Original subtitles

- [Narrator] Tonight on Wiseguy.

- My dream for the town, for all of us,

it's about to be realized.

- Everyone here is a Stepford wife.

- [Man] Don't worry about our boy.

You're not gonna find Vince

if Vince doesn't want to be found.

- If we do it exactly by the numbers,

we can get Volchek.

- What are you doing here?

- I'm repaying a debt to a friend.

- What the hell is this place?

- It's the big chill.

- You know where he is don't you?

- [Man] I don't because he knows if I knew

and you asked me I'd tell you.

Honesty sucks doesn't it buckwheat?

(dramatic music)

- [Narrator] Previously on Wiseguy.

(electricity crackling)

- Vince?

Vince?

- [Vince] No more.

- He's gone, he's snapped, he took my car.

- This is a collect call.

You owe me and I'm calling to collect.

- I'm here to help you Frank.

You're not going to find anybody

better than me and you know it.

- This is Roger LoCocco.

You do what he tells you.

- Helmut Zimbrik is coming here tomorrow.

It's the final hurdle and we're free.

- Frank, look at this.

Volcheks are one fun family.

- [Frank] Poor bastard thinks he's creating a dynasty.

(growling) (screams)

- I got a rundown on Zimbrik.

He's been selling permits for health facilities for years.

He's under investigation by the state.

In fact, they're just about to bust him.

- Well can you get 'em to hold off

until he's done his deal with Volchek?

- It's already done.

- [Frank] You know I think the only reason

I'm buying into this situation is the off chance

that Terranova will come to his senses.

- [Lifeguard] He's not coming back Frank.

(somber music)

- The job is making pickups.

We contract the removal of waste materials

from hospitals and other health facilities.

The job is what it is.

500 a week, no health plan, no advancement.

You show up here in the morning sober, you work.

- And I want to be paid cash up front.

- With the disappearing acts I get,

no one gets paid up front.

- Okay but if I don't get some money

by tonight I'm going to lose my room.

- What was your last job?

- I did some dock work back east, you know, odd jobs.

- Another entrepreneur.

I'm not gonna stand around and wait for you.

You show up here in the morning,

and I'll pay you for the previous day's work, that help?

- Yeah it does, thanks.

- Any problems on the job, you take it up

with your field supervisor but I got to tell ya,

he don't like problems.

- Who's my field supervisor?

- Me.

- Hi Max how are ya?

- Hey I thought you left, Mr. McPike.

- Believe me Max, I wish I could.

You know where sheriff LoCocco is?

- He's overseeing Mr. Volchek's task force.

- Task force?

- Well this is a very big day for Lynchborough.

Mr. Volchek's been trying to get us a hospital for years

and the state's sending a man up

today to see if we need one.

We do, let me tell ya.

All we got now is Doc Putney and the veterinarian.

Mr. Volchek takes care of his own.

- Doesn't he just?

- I gotta get a haircut now.

They're free today if you want one.

- No Max, no thank you.

- It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, Frank.

- Do you have any idea where the hell Volchek is?

- Shouldn't you be in town?

- I spent all night up there in the fog

and he never came back.

- He's up at the Corvette Club test driving Michelle.

- [Frank] What time is Zimbrik due here?

- Couple hours.

- All right then we need to work quick.

I imagine Zimbrik's on his way here

to sell a license for the hospital to Volchek.

If he is we need to know where and we need to know when.

- He'd have plenty of privacy up at Transylvania.

- All right we don't take a chance with that,

'cause we're not gonna get another one

and the sooner we get Volchek, the happier I'm gonna be.

I do not like it here in Lynchborough.

I need to get out.

- I like these people.

They all look like they're out of a Diane Arbus photograph.

- [Frank] This is not a photograph.

- No, this is a still life.

- Excuse me is Mr. Volchek here?

- Is he expecting you?

- No but it's very important, hello.

- Is something wrong?

There's not much I don't know Mr. McPike,

and Mark needs to be protected.

