Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY.

AH, BUT A SAD ONE.

IT WAS JUST SUCH A DAY AS THIS 40 YEARS AGO...

40 YEARS. IT'S A LONG TIME.

ANYHOW, WE WERE HAPPIER THEN, MUCH HAPPIER.

WE WERE STANDING HERE ON THIS VERY SPOT,

EDITH AND I.

WE'D BE STANDING HERE STILL IF SHE WASN'T SO STUBBORN.

AAH! AAH!

AAH! AAH!

AAH!

SERVES YOU RIGHT, OLD MAN.

THERE YOU GO.

OH!

I WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OLD GUY.

HERE HE IS.

NEED ANY HELP?

WELL, I AIN'T DIVING FOR PENNIES.

WE GOT THE OLD GUY.

OH.

TURN HIM OVER.

HERE.

WORK HIS ARMS AND LEGS.

COME ON, POP, SNAP OUT OF IT.

HIS CHIN'S CUT.

I CLUNKED HIM. I HAD TO.

POOR OLD DUCK. I KNEW HE'D TRY IT.

TRY WHAT?

SUICIDE. PROBABLY DOWN AND OUT.

OH, YOU'RE NUTS. NOBODY YELLS "HELP" AS AN EXIT LINE.

THEY DO WHEN THEY LOSE THEIR NERVE.

HE'S COMING OUT OF IT. STEP ASIDE, FELLAS.

OK, POP. OPEN THOSE ROLY BOLY EYES.

WHERE'S ME HAT?

THAT'S GRATITUDE.

NOW HE WANTS HIS HAT.

IT'S PRACTICALLY NEW.

HOW DO YOU FEEL?

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU.

I'M A MAN THAT'S ALLERGIC TO WATER.

NOW DON'T BOTHER. DON'T BOTHER.

SO YOU SAVED ME LIFE.

OH, IT'S NOTHING.

OH, ISN'T IT, THOUGH?

ON SECOND THOUGHT, I AGREE WITH YOU.

POP, YOU'VE GOT A LOT TO LIVE FOR YET.

HAVE I, NOW?

WHAT ARE YOU STANDING THERE GAPING AT?

BE OFF WITH YOU!

IF YOU'RE BROKE, MAYBE I CAN HELP YOU OUT.

THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU. HOW?

BY GETTING YOU A JOB.

WHAT KIND OF A JOB?

HE'S KIND OF FUSSY, AIN'T HE?

I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU.

YOU WERE SAYING, YOUNG LADY?

IF YOU COME AND SEE ME, MAYBE WE CAN DOPE SOMETHING OUT.

I GOT TO HURRY NOW. I'M LATE FOR WORK ALREADY.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

JUDY. JUDY PEABODY.

WHERE CAN I FIND YOU?

I WORK AT THE STORK CLUB.

STORK CLUB. WHAT'S THAT-- A FOUNDLING HOME?

THERE ARE A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL BABIES THERE.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, POP.

I WILL. THANKS.

[SPLASH]

WANT A LIFT?

LIFT?

IN MY CAR.

NO, THANKS. I'VE GOT A CAR OF ME OWN.

[AH-CHOO]

YOU'RE SNEEZING, SIR.

YOU DON'T SAY?

[AH-CHOO]

YOU'RE SNEEZING, SIR.

YOU KNOW, I FIGURED THAT OUT FOR MESELF.

YOU'RE ALL WET, SIR.

I DIDN'T THINK IT SHOWED.

AND WHATEVER HAPPENED TO YOUR CHIN?

WHY? DID I LOSE IT?

IT'S BLEEDING.

A GIRL TIPPED ME.

SHE WAS TRYING TO PROTECT HERSELF.

I SEE, SIR.

NO, YOU DON'T.

I WAS DROWNING.

HOW AWFUL!

YOU'D BETTER TAKE OFF THOSE WET CLOTHES, SIR.

I'LL TELEPHONE DR. MARSTON IMMEDIATELY.

GIVE ME YOUR WAISTCOAT, SIR.

YOU'RE ALL RIGHT-- SOUND AS A DOLLAR.

SOUND AS A DOLLAR?

NOW, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

YOU'D BETTER STAY IN BED TODAY, J.B.

I'LL LOOK IN ON YOU IN THE MORNING.

DON'T BOTHER.

EVERY TIME YOU LOOK IN ON ME,

IT COSTS ME 10 BUCKS.

[CHUCKLING] GOOD-BYE, J.B.

WILL THERE BE ANYTHING ELSE, SIR?

DID YOU CALL CURTIS?

HE'S ON HIS WAY OVER HERE, SIR.

GOOD. SIT DOWN, FISKE.

I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR?

SIT DOWN. SIT DOWN, MAN!

I WANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.

FISKE, DID YOU EVER DROWN?

WHY, NO, SIR.

I MEAN ALMOST.

WELL, I JUST DID.

AS I WAS GOING DOWN FOR THE THIRD TIME,

ME WHOLE LIFE FLASHED BEFORE ME,

JUST LIKE A MOVIE.

HOW WAS IT, SIR?

IT STANK.

I UNDERSTAND, SIR.

OH, YOU DO, HUH?

WELL.

FISKE, I WANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING AS MAN TO MAN.

IF I HAD DROWNED,

WOULD YOU HAVE MISSED ME?

YES, SIR, I WOULD.

YOU'RE LYING.

NO ONE WOULD MISS ME,

NOT EVEN ME WIFE.

I'M SURE MRS. BATES WOULD BE INCONSOLABLE, SIR.

NAH. SHE WOULDN'T SHED A TEAR.

WELL, MAYBE ONE OR TWO JUST TO BE POLITE.

I'M CERTAIN MRS. BATES LOVES YOU VERY MUCH

AND ALWAYS WILL, SIR.

THEN WHY DID SHE UP AND LEAVE ME?

YOU TOLD HER TO.

THAT'S NO EXCUSE.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANYBODY BUT ME LAWYER.

VERY WELL, SIR.

COME IN, MR. CURTIS.

HELLO, FISKE.

HIYA, J.B. GOT HERE AS SOON AS I COULD.

REMIND ME TO GIVE YOU A MEDAL.

SCOTCH AND SODA, PLEASE.

WHY CAN'T YOU DRINK BOURBON?

SCOTCH COSTS MONEY.

YOU'VE GOT ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY ALL THE SCOTCH IN TOWN.

SCOTCH AND SODA.

BRING ME ONE, TOO.

VERY WELL, SIR.

MAY AS WELL TRY IT BEFORE IT'S ALL GONE.

WELL, J.B., WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

TOM, I WANT TO DO SOMETHING FOR A YOUNG LADY--

SOMETHING IN A FINANCIAL WAY.

FINANCIAL. BLOND OR BRUNETTE?

BLOND. HAIR OF SPUN GOLD.

HOW OLD IS SHE?

21 OR 22, I'D SAY.

AT YOUR AGE, I'D SAY--

YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU'D SAY, BUT DON'T SAY IT.

I FELL IN THE OCEAN, AND SHE SAVED ME LIFE.

MM-HMM. SO NOW YOU'RE FEELING GENEROUS, HUH?

VERY. I WANT TO MAKE HER LIFE BEAUTIFUL.

YOU CAN COUNT ME OUT.

COUNT YOU OUT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

REMEMBER, I'VE SEEN YOUR BURSTS OF BENEVOLENCE BEFORE.

BUT THIS ONE IS DIFFERENT.

SO WAS GOGGINS. YOU WERE SORRY FOR HIM.

ORDERED ME TO PAY HIM $50 A WEEK FOR LIFE.

THEN YOU FELT YOU'D ROBBED HIM OF HIS INCENTIVE TO WORK

AND STOPPED HIS ALLOWANCE.

I WAS RIGHT.

YOU WERE RIGHT, AND I WAS HOOKED.

I'VE BEEN PAYING HIM OUT OF MY OWN POCKET EVER SINCE.

IF I TAKE GOGGINS BACK, WILL YOU DO WHAT I ASK?

UH-UH. I DON'T WANT TO WIND UP SUPPORTING ANY BLONDE.

SUPPOSING I GIVE YOU A SIGNED PAPER

SAYING I CAN'T STOP YOU.

HOW WOULD THAT DO?

WELL, IF YOU CAN'T STOP ME, THAT'S OK.

AH. GOOD MAN.

ANYTHING ELSE, SIR?

