Original subtitles

- [Man] Tonight on Wiseguy.

- Frank, your wife.

- What's the matter?

- Something has to be done!

They threatened to call the police.

- It's my father.

He's cantankerous, he's unruly, he's rude,

treats women like squeeze toys.

- Shove your concern!

- I'm sure we can reach a compromise.

- Compromise this!

- If you'll sign a release form in my office,

you can take him with you.

- When you gonna get back with your wife and son?

- [Man] I'll handle my own problems, Pop.

- I'm not leaving this house until you

get your life straightened out.

(exciting energetic music)

- And as these figures indicate,

deficits for the first half of the fiscal year

are grossly disproportionate with projections.

That must be addressed.

I would like this discussion to proceed in a

confabulatory manner.

All regional directors will present their budget reports

and fiscal requests for the third quarter.

As you can see, field expenditures are running rampant.

The confluence of escalating cost indices

relative to broad based intelligence operations

does not indicate an equitable return for dollars spent.

I allow an annual budget by comparison

with other intelligent services is a mere chicken feed.

(phone ringing)

- Paul Wilkerson.

Yeah, hang on.

Frank, your wife, she says it's urgent.

- Jenny, is it Drake, what's the matter?

- Something has to be done.

They've threatened to call the police.

(sighing)

- You know, first of all, Jenny,

I'm sure they're exaggerating.

Second of all, I'm in an important meeting.

- I am in the middle of something here too, Frank,

this is not fair to me.

- What the hell's that noise in the background?

- Will you for once put your family ahead of your work?

Take responsibility!

- Can we help?

- No, I'm sorry, sir, it's personal.

- Wait a minute.

- I gotta go, Vince.

Where the hell is the elevator?

- I'll go with you.

- Listen, I can handle it, all right.

- Well, Frank--

- Will you just back off me!

I'm sorry, Vince.

I'm sorry, I'm just up suffocating here.

- What's the matter with you?

- It's my father.

- Your father?

You told me your father was dead.

- No, my father isn't dead, he's alive,

he's very much alive.

(groaning)

- Ruin the surprise.

It's the surprise is anybody can eat this.

- Mr. McPike, that meal was prepared by

a trained nutritionist.

- Then feed it to a trained seal.

We want real food.

- [Man] Yeah!

- We still got teeth.

- Listen, you aging delinquent.

You are disrupting everyone's schedule.

This is lunch session.

- Lunch session, schnup session.

What are we, in diapers?

- [Man] Yeah.

- No offense, Gerdy.

(laughing)

- Come on, big Mike, chill out.

Open the doors.

- Would you eat this, Grudel?

- Not in a bet.

- [Man] Yeah, see.

- Don't we pay good money to live here?

- [Crowd] Yeah!

- Can't we eat real food whenever we want?

- [Crowd] Yeah!

- And sleep whenever we want.

- [Crowd] Yeah!

- And make love whenever we want.

- [Crowd] Yeah!

(cheering)

- What's he routing for?

- He just won't come out, Mr. Tower.

(light knocking)

- Mike, I wanna assure you, the staff understands

and sympathizes.

Your concerns are our concerns.

- Shove your concern.

- Okay, if you'll unlock the door,

I'm sure we can reach a compromise.

- Compromise this!

(crowd cheering)

We want food, we want food!

- [Crowd] We want food, we want food!

We want food, we want food!

We want food, we want food!

We want food!

- Pizzas, where they want it?

- Friendship Grove didn't authorize that order.

- I did, pay the man.

- It's 47.50 without tip.

- Take a hike, I'm not paying for it.

- Pay him, Tower, and I'll open the doors.

- No way!

- We want pizza!

- [Crowd] We want pizza, we want pizza!

We want pizza, we want pizza!

We want pizza, we want pizza!

(sirens ringing)

- All right, I'll be back in a minute.

- Frank.

- I can handle it.

- I pay 2,000 a month and when the going gets rough,

you call the cops.

