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# Terrible Tudors,
Gorgeous Georgians,
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# Slimy Stuarts, Vile Victorians
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# Woeful wars, Ferocious fights
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00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:07,120
# Dingy castles, Daring knights
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00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:08,520
# Horrors that defy description
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00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:09,960
# Cut-throat Celts, Awful Egyptians
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00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:11,480
# Vicious Vikings, Cruel crime
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# Punishments from ancient times
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# Roman, rotten, rank and ruthless
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00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,720
# Cavemen, savage,
fierce and toothless
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# Groovy Greeks, Reigning sages
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# Mean and measly Middle Ages
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BOTH: # Gory stories we do that
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# And your host a talking rat
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# The past is no longer a mystery
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# Welcome to... #
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Horrible Histories presents our...
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# This song's special
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# It's a whole new angle
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# Richie on piano
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# And me on triangle
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# We're going to do the whole
show as a song
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# My best idea yet!
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# What could go wrong?
25
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# Well, you can't play triangle
26
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# Or sing in tune
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# But I can fart in time
28
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# To be fair that is true
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BOTH: # Sit back and enjoy
some historical hits
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# As we show you
our best musical bits
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# Something for everyone
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# You can be sure
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# Starting with some poo, pus
and gore. #
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FARTS
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Oh, not bad
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It's really unfortunate he ended up
pooing himself to death.
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Hello, doctor.
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Oh, Mabel, good to see you.
How's the family?
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Oh, oh...
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Dead. Yeah, a lot of that
contagious plague going around.
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But enough about them.
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I've got these funny lumps and I
wondered if you knew what they were.
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I've got a poo sample
to help with the diagnosis.
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# I've seen a lot of pustules
in the flesh
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# I'm good at giving patients
their prognosis
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# And I've got medical prowess... #
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Ooh!
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# So now it's time
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# For your diagnosis
50
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# Well, I see you've got
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# Cold chills, vom, and buboes
on your armpits
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# Back pain, nausea
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# Fevers and exhaustion
54
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# You've got the plague... #
55
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Is it serious?
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# You're probably going to die
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# Cos you're covered in
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# Boils
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# Boils
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# And your poo is full of blood
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# Your arms are covered
in hard lumps
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# They're swelling and expelling pus
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# Let me be your
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# Healer
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# Healer
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# And I will take care of thee
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# But I... #
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SNEEZES
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# I charge a hefty fee... #
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Oh, the plague! I thought
I'd managed to avoid
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the old Black Death.
What do you reckon caused it?
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# It might be evil air
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# Imbalance of your humours
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# Hotness, wetness
causing fatal tumours... #
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Are there any cures?
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# Yes, there are
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# Now listen in
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# Why not rub in some oils?
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# Oils
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# Smear your forehead
with puppy's blood
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# Rub on toad and when that's done
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# You should apply a chicken's bum
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# Then have a bath in some
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# Wee-wee
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# Wee-wee
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# But if I'm speaking honestly... #
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Urgh-urgh-urgh-urgh-urgh. Urgh.
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# Survival's not a guarantee. #
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Bath full of wee. I've been thinking
of getting one of those,
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thanks, doctor.
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Oh, be careful who you talk to,
they might catch it.
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Urgh!
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Urgh!
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# Well, that was disgusting
I feel slightly sick
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# Let's move swiftly on
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# To our next pic
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# Rattus, what's up
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# Next on the playlist?
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# Two songs about families
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# Not to be missed
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BOTH: # Mothers
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# Who wanted
the best for their kids
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# Who went to lengths
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# No-one else did
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# Brothers
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# Who started as THE best of mates
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# Who went on a journey
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# From love to hate. #
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Triangle? Not yet.
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One, two, three.
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# My Alex is so great
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# And it was his fate
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# To conquer the whole world
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# Without me by his side
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# Well, that isn't quite
116
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# How it would have unfurled
117
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# His father was a threat
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# And so to protect
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# I kept him by my side
120
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# So what a shock we had
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# When we found out Al's dad
122
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# And his new wife had died... #
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Coincidence.
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# Hey, Ma
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# Thank you, Ma... #
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I fought for my grandson too.
