Original subtitles

♪♪

(THUNDER CRASHING)

(POLICE SIRENS WAILING)

♪ Sometimes some crimes ♪

♪ Go slippin' through the cracks ♪

♪ But these two gumshoes ♪

♪ Are pickin' up the slack ♪

♪ There's no case too big, no case too small ♪

♪ When you need help, just call ♪

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale's ♪

♪ Rescue Rangers ♪

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪

♪ When there's danger ♪

♪ No, no, it never fails ♪

♪ 'Cause once they're involved ♪

♪ Somehow whatever's wrong gets solved ♪

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪

♪ Rescue Rangers ♪

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪

♪ When there's danger ♪

♪ No, no, it never fails ♪

♪ They'll take the clues ♪

♪ And find the wheres and whys and whos ♪

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪

♪ Rescue Rangers ♪

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪

♪ When there's danger ♪

♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪

ASTRONOMER 1: Just as you predicted, Dr. Hibbleman,

the alien meteor swarm

is passing through our solar system

and out the other side.

Ja, but how can we be sure it will miss Earth completely?

According to the Minkoff equation...

Phooey on the Minkoff equation!

Mein calculations show that the odds

against a meteor hitting the Earth

are... are astronomical.

It will never happen.

And even if a teeny-tiny meteor does hit Earth,

what could possibly be the harm?

SEYMOUR: Ow!

(HUMMING)

Hmm, here's a fat one. In you go.

(HUMMING)

Whoops!

Wow!

(DALE SNIFFING)

Hey, something's burning.

(SCREAMING)

(SIGHING IN RELIEF)

Hey, what's this?

Wowie, a nightlight.

I wonder where this could've come from.

(SCREAMING) Hey, what's going on?

(BELL RINGING)

(GASPING)

(GASPING)

(SCREAMS)

Help! That man has my purse!

(GRUNTING)

Stop the van!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

I don't know what that is but it's gonna make a great story.

Wowie-zowie! This rock must be magic.

This darling little chipmunk saved my purse.

MAN: Yeah, he's a real hero.

Look, he's made out of rubber.

Wait! Come back!

I need some close-ups!

(DALE EXCLAIMING)

MAN ON TV: This amazing event happened less than half an hour ago.

The action was captured

by our super-duper action-eyewitness mini-cam crew.

Hey, guys, looky here.

(SHUSHING) Quiet, Dale. This is important.

Now, lookit, I'm a cowboy.

A would-be purse snatcher has been apprehended

by an incredible stretching chipmunk.

Huh? Hey, that's me!

(ALL SHUSHING)

The chipmunk seemed to exhibit powers and abilities

far beyond those of mortal men or other small rodents.

Yeah?

Could this mercurial mammal, this rambunctious rodent,

this changeable chipmunk be, in fact, a real superhero?

Wowzers! Did you hear that? I'm a...

What a bunch of hooey!

It must be some kind of trick photography.

- It is not! - Oh, and how would you know?

Because I...

Oh, I've seen weirder things than that in a cafeteria line.

- But... - Remember, Monty,

the world is full of unexplained events.

-(SCREAMS) - There could be a super-chipmunk

out there somewhere.

That's what I've been trying to tell you. I'm the...

Gee, Gadget, if there is a superhero,

maybe we should get him to join the Rescue Rangers.

Bonzer idea, Chip. Let's go find him.

- But... - Right. Rescue Rangers, away!

But...

Well, if they want a superhero, I'll give them a superhero.

But first, I gotta do some heavy-duty professional research.

There, 147 comic books.

Now I know everything about being a superhero.

Look out, world, here comes, uh, Super-munk!

Uh, Expando-Dale! No.

The Amazing Bouncerine!

No, I need a name that will strike fear into the hearts of criminals.

Rubber Bando!

(SCREAMING)

SEYMOUR: You wouldn't believe it, Harvey.

This rock falls right out of the sky,

smashes my roof and bonks me on the noggin.

You're my lawyer. Who can I sue?

No, go right to the top.

- (PHONE RINGING) - Oops, gotta go, Harv.

