Original subtitles

[Music playing]

Theme song: Love, exciting and new.

Come aboard.

We're expecting you.

And love, life's sweetest reward, let it flow.

It floats back to you.

The love boat soon will be making another run.

The love boat promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard.

It's love.

[Chatter]

Enjoy the cruise.

Right that way.

Isaac, will you relax?

You're wearing a hole in the carpet.

Mm, she must be one of your very special ladies.

Well, not exactly, ace.

She's a widow, and her husband was one of my closest friends.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, that's ok.

Lydia, Timmy!

Uncle Isaac!

Hey, how you doing, Tim, huh?

Hey.

All right.

How are you? - Oh, fine.

Good.

Lydia, Timmy, this is captain stubing.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

Hello. Hiya, Timmy.

How do you do, sir?

I was helped my dad when we rented a boat, so if you need

any help rowing, let me know.

Ok.

[Chuckles] And this is our ship's photographer, ace.

Hi, Timmy.

Did you pronounce your name after the card?

Actually, my initials are a-c-e, Ashley Covington Evans.

Stick with ace.

[Laughter]

Ok, captain, move in just a bit.

All right, here we go.

Flash those pearlies.

[Click]

Great, thanks.

Dad would have loved to been here, wouldn't he?

Yeah, Neil's death is still quite new to us.

But Timmy's been a tower of strength to me through it all.

[Chuckles] I'm sure the cruise will be good for both of you.

Yeah.

Dad wanted us to see Isaac's ship.

[Laughs]

Sorry, sir.

Oh, that's ok.

It's Isaac's ship too.

Isaac, why don't you show them to their cabins?

Oh, good idea.

Right on.

Let's see what-- um, oh let me help you with these bags.

I've got them.

Are you sure?

They look kind of heavy.

Maybe for you.

Not for me.

All right.

You, uh, the room clerks?

We can give you your cabin assignments, yes, sir.

Jake diamond, [inaudible] New Jersey, north side.

And you, sir?

With him.

Of course.

Mr. Diamond, Mr. With him.

Uh, Mr. Diamond-- that's promenade

deck cabins 341 and 343.

I notice you have a third person in your party, Ms. Honey

Malloy.

Yeah.

She's around here someplace. (Yells) Honey!

(Yells) What?

What are you doing?

[Thuds]

I'm dropping stuff.

Come on, will ya?

Quit dawdling.

Can I help you?

Ha, not unless you're a chiropractor.

[Laughs]

Anyway, it's sweet of you to offer,

but I'm used to carrying things.

My boyfriend, he doesn't like anybody to help me but him.

Oh.

And he never helps me.

Honey!

Honey: I'm coming.

I'm coming.

Anyway, well thanks very ever so much.

See you.

I plan on it.

All right, you can wait here at the rail,

Ms. Constant, while I check on your cabin number.

Thank you, Dr. Bricker.

You're welcome.

[Sighs] Washburn?

Is there a Mr. Washburn here somewhere?

I'm a washburn.

I'd recognize that tobacco anywhere.

Really?

Um, this is my own blend.

I--

I know, and I haven't smelled it in 18 years.

Millie constant.

You never knew me, but I was your admirer.

My admirer?

Yeah.

I thought I knew all three.

You must be part of the lost tribe.

Well, I can't believe we're all lost.

Syracuse university.

Oh.

[Chuckles]

I had such a crush on you.

I could always tell you were in the vicinity

by your pipe tobacco.

I used to follow you around like a puppy.

I could see then.

And I never asked you out, I mean, for coffee?

I never gave you a chance.

I don't think I ever came within 10 feet of you.

No, I don't believe that we were on the same campus

and that I didn't notice you.

Well, I was, um, I was awfully shy then.

But you can invite me for coffee now.

It'd be my pleasure, Millie.

Maybe we can make up for lost time.

I'd like that.

Uh, about an hour at the pool?

I'll be there.

