Original subtitles

Take the alleys, Allen.

I don't wanna get mobbed like last night by my fans.

Oh, being the most famous stripper in America is such a bother.

Oh, well.

It's a burden I must bear.

Music, Ellen.

Alan, I need you.

Hello, baby?

Hello. My name is Fuzzy Freddy.

What would you like to talk about boys and girls?

Well, fuck you, Fuzzy Freddy.

I got an important elbow going all the way.

It's it's about fallout.

Damn. I just can't do it.

What am I doing wrong?

Try pulling your shoulders back.

A little more like this, Vancichem. Look. Look. Finally.

Hardly with the effort.

Watch it, bitch. We're all knock your ass dead.

Of course, it's probably gonna turn off already.

Deck shits. Turning tricks on par vengeance is my bet.

Why do you think they call a Trixie?

Watch your mouth, Nicole.

Just because you put your mouth in deep freeze ain't no reason

to put the rest of us down.

So she's saving it for my neck.

In I guess you won't need it. I mean, just rip it out.

Back off, bitch.

Stop it, girl.

Sorry. I'm gonna go straight.

The sour Stevens coming up the stairs.

Damn. I better go see what he wants. Take over Elliot.

Delighted, darling.

Alright, girls.

Put those fried eggs out in your baskets,

and we're gonna work out.

Alright, Becky.

Alright. Wake up, Marie, and hit the music box.

Hi, Steven.

How you doing? Mm-mm.

Can I get you something to drink underneath?

No. Thanks.

I brought my

We came to discuss business.

Oh, well, we're moving along just fine.

Moving along? But in what direction?

I mean, when you came to me eight months ago and you asked to use

my building for your school for strippers,

I thought it was a sound business idea.

Push it up. Stand. Get up. Swing. Swing.

Swing. Swing. Swing. Swing. Swing. Swing. Swing. Swing.

Swing. Swing.

Alright.

Now you're in, and I find out that you don't charge your girls.

But I do charge.

I get twenty percent of everything they make when they get a job.

But you can't ask for more than that. It's got great potential.

Oh, you even said so yourself.

I lied.

And that's before I found out what your lovelies are up to.

I mean, that Trixie, she does two nights in El Monte, and,

miss mini ticks jumps out of the cake every six weeks,

and that, the fringing one, McCall,

she's just taking the course so she can bag herself a rich husband.

Honey, that's not the way to do business.

When you work, you get paid.

That's the way it goes.

Your twenty percent of their pay wouldn't pay for the light

bulb in the toilet, which, by the way,

is where you're gonna end up.

We'll go behind and back to the front lawn.

We both ran and cried.

Now as of today, you owe me four Oh, yeah.

By the way, we owe Murray a big Murray?

That bald headed bastard. He can't even play the piano.

All he's interested in is drinking coffee.

Okay.

If I don't see some serious money soon,

you're all gonna be out of your ass.

Steve, please.

Talk to buy the baby. Roll baby. Roll baby.

Roll baby. Roll baby. Roll baby. Roll baby.

Miss Little Elm,

business setback shouldn't affect our relationship.

Move in with me.

Me. We've been all over that.

I haven't been all over that.

Oh, all done. Oh, that was fun. Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought you would've been long by now,

But of course you are.

Why don't you go clean up your act?

Well,

you finally had a good idea, Stevie Poop.

Yes. It's me for the shower. Put your eyes back to soccer.

Bye y'all.

Goddamn pantsy.

Look at them, Steven. How could you?

Easy.

All you have to do to remember, little lady, is what?

Goddamn you, Adam.

I'm not Adam. I'm Adam.

That's definitely Adam. Adam's got bigger buns.

That's Hadamard, old magic fingers himself.

Back off, magic fingers. I ain't no goddamn deck of cards.

Well, excuse me. I forgot.

I'm not rich enough for you, am I?

Got that right.

Well, I can't really tell. Are you sure you're Adam?

Oh, yes. You're definitely Adam. So where's Adam?

Goddamn it. There he is. He was putting the sign back up.

The damn thing fell down again.

Had to fight a drunk for some of the letters.

Sorry, mister Steerwall.

Sorry, my ass.

You just stay away from me, you little punk.

