'll pull it out, you madman?

What a nightmare!

Police!

Run. Quick.

Come here. This way. May God bring you ruin.

Hurry, Samir!

Leave me alone.

Quiet. You're embarrassing me.

Are you crazy, Misk?

I promise, your pregnancy will be easy.

As if you're telling me things like that?

I'm a star. Do you know what that means?

Can you imagine the scandal if this gets out?

No, no. No one will know. We'll leave for nine months till you deliver.

How many years of football do I have left to waste nine months?

-Move. -Yaya.

I only have a year or two to play.

I'm looking for any contract in the Gulf to secure our future.

-You want me to give it up for what? -"For what?"

For something more important-- our future family.

If you don't have the baby, we may never have kids.

So what if we don't? It's our lot.

Oh, my God! You're making clove tea? Are you asking for an abortion?

Bekdash prescribed it nine times a day.

Yaya.

-You're coming in with me? -Do you think I'm stupid?

You're going to the toilet to abort the baby.

You think you can stop me?

I'm not doing it now.

Go away.

Yaya.

I'm not opening. Sleep on the couch.

Look, If you're imitating that film Hafeed

and jumping on the bed to end the pregnancy,

you could kill yourself.

-I hope I die and find peace. -Do the pregnancy first.

I mean, God forbid.

Yaya.

Look, Yaya.

One: no leaving home. Two: no going out--

Aren't they the same thing?

That's true.

Three: no football. Let's see what happens.

Yaya.

Oh, no.

Where did he go? He's gone training.

Want to kill my child, Yaya?

What's this?

Look at Yaya run.

Right from the start, as if he's running from the police.

Just like the old days,

when he finished training fresher than he started.

Who's he racing, anyway?

-Samir. -Yes.

I want you to be honest.

What's happening?

Is it steroids?

Hormones.

"Testesteros."

The male hormone?

-The manly hormone. -If only.

Nice one, Yaya!

-Oh, no! -Higher, Yaya.

Yaya!

We need to work together, Yaya.

Why are you here?

Why are you here? Aren't you worried about the child?

Oh, wow. What child?

This is a respectable club. Not here.

Go home so we don't fight in front of everyone.

I'm not going. I warned you: no football.

You gonna stop him?

Only death can stop him.

Hey! You'll jinx me.

Don't get hysterical. What a suitable turn of phrase.

Okay, so you want to control me? Right. Stay and watch.

I'll make you sick with worry.

-Yaya! -Forget Yaya.

-Yaya! -Shoot, Nasser.

Watch this.

Oh, my dear God!

Nice one!

God help you, Doctor.

Really, Yaya?

You're torturing yourself and worrying me.

What if you were hurt?

You know I can't live without you.

I won't argue. Do whatever you want.

Why are you crying? Do whatever you want.

I'm not crying about that.

I fancy kippers.

-You what? -I'm craving kippers.

I've been smelling them all day.

What's happening to me?

My cutie has a craving?

Cutie is craving kippers? Oh, how cute! That's so sweet!

Oh, God.

-Yes, Samir. -Where are you?

-Still sleeping? -I overslept.

We can't be late.

-I'll be there in 30 minutes. -He's waiting.

-Hurry up. -Coming, coming.

What? Misk!

Misk!

Yes, darling.

I made you kippers.

Did you chain me to the bed?

No, darling. Would I do that? I'm protecting you.

Protecting me? Who will protect you from me?

Release me, Misk. This is a stupid joke.

I don't know how.

You're damaging my work.

The head of the Saudi club is here. He came to Egypt just to meet me.

If I don't go, I'll lose the job.

So lose it. Let it go.

What's more important than this?

Didn't we say no football until after the baby comes?

No football? Were you lying when you said I can do whatever I want?

Look, Misk, I'm trying to stay calm,

but I swear I'll show you a side of me you haven't seen.

Do I deny you anything? I made the chain long so you can walk around the room.

Like a dog?

I tore my cruciate ligament. Let me go now.

Cutie wants to trick me? By imitating Neymar?

-Missed. -Come. Let me tell you something.

Misk? Misk!

I'm not going to stay chained all day.

Let me go. I want to pee. Then you can chain me again.

I thought of that.

If you look here, there's a potty you can pee in.

A potty? Wear it on your head.

And there's the TV remote.