Well, all set, Ms. Constant?

Whenever you are, Dr. Bricker.

Bye, Sam.

[Horn blowing]

[Theme music]

[Splash]

Honey: And they've got shuffle board.

And they've got a gift shop.

And then later on, there's a movie.

Gin.

So how about it, Jake, what do you feel like doing?

I feel like winning a hand for a change.

Will you pipe down?

Is that all you're gonna do is play cards all day?

Come on, jakey, there's a million

things to do on this ship.

Why don't you go do a couple of hundred of them

and get off my back?

Hello.

Remember me?

Oh, sure.

You're the nice man that stopped to help me when I got on.

I don't think we've been introduced.

I'm miles metcalfe.

Honey Malloy, Jake diamond, Joey the weasel.

Mr. Diamond.

Yeah, good to see.

Mr. Deweisel.

No, no, not "deweisel," "the weasel,"

as in mack the knife, Jack the ripper, Joey the weasel.

You get it?

Yeah.

If you're through with the diction lesson,

I'd like to play some cards here, huh?

Gee, I think i'm intruding here.

Forgive me.

Hold on just a minute.

Listen, pal, what are you gonna do right now?

Ah, nothing special.

I thought I'd just take a stroll around the ship.

Yeah?

How'd you like to take her with you?

- Jake! - What?

What? You want a stroll.

He wants a stroll.

I want some peace and quiet.

Everybody turns out a winner.

What do you say, huh?

To tell you the truth, I'd be honored.

Well, like the man said, why not?

Let's go walking.

Mm, nice tobacco.

Well, thank you.

It's getting a lot of attention today.

Oh?

The right kind of attention?

The best.

Good.

Millie.

You're early.

I'm flattered.

Well, I treat all my admirers with great respect,

humility, and gratitude.

Sit down.

Thanks.

You are beautiful.

You should see you.

Oh, it's been-- it's been 10 years since I've seen me.

It happened slowly.

It wasn't a shock--

expected and planned for as much as you can plan for something

like.

How do you?

You look at everything, memorize every detail,

try to hold onto it.

I used to, um, I used to practice being blind.

I closed my eyes and try to see things I had seen that day.

Are you forgetting things?

Funny questions.

All the pictures in my head are from so long ago.

I nurture their memories.

But I find that I have to be positive about it.

If I'm afraid I'll forget something, then I do forget it.

I remember college, though--

the campus, my friends, and Sam washburn,

who I never even had the nerve to talk to.

And he regrets that you didn't.

I use to fantasize about you--

I did-- dream about you.

I've never forgotten you over all these years, but been here

you are.

Millie, you and I are going to have a wonderful time together.

I already am.

Ooh, who's winning?

I am, but she lets me win.

No, I don't.

You don't?

No.

Then, you sure are a terrible player.

[Laughs] Oh, here you go.

A pink lady for the lady.

Thank you.

And for the champ, a Mr. T milkshake that is extra strong,

so be careful.

Don't just stand there, sucker.

Give it here.

[Chuckling]

Here you go.

Mm, mm.

This is wonderful, Isaac.

Ah, thank you.

Listen, Timmy, would you like to go

on the special Isaac Washington vip tour of the ship?

Let's stop talking, and let's start walking.

All right.

But--

but nothing.

I'll be fine.

You and Isaac run along.

You sure.

That's an order.

Dad always said she was the boss.

[Chuckles] Amazing, the perfect kid.

Yeah.

Perfect like you?

Like me?

We both have mustaches.

[Inaudible] We'll see you later on.

Ok, have a good time.

I just don't think I've ever met

somebody named honey before.

Yeah?

A lot of people think I changed it to go on the stage

or something, but it's right here on my birth certificate,

so I guess that proves it.

You know, it suits you--

a sweet and unusual name for a sweet and unusual woman.

Aw, mister, I like the way you talk.

You know, I think i'd much rather hear you talk.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Oh, that's a switch.

