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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,600 Georgians Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:07,000 Dingy castles, daring knights 3 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,800 Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians 4 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:12,200 Punishment from ancient times 5 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:15,040 Cavemen savage, fierce and toothless 6 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:18,040 Mean and measly Middle Ages 7 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,760 8 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,280 9 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:26,240 10 00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:27,720 11 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:31,640 12 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:34,360 Horrible Histories presents... 13 00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:39,320 Greetings, mortals! 14 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:41,960 I am Raticles! HE FARTS 15 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:45,840 The little-known ancient Greek god of rats and public toilets. 16 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:49,240 TOILET FLUSHES Ha, ha, ha, ha. Over 2,000 years ago, 17 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:51,960 the ancient Greeks believed that gods ruled 18 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:54,560 over them from a mountain called Olympus. 19 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,560 And they told tales of these gods 20 00:00:57,560 --> 00:00:59,960 in stories called "myths". 21 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:04,200 And let me tell you, these stories were bananas! 22 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:08,080 So if you like the sound of a woman with snakes for hair 23 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:10,880 or a god who hurls thunderbolts, 24 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:13,800 then buckle up and enjoy the ride. 25 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:17,200 You know, there's even a barmy story about how the Greek gods came 26 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,520 about in the first place. 27 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:23,160 Phew! And that's the actual Mount Olympus, 28 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:25,480 where we believe the Olympian gods live. 29 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:28,440 Ohhhh! The gods are so boring, Dad. 30 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:31,280 "Boring"?! These stories tell us everything! 31 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:34,600 Where we came from, how the world works, how we should live. 32 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,320 Ugh. Where would your yo-yo be without Dionysius, 33 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:38,840 the god of games, huh? 34 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,400 Even the sky is a god! SKY GOD BURPS 35 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:45,760 OK, if the gods are in charge of everything, who made the gods? 36 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:48,880 Well, I'm glad you asked, because I'm going to tell you 37 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:53,320 how we believe this whole world began. 38 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:56,080 just a thing called Chaos 39 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:59,080 40 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,640 as some would call her 41 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:07,240 42 00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:10,280 43 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:13,720 Hemera of the day, yah 44 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:21,080 forming to prepare for our birth 45 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,960 46 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:31,280 47 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:33,720 Titans 48 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:38,160 49 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,040 50 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:42,040 51 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:43,960 52 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:45,960 53 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:49,280 54 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:53,360 55 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,160 Hang on. Uranus? 56 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:57,640 I thought Zeus was the god in charge. 57 00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:59,600 He is! But before him it was Uranus. 58 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,280 Then one of Uranus' kids, the titan Cronus, 59 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:05,400 cut off his dad's dangly bits and took over. 60 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,360 URANUS YELLS Chronos then had kids 61 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:09,160 who were the gods, including Zeus, 62 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:10,880 but Cronus was worried those kids 63 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,160 would take over from him, 64 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:13,840 so he decided to eat them all. 65 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,760 What kind of story is this? 66 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:19,320 I know, right? Anyway, he ate them all apart from Zeus, 67 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:22,840 who Cronus' wife, Rhea, managed to secretly switch with a rock. 68 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:25,720 Wow, it's actually getting weirder! It really is. 69 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:29,520 Then when Zeus was grown up, he came back and made his dad vomit up 70 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:31,960 all his brothers and sisters. Bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh. 71 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:33,760 So Cronus had to fight all his kids, 72 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:37,240 you know, the Olympian gods Hera, Hades, Poseidon, etc. 73 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,560 The kids won and Zeus took over. Bang! 74 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:42,120 Are all the stories about the gods this bonkers? 75 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,840 Um, yeah. Pretty much. 76 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,320 Great! Tell me some more! 77 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:48,960 There's a new family at the top of the mountain, 78 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,000 the Olympian gods! APPLAUSE 79 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,400 Fall in love with Hera, goddess of marriage. 