Original subtitles

Hold on!

Where are you going?

We're going to create a new door!

But why do that?

Remember that future from earlier? You didn't like it right?

Huh?

Hey!

We can change the future right?

The future isn't limited to just one!

Why didn't you say that earlier?!

That means one of these must lead to my dream future!

There has to be a future where I get married to my darling!

I'm gonna check it out.

Me too!

Hey wait!

Jeez they're such busybodies...

Get your ass back here!

When we tell you to stop we friggin' mean it!

Jeez what a goddamn pain!

Hey Ataru! We've captured Lum!

Good job boys.

D-Darling...

Alright Lum. Fork that over right now!

Forget it. This is the last seed of rice left in the entire world.

I can't let you have it!

Just do what he tells you Lum!

No way!

Too bad because you don't have a choice.

Take her away!

Yessir!

Not on my watch!

That sounded like...

Leap!

Blargh!

Mendo!

I'm here to put a stop to you Moroboshi.

You just never stop getting in my damn way do you?

Well that ends toda—

Hey I was still in the middle of my... speech...

This future is bonkers.

What on Earth happened to cause all this?

Let's go to the next one!

Nee kiite

Tsurainda mou kokoro ga mou tsunaide hanarerarenai

Mitsumeatte mada karamette hodoke

Itomeru made

Ningen nante oroka ne

Souzou de katadotte

Touzen datte omowanai de

Aishite ite

Dandan koishiku naru ne

Hontou no uchi o sarashite

Kakkou tsukete kakushitatte

Bareteru kara

Sono manma de ii

Kawannai de ii

Mou shitteru shi

Tsuyogannaide yo

Sukoshi kurai misete mo ii janai

Demo nanda kana

Sabishii toka tsubuyaitatte

Chakasundesho

Nande motto chanto mitekurenai no kana

Nee kiite

Tsurainda mou kokoro ga mou tsunaide hanarerarenai

Mitsumeatte mada karamette hodoke

Kimochi ni kizuita

Tarinai yo mou futari ga ii

Waraiatte ikitai no

Motomeatte mata ushinatte wakaru

Kore ga watashi no ai da

Todoita kana

Uchinuku koto mo mama naranai keredomo

Saikou janai?

Kimi ni mo sa wasurerannaitte iwasetai no

Sorega nannen saki no mirai demo ii no

Kikeru no nara

You guys seem pretty exhausted.

Yeah cuz we are.

Looking through all these lousy futures one by one really takes a toll...

Darling. Care to explain yourself?

Whaddya mean?

There's no future where you and I have gotten married!

And I want to hear the reason why darn it!

THE HELL IF I KNOW!

Gimme a break.

I'm suffering from this just as much as you.

Pssh only because you never found

a stupid future where you're the king of your own harem.

Dammit! That's not fair!

I actually have dreams for a way more humble future than that ya know!

Like living out my days in a dirt cheap one-room apartment together with you...

Huh?

And Shinobu...

And Sakura...

And Ran and Ryu and Ryoko

and Miss Benten and Lady Oyuki...

That's the kind of modest life I want!

WHAT PART OF THAT IS MODEST?!

Just calm down.

Now that we're all on the same page...

We're not even on the same book!

Okay relax.

There's a peaceful solution to this.

Where are we?

This is the Fortune Factory.

You simply envision the future that you want...

Then attach the knob to a door and your ideal future is ready to go!

Wow!

Harem baby! Harem!

Married life with my darling!

My ideal future?

Hmm what should it be like?

That's as far as you go normies!

Manufacturing potential futures is our job!

Meddlers like you are not welcome!

You won't get away with—

Come on let's go.

Hey! Learn some manners and let me finish speaking!

We're back here again?

No it's somewhere different.

Take a good look at the doors.

None of them have knobs...

Okay let's attach these new ones.

I was in a rush when I made mine.

I hope it turned out okay.

It'll be fine! Harem time harem time!

Not so fast!

Inaba!

Yes! Plunge into the abyss!

That's far enough. Hand over your knob nice and...

Shove off! You annoying jerks!

I have to go save him!

Well playtime is over.

Just give us the knobs.

Yeah right. This isn't over by a long shot.

So who wants to get toasted to a crisp first?

Whisper whisper whisper...

Sorry we've made a big mistake.

Huh?

The future is clearly something that

you people should be able to create for yourselves.

So we'll just be going now...