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# Hey, Ma
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# Thank you, Ma
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# I had a load of kids
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# And then thing I did
was marry them all off
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# It takes a real skill
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# And an iron will
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# To find a suitable toff
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# Got the best I could get
135
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# For Marie Antoinette
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# Bagged her the King of France
137
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# Matchmaking was my thing
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# Well, you don't think
139
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# You get a throne by chance... #
140
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# Hey, Ma
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# Thank you, Ma
142
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Admittedly, it didn't
play out perfectly.
143
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# Hey, Ma
144
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# Thank you, Ma
145
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# Hey, votta, hey, votta
146
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# Hey, votta, hey, votta
147
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# Hey, votta, hey, votta
hey, votta 'bout you?
148
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# This story goes out
to all the mothers out there
149
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# If you escape slavery
150
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# You fight to get
your children back
151
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# From those devils
152
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# Take them to court like I did
153
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# Do whatever you can
154
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# And dedicate your life
to making sure it never happens
155
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# To anyone else's kids... #
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Wow! My attempts at matchmaking
feel kind of weak right now.
157
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# Hey, Ma
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# Thank you, Ma
159
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# We're all mothers,
we do what we can.
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# Hey, Ma
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# Thank you, Ma. #
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From 20th century Germany
comes the musical tale
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of the Dassler Brothers, whose
conflict changed the world's...
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..sports footwear.
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Horrible Historical Musicals
presents...
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# We make our shoes
in Herzogenaurach
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# After they make Jesse Owens
go fast
168
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# Won the gold medal in '36
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# 900 metres in Dassler kicks
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BOTH: # We make these shoes
in Bavaria
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# Just me and you in Bavaria
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# Brothers unite in Bavaria
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# We never fight in Bavaria... #
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AIR RAID SIRENS
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Two brothers, whose friendship was
ended when Rudi went away to war
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and Adi stayed home
to run the company.
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I'm running this company on my own
while Rudi is away.
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Maybe I should always run
ze company on my own.
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# Not right
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# Not right
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# He's gone away to fight
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# From heel to toe
my soul says no to share it... #
183
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And so Adidas shoes were born.
184
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But when Rudi returned from the war,
a rivalry was forged.
185
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I will create a rival shoe company
right here in Bavaria
186
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and guess what I'm gonna call it?
Ya, was ist das?
187
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Oh!
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Ruda shoes!
Hmm...
189
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How about Puma?
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Sounds more "Rrarrr!"
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No?
Ya, fair enough.
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# Now I'm good, Puma
it's safe to assuma
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# That all my consumers
just can't get enough
194
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# You wanna bet ya, Bruv
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# You ain't no threat here
196
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# Adidas is better
and I can play rough
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BOTH: # You think
that you're so tough... #
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The epic tale of the brothers
whose rivalry created
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00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:54,600
two of the biggest shoe companies
in the world.
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BOTH: # There's a shoe for you
201
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# Plimsolls, sneakers, trainers too
202
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# We'll sell you all
a brand-new pair
203
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# Our shoes are available everywhere
204
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# Footwear
205
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# Footwear! #
206
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The musical with sole.
207
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,360
Mine are still better than yours.
208
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:34,440
# If you want to get over
a family fight
209
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# Spend quality time together
210
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# A nice seaside break
211
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# Away in the sun
212
00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:44,800
# Or any other type of weather
213
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IN HARMONY: # Quality time together
214
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,520
# Such an admirable aim
215
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,880
# And nothing gets people together
216
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,240
# Quite like the beautiful game
217
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:58,600
Ah, Monopoly!
218
00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:00,640
Football!
Oh, yeah, sorry.