I've seen the way you act around these girls.

I think you're as queer as that Flynn who just went into the shower.

My brother likes girls. Alright?

He's just scared of them, aren't you, Adam?

I respect him, Adam.

Piss all this shit.

I'm sorry I haven't gotten involved with any of you loonies.

You all belong in a zoo. But I'll tell you one thing.

If you don't come up with some serious cash soon, within

thirty days, your asses are gonna be out here.

Thirty days, Becky.

Remember.

Don't let letters fall on your head, mister Stirlwall.

And what's up for the drunk?

I'm sorry, Becky. Everything will be over here.

Oh, hello, Adam. I'm not Adam. I'm Adam.

Whatever.

Individually, you're gorgeous.

Collectively, you haven't ruined old Queen's fantasies.

What's wrong with everyone around here?

Steven's shutting the school down. What?

He's given us thirty days to show a profit or else we're out on the street.

Oh, honey. I've been on the street so often.

I take tokens and give transfers.

Elliot, this is no time for jokes.

Not to worry. All we have to do is making some money. Right?

How are we gonna make money?

We've gotta get these girls good paying jobs?

We just put these ladies to work, get you some more.

What I need is a solution.

Ask yourself, what would Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland do in their movies

when faced with a situation such as this?

Kick the shit out of Steven?

Mickey and Judy, honey, not Charlie Bronson.

I know. We watched one of the movies just last night.

Remember how?

He was busy in the bedroom, but I watched him.

And what did they say when the going got tough at him?

Let's put on a show.

Did you hear that, darling?

What we do is put on a show with what we have right here.

Remember, I still have connections.

I'll get us a club.

I'm only talking one night,

a showcase for you and all your lovelies for all the top

stripper agents and club owners.

We'll come away from that club with enough booking commitments

to hoist Stephen on his own petard or my petard.

Oh, Elliot, can you really do that?

Certainly.

Remember, until I got caught with the senator's nephew, I was,

heavily connected with all the top choreographers in New York

City.

Oh, Ellie, you crazy queen. It just might work.

Well, I'm sure it will.

Now, go take a shower yourself.

You smell like a girl.

I got so excited. I need another shower.

You care to join me?

I fell asleep out there.

Anybody wanna get a cup of coffee?

Want a towel, Murray?

No, thanks. Just a cup of coffee.

I'm gonna go see if the girls need more towels.

They all got towels, Adam.

They may need more, Adam.

Hope you don't wrote them the wrong way.

I'll go get the trash out of an inch

oh, leave Elliot alone.

That's not a man. That's a hat.

A dirty hat. Dirty, man. Rub it, girl.

I'm not dirty.

I'm just

filthy.

You get his head. I'll watch the other end.

Jones McCall?

I'll name this icebox alone, dreams and millionaires.

Alright, Alan.

Sponge.

Helen, I need you.

Come on, Pop. The door was open.

Somebody's bound to be right back.

Besides, can't we just wait a few more minutes?

Honey, a good girl like you shouldn't be hearing for a few seconds.

Now, baby, when I sold the hog farm back home so as I could buy you them

professional dancing and acting lessons,

it wasn't so you'd end up in some hoochie coochie house.

What? It's called erotic dancing.

I don't give a damn what you call it. I'm a get it.

And even if I wasn't, you don't know nothing about it.

Now come on. Let's go.

It says right here that they'll teach me for free, and then

they'll get me somewhere.

Honey, I told you and told you there ain't nothing in this world for free.

Besides, I don't want you working taking off your clothes.

Now what would your mama say?

Mama's dead pot, and so is our bank account.

You're not gonna get your job back.

They'll really marry you down at the carbon paper factory.

I asked you not to bring that up.

You know how much it upsets me.

Them narrow minded bastards fire me just because I'm

running a little book during coffee breaks and lunch hours.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to upset you.

I'm just glad those bullies wouldn't let you come home.

But you've got to admit we need the money.

Well, yeah. I do admit that.

Oh, if only miss Becky would take me.

I just know I could be a really good exotic dancer.

Don't do that.

What would you do if somebody was done?

Hi.

Hi. Hello.

I'm Allison.

I'm Adam.

This is my pup.

You working this dumb boy?

My brother? He's had them.

