Original subtitles

We're going to play tag.

And if you can grab hold of my horns within 10 days

then you'll be the winner.

The only real chance you have at catching me...

IS TO SAY YOU LOVE ME!

NOT ON YOUR LIFE DUMBASS!

You can handle a game of tag right?

You better win this!

The righteous never lose!

But who's the righteous one here...?

Bye my day bye my day

Hikari ni oborete

Bye my day bye my day

Soredemo mada inoru wa darling

(Darling darling dadadarling darling)

(Darling dadadadada)

Aishite o kurikaesu sore dake no hibi ga shiawase to shitta

Aimai na yoru no naka anata no tonari wa azayaka ni mieta

Doushitara ii no?

Doushiyou mo nai kedo

Doushite shimau no?

Donna yoru demo

Itsuka owari ga yattekuru koto

Hajime kara wakatteta

Ah bye my day bye my day

Hikari ni oborete

Bye my day bye my day

Shizuka ni tada inotta

Bye my day bye my day

Owareta sekai de

Bye my day bye my day

Anata o mada omotteiru kara

Nee darling kono te o nigiri kaeshite

Darling namida de fuyakekitte

Saigo made aishite hoshikunatta

Kono sora ga tsuzuku made

Darling darling namae o yobimodoshite

Darling doredake hanaretatte

Soredemo anata ga tsumugu hikari ga

Doushiyou mo naku utsukushikatta kara

Righto. I'm going to explain the rules one last time.

This will be a game of tag.

If Ataru Moroboshi manages to grab hold of Lum's horns within the 10 day time limit

then I'll lend you my pigs to clean up the mushrooms.

How's that fair? Lum can fly!

Don't throw a wobbly.

Lum is prohibited from flying higher than the caps of the mushrooms.

But those things are like 57 meters tall right?

On your marks.

Start!

I'm gonna win!

If you want any chance of catching me

then you have to say that you love me!

I know exactly how to lure you over to me without saying anything like that!

Huh? Where is he going?

Hey there cuties! Wanna grab drinks together?

Get serious butthead!

Hook me up with your digits and address!

You realize you don't have time for this right?!

You have got to be kidding!

She's already getting away!

Take this seriously!

Quit standing around like an idiot!

Get after her dammit!

Hurry up!

You gotta catch her!

If Lum was acting like usual

she would have flipped out and gone straight for Ataru.

Lum's not goofing around about this.

Lum! You've got the wrong idea!

Words like "love" and "hate" don't have any real meaning!

Do you hear me? Lum?!

Dumbass!

Bozo! Numbskull!

Come down here and teach me a lesson already!

You coward!

Is that all...

you have to say to me?!

He's never going to catch her like that.

It makes me sick knowing the fate of the Earth is in the hands of that idiot.

I feel you.

Play tag?

But what for?

It's my last gamble.

All I want is for my darling to say it once.

To tell me that he loves me.

Well just so we're clear

I'm willing to lend you my pigs without any strings attached.

I know. I'm counting on your help

regardless of how the game turns out.

Okay Lum but what happens if that bellend doesn't end up saying it? I mean...

Then I can finally give up on him after knowing that's how he truly feels.

And when that happens I'll...

It's just a couple words. I never knew they could be so important.

I guess...

I've never said them to her either...

So the marriage is off?

Yes Lum and Rupa's wedding has been cancelled.

Rupa made the decision himself.

Good I never was on board with it in the first place.

And what does Lum have to say about it?

She gave me a message to deliver to you two.

Moroboshi!

Quit being a stubborn jackass!

Ataru!

Spare some thought to how your mom and I will look in the eyes of our neighbors!

You little ingrate!

Hey Oni!

You're dooming the human race! How do you live with yourself?!

Dude! Quit trying to piss her off!

Just say that you love her dammit!

Chase after her right now!

I'm just gobsmacked.

How is it so hard to say a few simple words?

Well after you miss the first chance it starts to feel really awkward.

Rupa!

I'm glad I found you Karula.

Wh-What're you even here for?

I was planning to let the Earthlings borrow my pigs

regardless of how this little game turned out

but I've changed my mind.

I'm not letting them use my pigs unless you agree to come back with me.

Huh?

I said I'm not letting the Earthlings use my pigs

unless you agree to come back with me!

What's that supposed to mean?

For crying out loud! Don't you get it?!

I've got no idea what you're going on about.

Bloody hell! How can you be this daft?!

You twat! Are you here just to take the mick outta me?!

Why's it so difficult to understand

that I'm trying to ask you to be my wife?! You knob head!

Who're you calling a knob head?!

Why the bloody hell should I...

Huh?!

Come on. Let's get hitched.

Look up there!

That ship belongs to Lum's dad...

Why is he here?

Lum wanted a favor?

That crazy girl had me bring somethin' real nasty.

What is this?

It's a memory scrubber.

Excuse me?

Say what now?!

Is that true?!

Lum's dead serious about this.

If that idiot Moroboshi doesn't admit to loving her

then she intends to wipe herself and the rest of us

from the memories of all Earthlings.

That'll put an end to everything.

It would all be lost to darkness eh?

But that's such a rash thing to do.

Does Moroboshi know?

Not yet.

It won't make a difference. This is Moroboshi we're talking about.

It'll just make him double down harder.

The situation is bad enough as is. We're screwed if it gets any worse.

Unbelievable! That cynical jackass.

We're definitely better off not telling him.

Too late for that!

Moroboshi?!

Found you!

That wasn't me fool.

Ataru...

Well there's nothing we can do if you already overheard.

You better say that you love her!

Unless you want to forget all about your time with Lum!

No way.

Dammit! You can't be serious!

