Original subtitles

Sounds like the oven is done!

Eating these will...

knock him dead for sure.

And now they're perfect!

Oh it's Ran!

I'll sneak up and give her a little scare.

Hey Ran! You dropped this.

Ran?

That's weird. Where'd she disappear to?

This smells great!

Well since she left it behind...

I'll just eat it!

Yum!

Darling?

You'll catch a cold sleeping on the ground like that.

Time to wake up!

Darling?

D-Darling...?

Darling!

Darling...

DARLIIIIIIIIING!

Hey listen

This is rough my heart got attached to yours and can't be separated

Gazing into each other's eyes as we get tangled and untangled

Until I make you mine

Humans are so foolish

Modeling things after fantasies

Don't take it as being natural

And love me

You're longing for my presence huh?

Just divulge your true feelings

Because even if you hide them by acting cool

They're clear as day

You're fine as is

You don't have to change

I already know

So don't act tough

It's okay for you to show me just a little right?

Oh come on now

Even if I grumble about being lonely

You just poke fun at me

Why can't you actually pay proper attention to me?

Hey listen

This is rough my heart got attached to yours and can't be separated

Gazing into each other's eyes as we get tangled and untangled

I came to realize my feelings

It's not enough I need more time with you

I want us to live and laugh together

Craving each other's attention and then losing it has made me understand

This is my love!

Has it reached you?

Although I've been unable to put an arrow straight through your heart

Isn't this awesome?

What I want is to make you say that I'm unforgettable

And I don't care how many years into the future I have to wait

As long as I get to hear it

Darling! Hang in there!

I'm dying...

What's causing this?!

Poison!

Can you cure him?

Have no fear!

All funeral preparations have been made!

Darn Ran! How could she do this?

Don't you have an antidote?!

Currently out of order. Currently out of order.

I know!

I'll just find Ran and ask her how to make the antidote myself!

Just you wait darling!

I'll be back soon!

What is that?

This will let me keep track of my darling's vitals wherever I go!

Ah so it's a pulse oximeter and EEG!

Lum...

Darling?!

He's talking in his sleep.

Really?

Even in his sleep...

he said my name...?

Oh darling.

Lum!

I always knew that you cared for me deep down in your heart!

Lum...

Cherry! Keep a close eye on my darling for me!

Shinobu...

What the?

Miss Benten...

Lady Oyuki...

Nurse Sakura...

Kurama baby...

Ryoko my sweet...

Praise be.

Ran you cutie...

Ran's spaceship was totally deserted.

But I know this is where she fed my darling that poison cake.

Ah! It's a warp hole!

She must've used that to run away!

Phooey. I think I went the wrong way.

Oh?

Pardon mister! Could you help me?

Whatcha need missy?

Well I would like to get some directions.

Sure thing. But in return...

gimmie one of the goodies you've got in that basket okay?

This?

Yep.

Hey mister!

Have you seen a girl who looks like this pass through here?

Not again! Ran you monster!

It's hopeless...

This forest is just too big for me to find her.

She must be somewhere upstream!

Hang tight darling!

I'm almost done!

I'll be back to save you soon!

Darling...?

Well Rei? Is it yummy?

Mm-hmm.

Hooray!

My super scrumptious cakes worked!

They knocked Rei dead and stole his heart!

That sounds like...

Lum!

Wait Rei!

Come back!

Lum! Lum!

LUM!

Dammit! Today is the last friggin' day I need your crap!

All your noisy bitchin' interrupted my good time with Rei!

Why do you always have to be a thorn in my side?!

What's the matter Lummy-poo?

Oh Ran!

It's awful! My darling is gone!

Give him back to me!

Wh-What are you talking about?

My darling is dead!

He's gone forever!

Calm down Lummy-poo.

There's no way that your darling would die.

But he is! I saw it!

There must be some kind of mistake.

Come on. It's time to go home.

We'll give you a ride.

Damn! I feel like crap...

And my stomach is still bloated as hell.

Wh-What's the big idea?!

Don't just barge into my room through the window with that giant freak dammit!

Learn to use the door like regular people!

And be more considerate when I'm under th—

What's the matter?

