Original subtitles

I'm finding this hard to believe.

Ryu and her dad have a new seaside café?

And they bought a whole island on top of it.

Well it has to be uninhabited right?

Even so this sounds incredibly fishy.

That must be it!

Ya friggin' dumbass!

How're we supposed to do business in the middle of nowhere?!

There's not a single damn customer around here!

Shaddup! Have you gone blind or what?!

Huh?

Look!

There's a whole bunch of people living over there.

Seriously? How can you expect people to come all the way from the opposite shore?

Don't be such a quitter Ryunosuke!

How friggin' dumb can you get?!

That figures.

This is exactly what I expected to see.

Thank you Captain.

See? Whadda I tell ya!

Our first customers are here!

Only cuz I invited them you friggin' dumbass!

Shucks!

We really appreciate you comin' out.

Welcome to our humble seaside café!

I gotta say it's pretty crazy that you bought this island.

Well it's all thanks to a friend of mine.

Oh yeah? But it couldn't have been cheap.

They were generous enough to give us a deep discount but...

300 yen was still steeper than I expected.

3...

300 friggin' yen?!

Dammit! I can't believe you blew that kind of money on this stupid dinky island!

Whaddya think?

That's too cheap no matter how you look at it.

Shit. What's wrong with him?

Wasting big money like that without even consulting me.

Who's the creep trying to peep on me?!

Th-They disappeared?

There you have it.

I knew this place had to be haunted or something.

What the hell are you guys doing here?!

What?!

Somebody died here?!

Yeah.

A good friend of mine used to be the owner of this shop.

But then last summer he died under some strange circumstances.

Well that explains it.

This island has problems.

Okay then the girl who I saw outside earlier...

I'm pretty sure that was Nagisa.

Nagisa is my friend's only kid.

Or used to be.

W-Wait are you saying...?

Did she die too?

I really wish I knew what happened on this island.

Do you hear that?

Wh-What is it?

I know this sound...

Somebody's shaving ice.

Welcome in.

What can we do ya for?

Aw shucks! Just pullin' your leg!

Well? Did we spook ya?

Aw Dad! You big goofball!

Shiowatari my man!

Always the prankster even in death huh?

I just thought I'd break the ice with a little joke ya know!

Ryunosuke! Let me introduce you.

This is my best buddy. Or rather he WAS.

His name is Shiowatari!

Just the kinda crap I'd expect from a friend of yours.

Fujinami is that who I think it is?

Yep that's my Ryunosuke.

Well how about that! So you're the one!

Wh-What's yer problem?

Nagisa!

This is Ryunosuke he's your fiancé!

Fiancé?!

You got some 'splainin' to do.

It's exactly like he said.

The two of us have been buddies since we were swingin' singles!

And we promised that if we ever had kids...

No matter what the circumstances were...

we'd totally marry them to each other!

Hold on a damn minute! You don't get to decide who—

What a bummer huh?

You were so close to marrying a real beauty.

SCREW THAT NOISE!

You and your friggin' impulsive promises!

Fiancé my ass!

Wait.

Does that mean... you hate me?

No it's not like that.

Then is it because I'm a ghost? That must be it! Obviously!

Just hear me out. I'm actually a wom—

I got all my hopes up for nothing!

Oh Nagisa!

Goddammit!

And you call yourself my kid?!

Don't you find it cute and charming

how Nagisa yearns to be with you even after death?!

That's NOT the problem!

My poor little Nagisa!

If it weren't for that fateful day...

I'm so upset!

That reminds me we heard that you two died in some strange way.

What on earth happened here?

This was the culprit.

What is it?

Our cafe's original creation: shaved ice with urchin and adzuki.

Shaved ice...

...with urchin and adzuki?

Yes.

Nagisa and I moved out here to live on this island.

But for some reason we never got any customers...

I know!

My idea was to create something unique to this area

that people couldn't get anywhere else.

This part of the coast is a breeding ground for sea urchins.

So we figured...

making shaved ice with them would definitely draw in customers!

Nobody would come for—

Hold on Shinobu. Let's just listen until they finish.

We wanted to refine the flavor

so we ate bowl after bowl of shaved ice to make it perfect.

But then when I hit my 98th bowl...

N-Nagisa... it's up to you now...