I subscribed to the English League.

The most important thing is to eat well. You're eating for two now.

What?

Misk, enough joking around. Misk!

A night with sky and stars

And the moon

His moon and his night

-Do you like my voice? -The best since Umm Kalthoum.

-Really? -Beautiful. Rest in peace, Umm Kalthoum.

You brightened Egypt with your light.

Thank you very much.

I don't like flattery, you know.

You'll get to know me.

I adore Saudi Arabia.

God bless you.

I adore the people and the state.

-You're too kind. -And I like your nabulsi kinafa.

-Saudi Arabia and nabulsi kinafa? -So tasty.

That's Lebanese, it's not Saudi.

-Seriously? -Yes.

-Your light brightened Egypt. -What am I, an electric meter?

Where's this player?

Nearly here. Are you bored with me, sir?

I adore the soil of Saudi Arabia and the Syrian syrup it's known for.

Syrian syrup and nabulsi kinafa? Are you taking me around the Arab world?

Listen. I had Syrian syrup in Saudi Arabia.

Have it anywhere you want. But where is he? Does he have no respect?

Oh, no. Cut your tongue-- I mean, cut my tongue.

Of course he respects you.

You don't know Yaya yet. He is the moral soul of our team.

So finish this deal for me, and you'll get a sweet tip.

Do you mean Egyptian sesame sweet?

-I mean money. -Money?

Leave this between us. Yaya doesn't need to know anything.

-Shall we say 50,000 dinars? -Dinars? Who do you think I am?

-What currency then? -Riyals.

Ah, riyals. I adore Saudi riyals.

50,000 riyals for me? Say it's for tea.

-Tea for 50,000 riyals? -I'll also buy food and stuff.

No problem. I'll give you 50,000 riyals.

But you must fix it.

I'll fix it now.

-Call him, bro. -What?

-Bro. -What is this "bro"?

Like brother.

-Okay, brother from another mother. -My man.

Hi, there.

Star of suns.

Where are you?

I've told him everything I know about Saudi Arabia.

We talked about Arabic coffee and riyals…

Where are you?

-What? -What happened?

-It's all fine. -Put it on speaker.

-Speaker? -Turn the speaker on.

Yes, sir.

Man, I can't get out.

Misk chained me to the bed.

-Chained? -Football players love joking.

You're talking about love? Tell the guy to sit on his ass.

-Sorry. I must hang up. -He said "ass"?

No, no. You misheard because of the squeaking bed.

You're disgraceful.

-Where are you going? -Get away. Pay the bill.

What bill? Abu Nawaf. Wait! Abu Nawaf!

Excuse me, Doctor. You went out and forgot the dog tied at home.

Excuse me. We'll talk later.

Be quiet. Why are you at my work?

Work? Didn't you do the same when you came to the club?

If you're going to be stubborn, then so will I.

Look, Misk, I'm going to get an abortion immediately.

Not in a while, right now.

If you want to keep what we have, then help me.

-No, I won't. -If you don't, I might die doing it.

You'll be guilty.

What's in you is my last link to you.

I don't want you if you deny me.

Don't want me, Misk?

Yes. If you do this, then divorce me.

Divorce you?

Dr. Misk, Dr. Omar wants to see you.

Coming.

The key's there.

Remove the chains.

Did you see our child?

-I was-- -Did you see it?

I can't see anything.

I'll show you.

See that dot?

That's our child, Yaya.

Is it a boy or a girl?

We'll know in the fourth or fifth month.

It's just developing

and has a faint pulse.

Do you want it?

Please, Yaya.

One: You can't let anyone see you're pregnant.

Please, Misk. If this gets out, I'm finished.

Two: The baby that's coming in nine months is in my belly.

We'll pretend I'm pregnant, not you.

Hello. Is this Siham Salalem?

Hi, darling.

Yes. I'm Samir Gergeer.

No, I left football.

It's not a good image. I might work in nightclubs again.

Three: We'll cut back on carbs and eat more protein.

-Please. -No!

No, Farida is an ugly name. Dima is nicer.

Not Dima. That's a brand of socks.

What's up with you and names?

I'm carrying the baby, and you get to choose the name?

Four: Walk for an hour every day, and you must drink lots of water, Yaya.

I'm exhausted, Captain Nebrawi.

I have a skin disease that infects anyone who sees me.