YEAH. LOCK UP THE SCOTCH.

UH, JUST HOW HAPPY DO YOU WANT TO MAKE THIS GIRL?

COMPLETELY HAPPY.

IT WON'T COST MUCH.

I'M SURE HER WANTS ARE SMALL.

HOW DO YOU FIGURE THAT OUT?

BY THE BATHING SUIT SHE WAS WEARING.

LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE IT TO MY JUDGMENT?

I LEARNED ABOUT MAKING GIRLS HAPPY THE HARD WAY.

WHAT'S HER NAME?

JUDY PEABODY.

WHERE DOES SHE LIVE?

I DON'T KNOW, BUT SHE WORKS AT THE STORK CLUB.

THE STORK CLUB.

YOU KNOW THE PLACE?

VERY WELL. IF YOU'D LIVED ANY KIND OF LIFE AT ALL,

YOU'D KNOW ABOUT IT, TOO.

I KNOW, I KNOW.

BUT THIS GIRL JUDY, SHE STILL HAS HER LIFE BEFORE HER.

AT LEAST I'LL HAVE THE JOY

OF MAKING HER FUTURE A BRIGHT ONE.

I THINK YOU'RE ON THE LEVEL THIS TIME.

OF COURSE I AM.

THERE'S JUST ONE THING.

SHE'S NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES,

TO KNOW IT COMES FROM ME.

SHE THINKS SHE SAVED A POOR MAN.

TO JUDY.

TO JUDY, WHO WORKS AT THE STORK CLUB

AND WHOSE WANTS ARE SMALL.

I WONDER.

HIYA, BILL.

HEY, KID, YOU'RE LATE AGAIN.

GO THROUGH THE KITCHEN SO BILLINGSLEY WON'T GET WISE.

I GOT A BETTER WAY.

SO YOU FINALLY GOT HERE.

WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE TONIGHT?

SINCE WHEN DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO THE HELP?

OH, HELLO, MR. BILLINGSLEY.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE HERE.

YES, I HAPPEN TO BE ONE OF THE PEOPLE

I HAVEN'T BARRED FROM THE PLACE.

HA HA HA!

COULD I HAVE A WORD WITH YOU?

OH, CERTAINLY. I'M ALL EARS.

COME WITH ME, PLEASE.

WHERE DO YOU GO TO COLLECT UNEMPLOYMENT INSURANCE?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

HELLO, SHERMAN.

GOOD EVENING, DAVE.

BOSS, WOULD YOU STEP INTO THE PANTRY?

ONE OF THE WAITERS, ROCCO, WAS CAUGHT

WALKING OUT WITH A HAM.

GIVE HIM BACK THE HAM.

HERE. YOU MIGHT WANT TO MAKE SOME SANDWICHES.

NOW YOU CAN LEAVE AND KEEP GOING.

MISS DOROTHY LAMOUR AND PARTY ARE AT TABLE 3.

SEND HER AND THE OTHER LADY A BOTTLE OF PERFUME EACH, WITH MY COMPLIMENTS.

AND NO CHECK.

YES, SIR.

SHE USED TO SING WITH THE BAND HERE.

CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY SHE LEFT ME.

SHE'S A STAR IN THE MOVIES NOW!

YES, I HEARD THAT.

WE JUST RECEIVED A RESERVATION

FOR LIEUTENANT AND MRS. ROBERT TAYLOR.

OH, THAT WOULD BE RUBY STEVENS.

I FORGET WHAT SHE CHANGED HER NAME TO.

YOU MUST MEAN BARBARA STANWYCK.

OH, YES, THAT'S IT.

A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE FOR RUBY AND BOB, AND NO CHECK.

YES, SIR.

TELL ME, MISS PEABODY,

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE STORK CLUB?

OH, IT'S SWELL.

THAT WAS A NICE TOUR WE HAD JUST NOW.

I OPERATE THIS CLUB ALONG MY OWN ORIGINAL IDEA.

YES, SIR, PARTICULARLY WHEN YOU SAY

"NO CHECK."

YOU SEE, THE STORK CLUB IS THE MECCA

FOR CELEBRITIES FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD.

THEY COME HERE TO EAT, SEE, AND BE SEEN.

AS PART OF OUR AUDIENCE, THEY ATTRACT AN AUDIENCE.

GET IT?

OH. NOW I DO.

I WANT THE RIGHT PEOPLE HERE--

IN THE CLUB AND ON MY STAFF.

AND ONE THING I DEMAND OF MY STAFF IS PUNCTUALITY,

A FACT YOU CONTINUE TO IGNORE.

MR. BILLINGSLEY, I'M SORRY. IT'S LIKE THIS--

I'M NOT INTERESTED IN EXCUSES.

YOU ALWAYS HAVE EXCELLENT ONES.

BUT THE THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO ME--

THEY'RE JUST FANTASTIC. THIS AFTERNOON--

NEVER MIND. YOU UNDERSTAND, DON'T YOU?

I THINK I DO.

SURE YOU DO. YOU'RE SMART.

THAT'S WHY I HIRED YOU.

YEAH?

A GIRL LIKE YOU IS AN ASSET TO THE STORK CLUB.

HONEST?

WHY SHOULD I LIE TO YOU?

COULD I RUN IT BY MYSELF?

NO.

I NEED PLENTY OF HELP, GOOD HELP,

PEOPLE WHO THINK OF ME ONCE IN A WHILE, LIKE YOU.

I'VE HAD MY EYE ON YOU FOR A LONG TIME, JUDY.

YOU DON'T WANT TO BE A HATCHECK GIRL ALL YOUR LIFE, DO YOU?

OH, CERTAINLY NOT.

THEN USE YOUR HEAD. BE ON TIME.

I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU AROUND.

GO ALONG NOW.

AND I'M NOT FIRED FOR BEING LATE?

NO, BUT DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN.

OH, GEE, THANKS. IT WON'T.

I WANT YOU, ABOVE ALL, TO SET A GOOD EXAMPLE

FOR THE REST OF THE GIRLS.

OK, BOSS.

DID HE TIE THE CAN TO YOU?

YOU DON'T HEAR IT RATTLING, DO YOU?

SWELL!

GOOD EVENING, SIR.

GOOD EVENING.

HEY, IT'S CANTEEN NIGHT AGAIN TONIGHT.

THE BOSS IS FURNISHING THE FOOD.

WANT TO GO?

SURE. DO YOU KNOW IF HE'S GOING?

I DON'T KNOW, BUT I BET HE DOES.

GEE, I WISH I COULD GET ON

SO HE COULD HEAR ME SING.

GOOD EVENING, SIR.

GOOD EVENING.

YOU KNOW, THAT BILLINGSLEY

IS THE MOST GENEROUS GUY I EVER KNEW.

HE WAS WONDERFUL TO ME.

YEAH?

YEAH, BUT...I HATE TO SAY THIS.

I THINK HE'S A LITTLE BIT SCREWY.

SCREWY? WHY?

HE THINKS THAT BARBARA STANWYCK

IS A GIRL NAMED RUBY STEVENS.

CRACKING UP.

DEFINITELY.

[BAND PLAYING LIVELY SONG]

SAY, THIS AIN'T BAD.

NO, BUT I'LL BET IT LOOKS THAT WAY.

AW, DON'T THE MUSIC GET YOU?

IT'S HAD ME. MY BOYFRIEND'S THE BANDLEADER.

YEAH? WHAT DOES HE PLAY?

HE DOESN'T. HE'S A MARINE IN THE PACIFIC.

I GET YOU.

[MUSIC STOPS]

I WAS ALL SET TO SING WITH THIS BAND,

BUT I GUESS THAT'S OFF FOR THE DURATION.

BY THE WAY, I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM

IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS.

DOES THAT MEAN ANYTHING?

ANYTHING.

HEY, BILLINGSLEY JUST CAME IN.

WHERE IS HE?

OVER BY THE DOOR.

ATTENTION, EVERYBODY.

IN THIS CANTEEN, WE ENTERTAIN OURSELVES.

ANY VOLUNTEERS?

PUT ME DOWN!

WATCH THE BOSS' FACE.

I WANT TO KNOW HOW I DID.

GOOD NIGHT.

OF COURSE YOU CAN SEE I CAME TOTALLY UNPREPARED.

HOW ABOUT A LITTLE HELP FROM MY QUARTET?

Both: WE'LL BE RIGHT OVER.

Judy: OK, FELLAS, HIT IT.