Jake always says I talk too much.

Oh yeah, tell me about him.

Um, I hate to pry, but he wouldn't

be some kind of underworld for you, would he?

Who, Jake?

Yeah.

No, don't be silly.

He's a bookie.

Ahh.

I wonder if he knows what a good bet he has in you.

[Giggles] That's cute.

I get it.

Yeah.

Listen, uh, I don't suppose you could

have dinner with me tonight.

Oh, gee, I don't see how.

I mean, not that I wouldn't like to, but I am with Jake,

you know.

And I don't think that would be right.

Yeah, I don't suppose it would.

No.

I understand.

I knew you would.

You're a perfect gentleman.

[Chuckles] As far as I can see, that's your only fault.

[Chuckles]

Still like poetry?

I like poetry I suppose.

You liked poetry in college.

You took 19th century American poetry.

I had forces behind American literature in the same room

right after you.

You smoked in class.

You've got quite a memory.

Would you mind if I touched your face?

No, if you'd like.

You're not wearing your glasses.

No.

No, I don't mean them anymore.

Made you look distinguished.

You have nice skin, a nice face.

I never thought so until you touched me.

Vicki (on speaker): Attention, please.

Main seating dinner is now being served

in the coral dining room.

[Clinking, chatter]

[Laughter]

Isaac told me he showed you all around the ship

today, Timmy.

What'd you think?

I think it's the best ship I've ever been on.

It's the only ship that you've ever been on.

Nobody likes a squealer.

[Laughter]

So Timmy, what impressed you the most?

The bridge.

I bet my dad would have liked it too.

Yeah, Neil always wanted to be at the helm.

Later on, I'll show you the really important stuff.

I'll show you what a purser does.

Yeah, and I'll show you the costumes

and things we use in the shows.

And if you want, you can help me take pictures

of some of the passengers.

Great!

Flash those pearlies.

[Laughter]

Timmy, do you think you'd like to work on a ship like this?

No, sir.

I mean, I'd like it, especially the uniforms,

but I'm going to be a business executive just like my dad.

I bet you'll make a great one.

I'll try.

I wish my dad was here to see all this.

Isaac: Well, you know, in a way, he is.

What do you mean?

Well, when you love someone, Timmy,

you carry them with you inside.

So even though you can't see him,

your dad is always with you.

Yeah.

But if he was really here, he would have gotten

me a telephone book to sit on.

[Laughter]

Oh, gee doesn't this menu just make your mouth water?

Look at this horse.

Paid 30-to-1 on [inaudible]

They even got your favorite dish, fried elephant ears.

That's great, sweetie.

Now, why don't you order me some?

We lost a bundle on that photo finish at belmont.

Joey the weasel: Yeah, the favorite must have

stopped to pose for the camera.

Hello there.

Oh, hi.

Jake, look who's here.

Who?

Yeah, how you doing?

Fine.

Jake, he shouldn't have to eat alone.

Why not?

Does he eat better in a crowd?

Who is he?

What's the matter with you?

He's the guy I met this morning, the one you roped into showing

me around the ship.

Yeah, that's him?

Weasel, ask the sport if he'd like to join us.

Hey you, over here.

That's no way to invite somebody.

Why not?

He's coming, ain't it?

Hi.

Hi.

Jake thought maybe you might like to joining us.

I'd be delighted.

You know, this is really thoughtful of you, Mr. Diamond.

Right.

I've really got to apologize for these two.

Oh, don't apologize.

This is what I had in mind--

dinner for two.

[Clink]

Goodnight, champ.

Happy dreams.

Goodnight, uncle Isaac.

See you tomorrow.

Oh, didn't you forget something, young man?

Uh-oh.

God, sir, thank you for keeping my mom

and me safe and healthy.

And god, I'm not sure if you met my dad, Neil Thomas,

he's new up there.

I don't know if he saw the game or you

get the newspapers up there, but Philadelphia beat Pittsburgh.