I don't think he's got a full six pack in his carton, daughter.

Let's get out of here.

Alvin, when Becky comes in,

will you tell her I've gone to hello.

I'm Elliot Penelope. And you are? Allison.

Allison, you're lovely, my dear.

Say you, come to join our group and make an old queen happy.

Miss Becky, well, take me, mister Penelope.

Becky,

you're lovely.

Just wait till she sees you. Becky, Becky, come out.

I'm not sure where you are.

Oh, that's it. We're getting out of here.

The place is full of loonies and perverts and tits.

I'm sorry, daughter. I meant to say knock her.

I mean, boobs. Fuck.

Becky, this is Allison, your new protege.

And unless I missed my guess, your passport,

I'll just tell Allison, this is Becky.

Uh-huh. Hi. It's very nice to meet you. Hi.

Oh, that's Adam.

I know.

He's not Adam. Well well, Adam hasn't.

Hasn't what?

Adam's Adam.

Well, I'm happy to meet you, Allison.

I'm happy to meet you too. Thank you.

This is my pop.

Alright. Hi, Pop.

Glad to make your tits. I mean, your tits nice to meet you.

I I

Oh, Allison, I heard that you wanna join our group.

Oh, I sure would. I I really love that.

Well, let's see if you can move as good as you look.

Anybody got a dollar?

There's a special on Bulgarian coffee up the street.

Why don't you just shoot that shit in your veins, Marie?

It'd be faster.

Anybody got a syringe?

Didn't I place a bet with you a couple of months ago during a

coffee breakdown at the carbon paper factory?

Is there a lady over there with nothing on her knockers?

Actually, I want a ten spot on a two dollar show bed,

but you sure had lousy coffee.

Mary. Mary. The music box.

We've a new talent to audition.

Them your dream machine, Sunny.

Oh, yes.

Yeah. I got that right here.

Well, there, Betty. Come on.

Let's go watch Allison start her stuff.

Place is fucking immoral.

I'm Adam.

This is Allison, Adam.

Wow.

A new lady.

Alright.

If you see anything at all around here you like, you just

let have know.

Okay, sweetheart?

But I like Adam.

Well, alright, Adam.

Alright.

That's

it.

That's it. Everybody. Oh, Becky. Becky.

With you and the other girl and Allison, we can whip up a

terrific review.

I haven't been so thrilled to love and panic. It must be.

Guess who I've just been on the phone to?

Give up?

Well, none other than Bob Corley, owner of the Shea

Bob Revive.

And it's more important to be even poker of all the top class

grip acts in the US of A and Europe.

Bob Corley.

Yes. Exactly, sweet.

And we have an audition at his house tomorrow afternoon.

We just may be able to tell old straight Steven to go fuck himself.

Tomorrow? Well, there's not enough time.

Allison needs some more strap rehearsal time.

Oh, frog feathers the way this child moves.

It's a piece of cake. Trust me, sweets.

Mister Penelope,

I've never stripped before.

I'll save you for last.

All you have to do is watch these other girls do what they

do, and you'll be fine.

Oh, Adam, go bring my station wagon

around front and make sure the tire is fluffed up.

Oh, there's an old costume queen down in Venice who owes me one

if she hasn't forgotten,

and that one's gonna be to costume all you girls for an

appearance at the Chez Barberi Bob.

Hey, come. Sweet. Let's go. I've got to talk to you.

Right. Now listen, honey.

I can't

Waste of goddamn funny farm. How do you stand it?

I just drink a lot of coffee.

The caffeine flushes everything out of my head. Come on.

There's a special down on the corner.

All the coffee you can drink so long as the paper cup holds up,

you'll feel better tomorrow.

Come on.

Tomorrow,

You've been in there in the shitter, man.

They got a gold bullet in there.

The only thing I know is they don't have a coffee pot in there.

Alright. Listen. I'm, I'm gonna have to call you back.

Elliot, Bobby, it's been too long, pal.

Yes. It has.

Love, you made beautiful.

Listen.

I'm sorry to have to drag you out here this time of the

night, but it's been one of those days.

You know what I mean?

Think nothing of it, Bobby.

You remember Becky, and these are her girls.

Hi. I'm McCall.