Dad?

Dad!

All right Dad.

I swear to you that I'll finish what we started!

But I ran out of steam and met my end after the 166th bowl...

Yeah those are definitely "strange circumstances".

That's one hell of an admirable way to go Shiowatari!

I won't let your shaved ice with urchin and adzuki go to waste!

My boy and I will make it happen!

Fujinami my man!

No way you dumbass!

Then you can find peace and go to heaven.

Yeah that works for me but...

I'm not sure Nagisa feels the same.

I want...

just one chance to share a kiss with my betrothed... Ryunosuke.

Kiss?!

So basically without that kiss...

...she can't move on to the afterlife.

K-K-K-K-K....

I ain't doing it! No way in hell!

Just man up and get to smooching! Or else Nagisa's spirit won't move on!

Stuff it!

Please! I just want one kiss!

Not happening.

But why? I thought we were...

engaged to each other.

Listen here! It's cuz I'm a wo—

Just stop! I don't want to hear it!

I know I'm a ghost!

And clearly that creeps you out too much to even kiss me!

Hey wait!

You gotta hear me out! I'm a wo—

Enough with your excuses!

I never raised you to be so cold!

Have a heart!

SHUT THE HELL UP!

Um Nagisa?

Do you really feel that strongly about Ryunosuke?

I'm going to be stuck as a ghost forever at this rate!

Well listen Nagisa...

Ryunosuke is actually—

Hold up Shinobu.

What now? It would be better if she knew!

It's not that simple.

All it takes is a single kiss for her to pass into the afterlife!

So we should trick her?

The ends justify the means.

Ignorance is bliss.

Hey old man. I wanna make this clear to you.

I'm actually a woman.

Huh?

And uh why does that matter...?

Whaddya mean? It should be obvious!

We led such a miserable life.

From a young age Nagisa started working and never stopped...

Welcome in!

Need a beer over here!

without any chance at romance!

Coming!

You're the only one who can grant Nagisa peace.

Of course nobody's gonna force you to do it...

I just feel so awful for Nagisa.

Yeah well even so...

Have you finally gotten it through your thick head Ryunosuke?!

Nagisa!

Good news!

Ryunosuke was generous enough to listen to reason and agreed!

Really?!

I kinda doubt that.

Go on. And make it a real big smooch.

O-Okay! Thank you!

I don't feel anything!

What?!

No way! Let me check real quick!

Nope I definitely felt that...

Well ghosts are pretty much like air.

Dad! What am I going to do?!

Calm down Nagisa.

Look.

There's a full moon tonight.

What about it?

This island has a legend that's long been passed down.

It says that once a year on the night of a full moon in the heat of summer...

a gigantic urchin will make its way to this island

from the depths of the ocean to lay its eggs.

The urchin digs a hole on the beach

and then lays its eggs inside.

But the pain of passing the eggs causes it to cry.

This is absurd!

It's not a freakin' sea turtle.

Go on Nagisa.

You just need to touch the urchin's tears.

If you say so Dad!

It's a miracle!

I have a body again!

It's true.

Ryunosuke my love!

Oh hell no!

Wait Ryunosuke! Please!

The power of love at work.

Doesn't something feel off?

Our two resident playboys aren't making any moves on Nagisa.

Good point.

That's definitely weird.

What's the problem Mendo?

I could ask you the same.

You're a shameless womanizer with no boundaries or morals...

And you're a perverted slimeball that can't keep his hands to himself...

So why haven't you made a move?!

Something is up.

Ryunosuke my love!

Stay away!

Please!

Help my spirit pass on!

Ryunosuke...

H-H-Hold the damn phone!

Take a good look!

How wonderful!

Except that's not the problem here!

Let's be clear I'm a woman!

Why does that matter?

Huh?

Cut it out!

Yeek!

W-Wait are you...?!

Yes. I'm a boy.

But that doesn't make a lick of difference.

Because I'm still in love with you Ryunosuke.

Well that explains a lot.

Okay? So now...

put my spirit at peace!

Hold on!

I'm not ready for this yet!

Uh oh the sun is coming out!

Nagisa! It's time to go!

What? But we can't yet Dad!

We're ghosts. There's nothing we can do about it.

Bye Shiowatari. Catch ya later.

