Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

[BUBBLING RAPIDLY]

WOW...

THAT IS A BIG CUP

OF HOT CHOCOLATE.

THIS IS LIQUID NITROGEN.

I'M USING IT

- TO MAKE THE WORLD'S COLDEST - CHERRY SLUSHIES.

AWESOME!

[THUMPS CANISTER DOWN]

FIRST OF ALL,

- THAT WAS FOR MY FRIEND, - SYDNEY FINKELBAUM,

WHO'S COMING TO VISIT.

- SECOND OF ALL, - IT'S STILL TOO COLD TO DRINK.

- [THROUGH CLENCHED TEETH]: - SHOULDN'T THAT

HAVE BEEN "FIRST OF ALL?"

[CRACKING]

SYDNEY AND I WERE

BEST BUDS AT M.I.T.

ONE TIME, WE WERE UP ALL NIGHT

- ARGUING OVER WHETHER - ELECTRONS AND QUARKS

AREN'T ZERO-DIMENSIONAL OBJECTS,

BUT RATHER ONE-DIMENSIONAL

OSCILLATING LINES!

YEAH... WE WERE PRETTY WILD.

THIS "SYDNEY" SOUNDS LIKE

A HUGE NERD.

ACTUALLY,

I PREFER THE TERM "GEEK."

SYDNEY!

THAT'S SYDNEY FINKELBAUM?

- IT'S SO GREAT - TO SEE YOU, ADAM.

- ARE YOU SURE YOU'VE GOT - ENOUGH ROOM FOR ME

AT YOUR PLACE?

I HAVE A HUGE GUEST ROOM

WITH SATELLITE TV.

OH, I'M SORRY,

I WAS JUST THINKING OUT LOUD...

WITH A KING-SIZE FEATHER BED

AND FREE LOCAL PHONE CALLS!

SYDNEY...

THIS IS DERBY.

HI. WOULD YOU LIKE A SLUSHIE?

I MADE THEM MYSELF!

[CRASHING]

[TOGETHER]: WHOA!

[WHIMPERS]

DON'T MIND HIM,

HE'S GOT BRAIN-FREEZE.

FROM THE SLUSHIE?

NO, IT'S GENETIC.

SO... YOU TEACH

HERE, HUH?

COOL.

- THANKS. WHY DON'T I - SHOW YOU AROUND

- THE REST - OF THE SCHOOL?

GOOD IDEA.

- WE CAN START WITH - THE GIRLS' LOCKER ROOM.

- WHO KNOWS, MAYBE A TICKLE FIGHT - WILL BREAK OUT.

WAIT!

HELP! MY FEET

ARE FROZEN TO THE FLOOR.

- [SYDNEY]: - THE GYM HAS A TRAMPOLINE?

I LOVE TRAMPOLINES!

OOF! OOF!

WHO NEEDS FEET?

[BANG]

[♪♪♪]

♪ GOODBYE, SUMMER

HELLO, FALL ♪

- ♪ WE'VE BEEN TRYING - TO GET HERE ♪

♪ SINCE WE BOTH

WERE BARELY TWO FEET TALL ♪

♪ WHO YOU CALLING "KID"? ♪

♪ WHO YOU CALLING "KID"? ♪

♪ WHO YOU CALLING "KID"? ♪

♪ BUT I WON'T HEAR A WORD ♪

♪ WHO YOU CALLING "KID"? ♪

NO, NOT THE KARAMEL KA-POW,

I HAD THAT FOR BREAKFAST.

SLAB, IF YOU NEED

SOME CHANGE,

I CAN LEND IT TO YOU.

- [CHUCKLES DRYLY]: - OH, I'VE GOT MONEY.

MR. SLABINSKY...

THIS IS THE LAST TIME

YOU'LL BE DOING THAT.

- OH, HE'S FINE. HE'S GOT, LIKE, - THREE MINUTES OF AIR LEFT.

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT HIM.

