Original subtitles

I've died more times that I can remember.

Quick.

Slow.

Painful, peaceful.

In the end it always...

always feels the same.

A cold descent into nothing.

I no longer exist.

Then...

gradually, one sense at a time, I come back.

You're saying you can rise from the dead.

No, no one can rise from the dead.

But we all return.

You were going to tell us why you killed your father.

That's what I'm doing.

No, you're stalling.

Why don't you start at the beginning?

There is no beginning! No end.

Life is a scratched record looping over and over again.

But you don't remember that you've heard the song before...

so you keep on dancing...

singing along ...oblivious.

But not you...

because you're special.

What makes you special, Gideon?

I can remember the song,

and I can move the needle.

You're almost there.

That's it, that's it.

You're nearly there.

We made a miracle.

In the name of The Father...

and of The Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

Jonah spent three days and three nights in the belly of the whale

and all that time he prayed to God to ask forgiveness.

He promised he would never try to hurt...

Oh.

Oh, Gideon, he's kicking.

Here.

Maybe Gideon can blow the candle out for you.

Don't touch.

Gideon!

Lawrence, stop!

Gideon, get back here.

Right now.

Naked I came from my mother's womb

and naked I will depart.

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.

In the name of the Lord be praised.

This is the word of the Lord.

Thanks be to God.

When we're in church you sit still and you show respect!

Hands on the table.

You made a fool of yourself.

Oh, I'm the fool?

You're the one who sat there quoting scripture all evening.

You realise everyone was laughing at you?

No, it was just you and him.

Oh, so I'm not allowed to speak to other men now?

You can speak to whoever you want.

Just don't try to coax them into bed in front of all of my friends.

Oh, that's what you hate isn't it?

Your friends.

James is my friend.

He wants to talk to me!

He doesn't want talk to you, Moira.

He wants to make you his whore!

Good! Maybe I should let him!

See what it feels like when it's done properly!

Go on then, hit me!

Hit me!

You boys be good for your mother while I'm away.

Gideon, look after Malcolm.

Make sure he behaves.

Where are you going?

Mummy said you lost all the money.

Mummy doesn't understand, but Daddy's gonna fix it,

like he always does.

Okay?

"'This is for you, ' said the kind dog.

'Thank you, ' said Thomas.

'Now I don't have to be sad anymore.

As long as I have this

I will think of you and I will never be lonely again.'"

Read it again.

Where are we goin'?

Daddy?

We have to say a prayer.

Why?

Mummy needs us to pray for her soul.

For what she did.

What did Mummy do?

She did a very bad thing...

against Daddy.

Against God.

So now we have to pray.

All three of us.

Pray with me.

Good boys.

Jonah spent three days and three nights

in the belly of the whale,

and all that time he prayed to God to ask forgiveness.

Don't touch.

Gideon!

Naked I came from my mother's womb

and naked I will depart.

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.

In the name of the Lord be praised.

Oh, so I'm not allowed to speak to other men now?

You can speak to whoever you want,

just don't try to coax them into bed in front of all my friends.

"Now I don't have to be sad anymore.

As long as I have this I will think of you.

And I will never be lonely again."

We made a miracle.

Here.

- Don't touch. - Gideon!

Lawrence stop!

Lawrence stop!

Gideon, get back here!

He doesn't want to talk to you, Moira.

He wants to make his whore!

Good! Maybe I should let him.

See what it feels like when it's done properly!

I knew my mother would never understand.

No one would.

So I ran away...

as far as I could get.

I had nowhere to go.

No one to look after me.

I was alone.

I didn't understand what was happening.

Or why.

But every life came with its own lessons.

It was never long before they found me.

We see him.

But every time they did...

Come down, son. No, no!

I started again.

Okay.

So you're saying that your entire defence

rests on your belief in what exactly?

- Reincarnation? - Recurrence.

Same body. The same life.

And it's not a defence, it's an explanation. It's the truth.

Well, thank you for clarifying. That's very helpful.

Please don't.

You want to submit me for a physiological evaluation,

that would be a mistake.

When I walked in here tonight, you told me we'd already met.

Was that in this lifetime or another?

If it was this lifetime, you would have remembered me.

So all this has happened before?

No, not exactly.

- Lucy? - You change things?

So you're saying that's how you manage to survive.

Because you know what's going to happen next?

For the most part.

I only hide where I won't be found.

I only steal when I won't be caught.

I only fight when I know I can win.

We searched your place by the tracks.

Found cash.

Thirteen thousand pounds give or take.

- Was that stolen? - No.

