Original subtitles

- SO, SHOULD WE HEAD DOWN - TO THE CAFETERIA FOR LUNCH?

SURE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

TAKING MY ELEVATOR.

YOU INSTALLED AN ELEVATOR

IN YOUR LOCKER?

IT'S A TWO-STOREY SCHOOL.

NO ONE'S THAT LAZY.

[DING]

- AH. THERE YOU ARE, - MR. YOUNG.

- THERE'S SOMEONE - I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET.

HI, I'M JOSEPH.

IS THIS YOUR SON?

I AM SO SORRY

- THAT YOU'RE GONNA - LOSE YOUR HAIR.

HE'S NOT MY SON.

- OBVIOUSLY. FOR HIM - TO HAVE ANY OFFSPRING,

HE'D NEED A WIFE.

- AND, FOR THAT, - HE'D FIRST NEED A DATE.

- IT'S HARD - TO GET A DATE

WHEN WOMEN WON'T

TALK TO YOU.

WELL, IT'S HARD TO TALK

TO A MAN

WHEN THE VERY SIGHT OF HIM

TURNS YOUR STOMACH.

- JOSEPH IS - A NEW STUDENT HERE.

HE'S A GENIUS.

- LIKE THAT GUY - WITH THE WEIRD VOICE

- WHO'S PRETTY MUCH INCAPABLE - OF DOING ANYTHING PHYSICAL.

STEPHEN HAWKING?

NO, YOU.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

- IT'S AN HONOR - TO MEET YOU, MR. YOUNG.

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID,

MY MOTHER USED TO READ ME

- YOUR PAPER ON COSMIC BACKGROUND - MICROWAVE RADIATION

BEFORE BED.

I SHOULD TRY THAT.

USUALLY, I JUST COUNT SHEEP.

PROBLEM IS, THE NEAREST FARM

IS 80 MILES FROM MY HOUSE.

ANYWAY...

- I FIGURED YOU'D BE - A GOOD PERSON

TO SHOW HIM AROUND.

I'D BE HAPPY TO.

REALLY?

YOU KNOW,

IT'S A TWO-STOREY SCHOOL.

- THREE, IF YOU COUNT - THE BASEMENT.

ARE YOU GOING TO THE BASEMENT?

NO.

[CRYING OUT]

[BODY THUDS]

YES.

[♪♪♪]

♪ GOODBYE, SUMMER

HELLO, FALL ♪

- ♪ WE'VE BEEN TRYING - TO GET HERE ♪

♪ SINCE WE BOTH

WERE BARELY TWO FEET TALL ♪

♪ WHO YOU CALLING KID?

WHO YOU CALLING KID? ♪

♪ WHO YOU CALLING KID? ♪

- ♪ YOU CAN CALL ME - WHAT YOU WANT ♪

♪ BUT I WON'T HEAR A WORD ♪

♪ AND I NEVER DID ♪

♪ WHO YOU CALLING KID? ♪♪

GOOD MORNING, CLASS.

- I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU - TO OUR NEWEST STUDENT,

MY YOUNG APPRENTICE, JOSEPH.

HE'S LIKE A TINY

VERSION OF MR. YOUNG.

- BUT MR. YOUNG'S A TINY VERSION - OF MR. YOUNG.

ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE.

TAKE YOUR SEATS.

OKAY. SEE YOU ALL TOMORROW.

- TODAY WE'RE GOING TO LEARN ABOUT - THE HUMAN BRAIN,

- WHICH COMPRISES - FOUR CORTICAL DIVISIONS,

OR "LOBES:"

THE OCCIPITAL, THE TEMPORAL,

THE FRONTAL, AND THE PARIETAL.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

THE PART I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I UNDERSTAND.

- THINK OF THE BRAIN AS A HOUSE - WITH A LIVING ROOM,

- A KITCHEN, A BATHROOM, - AND A GARAGE.

- WELL, I WATCH TV - IN MY LIVING ROOM,

SO THE OCCIPITAL MUST BE

THE VISUAL CENTER OF THE BRAIN.