Shut up!

You can go tell that wussy to her face that I'm not backing down no matter what!

Who are you calling a wussy?

Don't pretend it wasn't you who pushed me this far.

Hmph! You just keep using cheap trick after cheap trick.

Well whatever. I couldn't care less about losing all my memories of you!

Bleh!

Oh? Is that so?

Why bother playing tag and all this other annoying crap?

Just erase my memory right now and go back to your planet!

You moron!

Okay...

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA TO ME!

If that's what you really want then I'll wipe your memory right now!

Goodbye darling!

Hey Lum!

Wait up! Lum!

What a pitiful fool.

Calm down and think this over Lum.

We get it. Moroboshi is a stubborn jerk.

But you share some of the blame Lum.

How does that work?!

You've forced him so far into a corner that it's unfair.

You need to consider his personality a little more before you act.

Why don't you two just back off!

This is a problem between me and my darling!

Seriously?!

Listen here!

If you really feel that way then you better keep the rest of us out of it!

Cuz guess what? I'm pretty fond of the people here on Earth!

Don't expect me to leave them behind.

You can just go back to your planet by yourself!

If you dare activate that damn memory scrubber

then consider our friendship over!

FOREVER!

Cat got your tongue Lum?

Ya see Benten that table there...

Whaddya want pops?

That's actually the activation switch for the memory scrubber.

Huh?

Oh dear.

Goodbye darling.

This is the end.

Lum!

If that's what you really want then I'll wipe your memory right now!

I can still remember her...

I'm not gonna forget.

Ever.

She tried to freak me out with that stupid bluff!

Well it's a good thing they equipped it with a timer

that's set to go off on the final day. Huh Benten?

Shaddup! You don't have to keep saying it!

That memory scrubber...

It's been rigged to shut down if the kiddo manages to grab hold of Lum's horns.

I know that's how pops explained it.

But Moroboshi has no chance of catching Lum unless he says that he loves her.

This won't end well.

At this point we have no other choice but to stop it ourselves!

However the only problem is we don't know where the device actually is.

What's the latest?

We're using all forms of technology available to the Mendo Conglomerate

to conduct a thorough search but...

Um actually something has been on my mind for a while...

What is that thing?

That's the memory scrubber!

It is?!

It's been flying near us the entire time.

Where the hell were you morons even looking?!

I was focused on the radar sir...

So we just gotta smash it to pieces?

Nah use these!

Here!

Balls?

Take this!

Shit!

What're you doing?

We're using these balls

to try and hit the deactivation switch!

Shit! Quit flying all over the damn place!

How are we supposed to hit it?!

Well this certainly isn't going to be easy to pull off.

I'm begging you darling!

I just want to hear those simple words.

Quit loafing around ya dope.

The timer is still countin' down.

Ya only got until tomorrow at sunset before it's up.

And then...

it's all over...

But ya know I ain't sad about never seein' yer sorry face again.

See ya.

The memory scrubber has a timer that's counting down?

Tomorrow will be the 10th day.

As promised once the sun goes down

I'll release my pigs to start clearing out the mushrooms.

Okay.

But if the memory scrubber doesn't stop...

is it true that they're all going to forget?

Mm-hm.

Blimey that's extreme.

I guess the two of you are even more hardheaded than we are.

All I want...

is to know for sure how my darling feels about me.

Today's the last day Moroboshi!

Ataru! If you win I'll treat you to your favorite meal tonight! Sukiyaki!

And with high-grade meat to boot!

Get back here dammit!

Why can't you say a few simple words?!

Come on Ataru!

Are you sure you're okay with forgetting everything that's happen until now?!

Stupid Lum!

This whole situation sucks.

Even if I say I love you...

...how will you know whether I'm telling the truth or not?!

He's hit his limit huh?

There's no way he can catch her now.

Why?

What's the problem?!

Darling! It's all so simple!

Just say that you love me.

All I want is you to say it.

I don't care if it's a lie!

Darling...

Just a few simple words and he'd be free from all this struggling.

So why?

Soon it'll be too late...

DUMB DARLING!

Are you really okay with just forgetting me forever?!

Like hell.

NOTHING COULD MAKE ME FORGET YOU!

Are those my horns?

This whole time...

he was holding onto them...

How could I forget?

My darling never changes.

He's the same as ever.

Always cherishing me...

but never admitting it!

Lum!

Darling!

Lum you dummy.

Darling.

Congrats...

you won.

The Earth is saved!

Hooray!

Good grief.

The most obnoxious lover's spat ever.

Yes! Way to go Ataru!

Now I won't have to hide from the neighbors!

Congratulations!

Oh gosh! I'm so sorry for all the fuss our stupid son caused.

Looks like it stopped.

What great news.

Yeah...

You've been cheating on me AGAIN?!

It's a misunderstanding!

Now that's a familiar sight.

They just never quit.

Oh dear.

So you're never going to say the L-word to her in the end?

Hey! Get back here!

Jeez.

You pigheaded dope!

I don't care how long it takes. I'll make you say it one day.

I'll let you hear it on my deathbed.

Bleh!

Hey!

Are you two going to continue this stupid lover's spat for the rest of your lives or what?!

You know it!

Ow.

Tomobiki Town

Neighborhood Association

Boy Meets Girl:

I Want You When I Can't Have You

SHRIEK

HUUUUUSH

KERZAP!

Day 5

WHAM!

POW!

SNORT

RUSTLE

FWOOSH!

KLONK...

THWACK!

TWITCH

KAPOW!

TMP TMP

Day 9

The Final Day

Game of tag that decides

the fate of Earth finally ends

Urusei Yatsura

Urusei Yatsura -The End-