Dad's a real Philadelphia fan, so if you

see him, please tell him.

And god, please tell dad that I miss him

all the time, especially when I have to use

the ladies room with mom.

Sorry for taking up so much of your time.

Thank you, god, and get some sleep.

Ok.

You going to be all right, champ?

Sure.

Well, I'll see you in the morning.

Uncle Isaac?

Mhm?

Is it true what you told me earlier,

that dad is still inside me?

That's what I believe.

Then, could you leave the door open a little for the light?

Dad's kind of afraid of the dark.

[Giggling]

Sure thing.

Goodnight, baby.

[Kiss]

Isaac, it's so hard without Neil.

We miss him so much.

I know.

We all do.

Lydia: He was so vibrant and so alive we

didn't even know he was ill.

He had so much to live for.

I still don't understand.

Why him?

Why now?

It seems like only the good die young.

Goodnight, Lydia.

Goodnight, Isaac.

[Music playing, chatter]

Jake, I want to dance.

So go on, dance.

Come on.

Dance with me.

Boss, it's almost time.

Time for what?

You got a train to catch?

Uh, no.

Me and the weasel got some business to take care of.

Business?

We're in the middle of the ocean for Pete's sake.

What are you booking bets on, Halibut races?

It's a poker game.

Couple of guys are going to have a game in the room.

They're very high-class pigeons, very loaded,

very ripe for the plucking.

And what am I supposed to do while you

two are out plucking pigeons?

Aw, come on, honey, don't bust my chops.

I'm supposed to be on vacation.

[Inaudible] Don't like that.

I'm sure you'll find something to do.

You know, Jake, for once, I think you might be right.

Pardon me, miss, but may I have

the pleasure of this dance?

Charmed, I'm sure.

Ah.

You've got to hand it to her, weasel.

She's sure meeting a lot of people on this ship.

[Music playing]

Oh, I'm sorry.

That's the third time I've stepped on your foot.

Third time this song.

I remember when you and Janet qualen

won first prize at the stocking foot dance.

You were there?

Mm.

I served the punch.

Well, Janet was good.

Yeah.

But you're the best.

[Laughter]

And then there was the lady who was convinced I was

her husband in a previous life.

Doc, with your track record, that is entirely possible.

[Laughter]

Isaac.

Isaac, have you seen Timmy? - No.

Isn't he in his bed? - No.

Before turning in, I went to check on him,

and his bed is empty.

I can't find him anywhere.

I want you to search this ship from stem to stern.

All right.

[Inaudible]

Yeah.

Don't worry.

We'll find him.

Ok.

[Humming] [Giggles] Oh.

Oh, well, cinderella had a wonderful time at the ball.

Oh, good.

So what do we do now, prince charming?

Prince charming thinks it's time for bed.

Oh good.

Then we don't have to waste any time on that dumb glass

slipper routine.

Honey, what are you doing?

Honey, come on. You're looped.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Come on, let's do something we'll be sorry for.

I don't want to be sorry for anything.

Oh, come on.

So I want you to just wait and really think

about what you're doing, ok?

No wonder they made you a prince.

[Kiss]

Isaac, what am I going to do?

There's still no sign of him.

Don't worry, Lydia.

He'll turn up, I'm sure.

What if he climbed up a rail and--

Lydia, he didn't.

Isaac, if anything happens to him, I'll never forgive myself.

Timmy.

Oh, Timmy, thank god you're all right.

Found him in the galley.

He was throwing silverware all over the place

and pulling out every pot and pan he could reach.

It's all right, champ.

We'll take you back to your cabin.

No, don't touch me.

No, no, honey.

Everything is going to be ok.

No, it isn't.

Nothing's gonna be ok.

Nothing.

Are the stars out tonight?

Trillions of them.

Mm, I wish I could see them.

You know, there's a whole beautiful ocean

out there and a sky full of stars that moon

poets would write about.