- THE KITCHEN, - OR TEMPORAL LOBE,

MUST CONTROL MY SENSE OF SMELL.

THE FRONTAL LOBE

- MUST BE FOR REASONING - AND LOGICAL THOUGHT,

BECAUSE THE BATHROOM

IS WHERE I DO MY BEST THINKING.

AND THE PARIETAL LOBE...

THE GARAGE...

MOTOR SKILLS?

EXACTLY!

THAT'S AMAZING.

FOR THE FIRST TIME ALL YEAR,

I FINALLY UNDERSTAND SOMETHING.

- [ECHO]: - THAT WAS AWESOME, JOSEPH!

YOU SHOULD TEACH.

YEAH.

- HAVING A KID FOR A TEACHER - WOULD BE REALLY COOL.

WELL, I SEE WE HAVE

A FEW NEW FACES IN DETENTION,

AS WELL AS THE USUAL

REPEAT OFFENDERS.

DON'T LOOK AT ME.

WELL, YOU ARE HERE A LOT.

OH, I KNOW.

I JUST DON'T WANT YOU

TO LOOK AT ME.

I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY

I'M HERE.

- YOU STOLE A CHAIR - FROM THE SCIENCE LAB!

YOU HAVE NO PROOF!

JUST LIKE YOU HAVE NO PROOF

- I PUT GLUE ON - ONE OF THE CHAIRS IN HERE.

WHICH CHAIR?

WELL, IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER.

YOU TWO ARE LIFERS...

BEYOND REFORM.

HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THAT,

BY LOCKING US UP

WITH OTHER MISCREANTS,

- YOU'RE JUST MAKING IT EASIER - FOR US TO LEARN

NEW CRIMINAL TECHNIQUES,

WHICH LANDS US RIGHT BACK HERE

IN DETENTION?

NO, I HAVE NOT CONSIDERED THAT.

WELL, YOU SHOULD.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.

MAYBE IT'S TIME YOU LEARNED WHAT

IT'S LIKE TO BE IN MY SHOES.

I DON'T THINK THEY'D FIT.

I WEAR A SIZE 13.

AND A SIZE 10.

WELL, LACE 'EM UP, SON.

I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU TWO

HALL MONITORS.

MAYBE A LITTLE SENSE OF

AUTHORITY WILL SET YOU STRAIGHT.

HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THAT

THIS MIGHT BE A HUGE MISTAKE

- THAT WILL END UP BITING YOU - IN THE CHAIR-COVERED BUTT?

NO, I HAVE NOT CONSIDERED THAT.

WELL, YOU SHOULD.

[THUD]

YEAH... IT'LL BE FINE.

- THAT JOSEPH - IS REALLY SMART.

- IT WAS INCREDIBLE - TO BE IN THE PRESENCE

OF SUCH A GENIUS.

WHAT ABOUT ME?

YOU PROBABLY

ENJOYED IT, TOO.

WELL, I'M HONORED

TO BE MENTORING JOSEPH.

I'M SURE I CAN TEACH HIM

A FEW THINGS.

- OH, AND HE CAN - TEACH YOU A FEW THINGS.

- LIKE HOW - TO TALK TO ECHO.

YOUR BRAIN DISTINGUISHES

- BETWEEN UNEXPECTED - EXTERNAL TOUCH

AND YOUR OWN.

THAT'S WHY

YOU CAN'T TICKLE YOURSELF.

BUT YOU CAN

TICKLE OTHER PEOPLE!

- COOCHIE-COOCHIE- - COOCHIE-COO!

THAT SHOULD BE ME!

OKAY.

- COOCHIE-COOCHIE- - COOCHIE-COO!

[GIGGLING]

I MEANT ECHO AND ME!

YOU MAKE SCIENCE

SO EASY TO UNDERSTAND.

- WOULD YOU MIND TUTORING ME - AFTER SCHOOL?

- SURE. SEE YOU - BACK HERE AT 3:30.

GREAT. IT'S A DATE.

"A DATE?"

THIS IS TERRIBLE.

HERE... THIS WILL

CHEER YOU UP...