It's the police state.

Why did you call him?

- Open the door.

(groaning)

- Are you the police?

- No, he's not the cop, he's a FED.

(laughing)

And the best a guy could do for a son.

It's about time you came to visit the old man, huh.

- He has your eyes.

- Yeah, all four of them.

- Pop, you wanna sit down while I sort this out?

(laughing)

- Francis here likes to give orders.

- I'm Nelson Tower, Chief Administrator here

at Friendship Grove.

Can we speak privately?

- I'm not leaving until somebody pays for these pies.

- How much you say the pizzas cost?

- 47.50 plus tip.

- I got it, it's worth every penny.

I'm a little short, son.

(grunting)

- End the riot.

- If you'll sign a release form in my office,

you can take him with you.

- Release form?

You think you could stay out of trouble for five minutes

while I take care of this?

You mean to tell me that this is about pizza?

I mean, I thought people were pretty much

on their own here.

- A piece of pizza's not as benign as it appears.

Your father is clearly able to handle

this kind of a diet, but not all of our residents

are so lucky.

Their digestive systems are in a phase of deterioration.

Something as harmless as a slice of pepperoni

can accelerate that process.

- All right look, I will talk to him.

I promise there won't be anymore pizza riots.

- I wish it were so simple.

I've been reading your father's records

at the other facilities that he stayed in.

The pattern of behavior is the same,

only now it's getting worse.

- What do you mean?

- He's harassing the female population.

- You mean...

Well, a little sexual activity at his age,

I mean, it's a healthy thing, isn't it?

- Many of our women are extremely vulnerable,

recent widows, all alone in the world,

they crave affection.

Your father is preying on them.

- Do the women complain?

I'm sorry.

- That's not the major problem.

He disappears for days at a time.

He's free to come and go as he wants, of course,

but we're still responsible for him.

And he sets a bad example.

- Oh, that's business as usual.

- Mr. McPike, there is a nine month waiting list

to get into Friendship Grove.

Your father does not need the service we provide.

But clearly, he doesn't want to live alone.

- I'm his only family.

Sometimes I work 24 hours a day, my job takes me out

of town for weeks at a time.

- The world moves too fast,

there's not enough time,

that's why we have a nine month waiting list.

In any event, we're not equipped to handle him.

I'm sorry.

- Some old dude, I'm gonna miss his wildness.

Life will be easier without him.

- Yeah, easier for who?

- Tonight I gotta pay the price of those pizza pies.

Juggling bed pans and (mumbles), gonna get ugly.

- Where is he?

- Saying his goodbyes.

- You take care of yourself.

- Shrewsbury's not the end of the world,

right around the corner from the bread bank.

- Huh?

- It's real simple.

Just hop down 35, you'll find it.

- Find what, Adele?

- My daughter's house, she's taking me in.

- The one you hate?

- (mumbles) who breeds contempt,

but she's the only one who can do my hair right.

So, come see me.

- It's the last of his things.

- What am I gonna do with this weed?

Let's hit the road.

(engine revving)

- Ah, he's sleeping like a baby.

If he can't stand all those rules,

why doesn't he just live alone?

(laughing)

- Who's he gonna torment?

You know, three years ago, he sold everything he had

and checked into an old age home.

Oh, thank god I'm off the hook.

Now I'm in hell.

- He looks pretty calm right now.

- Yeah, you give him a few miles.

This isn't nothing new, Vince.

The man has an authority problem.

He's gone through a few dozen careers in a lifetime,

railroad man, wildcat driller, worked on a tugboat,

even had a trucking company one time,

went up against the union, almost got our house burnt down.

- Jack of all trades, master of none, right?

- Oh no, master of all trades.

That's why he won't listen to anybody.

Big Mike McPike.

Living with big Mike was like living in a bowling alley.

He'd take issue with anything just to start an argument.

Belligerent, he's cantankerous, he's unruly,

he's rude, treats women like squeeze toys,

meaner than a snake.

