Original subtitles

LOVE BIRDS a film by Dover Kosashvilli

Asaf Goldstien & Tai Talmon

Your lucky number is 3650.

Tamara!

Tamara!

Tamara!

Tamara?

I can be whoever you want me to be.

I'm looking for my wife.

I can be your wife.

You prefer another woman.

Your lucky number is 3650.

Excuse me?

Sir!

Your garden!

I prefer chocolates.

Or a book.

Sorry.

You're welcome.

Where are you?

Should I draw it for you?

It's not the right number.

Alon?

Alon, ruin this day and it's our last anniversary together.

Where's Tamara?

You need glasses.

Feel me up.

I'm not that kind of a guy.

You're his prototype.

It's my anniversary.

Congratulations!

All the best.

You got me all wet.

- Want to file a police complaint? - No.

- Wanna spank my bum? - I don't abuse women.

Spank me.

I don't want to.

Spank me!

I don't want to.

- Sorry. - Impotent.

Baby.

More.

In the middle, spank me in the middle.

You bring out the dirt in me.

I'm a wonderful cleaning woman.

Should I send you a tourist guide?

You're playing with fire.

I trust you...

Please leave.

Come here.

I'm waiting for my wife.

My husband doesn't excite me.

I'm no marriage counselor.

My home gets me down.

Renovate it.

I can't whitewash the truth.

The truth is not a sexual fantasy.

Everything is temporary and transient.

You'll have guilt feelings.

I'm ready to suffer for you.

- Get the hell out. - Use me.

Activate me.

What turns you on?

A kiss.

I don't kiss.

Love.

If it was your last request, what would you want me to do?

Rice with milk.

I'm not taking my shoes off.

You could at least take off your wedding ring.

Leave me alone.

What are you hiding over there?

I don't enjoy this.

Poor thing...

- Please don't do this. - Shhhhh...

It's not appropriate.

I'm married!

This is a one time offer.

It's a chance of a lifetime.

I can't get you out of my mind.

My husband is trying to get close to me.

Avoiding you is like avoiding death.

He dreamt I'm...

He dreamt I'm cheating on him.

I want to get a divorce.

I'm waiting for you at the Herods Hotel, room 3650.

You made me dizzy.

- May I come in? - I'm thirsty.

Are you expecting someone?

Is Tamara involved in what's going on here?

Of course.

Pshhhhh..

Pshhhhh..

I can't concentrate.

Don't think about me.

Piss in the water.

Does your husband know?

He'd think higher of me if he did.

Your husband must be a certified dupe.

I cheat on him with women too.

Which do you like best?

I cheat on him with couples too.

I wouldn't be relaxed if I were your husband.

Do you want a black woman?

Maybe in theory.

You want two black women?

You have a wild imagination.

Would this satisfy you?

The black woman did nothing for me.

You want revenge. You want blood.

Want a divorce.

Will that satisfy you?

I don't know.

If you were a man, I wouldn't have to give my ass to someone else.

Slut.

Good afternoon, you ordered a continental breakfast?

Hang on.

Continental breakfast?

Do you prefer something else?

Come in.

Bon appetit.

Add a 15 percent tip and charge the room for the meal.

I can't charge service to a credit card.

I paid cash for the suite.

I hope it's fresh.

I don't have change.

Pay me back some other time.

Thank you.

Did you bring extra honey?

I brought...

I brought you the food the way it was given to me.

Do you have a stiff neck?

I'm sensitive to esthetics.

It gets stuck in my mind like a ghost ship in a bottle.

Leave before you lose your tip.

Don't come near me.

Don't touch me!

Leave me alone, you're filthy!

I want to go home.

Do you need help?

Are you alone?

I'm expecting my wife.

Want a foursome?

Of course.

Move the towel a second.

I'm no Chippendale.

He's shy.

I'm not taking a risk.

Gimme a hint.

Standard.

He doesn't touch me.

Are you bisexual?

Not when there's a lady in the room.

Your place or ours?

I'm more into threesomes.

We'd be happy to indulge you.

You're not in my starting lineup.

I'm happy when you're happy.

You don't love me.

I married you.

He's hot.

Traitor!

That's the only way she gets wet.

Your eggs are getting cold.

Take her garden with you.

Bon appetit.

Get dressed.

Tell Tamara the truth.

Love Tamara.

- Now you say that. - I'm no adulterer.

You seem to have amnesia. You begged me to spank you.

Have pity on me.

Find yourself another sucker.

You're a fake.

I can't tell Tamara I got raped.

It's much more pleasant to pretend everything's alright.

- You pulled my pants down. - Now you're talking.

You forced me into.

Poor thing.