- COOCHIE-COOCHIE- - COOCHIE-COO!

STOP THAT!

ACTUALLY...

IT DID MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.

[♪♪♪]

[SIREN WAILING]

[MAKING LOUD

[SIREN NOISE]

HELLO, RECRUITS.

WELCOME TO...

HALL MONITOR ACADEMY.

- [MAKING LOUD - SIREN NOISE]

DO YOU MIND?

- I'M TRYING TO TRAIN - THESE NEW HALL MONITORS.

[STOPS]

NOW, GET OUT OF HERE.

[FEET STOMPING]

[IMITATES CAR ALARM CHIRP]

[CAR DOOR SHUTTING]

[CAR ENGINE REVVING]

[DRIVING]

NO. I MEAN ACTUALLY LEAVE.

[FALLS SILENT]

NOW, AS HALL MONITORS,

YOU'RE GOING TO BE DRAGGED

INTO THE DEEPEST, DARKEST,

DEPTHS OF... HALL.

IT'LL BE NO PICNIC!

EXCEPT IN MAY,

WHEN WE HAVE OUR ANNUAL

HALL MONITORS' PICNIC.

SO, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?

- RIDE AROUND - ON ONE OF THOSE DORKMOBILES?

HEY, YOU ROOKIES HAVE TO

EARN THE RIGHT

TO RIDE AROUND

ON ONE OF THESE DORKMOBILES.

NOW, AS HALL MONITORS,

ONE OF YOUR PRIMARY DUTIES

- IS TO PREVENT PEOPLE - FROM RUNNING IN THE HALLS.

IVY, LET'S SEE HOW YOU DO THAT.

[TWEETS]

HEY... YOU'RE CUTE!

[GIGGLES FLIRTATIOUSLY]

WOW!

VERY NICE, IVY.

PLAY TO YOUR STRENGTHS.

- OKAY, SLAB, - LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.

[TWEET]

HEY... YOU'RE CUTE.

[GIGGLES FLIRTATIOUSLY]

OKAY, BUT YOU NEED

TO FIND YOUR OWN APPROACH.

GOT IT.

[BREATHES]

[THUD]

WOW.

- HOW BAD DOES YOUR BREATH - HAVE TO BE

TO KNOCK A GUY OUT COLD?

[BREATHES]

IT WAS RHETORICAL!

[THUD]

[SCOFFS] WIMPS.

IT'S NOT THAT BAD.

[BREATHES]

CAN YOU BELIEVE JOSEPH?

ECHO IS MY GIRL.

DOESN'T HE KNOW THAT?

HOW COULD HE?

I DON'T THINK

ECHO KNOWS IT.

- YOU DON'T JUST WALK - INTO ANOTHER MAN'S SCHOOL

AND START TICKLING.

WHEN YOU FIND A GIRL YOU LIKE,

YOU PINE AFTER HER,

- YOU CONSTRUCT ELABORATE - SCENARIOS IN YOUR MIND

- ABOUT THE TWO OF YOU - SPENDING TIME TOGETHER,

- YOU WORK UP THE NERVE - TO CALL HER,

YOU LOSE YOUR NERVE,

YOU WALLOW IN SELF-PITY,

- THEN YOU WORK UP YOUR NERVE - AGAIN.

- THEN, SOMETIME - IN THE THIRD YEAR,

YOU ASK HER OUT,

BUT, ON THE NIGHT OF THE DATE,

- YOU'RE SO SICK TO YOUR STOMACH, - YOU HAVE TO BAIL.

- SO IT'S BACK TO WALLOWING - IN SELF-PITY FOR ANOTHER YEAR.

NOW, THANKS TO JOSEPH,

A CAREFULLY CONSTRUCTED PLAN

HAS TO BE THROWN OUT THE WINDOW.

WELL, HE'S NOT THE ONLY GENIUS

WHO CAN DESTROY ANOTHER GENIUS'S

CAREFULLY CONSTRUCTED PLAN.

[NASALLY]: WHAT

ARE YOU GONNA DO?