Once I can pass for 18, I don't need to steal anymore.

And why is that?

I'm very good at picking a winner.

Evelyn!

Can you believe it?

Halstead's Parade, the rank outsider at 50/1

has won it by a length.

Absolutely incredible!

One of their tyres blew out on a bend.

They were all dead.

Parents, two kids.

I couldn't help them.

Not in that life.

But it didn't matter.

It didn't matter because I knew,

I knew why this was happening to me.

I knew why I'd met that little girl in the park.

I knew why I had witnessed her death.

Why my memories followed me through every lifetime.

I remembered that family.

I took their names to my grave.

And now, in every new life, I find them again.

I go to their house on the morning of the crash

and I make sure that car never leaves the driveway.

You think you're saving people?

I know I am.

And in every new life,

I learn a little more about the nature of suffering.

When I hear about a tragedy, I write down what happened.

Where, when, to whom.

The fire was attributed to an electrical fault

on a brand new tumble dryer, causing it to overheat during the night.

The manufacturers have assured customers that this is a rare fault...

And in my next life...

I fix it.

The strange thing is,

even when I stop a fire, I can still smell the smoke.

House fires. Car crashes.

If you could really see the future, why not stop 9-11?

How?

With a phone call?

It's worth a try.

It's not!

Believe me. I can't stop 9-11.

Not yet.

But I did stop 7-12.

- What's 7-12? - Exactly.

So you're a hero?

I never said that.

'Cause we found child pornography on your laptop.

It wasn't my laptop.

- No? - I stole it from Harold Slade.

I thought if I could get it to the right people he'd be arrested!

Locked up before...

But that's not what you did.

No, because I changed my mind!

- Why? - Because I saw what was on it.

I looked into his soul and I saw nothing but foulness.

After that, I knew he had to die.

You went back to his house and you murdered him.

Crossed his name off your list.

Literally, as it turns out.

They found this in your jacket when they brought you in.

Got some names, dates, past, present.

Future.

It's barely legible, you need to work on your hand writing.

Hey! I'm gonna keep that in mind.

Here's the thing.

When you bought this book, the pages were blank.

They were.

You say when something happens, you write it down.

So let's just say...

Let's just say you really do recur.

In the next recurrence, these pages are blank again.

Your notes can't follow you into the next life,

so why bother writing anything down?

Revision.

When I reset, all I have are my memories.

So I surround myself with every detail.

And I learn the world's evils like the lyrics of a song.

When I buy that book,

I fill it with everything I need to remember.

And as I discover new information, I add to it.

Turn to the last page.

I know you, Detective Dhillon.

I need you to understand that.

I know exactly what you're thinking.

I know what you're about to do and what you're about to say.

When you presented that book,

I knew that you were going to criticise my handwriting.

Is that right?

See for yourself.

Do you want one?

No, I want to go back in.

He's playing a game with us.

So play back.

We have to indulge him,

that's the only way we're going to get to the truth, isn't it?

You think he's telling the truth?

I think he's telling the truth as he sees it.

He killed his father to stop his father killing him.

He killed Slade to stop Slade killing those girls.

When he took my son, Ravi, did...

What?

Did he think someone was going to hurt Isaac?

Gideon's deluded, but he's not sadistic.

He thinks his actions are...

are righteous.

That's why he takes them, he thinks he's rescuing them.

If he thinks he's trying to rescue Isaac,

I need to know why. I need to know what that means.

It means Janet Taylor's still alive.

You're not scared?

Do you ever play hide and seek?

A lot of people are gonna be looking for you.

You can't let them find you.

I'm taking you somewhere to hide.

Somewhere safe.

Where no one will hurt you.

You can trust me, Jonah.

I know you don't know me, but I'm a good person.

I am a good person.

You'll never find him.

A little louder, Mr Shepherd.

You'll never find him.

On Tuesday, the third of February 2009,

you drove to a house in Stevenport where you abducted Jonah Edward Taylor

while he was playing in his back garden.

You say you're saving people.

Tell us how you saved him.

It's hard to do a good thing when people call you a monster.

When you're the only one who understands that the world is full of monsters.

They just never look like you imagine them.

Jonah Taylor's parents were going to kill him

and bury him in a shallow grave.

Where did you take him?

I left him with someone I trust.

She keeps him safe.

Takes care of him.

Why?

Why would she harbour a kidnapped child

when she knows the whole country is looking for him?

I explain what will happen if he goes home.

And she believes you?

- She does. - Why?

Because I woke her up.

The lives we lead are like tracks in the snow,

and when we live them again,

we're walking in the tracks we left before.