80 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,200 And kicking up a storm, 81 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,840 it's the mighty Zeus, god of thunder 82 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,080 and king of the gods. 83 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:05,240 Zeus, did you put a lightning storm in the garden? 84 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,040 What makes you think it was me? 85 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:10,680 THUNDER What's the big deal? 86 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,720 It's not like I hit anyone with lightning... 87 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,520 ..this time! 88 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:18,520 SHOUTING Ooh. Sorry! 89 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:19,960 Warming our hearts, 90 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:23,000 it's Hestia, goddess of the fireplace. 91 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,760 And ploughing in is Demeter, goddess 92 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:28,160 of the seasons and the harvest. APPLAUSE 93 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:29,760 Can you make it summer all year round 94 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:31,960 so we don't have to bother with fires? 95 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:34,840 I could, but then when would we plant the crops? 96 00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:37,520 And you know I love my food. 97 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:39,120 Mama like. 98 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:41,440 OK. 99 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:45,280 Making a splash, it's Poseidon, God of the ocean. 100 00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:47,400 APPLAUSE And he's a bit of a downer, 101 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:50,160 it's Hades, god of the underworld. 102 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:53,360 Why do I have to live in the underworld? 103 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:57,880 Well, you are the god of the underworld. Ma, ha! 104 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,680 Why couldn't I have been god of the cake shop? 105 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,120 Now the gods are here, 106 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,880 Ancient Greece is about to become a whole lot more interesting. 107 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:12,280 Listen, guys, shouldn't we use our powers to HELP the people of Greece? 108 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:14,680 Eh. 109 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:18,120 Or we could just keep messing with them. Yes, please! 110 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:22,120 SHOUTING Sorry, dude! 111 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,360 The Olympian Gods! 112 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:30,240 Heaven knows what these guys are going to get up to next. 113 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,320 APPLAUSE 114 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:37,520 Most Greek myths are either about the gods or the stuff 115 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:40,120 they got up to when they were toying with the human mortals 116 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,600 below on Earth. 117 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,640 Sometimes the mortals would go on epic adventures 118 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:48,680 where they faced terrible ordeals designed by the gods. 119 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:51,680 These brave people were called "heroes" 120 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,120 and it's fair to say 121 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:56,560 that many of their stories are not exactly bedtime 122 00:05:56,560 --> 00:06:01,320 story material. I might hide behind the sofa for this one. Mm-mm. 123 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,320 It's nearly bedtime here at YeBeebies, 124 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:07,160 So for all of you little heroes heading off 125 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:10,600 to adventures in dreamland, we've got a special guest 126 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,280 who's going to share some 127 00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:16,160 amazing stories about his family, the Greek gods. 128 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,120 Hello, Mr Zeus! 129 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,440 It's actually King Zeus, but fine. 130 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,840 Hello, children! Would you like to 131 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,720 hear some stories about animals? 132 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,960 Oh, yes, please! We love animals. 133 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:32,840 Once upon a time, there was a giant called Argus 134 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,400 with 100 eyes. 135 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:38,240 And he was guarding the most beautiful cow, Io. 136 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:40,720 Cows go, "Moo!" COW MOOS 137 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,480 Well, this cow was secretly my girlfriend. 138 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:45,640 COW MOOS What? So, one day, 139 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,320 I went to one of my sons, the god Hermes, 140 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,640 to put Argus to sleep and kill him 141 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:51,760 with a big rock. 142 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:54,440 CRASH, SHOUTING Now the giant's eyes 143 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,280 decorate the peacock's tail. 144 00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:59,080 Um, peacocks go, "Ahh, ahh." BIRD CAWS 145 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:00,440 Well, happy times. 146 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:02,920 I was now free to run off with Io the cow. 147 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,160 OK! How about a different story? 148 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:08,200 Ah, here's one about my daughter, the goddess Artemis. 149 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:11,640 She was bathing in a river when a hunter saw her in the nuddy. 150 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:15,600 She was so angry, she turned him into a deer, 151 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,320 and the hunter's own dogs... DOG BARKS 152 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:19,640 ..tore him to shreds. 153 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,240 Dogs go, "Woof, woof." 154 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:25,560 It was more like, "Ra, ra, ra, ra, ra! Ahhhhhh! No, noooo!" 155 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,600 OK! OK. Sort of the pack of them. 156 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,120 Have you got a nicer story? 