HI, DERBY.

I'M NOT TALKING ABHI, MR. TATER.

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE FACT

- THAT WE'RE REMOVING - ALL SNACK MACHINES

FROM THE SCHOOL.

OH... AWESOME!

- SO THE CANDY - WILL JUST BE FREE

- AND PILED UP - ON THE FLOOR?

NO. THE CANDY GOES, TOO.

WAIT!

- NO MACHINES - AND NO CANDY...

- IS GOING TO MAKE IT - A LOT HARDER

TO GET CANDY.

THAT'S THE POINT.

IT'S PART OF

MY "HEALTHY FOOD" INITIATIVE.

WELL, I THINK GETTING RID

OF THE SNACK MACHINES

IS A GREAT IDEA.

[DERBY]: SO DO I!

[CLATTERING]

- THE PROPRIETOR - OF THIS CONFECTION SHOP

STOLE MY DOUBLOON!

[BANGING AND THUMPING]

ALL RIGHT...

ALL RIGHT, I'VE GOT ONE.

OKAY?

- WHAT DO YOU CALL - A NEUTRON

- THAT'S BEEN AROUND - FOR A LONG TIME?

I DON'T KNOW.

AN "OLD-TRON!"

[BOTH CRACKING UP]

- IT'S FUNNY, - 'CAUSE A NEUTRON

- WOULDN'T BE AROUND - FOR A LONG TIME!

RIGHT, BECAUSE

IT UNDERGOES BETA-DECAY,

- FORMING A PROTON, - AN ELECTRON, AND...

[TOGETHER, STOKED]:

AN ELECTRON-ANTINEUTRINO!

[LAUGHTER]

- I GUESS - I'M DONE WITH THAT.

HEY, ADAM.

- I HOPE I'M NOT - INTERRUPTING ANYTHING...

LIKE SYDNEY SKIPPING DOWNSTAIRS

AFTER A SHOWER

- WEARING NOTHING - BUT A SHORTY ROBE?

HEY, DERBY.

- I'M FEELING A BIT - OF A PIZZA-COMA COMING ON.

I THINK

I'M GOING TO GO TO BED.

TONIGHT WAS FUN.

YEAH.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

YOU ACTED LIKE AN IDIOT.

AND, YOU KNOW,

YOU DO IT ALL THE TIME.

- I'M SURPRISED - YOU DIDN'T RECOGNIZE IT.

THE PAT ON THE HEAD?

THE ROMANTIC ITALIAN DINNER?

THE "FOLLOW ME UPSTAIRS

AND WATCH ME

TAKE A BUBBLE BATH" SMILE?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

ARE YOU BLIND?

- SYDNEY IS OBVIOUSLY - HOT FOR YOU!

- AND I'M A BIG ENOUGH PERSON - TO LET YOU HAVE HER...

UNTIL YOU'RE DISFIGURED

IN A TRAGIC LAB EXPLOSION

AT A VERY YOUNG AGE...

THEN I GET HER.

SYDNEY'S MY FRIEND.

NOTHING MORE.

[BIN LID BANGS]

AWW!

YOU MADE THE GUEST BED UP

WITH STEPHEN HAWKING SHEETS!

YOU'RE SO SWEET.

GOOD NIGHT.

- WELL, IN THE WORDS - OF STEPHEN HAWKING...

[IN A COMPUTER VOICE]:

THAT... CHICK...

IS SO... IN-TO YOU.

[ERASER SWISHING]

LET'S SEE SOME HANDS...

WHO HAS HEARD

OF THE WAR OF 1812?

- YOU TOLD US ABOUT IT - LAST MONTH.

AND YESTERDAY.

AND 10 MINUTES AGO!

FINE.

HAVE I TAUGHT YOU

ABOUT GANDHI?

- NO.

- AH-HAH!

MAHATMA GANDHI

WAS INDIA'S MOST FAMOUS

POLITICAL AND SPIRITUAL LEADER.