♪ THERE'S A DOCTOR LIVING IN YOUR TOWN ♪

♪ THERE'S A LAWYER AND AN INDIAN, TOO ♪

♪ NEITHER DOCTOR, LAWYER, NOR INDIAN CHIEF ♪

♪ COULD LOVE YOU ANY MORE THAN I DO ♪

♪ THERE'S A BARREL OF FISH IN THE OCEAN ♪

♪ THERE'S A LOT OF LITTLE BIRDS IN THE BLUE ♪

♪ AND NEITHER FISH NOR FOWL SAYS THE WISE OLD OWL ♪

♪ COULD LOVE YOU ANY MORE THAN I DO ♪

♪ NO, NO, NO, IT COULDN'T BE TRUE ♪

♪ THAT ANYONE ELSE COULD LOVE YOU LIKE I DO ♪

♪ I'M GONNA WARN ALL THE DEAD-EYED DICKS ♪

♪ THAT YOU'RE THE CHICK WITH THE SLICKEST TRICKS ♪

♪ AND EVERY TICK OF MY TICKER TICKS ♪

♪ FOR YOU, FOLLOW THROUGH ♪

♪ TELL THE DOC TO STICK TO HIS PRACTICE ♪

♪ TELL THE LAWYER TO SETTLE HIS CASE ♪

♪ SEND THE INDIAN CHIEF AND HIS TOMMYHAWK ♪

♪ BACK TO LITTLE RAIN IN THE FACE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE YOU KNOW, KNOW, KNOW IT COULDN'T BE TRUE ♪

♪ THAT ANYONE ELSE COULD LOVE YOU LIKE I DO ♪

♪ NO, NO, NO, IT COULDN'T BE TRUE ♪

♪ THAT ANYONE ELSE COULD LOVE YOU LIKE I DO ♪

♪ AND CONFIDENTIALLY, I CONFESS ♪

♪ I SENT A NOTE TO THE LOCAL PRESS ♪

♪ THAT I'LL BE CHANGING MY HOME ADDRESS ♪

♪ FOR YOU, FOLLOW THROUGH ♪

♪ TELL THE DOCTOR TO STICK TO HIS PRACTICE ♪

♪ TELL THE LAWYER TO SETTLE HIS CASE ♪

♪ SEND THE INDIAN CHIEF AND HIS TOMMYHAWK ♪

♪ BACK TO LITTLE RAIN IN THE FACE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE YOU KNOW, KNOW, KNOW IT COULDN'T BE TRUE ♪

♪ THAT ANYONE ELSE COULD LOVE YOU LIKE I DO ♪

♪ NO, NO, NO, IT COULDN'T BE TRUE ♪

♪ THAT ANYONE ELSE COULD LOVE YOU LIKE I DO ♪

♪ I'M GONNA SEND A HOT COMMUNIQUE ♪

♪ TO WARN THE BOYS DOWN AT CRIPPLE CREEK ♪

♪ THAT EVERY DIMPLE OF YOUR DIMPLED CHEEK ♪

♪ IS MINE, SO TO SPEAK ♪

♪ TELL THE ♪ ♪ DOC ♪

♪ TO STICK TO HIS PRACTICE ♪

♪ TELL THE ♪ ♪ LAWYER ♪

♪ TO SETTLE HIS CASE ♪

♪ SEND THE ♪ ♪ INDIAN CHIEF ♪

♪ AND HIS TOMMYHAWK ♪

♪ BACK TO LITTLE RAIN IN THE FACE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE YOU KNOW, KNOW, KNOW IT COULDN'T BE TRUE ♪

♪ THAT ANYONE ELSE COULD LOVE YOU LIKE I DO ♪

♪ LIKE I DO ♪

♪ LIKE I DO ♪

♪ LIKE I DO ♪

♪ LIKE I DO ♪

[APPLAUSE]

GEE, KID, YOU WERE WONDERFUL.

DID YOU WATCH HIS FACE?

HOW COULD I? HE TOOK IT WITH HIM.

THE LAUNDRIES AREN'T WHAT THEY USED TO BE.

THE COMFORT ALL SHRUNK OUT OF THEM.

[HUMMING]

ARE YOU SURE JUDY WILL GET THE LETTER AT 2:00?

SURE. I'M SENDING IT BY SPECIAL MESSENGER.

GOOD, GOOD. I GOT TO BE THERE.

I GOT TO SEE HER FACE WHEN SHE GETS IT.

YOU SEE, I'M A NOSY KIND OF A SANTA CLAUS.

YOU KNOW, IT'S CRAZY, J.B.,

PUTTING ON THOSE OLD RAGS.

RAGS, ARE THEY?

HERE. FEEL THAT MATERIAL.

YOU WON'T GET THAT QUALITY NOWADAYS.

NO, THANKS.

AFRAID SOMETHING WILL JUMP OUT AND BITE YOU?

EXACTLY. NOW LOOK, YOU WANT TO BE ANONYMOUS.

IF YOU HANG AROUND, SHE'S GONNA SMELL A RAT.

NONSENSE. SHE THINKS I'M A POOR MAN.

SHE WANTS TO GET ME A JOB.

HA! WHAT'LL YOU DO IF SHE DOES?

I NEVER GAVE IT A THOUGHT.

THAT'S A NASTY COMPLICATION.

WELL, I'LL CROSS THAT BRIDGE WHEN I CROSS IT.

[HUMMING]

HOW DO I LOOK?

YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAMP.

I'D LIKE TO PASS FOR THAT.

LOOK AT THE HEAD START YOU GOT.

NOTHING YOU CAN SAY CAN ANNOY ME TODAY.

COME ON, DRIVE INTO TOWN WITH ME.

I WOULDN'T WALK TO THE CORNER WITH YOU.

EXCUSE ME. I WONDER, WOULD YOU BE KIND ENOUGH--

HERE YOU ARE, AND DON'T TELL ME

YOU'RE GOING TO SPEND IT ON FOOD.

WHY, HOW DARE YOU! WHY, I OUGHT TO--

THERE IT IS, SURE ENOUGH.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

MAY I CHECK YOUR HAT?

POP!

HOW ARE YOU, JUDY?

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN, ANYWAY?

I'VE BEEN MANAGING.

ANYHOW, YOU'RE STILL ALIVE.

IS HE?

OH, GWEN, THIS IS POP.

I PULLED HIM OUT OF THE OCEAN.

WHY?

YOUNG LADY, WHAT KIND OF A QUESTION IS THAT?

HAVE YOU NO FEELING FOR YOUR FELLOW MAN?

NOT A SHRED.

DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO HER, POP.

LISTEN, YOU STICK AROUND.

I'M GOING TO SEE WHAT I CAN DO

ABOUT GETTING YOU A JOB.

NO HURRY. NO HURRY AT ALL. PLENTY OF TIME.

DON'T WANT TO WORK, HUH?

I'M BEGINNING NOT TO LIKE YOU.

DON'T ENCOURAGE IT.

LOOK, POP, YOU WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF YOURSELF, DON'T YOU?

HE ALREADY HAS. LOOK AT HIM.

YOU DO WANT TO WORK, DON'T YOU?

NOT IF I CAN POSSIBLY ESCAPE IT.

I'M NOT EASILY PLACED. I HAVE LIMITATIONS.

WHAT'LL I DO WITH HIM?

THROW HIM BACK IN THE OCEAN.

OH, I CAN'T DO THAT.

OH, THANKS.

BUT I AM GOING TO GET HIM A JOB.

HEY, POP, FOOL HER. TAKE A POWDER.

I WONDER WHAT YOUR MOTHER WAS LIKE.

MR. CORETTI, HOW ARE YOU FIXED FOR HELP?

HELP. DO YOU MEAN THERE'S SOMEBODY

WHO WANTS TO WORK?

I THINK HE COULD BE TALKED INTO IT.

JUDY, FOR A GOOD WAITER,

I WOULD GIVE BOTH OF MY RIGHT EYES.

OH, HE'S MORE THE BUSBOY TYPE.

THEN I'LL GIVE ONLY ONE.

SWELL.

PSST.

THIS IS POP.

MR. CORETTI, POP.

MR. CORETTI, IS IT?

COME WITH ME.

GOOD LUCK, POP.

WHAT HAPPENED?

CORETTI SNAPPED HIM UP LIKE THAT.

I'LL BET HE HASN'T WORKED SINCE SING-SING.