157 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:32,480 Maybe one about a brave Greek hero! 158 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:34,000 I've got just the one. 159 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,480 The tale of Theseus And The Minotaur. 160 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:39,080 A monster that's half-man, half-bull. 161 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,880 BULL BELLOWS Once upon a time... 162 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:42,240 Oh, that's more like it. 163 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:44,280 ..there was a monster eating children. 164 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,800 I've actually got some pictures here. Oh, no, no, no. 165 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,600 Have you got anything in there that's suitable for children? 166 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,040 Let me have a look. 167 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:55,320 Ate his children...smashed by rocks...monster, monster, monster... 168 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:56,960 Oh, yeah. 169 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:58,160 Icarus, yeah. 170 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:01,160 His dad made him some wings out of wax and feathers. 171 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:04,720 Ooh, and did he go on a lovely adventure with his new friends, 172 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:06,680 the seagulls? Initially, 173 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:09,120 then he flew too close to the sun, and the wax melted, 174 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,480 and he crashed into the sea and drowned horribly. 175 00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,920 SPLASH, SEAGULL CAWS Bluh! Bu-luh, bu-luh, bu-luh. 176 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:17,400 Ha, ha, ha. OK, a-and that's all we have for today. 177 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,640 Goodnight, children. Sleep well. 178 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:23,040 And, remember, monsters aren't real. 179 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:24,760 Oh, they are. 180 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:25,840 Very real. 181 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:30,240 Hi, I'm the Greek hero Herakles, 182 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,920 or as the Romans called me, Hercules. 183 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,080 YELP Bull's-eye! 184 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,440 They're always bull's-eyes. 185 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:39,920 I'm a demigod. 186 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:42,800 Being a demigod means that I was the son of a mortal, 187 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:47,240 my mum Alcmene, and the son of a god, my dad Zeus. 188 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:50,680 Butt out, Dad! This is my story. 189 00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:53,040 Sorry, Son! Mum wasn't married to Zeus. 190 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,160 He already had a wife called Hera. 191 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:58,120 Hera was so angry when she found out that I was Zeus' son 192 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:01,880 that she got King Eurystheus to give me ten impossible tasks 193 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:03,440 called Labours. 194 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:05,720 She hoped that one of them would kill me. 195 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:09,720 Instead, I aced the lot and became a legend. 196 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:11,400 The king even gave me two extra tasks 197 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:13,200 because he said I cheated. 198 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:14,960 So which of these was one of 199 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:17,160 the 12 Labours of Herakles? 200 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:18,600 Did I have to... 201 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:22,960 BIRD CAWS Ow! 202 00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:26,960 DOG BARKS 203 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,760 COW MOOS 204 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,080 And the answer is... 205 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:34,480 ..all three. 206 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:38,920 Yep. I even have to muck out the huge stables belonging to King Augeas. 207 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:41,760 COWS MOO AND FART Ugh! And they haven't been cleaned 208 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,080 for 30 years! COW FARTS 209 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:47,280 You know what? There's piles of this stuff. 210 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:50,520 It'd be quicker to just divert a river through the whole building 211 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:52,800 and wash it all away. 212 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,040 Actually, I might just do that. 213 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:57,960 Whoop! 214 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,360 Ohhh. That's disgusting. 215 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,040 OK, guys. Listen up. 216 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,160 Hi, I'm Jason. 217 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:06,560 OTHERS: Hi, Jason. 218 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:08,880 Herakles, looking strong. Oh, thanks. 219 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,840 Orpheus, looking dashing. Likewise. 220 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,560 And Atalanta. Oh, divine. I know. 221 00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:16,200 I, too, am feeling very well, 222 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,640 in case anyone was wondering. Thanks, Castor. 223 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,280 And thank you all for agreeing to help me to my rightful place 224 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:22,600 on the throne of Thessaly. 225 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:26,040 The plan is simply to sail from Greece to Colchis 226 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,960 to find the Golden Fleece. SHEEP BAAS 227 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:32,440 The Golden Fleece. Oh, so much talking! 228 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:35,080 Can we not just go and get the stupid rug and come back? 229 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:37,360 Thanks, Atalanta. There's just one or two things 230 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,000 I want to prepare my Argonauts for. 231 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,640 What's an Argonaut? Yeah, is that like a peanut? 