I'm McCall.

Are you a millionaire?

You're gonna have to check with my accountant on that one, honey.

Why is your accountant a millionaire?

Down McCall. Adam, where's Allison?

That's Adam. Adam's over there with Allison.

What was that?

Allison, hurry.

Oh, I guess we should go join the others now.

Okay.

I just love men with gray hair and blue eyes.

Adam, goddamn it.

Allison, this is Bob Corley.

Bob Corley Allison.

Hi, Allison.

Nice to meet you.

He's a millionaire.

Maybe he's a count of ten. Shit, my call.

Play another tune.

Well, the one tune takes talent.

Why don't you go play squawk tag in a catspatch, Mitch?

Maybe it'll make your tits grow.

Children, children,

please come.

It's time for the audition.

Becky, you'll start off and then drag Pete to her underwear as quick as this one.

Hey.

Didn't you used to make book over there at the car with paper factory?

I'm gonna tell you something, mister.

You look too hard on my daughter's knockers.

I'm gonna take out my knife and carve you into poop shoes.

Bobby? Bobby, we're about ready.

I feel so light and gay.

You hit it, Murray.

This is Catalyzing Trixie, Bobby.

Barbie, Barbie don't miss the dance of the blue whale.

The pride of Pigdilly, the meretricious miss McCall.

Alright, Bobby. We've saved the very best for last.

I'm so nervous, mister Penelope.

I told you I never stirred before.

No nonsense. Just do what the others did. You look so pretty.

Murray, magic time.

Now

take it off.

She ain't never gonna shed them threads.

Sorry. I just can't.

I thought I could do it, but I just can't.

Oh, you just ruined everything, and you guys are so nice.

Hey.

That's alright.

Bob.

For a minute there, I thought you had a hell of a review.

Bob, Bob, we can work with Alice.

The rest of the girls are soon fine.

Elliot, it just didn't work for me. Okay? I'm sorry.

You know, if you could get that girl to work,

maybe add something special.

I don't know. Look. I I don't have time for this.

I gotta get down to the club, Elliott.

You're gonna have to excuse me.

The ice has melted, Rose.

Look. I've gotta leave.

Would you do me a favor and show these people a way out?

It's the same way they came in,

and it's about time for my soap operas.

Bob, don't do this to the girls.

Please give them another shot.

Elliot,

alright.

I'll tell you what.

If you can get that girl to work and add something really

special, okay, I'll take a look at the act one more time.

Fair enough?

Oh, oh, I'll I'll do it. She'll do it. We'll do it.

We'll do it.

Elliot, for God's sakes, your makeup's getting all over me.

Will you stop crying?

Now listen. I've gotta go.

You've got my number. Okay? You give me a call.

Good job, Becky.

See you soon, mister millionaire.

Elliot, I told you she needed more rehearsal time. Trust me.

It's a piece of cake. My ass.

Becky, wanna get a cup of coffee?

No time, Rory.

I've gotta perform a miracle in less than thirty days.

I tell you, Becky, you got twenty nine days.

And from what I've seen, you ain't ever gonna make it.

Steven, you asshole. Yeah. I'm gonna be back. Yeah.

I'm late, sleepbo.

Twenty nine fucking days, Becky.

Do take it off. Don't listen to your pappy.

Take it off, baby. Making old queen happy.

Drop your panties, dear. Oh, don't be so inept.

You got the right ear to show them some skin.

Don't be so shy, dear.

It's really

I just can't.

Mister Penelope, I told you I just can't.

Allison, please show us your proof.

Come on, Allison.

You can do it. No. I can't. I I just can't.

Oh.

Sick piss and corruption.

Damn it.

This place is stellar. Fucking disaster, are you?

Listen, honey.

You've only got fifteen days. Why don't you give it up?

Another thirty days. Please, Steven?

No. Wait. Fifteen days, and that's it.

Why don't you move in with me?

Most girls will bust their asses for an opportunity like that.

Straight Stevens junkyard of busted asses.

How charming.

Oh, here comes the resident douchebag.

Fuck off, you nelly.

Never anyone is skinny as you, sweet Steven.

Now why don't you sleep off?

This lady and I have business to discuss.

I own this place, banana sucker.