NOW REMEMBER WHAT I SAID.

DON'T PILE TOO MANY DISHES ON ONE PLATE.

BE COURTEOUS TO THE WAITERS--

TO THE WAITERS?

YES.

WE CAN GET ALL THE CUSTOMERS WE WANT.

ON YOUR WAY.

CLEAR OFF THESE DISHES, BOY.

I'M NOT FINISHED WITH THIS YET, BOY!

YOU ARE AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HIM?

HEY, BOY, RIGHT OVER HERE.

WELL, POP, WHEN DO YOU START?

I'M ALREADY FINISHED.

WHAT?

SHORT HOURS. IT'S THE UNION I BELONG TO.

NOW, POP, COME CLEAN.

I'M SORRY, AND I HOPE YOU'LL THINK NONE THE LESS OF ME

FOR BEING THE KIND OF MAN I AM.

IT'S NOT THAT I'M NOT GRATEFUL TO YOU, BECAUSE I AM.

THAT'S OK, POP. I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE.

OH, NO, YOU WON'T.

YOU GO OVER THERE AND SIT DOWN.

I'LL BE OFF IN A FEW MINUTES,

AND WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT.

WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT, I GUESS.

WHY DON'T YOU GIVE HIM A COUPLE OF BUCKS

AND LET HIM GO?

NO, I LIKE HIM. I THINK I'LL ADOPT HIM.

NOW, JUDY, YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIS PARENTS.

WHERE CAN I FIND MISS JUDY PEABODY?

I'M JUDY PEABODY.

OH, GWEN, THIS IS A G.

NOT TO ME, IT ISN'T.

WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?

NOTHING. WHY?

THAT LINE-- "YOU HAVE BEEN MOST ACCOMMODATING."

THAT'S A LIE.

I WOULDN'T TAKE THAT TOO SERIOUSLY.

SOMEBODY THINKS VERY HIGHLY OF YOU.

I'LL SAY THEY DO.

NOTHING LIKE THAT EVER HAPPENS TO ME.

DO YOU THINK IT COULD BE ON THE LEVEL?

IT'S A CINCH TO FIND OUT.

THAT'S RIGHT. LOCKE'S FIFTH AVENUE

IS THE BIGGEST STORE IN NEW YORK.

THEY SELL EVERYTHING FROM A BASEBALL BAT TO A DIAMOND LAVALIERE.

WHO NEEDS A DIAMOND LAVALIERE?

THEY'RE VERY VULGAR.

IF THAT LETTER MEANS WHAT I THINK IT DOES,

YOU'LL NEED A BASEBALL BAT.

I'LL TRY IT OUT ON POP.

ON ME?

WE'LL TAKE YOU TO THE MEN'S DEPARTMENT

AND GET YOU OUTFITTED FROM HEAD TO FOOT.

IF IT WORKS, WE'LL BUY OUT THE JOINT!

THERE. A COMPLETE METAMORPHOSIS.

I'LL THANK YOU TO KEEP

A CIVIL TONGUE IN YOUR HEAD.

WE'LL TAKE TWO MORE-- A BLUE AND A GRAY.

GEE, POP, YOU LOOK WONDERFUL.

I'M PROUD OF YOU.

I WISH I COULD SHARE YOUR JOY.

IS THIS CASH OR CHARGE, MISS?

UM, CHARGE.

THANK YOU. MR. HANSON!

MR. HANSON!

BET THAT'S THE HOUSE DETECTIVE.

YOUR NAME, PLEASE?

JUDY PEABODY.

YOUR ADDRESS?

THE STORK CLUB.

YOU LIVE THERE? WHAT FUN!

SHALL WE SEND THIS, MISS PEABODY?

NO, WE'LL TAKE THEM WITH US.

HANSON-- CREDIT MANAGER.

MISS PEABODY. WHY, OF COURSE! MISS PEABODY.

IT'S A PLEASURE TO WELCOME YOU TO LOCKE'S.

I'M GLAD TO MEET YOU, TOO!

WE'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU.

THEN EVERYTHING'S ALL RIGHT?

PERFECTLY IN ORDER.

WHERE ARE THE MINK COATS?

GENUINE LABRADOR MINK, MISS PEABODY.

J.B.: MINKS? MOST UNHEALTHY LITTLE ANIMALS.

HOW MUCH IS IT?

$6,000. FEEL IT, SIR.

J.B.: I CAN FEEL IT FROM HERE.

OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

AND THE PRICE IS RIGHT.

BUT, JUDY, WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER

IF YOU FIRST LOOKED AT SOME NICE CLOTH COATS?

OH, POP, YOU HAVE NO IDEA

WHAT MINK MEANS TO A WOMAN.

I'LL TAKE TWO.

TWO.

MY COMING-OUT PRESENT FOR YOU.

JUDY, I COULDN'T THINK OF IT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU'VE BEEN THINKING OF IT FOR YEARS.

WE'LL WEAR THEM.

TODAY? IN ALL THIS HEAT?

WOULDN'T YOU?

YES, MISS PEABODY.

MISS PEABODY'S THE YOUNG LADY IN WHITE.

BUT, JUDY, IT'S AUGUST,

AND ONE OF THE HOTTEST DAYS IN THE YEAR.

SO WHAT?

YOU'LL MELT IN A FUR COAT.

YEAH, BUT I'LL LOOK AWFUL GOOD DOING IT.

MISS PEABODY?

YES?

I'M HIGGINS, YOUR CHAUFFEUR.

YEAH?

YOUR CAR IS AT THE NORTH ENTRANCE.

MY...CAR.

YES, MISS.

WELL, WHY WEREN'T YOU AT THE STORK CLUB TO PICK ME UP?

SORRY, MISS, BUT I WAS INSTRUCTED TO MOVE YOUR THINGS

TO THE YORK TOWERS.

OH, WELL, UM, WELL, SEE THAT IT DOESN'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

I CAN STAND IT NO LONGER.

YOU MAY GO, HAWKINS.

UH, HIGGINS, MISS.

HIGGINS, SHMIGGINS. YOU MAY GO ANYWAY.

CURTIS, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME?

THAT GIRL IS HERE BUYING FUR COATS

IN BUNCHES, LIKE BANANAS.

YOU WANTED TO MAKE HER HAPPY, DIDN'T YOU?

SURE, I WANTED TO MAKE HER HAPPY

BUT NOT HYSTERICAL.

CARS. CHAUFFEURS. YORK TOWERS.

THAT GIRL WILL BREAK ME.

WELL, J.B., IF SHE DOES,

YOU CAN ALWAYS COME AND STAY WITH ME.

I DON'T WANT TO STAY--

I'D KEEP THEM OUT OF THE SUN AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.

Judy: WE'LL GET A COUPLE OF PARASOLS.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

CALL AGAIN, MISS PEABODY.

WE WILL IF WE'RE IN TOWN.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

GETTING ME SECOND WIND.

Judy: AND NOW FOR THE DRESSES.

HOT, ISN'T IT?

THERE OUGHT TO BE A BETTER WORD FOR IT THAN THAT.

SHALL WE TAKE THEM OFF?

I'LL DIE FIRST.

JUDY, FOR PETE'S SAKE, BUY SOMETHING

AND LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

ALL RIGHT. MISS!

YES, MISS PEABODY.

I DON'T KNOW.

THEY'RE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL,

BUT, UM, I'LL TAKE THAT ONE

AND, UM, THAT ONE

AND THAT ONE

AND THAT ONE.

"I'LL TAKE THAT ONE AND THAT ONE

AND THAT ONE AND THAT ONE."

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THEM ALL?

ALL RIGHT, POP. I'LL TAKE THEM ALL.

THERE ARE ONLY TWO APARTMENTS TO A FLOOR UP THIS HIGH.

WHO HAS THE OTHER APARTMENT?

IT'S VACANT AT PRESENT.

WHY DON'T YOU RENT IT AND PROTECT YOURSELF?

WOULD YOU BE HAVING AN ASPIRIN ON YOU?

NO, SIR. I'M SORRY. THIS WAY, MISS PEABODY.

THIS IS THE LIVING ROOM.

SHALL I TAKE YOU THROUGH THE REST OF THE APARTMENT?

NO. WE'LL DO THAT LATER.

IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO, JUST CALL ME.

THANK YOU. I WILL.

HERE, HONEY. I DID A LITTLE SHOPPING ON MY OWN.

WHAT IS IT?