- From who?

- Listen to me like a good, obedient girl.

- [Woman] Paul p-please!

- You're not always so obedient are you?

I have some friends of yours.

Little friends of yours.

- [Mark] McPike.

- Where the hell have you been?

You leave me up there all night last night

and don't even phone me?

- You're upset.

Lacey, get him a robe.

- All right, I have to leave Lynchborough.

- You can't, that wasn't the deal.

- Well the deal was I'd find somebody to help you.

LoCocco is here, there's no reason for me to stay.

- Do you suppose you could run a hot bath for us?

- [Woman On TV] I said nothing!

- It's okay Lacey, thank you.

There's a whole other reason for you to stay.

Things are heating up with the hospital.

- What things?

- Helmut's coming, a man with your experience

in these matters would be invaluable.

- Experience in what matters?

- Frankly I don't trust him, he's from Seattle.

- Experience in what matters?

- Let's just say that you both know the value of a buck.

- A crooked license broker?

- I didn't say that. - What do you want from me?

- Protection from blackmail.

- He's gonna blackmail ya?

- No, not blackmail, the other one, extortion.

I know enough about leeches to know

once they're into you, they can suck you dry.

You're a fed.

You must have access to equipment

that will allow me to throw this back into his face

should he try and dupe me.

- What you want me to record the transaction?

- I'm a rich man, Mr. McPike.

I need protection.

- Let me tell you something,

if Zimbrik finds out that I am a fed,

he is gonna take his license

and trot right back to Seattle.

This is not a brotherhood!

- Then he won't find out.

I'll tell him you're my adviser, my spiritual adviser.

Consultant to all my spiritual needs.

What could be more spiritual than a hospital?

- Spiritual?

Mhmm.

(sighs)

All right, but I'm on borrowed time.

I want to know where and when.

- My place, tonight.

You'll need to stay around for a few days after that,

just until the license is processed and in my hands.

You can stay at Korslava, pick a room, there are dozens.

Pick a bed from the tranquility parlor.

I'll have one delivered immediately.

This one is nice, Facili.

- All right, a couple days then it's...

In and out.

- McPike.

Bless you.

- [Man] Thought you were leaving.

- I'm here on official business.

- The serial killings are over, McPike.

The suspect confessed and died.

Oh I see, you're just another hanger on huh?

Mark's got bread, he's a needy guy,

so you're gonna fly in all your buddies one at a time

and get everybody's pocket lined.

(beeping)

- That's my pager.

The deal's taking place at Korslava.

Volchek wants me to bug the transaction.

- I'm supposed to run this up tonight when he calls.

- All right with any luck this time tomorrow

I'll be looking for Vince and you'll become invisible again.

- I'm opaque now Frank.

I don't disappear for no one.

And don't worry about our boy.

You're not going to find Vince

if Vince doesn't want to be found.

- You know where he is don't you?

- Nope. - You do.

- I don't because he knows if I knew

and you asked me I'd tell you.

Honesty sucks, doesn't it buckwheat?

(marching band music)

♪ Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay

♪ It's Helmut Zimbrik Day

♪ We wish that they could stay

♪ And now it's on its way

♪ Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay

♪ It's Helmut Zimbrik Day

♪ And we can save the day

♪ But they're here to stay

♪ Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-Ay

♪ It's Helmut Zimbrik Day

♪ We wish that they could stay

♪ And now it's on its way

♪ Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-Ay

♪ It's Helmut Zimbrik Day

♪ And we can save the day

♪ But they're here to stay

♪ Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-Ay

♪ It's Helmut Zimbrik Day

♪ We wish that they could stay

♪ But they're here to stay

(applause)

- Helmut, I'm sure you're thinking that maybe

Lynchborough has gone a little overboard with all of this.

But if you knew how long we've waited

for this hospital and what we've missed,

I stand here today thinking about all the people

who the hospital will be too late for.

Ollie Osterburg's appendicitis that turned to fatality,

Tommy the tank Braumiller and the broken leg

that was never mended, nor was his football career.

