Original subtitles

Shutaro darling!

Why hello ladies!

Shutaro is going to be my husband!

As if he's marrying me!

No ME!

Shutaro darling!

Take my hand in marriage!

No let me be your wife!

I don't mind getting hitched.

No pick me!

He's already got me!

It's a monster!

Whoa whoa whoa whoa!

Please calm down! Relax!

Oh honey bunny!

Congrats Mendo!

Hell naw! Nuh-uh!

NOOOOOO!

J-Just a dream...

Oh right.

I'm supposed to meet my fiancée today.

But nothing is set in stone yet.

I can turn her down.

That's my out.

I just have to say no!

There is nothing for me to fear!

As next in line to be head of the Mendo family...

I must face this with dignity.

You look most regal young master.

This seems like a bit much for a casual meeting.

It's not an engagement ceremony or anything.

Actually it is.

You both come from prestigious families.

So your father says that it's a no-brainer the two of you

will be engaged after this.

He did huh?

I dun wanna!

The young master has gone off the deep end!

Young master! Pull yourself together!

Argh! Get your hands off me!

Young master! Just calm down!

Miss Lum! Miss Shinobu!

We heard about everything from Ataru!

Being forced into a marriage that you don't want is ridiculous!

I'm totally against it!

Moroboshi told you...?

Come on. Hurry and get in here!

I'll handle the rest for you!

Moroboshi...

I owe you one.

Thank you!

Wahhhhhhhh! It's dark! It's cramped! I'm scared!

Aw jeez!

Young master! Come back!

Now then...

Shutaro's gone off the deep end you say?

Yes the instant he heard about the ceremony...

Father!

I'm ready! Let's hurry to the ceremony!

Man I thought my disguise was perfect...

How could you ever think they wouldn't notice?

Where is Shutaro?

Wahhhhhhhh! It's dark!

The target has been captured!

It's cramped! I'm scared!

Crud...

Come back some other day!

Phooey!

I'm not giving up yet!

What are you going to do now?

Plan B! I'll just go crash their meeting!

Let's review everything one more time before you meet your fiancé.

There are creatures called "men" that exist in our world.

And they are a different type of human from us women.

Hey there cutie-pie!

What's the matter milady?

I... I'm frightened.

I don't want to meet with any of these so-called "men"!

Well that's a problem...

You're scheduled to meet with your fiancé today.

Okay let's get that armor off you!

No way!

I'm never taking it off!

Boo-hoo boo-hoo boo-hoo!

She was really shaken to the core huh?

Anyone would be if THAT was the first guy they saw...

Dammit! If we ever see that punk again I'm going to shoot him full of holes!

Boo-hoo boo-hoo boo-hoo!

Guess what milady?

You also have a chance to meet your brother today!

But not looking like that.

My brother?

What is a "brother"...?

Well you see a brother is a man who...

A man?!

Don't worry!

Actually a brother is a special type of man that is different from the rest.

Different? In a freaky-deaky way?

Ugh what a pain!

Master Mendo has arrived!

Welcome welcome!

We've been waiting for you!

I'm Ton's father!

And I'm his mother.

It's a pleasure! I'm Shu's dad.

So where is the groom-to-be?

Wow! I'd expect nothing less from the future head of the Mendos!

He certainly leaves a strong impression.

If I may where is your daughter?

Still getting ready you know how hard it can be with girls!

Pardon me.

Oh sounds like she's here!

There's still hope! Even my dad will reconsider

once he catches sight of that metal lump of a girl!

Allow me to introduce my daughter Asuka.

I see that you handle her with square!

Come now Asuka.

Say hello to our guests.

Yeek!

My god I don't believe it...

your daughter's a real scene-steeler!

Shucks! This is a little awkward huh?

It's actually my first time seeing her in person as well.

Huh?! Whaddya mean "first time"?!

Such a jokester.

Your tea is ready.

No I'm serious!

Asuka!

Cutie-pie!

Wait for me!

That's who Mendo's getting engaged to?!

There must be a cute girl inside of that armor!

It's the only way to explain why my darling would bother with this!

Eeeek!

C'mon cutie-pie!

That little punk! He came back again!

Milady!

I found you!

Cutie-pie!

Daaaaaaaarling!

So this is who was under all that armor?

I just knew my darling was skirt-chasing again!

Exactly the cutie-pie I thought you'd be...

Come back milady!

She flew the coop...

Such a lonely day...

Eeek! Another man!

Aw jeez!