I'll stay here as long as I want.

Oh, you get almost cute when you get angry.

Why don't you fuck off, fairy breath?

Fairy breath?

Oh, like Wanda, the good witch of the west.

So I wave my magic wand that you make you disappear.

K. Okay. Alright. Alright. I'm leaving.

But remember, Becky, fifteen fucking days.

It's too bad he's so sleazy.

Well, sweet. How's Allison's progress?

I'm afraid there's no progress at all, Elliot.

It's some sort of something. I don't know. It's a new brain.

Brains in a female ball has been a problem.

Of course,

I've never known a woman who couldn't strip when she wanted to.

But my opinion,

all women should be hypnotized for they won't take their clothes off.

Hypnotized?

Well, that's it.

Why didn't I think of that sooner?

You know, Betty Bigone's used to have the same problem.

Betty Bigone had difficulty taking her clothes off.

Shut. I don't believe it.

She did.

You know, she couldn't even show her tits to her doctor.

And hypnotism cured her? Well, how? Tell mother.

Well, I don't know.

Just like an old lover of mine.

Lead me to the brink and then

then nothing.

Elliot, what are we gonna do?

Don't worry, sweets. I'll just give her a call.

Is there anyone's number that you don't have?

Well, there was this cute sailor once in Atlantic City.

Alright, Alan.

Music, Alan.

It's alright, Alan. I'll get it.

Hello?

Betty, sweet. This is Elliot Penelope.

Elliot, so good to hear from you. Are you keeping it up?

My keeping it up isn't a problem, Betty.

I've got a girl who can't get it off.

I never had that problem.

Oh, Becky said you did.

Getting your clothes off, that is.

Said something about hypnotism.

Oh, you mean my case of cold tit?

That was a tough time in my life. I tried everything.

Welcome to the Davoir Diet Institute where the elite meet

to watch what they eat.

Now we are going to take all your clothes off,

and I'm going to examine you from head to toe.

And after that, I'm going to examine you again.

Why you didn't examine me twice?

You should always have a second opinion.

Oh, that makes sense.

Oh, I can't.

Oh, don't stop now, miss big ones.

I don't feel right. Yeah. I should.

I mean, after all, you are a doctor, aren't you?

Oh, I'm a graduate.

Some come loudly.

Quackling University of Medicine, class of sixty nine.

I mean, if you can't trust your doctor, who can you trust?

Oh, that's what I always used to say when I was a

gynecologist, a proctologist, a tree surgeon.

Oh my god.

Then I can't.

No. No. I just can't.

Quick, Betty. Don't keep me in suspense.

What the doctor suggest?

Wonderful. Wallow. Wallow. Diet.

Now I'm supposed to have,

leafy green vegetables all day tomorrow.

Well, I got celery, spinach, lettuce.

That sounds so boring.

Show me your zucchini.

You want zucchini?

Well, I got your zucchini hunter right here.

Oh.

Oh, that's a nice zucchini.

Kinda skinny, but it's long enough and firm

enough to do the job.

I'll bring it over tonight.

Yoo hoo, Edna.

Come here and look at this man's zucchini.

Your diet bombed.

Well, I got plenty where that came from.

Dear, think of diet, Betty, diet.

Jose. My girlfriends are right. You're nothing but a quack.

Oh, Betty. Please give me another chance.

No. Please, Betty. No. Please, Betty. No.

No. Oh, dear.

Well, oh. Here. Here.

I wasn't going to share you with any other doctor,

but I hear that this one is really sharp.

Doctor Sohang, acupuncturist. Hello. I'm Betty Big Winds.

Oh, thank you for coming in.

Are you hung? Like an ox.

But hypnotism finally worked.

Here's what happened. You mean you want me to see a shrink?

I guess I have a bad case of cold tits.

A little music might help. It does at the club.

I agree.

You need music, but I want you to watch the moving object.

Just relax and empty your mind.

You did that so quickly and loudly, my dear.

Now I want you to concentrate.

You will do as I say.

I want you to lose all your inhibitions.

Forget where you are.

When you hear this music, I want you to take it off.

Take it all

off.

Betty,

do you really think this is gonna work?

We'll soon find out.

My chauffeur's bringing Elliot and the doctor who hypnotized

me here right now.