219
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,400
# It's more than goals
220
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,400
# It's more than goals
221
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:08,200
# We know that football's
more than goals
222
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,120
# It's more than goals
223
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:12,160
# It's more than goals
224
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:15,800
# We know that
football's more than goals
225
00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:22,320
# Way back in 1863
226
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:26,120
# We decided to agree
227
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:27,920
# Rules of play
228
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:30,280
# The FA
229
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:33,480
# And as all the years went by
230
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,680
# Even more rules applied
231
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:38,000
# Like how I was offside
232
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,120
# And I was goalie!
233
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:43,880
# Teams got fancy shirts
234
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:47,720
# Different for the keepers
235
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:51,560
# Play on grass or dirt
236
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:54,400
# Rules to stop the cheaters
237
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,880
# So many blokes
238
00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:00,440
# So many jeers
239
00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:04,200
# But for so many years
CROWD CHEERS
240
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,440
# Women's teams got the cheers
241
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:10,840
# Cos when they saw us
242
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,080
# Passing the ball
243
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:13,840
# Scoring 43 goals
244
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,480
# Boy could we play football!
245
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:18,480
# Until they banned us!
246
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,680
# I was thinking hard
247
00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:21,720
CAR HORNS BLARE
248
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:25,600
# About rules
whilst stuck in traffic
249
00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:29,120
# Red and yellow cards
250
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:32,520
# Made reffing more dramatic
251
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:37,720
# In 1971
252
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:41,560
# FA's rules were withdrawn
253
00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:45,040
# Meant that we could play on
254
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:48,800
# The women's game reborn
255
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,080
And look at us now!
256
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:51,440
# It's more than goals
257
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:54,840
# We know that football's
more than goals
258
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:56,440
# It's more than goals
259
00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:59,760
# Wherever you roam
We know that
260
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,720
# Whoever you cheer for
Football's more than goals
261
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:06,840
# It's more than goals
Football feels like home
262
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:10,520
# We know that
Not sure what I'm here for
263
00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:14,160
# It's more than goals
Playground or World Cup
264
00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:18,200
# We know that
When your team is winning
265
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:21,560
# It's more than goals
There's no better buzz
266
00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:26,840
# We know that
Than when your fans are singing. #
267
00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:28,640
ALL: Yeah!
268
00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:29,760
Kick that ball!
269
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,360
High five.
Ha-ha!
270
00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,760
Yeah!
Yeah.
271
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,320
CROWD CHEERS
272
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,680
Yeah!
273
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:41,360
Ahhh!
274
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:42,800
# Oh, no
275
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:46,640
# The beach was not
traditionally where one would go
276
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:50,360
# And here in Bognor,
yeah, this water's so cold!
277
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:54,360
# But doctors said it helps
to make your gout go
278
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:55,600
# Gout go
279
00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:01,440
# It's cool to be by the sea,
Now it's COOL to be by the sea
280
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:02,760
# I like to be by the sea
281
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,240
# And to take all my family
282
00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:06,680
# I change in a bathing machine
283
00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:09,160
# I see the sea but it can't see me
284
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:13,160
# Even a royal empress needs
this vacation by the sea
285
00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:15,920
# I'm promenading
286
00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:20,200
# While the kids are
bucket-and-spading. Oh, yeah!
287
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:23,920
# In the sea
we're paddling and wading
288
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:27,040
# Na-na-na-na,
Break by the ocean
289
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,000
# Break by the ocean
290
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,040
# Donkey rides, baby
291
00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:32,600
DONKEY BRAYS
292
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,840
# Or they'll dig a sand castle
maybe
293
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,080
# Oh, yeah!
294
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:40,120
# Watch a Punch And Judy show daily
295
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:43,000
# Na-na-na-na
Break by the ocean
296
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,480
# BREAK by the ocean
BONES CRUNCH
297
00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:47,280
HE STIFLES A YELL
298
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,200
# Seaside
299
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:55,360
# Factory workers sure
like to be beside
300
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:59,200
# I thought for their week off
I could provide
301
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:02,560
# A holiday with entertainment
supplied
302
00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:05,600
# Supplied
303
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,440
# Holiday camp by the sea
304
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:09,640
# My holiday camp by the sea
305
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:13,480
# I called it Butlin's
cos I named it after me
306
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:14,960
# I'll do everything I can
307
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,640
# To make my campers all happy
308
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:19,520
# Catering for all their needs
309
00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:22,120
Obviously, for a fee!
KER-CHING!