A PERSUADER.

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT.

I'M LIABLE TO MAIM SOMEBODY FOR LIFE.

GWEN, IT'S GOT ME DOWN. I CAN'T STAND IT.

ALL THIS--IT'S ENOUGH TO DRIVE ME OUT OF MY MIND.

TAKE IT EASY, JUDY. RELAX.

I HAVE, SO WHY CAN'T YOU?

TAKE WHAT'S FREELY GIVEN TO YOU.

PROVIDENCE WORKS ITS WONDERS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS.

PROVIDENCE DOESN'T GO AROUND OPENING CHARGE ACCOUNTS

FOR HATCHECK GIRLS.

WELL, I'LL BE RUNNING ALONG.

OH, NO, POP. DON'T GO.

I NEED YOUR MORAL SUPPORT.

DO YOU, NOW?

BESIDES, WHERE WILL YOU GO?

OH, I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

SURE. CURLED UP ON A PARK BENCH SOMEWHERE.

WELL, NOT EXACTLY.

HAVE YOU ANYONE, POP, YOU'RE CLOSE TO?

NOT ANYMORE.

WHAT HAPPENED?

ME WIFE LEFT ME 6 MONTHS AGO.

WHY?

I TOLD HER TO.

THERE WAS A SLIGHT COMPLICATION--

ANOTHER MAN-- CLARENCE BASCOMBE.

WAS BASCOMBE YOUNGER THAN YOU?

NO. 65.

OH. HE HAD MONEY.

NOT AS MUCH AS I.

SHE LEFT YOU FOR ANOTHER BUM?

I DON'T GET IT.

POP, A MAN 65 IS HARMLESS.

I'M 65, AND I'M NOT HARMLESS.

SO FAR AS ME WIFE IS CONCERNED, I MEAN.

THAT'S HER PICTURE.

ISN'T SHE LOVELY?

YES, POP.

I THINK THE WHOLE THING MUST HAVE BEEN YOUR FAULT.

WHY DOES EVERYONE SIDE WITH EDITH? I--

NOW, NOW, POP. TILL YOU GET YOURSELF STRAIGHTENED OUT,

YOU BETTER STAY HERE WITH ME.

ALL RIGHT, ONLY I'LL HAVE TO LEAVE YOU

FROM TIME TO TIME.

POP, YOU GOT TO GIVE UP ALL THAT PANHANDLING.

FROM NOW ON, I'M TAKING CARE OF YOU.

NOW GO PICK YOURSELF OUT A ROOM.

I WANT TO TALK TO GWEN.

ALL RIGHT.

GWEN, I'M SCARED.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO--MOVE OUT?

I AM NOT.

I'M GONNA FIND OUT WHO THE WOLF IS.

WHOEVER HE IS, HE SURE HOWLS PRETTY.

IT WON'T DO HIM ANY GOOD.

I'M SAVING MYSELF FOR DANNY.

SUPPOSE DANNY FINDS OUT?

HOW'S HE GONNA FIND OUT,

WAY OUT THERE IN THE PACIFIC?

YOU KNOW, I GOT A HUNCH

THERE'S ANOTHER JUDY PEABODY.

SAY, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT.

I WONDER WHO SHE IS.

I WONDER WHAT SHE DOES.

WAIT A MINUTE, JUDY.

THAT LETTER WAS SENT TO THE STORK CLUB.

THINK BACK. HAVE ANY OF THE CUSTOMERS

BEEN PARTICULARLY NICE TO YOU LATELY?

I CAN'T THINK OF ANYBODY.

I'VE GOT IT.

WHAT?

WHO'S THE MOST GENEROUS MAN IN THE WORLD?

WHO GIVES AWAY MORE THAN ANYBODY ELSE?

SHERMAN BILLINGSLEY.

BILLINGSLEY? OH, NO.

I'VE BEEN THERE OVER 3 YEARS,

AND I'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN HIM LOOK SIDEWISE AT ANYBODY.

JUST THE SAME, HE'S AROUND 40,

AND THAT'S A DANGEROUS AGE.

YOU KNOW, HE WAS AWFUL NICE TO ME

IN HIS OFFICE YESTERDAY.

WELL, THERE YOU ARE.

I'M AWFUL GLAD YOU BOUGHT THIS BASEBALL BAT.

WHY?

SHERMAN BILLINGSLEY'S GONNA LOOK PRETTY SILLY

WITH NO TEETH.

ARE YOU QUITTING THE JOB?

NO, I'M NOT,

BUT I'M GONNA PLAY SICK TONIGHT.

I GOT TO HAVE TIME TO THINK THIS THING OVER.

DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL HIM?

NO. I'LL PHONE.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

CHECK YOUR HAT, MARINE?

I'M LOOKING FOR JUDY PEABODY.

SHE'S NOT ON TILL 9:00 TONIGHT.

STILL WORKS HERE, HUH?

THAT'S GREAT. I LIKE THINGS TO STAY THE SAME.

MAKES A GUY FEEL LIKE HE'S REALLY HOME AGAIN.

YOU'RE DANNY! YOU'RE DANNY!

THAT'S RIGHT. HOW'D YOU KNOW?

SHE TALKS A LOT ABOUT YOU.

STILL?

THERE ARE 12 OF US HERE,

AND WE ALL KNOW YOU.

STORK CLUB CLOAKROOM. MOLLY SPEAKING.

WHO? JUDY? HOLD ON A MINUTE.

IT'S JUDY. SHALL I TELL HER YOU'RE HERE?

NO, NO. I WANT TO SURPRISE HER.

YEAH, JUDY. YEAH. YEAH, OK. WHERE ARE YOU?

YORK TOWERS? OH. UH-HUH. SO LONG.

SHE'S AT THE YORK TOWERS, SUITE 32-A.

YORK TOWERS? WHAT IS SHE DOING THERE?

NOTHING YOU'VE GOT TO WORRY ABOUT.

YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT. YOU'RE STILL HEAD MAN.

SURE. I KNOW THAT. I'M JUST THINKING

I'D LIKE TO SEE HER RIGHT AWAY.

YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.

WELL, GET GOING.

YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT I BROUGHT HER?

SURE. SURE.

TAKE A LOOK.

YOU PROBABLY THINK I GOT IT IN CHINA.

WELL, DIDN'T YOU?

NO. FRISCO.

SHE'LL LOVE IT.

I HOPE SO. I GOT TO BE RUNNING ALONG.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

SO LONG.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

HELLO, KID.

SURPRISED?

DANNY.

DANNY.

DANNY!

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

SURE. SURE, I'M ALL RIGHT.

MOVE, DANNY, MOVE. DO SOMETHING!

WELL, I--BABY, HOW I'VE WAITED FOR THIS.

WOW!

SAY IT AGAIN, DANNY.

I CAN'T TALK YET FOR A WHILE.

TALKING WOULDN'T MAKE SENSE NOW.

WE CAN TALK LATER.

OH, I JUST WANT TO LOOK AT YOU,

MAKE SURE IT'S YOU,

THAT YOU STILL FEEL THE SAME.

YOU DO, DON'T YOU?

YES, DANNY.

OH, SURE. SURE. I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR EYES.

YOUR EYES TALK, JUDY.

THEY SAY WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

THEY ALWAYS DID.

OH, I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T CHANGE.

SAY, I'VE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS FOR YOU, HONEY.

YOU'RE GOOD NEWS TO ME.

YEAH, BUT WAIT. I GOT A BAND ALL SET TO GO.

SO SOON?

OH, WAIT TILL YOU HEAR THEM--

THE PICK OF THE COUNTRY, TOP MEN.

I ORGANIZED THEM IN MIRALDEN HOSPITAL

WHILE WE WERE WAITING TO BE DISCHARGED.

GEE, DANNY, IT SOUNDS GREAT.

YEAH, BUT I GOT TO WORK FAST.

IF I DON'T GET US A JOB, I'LL LOSE THEM.

YOU CAN'T HOLD GUYS LIKE THESE TOGETHER WITHOUT DOUGH.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO WORK AT THE STORK CLUB?

IS THERE A CHANCE?

I THINK IT CAN BE FIXED.

I'LL TALK TO THE BOSS.

OH, THE SAME OLD JUDY, HUH?

YOU'RE GONNA SING WITH THE BAND.

YOU KNOW THAT, DON'T YOU?

AND MY DANNY.

NOTHING BUT THE BEST FOR ME.