BUT, BEFORE THAT,

I USED TO BABY-SIT

THE LITTLE SCAMP.

HE ALWAYS THREW

HIS TOY TRUCK AT ME.

"NON-VIOLENCE," MY BUTT.

NUN VIOLENCE?

WHY WOULD TWO NUNS FIGHT?

SHE SAID "NON-VIOLENCE."

GANDHI USED PEACEFUL ACTS

OF CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE

TO RIGHT INJUSTICES.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID

I DIDN'T TEACH THIS BEFORE?

YEAH, I LIED.

LOOK, WHO CARES ABOUT

SOME WIMPY DEAD GUY?

- TATER'S TRYING TO TAKE AWAY - OUR CANDY MACHINE

AND THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO

TO RIGHT THIS INJUSTICE!

NUNS?

HOW ARE NUNS GONNA HELP US?

[LAUGHTER]

WELL, I HAVE TO SAY,

- I APPLAUD YOUR COMMITMENT - TO NON-VIOLENCE.

THANKS.

- WELL, SINCE I'M CHAINED UP - LIKE THIS,

- WOULD YOU MIND, YOU KNOW, - ROUNDING UP SOME NERDS

- AND GIVING 'EM WEDGIES - FOR ME?

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET

THIS MACHINE OUT OF HERE.

WHAT'S THIS?

BELIEVE IT OR NOT,

A NON-VIOLENT PROTEST.

OH, SLAB? NON-VIOLENT?

[CHUCKLES]

[HEAVY SCRAPING]

YEAH! GOT A PROBLEM

WITH THAT, TATER?

ACK! NO, SIR!

[ERASER SWISHING]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I WAS EATING

A CHICKEN SALAD SANDWICH.

WELL, THAT'S CANNIBALISM...

BECAUSE YOU'RE A CHICKEN,

AFRAID TO ASK SYDNEY OUT.

SYDNEY'S NOT INTERESTED IN ME,

- AND EVEN IF SHE WERE, - IT WOULD NEVER WORK.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE...

- HEY, ECHO, - WHATCHA GOT FOR LUNCH?

- THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM - AT MY TABLE. I LOVE YOUR SHOES.

HEY, ADAM.

THAT'S WHY.

- YOU SEE HOW ECHO AND I FEEL - ABOUT EACH OTHER.

YEAH. YOU WORSHIP

THE GROUND SHE WALKS ON,

AND SHE JUST... WALKS ON.

UNLIKE SYDNEY,

- WHO'S PRACTICALLY - FALLING ALL OVER YOU.

SHE IS NOT FALLING ALL OVER ME.

HEY! ADAM!

GUESS WHAT! I...

OOH! OOF!

YOU KNOW, IT'D BE NICE

- IF A GORGEOUS BABE FELL ON ME - EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.

[BIRD CHIRPS, DOO-DOO SPLATS]

- HOW WOULD YOU - LIKE TO EXPERIENCE

A MASSIVE FLAMING BALL OF GAS?

- IF SHE ASKS YOU - TO PULL HER FINGER,

DON'T DO IT.

I SCORED US TWO TICKETS

TO THE INTERGALACTIC

STARSATIONAL LASER SHOW

AT THE PLANETARIUM!

SWEET MOTHER OF GALILEO!

SO, CAN YOU GO?

CAN I GO?

WAS DR. MYRON METZENBAUM

A GENIUS?

- HE INVENTED - "METZENBAUM SCISSORS,"

- WHICH REVOLUTIONIZED - SURGERY

BY FACILITATING THE CUTTING

OF DELICATE TISSUE!

- YOU'RE NOT EVEN - GOING TO MENTION

HIS GROUNDBREAKING WORK

RESETTING PEDIATRIC

NASAL CARTILAGE?

- OR HIS ABILITY - TO FART THE ALPHABET?

OH, WAIT... MAYBE IT'S

A DIFFERENT MYRON METZENBAUM.

