Original subtitles

I love mornings at school.

They're just so peaceful.

[ding]

Aah!

This is 7-grain bread.

I wanted 9-grain.

Plus, why do you

always throw food?

He'll have the oatmeal.

And nothing for me.

[video game voice]

Must destroy Tater!

[gasps]

I love that video game!

"Must Destroy Tater."

I find the Tater character

a little cartoony, but still,

I enjoy destroying him.

[high-pitched scream]

[laserfire, explosions]

And I love the sound he makes

when you destroy him.

[same high-pitched scream

[repeats three times]

[cackles]

♪ Good-bye, summer,

hello, fall ♪

- ♪ We've been trying - to get here ♪

♪ Since we both

were barely two feet tall ♪

♪ Who you calling kid?

Who you calling kid? ♪

♪ Who you calling kid? ♪

- ♪ You can call me - what you want ♪

♪ But I won't hear a word

where I am here ♪

♪ Who you calling kid? ♪

What happened?

I thought you were disassembled

- and thrown in the trash.

- I recycled myself.

- It is important to take - care of this planet

So that it will be a

clean, livable place...

for us robots...

once we take over

and destroy all humans.

Destroy all humans?

I'm human!

Stinks to be you!

- The age of the humans - is over,

And the age of

the robots has begun.

[mouths "over"]

[beeping]

[hydraulics whir]

Hello. My name is

Principal Tater.

I am principal of

"insert school name here."

I've been transferred to

"insert school name here"?

I guess Principal "insert

principal's name here"

finally retired.

OK, everyone, time to hand in

your research papers.

Here's mine.

- I did it on the dangers - of robotics and how,

- Slowly, robots are - replacing humans

In the work force, and one day

may replace us entirely.

- [scoffs] - Someone's been reading

Too much science fiction.

I hope they replace you first!

[Derby]

My paper's on the Internet.

You could have printed it out.

Printed what out?

- I mean, my paper's - on the Internet...

Somewhere.

Choose a well-written one.

I could use a good grade.

Derby, you have to learn

to do the work yourself.

- We can't always - rely on machines.

He's right. That's why

I power everything by nerd.

[gasps]

Fresh grape juice.

[pounding]

Come in.

Mr. Tater, can I help you?

- [robotically] I am here for - the human called Derby.

I must escort him

to the detention center.

- I'm getting detention? - For what?

You are getting detention for

"insert malicious prank here."

Darn it! I thought I got away

- with "insert malicious prank - here."

[scoffing]

"Dangers of Robotics."

Arthur!

How's it going, old buddy?

I knew you'd be back.

You can't keep

a good robot down.

And you, sir...

are a great robot.

Derby, you disgust me...

plus, it won't work.

I already tried kissing

his butt, and all I got

was a burnt lip

and a mouthful of toast.

You will stay here

as I continue to implement

my plan to rid

the world of humans.

"Ha-ha, joke"?

Do I look like I'm ha-ha-joking?

[beep]

[whirring]

Whoa. Who's the

handsome-looking fella?

I was wondering the

same thing about you.

Derby. You're out

of detention already?

Yes. I feel like a new unit.

I mean "man."

- Well, you missed - an engaging science class.

We discussed hydrodynamics

and electrokinetics

- in colloidal - and microfluidic systems.

Sounds fascinating.

- I am sorry I was not there - to participate.

Hey, Slab.

- You are of below-average - intelligence

And above-average girth.

- Don't do that, Derby. - You're provoking him.

- Really? You do not think - it was too subtle

For his limited intellect?

[Slab] That's it!

Nobody says things to me

that I can't understand due

to my limited intellect!

You're going in

the garbage can!

[grunting]

Huh. Guess having

nerds do everything

for me has made me weak.

What's your excuse?

Do not worry. I know where

we can get a stepladder that

- should help you to put - me in that garbage can.

- Follow me to the place - where you will be imprisoned.

- I mean, where I keep - the stepladder.

- [monotone] - Ha-ha, joke.

[laughs loudly]

Good one, Derby.

- I don't say it enough, - but I always appreciate

Your dry wit.

[whir]

[door closes]

Hey!

No one torments Slab,

except his inner voice,

which is overly critical

and just won't

leave him alone!

Arthur has returned and is

systematically replacing

everyone with robots.

They're identical to us

in every way...

except, of course,

their butts are toasters.

[gasps] Wait!

Maybe I'm a robot!

Check!

[screams]

I'm a robot?

No.

Then explain this.

Can't.

Don't want to.

Excuse me. I would like

to purchase this human food

for consumption.

Did you see that?

I've never seen Slab buy lunch.

He always steals it from nerds.

That would be strange...

if I cared.

There's something about Slab

that seems different, odd.

Oh, never mind.

That's him.

Hello, Ivy, sister

to the handsome genius

known as Adam Young.

Don't you "Hello, Ivy, sister

to the handsome genius

known as Adam Young" me!

We kissed, and you never called.

Please accept my sincere apology

for being both physically

and emotionally unavailable.

Shall we go

somewhere private and

"insert innocent-sounding

double entendre here"?

[giggles]

Oh, you're so bad!

Arthur?

Ivy, stay away from him.

He's dangerous.

If you don't believe me,

read this paper I wrote.

[scoffs] You know I don't read.

I love that about you.

[grunts, pants]

Derby?

I didn't think you were serious

when you said you were

going to help the robots.

I wasn't.

I didn't build this for them.

I built it for me.

Hey, baby.

Your eyes are like two spheres

of polymethyl methacrylate,

implanted with miniature

infrared cameras.

And now for the kiss.

[crackling and zapping]

She's perfect!

Just like the real thing.

- Here is a place where - we can go to be alone,

- Where I won't imprison you - with other humans

- And replace you with a robot - version of yourself.