SAY, I BROUGHT YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING.

DID YOU, DARLING?

IT ISN'T VERY MUCH.

OH, DANNY, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

TRY IT ON. I HAD TO GUESS AT THE SIZE.

AS IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW.

SAY, THAT'S A PRETTY NIFTY-LOOKING DRESS YOU GOT ON.

TURN AROUND, JUDY.

YEAH. VERY NIFTY.

DO YOU LIKE IT?

YEAH. BUSINESS MUST BE GOOD IN THE CHECKROOM.

WHERE ARE WE, JUDY?

LET'S TRY THE JACKET ON.

NO. WHOSE APARTMENT IS THIS?

WELL, IN A WAY, IT'S MINE, DANNY.

IN A WAY?

YES.

WHAT KIND OF A WAY?

IN A PERFECTLY INNOCENT WAY.

YOU LIVE HERE ALONE?

WELL, PRACTICALLY.

WELL, I PICKED MESELF OUT A FINE ROOM.

OH.

WHO'S THAT?

THE BUTLER.

BUTLER?

M-MR. BUTLER.

THIS IS MR. WILTON-- DANNY WILTON.

CAN IT BE?

DANNY. THE YOUNG MAN YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH.

OH, NOW LOOK. WHO ARE YOU TWO TRYING TO KID?

HONEST, DANNY.

MR. BUTLER KNOWS ALL ABOUT YOU.

YEAH? WELL, I'D LIKE TO KNOW ALL ABOUT MR. BUTLER.

THAT'S EASY. AND THIS APARTMENT.

THAT'S NOT SO... HARD EITHER.

NOT FOR YOU, I GUESS.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU.

I INHERITED SOME MONEY.

I SEE.

FROM AN UNCLE WHO WAS IN OIL.

OF COURSE, THE INCOME'S ONLY TEMPORARY.

THE WILL'S BEING CONTESTED IN TULSA, OKLAHOMA.

BY WHOM?

SOME INDIANS.

Danny: RELATIVES?

ONLY ON MY FATHER'S SIDE.

STOP IT, JUDY. YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS.

ALL RIGHT. DO YOU WANT TO HEAR THE HONEST TRUTH?

YES. YES, GO ON.

WELL, IT'S LIKE THIS.

IT'S HIM!

YOU SEE, I SAVED HIS LIFE,

AND HE WAS SO GRATEFUL--

SO GRATEFUL THAT HE BOUGHT YOU EXTRAVAGANT CLOTHES,

EXPENSIVE APARTMENTS?

THAT'S RIGHT. ISN'T IT?

OF COURSE IT IS.

THERE.

WHY DON'T YOU STOP LYING?

I'VE HEARD OF THINGS LIKE THIS HAPPENING TO OTHER GUYS

WHILE THEY WERE AWAY, BUT I DIDN'T THINK IT COULD HAPPEN TO ME.

I KEPT THINKING YOU WERE DIFFERENT.

DAY AFTER DAY AND NIGHT AFTER NIGHT,

IT WAS THE ONE THOUGHT THAT KEPT ME GOING.

DANNY, PLEASE LISTEN TO ME. I CAN--

NO, THANKS!

I'VE HEARD ENOUGH.

[WHISPERS] Danny.

[DOOR SLAMS]

HOW DID YOU MAKE UP THAT STORY ABOUT IT BEING ME?

HOW COULD I TELL HIM THE TRUTH

WHEN I DON'T EVEN KNOW IT MYSELF?

WHY DIDN'T YOU SHOW HIM THE LETTER?

FINE. THEN HE'D THINK THE WORST.

THE LETTER SAYS I'VE BEEN "VERY ACCOMMODATING."

OH, IF ONLY HE'D COME HOME YESTERDAY.

I'M SORRY THIS HAPPENED.

MAYBE I COULD HELP YOU TO FIND OUT WHO HE IS.

BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, POP.

YOU SEE, I THINK I KNOW WHO IT IS.

OH, YOU DO?

YES, MY BOSS.

BILLINGSLEY?

AND THE WORST OF IT IS,

I HAVE TO GO TO HIM SO DANNY GETS THE JOB AT THE STORK.

JUDY, PROMISE ME YOU WON'T DO ANYTHING

WE'LL BOTH BE SORRY FOR.

WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM?

DON'T ANSWER THAT.

ANY CALLS?

JUDY OF THE CLOAKROOM IS HERE TO SEE YOU.

OH. WELL, OK. TELL HER TO COME IN.

SIT DOWN, JUDY. I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU.

[WHISTLING]

IS ANYTHING WRONG?

NOT YET.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

NOTHING. EVERYTHING'S FINE.

YOU'VE BEEN VERY NICE TO ME, AND I APPRECIATE IT.

IT'S NOTHING.

OH, NO?

CERTAINLY NOT.

LOOK, SHERM-- MR. BILLINGSLEY--

THAT'S RIGHT ABOUT MY BEING UNDER NO OBLIGATION, ISN'T IT?

YOUR ONLY OBLIGATION TO ME IS TO BE ON TIME

AND DO YOUR WORK PROPERLY.

I DON'T GET IT.

THERE IS ONE THING, HOWEVER.

WHAT?

WE'LL GET ALONG MUCH BETTER WITHOUT THESE SURPRISE VISITS.

I GET IT.

OH, I ALMOST FORGOT WHAT I CAME HERE TO TELL YOU.

WHAT'S THAT?

I HAVE A LITTLE SUGGESTION.

IS IT ABOUT THE CHECKROOM?

NO. IT'S ABOUT-- DON'T BOTHER, THEN.

I WANT TO MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU.

YOU TAKE CARE OF THE CHECKROOM

AND LET ME RUN THE STORK CLUB.

DO YOU MIND?

COME IN, MISS PATTEN.

PARDON ME.

WELL, MIS PEABODY, WHEN DOES MY BAND OPEN AT THE STORK?

IT DOESN'T. I MEAN IT ISN'T--

NO? THE WAY YOU TWO CAME OUT JUST NOW,

I THOUGHT WE WERE ALL SET.

DANNY, DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

THERE ARE SOME CIRCUMSTANCES--

I'LL SAY THERE ARE,

BUT YOU'RE NOT GONNA INVOLVE ME IN THEM.

I COME BACK AND FIND YOU AT THE YORK TOWERS,

DRESSED LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF "VOGUE,"

IN THE COMPANY OF AN OLD MAN YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN,

AND NOW I SEE YOU WITH THE BOSS' ARM AROUND YOU.

SOME CIRCUMSTANCES.

HA HA. IT DOES LOOK KIND OF FUNNY, DOESN'T IT?

NOT TO ME, IT DOESN'T.

DANNY, YOU'RE WALKING OUT ON A GIRL

WHO'S NO DIFFERENT THAN SHE EVER WAS.

THERE'LL COME A TIME WHEN YOU'LL FIND THAT OUT.

THEN HOW WILL YOU FEEL?

WHEN I FIND THAT OUT, I'LL LET YOU KNOW.

THANK YOU.

NO MATTER HOW I FIGURE IT OUT,

I ALWAYS COME BACK TO THE SAME THING.

WHAT'S THAT?

I LOVE HIM.

I GATHERED THAT.

I JUST CAN'T LET HIM LOSE HIS BAND

AND ME IN THE BARGAIN.

HOW'S HE GONNA KEEP THE GUYS

IF HE CAN'T GET A JOB?

MAYBE HE CAN'T KEEP THEM, BUT I CAN.

HOW'S THAT AGAIN?

YOU WAIT AND SEE. WHEN WE KNOCK OFF HERE,

WE'RE GOING OVER WHERE HE'S REHEARSING.

I WAS HOPING WE COULD GO SHOPPING AGAIN.

I COULD USE A NEW GIRDLE.

WHO COULDN'T?

GEE, WHAT A BAND!

THAT'S JIMMY JONES ON THE DRUMS.

OK, TAKE 5.

JIMMY!

GWEN!

YOU STOOD ME UP THE LAST TIME WE HAD A DATE.

THAT WAS 3 YEARS AGO.

WHAT HAPPENED?

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU.

I WAS STANDING ON THE CORNER.

A MILITARY BAND WENT BY,

AND THE NEXT THING I KNEW,

I WAS IN CAMP ROBERTS.

I'LL GIVE YOU ONE MORE CHANCE.

MEET ME TONIGHT ON THE SAME CORNER.

YOU GOT A DEAL.