Those guys were pretty quick to change their tune.

Bet you didn't see this coming!

No! They ruined my future!

Don't worry Lum.

Cuz the future that I wanted is still safe and sound!

You think I give a crap about the safety of your stupid harem future?!

Get back here!

Darling! Where'd you go?!

The best future ever is about to be reality.

Where am I?

Whoa! It's my harem!

Except...

What's with this tiny apartment?

Dear husband would you at least consider

upgrading to a bigger apartment with more space?

Hey make room!

Dammit this place is so cramped!

My harem is literally bursting at the seams.

Forgive me fair maidens.

This is the best that I can manage with my current finances.

Yeah that makes sense.

There's nothing funny about this.

Oh lookie here.

Come on don't get upset.

I see Miss Benten and Lady Oyuki.

All the fuss is just making it hotter in here.

And there's Ran...

Hold up. Someone's missing.

Where's Lum?

Lum woke up early and got out of here.

Ow!

It's actually a good thing that one of us left huh?

Since this place is so small.

Oh my.

What seems to be the matter dear husband?

I'm gonna take a walk.

Stupid friggin' Lum.

Why's she gotta have a stick up her butt over my harem?

I mean sure I did pawn off everything that Lum owned

to earn enough money to establish my harem.

But that wasn't even enough

so I was making her go work part-time every day...

And since the apartment is too small I had to put her bed up on the roof...

But like... but like...

How could she leave me over that?!

ANY GIRL WOULD DITCH YOUR ASS OVER THAT FOOL!

I can't believe it.

My moronic future self couldn't find any other way to make a harem?

Screw that!

Having my own harem is pointless if Lum isn't part of it...

But come on this is Lum we're talking about.

Didn't she fall for me despite knowing that I would cheat on her?

So what's the big deal about a harem?!

STUPID LUM!

Who're you calling stupid?

Huh?!

Go on. Who did you just say was stupid?

Lum...

Your damn guttermind is to blame darling.

It's the whole reason that...

WE CAN'T GET MARRIED IN THE FUTURE!

Aw man. Is there really no chance of Lum and I getting hitched?

Hang in there Inaba!

I don't see them anywhere.

That damned Inaba. Where'd he get off to?

He's in for some severe punishment after we find him.

Severe punishment?

I have to hurry and find someplace safe to hide him.

Oh hey! Maybe in that future I made...

Any luck over there?

Nothing.

Get back here darling!

Darn it!

Just take your lumps!

S-S-Stop it!

Have some respect you're on holy ground!

Holy my butt!

C-Curse you...

Now you've really made us mad!

We honestly didn't want to make the situation any more violent than it had to be!

But now we're down to our last resort!

It's too late to start begging for forgiveness!

We mean business!

Are you scared pitiful fools?!

Hey! Did you hear us?!

Hold on! Darn it!

Who are you guys even talking to?!

Are you feeling okay?

Where are we?

This is my futur—

Good morning Nurse Sakura!

Ah Shinobu! Heading to work?

Gosh Nurse Sakura! You look as young as ever!

I could say the same to you.

Good morning!

Ugh! Obnoxious clown!

You're old enough now to know better dammit!

Pathetic.

Moroboshi hasn't matured at all has he?

Oh! Hello there Mendo.

You're one to talk!

Fathead!

So without further ado let's get married Shinobu!

Don't you "without further ado" me!

Darling!

Enough stalling! Just marry me already!

Damn you Moroboshi!

Oh jeez you guys need to get it together!

Act like adults!

Huh. So is this what your ideal future looks like?

Not exactly. It's just...

I thought it would be nice if everybody could stay the same as they are now.

Or at least that was the idea.

But I was sorely mistaken.

Uh... is this the kind of stuff you guys usually do?

Yep.

Ya know it looks like fun!

Fun really?

You are marrying me and that's FINAL mister!

Moroboshi you bastard!

You guys are going to be late!

Yeah.

You might be right.

This is ALL your fault darling!

I don't see how blaming ME does any good!

Yeah well you don't have any desire to get married to me do you?!

Listen here! It's only because I hate putting up with your attitude!

So you're gonna pin the blame on me?

Fine then.

Since you're too thickheaded to change your ways

it just means...

we'll never actually be man and wife... ever...

Hey you two!

I'm talking to you!

DUMB DARLING!

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

What now?

Wh-Why you little...

annoying brats!