Yeah, he's one hell of a guy.

- Hey, you can't just throw the guy out in

the street, Frank.

(grunting)

I'll tell you what, I'll help you find a place for him.

- No.

- [Vince] I got the time.

- No, it's my problem, I'll take care of it.

- Why don't you let him bunk with you for a while?

You hate living alone, how much space could he take up?

- My old man fills up a room pretty damn quick.

Vince, you and I didn't grow up the same way.

With you, everything's family, it's hugs, it's kisses,

you go over to mama's house for sauce on Sundays.

I didn't have that, I wish I had that,

I wish I had just one little bit of that.

But I didn't, not even close.

And the reason for that is asleep there in the backseat.

- [Mike] Where am I?

- You're in my car, pop.

- Who's this guy?

- This is my friend, Vince, you met him.

- How you doing?

- Like a (mumbles).

- Dad! (laughing)

- Frances ever arrest you?

- Every chance he gets.

- Don't encourage him.

- Where are we going?

- You're gonna stay with me for a few days.

- He's staying too?

- No, Vince is not staying.

We're taking him to the train station.

(groaning)

- It's too bad you (mumbles).

At least he was, he was fun.

This isn't your house.

- You never been here before, dad.

- Where's the boy, asleep?

Jenny?

Wake them up, I'd like to see everybody!

- Jenny and I are not together anymore.

- What the hell does that mean?

- That means we're separated.

It's a long involved story and frankly,

it's none of your business.

- [Mike] What'd you do, run her off?

- I don't wanna go into it, Pop.

- How long has it been?

- OH, 15 months, two weeks, give or take a couple days.

Not that it bothers me.

- How come this is the first time I'm hearing about it?

- It's my family, I'll take care of it.

- How's the boy?

- Drake's a good kid, he rolls with the punches

the best he can.

- That's nothing to be proud of.

- You know, not everybody rolls along their life

like you do, pop, some people aren't afraid

to stop and face the music.

- I've never been afraid of anything in my life.

- No, god forbid.

No, no thanks.

Listen, we have a big day tomorrow.

What do you say I show you your room?

- How could you let a great girl like

that get away from you?

I knew this was gonna happen!

It's a damn full of yourself with that job of yours.

What are you doing, god's work?

- You know, just this one time,

let's accept the fact that you don't know

what the hell you're talking about, and let it go at that.

It's too late for this conversation in more ways than one.

- Jenny was the cutest thing you ever brought home.

She loved you to pieces.

Not that I ever could figure out why!

- All right, you can take the bed.

The hangers are in the closet.

- I wanna know what happened.

- Why dad, so you can make some more absurd accusations?

- So, I can do something to help get her back for you.

- That's not possible, dad, even for the invincible.

- 43 years old and I'm still fixing your messes.

- 44.

- That girl knew how to have a good time

and you broke her spirit.

- The bedroom gets cold at night.

- I don't want your bedroom, the floor's good enough for me.

- Yeah, well, not for your back.

- My back's the strongest thing in this house.

- Uh.

Yeah, pop.

You got the back, I got the spine.

- You could've learned a thing or two from that girl.

- Life is not all fun and games.

- No, and it's no damn master thesis either.

You complicate everything!

- Leave me alone.

- She knew how to let her hair down and enjoy life,

and you ran her off!

- She is an alcoholic, you stupid bastard!

The woman almost died!

(slow solemn music)

- Damn it, I'm your father, I could've helped.

- What, dad?

What could you have done that I didn't try?

She was sick.

- Not Jenny.

- Yeah, Jenny, sweet, adorable Jenny.

She crawled into a bottle and she wouldn't come out

for anyone, not for me, not for her son,

and for damn sure not mile a minute

indestructible Mike McPike.

Let me tell you something, the only thing that saved her

was a liver transplant and I had to beg her to have it.

She wanted to die, dad, she welcomed it.