I DON'T KNOW.

- ALL I CAN TELL YOU IS IT WON'T - BE CAREFULLY CONSTRUCTED.

THAT'S MY KIND OF PLAN.

[PHONE ALERT CHIMES]

OOPS...

BETTER GET TO MY TUTORING DATE.

A TRIPWIRE?

[THWACK]

[WHOOSH]

[THUD]

HAHA! GOTCHA!

- IS WHAT I WOULD'VE SAID - TO THE VICTIM OF THIS PRANK,

HAD I REALLY BEEN DOING IT

- AND NOT MERELY DEMONSTRATING IT - SAFELY OVER YOUR HEAD...

WHERE YOU'RE SAFE.

NICE ONE!

- SO THE FIRST TRIPWIRE - WAS JUST A DECOY?

[SPROING]

[WHOOSH]

FOOLED YOU AGAIN.

[LAUGHTER RISING]

HI, ECHO.

ADAM? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

ADAM?

- I'M JOSEPH, - THE LOVABLE 10-YEAR-OLD GENIUS.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

I'M GOING TO GO FIND JOSEPH.

WELL, LOOK NO FURTHER.

I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE.

[LAUGHTER]

THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

- WE HAVE - A TUTORING DATE.

FINE... "JOSEPH."

LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.

- GREAT. I'M GOING TO TEACH YOU - ABOUT THE BRAIN...

AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN

IT'S SO CLEARLY DAMAGED?

OKAY.

THINK OF A DAMAGED BRAIN

AS A HOUSE WITH A LEAKY ROOF.

EXCEPT, UNLIKE A HOUSE,

- WHERE YOU CAN JUST PUT ON - A NEW ROOF,

- MOST SEVERE BRAIN DAMAGE - IS IRREPARABLE.

ALL RIGHT. GOOD LESSON.

"BRAIN DAMAGE BAD."

- A-HA! I AM, - IN FACT, NOT JOSEPH,

BUT ADAM YOUNG,

- WHO IS EVERY BIT AS GOOD - A TEACHER AS JOSEPH IS!

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, MISTER!

FREEZE!

IDENTITY THEFT

IS A SERIOUS CRIME.

CONSIDER YOURSELF BUSTED

BY THE HALL MONITORS'

UNDERCOVER UNIT.

BUT I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING!

RESISTING ARREST, HUH?

[BREATHES]

IS THAT SPEARMINT?

[BREATHES]

DARN IT!

- SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD - THAT BREATH MINT.

THIS MACHINE IS DESIGNED

TO STIMULATE SYNAPTIC RESPONSES

IN THE BRAIN.

- BY INCREASING THE ELECTRIC FLOW - TO A LOCALIZED AREA,

- ONE'S CAPACITY - TO PROCESS KNOWLEDGE

- SHOULD BE - PROPORTIONATELY INCREASED.

[SPEAKING SLOWLY]: ASK JOSEPH.

- I WILL, - WHEN YOU'RE NOT AROUND.

YOU SEEM KIND OF JEALOUS OF HIM.

I WAS, BUT... NOT ANYMORE.

THIS SCHOOL IS BIG ENOUGH

FOR TWO GENIUSES.

OH, YOU MEAN ME AND JOSEPH?

WHAT? PEOPLE REFER TO ME

AS A GENIUS ALL THE TIME.

I'M CONSTANTLY HEARING THINGS

LIKE, "GOOD ONE, GENIUS."

"WAY TO RUIN EVERYTHING,

GENIUS."

AND, "WE'RE BEING SARCASTIC

- WHEN WE CALL YOU A GENIUS, - GENIUS."

- WELL, I'M JUST GOING TO FORGET - ABOUT JOSEPH

AND FOCUS ON MY RESEARCH.

OH. YOU NEED HELP?

AFTER ALL, I AM A GENIUS.

I COULD USE A TEST SUBJECT.

I WAS GOING TO USE A MOUSE,

- BECAUSE ITS MIND IS GENETICALLY - SIMILAR TO A HUMAN'S,

BUT YOUR MIND

IS ALSO GENETICALLY SIMILAR

TO A HUMAN'S.