Jane Toshida who ran out of time

in an ambulance on the way to Seattle.

Helmut Zimbrik, two words, two little words.

I can't help but think somewhere in some language

they must mean thank you.

(applause)

- Thank you.

I can't take any credit for

what you are about to do and build here.

I can only think and pray that someone

up there may be listening.

- The marriage was doomed.

You know, we tried to make it work

but every attempt led to disaster.

- Did you try counseling?

The bureau's got some pretty good shrinks on retainer.

- It was doomed all right?

I didn't need to hear it from some guy

with initials after his name, or her name.

You ever been married?

- No.

- See, that's the way it is.

You're stuck here, you're isolated.

- I get out.

- This really is a nice place.

You know I could grow penicillin in my loft.

(laughs)

- Mine was like that too until I fixed it.

- How'd you get past the regulations and all that stuff?

- I waded through it until I got what I wanted.

- So what you're telling me,

is that things are the way they are

because I want it that way.

I like bitching about it.

- Sugar?

(phone rings)

Log 1500 hours, 31490, report center 12.

- 0129. - Thanks.

Hey Frank what's up?

- Listen uncle, the state attorney general's office

should be crystal clear on the events of this evening.

If we do it exactly by the numbers,

then we can nail 'em both.

Zimbrik and Volchek.

- I read you loud and clear.

- The money's going to be

in a Lynchborough high school gym bag.

When they make the pass, that's when we take 'em.

Then I can go home.

- You got it.

- Any news from Vinnie?

- Needle in a haystack, Frank.

He's gonna have to find us.

- Thanks uncle.

- For what is a hospital, but a friend?

A building, a shady tree to rest under.

- Thank you honey.

Kids, don't you love 'em?

(audience laughs)

Now let's segue to Doc Putney.

(applause)

- Whom shall we turn to when all is lost?

- Give 'em the fish, Doc.

- Lynchborough, heal thyself.

(applause)

Very nice, thank you.

(applause)

- That concludes our welcoming ceremony.

Let's all go home now and rest up

for the fireworks display tonight.

(marching band music) (cheering)

Everything is all set up for you at Korslova.

Just you and Michelle, all to yourselves.

- Michelle?

- Oh salmon.

Big, beautiful pink fish that swim hundreds of miles

for months at a time waiting to spawn.

Oh it's a wonder somewhere along the way

they don't just explode.

(laughs)

- I thought Helmut looked a little piqued.

- Well perhaps I do need a little nap.

- I'll send the limo by around eight

for our candlelight soiree and the rest of our arrangements.

We'll tidy up the deal.

♪ Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-Ay

♪ It's Helmut Zimbrik Day

♪ And when we say okay

♪ The good life's here to stay

- God.

- [Lacey] Michelle, show Mr. Zimbrik

to the presidential suite.

- Right this way.

(gentle guitar music)

- Roger LoCocco, renaissance man.

Sheriff, acrobat, chef.

- Toured with Basie on the vibes

and pen haikus to pestilence.

- [Lacey] Where's Luke?

- Everybody's up at Korslava working on the Zimbrik feast.

Thought you'd be up there too

leading the hospital countdown.

- What are you doing here?

- I told you, I'm repaying a debt to a friend.

- Is that debt repaid when Mark's destroyed?

You bastard.

Mark trusts you.

He thinks you're working with him, helping him.

This town exists entirely because of Mark.

If you bring Mark down, this whole town will crumble.

This town's frozen in time.

Every day is yesterday.

That's why it works.

It may not be the ideal place,

but maybe we're close and we don't know it.

- You mean like somewhere between

Walden's pond and Skinner's box?

- How do you explain the death of ideas

to the man who's been sent here to kill them?

This town could have been a utopia.

It was Mark's dream, and we were close.

It was at a point where you felt like

when you'd wake up tomorrow we'd be there.

- Is that why you're in love with him?

- I loved his ideals.