And when she got back on her feet again, she turned me out.

She had a new liver, a new life,

and too much resentment for me.

I put my job, I put everything I believed in on the line

to save her and she turned me out.

And it eats at me, dad, it eats at me.

It eats at me every minute of everyday.

But there you are.

(soft slow music)

(sizzling)

- Burn you some?

- No.

- What, are you worried about your arteries?

- I just want cereal.

- I think you're worried about your arteries.

I've been eating the same breakfast for 70 odd years

and I'm as healthy as a horse.

- Yes, dad.

- [Mike] You're out of beer.

- Yup.

- That looks real tasty if you're a damn barn animal.

(grunting)

- Look pop, we're gonna be living together for a while.

- I wanna be out of here as soon as I can.

- Yeah right, well right now you're here.

What do you say we start over again?

I'm sorry about last night.

- What are you doing about getting back with Jenny?

- That case is closed, I don't wanna talk about it anymore.

Besides, we're talking about your life.

What do you wanna do?

- I thought we drive down to Atlantic City

and take in a couple of casinos and see a show.

Maybe Vinny would like to tag along?

- No, no, I'm going to take a couple days off work

so I can get you relocated.

We don't have the time, we have to move fast.

- Oh, crime would be running rampant in the eastern seaboard

because I need a home.

- I made a list of homes that we can call after breakfast.

- You know what's wrong with you, you're a control freak,

that's why you're a cop.

You like to tell people how to live.

That's why your wife booted your ass.

- We're talking about finding you a place to live.

- I'll find my own damn place to live.

What I wanna know is when you're going to get

back with your wife and son.

- I'll handle my own problems, pop.

- I can handle my own problems.

When you gonna dump that holier than thou malarkey?

That sanctimonious attitude is what's got you

living alone here, in Shrewsbury.

- What are you, an expert?

Why should I listen to anything you say?

Your track record with relationships flat out sucks!

- Could be.

But I'm not leaving this house until you

get your life straightened out.

(soft jazzy music)

(knocking)

- It's about time.

- Hi, Frank.

- Vince.

- What's the matter with you, Frank, you look like a wreck?

- I am a wreck.

Now listen, stay in the house,

don't let him out of your sight.

- Okay.

What'd Jenny say?

- The Wonder Woman can spare me a moment of

her precious time if I come now.

- No problem.

- Vince, don't let him know you're watching him.

- Frank, Frank, that's what I do, remember?

- I'm ready when you...

Oh, hey, all right, now we're the Three Musketeers again.

- I'll be back in a little while.

- I thought we were going out.

- We will, pop, we'll go out later.

- I'll see you later, Frank.

- Yeah.

- How you been, Mike?

What is this for?

- That's what they pay babysitters now a days.

You're relieved of your duty.

- What you talking about babysitting,

I'm here to watch a football game.

- Yeah, where did you come from, where do you live?

- Brooklyn.

- You don't have TV's in Brooklyn?

You're really gonna waste the afternoon

watching the boob tube?

- Hey, it's gonna be a great game.

- So we oughta watch it in a bar.

- Frank wants us to wait here.

- You Frank's yes man?

- Look, it will be great, we'll watch the game,

we'll get some Chinese food at half time.

- Gee, let's live it up.

(knocking)

- Yes, may I help you?

- Who are you?

- I'm Wade, I work here.

- Doing what?

- I specialize in the preparation of Japanese

and American Indian cuisine.

Can I ask who you are?

- Oh yeah, sure.

(grinding)

Hi, Jenny!

- Hi, Frank, what do you wanna talk to me about?

- You think we could talk outside?

- I can't leave this little congeal.

- I need to talk to you alone.

- All right, just let me finish this.

Wait for me outside, you're in the way.

(grinding)

- You call that hitting?

They play they got hernias.

- What are you talking about,

they're still scraping a guy off the turf.

- It's nothing compared to the players in my day.

Sam Huff, Ray Nitschke.