Another sucker's calling.

Seymour Travel Agency.

See more with Seymour.

Seymour speaking.

(MAN ON PHONE CHATTERING ANGRILY)

Hey, I only said you'd fly to Rio.

I never promised the plane would actually land there.

(CHUCKLING)

They're lucky I didn't charge extra for the parachutes.

Ah, I'm too good for this two-bit travel racket, girls.

I'm meant for the big time.

What's the matter? Didn't you like the Bermuda Triangle?

Get out of here before I... What the...

(POLICE SIRENS WAILING)

Oh, boy! A bank robbery!

Rubber Bando to the rescue!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(DALE SCREAMING)

(BOTH EXCLAIMING)

What's that?

Man, don't you watch the news? He's that superhero.

You just ruined a perfectly good bank heist.

Yeah, eat lead, chipmunk!

BOTH: We give up!

Hey, thanks, little buddy. You're a real hero.

SEYMOUR: See, girls? These tourist attractions are worth a fortune.

And if this little lady was missing,

I bet New York would pay a bundle to get her back.

And I'm just the guy to take her.

Girls, I think we just hit the big time.

Don't worry, fair city.

Rubber Bando is here to protect you.

Uh-oh. That sounds like trouble.

Down, down and away!

The blaze is too big. We need more help.

Maybe not. Look!

(ALL CHEERING)

Gosh, being a superhero is nothing like being a Ranger.

It's better.

Uh, betcha they even put my face on a T-shirt.

Time for Rubber Bando to change back to his secret identity.

Golly, the streets sure are quiet

now that the city has its own superhero.

Look! There's the rubber wonder now.

(GRUNTING) This always seems easier in the comic books.

CHIP: Maybe we can get him to join the Rescue Rangers.

What are they doing here? They'll learn my secret identity.

I gotta hide.

Golly, where's Rubber Bando?

CHIP: He was here just a second ago.

(SQUEAKING) He's over here!

(CLEARING THROAT)

Hello? Are you in there, Mr. Superhero?

DALE: Nope, nobody here.

Try the gumball machine down the block.

Hmm. He seems kind of shy.

Hi, we were wondering if you would like to join us.

We're the Rescue Rangers,

a small but efficient battalion of do-gooders

devoted to helping those in trouble.

Would you like to see our news clippings?

Go away!

Golly, he seems kind of rude, too.

(SQUEAKING) I'll get him!

(DALE GROANING)

CHIP: It's Dale!

What are you doing in there? What? Dale?

CHIP: You're Rubber Bando?

Uh, looking for spare change?

Come on out, pally!

Why didn't you tell us you were a superhero?

Uh, superhero? I'm no superhero.

Oh? Then how do you explain the fancy underwear?

Uh, going to a costume party.

Golly, Dale, being a superhero is nothing to be ashamed of.

Is it?

DALE: And I can blow up like a balloon.

Whoa! Stop it, Dale. I can't steer.

And get wings like a birdie.

Hey, who turned out the lights?

And bullets bounce right off me.

I bet he can even pat himself on the back.

Oh, sure, I can do that easy.

But you wanna know what the best part about this is?

Not really.

It's the neat costume I get to wear.

Hey, now that you guys know my secret identity,

you can all be my sidekicks.

Every superhero needs sidekicks, you know, for comic relief.

(EXCLAIMS) Hey, what'd you do that for?

Oh, just a little comic relief.

You're just jealous 'cause you aren't the idol of millions.

Oh, brother.

Well, actually, he'd be a superhero, too,

if he wore this meteorite of yours.

A meteorite?

You mean that thing fell from space?

Yep. And it looks like it broke off a much bigger piece.

Anyone who gets close enough to its radiation

would have the same powers as Dale.

See?

Well, stretching doesn't make you a superhero.

You gotta be courageous and pure of heart. And that's me.

(DOGS BARKING)

And don't come back till yous can give a decent haircut!

All right, Rangers, looks like a crime for us.

(SCOFFS) You call that a crime?

I'm used to taking on the real thing.