- Whore. - The ultimate whore.

- Yuval -

My daughter.

- My pretty girl. - Dad, can you take me from the ballet?

What about Dana's mom? It's her turn this week.

- Dana annoys me. - Everybody's annoying sometimes.

- Dad, pick me up from the ballet. - Go with annoying Dana.

I want you to take me to buy a present for Mom.

Draw her a nice picture and we'll write a beautiful card.

- Dad, I drew the picture a long time ago. - Great, Mom will be so pleased.

- Me and Mom bought you a present. - You're gonna waste all your money.

- I can be annoying too. - What do you want to get her?

Dad, if I knew I'd buy with Grandma.

Hi, Tova, how are you?

- Happy anniversary! - Thanks.

- Yuvali, what did you get me? - Bye, Dad.

She's got me wrapped around her finger.

You're a man.

- What's your husband like? - He's your copy.

- He can't stand you. - He has selective vision.

- Are you trying to hurt him? - I want to feel good.

The ultimate good.

An epiphany in hell.

- You're a rebel. - A super rebel.

What will become of you?

I'll get over the depression, then run and tell the girls.

This is the last and only time.

30 minutes ago you were running away and I'm still with you.

This is a fantasy.

I've never felt this way with other men.

Why do you keep doing this?

My shrink is traumatized by me.

Here's Tamara!

Sshhh..

Tell her she's disturbing your sleep.

- She's your wife. Tell her whatever you... - Sshhh...

Tell her I ran away after you begged me to spank your bum.

She won't believe me.

Help me.

I won't lie for you.

Get dressed.

I'm dead.

Me too.

I don't have any makeup on.

I prefer jumping in the pool.

Let's do rock, paper, scissors.

Rock, paper, scissors, the best out of two wins, one, two, three!

One, two, three!

One, two, three!

Shit!

Is this 3650?

A bottle of champagne, courtesy of the hotel.

Avoiding you is like avoiding death.

Tamara loves me.

Come on in, she's all heated up.

Where is she?

The hotel management asked that you fuck quietly.

We're distracting the orthodox women.

Where are your cigarettes?

In my bag.

Forget what you just saw. It's not for you, at least not right now.

I thought you don't smoke.

The last cigarette I smoked was 3650 days ago.

- You won't drag me into your paranoia. - It was at my wedding.

Get out before you activate the alarm.

That's expensive metal.

Keep it.

Is this your wedding ring?

I broke my wedding vows and betrayed my family's trust.

I seduced you. Throw me off the balcony.

I'm ridiculous.

You're really into the fantasy.

- This is from your lover. - You are my lover.

He'll get a divorce for you.

I'm not ready to get divorced yet.

You're smoking.

What's this?

"I can't get you out of my mind."

"Avoiding you is like avoiding death." These are text messages.

- Who's this? - He sent me the texts.

You're having an affair?

He sends me texts.

He brought the champagne.

I'll send him a text saying thank you.

- You cheat. - It brings the truth out of you.

Is he a pawn in our fantasy?

He's much more authentic than you.

I'm going home.

You invaded my privacy.

I thought you're different.

You're not worthy of a response.

There's no limit to what I'm willing to put up with for your fantasy.

I'm no idiot.

You ruined my fantasy.

Call me after you clean up the shit.

I have.

You ruined our lives.

Get undressed.

What are you getting at?

I'll fuck you in the bathroom

and dry your cloths.

Dry my cloths.

Psst...

Psst...

Hey dude.

Gimme a drag.

Dude, you're not a man. You neglected her.

Didn't think she'd cheat on me.

- Does she love me? - She gave me the horns.

Are you managing with the horns?

Don't hurt her.

Are you worried?

I forgave her.

You got small horns.

Don't worry, she'll make them grow.

You soft calf.

Excuse me, can I have a cigarette?

Hold on.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

Can I have one too?

Go ahead.

Thank you.

That's the first cigarette.

I can't handle the temptation.

I gave it up ten years ago.

We're attending a conference on the development of religious sites.

It's my wife's.

Come visit.

She made me grow horns.

Lust rears it's head even among the greatest believers.

The traitor undermines her main mission in life.

She cannot satisfy her Lust and sows despair around her.

God is subordinate to the laws of nature.

God is no beast controlled by hormones.

Why do you wear the costume?

I will pray that you be granted his grace.

This is my sacred place.

Divorce her.

This is desecration of family honor.

Corpses...

This fell out of your pants.

It's yours.

A gift from my grandmother. She asked my mother to give it to you today.

You're not giving it to me wholeheartedly.

Now you're humiliating my mother and my grandmother.

- You don't respect me. - It's from your daughter's grandma.

A mark of shame.