DID YOUR GUY GO

TO CAMP CHUNKY LAKE?

- OKAY, SO, - THE PLANETARIUM,

IT'S A DATE!

A "DATE?"

SEE? I TOLD YOU.

A DATE.

SYDNEY IS INTO ME.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT, DERBY.

YOU WERE ACTUALLY RIGHT

ABOUT SOMETHING.

- JUST REMEMBER - THIS DAY.

I KNOW I WILL.

[ON MEGAPHONE]: THIS IS

YOUR LAST CHANCE, SLAB.

- UNCHAIN YOURSELF - FROM THAT MACHINE

OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES.

[MEGAPHONE SQUEALS]

I CAN HEAR YOU

WITHOUT THE MEGAPHONE.

THE SCHOOL PAID

FOR A MEGAPHONE,

AND I'M GONNA USE IT!

I'M SORRY FOR DOING THAT,

- BUT I'M TRYING TO BE - SUPPORTIVE

- OF SLAB'S - NON-VIOLENT PROTEST.

HEY! THAT ONE'S GETTING AWAY!

- I'M ON IT! - GO, GO, GO!

[SWISHING]

OH, I HOPE I DON'T

MESS THINGS UP TONIGHT.

RELAX! I CAN HELP.

MY VIRTUAL ALTER-EGO

"ANTOINE BOLOGNESE"

IS QUITE THE LADIES' MAN.

- MAYBE I CAN CALL - ONE OF MY FRIENDS

- FROM THE M.I.T. SCIENCE CLUB - FOR ADVICE.

NAH... HE'S NEVER BEEN

OUT WITH A WOMAN.

OR HIM... OR HIM.

GET READY...

A DATE WITH ANTOINE BOLOGNESE

CAN GET SAUCY.

HEY, BABY.

- IS IT, UH... - JUST MY IMAGINATION,

OR HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT?

- THEN, ONCE - YOU'VE SWEET-TALKED HER,

YOU MAKE YOUR MOVE.

STRETCH,

- LEAN, AND... - WRAP THE PRESENT.

OH, BABY!

[BONES CLATTERING]

WELL, GIRLS USUALLY SAY

THEY'D KISS YOU

OVER THEIR DEAD BODY.

THAT'S NO WAY

TO TREAT A WRAPPER!

AND I SHOULD KNOW...

BECAUSE I AM A RAPPER!

BOOKA-BUKKA-BOOKA-BOOKA-

BOOKA-BOO!

-FO' SHIZZLE!

LOOK. "TOUPEE SHAKUR."

YO! WHAT UP, HOMEBOY?

I NEED ME SOME EATS

- 'FORE I ROLL OVER - TO THE 'HOOD

AND GET PROPS FROM MY PEEPS.

WORD UPWARD.

- WELL, YOU'D BETTER - BUY SOMETHING QUICK.

- THAT BUTTHEAD TATER'S TRYING - TO GET RID OF THIS MACHINE.

THAT GUY'S SO LAME.

LOOK, TO BE FAIR,

- HE HAS A VERY - DIFFICULT JOB...

- JUGGLING THE NEEDS OF - PARENTS, STUDENTS, TEACHERS.

IF YOU ASK ME,

HIS ADMINISTRATIVE

SKILLS ARE...

OFF THE HIZZOOK.

WELL, LET'S AGREE

TO DISAGREE.

ANYWAY, I'M GOING TO

SCORE MY BAD SELF

- A BAG OF - CHOCOLATE CHEWIES.

LET ME JUST GET SOME

SCRATCH OUT OF MY...

TRIZZOUSERS.

[CLINK]

[GRUNTING]

OH! STUPID BOLT-CUTTERS.

[CONTINUES GRUNTING]

- DO YOU WANT ME - TO GIVE YOU A HAND?

WELL, THANK YOU, DAWG.

[CLEARING THROAT]

[SNAP]

[SLAB LAUGHS]

NOT COOL, G!