They played like murderers out on parole.

- They wouldn't even make the first cut today.

- Well, your generation's a bunch of prima donnas.

- The athletes today are scientifically trained,

there's no comparison, they're bigger,

they're stronger, they're faster.

- No comparison is right.

Today they get multimillion dollar contracts

and go on the disable list every time they

sprain a little pinky.

They should be wearing miniskirts.

- Well, it's almost halftime, I'll order our lunch.

- Ah, you see, that's what's wrong with today's youth.

They want everything handed to them.

Get all the stimulation they need transmitted

into their homes instead of living a life of their own.

Look at this, two healthy men sitting here,

watching other men doing.

- We are not going out.

GO ahead, have another beer.

- I got you by what, 40 years?

- [Vince] I'll order lunch now.

- I'm still (mumbles) than you are.

- All right, Mike, whatever you say.

- I can prove it.

- Forget it.

- What about a, a little test of strength, huh?

- What the hell are you doing?

- All you gotta do is pull my head off the floor

far enough to make the quarter slide off.

- What, are you kidding me?

- I got 50 bucks says you can't do it.

- Mike, I don't want your money.

- If you win, we watch the second half.

I win, you take me to lunch.

- [Vince] Where?

- Someplace close.

- Just out to lunch, right?

- One hours tops, we'll be back before

Francis knows a thing.

I gotta get out of this place.

- All right, fine, fine.

(groaning)

All right, this time for sure.

- It could use another coat of weatherproof in here.

- Yeah, it's on Drake's list of chores.

- Good.

It was a big help when we built it.

So, I see you've finally found what the room

with the oven is for, huh?

- Not that there was ever anyone to cook for.

You know, I realize that the alcohol was

really blinding my senses.

I haven't had this much energy in years.

Business is great and everything's falling into place.

- Well, that's just peachy.

- Yeah, it is, and I'd like to keep it that way.

- All right.

You just (mumbles) to give me a moment of your time,

I'll tell you what I have to say and

then you can get right back to it.

Now, Big Mike is staying with me until

I can find him a new home.

- And?

- And I'm getting to it.

And he's got it in his mind that my life is

messed up because we're separated.

He's not gonna leave until we're back together again.

So I thought that if it appeared a reconciliation

were taking place--

- Frank!

- You know what, I would rather crawl across broken glass

than ask you for anything.

But anything short of bloodshed,

I don't know how to get him out of my house!

- I can't lie like that.

Half of my life was a charade, Frank.

I speak from experience, delusions don't help anyone.

- Let me tell you something, it his delusion,

it is not my delusion.

He thinks he can help us, his whole life he's diluted

himself into thinking he has the Midas touch,

that he can swoop down like the conquering hero

and make everything all right again.

He can't fix us, Jenny, you know it,

and believe me, I know it.

The problem is he doesn't!

- Jen!

- Will you let me tell you something,

you are in my kitchen, I paid for that kitchen!

- Cream or half and half for the base?

- Half and Half is great, it's great.

I gotta go.

- Jenny!

Please.

Here's one dinner, I am not asking you for the world.

- One dinner.

(playful music)

- Hey, cutie.

- Mike, why don't we order some lunch, huh?

- Huh?

Yeah, sure, what about a pitcher of beer.

(lighthearted music)

- I thought you were broke.

- Emergency reserve.

- Why don't you ease up on the cash?

- I believe in supporting the odds.

- How about dancing some of that over this way.

- Amateur night's Thursday, cowboy.

- She knows a good time when she sees it.

- Why don't you take the old man back

to the nursing home?

- Hey, why don't you watch your mouth.

- You keep talking like that and

you won't make it to the golden ears.

- He's not afraid of you, candy asses.

- Take your best shot!

- Let's just calm down, okay.

Mike, let's get the hell out of here, huh.

Come on, it's not worth it.

- No kid, you're right, it's not.

It's all we got.

(people talking)

(glass clanking)

- Vince!

