Original subtitles

Hey Nurse Sakura?

I think...

I'm being cursed!

Cursed?

Yeah. It's the only way to explain it.

I mean every guy who I come across is some kind of freak.

Shinobu my sweet!

I love youuuuuu!

So annoying!

Either that or a flat-out perv.

Shinobu babe!

Let's go out on a hot date!

I don't need your crap first thing in the morning!

Someone must have put a curse on me!

Well...

if that's truly the case then the evil aura of the curse would trigger a reaction.

I'm not picking anything up.

Relax. Your bad luck with guys isn't due to any curses.

What?

It's just...

your fate.

That's even worse!

You still have your whole life left ahead of you.

I'm sure the perfect person for you will show up someday.

I doubt it...

Don't be silly Shinobu.

Why would you be worried about that?

Your charms are bewitching.

Don't just plop yourself down in my lap you perv!

I'm sure the perfect person for you will show up someday.

She only said that to make me feel better.

Sigh.

What are the odds that I find a decent guy just lying around somewhere?

Oh dear.

Pardon me. Are you all right?

I... I could use some food...

Wow. He's my kind of guy!

Hold on a second! I can find something.

Wait that's just a raw... carrot...

Thank you! I feel much better now.

W-Well goodbye then.

Oh please wait!

Let me repay you.

No thanks.

But...

You don't need to!

Oh hey! I can pay you back with a date.

I said no!

Don't be shy. Come on let's enjoy a date!

I made myself clear...

What about "no" don't you understand creep?!

Huh?!

Just another perv on the list of guys I've met.

I guess this really is my fate...

A key?

That creep from earlier must have dropped it.

What are you up to?

Oh hey Lum.

Did you see a freak dressed like a rabbit fly off in that direction?

Yeah I did.

But he vanished into thin air after falling into a hyperspace hole.

He did?

Hey listen

This is rough my heart got attached to yours and can't be separated

Gazing into each other's eyes as we get tangled and untangled

Until I make you mine

Humans are so foolish

Modeling things after fantasies

Don't take it as being natural

And love me

You're longing for my presence huh?

Just divulge your true feelings

Because even if you hide them by acting cool

They're clear as day

You're fine as is

You don't have to change

I already know

So don't act tough

It's okay for you to show me just a little right?

Oh come on now

Even if I grumble about being lonely

You just poke fun at me

Why can't you actually pay proper attention to me?

Hey listen

This is rough my heart got attached to yours and can't be separated

Gazing into each other's eyes as we get tangled and untangled

I came to realize my feelings

It's not enough I need more time with you

I want us to live and laugh together

Craving each other's attention and then losing it has made me understand

This is my love!

Has it reached you?

Although I've been unable to put an arrow straight through your heart

Isn't this awesome?

What I want is to make you say that I'm unforgettable

And I don't care how many years into the future I have to wait

As long as I get to hear it

Inaba sure is late huh?

You'd think he would be on time for the annual cleanup.

I bet he collapsed from exhaustion after getting lost somewhere again.

Yeah. Inaba can't navigate worth crap when it comes to space-time.

Sorry for being late!

Took you long enough Inaba.

We were getting worried.

Well I was on my way but then I got lost and totally wiped out.

That explains it.

All right Inaba. It's time for the key.

Right.

Guess I lost i—

Inaba you idiot!

Wah! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

What does that key go to?

I have no idea.

The key of fortune!

It's incredibly important!

It can't fall into normie hands!

Or something horrible will happen!

Gosh that's not good!

That guy must be having trouble without his key.

What am I supposed to do about it?

There's no way for me to return it.

He's from hyperspace right?

Listen here. If some normie actually goes and uses the key of fortune...

What's gonna happen?

Never mind they have no way to use it.

What's she doing?

Building a door apparently.

It's finished!

Now use that key to open it.

This seems too easy.

Can this really get us into hyperspace?

Did you say hyperspace?!

Darling!

Wh-What the heck is all of this?!

Are you okay?

Far from it!

I guess we'll just go in here for now.

Huh?

Hey!

Where are we?

Is this hyperspace?

That looks like our school.

Is this Tomobiki Town?

Seems like it

Hey cutie! Hook me up with your digits and address!

Darling! Get back here!

Wait up!

Aw jeez!

This place doesn't scream "hyperspace" at all.

Oh my Shinobu!

Why hello. It's good to see you.

How long has it been?

That freaked me out...

Goodness!

Your son has really taken after Ataru hasn't he?

Hey c'mon! Pretty please?

Yes he's a little scamp.

Well sorry to take your time. Have a good one.

You as well!

That lady called her "Shinobu"...

and she looks a lot like me.

Yeesh it's so dusty in here.

Huh?

One of the doors is wide open...

Hey Inaba! Got a sec?

Yes?

I'm pretty sure this is the door that your key went to.

Yeah but I lost it.

How do you suppose it ended up open like this?

Probably because a normie used the key after picking it up.

Oh I see.

There's a good chance that a normie has found their way into the room of fortune.

W-We have a real disaster on our hands gentlemen!

This is an emergency!