I have a great idea.

If it's a girl, you name her. If it's a boy, Murad or Adli.

-Adli? What Adli? -Mom wants Adli, like his grandfather.

-Your mom's father? -Yes.

That in itself is an insult.

But I can come. Just tell me, and I'll come.

Five: no football until you deliver.

I've run out of excuses for the club.

Not my problem.

Careful with my belly button.

Are you unwell?

-Sorry. He tore his cruciate ligament. -No worries.

I want to end my career properly.

Do you have work for me?

Last point, Yaya.

You can't change your mind. You'll be risking your life.

God bless you, darling.

As usual, if anyone asks, you're here to pick me up.

-I got it. -Walk properly.

Captain Egypt. May I?

Excuse me. Take it higher.

Or sideways, because I have problems below.

-Thanks. You're the greatest. -Welcome.

-I won't tell you again. And remember-- -Dr. Misk.

-Dr. Omar. Hi. -I hope all is well.

-How are you? -Fine, thanks.

-You're in today? -I had to do surgery.

-Bless you. -Is our appointment still going ahead?

Appointment?

To check up on my pregnancy.

My husband, Yaya. My colleague, Dr. Omar.

Good evening.

You look familiar.

Oh, the singer.

What do you mean, singer?

Aren't you a famous singer?

I'm a deejay. Should I play something?

-Enough, Yaya. -Let me play him something.

Stop it, Yaya. He's a very well-known football player.

-Looks like you carry the ball with you. -He's really cute.

-Very funny. -Enough.

-I'm kidding. -Really cute.

-What does he mean? -He's not trying to offend.

He doesn't know football.

He's pretending he doesn't know me. Everybody knows me.

Even Zlatan.

And why did you book an appointment?

What? For a checkup, when I thought I was pregnant.

Why him? Check yourself. You're a doctor.

-It doesn't work that way, darling. -Why not? The barber shaves himself.

Can you be that stupid, Yaya.

Move down a bit.

I got so fat.

You're not fat. It's the baby.

-Who is it? -Mom. What could she want?

What do you think? She got a hunch that we're happy and wants to meddle.

-Can't she leave us be? -Be quiet.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Misk. Where are you?

I'm at the hospital.

-With Dr. Omar. -What are you doing here?

Where's the ultrasound?

On the left.

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

Why are you here now?

You told me about the ultrasound, and I wanted to be with you.

I must be the first to know the sex of the baby. I'm coming.

-What? -Why are so shocked?

What's she saying?

Don't you want me to come?

Hi, Mom.

Why are you being like this?

You wanted to come without me?

Aren't there doctors to do this?

Instead of doing it yourself?

It's no problem. The barber shaves his own head.

Shaves his own head? Aren't you going to undress?

No. It's too cold.

I don't know how you're not freezing.

Okay?

All right.

You'll do it over the clothes?

Yes. Medicine has come a long way. You haven't had babies in a while.

-Come on. -Who are you to talking to?

I'm just encouraging myself. I'm very nervous.

You should feel nervous. Even I feel nervous.

Come on, sweetheart. Don't be lazy, like that guy you married.

-What's that? -Nothing. Another girl as nervous as me.

She's in labor. Let's lower our voices or just stop talking.

Right. Come on. In the name of God.

A little to the right.

I said right. That's left. A little left.

Lower.

Lower. Come on, focus, Mom.

-What should I do? -Me, what?

Sorry. I told you I'm nervous. Forgive me.

Darling, you should be nervous.

How can you relax when you're married to someone like that?

How could you pass on an ideal man like Dr. Omar

and marry Yaya?

-Come on! What's happening? -It's okay.

I warned you about those people. Sorry. Mom doesn't mean it.

What's that?

What is it?

It's a girl, Mom.

Really? A girl?

Thank God.

Thank God.

I hope she's not as ugly as your husband's family.

My love.

-Sorry. Mom, let's go. -What's going on?

Or wait a bit.

Yaya.

He's been killed. Just what we need.

Yaya!

Yaya.

What's this? You left the door open?

The club approved all your dues till the end of the season.

They think you're pressuring them to leave.

Whatever. To hell with the club.

Abu Nawaf called.

Actually, I kept calling him till he gave up.

We're meeting him on Saturday. Listen, this is our last hope.