Watch what you're doing!

Pace pace. Pace pace.

Pace pace.

It's a girl!

Oh! That's great!

Guess what Ton? You've got a sister now!

Alright! Let me see my sweet little daughter!

Nope. You can't see her.

Huh? Don't joke around. I want to see her.

Like I said no can do.

I kept this a secret ever since you married into my family...

but the daughters of the Mizunokoji family

are not allowed to meet with any men until the age of 15

not even if it's their father or brother.

You've got to be joking.

It's no joke.

So it's really not a joke?

Not in the least!

It's crazy to think that she's gone her entire life

without ever meeting her father or brother...

Talk about absurd.

It's just plain cruel.

There's no way around it.

It's what our family custom dictates.

And now they want to marry off their outrageous daughter to me!

Don't be rude!

"Strong tall and robust!"

"Purely cultivated to be free of contamination!"

That is the motto all ladies of the Mizunokoji family follow.

I feel bad for her. Especially considering how cute sh—

Did you say "cute"?

We were all caught off guard when a super cute girl popped out of that armor.

Really now Moroboshi?

Say what?

Of course! I should've known there was a girl inside!

Eeek! Scary man!

No! Stay back!

What is your problem?!

I was just sitting here wallowing in a bit of loneliness

before you rudely interrupted me!

Yeeek!

Those are the same eyes as mine.

Could this person be...?

Hello?

Please wake up.

Ow.

I knew it!

Your eyes are like mine?

That can only mean...

You must be...

a fellow girl!

Flop!

I mean why else would we have matching eyes?

You must be the same type as me!

I apologize for my rudeness.

I was just overcome with fear that you were a man...

Wait a damn minute! How does me being a girl make any sense?!

Huh?

Does that mean you're... a man?

Yeah! Take a good look!

I'm a MAN!

Yeeek! Scary man!

I knew something felt off.

Since there's no way that a no-good stinker like you

would try to call off the engagement just to help me.

For shame Ataru.

Darling!

I don't understand.

Why did that person have the same eyes as me?

How could a man look like that?

Among the many different kinds of men there is one known as a "brother."

And despite being male

a "brother" is actually the same type of person as you are milady.

They are one of the safe varieties of men who will never attack you.

Then could that have been... my brother?

Asuka baby!

Don't play hard to get!

Cut it out!

That girl is MY arranged wife-to-be!

She sure is!

So why the hell are YOU chasing her?!

Good question! Why are you standing here NOT chasing her?

Get going Mendo!

Wahhhhhhhh! It's dark!

Jeez darling!

It's cramped! I'm scared!

Not so fast!

Thank heavens.

He's not following me.

Allow me to lend you a hand.

Are you okay fair maiden?

G-Gosh you're pretty.

It's nice to meet you. I'm—

You poor thing. Don't be afraid.

Somebody help me!

Have no fear! I shall keep you safe fro—

Hey cutie-pie!

So that girl from earlier must be my sister.

She was really cute.

I want to protect her.

Hey cutie-pie!

Dammit! You bastards!

Stay away!

Holy crap. Those elephant tranquilizers really do the trick.

Looks like the ceremony is back on!

Shutaro! Come along now!

Where are you?

Eeeeek! Scary man!

Wh-What's this?

Don't worry dear. All the frightening men...

have been chained up tight as you can see.

Not cool!

I don't deserve the same treatment as Mendo!

Hey I'm the one being wronged here!

How can you treat the future head of the Mendo family like this?!

It's an outrage!

What's so funny?!

I was crying.

At this rate Asuka is going to fear men for the rest of her life

and will be forced to constantly flee from them.

Then what's making you so happy?

I'm sad.

Oh really?

Asuka dear.

Please understand this is a major turning point in your life.

You cannot run away from it.

But Mother...

This is a trial that all women of the Mizunokoji family

must some day face and overcome.

I also worked hard to conquer my own phobia.

And eventually got married with your handsome father here.

Uh I wouldn't call that a happy ending.

Her perception of men is so messed up she thinks that scribbleface is "handsome".

We can't let that cutie Asuka suffer the same fate!

I must step up and save her!

Okay I think the youngsters can handle it from here.

We better leave before we cramp their style huh?

You're absolutely right!

Now then Ton.

We're leaving Asuka in your hands.

You're her big brother so you have to give her your full support.

Okay.

Don't worry Asuka.

I'm never gonna let that loser Shu take you from us!

Big Brother!

Well good luck and all that.

What the hell jackass?!