310
00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:24,280
# Candyfloss baby
311
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:27,360
# Or a knobbly knee contest maybe
312
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:28,680
# Oh, yeah!
313
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:31,760
# Grandparents, mums, dads
and their babies
314
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:35,600
# Everyone has fun by the ocean
315
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,240
# Break by the ocean
316
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:39,720
# It's good to be by the sea
317
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,360
# Now it's cool to be by the sea
318
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,520
# Yeah, yeah, when we came along
319
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,280
# It became a cool place to be
Wish that we could stay
320
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,560
# It's cool to be by the sea
321
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,200
# And it's all thanks to him and me
322
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,600
# Na-na-na-na
Break by the ocean
323
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,640
# Break by the ocean. #
324
00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:57,120
Shall we all go
and get fish and chips?!
325
00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,560
Yeah! Yeah!
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
326
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,320
# Holidays are great
327
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,400
# But there's no place like home
328
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,680
# A lovely stinky sewer
329
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,480
# A poo-filled space
to call your own
330
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:12,720
# In every home across the land
the kitchen is its heart
331
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,640
# They've really changed
over the years
332
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:22,120
IN HARMONY: # Let's take you back
to the staa-aa-aa-art! #
333
00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:24,520
I was harmonising!
Well, that's one word for it!
334
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,040
Mmm! Somethin' smells good!
335
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,360
Wow!
336
00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:32,920
# That feels hot
337
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,960
# Cos I'm boiling my pot
338
00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,360
# We eat veggies a lot
339
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:42,680
# That's all us poor folk have got
340
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,800
# Boiled veg
341
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:49,240
# My bed... I got my own room
342
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:50,880
TICKING
343
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,680
# Tudor kitchen is nice
344
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:57,280
# A-cookin' with spice
345
00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:59,400
# Goodbye fire pit
346
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,440
# Hello fireplace instead
347
00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,320
# There's no bed
348
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:07,760
# Cos instead
349
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:10,040
# I got more rooms!
350
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,480
# Wow!
351
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,800
# A-livin' in a Tudor house
352
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,560
# And knives and spoons
353
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:17,920
# Are what we use
354
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,240
# Yeah!
355
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:21,840
# Living in a Tudor house
356
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:23,040
# On the floor
357
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:24,680
# Is where the scullion snooze
SNORING
358
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,760
TICKING
DING!
359
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,320
# I'm using pots
360
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:30,880
# In fact I got lots
361
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:33,080
# Yeah!
362
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:34,920
# And dishes and pans
363
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:39,040
# For pastries and flans
364
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:41,600
# I roast
365
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:42,840
# I bake
366
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,240
# Pies and cake
367
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:46,520
# Wow!
368
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:50,000
# Cos I'm living in a Georgian house
369
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,520
# Fewer spits
370
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,640
# Now ovens are it
371
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:56,640
# I'm living in a Georgian house
372
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,360
# Using coal
373
00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:01,120
# Makes cookin' a stroll! Wow!
374
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,320
Hey, shall I take 'em
to the fridge?
375
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:04,720
Take 'em to the fridge!
376
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:05,880
To my brand-new fridge?
377
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:08,080
And do you like my washin' machine,
huh?!
378
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,920
# The room's got lights
379
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:13,560
# Now we're cooking at night
380
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:14,840
# Yeah!
381
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,640
# I got a sink
Mm-hm!
382
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:20,960
# To wash away stink
Yeah, tell 'em!
383
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,680
# Hot tap
Whoo!
384
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:26,240
# Drying rack
And a dishwasher too
385
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:28,040
# Whoo! Yeah!
386
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:31,960
BOTH: # So now we're livin' in
a '50s house
387
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:33,520
# All mod cons
388
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:35,520
# We can't do without
389
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,440
# Living in a '50s house
390
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:39,920
# We're better off
391
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:42,400
# So let's eat out
Whoo! #
392
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,520
This all seems like a lotta effort
to be honest.
393
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:49,160
Woo-oo-oow!
394
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:51,640
Oh and don't forget
to take out the trash.
395
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:53,640
Papa's got a black bin bag.