Judy: DANNY.

CAN I SEE YOU A MINUTE?

OK.

THE BAND IS SWELL, DANNY.

THANKS.

AND IF YOU OPEN IN A GOOD SPOT,

YOUR FORTUNE IS MADE.

THAT'S RIGHT. YOU LIKE RICH GUYS, DON'T YOU?

WHAT KIND OF A CRACK IS THAT?

THIS IS A WASTE OF TIME, JUDY.

BUT I'M IN A SPOT TO HELP YOU KEEP THE BAND TOGETHER.

THANKS. I'LL FIND A WAY TO DO THAT.

NOW YOU RUN ALONG, WILL YOU?

NO, I WON'T.

I'M GONNA GET SORE IN A MINUTE.

I'M SORE NOW.

THIS IS VERY EMBARRASSING.

DON'T BLUSH SO EASY.

YOU OUGHT TO.

GET SMART. I'M LOADED LIKE A TRANSPORT.

WILL YOU BLOW?

IT'S LEND LEASE. DON'T BE A CHUMP.

NO.

WELL, THANKS, JUDY.

NICE OF YOU TO DROP IN ON US.

DON'T MENTION IT, DANNY.

WELL, FELLAS, YOU'RE ALL SET.

FROM NOW ON, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

YOU'RE ALL MOVING IN THE YORK TOWERS AS MY GUESTS

TILL YOU GET IN THE RIGHT SPOT.

SAY, THAT SOUNDS FINE.

HEY, NOW WAIT A MINUTE.

DANNY THOUGHT MAYBE YOU FELLAS WOULDN'T LIKE IT.

WHY NOT? TELL US MORE.

NOTHING DOING. I WON'T STAND FOR IT.

CAN YOU MAKE US A BETTER OFFER?

NO, BUT WE'LL GET STARTED EVENTUALLY, AND--

NEVER MIND THAT.

I'M ALL FOR IT. WHAT DO YOU GUYS SAY?

[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]

SWELL.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

POP, WE'RE GONNA HAVE COMPANY.

I'LL PUT ME SHOES ON.

"THE WALL STREET JOURNAL"?

POP, YOU SLAY ME.

YOU SEEM IN MIGHTY GOOD SPIRITS.

IN A WAY I AM.

I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER-- MR. GRAY.

YOU MADE IT UP WITH THE YOUNG MAN?

NO, POP. THAT'S ALL OFF.

AH, THAT'S A PITY.

MR. GRAY, THIS IS MISS PEABODY.

IS THE APARTMENT NEXT TO MINE STILL VACANT?

IT IS? HOW MANY ROOMS IS IT?

12. THAT'S FINE. I'LL TAKE IT.

YOU CAN CHARGE IT TO MY ACCOUNT.

OH, IN ABOUT AN HOUR.

OPERATOR, WILL YOU CONNECT ME WITH LOCKE'S FIFTH AVENUE?

NOW WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?

I'M GOING TO RUIN BILLINGSLEY OR SOMEBODY.

LOCKE'S? MEN'S DEPARTMENT, PLEASE.

I'LL SHOW HIM! I'LL SMOKE HIM OUT.

I'LL SPEND EVERY CENT HE'S GOT.

BUT WHY?

HE RUINED MY LOVE AFFAIR, THAT'S WHY.

MEN'S DEPARTMENT? THIS IS MISS JUDY PEABODY AT THE YORK TOWERS.

COULD YOU SEND A REPRESENTATIVE UP TO MY APARTMENT

TO MEASURE 12 MEN FOR DINNER JACKETS, TROPICALS,

AND A HALF-DOZEN BUSINESS SUITS APIECE.

THEN THERE WILL BE SHOES, SHIRTS,

AND COLLARS AND TIES BESIDES.

THAT'S FINE. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WHAT HAVE I DONE?

POP, DID YOU HURT YOURSELF? WHAT?

WHEN YOU BUMPED INTO THE WALL JUST NOW.

DID I BUMP INTO THE WALL?

WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

JUDY, I MUST TELL YOU SOMETHING. I AM A BA--

NOW, DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE LEAVING AGAIN.

I THINK BOTH OF US SHOULD LEAVE.

NOT ME. I'M AFTER SOMEBODY'S SCALP,

AND I WON'T REST TILL I GET IT.

BUT, JUDY, IT'S MY SCALP.

YOU MUST HAVE HIT YOUR HEAD.

WHY DON'T YOU GO LIE DOWN?

JUDY, YOU MUST BELIEVE ME.

I'M A RICH MAN.

I HOPED TO BRING A LITTLE HAPPINESS INTO YOUR LIFE

BECAUSE YOU SAVED MINE,

BUT, ME GOOD GIRL, YOUR KIND OF HAPPINESS

IS MORE THAN I CAN AFFORD.

WHY DON'T YOU STOP IT, POP?

I THOUGHT OF THAT ONE AHEAD OF YOU.

CALL CURTIS. FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF.

YEAH. HE WOULD KNOW.

I WANT TO TALK TO HIM ANYWAY.

HIS NUMBER'S RECTOR-21098.

YOU READ THAT ON HIS LETTER TO ME.

CALL HIM. CALL HIM.

GET ME RECTOR-21098, PLEASE.

[INTERCOM BUZZES]

WELL?

OH, YEAH. PUT HER ON.

HELLO, MISS PEABODY. HOW ARE YOU?

YES. UH-HUH.

OF COURSE, OF COURSE.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL BE RIGHT UP.

NOW EITHER YOU'RE CRAZY, OR I'M GOING TO BE.

WE'LL SOON FIND OUT.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

COME IN.

SORRY TO INTRUDE.

YOU'RE NOT INTRUDING!

I HAVE THE KEY, AND WE'RE ALL SET.

THERE'S ONLY ONE THING I'D LIKE TO MAKE CLEAR TO YOU.

I'M ACCEPTING YOUR HOSPITALITY BECAUSE I HAVE TO,

BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU'RE GONNA GET EVERY CENT BACK.

EVERY CENT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

YES, DANNY.

YOUNG MAN, I LIKE YOU. I LIKE YOUR IDEAS.

I LIKE THE WAY YOU TALK.

I LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.

I WISH I COULD RETURN THE COMPLIMENT.

GOOD-BYE.

A FINE LAD.

YES. THAT'S ONE OF THE THINGS

THAT'S THE MATTER WITH HIM.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

I'LL GET IT, POP.

ARE YOU MR. CURTIS?

YES, MISS PEABODY.

COME ON. THANK YOU.

J.B.: WELL, IT TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH TO GET HERE.

NOW, SIR, TELL THIS YOUNG LADY WHO I AM.

WHY, I NEVER SAW YOU BEFORE IN MY LIFE.

HUP!

IS HE ANNOYING YOU?

YES, HE IS. HE TOLD ME A TERRIBLE LIE.

I TOLD HER WHO I WAS. I EXPECT YOU TO CONFIRM IT.

I THINK THE POOR OLD CHAP'S DEMENTED.

COME ON. YOU BETTER GET OUT OF HERE, OLD MAN.

OH, NO. I DON'T MIND IF HE STAYS HERE.

I JUST WISH HE'D BEHAVE HIMSELF.

WHAT DID HE DO?

WILL YOU OR WILL YOU NOT TELL HER WHO I AM?

PLEASE. IF YOU'RE NOT SURE WHO YOU ARE, DON'T ADVERTISE THE FACT.

OHH!

MR. CURTIS, I'M TRYING TO FIND OUT WHO'S KEEPING ME.

WELL, YOU MUSTN'T DO THAT.

YOUR BENEFACTOR'S A VERY GENEROUS MAN,

BUT HE WANTS TO STAY UNKNOWN.

I'LL FIND OUT WHO HE IS SOME WAY.

I DON'T THINK YOU WILL, MISS PEABODY.

IS IT YOU?

NO. I PAY THE BILLS, THOUGH,

AND YOU CAN GO RIGHT AHEAD AND DO ANYTHING

THAT'S GOING TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.

OHH!

J.B.: UMM.

WELL, WHOEVER HE IS, I'LL BREAK HIM

IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!

THAT WILL TAKE QUITE A BIT OF DOING, MISS PEABODY.

GOOD-BYE.

GOOD-BYE.

CURTIS!

HIYA, J.B.

OH, YOU KNOW ME NOW.

HOW DARE YOU SAY YOU DIDN'T KNOW ME?