Friggin' hell!

I thought you were gonna go poof back to ghost world!

I can't! Because I have a physical body now!

N-Nagisa... please let me take a break.

Here. It's all ready.

The 167th bowl!

Roar!

Screeech!

C'mon. Bring it.

Jab. Jab. Straight!

Hey! That's not fair!

And to finish it off...

an uppercut!

Aw crud! Hang in there!

My 10th victory in a row!

That's a load of crap!

Ya haven't been fightin' fair at all stupid jerk!

But you've got a robot. A handicap is only fair.

C'mon Ten. No more playing for today.

It's time to go to bed.

Another rematch! Just one more time!

Sorry but I'm too tired.

Fight me or get burned!

Okay. Let's catch some Zs.

What the hell is that thing?!

Rip 'em a new one!

Somebody help!

Yahoo! I won!

Huh?

What am I looking at...?

Yeesh.

I had such a crappy dream last night.

Stupid Ataru!

Wuzzat?

Something shiny.

Where's it coming from?

Why hello there!

Who the heck're you?!

I'm a fairy who makes kids' dreams come true!

I ride the wind from town to town

giving out the gift of dreams to children along the way!

But unfortunately there was a storm last night...

and I had to take refuge in this puddle of water.

Except my ever-important parasol went flying!

Gosh that sucks.

Let me pull ya outta there.

Huh?

That won't work.

I'm in a different dimension.

And I can't get out without my parasol.

So if you find it for me I'll make one of your dreams come true!

Really?!

Why of course!

Sweet! I'll get to lookin'!

There's tons of dreams I wanna make real!

Like I wanna get married to Sakura.

And I wanna fly super fast!

What was that?!

Yo flying turtle! How's it going?

Ya stupid turd...

Who're ya calling a flying turtle?!

I know what dream needs to come true...

Me crushing Ataru flat!

There it is.

Be a smart kitty and fork that over nice n' easy.

Darn you!

Dummy! Guess yer animal brain's still too small!

Ah! W-Wait come back here!

Wow this such a cute umbrella!

Is it a toy? I bet Ten would love this.

Oh little Ten? Where are you?

Hey Lum!

I'm over here!

Oh Ten!

C'mon Lum!

Guess he's not around here.

Perfect. That will keep the dew drops off you.

Lum...

Wahoo!

Ouch!

Wh-What was that?!

Ataru! Your gym clothes are clean so set them out to dry!

Bleh.

Gonna borrow this!

Ugh!

You stupid little shit!

Nothing to be scared about.

All I want is that parasol okay?

Hey! Stop it Ten!

You shouldn't bully those poor birds!

I'm not! I'm after something else!

Did that really happen?

Yeah.

Well shoot. That's a big deal.

I gotta save that fairy right away!

Wh-Why you...!

Oh Mister Fairy!

Grow up already darling.

Yay Lum! Thank you!

Here.

That burns!

Look a rainbow!

Thanks little fella!

As promised I'll make your dream come true!

Hooray!

Okay just fly your way to the end of this rainbow.

And your dreams will be reality!

Gosh what dream will it be?

Huh? This is...

So this was the dream that you chose Ten?

Jeez.

I'd love to hear you explain this one.

It's the crappy dream that I had last night!

I'm a little fairy who makes things merry!

Going from town to town and spreading dreams around!

On the next episode of Urusei Yatsura...

Squee! It's just you and me tonight!

You're invited to

the reopening of:

The Ocean Lover's Cafe

Newly Remodeled

CRASH!

WHAM!

POW!

SHATTER!

Nagisa's Fiancé

SHUDDER

SHUDDER!

Urchin Lover

SMACK

Ocean Lover

FWOOP

BLUSH

WAHAHAHAHAHA

POW!

BOO-HOO

POW!

STAB

STAB

STAB

STAB

STAB

BADUMP

BADUMP

FWOOP

WHACK!

SCHLIP

SCHLIP

SCHLIP

DASH!

SNIFFLE

GLARE

GLARE

KONK!

KAWHAM!

SMACK!

DOOM DOOM

The Fairy's Parasol

WHAM!

SWOOSH

SWOOSH

SWOOSH

SWIPE!

WHACK!

One Night's Battle

Deadly Peril in the Classroom