396
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,400
# I've been practising my triangle
397
00:16:58,400 --> 00:16:59,840
# Is it time to use it?
398
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:03,480
# Yeah, if you want to be arrested
for crimes against music!
399
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,920
# Rulebreakers run in my family
400
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:10,080
# Like, they mostly
just run away actually
401
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:14,080
# Breaking the law
is a foolish thing to do
402
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:17,080
# Cos this next lot
could come after you. #
403
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:19,080
Oohh!
Yeah.
404
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,160
FABRIC TEARS
405
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,320
Oi! You! Come back here!
406
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,400
WHISTLE
You'll never catch me, copper!
407
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:31,720
# It's a hard cop's life for us
408
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,960
# Victorian cop's life for us
409
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,920
# Instead of thank-yous we get hate
410
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:41,040
# Being a policeman ain't that great
411
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:42,440
# It's a hard cop's life... #
412
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:43,720
# Used to work on a farm
413
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,280
# It was really hard labour
414
00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,760
# So I moved to the city,
thought I'd do meself a favour
415
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,360
# I'm over five foot nine
416
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,040
# And also not illiterate
417
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:53,160
# So I joined the police force
418
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:54,680
# Cos I'm the perfect fit for it
419
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:57,440
# Respect was what I wanted
being a criminal myself
420
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,920
# Needed to join the other side
be a lot better for my health
421
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:02,680
# But we'd be sitting pretty
Aha, aha
422
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:04,640
# But dope it ain't
it's pretty gritty.
423
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,160
# Aha
424
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,760
# It's a hard cop's life for us
425
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:11,800
# Victorian cop's life for us
426
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,040
# Public hates us
427
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:14,880
# Rubbish pay
428
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,880
# On our feet 12 hours a day
429
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:19,160
# It's a hard cop's life
430
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:22,200
# Got no way to supplement
my minimum income
431
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,040
# Feel like I'm an idiot
being a policeman
432
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:28,280
# But as part of the reform
part of the new norm
433
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,160
# At least we get to wear
A nice new woollen uniform
434
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:34,080
# Yeah, but there's a catch
Aha, aha
435
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,080
# It REALLY makes you scratch!
436
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,360
RECORD SCRATCHES
437
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:38,920
# P to the E
438
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:40,560
# To the E, to the L
439
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:43,600
# The 1829 Metropolitan Police Act
440
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,960
# Sir Robert Peel's responsible
for our zero hours contract
441
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,720
Out of my way, Peelers!
442
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,160
# Go on, then, call us names
443
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:52,920
# It's not like you can miss us
444
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,960
# In Maidstone, we gotta grow
compulsory whiskers!
445
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,840
# You mean like mine?!
Aha, aha.
446
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:00,920
# Got to say that's mighty fine
Aha.