Well, that is the real thing to a Rescue Ranger.

Every crime is important.

(SIGHING) Well, if you insist.

(CRASHING)

POODLE: We're tired of being made to look silly.

Real dogs don't put up with perfumey shampoos, right, Alphonse?

Don't call me Alphonse. I hate it.

I want a real dog's name, like Butch or Spike or something.

Hey, who let out the hamsters?

Who you calling a hamster, pipsqueak?

Who you calling a pipsqueak, hamster?

Now, calm down. We're the Rescue Rangers,

and you guys are gonna have to clean this stuff up.

(DOGS LAUGHING)

Hey, Alph...

(CLEARS THROAT) Uh, Spike, the gerbil wants us to clean this up.

(LAUGHING) Ain't that rich, huh? Ain't it? Ain't it, huh, Spike?

Let's see how bossy they are when they're behind bars.

(CHUCKLING) Looks like just the kind of canine crunchies

that real dogs deserve.

(DOGS LAUGHING)

ALPHONSE: Hey! Get me out of here!

Silence, evildoers, justice will prevail.

(DOGS GROANING)

Wow! He took care of all three of them at once.

Now we'll see if their bark is worse than their bounce.

(CRASHING)

(CRASHING)

(GASPS) It's that chipmunk superhero.

Rubber Bando to you, evildoer.

Now, c-clean up this mess, or do I have to get tough?

- Uh, no, sir. - Uh-uh. No, sir.

- We'll get right to it. - Clean it? Clean it, you say?

- Yeah. -(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY) You're the boss.

Ta-da! Rubber Bando at your service.

Hey, pally, you didn't give us a chance to join the punch-up!

Sort of takes the fun out of adventurin'.

Sorry, Monterey, but it's the job of us superheroes

to look out for the little guys.

Little guys? Why, I'll...

No, Chip, let me talk to him.

Dale, you don't really expect us to be your sidekicks, do you?

Gee, you know, you're right, Gadget.

I don't need anybody. I'm a superhero.

Maybe Dale's right.

He got the job done without us and nobody got hurt.

Maybe the Rescue Rangers are just the little guys.

Well, the first thing I'm gonna do with the ransom money

is buy some new shoes,

but first I need something to ransom.

Yeah, this'll look very pretty in my collection.

(RUMBLING)

KIDS: Wow!

The statue! What's happening?

It's the rubber guy we saw on TV!

Wow!

(KISSING)

Boy, oh, boy, don't I look good?

I betcha it won't be long before I get my own TV show.

(SARCASTICALLY) We can hardly wait.

Gosh, your own TV show!

That would be something special.

You bet! Hey, what's this?

MAN ON TV: A special news bulletin.

We have exclusive pictures of the famous Statue of Liberty,

or rather of the spot where the great statue used to be.

The fabulous landmark has been stolen.

Now, there's a real case.

New York authorities have no clue to...

Wait a moment. This just in.

The landmark thief has struck around the world.

France has lost the Eiffel Tower.

England is missing Big Ben.

San Francisco no longer has its Golden Gate,

and even the Sphinx in Egypt has gone bye-bye.

International authorities are looking for the one man...

Uh, animal who might be able to help.

We need the Rubber Rodent.

Rubber Rodent?

What kind of a name is that for a superhero?

Oh, well, gotta go, guys. Duty calls.

Rubber Bando to the rescue!

Up, up and away!

(CRASHING)

Having a superhero around makes being a Rescue Ranger seem kind of silly.

Well, Rubber Dubber Dale can't be everywhere.

There will still be cases for us.

MAN ON TV: This is terrible.

We have just received a videotape

of the Statue of Liberty being stolen.

This videotape was taken by a tourist, Cranston Ludmeyer,

who visited the monument earlier today.

It appears that our superhero has become a super-thief.

(ALL GASPING) The Rubber Rodent has gone rogue!

I wonder how superheroes are supposed to find super-crooks?

Hey, look, it's the Rubber Rodent!

Run away! Run!

MAN: Run! WOMAN: Get out of my way!

(PEOPLE SCREAMING) What's going on?