Oh thank heavens! What a relief!

Hey Lum.

Remember all that "give him back" stuff you were shouting at me earlier?

Well ya better friggin' explain what's going on!

What?!

He ate one of my cakes off the ground?!

Those are special cakes meant to be 100 times more filling than normal!

Only Rei can manage to eat 'em!

Friggin' hell!

Did ya seriously interrupt my date with Rei just for this stupid crap?!

I'm so sorry!

Sorry dude! I had no idea those cakes were meant for you!

Once upon a time

there was a lone fox who fell in love with a human girl.

But after pursing various lines of attack...

Attack!

The fox was unable to communicate his affections to her.

And so

the fox harvested the spring's first crop of horsetail shoots

and cast a spell over them.

Then on a hazy moonlit night...

Knock knock.

Oh my!

The results were extraordinary!

The young lady transformed into a beautiful fox.

And the two foxes frolicked happily for the entire night.

Although the effects of the spell only lasted for that one night...

Oh my!

...the fox was very happy with how it turned out.

This legend has been passed down among foxes for generations.

Oh hey! Ataru!

The hell are you supposed to be?

I'm Shinobu silly.

I was out walking and got lost.

Can you escort me home Ataru?

Hey darling? I think this is the fox from that one time.

Oh yeah! I remember him.

I'm not a fox! I'm Shinobu!

I'm Shinobu! I'm Shinobu! I'm Shinobu!

Okay whatever you say.

Let's get you home.

I love that kind side of you Ataru.

Go home Lum. It's too late for you to be out.

Not on your life mister!

It's the middle of the night.

I know better than to let you visit Shinobu alone darling!

Oh gosh but I'm already right here...

You heard Shinobu.

Don't give me that.

Oh my gosh!

I don't believe it!

Shinobu!

You came all the way here just to see me?

You know it baby.

Sorry that I had to trick you Ataru.

But I'm not actually Shinobu.

Wait he was supposed to be disguised as me?

That's what he said.

So what brings you here?

What's wrong?

Whoa!

Why is there another me in here?!

What are you trying to say now?

The fox gave me a message to deliver!

Oh? And who are you?

I'm Lum obviously.

Then who is this?

I dunno.

Let's just forget about all of that right now.

So what is the message?

The fox is upset about losing the horsetail shoots he brought.

Horsetail shoots?

He wants Shinobu to eat them!

Why me?

Let's go find them! Let's go find them!

It's too late tonight. We'll look tomorrow.

No we have to go now!

It won't have any effect unless you eat it on a hazy moonlit night!

"Effect"?

Fess up twerp. What are you scheming?

Wh-Who the heck are you?!

It's suspicious how you keep dodging the question.

Are you trying to poison her or what?

Nuh-uh! Nuh-uh!

You're wrong darling! You're wrong darling!

Are you Lum now?

Listen. Just be honest with us okay?

Why does it have to be tonight?

WHAT?!

You're trying to turn Shinobu into a fox?! You little shit!

Whoa there! Hold on!

All right. Let's go looking for it together!

Yip!

You realize how dumb this is right?

Whatever. I'd feel awful sending him back home without doing anything.

But what happens if we actually find the horsetail shoots?

That's easy. I'll just eat them.

No way Shinobu!

You can't abandon me and turn into a fox!

Oh jeez. Cut it out Ataru.

It's just a fairy tale anyways!

But thanks for worrying about me.

Well that should about do it.

Hey kids. What are you up to?

We tried but it's time to give up okay?

Some stray dog probably ate them.

Hey kids. What are you up to?

Listen. Being stubborn is only gonna cause trouble for Shinobu ya know?

Hey kids. What are you up to?

Hey kids! What are you up to?!

Just shaddup!

It should be obvious that we're trying our best to ignore you dammit!

Oh really?

I've never heard of such a tale before.

Apparently it's a legend that's been passed down among foxes.

Cheer up little guy.

You don't need to turn me into a fox.

Because I'll play with you whenever you want. Okay?

Isn't that enough?

Yip...

Here young fox. Have some of this. It will make you feel better.

Don't! You'll end up six feet under!

What's that supposed to mean?!