447
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:04,160
# It's a hard cop's life for us
448
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,200
# Victorian cop's life for us
449
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:10,200
# Have to carry our luncheon
450
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,960
# Only perk is this truncheon
451
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:16,440
# It's a hard cop's life
452
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,360
# It's a hard knock life
453
00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:22,600
# Yeah, a hard cop's life. #
454
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:23,680
GATE CLANGS
455
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:26,480
# We got a tower
456
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,160
# We got a white tower
457
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,320
# In London
458
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:32,160
# A seat of power
459
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:33,600
# Yeah
460
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:37,520
# A place where anything can happen
461
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:39,440
# It's been a Mint, a royal zoo
462
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,320
# A castle protecting you
463
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:42,720
# It was wood when it was new
464
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,080
# Now it's a museum
465
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:46,320
# For the Krays and Rudolf Hess
466
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:48,240
# Wiliam Wallace and Queen Bess
467
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:50,840
# Walter Raleigh
and the rest was a prison
468
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,960
# Here's a mystery for you
469
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:57,960
# The princes in the tower
went missing
470
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,000
# But people think a clue
471
00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:04,640
# Is their Uncle Richard became king
472
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:08,080
# The Tower's seen
all of these terrible days
473
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,800
# Like the death of Jane Grey
Jane Grey
474
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,600
# Jane Grey
Jane Grey
475
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:17,120
# A teenager given the crown
must have thought she was made
476
00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:19,000
# Got played
477
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,680
# She was queen for nine days!
478
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,840
WHISTLING
479
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:25,680
# Kept tigers there
480
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:29,400
# The leopards', panthers'
and lions' den
481
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,680
# Let's talk polar bears
482
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:36,520
# They had one that
swam in the Thames
483
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:38,600
# It's been a Mint, a royal zoo
484
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,000
# A castle protecting you
485
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,640
# It was wood when it was new
486
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,440
# Now it's a museum
487
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,280
# For Samuel Pepys and Anne Boleyn
488
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,120
# Henry's fifth wife Catherine
489
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,840
# Guy Fawkes and more like him
was a prison
490
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:53,360
# Here's a legend for you
491
00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:57,120
# While the ravens stay
it'll stand proudly
492
00:20:57,120 --> 00:21:00,160
# They guard the tower for you
493
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:03,880
# But if the ravens leave
it'll end badly
494
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:07,320
# A tower full of all
the historical things
495
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,320
# Like the death of Anne Boleyn
496
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,680
# Boleyn, Boleyn, Boleyn
497
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:16,480
# Executed by the sword
and the case was so thin
498
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:17,760
# Yet knowin'
499
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,400
# Her accuser was the King
500
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,360
WHISTLING
501
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:23,000
# We got a tower
502
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:28,120
# We got a white tower in London. #
503
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:33,320
# James I hated rule breakers
504
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:36,000
# And who can blame him?
505
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,640
# Especially after Guy Fawkes
506
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:41,720
# Tried to kill and maim him
507
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:44,320
# The Gunpowder Plot
went up in smoke
508
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,800
# Which we celebrate with fireworks
- that's quite a sick joke
509
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:50,080
# But where did fireworks
come from? #
510
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:53,000
I don't know, but that
sounds like a cue for a song!
511
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:57,680
# The birth of fireworks
512
00:21:57,680 --> 00:21:59,440
# An ancient Chinese tale
513
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:03,160
# Wei Boyang tried to live forever
but was doomed to fail
514
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:04,920
# He mixed three powders up
515
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,720
# Thought they would be a hit
516
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:08,960
# He didn't live so long
517
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:10,480
# But now the spark was lit
518
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:14,320
# Cos when you add some heat
519
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:17,960
# And then retreat
520
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:21,960
# It starts to smoke and spark
521
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:25,200
# And lights the dark... #
522
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,160
BANG!
523
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,360
Oh, this really help
seems to help my psoriasis!
524
00:22:30,360 --> 00:22:34,280
# Yes, he has made
an eczema cure
525
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:38,160
# Apply the mixture to the sore
526
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:42,240
# Not what he was looking for
527
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:45,480
# Must be more to this for sure
528
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,240
# They used the powder as
529
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,120
# Insect repellent smoke
530
00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:54,880
# And they thought there were ghouls
that terrified and frightened folk
531
00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:56,920
# And so to scare them all
532
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,760
# They took their bamboo sticks
533
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:02,280
# And packed them tightly
with Wei Boyang's powdered mix
534
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:06,000
# And when the sticks went bang
535
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:10,040
# It rang through the night
536
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:13,960
# It gave those spirits fright
537
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:17,000
# Was such a sight
538
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,600
# Cos he had made a ghost alarm
539
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:24,600
# It was an anti-spirit charm
540
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:28,640
# When it went bang, bang, bang
541
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,880
# Kept them away from the farm
542
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:35,920
# Little fireworks go
zoom, zoom, zoom
543
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:39,520
# But fill a barrel and
it's boom, boom, boom
544
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:43,280
# We'll blow the King across
the room, room, room
545
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:47,640
# Then Catholic England
can resume, zoom, zoom
546
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:51,720
# Cos they were using gunpowder
547
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:55,400
# That started as an eczema cure
548
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:59,200
# But Guy Fawkes' plan
did not go bang
549
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:03,400
# And soon he was a captured man
550
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:07,200
# Now no matter where you go
551
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,920
# Fireworks put on a show
552
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:12,640
# Hear the crowds go ah, ah...
553
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,200
EXPLOSIONS
# Ohh!
554
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:19,160
# Entertainment just for you. #
555
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:23,440
# Fireworks are dangerous
556
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,200
# On that we both agree
557
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:28,600
# If you're not careful
you'll end up in A&E
558
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:32,640
# And when you find yourself
in need of medical attention
559
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:35,920
# Nye Bevan's NHS deserves
a special mention
560
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:39,400
# This song celebrates 75 years
561
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,320
# We've saved the best till last
562
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,480
# It'll move you to tears
563
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:47,160
# It's finally time for
my moment in the spotlight
564
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:48,720
DRUM ROLL
Yeah!