They could have our heads for this!

Enough Kokeru!

No more picking on girls you hear me.

I swear you take after your father in the worst possibly ways...

Bye-bye!

Come along Kokeru.

Kay!

If she's "Shinobu"...

And her husband is "Ataru" then...

No way!

Ah! It's Grammy!

Hello Mother.

Oh it's little Kokeru and Shinobu!

Hello there. What were you up to?

Omg! That's Ataru's mom!

I was shopping with Mommy!

Am I in the future right now?!

Oh no! That means I'm going to end up married to Ataru!

My god. That's just awful.

Excuse me miss! You're not going to accept this fate are you?

Huh?! It's you again!

Who the heck even are you?!

Oh sorry. Here's my business card.

The "Fortune Manufacturing Office"...?

Well this clearly isn't hyperspace. Right?

Yeah.

Welcome what can I do ya for?

One bundle of daikon radishes. With the leaves please.

A bundle ya say?

Yes.

Hey isn't that Sakura's fiancé...?

Yeah that's Tsubame.

But why are those kids with him?

Thanks fer stoppin' by!

All right let's hurry home.

Mommy is waiting for us.

Okay!

What's going on?

That jackass!

He's cheating on Sakura!

We're home!

Mommy!

Hi honey.

Welcome home Tsubame.

Holy crap!

Darling! I think we're actually in the future right now!

Dammit! Not again!

Looks like those two got married without any problems!

No friggin' way!

Sakura! You've gotta reconsider!

Darling!

There's nothing to reconsider! They've already gotten hitched!

Screw that! I'm gonna break them up!

You must be tired.

Where are the kids?

Relaxing in their rooms.

Guess that leaves just you and me.

Oh Tsubame...

They haven't changed at all huh?

Shh!

Sakura...

Where the hell did you come from?!

Shh! They'll hear you!

I'll go over the details later.

O-Okay.

Greetings.

Go on. Don't mind us.

GET LOST YOU DAMN PEEPING TOMS!

Stop the car.

Yessir.

The Moroboshi house was somewhere around here right?

Yessir.

But if I may

I don't see the need for you as CEO

to personally handle the firing of one lowly employee like him.

Moroboshi has been a thorn in my side since high school.

So I wanted to cut all our connections myself.

Look out sir!

Sir! Is this someone you know?!

Actually I don't think so.

But I can't help myself when I see a stupid face like this.

My body just moves on its own!

Same old Mendo.

He hasn't changed.

Sir! It's Moroboshi!

What?! Hold it Moroboshi!

Me?

Darling!

Today is the day that I fire your sorry ass!

Hey. Who do you mean by Moroboshi?

The cubicle klutz of my company!

S-Say what now?

Why the hell would I ever work at your stupid ass company?!

It's dark! It's cramped! I'm scared!

I wonder what my darling of the future looks like!

Hey there.

Yo Lum. It's been a while.

Huh? Is that me?

Out shopping?

Yep.

How's life with the husband?

Huh?!

Same as ever.

D-D-Did they say "husband"?!

So I really don't end up married to my darling?!

Lum!

Welcome back Rei.

REI?!

Later.

Bye for now.

No! How could this happen?!

Golly! If it isn't Lummy-poo!

Look at you two getting all cozy.

Must be nice.

Oh h-hey Ran.

W-We're not doing anything special...

Hmph!

You still haven't tied the knot with anyone Ran?

Tie the knot...?!

I'M NEVER GETTING FRIGGIN' MARRIED!

Cuz I'm gonna spend the rest of my days

making sure that your lives are a LIVING HELL!

Ya know those kids look really familiar.

So uh...

This future is too damn bleak!

I refuse to accept it!

But the future is set in stone isn't it?

Absolutely not!

Are you happy with this future?

Is it what you want?

No...

Well there must be some way that the two of us end up together!

Right? Right?

Hey! Forget that crap!

Are you saying the future can be changed?!

Give me some credit!

Despite what you may think

I'm a petty clerk employed by the Fortune Manufacturing Office!

Who the hell are these guys?!

What're you doing?!

Welp. Now to figure out how to deal with them.

The worst-case scenario has come to pass

and a bunch of ordinary people have snuck into the room of fortune.

Goddammit! It's way too cramped in here!

Let us out!

You jerks!

I am now opening the floor to opinions on how we should deal with them.

Quit sitting there and drinking your damn tea!

Hey are you listening?!

Nobody treats us like this!

I think that we should banish them to the dead zone beyond dimensions.

We're gonna make you regret it!

Yeah what she said!

Let us outta here!

Maybe it would be better simply to drug them.

That would take too much time to prepare.

Okay! I think that settles it.

Go ahead. Come on out.

Are you sure?

Please have some tea.

Shucks! We're sorry about all the trouble.

Have some pastries.

Oh thanks. Don't mind if I do.

What's the big idea?

We have no other choice.

You've all been exposed to a vision of the future

that you were never meant to see.

Now we have to make sure that you forget it!

Hey! Back the hell off!

You're being tyrannical you guys!

Stay out of this Inaba!

But the only reason that we're in this mess is because of our own mistakes!