So simple they're genius,

like Walden's pond.

If he's faltering it's in learning how to let go.

He's like the father who

doesn't want to let his kids grow up.

- And you're the mother of his inventions

with sweets and long naps to keep him happy.

- There's no mothering on my part.

I'm no innocent.

It's just that I wanted it so badly.

- Look ma, I've done my service as acolyte

at the altar of ideals and the service

always ends up the same.

Idealism in practice is pragmatism.

Pragmatism slowly slides to fatalism.

Running down the wrong road, pedal to the metal,

pushing your future behind you!

And I'll tell you something else I know.

You don't know what the hell he's doing.

Your fatalistic servitude has rewarded you with exclusion.

All that's left up here is a big perversion.

Now you're gonna go down with it

regardless of what happens to Mark but you don't have to.

You don't have to blindly go down the chute,

just take what you need to survive and walk away.

(somber music)

- Who's winning boys?

Could I have a minute please?

How's the food here Eddie?

- What the hell do you want?

- I...

Oh, how to start this?

What the hell?

My dream, my dream for the town, for all of us.

It's about to be realized.

Don't you see?

I can finally relax, the pressure's off.

Why am I not getting through to you?

After all these years of acrimony we can be friends,

real friends again.

I think you'd jump for joy.

- Is that why I'm here again?

You know this could be funny if it wasn't so tragic.

Look what's become of us.

Look what's become of this town.

Everyone here is a Stepford wife

because of you Mark.

And now, because you say so,

we are going to turn the clock around.

Like nothing happened.

- Everything is going to be different.

Sheriff, I need some time here.

- Can't, waiting for a phone call

from the exterminator up at Korslava.

- Exterminator?

- Bugs.

- Oh sure, of course, fine.

- Nothing's going to be different.

You're still going to do exactly what you want.

- I come here with news that will bridge

decades of bitterness and I am confronted by...

I always knew you were jealous but I thought--

- Get off it!

I envied your money when we were kids

'cause I was too dumb to realize

all it built was a prison.

- You're jealous of what I've accomplished for the town.

Jealous of the legacy that I inherited and enhanced.

- Your dad gave the hookers toasters

and now you give the parlor girls Corvettes.

You call that an improvement?

You've done nothing but narcotize this town.

You've hurt a lot of people, Mark.

- I never meant to, my vision was global in nature.

One or two individuals--

- That's like asking aside from that Jackie,

how'd you like Dallas?

- That's grossly unfair, Ed.

- That's the truth!

- And I suppose you've done poorly.

- Knock knock who's there?

Rogo the town joke?

That's what you've done to me.

- Whatever I have done to you,

I have already made up for it.

I will be your friend forever,

and when I finally open this cell

all marks on the slate, both plus and minus are wiped away.

We will start again.

- You can't forgive yourself.

Forgiveness has to be given, Mark.

- Take care of my friend and don't forget his dinner.

(gentle piano music)

- I've been through this entire place.

Every room Volchek uses is bugged,

but if I know him the deal will take place

in the room with the hospital model.

I'll be wired too, uncle.

- You met Zimbrik yet?

- [Frank] Not until dinner tonight.

- Agents from the state attorney general's office

will be monitoring you.

You give the word, they make the bust.

- Mkay, the word.

The word is appreciable.

Appreciable, appreciable is the word you got it?

- Yeah we got it Frank.

Listen you could do this one in the dark.

- Oh uncle, I feel so rusty.

First time in a long time Vinnie's not the

guy on the other end of the rope.

- We'll find him. - Yeah.

- Don't worry Frank.

We'll all pull the rope.

- Thank you uncle.

- Three generations of Volcheks have frozen the town stiff.

- What are you whining about?

People got jobs, a parade on the fourth,

stuff you can count on from the cradle to the grave.

- But people have to have a chance

to learn to think for themselves, to make mistakes.

I don't care how misguided they are.

That's the tradition we don't have.

- Tell me something, Rogo.