Nobody gets away with terrorizing my little sister!

That's not going to solve anything!

Guys aren't scary at all trust me!

But I...

Look! You can get away with doing anything to them!

Cut it out!

You're supposed to smile darling!

You're making me look like some kinda stooge!

See? There's nothing scary about them!

P-Please no! He's creeping me out!

Let me put your mind at ease.

This idiot here is a special type of UGLY man not often seen.

You wanna bet on that?

Moroboshi you bastard!

This guy is way uglier than me!

Enough! No more of your crap!

You're just scaring Asuka!

Big Brother...

Quit pretending!

You're the biggest freak out of all of us!

Don't be ridiculous!

So cool.

Come on! Check out his mug!

What did you say?!

They have him wrapped up in chains?

Yes ma'am.

How awful... my poor brother.

Ready the horse!

Yes ma'am!

Ka-plop!

In any case we're not going to accomplish anything stuck like this!

Indeed.

From what I can tell these chains are only attached to the wall.

All right.

They're about to learn what the future head of the Mendo family...

is really made of!

Yeeek! Stay away!

We're not really in a position...

...to change course!

D-Darling...?

Wahhhhhhhh! It's dark! It's cramped! I'm scared!

It's dark! It's cramped! I'm scared!

Oh no Mendo!

I hope you're not hurt Miss Asuka!

Are you okay Asuka?!

I'm always going to be there to protect you!

Oh Big Brother...

Whoa time out.

Her extreme androphobia was bad enough but now...

...she's developed a big brother fetish.

Miss Asuka! You need to face your demons!

And that goes double for you! Sicko!

What are you talking about?!

It takes a real perv to put the moves on their own sister!

When did I put any moves on her?!

You might not have intended to...

but just look at Miss Asuka's face.

You see!

Those are the eyes of a girl in love!

YOU BETTER FIX THIS DAMMIT!

Huh?!

We can't blame him.

Even though they're blood siblings

it doesn't change the fact they've been apart for their whole lives.

They're basically unrelated.

How do you feel?

A little dizzy.

And actually oddly thirsty...

That's gotta be love!

Yep. Physical reactions like that don't lie.

Argh! This can't be happening!

She's blushing!

She's definitely in love!

You fools! She's just embarrassed because her stomach growled!

This is what happens when you run around all day without eating anything.

I was worried things might turn sinful for a second there.

Only because of you jokers!

That's enough of that!

No more hiding behind your brother missy!

I know it's tempting to rely on your brother but you can never get married to him.

Huh?

What do you mean I can't get married to him?

By the way what does "marriage" mean?

Sneaky-sneak.

Oh dear Brother!

I'm here to save you!

Dear Brother! Where are you?

Say something!

Gimme a break.

Oh my!

"Marriage" is when two people who love each other enter into a long relationship.

Um would you mind telling me more?

Well to be specific...

I'm so glad you're okay dear Brother.

A-Actually I was doing just fine until you showed up.

Do you get it now?

Yes!

The reason why my big brother hasn't attacked me

is because we can't get married right?

Have you had a breakthrough Miss Asuka?

Great! Now the two of us can have our ceremo—

Yeeek! Scary man!

I thought you were against getting engaged!

Get a grip Brother!

Huh?

"Brother"?

You should have just told me that you were a big brother!

I was convinced that you were a man.

Brother?

Life as a brother... is rough.

Hang in there Big Brother!

Dear Brother!

I guess that ship has sailed.

Yep.

On the next episode of Urusei Yatsura.

Darling... how do you feel about cows?

Maiden

Eek!

Eek!

Eek!

Eek!

Eek!

RUMBLE

Bwahahaha...

The Continuation Of: That Mizunokoji Girl

Wahhhhhhhh! It's dark!

It's cramped! I'm scared!

WRAP

Mizunokoji Estate

MEN

Maiden

BOO-HOO

BOO-HOO

BOO-HOO

HAHAHAHAHA

SHUDDER

KERSMASH!

BONK!

KABLOOOOOEY!

KLUNK

YEEEEEEK!

ZAP

WHAM!

HAHAHAHAHA

RIPPP!

Meanwhile

SMACK!

MEN

FLING!

SMOOOSH!

SHOVE!

SHOVE!

HAHAHAHAHA

CLANG

SWOOON

GROOOOOOOOWL

KABOOM!

KABLAM!

Kotatsu Love

Lum Becomes a Cow

The Home Visit Blues:

Luxurious Mendo Edition