All I can see is you.

[Sighs] Are you all right?

Um, yes.

Well, did I do something wrong?

You're not Sam washburn.

[Sighs] No.

I'm uh--

would you please go?

How will you--

I'll be fine.

I-- I just--

I just want to stay here alone for a little while.

Millie, I, uh, I'm sorry.

So am I.

Vicki (on speaker): Attention, passengers.

Our delicious breakfast buffet is now being

served on the starlight deck.

Well, what looks good to you?

The girl in the yellow shorts.

Is that all you ever think of?

No.

Sometimes I think of pink shorts.

Hey, sweetheart, you should try some of this lox.

I know it's fresh.

I saw the chef with a fishing pole hanging over the side

with a bagel tied to it.

No thanks.

I really couldn't eat a thing.

You feeling all right?

I'm fine.

I'm just not hungry.

Aw, come on now.

You're still not angry because we played poker last night,

are you, huh?

Because if you are, I'm going to remedy

that situation right away here.

Look.

Feast your eyes on the proceeds of an evening well spent.

And just because you've been such a good sport, here.

I want you to go by yourself something nice.

No thanks, Jake.

I really don't need a thing.

Excuse me.

Where you going?

I thought i'd get some breakfast.

I'm starved.

She turned down money.

She actually turned down money.

Maybe the ocean motion's making her dizzy.

Yeah.

Maybe I should take her on a cruise more often.

[Chuckles]

Am I, uh, welcome?

Suit yourself.

How long have you known I'm not Sam?

A while.

And, uh, what was it that gave me away?

Little things-- maybe the poetry.

Intuition mostly, I think--

the glasses and then Janet qualen.

What about her?

You never won a dance contest with her.

You never dated her.

How do you know I never dated Janet qualen?

Because Janet qualen is my niece.

She's six years old.

I'm not angry with you, Timmy.

I'm just trying to understand why you ran away last night.

[Knocking]

Come in.

Good morning.

What's so good about it?

Mind your manners.

Timmy, look at these pictures ace took.

They turned out really great.

Look at this.

See?

Big deal.

Who cares?

I do.

I don't.

I'm sorry, Isaac.

I just can't get through to him.

I'm at a total loss.

I guess Neil's deal finally caught up to him.

Oh, my poor baby.

Captain stubing (on speaker): Buenos dias,

senores y senoras y senoritas.

Welcome to the highlight of the Mexican riviera

where we are about to drop anchor in the south

of the border port of acapulco.

While you're here, thrill to the spectacle

of perilous cliff-diving or take a siesta

as you bronze yourself on one of the world's

most beautiful beaches.

Or stop into any exclusive shop and spend

every cent your husband has.

Hasta luego.

[Theme music]

You know, there's something about you

that really fascinates me.

Oh, really, what?

Your boyfriend, Jake.

Gee, thanks, you really know how to flatter a girl.

Oh, no offense.

It's just that I've never met a real bookie before.

I mean, how does he operate, out of the back of a candy

store, something like that?

No, that's just in the movies.

He has an office in a high-rise building

just like any other business.

- Mm. - Yeah.

Of course, the sign on the door doesn't

say "Jake diamond, bookie."

Oh, don't suppose it would.

[Chuckles] What exactly does it say?

Mid-state investments.

Ooh, mid-state investments.

Yeah. Classy, isn't it?

Yeah, I'll have to remember that.

Yeah.

You really never met a bookie before?

No, I don't gamble.

[Gasps] He doesn't gamble.

Mm. I would gamble on one thing.

What?

Taking you into acapulco.

Hey, are you married?

- No, of course not. - Engaged?

- No. - You're going with someone.

- Mm-mm. - A girlfriend?

- No. - A boyfriend?

No.

No, nobody.

Why?

There's got to be something wrong with you.

You're too good to be true.

Acapulco, huh?

I guess a few hours wouldn't [inaudible]..

Millie.