A warning sign.

I'll wear it when you wear your wedding ring.

Tell her you're not worthy of wearing her ring.

Did Tamara like the ring?

Malka, the ring is gorgeous.

You are the diamond of this family.

It's because I love your son.

My mother got it from her mother in law on her 10th anniversary.

I'm proud to be part of the family.

I thank God that Alon won you.

I'll make do with a small thank you from Alon.

Pinhas and I almost missed our 10th anniversary.

Malka caught me with her best girlfriend.

To this day she has the hots for him.

I hope Alon inherited your personality.

I'm making matching earrings for you for your next anniversary.

Pinhas, you always make me blush.

- Happy anniversary! - Thank you.

I didn't dry your clothes so you'd leave.

I'm sorry.

You don't give a shit about me.

- I trust you. - You over estimate yourself.

It's my hobby.

You're losing me.

That's up to you.

Soften up.

I will forgive you if you stop.

If I could stop, I wouldn't have started with it.

- Our daughters will find out. - I can't betray the girls.

You'll get used to it.

Stay away from me.

Moron.

I want to grow old with you.

I don't want our girls to have a stepfather.

No man will want you.

The girls have shoved us into a corner.

Leave our girls out of your filth.

They're robbing us of our life.

- Dude, she's right. - Go blow a horn.

What?

I'm not talking to you.

The girls finished us off once and for all.

Dude, you got a cigarette?

Gimme a drag.

This is a non smoking room.

I'll make a steak out of you.

Turn around, show us your ass.

What's with you?

I'm talking to him.

I hear you.

I wasn't thinking of cheating on you.

I don't blame you.

- I was mad at the girls for no reason. - Leave the girls out of your filth.

I trusted the girls to protect us.

I escaped to Champagne so I won't hurt them.

I hope you didn't make things" too hard on him.

I've made peace with my faults.

You're cheating on me for the girls.

For you too.

You're cheating on me for me and the girls.

I didn't hook up with your enemy.

The words self sacrifice suit you much better.

Be honest with me.

Let me have the girls and take anything you want.

No judge in the world would give you custody over the girls.

Alon?

- What? - Where are you going?

- To smash the bottle on Champagne's head. - Shock him with your appearance.

Happy anniversary!

Congratulations!

Congratulations!

"To Tamara and Alon, happy anniversary, from Daniella, Noa and Lilach."

Thank you.

They deserve a thank you for the suite too.

Thank you very much.

This is our second bottle today.

You came in the worst timing possible.

Alon.

Lilach.

We know.

Tamara told you?

Noa and Daniella could see it on me.

And Lilach introduced him to me. He's her brother.

You hate your sister in law?

I love my brother.

Did you tell them I'm frigid?

We'd devour you in a second.

My husband would slaughter me if I suggested open marriage to him.

Euro chic.

This is Israel.

You can choose any one of us.

I love Tamara.

I suggest you go for Daniella.

Champagne says she's the best.

How do you rank?

Lilach had her sights on you even before she set me up with Champagne.

You got someone besides Champagne?

I'm always open to suggestions.

Keep away from my wife.

You keep away from your friends.

I'm not an adulterer.

- This is delicious. - I don't want any.

Stay away from Meir.

Meir introduced us.

Meir is cheating on Hagi. I'm not here to educate Meir.

I'm not here to educate Lilach.

Lilach set you up with Champagne.

You're discriminating against Tamara.

I'm not Tamara's friend.

- I'm made of the exact same material as Meir. - Slut.

Be nice to your wife.

I'll let her know when there's room for her to join the guys.

In the meantime, let her enjoy the privileges that your friends have.

Look at her.

- Her breasts are real. - I don't think so.

Wanna bet?

She won't admit that her self-esteem is pumped up with silicone.

Touch them and see.

Be brave.

Think up some other stunt to clear your conscience.

I'm going to the lobby with Lilach and Noa.

Daniella?

I need the bed.

You can always regret.

Ask Lilach and Noa to escort you out.

Happy anniversary.

Did you do this yourself?

It's cedar.

Learn from your grandmother.

It's for your iPhone.

Ask Yuval to buy me the gift with Grandma.

It works on batteries.

Arik Einstein?

Arik Lavi.

"Did it Happen"?

"I'll Sing You a Song"?

Next time.

"In the Orchard"?

"Autumn Song".

Next time.

Trust me.

There are things I can't share with you.

Then don't do them.

Do you kiss Champagne?

- He gives great tongue. - Why did you stop kissing me?

You prefer the slut.

I'm a good girl.

Where's your ring?

- In the swimming pool. - I'm divorced.

I don't have a bathing suit.

I'm not having sex with you.