Oh just shut up!

We're in the middle of something here!

You better think twice about giving us sass!

Who cares if you've caught a little glimpse of the future!

It doesn't make you any better than us!

We never thought that we were!

Your futures are doomed now!

Take this!

What's happening?

Oh no they couldn't have!

Any future that falls down into the abyss can never be used again!

We'll remake everything from scratch you'll see!

What are you acting all high and mighty for?!

Go for it! We'd feel better knowing these shitty futures are gone!

Darling!

Ouch...

Are you sure you won't regret going through with this?!

There's still time to change your mind!

Please reconsider!

What're you so embarrassed about darling?

Dummy. Quit clinging to me so tight.

Moroboshi you jackass!

Miss Lum! You mustn't rush into marriage!

Sh-Shucks.

There really was a decent future... where we got married after all...

Awesome.

Just look at her.

Crying tears of joy.

Oh crap! This is bad!

Owies...

Quit falling down!

Oh darling...

He's actually trying to protect our future!

Darling!

Hurry! You have to escape!

Not so fast!

Come on Inaba! We have to run for it!

Just forget that knob!

I can't. Not after I saw you having such a good time in that future.

Stop right there!

We're gonna make you work here until you drop dead!

Run for it everyone!

What's up there?

It's the original door that you all came through!

Hold it!

Hey Shinobu?

Please don't forget me.

Huh?

This looks familiar...

It's my house.

Wait darn you!

Goodbye!

Don't be ridiculous! You have to run away with us!

You're gonna pay dearly for this Inaba!

Come face your severe punishment!

Please Inaba!

I have to stay on this side to tear down the door

and cut off entry to your world.

Wait! You can't!

We have no idea what horrors you'll suffer after they catch you!

If the day comes when we meet again...

I hope that you'll go out for a drink with me.

Inaba!

Inaba...

He took the fall for us...

So...

What was your "severe punishment"?

They're forcing me to remake all of those different futures by myself!

And so now my schedule is a little busier than it was before.

Just a little?

I'm really glad we were able to go out for a drink Shinobu!

I bawled my eyes out last night for nothing.

Are you upset?

Not at all.

Kaminari no naru kono machi mo sakura mau

Nee nee atashi kimi no koto

Suki de suki sugite shouganakute

Hana o mitsumeru yokogao ni futo samishiku natteiku

"Aishiteru" mo "Daisuki" mo ato nankai darou

Nee mata nando kimi to onaji haru o mirareru no kana

Hana yo hana yo mada chiranaide

Kono haru yo mada owaranaide

Sukoshi demo nagaku atashi kimi to

Wagamama demo issho ni itai yo

Hana yo hana yo mada chiranaide

Isso jikan goto tomatte shimae

Nante negattemo hi wa kureru

Hanafuu ni fukare asu e yuku

"Rainen mo mata koyou ne" sou itte kimi ni waraikaketa

The next visit on my schedule is with Shinobu Miyake's folks.

Well she's actually a straight-A student.

So visiting her will be like stopping at an oasis in the desert.

Christ I'm tired.

I really need this chance to sit down and recover.

Otherwise I'll fall to pieces.

Coming!

Mr. Onsen?!

Oh right. Home visits are today.

I'm gonna need you to... open the door for me okay?

Yikes.

Your face is really freaking me out.

It's been a long day ya see.

Why are you panting so heavily?

Well like I said it's been a long day...

I'm sorry but both my parents have been away since last night.

Huh?!

I mean this is what happens when

you surprise us with home visits first thing in the morning.

Fair enough but could I at least get a glass of water from you?

Come on. I need you to open the door.

Please don't try and force your way in!

Oh gosh. That's not what I'm trying to do!

I'm just... really close to hitting my limit...

C'mon Miyake! Open up!

Miyake! Miyake! Miyake!

So damn annoying.

Miyake! Miyake!

Miyakeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

What's the big idea trying to barge into my house when I'm all alone?!

You... SICK FREAK!

On the next episode of Urusei Yatsura.

Tomobiki Shopping District

Open the Door

Part 2

Cool Down

WHAM!

SHOCK

THWACK!

SHUDDER

POW!

BASH!

KAWHACK!

SMOOSH!

The Next Day

The Home Visit Blues:

Prohibitive Miyake Edition

Miyake

To be continued in the

"Hellish Moroboshi Edition"

Haunted Mendo

Last Date