Be nice to him until we sign the contract and get the deposit.

Then go dance ballet, write a book, whatever you like.

In any case, you won't have to play until next season.

After you've had the kid.

Are you following, Yaya?

What are you watching?

-Yaya! -What is it, Samir?

-What are you watching? -The series Bride of Istanbul.

I've watched 87 episodes in two days.

It really makes you wanna cry.

"Makes you wanna cry"?

Won't I make you want to cry? If I become a beggar?

Oh, my. Oh, my.

Is this Yaya?

Is this the Yaya who shook stands when he entered the pitch?

Lounging around like this? And your wife--

-Is Misk here? -She's at the hospital.

The hospital? She left you like this?

This is no good.

She'll have you doing laundry and cooking for her.

Oh, no. I forgot the rice.

What rice?

-Help me up. -What rice? You made rice?

Oh, my.

What a disaster.

What a pity.

Are you making orange cakes too?

Enough, Samir. Enough. Are you going to moan whenever you see me?

It happened, and abortion is out of the question.

Even if I could, I wouldn't do it. If not for my sake, then for Misk's.

You think doing this will make you bigger in her eyes?

We all see you getting bigger, but only in size.

Not as a husband. No.

Look at yourself. You look like a pear.

Do I, now?

She sleeps in the children's room.

Samir, does pregnancy affect the performance?

-I haven't noticed. -Pay attention.

Does it affect… you know…

-Ask your mother. -What?

Or your sister. Anyone who's given birth. Have I ever given birth?

And you, Captain Egypt?

-Are you sick? -Worse.

Worse in every way.

During the first three months, we were great.

After the third month, I could barely pee.

No, no. This is worrying, Yaya.

We have to take care of you.

What? Show respect.

I'm trying to help you.

Take this.

What's that?

-It's a 16-teza flash drive. -What's a teza?

Bigger than a terabyte.

Sixteen teza of what?

Every intimate trick,

including early porn in clothes.

Just in time.

-When is the mother coming? -At 6:00.

Look at those women.

What's that thing I married?

You made me marry your sister.

I'll get my revenge.

What?

What is it?

Are you watching The Secret?

-Didn't it affect you? -Not at all.

-Not even that blonde? -Nor the green.

I don't feel anything. The morning news affected me more.

Not that black guy?

-Hey, Samir? -I don't understand what sex you are.

Sit up or do something.

And what's this? Do you need so many layers?

I'm waiting. I forgot my key.

-No idea. -Move.

-Act normal. -Yes, yes.

Magdi.

Turn it off.

-Is this the AC remote? -It's for the TV.

-Check the battery. -Open the door, Yaya.

Magdi.

-Hurry up, you idiot. -Where's the switch?

I don't know. Check behind.

There aren't any buttons.

Unplug it!

Pull the plug.

-No buttons. -Unplug it.

Is this TV connected to the electricity?

Stop it, Magdi.

-Pull out the flash drive. -It's stuck.

-Stuck? -Yes, stuck.

Nothing will stop me. This is my source of income.

Move.

-Oh, yes, Magdi. -What do you think you're doing?

Move. Get out of the way!

How's that, Magdi?

-Goddamn you! -Is Magdi here in the room?

Lift with me.

Move.

-My drive. -What's going on?

Oh, my God. What happened to the TV?

Magdi.

Nothing, Miskousa.

We were watching a match. I got annoyed and broke it.

You got annoyed and broke the TV?

Yes. We were playing Masr Almuqsar, and--

I mean, Almuqassam. We'll get another.

One: You're lying.

-Two-- -You're not truthful.

Complete silence.

Three: Didn't I tell you not to watch this sleaze until you've had the baby?

-You did. -Four--

Four… Oh, my.

Four: I forgot Ragia came with me.

You're the one who's pregnant?

I swear, Ragia, we were going to tell you. But we know you're a bit thick--

Congratulations, Brother.

So now you've become a girl?

That reaction is stranger than the reality.

Your long-awaited arrival in Egypt brightens our days.

Why do you keep talking about light?

Are you an electrician? I'm leaving in five minutes.

Wait! Captain Yaya will be here in two minutes.

-Greetings. -Welcome, great star and scorer of goals.

Emperor of tackles.

-Wolf of the six yards. -Enough.

What to do? You have more titles than goals.