What are the odds of Volchek relocating

to Houston or Veracruz?

- What do you mean?

- Well, maybe it's Mussolini time.

Turn 'em upside down, pop him.

- No, no no you've got it all wrong.

Mark is not a bad man.

You get that thought right out of your head.

You just don't know him.

His old man's a son of a bitch though.

Raised Mark so firmly pressed under his thumb,

he didn't have a chance.

But I tell ya when he went away to college,

he positively bloomed.

He found out he could dream, he had ideals.

And he came back from college

and the old man crushed him.

Squash, splat.

No more ideals.

No more dreams.

You just don't know Mark.

- It's wonderful having so many of my friends together.

It's like Christmas, and Helmut is our Chris Kringle.

Please sample our poor fare.

Oh not at all, looks delicious.

Are you not joining us baron?

Just a little brandy, I have already dined.

- [Narrator] That will be all for now my lord.

- [Narrator] Robert, Sir Robert, do tell us

what's been happening on the London stage.

- I produced a play once.

I financed an off off Broadway play when I was in college.

Lacey was there.

- He was a young, gifted writer brimming with angst

and we believed in him.

- Opening night, the lead actor

disappeared to do a two part Kojak and I lost my shirt.

But spiritually it was the right thing to do,

wasn't it McPike?

McPike.

- Hm?

Mm, mhmm.

- Thank you.

(phone rings)

What?

- LoCocco, bring the bag. - I'm on my way.

- Wait, how's Rogo?

- He's a trooper.

(laughing)

- Hurry, Helmut's getting sleepy.

How is everything?

- Well that's the point, you shouldn't see him.

- I'm feeling better about this already.

When the money gets here, if you feel I should proceed

give me a signal, a word or something.

- How about appreciable?

- I want to be civilized about this,

but I don't want to get screwed.

He is from Seattle.

- Rogo?

You beeped me sheriff?

- I gotta run something up to Korslava.

Boss forgot his wallet.

Want you to keep an eye on the prisoner.

Let him go in 10 minutes. - Sir?

Yes sir, 10 minutes.

(somber music)

(sighs)

- The Ave Memorial Hospital

will be the jewel in the Volchek crown.

But it's not just the hospital is it?

It's a bosom, a big,

bountiful, life sustaining bosom

upon which the people of Lynchborough will someday suckle.

No, it's a battleground.

- Maybe you should give me what I came for

so I can take this poor, tired creature home.

- Ladies, we need a few moments.

Make yourselves at home.

- What about him?

- Spiritual counsel, Helmut

or perhaps you folks from Seattle

feel you're above that sort of thing.

- Humor me, Mark.

- Listen, I'll be in the kitchen.

Call me if you need me.

- Now I am as anxious as you are to get on with this,

but I have to be careful.

Now do you have the money? - It's coming.

When do I get my license?

- 48 hours after I get the money, you get the license.

You should be able to break ground at the end of next week.

- I need that.

- Tell him it's a gift from the people of Lynchborough.

- Yeah I know.

I thought you might be waiting for this.

A gift from the people of Lynchborough.

I've grown an appreciable amount in your eyes.

- From the people of Lynchborough, we thank you.

- State attorney general's office.

- Sheriff, are these men with you?

- No, but unless they have the proper documentation

I intend to shoot them for trespassing.

- This is a warrant issued by

state superior court justice Howell.

- Warrant to arrest...

Well this only names the hornytoad.

This says nothing about Mr. Volchek.

- Mr. Zimbrik is under investigation for conspiracy

to misappropriate state licenses.

Mr Volchek is suspected of duplicity.

- On what basis?

Conspiracy to share with an elected official

a token of the town's appreciation?

Ice doesn't get any thinner.

Better take what you got, and don't be greedy.

- But what about my license?

What the hell is going on?

How did those men get here?

My hospital, my money, where's my money?

- Relax Warbucks.

McPike says you're bacon and you're squealing

about a lousy 200 grand?