You're not hard to find.

Your tobacco gives you away.

You wanted to find me?

Yes.

Well, I thought we'd said goodbye.

That was then.

This is now.

Thanks.

A lot of memories going up in that smoke.

I am sorry.

Oh, it was a happy deception.

For a while, I was back when I was a young girl,

and everything was bright and full of colors.

And anything was possible.

And I perverted your memories.

No.

No, you entered my fantasy.

I always dreamed that I'd meet Sam washburn,

and he'd sweep me off my feet and make love to me.

I don't want to let it go just yet.

You've been a very successful Sam washburn.

Millie, i--

would you be Sam washburn for me for the rest of the trip?

Please.

[Papers rustling]

Timmy.

Timmy.

Hold it, Timmy.

Timmy, now hold it. Hold it.

Hold it.

Wait a second.

Now, if I thought it'd do any good,

I'd give you a whole carton of these.

You want to talk?

[Papers rustling]

Ok, ok, then I'll talk.

When someone loses a person close to them,

it brings out a lot of feelings, feelings

besides being hurt and sad.

Who cares what you say?

Timmy, sometimes those feelings

can be very confusing, especially to a young person

who might not understand.

[Elevator dings]

I don't listen to any of that junk.

Isaac: Yeah, well, you're going to have to listen to it.

Now, it's not unusual for a person to be angry, really

angry at a person who died.

I can be angry if I want to.

And who said I was angry at my dad?

And what do you know?

Timmy, I really think that's what you're going through.

I really think you're angry at your dad for leaving you.

Timmy: You don't know anything.

Timmy, your dad loved you very much.

I know it's hard for you, but he'd

want you to try and understand.

He was a good man.

Yeah, and look what it got him.

[Clanging]

I'm sorry, sir.

Isaac, what you're trying to do is very commendable,

but I think Timmy should have special professional help.

Boss, uh, I might be out of line on this,

but I think you ought to be paying more attention to honey.

Now, what makes you think butting

into my personal affairs is out of line?

All right, all right.

But just think about it for a minute.

She's been acting funny, ain't she?

And did you notice that she hasn't

been nagging and complaining and bugging you every five minutes?

So what?

Anybody can have an off day.

And I'll tell you something else, Jake.

She's been spending an awful lot of time

with that miles guy-- you know, the one with the glasses

and the manners there.

What are you getting at?

I think she's falling for the punk.

Are you nuts?

The guy is nothing, a definite jerk.

He's a jerk who pays attention to her, Jake.

You've been taking her for granted [inaudible]..

Come on.

She turned down money.

I know.

I've got to kill the guy.

He's not your problem, Jake.

Honey is.

I know.

I know.

I don't want to lose the girl, Joey.

She's an ace high pain in the neck, but I love the girl.

[Boat idling]

Oh, Sam, that was the happiest day I could ever remember.

For me too, except for one thing.

I'm not happy this way, as Sam.

I'm in love with you.

You don't have to say that.

I mean it.

I don't want pity disguised as love.

I'm not that sort.

I'm telling you the truth.

I don't want to hear the truth.

I live with the truth every day of my life.

This is a fairytale voyage for me, a fantasy.

So please don't tell me the truth.

All right.

All right.

Vicki (on speaker): We hope your day in acapulco

was one to remember.

Our next and final destination is San Pedro

in the port of Los Angeles.

Enjoy your trip home.

Well, you sure bring out the gab in me?

Ever since acapulco, all I've been doing

is talking, talking talking.

Well, you sure know a lot about Jake's business.

Oh, yeah, sure.

He tells me everything.

Uh, have you ever thought about going to the authorities

with what you know?

Why would I want to do that?

Say, what are you so interested in Jake's business for anyway?

Well, honey, I am going to be perfectly honest with you.

Oh no, should I get nervous?

The fact is I'm becoming very serious about you.

I was thinking about asking you to go away with me.