PLUS, I'M NOT USING IT.

GREAT. PUT THIS ON.

ON YOUR HEAD, GENIUS.

RIGHT, I KNEW THAT.

LET'S START BY

- STIMULATING THE AREA - OF THE BRAIN...

THE CEREBRUM... THAT DOES MATH.

YOU CAN TRY,

- BUT I'M NOT - VERY GOOD AT...

[ZINGING]

IF " F" IS

A DIFFERENTIABLE FUNCTION ON "R"

- AND " X" IS A LOCAL MAXIMUM - OR A LOCAL MINIMUM OF " F,"

- THEN THE DERIVATIVE OF " F" - AT " X"

IS ZERO.

THAT'S CORRECT!

- CAN I KEEP THIS THING? - JUST UNTIL I GRADUATE.

NEXT TEST...

LET'S GO TO THE CEREBELLUM

- AND SEE IF WE CAN'T ENHANCE - YOUR MOVEMENTS.

[CLICK]

HEY, MR. YOUNG.

- MIND IF I BORROW - THIS MODEL OF THE BRAIN

FOR MY TUTORING DATE WITH ECHO?

PLEASE...

DON'T MAKE ME GET ON

MY KNEES AND BEG.

OH, SO YOU HEARD ABOUT THAT?

YEAH, BUT DON'T WORRY.

I HAVE A SHORT MEMORY.

OKAY, I GET IT.

I WAS STUPID AND I'M SORRY.

THE THING IS...

I KIND OF LIKE ECHO.

SO ASK HER OUT.

IT'S NOT THAT EASY.

- I HAVEN'T REALLY SPENT - A LOT OF TIME

AROUND PEOPLE MY OWN AGE,

SO I GUESS SOMETIMES

- I'M A LITTLE AWKWARD - AROUND THEM.

I'M NOT YOUR AGE,

- AND YOU'RE A LITTLE AWKWARD - AROUND ME.

- MR. TATER'S NOT YOUR AGE, - AND...

ANYWAY...

- YOU HAVE FUN - TUTORING ECHO.

I'M GOING TO FOCUS

ON MY RESEARCH.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE HERE?

- THIS BABY STIMULATES - AREAS OF THE BRAIN

- WITH A LOW-LEVEL - ELECTRICAL CHARGE.

LOCALIZED?

YES.

FOR EXAMPLE, I'M CONCENTRATING

ON THE CEREBELLUM,

- WHERE, WITH THE TURN OF A KNOB, - I CAN SUBTLY AFFECT MOVEMENT.

[CRANKS DIAL]

[ELECTRICITY WHIRRING]

HMM. I WONDER

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN

IF YOU STIMULATED

THE WHOLE BRAIN AT ONCE.

- ARE YOU SUGGESTING - THAT DOING SO

COULD POTENTIALLY CREATE

SOME KIND OF SUPER-GENIUS?

- I'M JUST SAYING OUT LOUD - WHAT YOU WERE ALREADY THINKING.

- WHO ARE YOU GOING - TO TEST IT ON?

BECAUSE I'D LIKE TO VOLUNTEER.

YOU?

- YEAH. UNLESS YOU DON'T WANT ME - TO BE A SUPER-GENIUS,

- BUT THAT WOULD MEAN - YOU'RE JEALOUS OF ME.

WHICH I'M TOTALLY NOT.

- DERBY! - GIVE ME THE HELMET.

[♪♪♪]

- THEFT IS A MAJOR PROBLEM - AT FINNEGAN.

A LOT OF SCHOOL PROPERTY

- IS TAKEN - OVER THE COURSE OF A YEAR.

- AS HALL MONITORS, - YOU HAVE THE RIGHT

TO SEARCH A STUDENT'S LOCKER

IF YOU SUSPECT

HE OR SHE IS GUILTY.

- CAN WE SEARCH - IF WE'RE JUST CURIOUS?

NO.

- WHAT IF WE'RE REALLY, - REALLY CURIOUS?

STILL NO.