Room service.

Is Segev there?

Hold on. Segev...

- Hello. - Do you swim?

I hate drying myself.

My ring fell into the pool.

Bring it to me and you'll get double its value.

- Who is this? - A ghost ship.

- How much did you say it's worth? - The hoop alone is worth three hundred.

I make it without getting wet.

- Bring it to me and I'll give you thousand shekels. - Bye.

I'll dry your clothes.

Hey dude,

can I have a cigarette?

I feel bad for Tamara.

I can't tell her.

You're torturing her.

I'm afraid.

- You're in the same boat. - I'm innocent.

- You don't love her. - It will hurt her.

She's so guilt ridden.

She cheated on me.

- You better confess before she finds out. - We're both on the same boat.

Tell her and I'll go away.

I've gotten used to you.

A ghost ship.

Here comes the bride.

You shouldn't have invited her.

Why did I put on that show?

You're ruining your marriage.

This is our last chance to stay together.

Sshhh..

What're you doing here?

- I came to tear you to pieces. - Tamara is in the bathroom.

- Send her out for some ice cream. - It's our anniversary.

I'll hold the candle.

Are you following me? You invited me, room 3650.

Bye.

I got this from you.

She broke into my cellphone.

Poor thing.

She knows.

Happy anniversary.

Come on.

Let me know when you're free.

I'm always free for you.

- What do you want? - The usual.

- What do you want to hear? - You can play whatever you want.

- I love them big. - Get out.

Who was at the door?

Come here.

Where's the ring?

On the way.

You're free to go.

We got a weird package.

From who?

I thought it's from you.

Where is it?

In a safe place.

Show me.

Come here.

For the prettiest one.

Here's the package.

Good one.

I'm mad at you.

It's your package.

Why didn't you tell me?

I hoped you'd recover.

It gets worse.

Just an ass.

Nice to meet you, Merav.

I know you.

You're confusing me with someone else.

Do you know him?

Where did you get that?

You know him?

I took the picture.

- He's waiting for you in the lobby. - I don't recall setting up a meeting with him.

He wants you.

And I want you.

- Are you sleeping with him? - Of course.

- Since when? - Since 9th grade.

That's not what you told me.

That's Omer, my husband.

- Tamara is Lilach's best friend. - Who is Lilach?

Omer's sister.

Omer my husband?

Omer has two brothers.

Liar.

You never really cheated on me.

Too bad you found it out so soon.

Choose.

I abstain.

I abstain too.

You're disgusting.

Flow with me.

Get her out of here.

Try at least.

Take her and both of you get the hell out of here.

- I don't want to keep lying to you. - I'll help you.

- Do you want me? - No.

- Look at me. - You're naked.

Touch me.

Please, get your husband.

My husband's in bed with his mistress.

All men are shit.

Help me.

What's she like?

Sexy.

I'm a goner.

This is Merav.

Hi Merav.

- Make yourself comfortable. - I feel great.

- What's your name? - Segev.

You're wet.

- Loosen up. - I'm fine.

You look like a eunuch.

It's the cold, I was in the water for a...

long time.

How's he doing?

I took my contacts out before I got in the pool.

One ball is back.

- Took you a long time. - We have a big pool.

I'll ignore the fact that you were late.

Where's the ring?

Come get it.

The ring? You have it.

Maybe it came back on its own.

You're blind.

There are 4573 tiles in the pool.

The ring's in the pool.

In the pool...

It's not there.

Get outta here.

Tamara!

Tamara!

Did I hurt you?

Make yourself comfortable.

- Help him. - Don't touch me.

Come.

I'm going with Alon.

Don't forget to buy the present with Yuval.

Stop it.

Next time you'll find me in your bed with Meir.

I'm sorry.

- I understand. - I mean it.

That's okay, take a break.

It's over.

We'll talk when you come around.

Happy anniversary.

Ciao.

Thank you.

Don't mention it.

- Can I have your swimming suit? - I don't hang around naked.

- You took 1000 shekels for it. - This is a respectable hotel.

This is for the ring.

Happy anniversary.

Segev.

Thank you.

You won.

Actually, you gave me an appetite.

What you lose between us, you won't find elsewhere.

You don't love me.

We have a partnership.

I'm not your mother.

You're my wife.

That's not enough for me.

I don't want to know.

I'm not going to lie for you.

I'll handle the truth.

Don't touch me.

Don't believe him.

He's leading you on.

Alon'll keep cheating on you. He'll just be sneakier.

You're merely hurting yourself.

Trash remains trash.

He'll sell his soul to get laid.

Tamara!

Tamara!

Tamara!

What?

We're rich.

I found the ring.

Be careful with it.