But I know what kind of a man Jake is,

and I was afraid there might be trouble.

So I thought if you testified against him,

and they put him away, and he couldn't hurt you--

oh, Jake would never hurt me.

But you know, just you worrying about it

shows me what's in your heart.

Oh, and what a heart it is.

Yeah.

Say, what do you got there?

Ah, it's nothing.

What is that?

What is this? - Hey, wait.

Give me that.

Hey, what's going on here?

What are you doing?

Are you taping this?

[Sighs]

You're a cop?

Oh.

[Splash]

[Footsteps running]

I love you, Sam.

This has got to stop.

Not yet.

It's killing me.

I can't keep this up any longer.

This is our last night, the last night of a dream.

Don't wake me up before the dream is over, please, Sam.

Millie, I'm sorry.

Sometimes dreams have to end.

[Knocking]

Ta-da.

Isaac, what a nice surprise.

Timmy, look what Isaac brought.

Hey.

Doesn't it look delicious?

Yes, well.

Ok, so much for the ice cream.

I don't have to be back on duty for an hour.

How about a stroll around on the deck?

Hey, that sounds great to me.

Not me.

Well, maybe I shouldn't go, Isaac.

Look, Lydia, I know he's having a tough time,

but you can't keep giving into his bad behavior.

Timmy, you're going to have to start learning

how to deal with the situation.

Maybe a little ice cream won't hurt.

All right.

Look, champ, we'll be right back, ok?

Yeah, we'll make it a short stroll, baby.

And remember, don't talk to strangers.

Yes, sir.

Where is she?

I mean, where is she?

She'll be here.

Relax, will you?

Relax.

How can I relax?

I don't even know what I'm going to say.

I never proposed to anybody before.

Just tell her how you feel, Jake, you

know, like, she's the only girl you'll ever love,

or this comes only once in a lifetime, things like that.

Just be sincere.

How do you know so much about it?

Have you ever proposed to anybody?

Sure, hundreds of times.

Yeah?

Ok, all right.

I'll try the sincere bit.

How's this?

Hey, kitty, what do you say we tie the knot?

Well, that's sincere enough, Jake.

But I think there's room for a touch more romance in there

somewhere.

I got it.

Try getting down on one knee.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

Go ahead.

Joey the weasel: I don't know.

It feels kind of stupid without a pair of dice in my hands.

Oh, no, you're looking good, Jake.

You're looking good.

You're gonna knock her off her feet.

[Thuds]

If I leave to be 1,000, I will never trust another man again.

In fact, I'm going to do my best to never see another man again.

I'm going to join a convent.

Who needs men anyway, huh?

Not me, brother.

I'm through.

I'm through with all men everywhere for all time

and forever.

And that includes you and you and the rest

of your entire species.

So how about it, you want to get married?

What?

Oh, I get it.

You found out I spilled the beans to the feds.

So now you want to marry me, so I can't testify against you.

What?

What testify? What feds?

What beans?

What are you talking about?

That nice guy, miles metcalfe, the one

you set me up with so I wouldn't bother you,

well he's a federal agent.

And you told him about me?

You'll probably get about 14 years.

[Door slams]

Which is the same stretch I served with you.

Joey the weasel: Boss, we got trouble.

The feds.

Ah, them I can handle.

Just lost my girl.

[Knocking]

Who is it?

George washburn: It's me, Millie.

Open the door.

Why did you come?

I had to.

There's something that you've got to know.

Sam washburn is dead.

Stop it.

Now, just hear me out.

I don't want to hear this.

He was killed in Vietnam.

Oh no.

I'm his brother, George.

His brother?

You're his brother.

We-- we looked alike, but we weren't really like.

Everything came easily to Sam--

dancing, the girls.

The girls he dated stayed in love with him--

even some he never dated.

I know.

I used to want to be just like him.

I even went to the same college.

I always imitated him--

his clothes, his walk.

And his tobacco.

Yes.