Greetings. Sorry I'm late.

No problem.

What's this you're wearing?

Yes, what is it?

I'm practicing what I'll wear in Saudi Arabia.

-Hiding things. -Yes, yes.

And as a sign of respect to you too.

Captain Yaya considers himself both Saudi and Egyptian.

And he loves your sugar puffs.

Have mercy, you're driving me crazy. We don't have sugar puffs.

What do you eat, then?

What business is it of yours?

Captain, a word of advice: Get rid of this agent.

Why are you saying that? I brokered this deal.

What deal? He's going to dump the deal.

Sorry, Abu Nawaf. Continue.

As I agreed with Samir,

I'll be in Saudi for a week or two, and when I get back, we sign.

Have a very safe trip.

Could you give us a little something before you go?

-Something? -Like a deposit?

-Deposit? Isn't 50,000 riyals enough? -50,000 what?

This guy buys tea for 50,000.

You're stealing 50,000 from me?

Stealing? Their tea is expensive.

Not to worry. Samir deserves it.

Anyway, I added something to the contract.

You must come and begin training with the team in one month.

Yaya?

Sorry I'm late, sweetheart. Your food will be ready in five minutes.

As if I would wait this long. I ordered food and ate.

Didn't we agree to not order food until the baby is born?

It's fine, Dr. Misk.

My wife is very busy these days.

She doesn't have time for cooking and stuff.

Sorry, sweetheart.

I had a lot of patients and just finished.

No, darling. I want you to focus on your work more these days.

You'll have to pay for everything.

I'll be busy changing nappies and nursing.

Why are you saying that?

I know you're upset about the Saudi contract.

But what's more important now? You're making a family.

Yeah, making a family…

-Wait. -Making a family.

Hello.

Yes.

No, tomorrow.

Really?

Okay, then.

Bye.

Was that Ali Rabie?

No, I don't know Ali Rabie.

So what were you giggling about?

It's Dr. Omar.

Dr. Omar?

I met him, but he doesn't seem like a comedian.

You don't get it.

He spilled coffee on himself while talking.

Really? He spilled coffee on himself?

-Have some respect, Misk! -You have some respect. What's wrong?

Coffee on himself? Respect your husband's presence.

It seems like you want to argue, and I'm tired. I'm going to bed.

Stay where you are. I haven't finished.

-What, Yaya? -What's the matter?

Why are you so dressed up?

Did you come from work or a party?

I came from the hospital.

We had a small party for Dr. Rifat, so I dressed up.

Why didn't you ask me to join you? Are you ashamed of me?

Since when do you come to my work parties?

I always ask, and you never come.

Since you always ask, why not today? Or do I embarrass you?

Admit it. You're ashamed. I'm ashamed of myself.

Yesterday a cop had to help me cross the road.

I've become…

People feel sorry for me. Leave me. I don't need help.

-I'm sorry, Yaya. -Enough apologies and crap.

Let's get pregnant and ruin my health and my fitness,

and you get a baby without any effort.

And another thing: People will think you did it, not me.

Disgusting.

But it's not your fault, it's mine.

I'm the one who threw away his future, having the child that you couldn't have.

Stop it, Samir. I can't argue now.

It's my future and my own business.

Listen, Samir. Do what I tell you.

Call Abu Nawaf

and apologize.

If you're too shy,

I'll do it.

Samir, come immediately.

Are they in the apartment?

What apartment? Show some respect. They're sitting right there.

Right. So what are we going to do?

I don't know. I'm going to stay calm and see what happens.

What happens? What more can happen?

Have they done anything? You're annoying me.

Don't be so naive, Yaya. Look closely.

…and I told her it won't work.

That smile lights up her face. It's a smile of something new.

I came to make up because I'm feeling guilty.

-Sucker. -What?

You have a good heart.

Look. Do you see what they're saying?

-How can I hear anything from here? -I said see, not hear.

Read their lips.

My gigs in nightclubs taught me to read lips.

So I asked her husband if he was coming to the operating theater.

There.

He's saying, "Misk, this is the moment I've been waiting for.

-You've finally agreed--" -He didn't say that.

Look. She's replying.

Have you been here before?

"How I love you and see in you the man I always wanted, Joe."

Are you reading lips or subtitles?

Wait. The food has arrived.

What did they order? Sushi? Sushi, Misk?