But if your path changes, there are no tracks.

And living is like wading through thick powder,

some people find it hard.

Evelyn was supposed to die in a car crash

on the 5th of September 1977, but she didn't.

Her family moved on,

but Evelyn,

she could sense something was different.

Part of her would always remember that crash.

She started seeing things that weren't there.

Different patterns in the wallpaper.

Shadows without weight passing across the room.

And people.

Ghosts...

drifting in and out of her reality.

Here one minute,

gone the next.

I realised that she was seeing the world as it was before.

The tracks that others left behind.

Every change causes ripples,

and those ripples followed her wherever she went.

When she was 19 she checked herself into a psychiatric hospital.

I got her out.

I helped her come to terms with the glitches in her reality.

We found her an old house on the moor where the ripples wouldn't find her,

and in time she was able to make sense of her memories.

So she's like you?

In a lot of ways, yes.

In every new lifetime, her memories return,

so she knows what she has to do.

But she never could stand the ripples.

That's why she always moves to that same house,

to get away from the world.

To create familiar patterns and repeat them.

No ghosts.

No shadows.

Just the company of a little lost boy.

Where's the house?

You'll never find it.

You never have.

You enjoy it, don't you?

This power, this... knowledge.

I enjoy helping people.

Making the world a better place,

but it isn't always that simple.

Yo! Pack it in, man!

It's supposed to be low key out here.

Who's this?

This ain't a fucking drive-through.

Hey, back up, man.

Back up!

Aiden Stenner stabbed a pregnant woman to death

over her boyfriend's drug debts.

If he dies she lives.

That's the trade.

Now, I know that, that is right,

but I still can't bring myself to look him in the eye.

Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah!

You didn't kill Aiden Stenner

and his victim wasn't a pregnant woman.

No, because when your friend waged war on those dealers,

nothing was the same.

I couldn't track the chaos, I'm sorry.

Are you?

You'll see your friend again.

One day.

Death isn't the end of this story.

It's just punctuation.

Punctuation? That's how you see it?

That's how you justify the killing?

There is no justification.

Every time I take a life,

I grieve for the part of me that dies.

I'll be sure to tell the victim's families,

they'll be very moved.

- I'm not who you think I am! - No.

I understand. You hate murder.

It makes you sick.

Torture, on the other hand...

I saw what you did to Connor Larsen before you shot him in the back.

- Connor Larsen rapes five women. - Larsen never raped anyone.

Yeah, because I stopped it.

Because I stopped it!

Why the torture then? Why not just kill him?

- It wasn't torture. - What was it?

It was an experiment.

Fear can change a person's nature,

and fear transcends lifetimes.

Imagine if you could make a murderer afraid of blood?

Or a rapist disgusted by sex?

What the fuck!

Hey!

Hey!

It never ends,

this eternal recurrence.

All the death, all the suffering.

Whatever I do, it comes back around.

But if I can change a person on the inside,

flick a switch, then there's hope.

Hope for their victims?

Hope for me.

The only problem is I always run out of time.

And I always end up here.

This room, these handcuffs.

Whatever I do, wherever I go,

someone always finds me eventually, and it's always the same detective.

Maybe I should ask for a raise?

Yeah, maybe you should.

If we always end up here then you've told me this story before.

Yeah, I have.

- And have I ever believed you? - No, you haven't.

Then why bother telling it again?

Because I'm not trying to convince you, Detective Dhillon.

Lucy, I'm telling the truth.

And I can prove it to you.

You can prove it to yourself.

It's one question.

Lucy, think... hard.

What's the worst thing you've ever experienced?

I stayed alive for you.

Incarcerated.

Alone for 25 years

waiting for you to come back.

It was the longest 25 years I've ever lived.

They made me share a cell with some animal

who murdered his wife and kid.

Said it wasn't his fault.

Drinking gave him a temper.

A temper.

What the fuck are you looking at?

I added his name to the list.

I added a lot of names.

It's not hard for me to reset,

all I need is a piece glass or a razor blade.

But I resisted. I suffered prison for you.

Now I need you to do something for me.

Remember, Lucy, remember!

And answer the question.

What's the worst thing you've ever experienced?

Mummy?

Lucy? What's wrong?

No, she didn't, she's not... she's not...

I changed it.

- I stopped it. - Sit down!

You told me the worst thing that ever happened to you,

and 30 years ago I stopped it.

I broke into your house,

I removed the firing pin

from your grandfather's old shotgun.

Your mother pulled the trigger.