- Thanks a lot, Frank.

- He got you with the quarter trick, didn't he?

Dad, Drake, dinner's ready.

- Hey, this looks wonderful, kid, as always.

I'm hungry as a bear.

(laughing)

- Well, there's plenty, Mike, so don't be shy.

- I love home cooked food.

- See you soon, grandpa.

- You can count on it, Pal.

- Wait a second, where are you going?

- I'm going to the rink with the guys.

- No, you're not sport shoes, you come over here

and sit down and eat dinner with your grandfather.

- Hey, come on, let him go.

A bunch of old folks sitting around talking,

what kind of fun is that for a kid?

- Dad.

- Uh.

- Let him go.

Let him see his old pals.

- Just be home early.

- I will.

- [Mike] I hope this wasn't a lot of work.

- No trouble at all.

- She's one in a million, Frank.

- One in a million, dad, I've always said that.

- So.

When you two gonna get back together, huh?

- Well, Mike, we have a lot of things to work through,

we're just taking it one step at a time.

- Yeah, that's the way to do it.

- As long as there's progress.

- There's progress.

- [Mike] Well, when you gonna start moving back in?

- Soon.

- [Mike] How soon?

- Soon, it's hard to put a date on a thing like that, dad.

Peas?

- Month or two months?

- Mike--

- Don't say it, kids, I know lip service when I hear it.

This dinner's a sham.

Not that I don't appreciate a good meal.

- Hey, don't blame her, it was my idea.

- I figured that.

- Yeah, it was a scam, dad, but see,

we did it for you.

You know, you drop in my lap out of one of your

disappearing acts and you expect everything

to be just the way you remembered it.

- I'm a kid, you have to lie to me?

- No, you see the world goes on, things change.

Some things get better, some things get worse.

Jenny, we got worse.

We don't need your prodding, your coaching,

or holding me hostage in my house.

- Frank.

- No, don't Frank me.

You know, I'm really tired of taking it on the chin

and for trying to do what's right.

- What's right according to you.

- I am not the sole creator of crap in this house.

For 19 years you leaned on me, and I let you do it,

because everything you did led me to believe

that's what you wanted.

- I don't think this is the time.

- It is the time!

The only time we talk is when I drop Drake off

or pick him up.

- I agreed to have dinner, not cater your epiphany.

- New concepts catering.

The only new concept here is that you're sober.

- Hey!

- I don't need this, my life works now!

- You just traded one compulsion for another.

- Quit jumping on her!

- You stay out of this!

- I'm still your father.

- You were a booming voice that came and went

with the prevailing wind.

- You and your mother always had food on the table

and clothes on your back.

- So, paying the light bill fulfills

your responsibilities, pop?

- [Mike] You turned out all right.

- No, no, I'm not.

You look at me, I'm a mess, I'm 44 years old,

my wife doesn't have time, my son doesn't respect me,

and I just have an annoying acquaintance with my father.

- You should thank your lucky stars.

I didn't want you to turn out like me,

bouncing around, jumping from job to job.

- You save the confession, after 40 years,

I don't give a damn.

- Well, you better give a damn, boy.

You're not a quitter, you never were!

You two still have time.

- I don't want time, I didn't quit my marriage, Jenny,

and I'm tired of groveling trying to save it.

I admit defeat.

- All right, all right, it's my fault.

I am the one who walked, I'm the reason you guys

are yelling at each other.

Now, can we eat this please?

- He must've done something wrong to lose

a good woman like you.

- You were a good provider, Frank,

and you are a good father.

I don't wanna ever hear you say that about

Drake again, he worships the ground you walk on.

The breakdown was between you and me!

Drake is an innocent who is not siding with anyone.

- Where are you going?

- This talk's going nowhere, I'm not going with it.

- Dad!

- I'll be out in the car when you're done.

- Oh, go on, pop, quitting again.

- I'm not quitting, I'm defeated.

You guys are hopeless.