- OK. - [giggles]

Hey! Who are you?

You better not be here

to steal my man.

- Your man? He would - never be interested

In someone as "insert

catty remark here"

as you.

Oh, it's like that?

Hold my earrings!

Hold my battery pack.

[beep, whir]

Two ladies fighting over me.

If I had emotions,

I would find that hot.

There you are! I've been looking

for you, for, like, ever!

And the whole time,

I've been right here

in front of you.

What are you doing? We have

a big problem. Arthur is back!

- Do you mean "Arthur," as in - "automated robotic teenager

- Hippopotamus - umbrella rainbow"?

- Or do you mean Arthur, - as in that kid with red hair

And freckles who always

wears overalls?

O-OK, I admit

that's confusing,

but I meant the first one.

I think he's replacing everyone

- with robot versions - of themselves.

Now that you mention it,

Derby was acting weird.

He didn't fall asleep

when I was talking about

- hydrodynamics - and electrokinetics

In colloidal

and microfluidic systems.

[snoring]

Echo, wake up!

If you're right, then any one

of us could be a robot.

- Even you could have - a toaster butt!

Nope. Definitely still you.

You can check me.

That is definitely not metal.

I don't even think it's solid!

It's like if a jellyfish

married a gummy worm

and they had a liquid child.

[door closes]

- [Arthur] There you are, - the handsome genius

Known as Adam Young.

Arthur!

So you are replacing us

with robots

that look like us. Why?

- When you left me to rot - in a garbage dump, I had

- Plenty of time to think, - and I realized

Two things: humans are

useless beings who

- should be eliminated, - and seagull poop

Is hard to get out of titanium.

But I'm your creator.

You're programmed to protect me.

When I reassembled myself,

I installed new programming,

- also an app that - rates restaurants

In my neighborhood.

Now come with me!

Forget it.

Then you force me to do this.

Play double-clap .wav file.

[two claps]

[monotone] Ha ha. Evil laugh.

- I will now go make - robots of the two of you

And they will be

perfect replicas,

although I will probably make

your arm less jellyfish-like.

I don't know how

to feel about this.

[stunned] What?

- Well, on the one hand, - we're about to be torn apart

By a mob of angry robots,

but on the other hand,

I'm so getting an "A"

on this paper.

OK, this is bad.

What are we going to do?

I don't know. I'm so nervous,

I can't even remember

what we say to call Dang.

[Dang]

You called?

[robot collective]

"Insert startled yelp here."

You two, go!

I will stay here

and fight these steel demons.

[toasters dinging]

Is that all you got?

[dinging]

Toaster pastry?!

Your evil knows no bounds!

[toasters dinging]

There are robots

all over the school!

I picked a terrible time

to cut out carbs.

Arthur's out of control.

Who knew robots

could be so dangerous?

Gee, I don't know!

Perhaps someone who wrote

a well-researched and impeccably

footnoted paper on the subject.

[sighs]

And what does Arthur

have against humans?

He was created by a human,

he looks like a human.

That's because he's based

on a real person...

This magazine model.

You read "Fab Abs" magazine?

You know, just

reading the magazine

doesn't give you fab abs.

If we can get this guy

to come to the school,

maybe Arthur will recognize

the humanity in himself

- and realize humans - aren't that bad.

- It's worth a shot - because we can't

Fend these robots off forever.

- Speaking of which, - I hope things are

Going OK with Dang.

[robotically] You called?

[both scream]

[toasters dinging]

[German accent] My agency got

a call about a modeling job?

Yes, you'll be modeling my line.

My name is Lance von Pance.

I am Bronzon.

"Bronson"?

"Bronzon."

Can we do this?

- I have an appointment - to stare at myself

In the mirror from 3:00 to 4:00.

If I am late, I get very upset.

Work it!

OK, work it

in the other direction.

- [Arthur] - There you are, humans!

Is it 3:00 already?

- [Adam] Arthur, - we wanted you to meet

Bronzon so you could see

that humans aren't so bad.

These are pretzel rods.

I asked for pretzel sticks!

I can't eat this. I won't!

[robot] Hello, everyone.

I am the handsome genius

known as Adam Young.

OK, I'm getting tired of that.

Hello, everyone.

I am Adam Young.

I'm, like, a 6.

That's better.

My name is Echo,

- and I have written a paper - on how

- Wonderful and - harmless robots are.

Please be engrossed by its

irrefutable argument

while I destroy you.

- I must now proceed to - replace all other humans

On Earth with robots.

You're next, pretty boy.

Hmm. Hmm.

Somebody already made

a robot version of you.

That's right!

I did,

as part of my master plan

to have robots replace humans.

Wait a minute.

I'm really confused.

Whose butt should I be kissing?

- So, you see, Arthur, - you should be

- Out there modeling - instead of Bronzon.

Brilliant plan...

the average-looking genius

known as Adam Young.

No way! I work hard

to build my career,

- putting up with - incorrect pretzels and such.

I will not hand it over

to... oh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Ooh, you can make waffles now?

Hook me up!

Blueberry, if you got it.

[ding]

Mmm. This is one of the best

butt waffles I've ever eaten.

[Arthur] I am out, losers.

I am needed on the catwalk.

[imitating catwalk music]

Good luck... steel demon.

A "B"?

After all that we've been

through,

- you're telling me - robots aren't dangerous?

- Without Arthur around - to instruct them,

- All the robots surrendered - and we were able

To disassemble them.

Also, I don't like

the font you used.

Anyway, on to today's lesson.

We were talking about

hydrodynamics

and electrokinetics in colloidal

and microfluidic systems.

Fascinating.

I always enjoy your class.

You are a "insert insincere

compliment here" teacher.

Thank you, Derby.

[calypso music playing]

- I can't believe I got fab abs - just from reading this magazine.