565
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:49,960
PRRRP!
Oh!
566
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:51,440
# All day to practise
567
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:54,400
# He can't even get that right. #
Oh!
568
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:57,160
# Cos I, I, I
569
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:58,600
# Back in '48
570
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:02,720
# Started the NHS
and it's pretty great
571
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:07,680
# Togs on, scrubbing up my palms
operating theatre let's go
572
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:12,200
# Didn't want to sign up at first
now I'm really in the zone
573
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,240
# Came here far from home
574
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,000
# Straight on the wards, let's roll
575
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,240
# Feel good, looking strong
576
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,240
# Cup of tea
and you can soon go home
577
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,160
# This is pretty heavy
578
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,080
# Get me to the Labour Ward
I'm ready
579
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:25,120
# Oh, oh!
580
00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:26,440
# Here you go, Mummy
581
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:28,920
# Best of all
it don't cost you money
582
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,560
# No matter what's broke
we'll fix you up
583
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,040
# You're good to go
584
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:35,680
# Through childhood
and when you grow up
585
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:37,000
Great, so let's go.
586
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:41,040
ALL: # Cos Nye, Nye, Nye Bevan
won his fight
587
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:45,760
# To make sure everyone
gets treated right
588
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:49,960
# Countryside or city
from the young up to the old
589
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:52,960
# The NHS will make you feel
all right
590
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:54,640
Whoa!
591
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,520
# Jump onboard, sirens loud
592
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,560
# Whoever needs to come along
593
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:00,440
# Lights on, through the crowds
594
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:03,000
# We're off to the hospital
595
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,480
# Day or night, we'll see you right
596
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,640
# If you can't make it you can call
597
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:09,280
# Ladies and gentlemen
here is your medicine
598
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:11,240
# And here are clean sheets
for you all
599
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:12,720
# Heart's beating steady
600
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:14,480
# I can hear the boom-boom
you're ready
601
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:15,760
Woohoo!
602
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:19,280
# Feet, eyes, tummy, we'll try
and fix whatever feels funny
603
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:21,520
# Drop off then reload
604
00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:23,680
# I get the call, I'm good to go
605
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:25,880
# I'm on call
even when you throw up
606
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,040
BLEURGH!
# Let's go
607
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:31,840
# Cos I, I, I saw stars tonight
608
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:36,680
# Now they've fixed me up
and I feel all right!
609
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:40,240
# Had some tea and toast
and now I'll take my baby home
610
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:43,320
# Will he sleep
right through the night?
611
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,000
Whoa-ho!
612
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,800
# Na-nana-na-nana-nana-na
Na-na-na
613
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:49,360
# It's our NHS
614
00:26:49,360 --> 00:26:51,600
# Na-nana-na-nana
Nana-nana-na-na
615
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:53,320
# It's our NHS
616
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:54,800
# Driving through the city
617
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,240
# To wherever I must go
618
00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:01,760
# I'm so grateful for the NHS
Whoa-ho!
619
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:05,480
# So I, I, I, I did my best
620
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:09,080
# To give health care
you could all access
621
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:14,240
# Started something back then
and it's still going real strong
622
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:17,880
# So let's say thanks
to the NHS. #
623
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:20,080
FIRECRACKERS POP
624
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,320
Aa-aa-nd cut there!
625
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:24,760
Dan's still rolling!
626
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:30,840
LAUGHTER
627
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:34,600
# The past is no longer a mystery
628
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:39,920
# Hope you enjoyed...
Horrible Histories. #
43178
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