- Frank, Drake loves you.

You guys have a lot of years to work out

what's wrong between you.

And it's not too late for you and your father either.

- No.

On that one, I do admit defeat.

(slow sad music)

(alarm ringing)

(coughing)

Dad.

Dad!

I wanna get going before traffic gets bad.

All right, let's go.

Rise and shine.

Dad!

(slow intriguing music)

Dad!

Jenny, it's Frank, have you seen dad?

- No, what's wrong?

- I don't know, he must've gone out early this morning.

- Well, he hasn't shown up here.

- All right, if you hear from him, give me a call.

- I will, you too.

- Thank you.

(slow solemn music)

Pop. (groaning)

Another disappearing act.

(phone ringing)

Hello.

Hello?

- It's bad luck I remember him mentioning your name

and where you lived.

- I'm sorry for the inconvenience, Ms. Tildshaw.

- I just hope your father's all right.

He rang the doorbell, when I answered the door,

he didn't recognize me at all.

Wouldn't even come in the house.

I didn't wake him up, I thought as long as he's sleeping.

- I appreciate the phone call.

Pop.

Pop.

- What the hell you doing here?

- Give me your hand.

Come on, come on.

Watch your coat.

- Thanks.

- How long's this been going on?

- You're making too much of it.

- You end up 40 miles away, don't know how you got there

and I'm making too much out of it.

How long, dad?

- Mmm, off and on for a while now.

You happy?

- What happens, do you get confused, do you black out?

- Uh, I just, I just start out in one direction

and end up in the other.

I never stopped to examine it.

- Maybe you should.

- Why, I know what it is, I'm getting old.

- Well, maybe it's not that simple.

Maybe there's something you could do,

you could see a specialist.

- I don't need a doctor to tell me what it is,

I know what it is.

It's the beginning of the end,

and the end is where we're all headed.

I'm all right.

- Maybe you should stay with me for a while.

(laughing)

- We'll end up killing each other.

- Yeah, we probably would.

I don't want anything to happen to you.

You're my dad.

- I, I think we should find me a place.

Don't you, Frank?

I can be a hell of a lot of work.

- We could get somebody to come in.

- Frank, it's better this way.

You've got your life, such as it is,

I've got mine.

I operate better in my own environment

with a ratio of ladies is more in my favor.

Don't smile, Frank, I hate it when you do that.

Look at this place, how do you expect me to live

in a dump like this?

- Quietly, I hope.

Dad, that should just about do it.

- The closet's too small.

- The place shows promise.

- It's a hell hole like the rest of the traps.

Like throwing money away.

- Well, at least you won't be living

halfway across the state.

- Not that I've ever been invited.

- Dad, you are invited anytime you would like to come.

Just give me a little warning.

- Mr. McPike?

- Yes?

- Yes?

I believe she's referring to me, Francis.

- You must be the new neighbor.

I'm Georgia, I'm right nextdoor.

- Yeah, Michael McPike.

If you're an example of the scenery around here,

I've obviously made a very good decision.

- Stop by sometime.

- I hate it when they throw themselves at me.

- Yes, sir.

Well dad.

(slow peaceful music)

- Francis.

- You take care of yourself.

- Yeah.

You save it, Francis, I'm not dying.

(slow sad music)

You get out of here before you give me indigestion.

- I just wanted to call and thank you for your help.

- [Jenny] It's okay, Frank.

How's he doing?

- Well, he's settled, as much as that's possible.

- Does he like his new home?

- Oh, you know, too many rules,

food's lousy, not enough women.

He's in his element.

(laughing)

- Oh, I'm glad it worked out,

must be nice to have things back to normal, huh?

- Yeah.

And thank you for dinner.

I'll talk to you soon.

- Okay.

- What $134?

- [Woman] Hi, sailor, I'm glad you called.

We're gonna have fun.

I'm naked, are you?

(light playful music)

(exciting dramatic music)

(inspirational music)