Goddamn it. I said forget the doctor.

Ain't no quack putting his hands on my little girl.

I

goddamn.

Would you like a pair?

I learned a long time ago how to keep a man's attention.

He's not gonna interfere, Allison.

Forget papa, man. What about you? What do you want?

Well, right now,

you're all the most important people in my life.

Besides,

it's the fastest way I can think of to make some money.

Adam, I really wanna dance.

Okay. Then bring on that doctor. Dance.

Everyone, may I present doctor Lucifer Chaser?

Goddamnest thing I ever seen in life.

We found the doctor at the old folks home down near the beach.

Yeah.

Well, there I am performing, see,

post geriatric sexual therapy for the sexually impaired over

the age of seventy six.

But then I hear it was you, miss Big Ones. I come running.

Now how is you?

I see you are still possessor of the Big Ones.

Well What's going on here?

Who's this freaky looking fucker?

I remember when you possessed a big one.

Uh-huh.

Oh, Lucifer, we got a problem.

This is Allison.

Now next week, you're Likewise.

I'm sure.

Now would you, mind letting the good doctor have a look? Yeah.

Well, the tip of the neck's so gross. Not too big, you see.

But they are still worthy of the tit examination.

Now my dear, if you will say, they are.

Hey. What are you doing, you sick son of a bitch?

She ain't no goddamn radio.

Now you keep your hands off her, I'll break your arm.

Well, I was just You heard him.

Keep your hands off her, or or I'll break your face.

He's a doctor, and it's alright.

Are you sure?

Well, I certainly am.

He cured me. Remember?

Okay.

What? Watch it bullshit. You don't watch it.

You don't take it. You don't do nothing. Oh, oh. Very bad.

Lucifer, my own form of hypnotism.

Well, now would somebody please describe the problem before this

this man comes alive?

Allison freaks out when she tries to strip,

just like me when I had my cape of colt hit.

Do you think you can help her like you did me?

Okay. Now I want everybody to be absolutely quiet, please.

Now, my dear, would you mind sitting down, please?

Alright.

Now here is what we're gonna do.

You're gonna watch the moving object.

Yeah?

You watch the moving object.

See, back and forth, back and forth.

Are you concentrating, Allison?

Yes, doctor.

Yeah. You like the music, Allison?

Music maestro.

I ain't sure I'm gonna be able to take this.

And now the greatest test in the Northern Hemisphere,

miss Betty Digvois.

You were wonderful.

Wake up, Pop, and get yourself a drink.

Bobby and I have business to discuss.

Marie? Marie, the show is over. Oh, I'm so excited.

Elliott, that was a great show. I'll tell you this.

Allison, she's everything I hoped she'd be.

And Betty, my god.

Just unbelievable.

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna book this act into the shave, ob,

or rebob a week from Friday.

And if the show that I see then is half as good as what I saw today,

I'll be able to book this act all around the United States

for as long as you wanna work.

And at your price.

Fantastic.

Nice to have you with us, Betty.

I'll see you both on Friday.

Darling, I didn't think that he would think that you were in the show

with us.

But since he does betting, darling,

would you

would you

do you think you could see your way to

working with me?

Calm down. You're gonna pee in your pants. Of course, I will.

It'll be fun.

Besides, I was getting a little bored with my chauffeur.

Oh.

Damn, that's good beer.

Oh, shit.

I don't even remember when I was hypnotized.

Every time I heard that song, I would start to strip.

I hope that doesn't happen to Allison.

Maybe the barber stopper lady quit.

What do you mean unhypnotizer?

Don't any of you realize that this show on Friday night is

the best break that any of us, other than Betty,

have had in years.

I'm afraid Elliot's right.

If we blow this up fat rat's ass.

My daughter can't take no more of this.

But it's only four more days until the Che Bobbery bomb.

Well, maybe we could just wait.

No way. We can't wait.

Elliot, you gotta have Ellen drive you and find Lucifer.

Elliot, I'm sorry, but I just can't do this anymore.

Okay.

Okay.

I'll go fetch the good doctor. That's just that.

We will suppose.

Oh, Elliot. It'll be alright. It still might work out.

Remember, when things get rough, we just have to pick

ourselves up and let ourselves go.