HEY! WHAT'S CRACK-A-LACKIN',

SHORTY?

I REALLY WISH MY PARENTS

COULD AFFORD PRIVATE SCHOOL.

[♪♪♪]

DERBY, I GET IT!

- YOU'VE BEEN SHOWING ME - YOUR MOVES FOR AN HOUR.

FINE.

LET'S SEE

WHAT YOU'VE GOT.

PRETEND THE SKELETON

IS SYDNEY.

HEY, SYD...

YOU LOOK GREAT TONIGHT.

THE WHITE OF YOUR CLAVICLE

REALLY BRINGS OUT

YOUR CHEEKBONES.

REMEMBER...

- LOOK AT HER EYE HOLES, - NOT HER RIBS.

GIRLS HATE THAT.

NOW... STRETCH.

LEAN...

AND WRAP THE PRESENT!

[BONES RATTLING]

[CLATTERING]

[LIPS SMACKING]

THIS IS WHY I HAD TO GET RID

OF THE LAST SCIENCE TEACHER.

MR. TATER! HEH...

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

WELL, IF YOU'RE FINISHED WITH

YOUR CHILDISH ANTICS...

I NEED YOU

TO BUILD ME A STINK-BOMB.

A STINK-BOMB?

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE...

YOU WANT TO START

- WITH A VOLATILE - ORGANIC COMPOUND.

- I'D GO WITH EITHER ETHANETHIOL, - IF YOU WANT A DEER URINE SMELL,

OR BUTANETHIOL,

- IF YOU WANT SOMETHING - A LITTLE MORE SKUNKY.

WHAT ABOUT

A ROTTEN-EGG SMELL?

AMMONIUM SULFIDE?

THAT'S SO CLICHE!

HAVE A LITTLE PRIDE, MAN.

HOW DO I LOOK?

GREAT,

BUT ONE MORE THING...

[SPRITZING]

[COUGHING VIOLENTLY]

WHAT KIND OF COLOGNE IS THAT?

- COLOGNE? - IT'S NON-STICK COOKING SPRAY.

WHAT? WOMEN LOVE

THE SMELL OF BUTTER!

HEY, ADAM.

YOU READY TO GO?

YEAH... I GUESS SO.

YOU TWO KIDS, HAVE FUN.

I WON'T WAIT UP.

SO, YOU'RE JUST PLANNING

ON STAYING IN MY HOUSE?

I'M BROASTING A CHICKEN.

YOU SMELL GOOD.

[DOOR OPENS]

HAH! FORGOT MY PURSE.

I'D FORGET MY HEAD

- IF IT WEREN'T ATTACHED - TO MY NECK

- BY A SERIES OF CERVICAL - AND THORACIC VERTEBRAE.

[MUTTERS]: ADAM'S SO IN!

[CELLPHONE RINGING]

HELLO?

HI, HONEY!

IT'S MY BOYFRIEND.

"BOYFRIEND?"

THE COVER

OF FAB ABS?

THAT'S AMAZING!

HE'S A... A TORSO MODEL.

HEH... THAT'S GREAT.

NOT MUCH.

JUST HANGING OUT

WITH MY FRIEND,

THAT GENIUS KID

I TOLD YOU ABOUT.

- YEAH. YEAH, YEAH. - NO, OF COURSE.

- I'LL LET YOU - GET BACK TO YOUR CRUNCHES.

OKAY. I LOVE YOU!

[DOOR OPENS, THEN SHUTS]

SYDNEY HAS A BOYFRIEND?

I'VE GOT TO WARN ADAM!

[OVEN DINGS]

- BUT IF YOU DON'T EAT - BROASTED CHICKEN RIGHT AWAY,

IT DRIES OUT.

[♪♪♪]

ALL RIGHT...

OH, THESE

ARE GREAT SEATS!

YEAH, I PAID A SCALPER

TO GET US RIGHT UNDER

THE TRIFID NEBULA.