232 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,320 Because I'm allergic, you know. No. 233 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:44,640 Our ship is called the Argo. 234 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:46,840 Therefore, you guys are the Argonauts. 235 00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:48,120 Mm-mm. There she is. 236 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:50,920 Lucky the ship wasn't called Coco. HERAKLES CHUCKLES 237 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:51,960 Coconuts. 238 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:55,280 QUIETLY: Just forget it. 239 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,440 OK, first stop... Yeah. ..is the island of Lemnos. 240 00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:00,240 Lemnos. That's an island populated by single women. 241 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:01,640 Oh, yeah! All right, yeah. Come on! 242 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,200 They're single because the goddess Aphrodite cursed them all! 243 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:05,480 I knew it was too good to be true. 244 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,880 And they all killed their lovers. That an optional stop? 245 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:10,840 After that, we'll stop at Bear Mountain, where there are giants 246 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:13,200 with six arms called the Gegenees. Gegenees! There he is. 247 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,720 Sure that's not just three people 248 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:15,960 standing behind each other? 249 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,480 We'll also be stopping off 250 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,160 in Thrace, where it'll all be 251 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,720 parties, parties, parties. CROWD CHEERS 252 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:22,840 And Harpies. 253 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:24,760 Wait, what was that last one? Harpies. 254 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:27,680 CASTOR CAWS They're half-women, half-birds, 255 00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:28,760 with big old bird claws. 256 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:30,800 They're extremely violent. CASTOR CAWS 257 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,040 It still seems like a lot of work for a rug. 258 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,240 So after the massive rocks that smash ships to pieces 259 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:36,520 is when things get tricky. 260 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:38,880 Oh, right. That's when things get tricky, is it? 261 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:41,120 Oh, yes. We'll be facing fire-breathing cows... 262 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:42,320 Hang on. 263 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:43,840 I'm taking notes. OK. 264 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,080 And also the dragon that never sleeps. 265 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,920 How do we deal with the dragon? 266 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,040 The plan is to put it to sleep. 267 00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:53,840 So we put the sleepless dragon...to sleep. 268 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:55,480 I didn't say it was a good plan. 269 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,280 Once we've got the Golden Fleece, it's a simple journey, back 270 00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:01,560 past the deadly sirens to Thessaly, where my uncle will make me king. 271 00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:04,200 CRASH That's your idea of simple, 272 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:07,040 is it? Yeah, seems pretty doable. Sir, you're forgetting to tell them 273 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,840 about the Talos. The what now? 274 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:12,640 It's a big metal man hurling boulders and doing this... 275 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:15,400 No, no, no, no. It's still too much work for a rug! 276 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,720 Look, they sell the same ones down the market. 277 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:21,040 I've seen them. Right, new plan. Let's go to the market. 278 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,520 Do any of you have any money? 279 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:26,160 Noooo! Fine! I'll go with Jason. 280 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:27,400 And the Argonauts! 281 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,160 Oh, Argo-NAUTS. 282 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,880 Right. Come on. Guys, wait for me. 283 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:33,760 Argonauts, assemble! 284 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,800 Oh, hey, guys. It's me, Zeus. ZEUS QUACKS 285 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,000 I've transformed myself into a goose. ZEUS QUACKS 286 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,440 Yeah, Zeusy-goosey, baby! Ha, ha. 287 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,800 The myth said that we gods could disguise ourselves 288 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,200 by transforming into animals. 289 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,400 And I like nothing better than a bit of shapeshifting, 290 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,440 especially when I was trying to romance people 291 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:53,680 I had a crush on. 292 00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:55,880 Zeus-Goose, out. ZEUS QUACKS 293 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:02,400 Going on a date can be a stressful event for anyone, 294 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,280 so imagine what it feels like 295 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,720 to be going on a date with a god. 296 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,480 Let's do this! 297 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:13,040 Roxi, a nurse from Margate, has arrived for her first 298 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,280 date with Zeus. 299 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:16,000 I'll be honest, dating a god 300 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,240 is a step up for me. 301 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:19,280 I usually date DJs. 302 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,920 Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. There's a giant ant on the table. 303 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,120 This is your date. This is the god, Zeus. 304 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:25,880 HIGH-PITCHED: Well, hello there. 305 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:28,560 Uh... Have fun. Thank you. Enjoy. 