She reached the brink...

but you got a second chance.

Argh!

After that, you lead a very different life.

- Lucy, we need to go. - Give her a minute.

Shut up!

Come on.

You're not supposed to be here.

You're not supposed to be a lot of things.

This isn't your life.

Sorry.

Lucy?

Open the door!

Lucy! Open the door!

You said my life was different, different to what?

Every life you've ever led.

- You're making new tracks now. - How so?

I can help you remember,

but you'll only wake up if you get there on your own.

And we've got to wake you up, Lucy, we got to, because I made a promise.

The last time we met you asked me to do this.

We didn't realise how different your life was going to be.

You're not who you were.

But I was married...

- to Mike? - No.

So, Isaac?

He's not supposed to be here.

That's why you tried to take him away.

No. No, no, no. I didn't. I didn't.

I didn't. Lucy, no, I didn't.

- Give me your shoelace. - What?

Please. Please, just give me your shoelace. Please!

Lucy, don't.

I just... I just want to show you something.

I'm not going to strangle you with it. Please!

Every knot is the end of one lifetime

and the beginning of the next.

Now, I used to think it was a straight line.

You live, you die.

You live, you die.

That's how I experience it.

But I wasn't seeing the whole picture.

What if, when we start a new loop,

that's exactly what it is?

A loop.

It's a new life, but it's passing along the same curve.

I can remember my previous lives.

They're in my past,

but they're also happening in my present.

Simultaneous, parallel.

And now these loops,

they're so tightly wound that they're almost touching.

So that's why we glimpse the world as it was before.

You wake in the night to the sound of a shot that never fired.

You see the things that were and the things that weren't.

You were never supposed to live in that house, Lucy.

Neither was Isaac.

But Isaac isn't like us.

He's not bound to this lifetime.

Where you can see the echoes of previous loops,

Isaac can reach out and touch them.

Talk to them.

But sometimes he loses his balance

and he slips from one lifetime

into another and disappears from our world altogether.

But why? Why Isaac?

Because he's an anomaly, Lucy.

He's not supposed to exist.

Do you want me to turn that on for you?

Or not.

Just carry on staring into space.

Come here.

Come here. I want to tell you a story.

Your mum says you like stories.

Once upon a time I was having dinner with a girl called Sonia.

All right, she's pretty.

Boring as hell. Zero sense of humour.

You'd have liked her.

Anyway, about halfway through the meal...

I heard this amazing laugh.

This woman was drinking with her friends and she was laughing

so hard that she had piña colada coming out her nose.

Do you know what piña colada is?

People drink it in the sunshine.

I mean, it was raining outside but she didn't care. She just...

wanted a drink with an umbrella in it...

'cause it was fun.

Sonia went home in a taxi,

but I stayed and I spoke to the lady with the piña colada.

And six months later, I married her...

and then for the next three years

we laughed together.

And they're the happiest years of my life.

And then...

you came along and it was over.

No more piña coladas, no more laughing.

You destroyed our lives.

Do you know that?

Do you even feel anything?

It's like there's no one in there.

Go play somewhere else.

There's something vital in every human life

that crosses over from one loop to the next.

Isaac doesn't have that. He can't.

You know what I'm talking about, that... that... that spark of humanity,

a spirit.

A soul.

He came from nothing. He will return to nothing.

He is a husk.

Devoid of life, devoid of love.

I know you tried to love him into existence, but that's impossible.

That's not going to work.

He is never going to love you.

He's never going to feel joy.

He's never going to be real.

I know you care about your son...

but he's not the real reason you're here.

You nearly had me going there.

But you gave yourself away.

How so?

My son loves me.

Has he ever said that?

Have you?

For all your wisdom, for all these lives you've supposedly lead,

have you ever been loved?

Have you ever loved anyone else?

You're the husk, Gideon.

My son is more real than you could ever hope to be.

Goodbye, Lucy.

I'll see you soon.

Isaac?

New message.

Mum, Daddy made me cold.

I want you to come home.

Please come home, Mummy.

I love you.

Mike, Mike.

Mike, where's Isaac?

Mike!

Mike, where's Isaac?

Mike! Where's Isaac?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

- Tell me where he is. - Sorry, I'm sorry.

I went... I went back for him.

What?

I couldn't find him.

I'm sorry.

No, Lucy. Lucy!

Isaac!

Isaac!

Isaac!

Isaac!

Detective Chambers.

Did they get everyone out?

Looks that way.

They're treating the mother for burns.

Is everything all right, ma'am?

It's nothing, just a feeling.

Déjà vu.