And when you first called me Sam, it took me right back.

It was, for a while, the way it was when he was alive.

Millie, I loved my brother.

And for a while, I loved taking his place again.

But I've fallen in love, and suddenly it isn't

any fun being my dead brother.

Oh, hold me.

Oh, George.

Honey.

Oh, what do you want?

What do I want?

Yeah.

What I want to figure out a way

to convince you that I meant it when I asked you to marry me.

It wasn't because you talked to the feds.

I didn't know anything about that.

I was just afraid of losing you.

I guess there's no way you're going to buy that now.

I don't know, Jake.

Maybe there is a way.

Tell me.

Whatever it is, I'll do it.

Well, you know, in all the years we've been together,

you never once told me you loved me.

You know I do.

But you never said it.

All you have to do is say it.

Honey, come on, please.

I mean, you know I have trouble saying those words.

Couldn't I write it down, huh?

Say it, Jake.

If you want me back, say the words.

All right.

Uh, I l--

[growls] All right, I can do this.

I-- [mumbles]

He loves you.

What he said!

Close enough!

All right!

Thank you for the walk, Isaac.

That air felt good.

- Uh-huh. - Let me just check on Timmy.

Ok, give him a kiss for me.

Ok.

He's gone again!

What?

Now, don't worry.

We found him once.

We can find him again.

[Knocking]

Oh, Timmy!

Ms. Thomas, one of my stewards found your son

taking some things that didn't belong to him.

Why, Timmy?

Timmy, I'm giving you one last chance.

I don't understand it.

Up until now, you've been such a good boy.

I'm not good.

I'm never good.

I'm bad.

What are you talking about?

Yeah, taking a few things doesn't make you bad, Timmy.

But it could mean that something is troubling you.

No, it isn't.

I'm bad.

I've got to be bad.

Why do you want to be bad?

Last night I heard you and mom talking.

You said only the good die young.

And I don't want to be good.

I don't want to die young.

Oh, Timmy.

That's only a saying, Timmy.

That's not true.

It's not?

No, it's not.

Honest.

Have you ever heard anyone say that a cat has nine lives?

Sure.

But everyone knows they don't.

When I was your age, I didn't know that.

You believed it?

Not only did I believe it, but I followed our cat around

for weeks trying to figure out where

he lived his other eight lives.

No wonder I like you so much, uncle Isaac.

Mm?

You were a silly kid just like me.

Well, well, well, I understand congratulations

are in order for you and Jake?

Yeah.

Ain't it a kick after 100 years of waiting?

Well, better late than never.

Excuse me.

I don't think so.

- Oh, weasel. - Yeah?

Tell your friend Jake he'll be hearing from me next week.

How do you like that?

He wants to lay down a bet.

Yeah, on an indictment.

Fat chance.

[Chuckles]

Somebody want to give me a hand here?

Quit dawdling, Jake, huh?

We'll be late for the honeymoon.

[Laughs]

That-- that-- that ain't funny.

The wedding's off.

Weasel, you're fired.

Well, it looks as though this has turned out to be a pretty

successful reunion for you two.

Oh, I'm not sure you could really call it a reunion--

maybe just a union.

I'm going to try to make her very happy.

Oh, you've made me happy enough

these past couple of days to last me the rest of my life.

Aw, we hope you come sailing with us again soon.

- We will. - We will.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thanks for sailing with us.

What are you smoking?

It's a new tobacco.

I like it.

It's you.

[Elevator dings]

Captain stubing: I'm glad you enjoyed the cruise.

Come see us again. - Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

Timmy, I've had ace develop another set

of pictures for you.

Right.

I thought you might like to have these.

Thank you, sir.

Ace: You're welcome.

Oh, and thank you, Isaac, for everything.

Well, I'm just glad Timmy knows

what it is to be good again.

[Laughter]

Me too.

Being bad is hard work.

I was running out of ideas.

[Laughter]

[Theme music]