306 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:31,440 Yeah, that was me. 307 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,680 I like to make an effort, dress up for a date. 308 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:37,960 I turned into a cuckoo to woo the goddess Hera, a half-goat man 309 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,920 for the princess of Antiope, 310 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,320 swan for Leda, another swan for Nemesis, 311 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,160 and today an ant. 312 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:45,360 Yeah, chicks dig ants. 313 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,160 I'll be honest. 314 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,160 An ant is a disappointment. 315 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:53,160 Can you imagine introducing an ant to your parents? 316 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,360 They were angry enough about DJ Terry. 317 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:58,760 Roxi has been to the ladies' room to text her friend, Sherry. 318 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:02,000 It's not all she was doing in there. Aw, that stinks! 319 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:05,240 You OK? Ambrosia went right through me. 320 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:07,080 So sorry, I know the feeling. 321 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,720 Take a seat. Oh, hey, babe. 322 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,760 Oh! Oh! Wait, no! GASPS 323 00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:13,040 That was your date! That was Zeus! 324 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,920 No! Yes! 325 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,160 I mean, I knew he'd appeared 326 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:20,600 as a fire to date Asopus but, still, 327 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,040 you don't expect it! ROXI SCOFFS 328 00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:27,360 Things are looking up for Roxi, as Zeus has now transformed himself 329 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:29,280 into an ancient Greek shepherd. 330 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:32,000 So, have you been married before? 331 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,480 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Seven times, 332 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:36,560 including to two of my aunts and two of my sisters. 333 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:38,120 Oh, and I ate my first wife. 334 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,040 You ate your wife? Uh-huh. 335 00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:45,600 Ooh! I think Zeus has transformed into a pile of gold. 336 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,440 I think I can work with this. Ha, ha! 337 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:50,120 Uh, looks like he's paying. CHUCKLING: Yes. 338 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,160 CRASH, MOOING 339 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,160 He just turned into a bull, didn't he? 340 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,440 He did. MOOING CONTINUES 341 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:58,240 Honestly, I've been on worse dates. 342 00:14:58,240 --> 00:14:59,680 That's life. 343 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,520 I wonder why Zeus never chose to turn into a rat. 344 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:08,200 I have a good mind to have a word with him about it. 345 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:11,160 I mean, we can be symbols of romance, too. 346 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,200 Here, listen. Music, please! HARP PLAYS 347 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:17,480 348 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:20,720 surrounded by... 349 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,360 Yeah, you know what? Forget it. He was probably right about us. 350 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:26,200 And besides, it's best not to bother him. 351 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:29,000 You don't want to get on the wrong side of a Greek god. 352 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:32,640 They had terrible tempers and the punishments they dished out 353 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,240 were eye-watering. 354 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,680 Arrrrgh! Argh. 355 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:39,880 Ughhh! Arrrrgh! 356 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,080 Arrrgh... Gaaah! 357 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:45,760 Ooh, no! Not again! 358 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:48,200 Arrrgh! Arrrr. 359 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:49,640 All right? All right. 360 00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:53,440 I'm King Tantalus. Sisyphus. Aaargh! Yeah, listen. 361 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,640 You couldn't keep the screaming down, could you? 362 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:57,120 Oh, sorry about that. 363 00:15:57,120 --> 00:16:02,560 It's just the rock's really heavy and... Arrrrgh! Ooh. 364 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:05,280 Oh, I can't believe I've got to do this for eternity. 365 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,840 They said if I pushed a rock to the top of the hill, 366 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,960 I could live forever! But I never quite make it. 367 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,320 SISYPHUS SIGHS What'd you do to deserve that? 368 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,720 Well, I tricked the god of death. 369 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,560 Heh! He tried to tie me up, 370 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,360 but I tied him up instead. GOD OF DEATH GROWLS 371 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,440 Oh, I remember. Yeah! 372 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:25,560 No-one died because the god of death was tied up. Woohoo! 373 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:29,120 Mm-mm. I was sent to the land of the dead as punishment. 374 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,640 But I got sent back to the land of the living, 375 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,880 because I told my wife not to bury my body properly. 376 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:36,440 Mm-mm? 377 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:38,720 Whoa... Gaaah! Why'd you do that? 378 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,720 So they'd send me back to tell her off. And that worked? 379 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:44,560 Yep. Lived to a ripe old age. 380 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:45,840 But Zeus was annoyed 381 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,600 so, as punishment, he's made me do this. 382 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:51,320 Yaaah... Yes! I'm going to do it! KING TANTALUS GASPS 383 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:54,320 Waaah. Ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow! Gah! 384 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:55,520 Whoa. Phew! 385 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,160 You're punishment doesn't look bad. 386 00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:58,800 Having a paddle and nibbling fruit? 387 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:02,520 Oh, yeah? Watch this. Ooh! Oh. 388 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:05,760 This time? Argh... Oh, no! 389 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,840 That is tantalisingly close! 390 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:10,320 Yeah, well, actually that's where the word comes from. 391 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:11,880 My name is Tantalus. 392 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:13,520 And there's this. 393 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:14,600 Ugh! 394 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,080 I haven't drunk or eaten anything 395 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:17,360 since I've been here. 396 00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:18,640 Still, could be worse. 397 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,560 Could be King Phlegyas. All right, Phlegyas? Mm-mm. 398 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:25,080 Buried in rock and unable to reach a wonderful feast. 399 00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:28,360 Poor bloke. Yaaargh. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! 400 00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:30,680 Puh, owww! I'm up for swapping if he is! 401 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:33,200 GROANING AND GRUNTING 402 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:36,320 Hi. I'm Pandora. 403 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,160 Zeus had me moulded from clay 404 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:40,400 to bring temptation and ruin to men. 405 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:45,240 The legend says I had a box which, when opened, would release terrible 406 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:47,120 suffering into the world. 407 00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:51,640 Or at least that's how you might hear the story told in school. 408 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:54,160 But in the original story, 409 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,880 there was something different 410 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:57,600 about Pandora's box. 411 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:58,800 Was it... 412 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,280 FART 413 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,800 Or C, that the box... 414 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,080 The answer is... 415 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,560 ..B, it wasn't a box at all. 416 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:17,800 It was actually a jar. 417 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,480 The famous 16th-century writer Erasmus 418 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,840 made a mistake in his translation, 419 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:26,120 and people have wrongly called it Pandora's box, 420 00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:29,880 instead of Pandora's jar, ever since. SHE CHUCKLES 421 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:33,280 Amazing really to think that all the plagues and evils 422 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,680 in the world could fit into a little jar like that. 423 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:40,880 Right. Uh, yeah. 424 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:44,200 That's...definitely broken. Um... 425 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,440 Run away. 426 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:49,520 One of the most famous Greek myths is the story of Troy, the city 427 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:53,960 that had a ten-year war with Greece until the legendary king Odysseus 428 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:58,520 came up with a clever way of sneaking a Greek army into Troy 429 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,480 just when the Trojans thought the fighting had finished. 430 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,160 431 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,920 432 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:10,800 433 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,480 In the moment. 434 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,640 Hey, Deiphobus? Oh, yeah. Hey, babes. 435 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:23,000 You know how, like, the Greeks have gone and the war is over? 436 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,960 I really want to talk about our relationship. 437 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:29,040 Basically, I just... I want to know where your head is at. 438 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,000 Sorry, babe. I'm, like, super focused 439 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,520 on this massive wooden horse right now. 440 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,680 OMG, I actually can't believe you're talking 441 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:40,200 about horses right now. This is so not OK. 442 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:44,200 It's just, like, super weird that, like, a giant wooden horse turns up, 443 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,040 like, literally the day after the Greeks leave. 444 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:50,400 Can we please talk about the massive elephant in the room? 445 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:51,960 No way, there's an elephant too? Wow. 446 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:53,840 SHE SCOFFS Bro, she's pouring her heart 447 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:55,320 out down there. 448 00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:00,400 OK, is it just me or did that massive wooden horse just speak? 449 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:04,040 And did it not, like, sound like the Greek hero, Diomedes? 450 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:07,640 WHISPERS: Diomedes, you're supposed to be hiding! Yeah. Sorry, bro. 451 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,720 I'll be quiet. Just shush! 452 00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:11,840 OK. Is the horse now arguing with itself? 453 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,640 DIOMEDES NEIGHS 454 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,240 It's making horse noises, Deiphobus. 