Original subtitles

[announcer] This just in:

The world is in turmoil as a newcomer going by the name of Victor,

or Vector, is claiming the title of the world's best bad guy.

- More after the break. - [screams]

[announcer] Feeling heavy?

[chuckles]

Lighten up with Dr. Nefario's Anti Gravity Serum.

[screams]

[reporter 1] Satellites are picking up some unusual activity

in the higher atmosphere.

[whimpers, screams]

[reporter 2] Ladies and gentlemen, the moon has been stolen.

[reporter 1] Hold on.

We're learning just now that the thief is trying to get away.

[citizen] ls there no one to stop him?

[reporter 3] It appears that things are about to reach a dramatic conclusion

for that dork-looking, pajama-wearing

- very bad bad guy. - [screaming]

[reporter 4] After an incredible battle between not good and even worse,

the moon is thankfully back in its place.

All is well that ends well. But where is Vector now?

And what's next on his despicable agenda?

[whirs, dings]

Oh, poop.

["Papa Loves Mambo" instrumental playing]

Okay. No, yeah, this is, uh-- This is cool.

This is, uh-- This is totally what I planned.

Ha!

[screams]

I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die!

Over here. Can anyone hear me? Help me.

[grunts] Huh?

Ah! Ha!

If I can jump high enough, maybe I can just--

[grunts]

[straining, grunting]

It's-- It's-- It's-- It's working!

[laughing]

[grunting]

- Huh? - [chattering in Minionese]

Huh?

[speaking Minionese]

- No. No, no, no, no. - [exclaiming]

Get out of the way. Move.

- [laughs, speaking Minionese] - Move-- Not the butt. [groans]

- [grunting] - [grunting, screams]

[both screaming]

Oh.

[both screaming]

[both groan]

- [Vector groans] - [grunts]

[chuckling, speaking Minionese]

Hey, yellow, uh, kid.

You wouldn't happen to know how to get out of here, would you?

[speaking Minionese]

Oh, wow. You're useless.

Go away! I have work to do.

[speaking Minionese]

[groans] Leave me alone. Scram.

Here, go play.

- [grunts] - Uh...

- Fetch! - Ah, fetch! Okay, okay, okay.

- [speaking Minionese] - Sheesh.

- [beeping] - [Vector] Huh?

Oh! Yes!

[panting]

- Yes! - [device crackling]

[laughing]

Maybe I can use this.

[thuds]

[screams]

You piece of junk. [gasps, groans]

[grunts] Okay, Vector, think.

No. Nope. Nah. Thank you.

Ha! Why didn't I think of it before?

- [clicks, hissing] - [laughs]

I'll be out of here in no time.

[grunting, gasps]

Adios, moon-chacho.

- [laughs] - [suit hisses]

[grunting]

[suit squeaking]

[screaming] Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

- [Vector grunting] - [chuckling]

Ow! Ow!

[grunts, groans]

[grunting]

Okay.

Time for the serious stuff. Where is it?

Nope. Yes!

The limb stretch 2.0.

Oh, yeah! [grunts]

[straining]

Bye, moon. You stink.

[screams]

Mm-hmm. [speaks Minionese]

[screams]

Mmm. Uh-huh. [speaks Minionese]

[continues screaming]

- [beeping] - [Vector screams]

[grunting]

[screams]

[screams]

[squeaks]

Ha! Whew.

[dings]

Ouch.

[groans]

[grunting]

[strains]

[laughing]

[beeping]

[beeps]

What?

Who designed this stupid moon?

[panting]

Cheese and crackers. Seriously?

Hi-yah!

[grunting]

[pickax continues thudding]

[grunts] Okay, you asked for it. Eat this.

[shuddering]

- [drilling continues] - [shuddering continues]

[screams, grunts]

Eat photons, you stupid rock.

Boom! [laughs]

[screams, groans]

[grunts] No, no, no, no.

[groaning] Please! Stop, I said-- No. Stop it.

[continues groaning]

[groan echoes]

[grunting]

[laughs]

Of course. Of course.

- Yes! - [dings]

- Vector, you're a genius. - [dinging]

Whoa! [grunts]

[laughing]

[speaking Minionese] Lashipa!

"Lashipa"?

Hey, go away. This is my ship, okay?

- If you wanna go back home, find your own. - [grunts] No. No, no. Lashipa.

- [phone ringing] - [sighs]

- Hello. [speaking Minionese] - [Minion speaking Minionese on phone]

[all laughing, cheering]

[speaking Minionese, laughs]

- [speaking Minionese] - Hmm?

[grunting]

Ha! Whoa!

[groaning]

[grunts]

[laughs]

[strains, groans]

[panting] Son of a rock.

[grunts]

[grunting]

[all exclaiming]

- [grunting] - [exclaiming continues]

[missiles clanking]

[speaking Minionese]

[all laughing]

[speaking Minionese]

[all laughing, cheering]

This is it. See you never, stinking rock.

Three, two, one, blast off!

[laughs]

Yes!

[laughing] Huh?

- [beeping] - [speaking Minionese]

[all screaming]

[screams] You piece of--

[screaming]

[all screaming]

[Vector screaming]

[all screaming]

[Vector screaming]

[all screaming]

[sighs]

Huh?

No, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No!

[whirs, dings]

[sobbing, inhales]

[speaking gibberish]

[screams] What are-- What are you?

[speaks gibberish]

I don't understand what you're saying. Go away, you martian dork.

Aw. [speaking gibberish]

Okay, Vector, think.

["Papa Loves Mambo" playing]

[speaking gibberish]

- [scoffs, speaking Minionese] - [speaking Minionese]

[all laughing]

- [laughter continues] - Huh?

- Bye-bye. - Bye-bye.

[speaking gibberish]

What?

No, no, no. No.

[all cheering]

[all sing "Papa Loves Mambo" melody]

[song ends]

Oh, poop.

["Papa Loves Mambo" playing]