BUT...

- YOU ALWAYS HAVE PERMISSION - TO SEARCH DERBY'S LOCKER,

BECAUSE HE'S A THIEF.

I RESENT THAT, SIR.

DO YOU DENY IT?

NO... BUT I RESENT IT.

OPEN UP YOUR LOCKER

- SO THAT SLAB AND IVY - CAN SEARCH IT.

[TWEETS]

A-HA!

OUR MASCOT COSTUME!

MRS. GESSER?

I THOUGHT YOU RETIRED YEARS AGO!

I THINK THAT'S THE LAST OF IT.

NICE WORK, TEAM.

NOW, ARREST THIS FELON!

FOR WHAT?

POSSESSION OF STOLEN

SCHOOL PROPERTY.

IT'S NEVER LEFT THE SCHOOL,

SO TECHNICALLY IT'S NOT STOLEN.

HE MAKES A GOOD POINT.

IN FACT, I'VE BEEN STORING

ALL THIS STUFF FOR YOU.

I THINK I'LL START

CHARGING YOU RENT.

RENT?

THE SCHOOL CAN'T

AFFORD TO PAY YOU RENT.

WELL, I SUPPOSE I COULD

KEEP ON STORING IT FOR FREE...

IF YOU PUT

ALL THIS STUFF BACK.

YOU HEARD THE MAN.

GET ALL THIS STUFF PUT AWAY!

ALL RIGHT...

IN YOU GO, LADY.

EVERYONE...

WE ARE HERE

TO WITNESS THE FUTURE.

IS IT A FLYING CAR?

NO.

IS IT A FLYING

DORKMOBILE?

NO. IT DOESN'T FLY.

IS IT A CHICKEN?

WHAT?

- YOU SAID IT DOESN'T FLY. - CHICKENS DON'T FLY.

HE'S RIGHT. THEY DON'T.

- A CHICKEN ISN'T THE FUTURE. - WE HAVE CHICKEN NOW.

WHERE?

I DON'T MEAN WE HAVE IT NOW.

I'M GOING TO TURN THIS YOUNG BOY

INTO A SUPER-GENIUS.

- WELL, HE'S ALREADY THE SMARTEST - PERSON I'VE EVER MET.

QUIET!

[ADAM]: ARE YOU READY?

- I'M READY IF YOU ARE. - I MEAN, I TRUST YOU.

- WHAT KIND OF MONSTER - WOULD HURT A CHILD?

[CLICK]

[ELECTRICITY WHIRRING]

AND DID IT WORK?

- THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY - TO FIND OUT.

JOSEPH, WHY DON'T YOU TELL US

- THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BOSONIC - AND HETEROTIC STRING THEORY?

[SLOWLY]: I LIKE MEATBALLS.

HE HAS SUCH A WAY

OF SIMPLIFYING THINGS.

JOSEPH, ARE YOU OKAY?

TRUMPETS MAKE A FUNNY NOISE.

I HAVE ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT!

- WHAT HAVE YOU DONE - TO JOSEPH?

- YOU'VE MADE HIM - AS DUMB AS DERBY!

AS DUMB AS DERBY?

YOU MONSTER!

- I DON'T KNOW - HOW THIS COULD HAVE HAPPENED.

BUNNIES SMELL LIKE MAGIC.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

TO SUCH A BRIGHT YOUNG MAN?

IT MUST BE JEALOUSY.

IT'S TRUE.

- ADAM TOLD ME - HE WAS JEALOUS OF JOSEPH.

- I GUESS HE'LL HAVE TO - GO BACK TO GRADE SCHOOL.

BUSES ARE FAT CARS!

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

[♪♪♪]

I DON'T UNDERSTAND

WHY THIS DIDN'T WORK.

I DO.

BY STIMULATING

MY ENTIRE BRAIN AT ONCE,

- THE VOLTAGE - WAS SO DILUTED,

IT HAD NO EFFECT!

- IT'S LIKE TRYING - TO FEED AN ENTIRE VILLAGE

WITH A GRAIN OF RICE.