It's just wrong to push all the blame on these people and punish them for it!

Pop quiz!

Who lost the key of fortune?

Is it number 1: Inaba?

Number 2: Inaba?

Or number 3: Inaba?

Uh well...

This is all on you!

Don't you dare say it was "our" mistake!

Now take your lumps dammit!

Please noooooo!

Wait!

There's a door over there!

Great! Let's go inside!

Hurry! Grab onto me everyone!

I can teleport us!

Where are we now?

The locker room.

Let's see...

Please put this on.

And you two ladies use these.

Alrighty.

It looks great on you!

That just sounds like flattery.

No! I'm being serious!

Hey guys...?

What's the deal with these outfits?

They're the official uniforms of the Fortune Manufacturing Office.

Which means...

as long as you're wearing them

you can freely travel through space-time!

C'mon! Let's go!

Hey!

Hold on!

Where are you going?

We're going to create a new door!

But why do that?

Remember that future from earlier? You didn't like it right?

Huh?

Hey!

We can change the future right?

What're you planning?!

I wanna know why you and I didn't get married darling!

Beats me!

You're right.

I can tell that you've got a very kind heart.

And your two friends are fun to be around. Aren't they?

Yeah!

So listen!

We'll work together and make a new door just for you!

For example...

Congratulations Inaba!

You two look great together!

...a door that leads to world like this!

Wait a second!

This is happening a little too quickly for me!

But it would be far easier than

taking the time to go around checking each door one by one.

Are you saying all these doors are different worlds?

Of course we've manufactured a wide variety of futures!

The future isn't limited to just one!

Why didn't you say that earlier?!

That means one of these must lead to my dream future!

There has to be a future where I get married to my darling!

I'm gonna check it out.

Me too!

Hey wait!

Jeez they're such busybodies...

I guess they don't realize that finding an ideal future isn't so easy.

Well this future doesn't look very different from that other one.

Is that Ran?

Welcome home honey-bunny!

Ran!

Gosh I sure love my life!

Oh hell no!

Ran my swee—

Just leave them alone!

Argh let me go! I'm gonna show her the error of her ways!

Oh thank heavens!

My darling and I might actually be married in this future!

Ah what an elegant day.

It's Mendo.

We've been looking for you guys.

Stop the carriage.

Yessir.

It's been a long time since our last visit to Tomobiki Town!

Eh Moroboshi?

Indeed sir.

It's very nostalgic.

This brings back memories doesn't it Lum?

It sure does sweetums.

Ah! Isn't that you Shinobu?

Huh?

Shinobu my looooooove!

You're attractive even as a spinster!

Please marry me!

Enough! You obnoxious clown!

Oh yeah that's the stuff!

What do you say that we try a different door?

This is the same friggin' thing!

No it's not. Look closely.

See? That guy has a mustache now.

Next!

What's different about this one?

The wife is wearing black now!

Also look over there!

Shinobu my loooooove!

The freakazoid is wearing a wig.

WE'RE NOT HERE TO PLAY "SPOT THE DIFFERENCE" DAMMIT!

But you're the one who asked...

Next!

Hold up!

You still want to keep checking?

Obviously!

Where is the future where I'm the master of my own harem?!

Where is the future where I'm married to my darling?!

They don't know when to give up do they?

Seeing what they've seen would make anybody desperate.

I mean everybody wants to believe they have a bright future ahead you know?

Oh? I wonder what a bright future for you is like.

I'd love to see that myself.

My own bright future?

What could it be?

We're gonna open every door from top to bottom!

Yeah!

Aw jeez please just listen to me!

The cherry blossoms dance in this town where thunder roars

Hey hey when it comes to you

I just love you so so much that I can't help it

Seeing you watch the cherry blossoms suddenly fills me with sadness

How many more chances will I have to say "I love you" and "I'm yours"?

Hey how many times will I get to see the same spring as you?

Please flowers please flowers don't fall yet

Please spring don't end yet

Even if it's just for a little while longer

I want to be together with you no matter how selfish it is

Please flowers please flowers don't fall yet

Actually time should just freeze altogether

But the sun goes down in spite of my wishes

Blown along into tomorrow with the spring wind

So I smile and say to you "let's come again next year"

On the next episode of Urusei Yatsura!

Your damn guttermind is the reason that we never end up married darling!

NURSE'S OFFICE

POW!

POW!

Tomobiki Shopping District

Garbage Collection

Old TVs Fridges Radios Etc.

MUNCH

SHOOOOVE!

HAHAHAHAHA

HUDDLE

Hacchan Grocery

Cat Diner

SNUGGLE...

SMOOSH

CLENCH

KASLAM

BIFF!

POW!

FOOOOOOSH!

KERSLAAAAM!

Gunpowder

RABBLE

RABBLE

SNARL

SNARL

RANT

RANT

HAHAHAHAHA

WHAMO!

WHAMO!

SNATCH!

SWISH!

THWACK!

KERSMASH!

Open the Door

Part 1

Open the Door – Part 2

The Home Visit Blues:

Prohibitive Miyake Edition