- WOW! THAT'S - MY FAVORITE

- OF ALL - THE MESSIER NEBULAE!

YOU REMEMBERED.

OF COURSE.

OKAY.

[ANNOUNCER]: WELCOME...

TO THE INTERGALACTIC

STARSATIONAL LASER SHOW.

TONIGHT, YOU WILL EMBARK

ON A JOURNEY

TO A PLACE

MOST MEN ONLY DREAM OF.

[CHUCKLES]: YOU KNOW,

WOMEN DREAM OF IT, TOO.

[♪♪♪]

[ANNOUNCER]:

PREPARE TO GET CLOSER

TO A HEAVENLY BODY

THAN YOU'VE EVER BEEN

BEFORE.

HEY. ARE YOU OKAY?

YOU'RE SWEATING.

YEAH! YEAH, YEAH...

HOT IN HERE...

- WITH THAT SUN - GOING SUPERNOVA.

HERE, LET ME, UH...

GET YOU A TISSUE.

[♪♪♪]

I'M GIVING YOU

ONE LAST CHANCE.

UNCHAIN YOURSELF NOW,

- OR I'LL BE FORCED TO TAKE - DRASTIC MEASURES.

BRING IT!

- WHERE DID YOU - GET A MEGAPHONE?

NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

FINE!

YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE...

[LAUGHS DEVIOUSLY]

[THWACK]

[HISSING]

[TATER WHIMPERS]

WHAT IS THIS?

AMMONIUM SULFIDE...

THE STENCH OF ROTTEN EGGS!

- IT'S A CLASSIC - FOR A REASON.

[SNIFFS]

[SIGHS WITH APPROVAL]

GOOD FIRST EFFORT...

- BUT, NEXT TIME, YOU MIGHT WANT - TO TRY SOMETHING LIKE THIS...

OH, MY...

IT'S LIKE A SKUNK

MARRIED A DUNG BEETLE

AND THEIR BABY GOT A JOB

CLEANING PORT-A-POTTIES

AT A CHILI FESTIVAL!

[SHOW MUSIC FILTERING OUT]

"SHOW IN PROGRESS"?

AHH! WHY DID I STOP

TO MAKE RADISH ROSES?

BECAUSE A MEAL SHOULD ALSO BE

A FEAST FOR THE EYES.

- [ANNOUNCER]: - WITNESS HALLEY'S COMET

ON HER ELLIPTICAL ORBIT

AROUND THE SUN.

DON'T MISS YOUR CHANCE.

SOME OPPORTUNITIES

ONLY COME

ONCE IN A LIFETIME.

POPPYCOCK!

I'VE SEEN IT SIX TIMES!

ADAM! DON'T DO IT!

BEWARE...

THE DWARF PLANET

IS ON A COLLISION COURSE

WITH THE HOT SUN...

THE VERY HOT SUN...

THE REALLY DISTRACTINGLY

HOT SUN

WITH... PRETTY HAIR!

THE HOT SUN HAS A BOYFRIEND!

WHO ALSO SOUNDS HOT.

- [BLURTS]: THE DWARF PLANET - SHOULD NOT WRAP THE PRESENT!

WHAT?

UH-OH!

[HYDRAULICS WHIRRING]

AHH! AH!

[ALARM CHIMING]

OOPS.

[LASERS ZINGING]

ADAM?

WHY DO I SMELL BURNT BUTTER?

ADAM!

THERE YOU ARE!

WHOA!

THE LASER DID THAT?

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE,

I NO LONGER

HAVE TO WEAR CONTACTS.

- HEY, I LOOKED FOR YOU - AT YOUR HOUSE LAST NIGHT,

BUT YOU WEREN'T THERE.

YEAH, I SLEPT

IN THE GARAGE.

- I WAS KIND OF - EMBARRASSED.

WHY?

- YOU'VE BURNT STUFF - INTO YOUR FACE PLENTY OF TIMES.

THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN.

THE TRUTH IS,

- WHEN YOU ASKED ME - TO THE LASER SHOW,

I KIND OF THOUGHT

MAYBE YOU WANTED TO BE

MORE THAN JUST FRIENDS.

YOU DID?

YEAH...

IT WAS STUPID.

PLUS, DERBY TOLD ME

YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND.

I DO...

BUT I DON'T THINK IT WAS STUPID,

I THINK IT WAS SWEET.

REALLY?

YEAH! YOU'RE A GREAT GUY,

AND YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND...

BUT YOU KNOW I'M TOO OLD

FOR YOU, RIGHT?

YEAH, I KNOW...

BUT DERBY SAID...

WHOA! DERBY?

YOU'RE TAKING ADVICE ON WOMEN

FROM THAT GUY?

SO, UH... WHAT DO YOU

WANT TO DO TODAY?

NO! YOU PICK.

NO! YOU PICK.

STOP IT!

POINT TAKEN.

THE TRUTH IS,

THERE'S ACTUALLY SOMEBODY

ELSE I'M INTERESTED IN.

- HEY, ECHO! - YOU'RE HERE EARLY!

DID YOU TAKE THE BUS?

I LIKE YOUR SHIRT.

HEY, ADAM.

- BUT I DON'T THINK - SHE THINKS OF ME THAT WAY.

- [STARTS LAUGHING, - EXAGGERATED]

OH! ADAM!

[LOUDLY]:

THANK YOU AGAIN FOR LAST NIGHT.

YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO MAKE

A WOMAN FEEL SPECIAL.

IT WAS ONE OF THE GREATEST

NIGHTS OF MY LIFE.

- [WHISPERS]: I THOUGHT YOU SAID - I WAS TOO YOUNG FOR YOU!

I'M KIND OF GETTING

MIXED SIGNALS HERE.

PLAY ALONG, GENIUS.

- NOW, PROMISE ME - WE CAN GET TOGETHER

NEXT TIME I'M IN TOWN.

- YEAH! THAT'D BE - AWESOME! I MEAN...

[THICKLY]:

I'LL THINK ABOUT IT, BABE.

WELL, WHEN YOU DO...

REMEMBER THIS...

HEY, ADAM, I WAS

WONDERING IF

- YOU'RE FREE - AFTER SCHOOL...

HUH?

YOU KNOW, TO HELP ME

WITH SCIENCE... STUFF.

HUH?

HELLO?

DON'T FEEL BAD.

I'M GETTING

THE SILENT TREATMENT, TOO.

[♪♪♪]

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

[MEGAPHONES START SQUEALING]

[SHOUTS]: WAKE UP!

- I'M UP, MOMMY!

- I'M UP, MOMMY!

I MEAN, UH...

I'M UP... ECHO.

I DON'T LIVE WITH MOMMY.

YOU GUYS ACTUALLY SPENT

THE NIGHT HERE?

THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

- I BET YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER - WHAT YOU'RE ARGUING ABOUT.

- I WANT TO KEEP - THE CANDY MACHINE!

I WANT HEALTHIER FOOD

IN THE SCHOOL.

OKAY, BUT CAN'T WE FIND

SOME KIND OF COMPROMISE?

NEVER!

IMPOSSIBLE!

WELL, WHY DON'T WE FILL IT

- WITH HALF HEALTHY FOOD - AND HALF CANDY?

- DEAL. - WORKS FOR ME.

SEE? KIDS LIKE HAVING A CHOICE.

YEAH. I'VE GOT TO SAY,

I'M DIGGING THIS FRUIT BALL.

IT'S CALLED AN "APPLE."

[CRUNCHING]

EVEN MR. TATER

SEEMS HAPPY.

NO! NOT THE PARSNIP CHIPS!

THE KARAMEL KA-POW!

OW! OH... OH... UGH! OW!

[♪♪♪]