WHAT? THAT WASN'T DUMB.

SHOULDN'T YOU BE SAYING THINGS

LIKE "TENNIS BALLS ARE FUZZY?"

NO, BECAUSE I'M NOT AN IDIOT.

THEN WHY'D YOU

FAKE BEING DUMB?

- NOW THEY'RE GOING - TO SEND YOU BACK

TO ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

EXACTLY!

NOW I'VE SEEN WHAT

- SKIPPING ALL THOSE GRADES - CAN DO TO A GUY.

I DON'T WANT TO END UP

FRIENDLESS,

SOCIALLY AWKWARD,

UNABLE TO TALK TO GIRLS.

I AM NOT FRIENDLESS!

I'VE GOT DERBY...

OKAY, I'LL GIVE YOU THAT ONE.

ANYWAY...

I'D RATHER JUST PRETEND

TO BE AVERAGE.

- SO I WON'T GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL - UNTIL I'M 17.

AT LEAST I'LL KISS A GIRL

BEFORE I'M 40.

YOU EVIL LITTLE...

GENIUS?

[INDULGINGLY]:

THERE YOU ARE, JOSEPH.

ARE YOU READY TO GO ON

THE BIG YELLOW FAT CAR

TO YOUR NEW SCHOOL?

BRRRM-BRRRM!

- UNDERPANTS - GO ON THE INSIDE.

YES, THEY DO.

YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT ME, JOSEPH.

- IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER, - I WOULDN'T CHANGE ONE THING.

NOT ONE MINUTE OF IT.

AND DO YOU KNOW WHY?

BECAUSE IT LED ME HERE.

- TO THIS JOB I LOVE - AND THESE PEOPLE I...

I LIKE MEATBALLS...

[♪♪♪]

SLAB, IVY, I JUST WANTED TO SAY

HOW PROUD I AM OF YOU BOTH.

LOOK HOW FAR YOU'VE COME!

- THIS HALLWAY HAS NEVER BEEN - SO ORDERLY,

AND YOU...

HAVE BECOME SOLID CITIZENS.

THANK YOU, SIR.

- BUT I'M AFRAID WE'RE GOING - TO HAVE TO TICKET YOU.

TICKET ME?

- YOUR SCOOTER IS PARKED - IN FRONT OF A DOOR.

THAT'S A CLEAR VIOLATION.

NO, IT'S NOT PARKED.

- I JUST STOPPED - TO COMPLIMENT YOU.

ARE YOU ARGUING

WITH A HALL MONITOR?

AND LOOK AT THIS!

- YOUR TAIL-LIGHT - IS BROKEN!

IT'S NOT BRO...

[SHATTERING]

THIS IS A VERY

SERIOUS OFFENCE.

- YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO - COME WITH US.

- I'M NOT GOIN' ANYWHERE - WITH ANYONE!

RESISTING ARREST?

- YOU'RE ONLY MAKING IT - HARDER ON YOURSELF, FELLA.

NO. WAIT!

- YOU CAN'T THROW ME - IN THE DETENTION ROOM.

- HALF THE PEOPLE IN THAT PLACE - ARE THERE BECAUSE OF ME.

THEY'LL EAT ME ALIVE.

QUIT YOUR WHINING

AND GET IN THERE!

[HE YELPS]

- [YELPING, - BLOWS LANDING]

- [TATER]: - OH, MOTHER...

- [TATER, CRYING OUT]: - NO-O-O-O-O-O!

MAYBE WE'VE GONE TOO FAR.

COME ON. YOU DON'T THINK

HE'S REALLY BEING BEATEN UP?

- THAT'S JUST THE SOUND EFFECTS - GUY DOING HIS THING.

- I MEAN, LISTEN - TO THOSE SCREAMS...

THEY ARE SO FAKE.

[TATER]: HELP ME!

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL

THAT'S GOOD IN THE WORLD!

[SOBBING PITIFULLY]

OFFICERS.

UH-OH.

TO THE DORKMOBILE!

[BANG]

[WHIMPERING]

[TATER SCREAMS]