Why don't they like me?

KIRBY: All right, you measly monument grabber,

take it slow and easy.

What? That wasn't me.

It's all a mistake!

He's charging!

Give me that thing.

Oops.

He means business.

We better call in the flamethrowers.

Where's that flamethrower?

No, wait. I'm too young to fry.

One charbroiled chipmunk coming up.

Bye.

You guys gotta help me!

Us? But we're only your sidekicks.

Some guy's stealing monuments, and the cops think it's me,

and they're gonna crisp me and everything!

You don't say.

Chip, you gotta do something.

But we're just the little guys. What can we do?

You're the Rescue Rangers. You gotta rescue me.

Oh, so now the bigshot superhero needs our protection, huh?

I thought you could do everythin' on your own.

You're not part of our team, remember?

Oh, please, please, please, take me back.

I wanna be a Rescue Ranger again.

Well, okay.

Thanks, Chipperoo.

Now, how am I gonna get out of this? I didn't do anything.

There must be some other rubber guy.

But, Dale, how many other super-meteorites could there be?

Actually, Chip, there might be hundreds,

- maybe even thousands. - Huh?

The original meteorite could have split into any number of fragments.

Then some bad guy has one, too.

We gotta catch him fast

before my fans kill me.

- Dale. - Oops.

Did I say, "my fans"?

I meant the Rescue Rangers' fans.

(SNIFFLING)

(CRYING) I'll probably never get my own TV show now.

(SQUEAKING)

What you got there, Zipper?

A travel brochure?

This is no time to be plannin' a vacation, mate.

I'll take that. Every little clue could help at this point.

With this test, I'll be able to tell

what this brochure is made out of.

- Well? - It's made out of paper.

That's it?

Well, that and the fact that it came from Seymour's Travel Agency

near the corner of Lankershim and Cahuenga.

Wow, that's some test, Gadget, love.

Well, actually, the address is stamped

right on the bottom of the brochure.

MONTEREY: It looks like we got the right place, all right.

(GASPING) Look, the monuments, he shrunk all of them.

Why don't you try stretching your brain for a change?

Chip's right, Dale.

Those are just models.

(GASPING)

He's making models of monuments!

What's wrong with that?

This is strange. Red sand.

(SLURPING)

Blimey! It reminds me of the time I was campin'

with some pioneer prairie dogs in Arizona.

Arizona? That's it!

I know where the missing monuments are.

GADGET: Golly, Monument Valley!

CHIP: Where else would a travel agent hide monuments?

Chip, you found them!

DALE: And there's the crook.

Okay, now, remember the plan.

Monty, you find a big rock.

Gadget, you handle the plane. I'll take care of the rope.

Well, what do I do, Chip? Huh? Huh? How about me, huh?

You, Mr. Rubber Bando, are going to keep him busy.

How do I do that?

Brilliantly.

(SCREAMING)

Hello, New York?

I've got something here you might be interested in

so I suggest you get out your checkbook.

What?

Oh, it's the Rubber Rodent.

(IN CHILDISH VOICE) Did the great big superhero come to play with Seymour?

(SCREAMING)

I could do this all day.

(INHALING DEEPLY)

"I shot a chipmunk in the air"

"and where he fell, I do not care."

(SCREAMING)

Here, Gadget!

GADGET: Got it.

And now for a little demolition derby.

(GASPS)

Two can play that game.

(GRUNTING)

GADGET: Okay, Monty, it's all yours!

Here, Zipper, lad, give me a hand.

(PANTING)

Monty! Go!

(GRUNTING)

Let's see how flexible you are without this.

Now I'll be twice as bouncy as ever.

Now nothing in the world can stop me.

(WHISTLES)

(GRUNTING)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(GROANING)

We did it! Oh, boy!

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

How'd I do with my part of the plan?

Great, Dale.

(BEEPING)

That transmitter should guide the authorities here in no time at all.

Sorry your meteorite got busted, Dale.

That's okay.

I kind of let that super-power stuff go to my head.

Besides, I think the Rescue Rangers

are pretty super just the way they are.