In Egypt, they cook them.

-What's he pouring? -What's he doing? Is that okra?

-Or is it sashimi? -Saeed Shimi who?

Sashimi. It's served with sushi.

Sure, she can't reject him. He's a good-looking and smart guy.

He could trick any girl.

Son of a bitch!

Yaya, don't be crazy.

Please, let's avoid a scandal.

-Please. -Let go.

-Yaya. -Move!

Yaya? What are you doing?

You think I'm an idiot, Doctor?

You made me sit at home like a woman while you eat sushi with the boss.

The sushi you denied me for the last six months!

Let's go. You seem confused.

And for what?

Because I got fat, and my body's round? And why?

-Just to carry your child-- -Please stop!

You'll finish us.

-Calm down, Yaya. -Captain Yaya, you misunderstood.

-We're here on business. -Yes, that's very clear. Very.

I'm such an idiot.

I think you're working, but you're with the doctor?

Shut up. Why are you talking to me like that?

Excuse me.

-Nothing happened-- -Move.

Good. That's better, bro.

Good day.

The foreign group we're meeting, from the World Health Organization.

Foreign what? There's nothing between you and Misk?

Of course not.

I told you, Yaya.

Captain Yaya,

let me speak from the heart.

You're an idiot.

Misk?

I mean, everyone has a weakness, and Yaya has his.

His weakness is not money or women, God forbid. It's crepes.

And unfortunately for us, a new crepe stall opened near his house,

so he's constantly stuffing himself.

With chicken, with cheese, and you saw the result.

-So he'll be away for long. -No, not at all.

As soon as he delivers, he'll be back as fit as ever.

-Delivers? -I mean the crepes in his belly.

-So when will he return? -A week after delivery.

-A week after-- -One week. I said a week.

-You don't know how to interview people. -Captain…

Yes, Misk.

Okay.

Three times a day before eating. Got it.

What? No, I won't apply it. He can do it.

Yes. Okay.

But I want to tell you something. Whatever Yaya did…

Hello?

Hello?

She hung up. Every time I bring you up, she hangs up.

Let her go to hell.

Do I deserve this?

How long I've been stuck here? She never checked or visited.

Shame on you, Yaya.

She calls daily to check on you and sends all your medicine and vitamins.

Because of what's in my belly, not me.

To her, I'm just a container for her child.

Answer, sweetheart, please. If someone sneezes, you say…

What? Where in the song do we say "Bless you"?

What are you saying?

And you. How lovely. The rabbit and carrot are green?

Aren't there any other colors? God save me!

Take me away so I can rest. Yaya, this is all your fault.

Making me stay home to see how dumb my kids are.

They've always been failures, Samir. You just never stayed home.

My girls? Failures?

Get up. No more studying. You start football practice tomorrow.

Anyone I see studying is in trouble! That's it!

Football? Are you crazy?

They'll play football and become better than him.

And I don't want to see that picture!

-He's gone mad! -I'll manage their careers,

starting with a haircut.

This one, I'll shave like Magdy Afsha.

-Come here, you. -Stop it!

-I'll cut her hair like Magdy Afsha. -Open.

-Open? -Open the door.

What is it, Yaya? You've been on the couch 40 days.

Are you in mourning?

Get up. Do something.

Is Captain Yaya here?

Yes, Captain Nebrawi.

How are you?

So now we've painted the picture,

framed it, and put it up,

do we remove the nail now and spoil all that we've done?

What a proverb.

Forget it.

Listen.

We want you with us.

You want me where?

-We want you in the final. -Did I say you could speak?

You're off the lineup.

-Congratulations. -Out of the apartment too.

-The place is crowded already. -Leave the cake.

It's an ice-cream cake. Put it in the freezer.

-No, we'll eat it once you leave. -Do you have bread?

What final do you want me to play? It takes me half an hour just to pee.

No, not to play. Don't be ridiculous.

You won't play. I'll put you in the lineup, but you'll sit beside me.

And I need you in the locker room

to encourage your teammates.

Encourage? You don't get it.

Wait. Let the captain finish.

Excuse me, Captain Nebrawi.

Did you notice how long it took me to open the door for you?

-I noticed. The cake started melting. -And why was that?

Why?

It took him here 15 minutes just to get off the couch!

And you want him to encourage others? Are you mad?