Is it really that good?

Eat up.

I guess I'll have a little too.

Same! It smells great!

Mmm! This tastes amazing for something Cherry cooked up!

What did you put in it?

Well just some horsetail shoots that Kotatsu Cat found.

Oh yeah? Talk about funny coincidences!

Cherry! Gimme seconds!

Sure thing.

Hey! I want seconds too Cherry!

Okay don't start bickering.

There's plenty to go around.

This is the best!

It's yummy huh?

Yip!

The cherry blossoms dance in this town where thunder roars

Hey hey when it comes to you

I just love you so so much that I can't help it

Seeing you watch the cherry blossoms suddenly fills me with sadness

How many more chances will I have to say "I love you" and "I'm yours"?

Hey how many times will I get to see the same spring as you?

Please flowers please flowers don't fall yet

Please spring don't end yet

Even if it's just for a little while longer

I want to be together with you no matter how selfish it is

Please flowers please flowers don't fall yet

Actually time should just freeze altogether

But the sun goes down in spite of my wishes

Blown along into tomorrow with the spring wind

So I smile and say to you "let's come again next year"

Where am I?!

Howdy Teach!

We 'preciate you makin' the long trip ta get here!

Mr. Onsen! Now's the perfect time to get our home visit over with!

My mom and dad have really been looking forward to it!

Hey! Break out the super light shochu made fer Earthlings!

Gosh I can't get over how luxurious this meal is!

Yer darn tootin'! Nothin' says hospitality like good food!

Time to dig in!

Chowtime! Don't hold back Teach!

What's the matter Mr. Onsen?

I'm just so touched!

This is the first time today

that anybody's treated me like a real human being!

Thank you!

Thank you so much!

Aw shucks Teach!

Cheer yerself up with a drink!

Sure!

Today I got hit by crossfire in a family squabble!

Beat up by a buncha thugs in sunglasses!

Treated like some kinda creep!

And tortured with tempura I never got to freakin' eat!

All cuz of my damn good-for-nothing students!

Well I'mma quit being a teacher!

Screw 'em! My teachin' days are over!

Ya know I haven't seen Onsen around anywhere lately.

Do you think he's skipping school?

I wouldn't put it past him.

That lazy bum.

Oh right...

I did hear Mr. Onsen ranting about how he's gonna "quit being a teacher."

And ya won't believe this next part!

The wife goes and starts whackin' me with a broom!

Yikes. That sounds rough...

But ya know men shouldn't go bellyaching about stuff like that!

You said it!

Well I really should be on my way...

Hold yer horses! Ya can afford ta stay a little longer!

Ain't that right Teach?

No actually I really need to get back to school...

So like I was just sayin'!

The wife goes and starts whackin' me with a broom of all things!

Seriously I have to get back to school now...

My pride as a husband was on the line let me tell ya!

I have a class to teach...

So whaddya think I did? Run away from home of course!

PLEASE JUST LET ME GO BACK TO THE SCHOOL!

On the next episode of Urusei Yatsura.

Wah! It's dark! It's cramped! I'm scared!

SNIFF

L♥vely Darling in Danger!!

DING

KERSMACK!

Shinobu...

Miss Benten...

Lady Oyuki...

Nurse Sakura...

Kurama baby...

Ryoko my sweet...

Ran you cutie...

Guide Shrub

Guide Shrub

CHOMP

SWOOP!

BUHMOOO!

BUHMOOO!

Explaining

BOW

CLENCH!

ATTACK!

PLUCK

MUMBLE

No regrets for our youth!

Yiiiiiiiiiip...

Foxes in the Moonlight

Tomobiki Shopping District

SCREEEECH!

BOW-WOW!

FLOP...

GLARE

HM?

TAP TAP

GLANCE

POOF

SHOOOOOOOOCK

POOF

POOF

POOF

SMUSH!

SHOVE!

SIP

SLURP

SNARF

SLURP

JOOOOOOOOOOY

SNARF

SLURP

The Home Visit Blues:

Mark Onsen Goes to Space

WAHAHA!

WHOA

The Home Visit Blues

~The End~

Wretched Shutaro!!