455 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:19,000 It's a horse. Get over it. 456 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,680 No, no. Like, I hear that. I hear that. 457 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:25,800 It's just, like, should a wooden horse be, like, making any noises, 458 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,720 like, at all? 459 00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:30,000 WHISPERS: This is why I said to be quiet! 460 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,160 I don't know, Deiphobus! 461 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,360 I'm not, like, a horse expert. 462 00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:37,240 I'm just someone trying to have a convo with her hubby. 463 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,280 No, no, no. Like, I hear that. I hear that. 464 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:43,040 But it's just, like, this wooden horse could be full of, like, enemy 465 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:44,920 soldiers or something. 466 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:46,600 And, like, letting them into the city 467 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,000 would be, like, serious yikes. 468 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,280 You will do anything to avoid talking about your feelings, 469 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:52,800 won't you? What's next? 470 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,320 You're going to tell me my ex-hubby 471 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,000 Menelaus is in there too? 472 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,440 Yeah. Hi, hon. WHISPERS: Sh, guys! 473 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:03,520 DIOMEDES NEIGHS Clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop. 474 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:06,840 It's a wooden horse! It doesn't neigh or clip-clop! 475 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,680 Just... Fingers on lips. 476 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:09,920 OK, fine. 477 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,920 I'm going to do impressions of all the Greek captains' wives, 478 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:15,040 and if they're in there, they'll have to reply. 479 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,280 That's amazing. Let's do it. 480 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:20,280 "Hello, Odysseus. It's your wife, Penelope. 481 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:23,640 "How are you in there?" Oh, gee. Odysseus, your wife's outside. 482 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,040 WHISPERS: Fingers on lips! But I... It's a trap! 483 00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:28,200 DEIPHOBUS AND HELEN CHUCKLE Cracking impression, babe. 484 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:29,680 OK, OK. My go, my go. OK. 485 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,920 I'm going to do Menelaus' wife. OK. 486 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:36,720 NASALLY: "Um, like, um, eh... Menelauuus. I am your wiiife, 487 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:38,280 "like, ah." Hang on. 488 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,560 I was Menelaus' wife. Uh... 489 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:43,000 That's a really hurtful impression, actually. 490 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,360 Is that really how you think I sound? 491 00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:47,480 Um... N-No. 492 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,920 It is. It's totally how you sound. 493 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,480 OK, fine. 494 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:52,920 I'll settle this. 495 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:56,680 Menelaus, are you hiding in there with a bunch of Greek soldiers? 496 00:21:58,040 --> 00:21:59,320 Um... 497 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:02,560 ..no. 498 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,800 There! See? OK. Well, I can't argue with that. 499 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,760 Better take it inside the city and leave it unguarded all night. 500 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:12,440 Fine, I'll get him some hay. 501 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,120 See you later, Helen. 502 00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:15,480 Gah! I give up. 503 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:21,760 After the war, Odysseus returned home on a journey that was described 504 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:25,360 in an ancient poem called The Odyssey, written by me, 505 00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:27,640 the Greek storyteller, Homer. 506 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:30,520 CAT MEOWS Ooh! His trip took ten years 507 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,320 and was filled with terrifying 508 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:36,520 encounters with mythical beasts like the siren of the sea, a deadly 509 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,720 creature whose singing voice no-one could resist. 510 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,600 It's just like me when I'm singing in the shower. 511 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,760 People can't resist... 512 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:47,840 ..shouting, "Put a cork in it, Homer. You're scaring the donkey." 513 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:50,720 DONKEY GRUNTS Charming! 514 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,560 515 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:57,440 She was the most enchanting creature in the sea, 516 00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,920 The Little Siren. 517 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,920 Half-woman, half... 518 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:03,320 ..bird? 519 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:04,960 Well, fish would be silly. 520 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,000 Yeah, I guess. 521 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:10,000 She dreamt of being with people. 522 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:11,640 Well, being with them 523 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:12,880 while eating them. 524 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:15,440 When they hear me sing they can't resist my voice, 525 00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:18,720 so they jump off their boats. Ha, ha! 526 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,680 You sound too beautiful...! 