What's up, Samir? Take a breath and play ball.

Why so angry so fast? What happened?

He's right, Captain.

In front of 50,000 people? I'm in enough shame.

What shame? God forbid.

The fans love you. I'll tell you something, Yaya.

They want you to win the cup.

Win what? He can't take off his underwear!

Underwear? Don't shout like that. You might hurt your tongue.

Why are you tackling me? I am not a ball.

Samir, sit and let the captain finish.

Yaya, even if you want to end your football career now,

you must end it as a champion.

Don't forget: You're Yaya Zahran.

You deserve a better finale.

In the name of God,

welcome dear viewers.

Welcome to this exciting match.

Welcome, wherever you are.

Tonight we have the final

between Al Raya and Dynamos,

a match for the Africa Cup.

Who will be the winner?

The players are coming on now…

Greet your fans.

I'll greet the other team and come back. Go on.

What a great turnout for a star who's been away so long.

But he's put on weight.

But look at the beauty of football

and how the fans welcome him.

As I always say, no matter how wilted, a rose still smells good.

A wonderful welcome.

And as I always say, football is life.

You can see the affection between

the great star Yaya and his adoring fans.

We have 90 minutes of football that may extend to 120 minutes.

It may even go to penalties

-to find out who will win the Africa Cup. -Good shot!

He passes it from the right--

Why? Why?

Stop showing off and play football.

Kajoy passes it to Ghunyan. It's a dangerous one.

He charges through. What a match.

Thank God.

Thank God. We were jinxed, but we were saved. Good.

A very good opportunity for the Dynamos.

I told you they have very important players…

Yaya, warm up and go. Or go without warming up.

-Go where? -Where do you think? You're on.

On what, Captain? If I could move, I'd go pee.

Not to play. Do I look like an idiot?

Look, we're almost at the penalty stage, and you're the captain of this team.

Our guys are young and scared. You need to be there to motivate them.

Come on.

Captain Nebrawi, we agreed I'd come, not participate--

Abbouda, get up and announce the change!

What are you waiting for? Must I do everything myself?

Nebrawi is making his last change in the 120th minute.

He brings out Yaya.

What can this family-size Yaya do?

Especially now that we're seconds from penalties.

Could it be as a salute to loss or a joke?

Who knows? God knows.

But we'll soon find out

why this very unusual change was made.

Surprise and shock from Yaya and Nebrawi.

And now, dear audience, the final whistle.

The drama continues.

So, to penalties.

Five shots for each team

will decide who wins the Africa Cup

in this match.

The score is 5 to Dynamos and 4 to Al Raya.

This is the last shot.

What are you doing? Go on, score the goal.

I swear to God, no one will take this shot but you, Yaya.

Score what? How can I see the ball? I can't see you.

Guys, do you want to lose the season for me?

Yaya.

You!

Yaya is going over

to try to score on the last shot.

The fifth and most important shot of the league.

Please.

Yaya comes forward and shoots.

Is it possible?

Captain Nebrawi!

Congratulations. You'll win worst penalty shot this season.

Why did you take the shot, you fool? Get in quick.

-Where to? -To get the ball from Libya.

-Call Misk. I think it's time. -That's all we need.

Is it time for Yaya to retire?

-Did you pressure Nebrawi to play? -We've given up on sports.

Any questions about music?

-To start, I-- -You're going to start now?

Help me, Samir!

Have some decency! We're going to lose him!

-How long will you make your fans suffer? -You're a stupid reporter!

Call Misk. She'll know what to do.

Ragia called a dozen times with no answer.

If someone here finds out…

Is there anything worse than that penalty you missed?

You hit a plane.

That's enough, people.

Misk said she arranged everything here.

The midwife should have come to your home to keep everything a secret.

You're still here? Privacy please!

You're no-good reporters. I'll deal with you.

-Misk? -Yaya?

Oh, dear me.

Misk!

Move!

Stop, Misk.

-Stop. -I'm not stopping.

-Sorry, Yaya. I'm not stopping. -Stop there.

You stop.

Stop, Misk.

No! You stop if you're tired!

Stop. I'm tired.

-What is it, darling? -I'm tired.

-Bless you. -I'll kill you.

No. Dr. Omar, help me, please.

Come here.

-Help me, Doctor! -Come.