Goddamnest thing I ever seen.

Alright.

I'll be back as soon as I can get Alan, Alan,

to drive me to Ringo Factory.

Yoo hoo, Alan.

Well, in the meantime,

we have to keep Allison away from that music.

And that means no radios or tape players.

It's gonna be all over soon, daughter.

You're just trying to relax now.

Good advice, Allison.

Why don't you take a nice hot shower while we're waiting?

It always relaxed me.

Thanks, Betty. I think I will.

I'm so sorry that I've been such a problem.

I've got an inside deal on some hot coffee beans from

Brazil.

Shove them goddamn beans up your ass,

you bald headed tallywagger.

Anybody got a couple of bottles?

Adam,

are you really here

or just part of my fantasy?

I'm real and part of your

At first, I panicked when I couldn't find him at the wrinkle factory.

But then as we were driving away,

Alan spotted him next door behind the chicken takeout place.

Yeah.

He was going through the garbage cans, for God's sake,

looking for old chicken bones, he said.

Well, ill winds be blowing.

But the magic chicken bones is necessary to foretell the future,

and I hope to plan the perilous journey that's gonna help get

me out of this goddamn bad stuff.

Alright. I'm sick and tired of all this bullshit.

Can you hypnotize my daughter or can't you? Bad. Bad.

Oh, yeah.

You mean you can't help her?

That's a different matter.

But of course I can help you, Lipshin.

But I must hurry, Maxdell.

You see, in a case like this Everybody freeze.

Police. I have a license to operate this way.

If you hear about the senators,

let's just I ain't run no fucking mud.

Hold on. I'm really hard on the strip and public anymore.

If it's about me and my chauffeur at the backseat of my

limo Hold it.

Hold it. It's not any of you we're after.

We're after this would be shrink that we've been chasing for months.

Lucifer?

What did he do wrong?

We got a warrant for his arrest.

He's been forcing senior citizens into pagan orgies down

at the seniors club.

Not like that. He had him screwing.

The local clergy came in for prayer meeting the other day

and found a place full of wall to wall old naked bodies humping away.

Enough to make you barf.

Fell those old bodies was having the most fun they ever

had since they become them old bodies.

And who are you to decide?

Society doesn't think that old folks and orgies go together.

One woman still got false teeth bites all over her body.

On your feet, Lucifer chaser.

Oh, well, I should have done one.

The chicken bones, they never lie.

Oh, Lucifer, wait.

Lucifer, wait.

Can we have a moment, please?

Sure. Make a quick.

What about Allison?

Well, as I was about to say, this is a classic case of desire reversal.

I don't understand.

Oh,

thank you, chicken boss.

Wait. Remember.

Grab that big boob, Murphy.

I know.

It ain't going anywhere, Kellan.

Not that boob, you idiot. The one that just ran out the door.

Stop. Goddamn it.

Because once I like to walk into this fucking place,

I'll get knocked on my ass.

Come on, Murphy.

You wipe the dog off the bitch.

Look out for the dog shit, Murphy.

What dog?

Shit.

Didn't spill a drop.

Miss Biggie, you got any idea what that bullshit was all about?

Lucifer said desire reversal.

Desired reversal.

Whatever that means.

Sounds like the name of the goddamn dirty movie. No.

What the hell is he gonna do with this here music player?

Someone tell me what the hell's going on here?

Well, it's too complicated for you, Steven.

Desired reversal has more than one syllable. Piss off, Elliot.

Oh, that's the best offer you've ever made me, sugar sleeve.

Stop it, you guys. We've still got our problem with Allison.

Allison.

Desire reversal, What the hell do you meant by that?

We'll just have to keep Allison secluded until we can find

another hypnotist.

Hoo.

I'll go call Bob Corley and tell him that the script review

has gone the way of horny buffalo.

You actually booked a show?

Yeah.

At the Chez Bob or Reebok, not now.

Well, that warms the cockles of an old businessman's heart.

I may see some profit out of this yet.

Now just shut up, Steven. I'll go make that phone call.

No, Elliot. Don't make that call.

But, Halithin No.

If faith has it determined,

I'm gonna strip every time I hear that song.

Well, we might as well get some good use out of it.