527 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:24,440 SPLASH A voice so beguiling, 528 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:26,320 men would die for it. 529 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,520 Do you do requests? Ah! SPLASH 530 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,960 Starring Odysseus, the Greek hero 531 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,600 on his way back from the Trojan War. 532 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:38,400 I, Odysseus, am too strong and heroic to be tempted by your song. 533 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,440 But I have asked my men to tie me to my boat just in case. 534 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,480 Men?! Protect your ears. 535 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:45,520 He's the hero who survived 536 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:47,080 by being tied to his mast 537 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,160 so he couldn't jump overboard. 538 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,400 And who told his men to fill their ears with rags 539 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,360 so they didn't heed the siren's call. 540 00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:56,000 Gaaah! The tunes! 541 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,560 They're just so banging! 542 00:23:58,560 --> 00:23:59,840 I must go to you, 543 00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:02,320 even though I'm married and you're mostly seagull. 544 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,520 We could make it work! 545 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:07,280 Also starring legendary hero Jason 546 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:08,800 and his Argonauts. 547 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,560 Another ship full of Greeks for my collection. Heh, heh! 548 00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,360 But in Jason and one of his crewmates, she had finally 549 00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:15,880 met her musical match. 550 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,200 551 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,920 La, la, la, la, laaa... 552 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:23,520 Who is that? 553 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,800 Orpheus, keep playing your song. 554 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,680 Orpheus, who the myths say, 555 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,160 with his lyre, drowned her out 556 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,360 with the most beautiful song in the world. 557 00:24:31,360 --> 00:24:33,200 558 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:37,360 The Little Siren - nobody can resist her charms. 559 00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:40,720 Except Odysseus, Jason and Jason's mate Orpheus, 560 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,960 and any other Greek who wanted to show they could outsmart her, really. 561 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,960 Whatevs. I don't fancy Greek for lunch anyway. 562 00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,800 The ancient Greeks really did believe 563 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,000 in all these gods and their myths, 564 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:55,240 and these stories are still everywhere you look today. 565 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,520 They're in our books and films, 566 00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,560 and they live on in the stars 567 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:01,560 of the night sky. 568 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:02,720 Oooh! 569 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:04,600 Something ancient astronomer Ptolemy 570 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,280 has a little tune about. 571 00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:10,520 572 00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,880 573 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,800 574 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:21,960 575 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:29,360 and screw your eyes up a bit 576 00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:36,080 577 00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:41,200 578 00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:44,160 579 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:54,200 580 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:56,440 581 00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:59,840 582 00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:07,160 583 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:11,840 Just think of constellations like big dot-to-dots, man. 584 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:13,000 That one's Hercules - 585 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:14,960 or Herakles, if you're saying it properly. 586 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:16,360 There's Cancer, the crab that bit 587 00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:17,440 Herakles' foot... Ow! 588 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:19,640 ..Leo, the lion that Herakles killed, 589 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:22,200 Triangulum, the...triangle. 590 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,040 Well, they can't all be great stories. 591 00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:27,080 592 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:30,720 593 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:40,520 594 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:45,480 we put all the myths 595 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:52,240 596 00:26:55,320 --> 00:27:00,720 I wrote down 48 constellations in my 150AD book, The Almagest. 597 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,160 Sorry, what does it mean? 598 00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:03,760 Oh, the greatest. 599 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,080 Is that referring to me or the stars? 600 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:07,440 You decide. 601 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,360 I think you know the answer. 602 00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:13,600 603 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:18,000 604 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:24,080 are blown throooough 605 00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:28,760 606 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,880 607 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:39,480 Oh, yeah! 608 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:44,560 They're half-birds with big bird claws. 609 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:45,600 Big bird claws. 610 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:47,160 They're extremely violent, vicious 611 00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:49,160 and cru... CASTOR SNORTS, LAUGHTER 612 00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:51,040 CRASH Ooh, dear! 613 00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:52,440 LAUGHING: What was that? 614 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:54,120 It's Zeus! LAUGHTER 615 00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:56,600 616 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:57,840 617 00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:01,680 45016

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