-What is it? -Come here. Get out of the way.

Relax. I'll explain everything.

Explain? Don't interfere with us.

-You! -What?

Why are you wearing that? Tell me now.

What are you doing? You deliver in two weeks.

Be quiet. You'll cause a scandal.

-Relax. I know everything. -You told him?

-Yes. -Confess. What are you doing here?

-I'll tell you. -Speak.

-I'm going to. -Speak!

I'm pregnant.

-Pregnant? -You're the father, Captain.

-Pregnant? -Yes, in the seventh month.

I've been here three days, and I deliver today.

Pregnant?

Pregnant, you witch?

Are you swearing at me?

You haven't seen anything yet.

All this time you let me suffer, and you're pregnant?

-Stop it, you idiot! I'm carrying a boy! -Am I carrying a kangaroo?

Folks, you're both pregnant. Fighting is not good for you.

Shut up, you. Just a second.

Did you say "boy"?

-Yes, it's a boy. -Pregnant with a boy?

Why didn't you tell me?

Why not? Speak up.

Why didn't you tell me?

Because you would have had an abortion.

So what? You already have a child. Why so greedy?

Am I plan B in case you fail?

Shame on you. You ruined my future.

You made me look like a fool.

Why are you always playing victim?

I was pregnant and tired of working and serving you.

All this without complaining--

All without complaining.

Get in there, you.

Move!

They're having a delivery party, with balloons

that say "It's a Boy" and "Welcome, Adli" behind our backs!

-What's this? -Calm down. What's this?

You knew and kept quiet?

I'll explain, Brother.

I thought it was a chance for you both to have babies.

You'll have two babies to start your family quickly.

Quickly? Mercy.

I was going to start stealing people's phones

just to pay your expenses!

Don't let her go. I'd kill her if I could.

-Yaya! -Help me, Misk!

Help…

NO ENTRY

I'm sorry, Yaya.

Don't be angry with me.

I should have told you when I found out,

but I want to have your child more than anything.

I'm not angry.

I'm confused.

What if you have a boy and I have a girl?

Will they be siblings?

Seriously, can they sleep in the same room?

This is no time to joke. I'm about to have a baby.

How about me? Me too.

Yaya,

I want you to remarry if I die.

But not a common girl from the club.

Marry someone who can raise the kids as if it were me.

God forbid, Misk.

-If I die, don't you dare remarry. -Okay.

-Dedicate your life to the kids. -Okay.

God help us.

I've been reading

about cases like mine.

None of them succeeded,

so count on this being a failure.

But remember that I tried.

-Don't give up because of me. -God forbid, Yaya. Don't say that.

I love you.

There's nothing in this world I want more that you.

We can do with only one child.

I knew you'd say that.

Ready?

Yaya.

Thank God you're okay. I missed you.

-Where are they? -"They"?

Our children.

Where are they?

Our children? What children, Yaya?

What are you hiding?

What happened?

What would I hide from you, my love?

Calm down. You shouldn't get excited now.

Where are our children? Did I have the baby or not?

How could you do that, Yaya?

You've been in a coma for a week.

But you're fine now, by the grace of God.

Coma?

Where's my bloated belly? I was pregnant.

How is that possible, Yaya?

Remember the supermarket, where the woman banged you on the head?

I hope you get a taste of our discomfort.

What does that mean?

Neither of us had a child?

I'm sorry for the pressure I put you under recently,

but nothing matters more than you.

I love you very much.

Thank God you're well, Captain. Dr. Omar is coming to check on you.

You're much better now.

Thank God you're well, Captain.

We'll run a few tests, and you'll be out in two days.

By the way, take it easy on the ladies,

now you've seen their dark side.

Most importantly, remember that you should surrender to me…

Completely.

Exactly.

76 WEEKS LATER

-Quiet, please. -Talk for yourself.

-You repeat yourself. -You do that.

-Stop it. -Kids. Let's work together.

He won't listen.

Look, Doctor, it's all on me.

The house, Adli, and he just goes to the studio.

-Following cameras and fame. -I'm working.

What else to do? Sit and nurse with you?

Like you lost me the Saudi deal?

Guys, this is no good.

Close your doors

and work it out yourselves.

I can't take it anymore.

Look, Sharif,

if you cannot help my daughter, let me speak!

Subtitles translated by: Stewart Innes