So the show is on.

Oh, Alvin. You're a good person.

Desired reversal.

What happened about down there?

Damn. Sure wish I know what desired reverse on that.

Desired reversal.

I wonder what happens if I push this button.

Nope. Nope. That ain't it.

Please no more.

I know what you boys were complaining about.

She was pretty good. Congratulations, darling.

I always knew you could do it.

Oh, sure you did, sleazeball.

Why don't you go find yourself an eighty year old man in heat?

Come back in about five minutes when you qualify, sweetie.

Are you sure you wanna go through with this?

Yeah. I'm sure.

Please don't push any buttons, please.

I'm sorry, daughter. Dang.

I sure wish I knowed what desire to reverse on that.

Anybody wanna try some new coffee? You don't drink it.

You snort it.

There's a millionaire McCall.

He sure is occupied, though.

Mind your own. This is Hadam.

Great show, everybody.

And miss Betty, unbelievable.

And you,

fantastic.

Hello, mister millionaire.

How you doing? Hey. Listen up, everybody.

I'd like you to meet my new wife.

Wife?

You betcha. We tied the knot at ten o'clock this morning.

Oh, congratulations, Bob. That's just wonderful.

Wonderful.

But if you'll excuse me, I have to go pour, Trixie into her costume.

Alright.

Come on, honey. We'll go watch the show from down front.

Good luck, everybody. Good luck.

Ten o'clock this morning and I was sleeping alone? Damn.

That's great, McCall.

Adam, I've told you leave me alone, but do you listen? No.

Sorry. Sorry, my cockney ass.

I'm gonna ball your big buns off right now.

Alright, Adam.

This refrigerator finally thawed.

Murray, there's no way to stow her.

It's time for Tricksy Stumble.

Desired reversal.

I wish to hell I knew what that crazy quack was talking about.

Cool and miss a name calling face when I might be telling you.

What the hell?

Boxes don't talk?

If you take that, hog farmer,

you must have had one hell of a lousy sex

life.

Doc?

You was expecting a ventriloquist or something?

Shh. Be quiet. The police is looking for me everywhere.

I just come back to help the pity daughter.

There's a problem.

Well, it's about goddamn time. Now get out of that sucker.

She's right over there.

Oh, I can't do that.

I must remain hiding from the fucking police.

Now you can help her just as easy as I.

Remember,

desire to reversal.

I'm gonna cut your nuts out.

You say that one more time without telling me what it mean.

So the daughter is in love.

And naturally, the young man doesn't want the entire world eyeballing the

young lady's, private parts with the clothes off, you see.

So he could fix that by just reversing it and telling her

it's hokey dokey with him,

and then all of the psychological

barriers come tumbling down.

Once the spell disappears, poof,

and then she can take off her clothes anytime all over the place.

Oh, I must have come to box.

Pop, I think Lucifer is right.

I am in love.

And I guess subconsciously, no matter how old fashioned it sounds,

I need Adam's approval to take my clothes off in front of other men.

Is that all there is to it?

Oh, I've been doing that for years, honey,

for heaven's sake.

Go on, you big honked teller. It's alright.

Elliot, you don't shake your mouth.

I'm gonna take out my knife. I'm gonna carve you a new one.

Your decision, boy.

Tell you right now, along with whatever you say.

Whatever you say.

I do love you, Austin.

All of you.

Your body doesn't make me jealous. It makes me proud.

To me, your body's like a wonderful painting or a classic film.

It ought to be seen by everybody.

Get out there and knock them dead, sweetheart.

Take it all off.

What the hell was that?

Tell me, keep in the box.

Alastair Murphy, you're gonna have a this way.

I must get away.

I watched the movie magic.

Hit it, Marie.

Well, Christopher,

thank you so much for coming back to help me.

I want you to lead a good life and remember the chicken bones.

Here, swing this thing here for me for a while until I can get the

hell out of here.

My dear, can I talk you into going with me to Baba?

No. But can I give you a lift to the airport?

Oh, we need you.

Don't worry.

He'll keep his eyes on the road and his hands on the wheel.

Subnerba.

Go. Subnerba.

Thank you, Subnerba.

Take it

Come on, Adam.

Again?

Again. Again.