We saw those flatheads sneaking around the bushes

and we figured your boy Helmut was being tailed

so he sent me out to the blazer to get something heavy.

A thank you would be nice.

- For what?

For keeping me out of jail?

My hospital is gone.

Who cares about freedom?

- Mark!

- Well you just interfered with a

federal investigation in a big way.

- Give him a minute to digest itself Frank.

- You know that is a very sick man.

He's probably sucking on a hunting rifle right now.

- You know where he went as well as I do,

out to that stone obsession he built for his male parentage.

He owes him an apology.

A big one.

- How could I be so stupid?

To let them in, let outsiders in?

You warned me, Dad.

You told me, you told me this would happen.

The river, the ice was melting.

Our dream of walking the river again is no more.

All my life, you've lived with my disappointments

and now in death

I disappoint you again.

Please don't hate me.

Don't hate me Daddy.

- Mark, you can't let go.

You can't give up.

- I failed them Julie, they've given me so much

and now I've blown my only chance

of giving them something in return.

- Don't say that.

You haven't failed them.

You're not a failure, Mark.

- He's the biggest failure I know.

Has everything money can buy, except friendship.

- Oh go ahead Eddie, tell me what's wrong with my life.

In addition to being insightful

it should offer a much needed laugh or two.

- What the hell is this place?

- It's the big chill.

- Your grandpapa Asmar.

And there's your dad Harvard.

Empty.

Mark?

Mark, what have you done to your folks?

- Nothing you'd understand, nor does it matter now.

- You can't give up hope, Mark.

- Hope for what?

To bring them back to life?

- If he doesn't have hope, he has nothing

'cause that's what you've left him Rogo!

You and your so-called friends!

- I don't want to hear about friendship from you.

Mark and I grew up together.

The difference is we played as kids,

you treat him like one.

- You can't arrest this guy, you don't know who he is.

- That is not your decision.

- He's weird, but he's not dangerous.

You pull him out of Lynchborough now

and this town will be swallowed up

by the first corporate raider that smells blood.

- Death is a very misunderstood phenomenon.

It can be beaten with time, with money.

- You sick bastard, you believe that.

What's happened to you?

- What's happened to you, Ed Rogosheske, the town crier?

The sky is falling, everything sucks,

I've ruined Lynchborough!

- I was just trying to do what's right for the town.

- What's right for the town is pre-destined.

It's halfwits and selfish people

who want a Volchek at the wheel.

They don't give a damn about his needs

or even who he is.

- I know who he is, at least I thought I did.

The date of my accident.

You had this made for me?

You didn't think I was going to survive the accident?

I'm alive Mark, this contraption's a joke!

- It's not a joke, Ed.

It's your arm and leg.

(sighs) - Damn.

- Cryonically preserved at great expense

'til modern medicine catches up with our dreams

and makes you whole again.

That's friendship, Eddie.

- I don't want my limbs, I don't want 'em back!

I don't want my limbs back, I've made my adjustments!

- Rogo!

- I want my friend back!

I just want my friend back.

(somber music)

(pleasant music)

- Well uncle, nothing's changed

except for the fact that Volchek trusts me more

now that I kept him out of prison.

- It was out of your control, Frank.

I mean his guy caught wind of it

and swapped the cash, what could you do?

- I don't know.

- What are you gonna do?

- I don't know.

I'll have to think about it,

but the fact of the matter is

if I bring him in on anything

this town will shrivel up and die.

I don't know that I'm prepared to do that.

- You want me there Frank?

- No, I'm all right.

And Vince?

- Absolutely nothing, buddy.

- Okay.

I'll be in touch.

- Is there anything I can do?

- No.

No.

McPike wants to go it alone.

(sighs)

And Vinnie, he's too good to be found.

- You're his lifeguard, Dan.

At some point instinct and intuition have to come into play.

Nobody knows him better than you.

Are you sure you don't know where he is?

(sighs)

(somber music)

(dramatic music)