WELL, YOU TOLD ME NOT TO LET HER KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

NEVER MIND WHAT I TELL YOU TO DO.

YOU DO WHAT I TELL YOU.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL TRY TO REMEMBER THAT.

THAT GIRL'S OUT TO BREAK ME.

HOW CAN SHE, J.B.?

SHE'S ORGANIZED.

LOOK. YOU'RE SOLVENT.

WHAT CAN IT COST YOU?

$200,000 OR $300,000

AND, OF COURSE, THE GIFT TAX.

GIFT TAX? WHAT'S THAT?

WELL, IF YOU'D EVER GIVEN ANYTHING AWAY BEFORE,

YOU'D KNOW.

EVERY TIME YOU GIVE ANYONE OVER $3,000,

YOU HAVE TO HAND THE GOVERNMENT ANOTHER 30%.

COOLIDGE. OH, FOR ANOTHER COOLIDGE.

AFTER YOU, J.B.

I WOULDN'T RIDE IN THE SAME CAR WITH YOU.

I'LL WALK DOWN!

WELL, DID YOU ENJOY YOUR STROLL, J.B.?

WELL, AT ANY RATE, IT GAVE ME TIME TO THINK THINGS OVER.

YOU KNOW, YOU COULD HAVE WALKED DOWN ONE FLIGHT

AND TAKEN THE ELEVATOR AT THE NEXT FLOOR.

I WAS SO MAD, I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT.

WELL, I'M GLAD YOU'RE FEELING BETTER ANYWAY.

TOM, I LOVE THAT GIRL JUDY DEARLY.

SHE REMINDS ME OF EDITH WHEN I WAS COURTING HER,

BUT I CAN'T BEAR TO SEE MONEY SPENT FOOLISHLY,

PARTICULARLY MINE.

WELL, I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO MAKE HER HAPPY.

I DID. IT'S MAKING HER MISERABLE.

HOW?

SHE HAS HER HEART SET ON A HORN TOOTER.

WHAT KIND OF FELLA IS HE?

AN INDEPENDENT KIND OF CHAP. I LIKE HIM.

WELL, GET THEM MARRIED.

THEN YOU'RE OFF THE HOOK.

CURTIS, MUCH AS I HATE TO ADMIT IT, I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT,

BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO BE EASY.

WHY NOT?

HE'S JEALOUS OF ME.

JEALOUS OF YOU? HA HA!

YEAH. I'D USE THE ELEVATOR

IF YOU WANT TO GET THERE TONIGHT.

AHEM.

JUDY.

YES?

I WANT TO ASK YOUR FORGIVENESS.

I DON'T KNOW WHATEVER POSSESSED ME TO ACT LIKE I DID.

NEITHER DO I. HOW COULD YOU MAKE UP SUCH A LIE?

WHAT WAS THE POINT?

I GUESS ME POOR OLD BRAIN ISN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE.

POP, I'M SORRY.

BUT I STILL HAVE ME LUCID MOMENTS,

AND IF YOU LET ME STAY AROUND WITH YOU,

I'LL HELP YOU BRING DANNY BACK TO HIS SENSES.

OH, POP, IF WE ONLY COULD.

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

DON'T LET ME INTERRUPT YOU.

OH, POP!

WELL, THAT'S THE WAY THINGS STAND, DANNY.

I CAN'T PLACE YOU FOR AT LEAST TWO WEEKS,

BUT I'M WILLING TO STAKE YOU AND THE BOYS

IN THE MEANTIME.

WE'RE BEING STAKED NOW.

THE GUYS ARE GETTING OTHER OFFERS

FROM BANDS THAT ARE WORKING.

I CAN'T HOLD THEM TOGETHER TWO WEEKS LONGER.

THAT'S A TOUGH BREAK,

BUT KEEP IN TOUCH WITH ME, THOUGH.

YOU NEVER CAN TELL.

YEAH, I WILL.

SO LONG.

THANKS, BARNEY.

[BAND WARMING UP]

HEY, FELLAS, LET'S GIVE THIS NUMBER A QUICK GOING OVER

BEFORE DANNY GETS BACK.

HE'LL NEVER KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

SUPPOSING HE DOES.

HE'D GET SORE.

WELL, AREN'T YOU GONNA SING WITH THE BAND?

NO. THAT'S ALL OFF.

HE TOLD YOU?

WELL, NOT IN SO MANY WORDS.

HE JUST ACTS THAT WAY.

WELL, GO AHEAD AND SING, JUDY.

I'D LIKE TO HEAR YOU MESELF.

MAYBE HE HAS A REASON YOU DON'T SUSPECT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I'LL TELL YOU AFTER I HEAR YOU SING.

OK, FELLAS, HIT IT!

[BAND PLAYING]

♪ WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I FOUND IT GRIM ♪

♪ TO GURGLE IN THE SOCIAL SWIM ♪

♪ THE DOS AND DON'TS AND LA DEE DA ♪

♪ TO ME WERE JUST A LOT OF BLAH ♪

♪ I USED MY SILVER SPOON AT BIRTH ♪

♪ FOR THROWING MEATBALLS AT MY NURSE ♪

♪ I ALWAYS CHOSE TO THUMB MY NOSE ♪

♪ AT SMARTY CLOTHES AND PARTY POSE ♪

♪ I DITCHED THE RICH IN SABLE SET ♪

♪ TO JOIN THE KITCHEN TABLE SET ♪

♪ I USED THE WRONG FORK AT THE STORK IN NEW YORK ♪

♪ MY MANNERS AIN'T FIT FOR A GOOP ♪

♪ I'M JUST A SQUARE IN THE SOCIAL CIRCLES ♪

♪ WHO PUT THAT FLY IN MY SOUP? ♪

♪ IT'D RATHER GO OUT WITH A LOUT TO A BOUT ♪

♪ THEN SLEEP IN A SYMPHONY HALL ♪

♪ I'M JUST A SQUARE IN THE SOCIAL CIRCLE ♪

♪ WHO KNOCKED MY GUM OFF THAT WALL? ♪

♪ WHEN THE UTTERLY UTTER FLOWS LIKE BUTTER ♪

♪ I WANT TO START PITCHING A CURVE ♪

♪ WITH A SILLY OLD BLIGHTER ON A FIRST-NIGHTER ♪

♪ I FEEL LIKE A PICKLED HORS D'OEUVRE ♪

♪ NO VERVE ♪

♪ I NEVER FELT GAY IN A FANCY BERET ♪

♪ I'LL WEAR A BABUSHKA OR BURST ♪

♪ I'M JUST A SQUARE IN THE SOCIAL CIRCLE ♪

♪ FINGERBOWLS IRK ME THE WORST ♪

♪ THEY JUST DON'T QUENCH MY THIRST ♪

♪ MRS. VANDERHORSE WILL GREET ME WITH A 14-KARAT SHOUT ♪

♪ "MY DEAR, YOU'VE SIMPLY GOT TO COME" ♪

♪ "TO MY DAUGHTER'S COMING OUT" ♪

♪ HER DAUGHTER IS A FRANKENSTEIN ♪

♪ A DRACULA IN MINK ♪

♪ WHEN SHE COMES OUT, EACH STAG WILL SHOUT ♪

♪ "GADZOOKS! I NEED A DRINK!" ♪

♪ I'VE DINED AND CLUBBED, I'VE ELBOW-RUBBED ♪

♪ FROM YONKERS TO CHEYENNE ♪

♪ FOO TO YOU, BUD, TAKE YOUR BLUE BLOOD ♪

♪ AND STICK IT IN YOUR FOUNTAIN PEN ♪

♪ I WANT TO BRUSH ALL THE PLUSH AND THE GUSH ♪

♪ I'D RATHER GET LEFT THAN BE RIGHT ♪

♪ I'M JUST A SQUARE IN THE SOCIAL CIRCLE ♪

♪ ANYONE HERE WANT TO FIGHT? ♪

♪ AND NONE OF ME FITS WITH THE WITS AT THE RITZ ♪

♪ I'D RATHER RELAX ON A STOOL ♪

♪ I'M JUST A SQUARE IN THE SOCIAL CIRCLE ♪

♪ ANYONE WANT TO SHOOT POOL? ♪

♪ WHEN A COOKIE WITH CABBAGE GETS TOO SAVAGE ♪

♪ I RASSLE HIM 3 OUT OF 4 ♪

♪ I WOULD RATHER A SAILOR HOP IN MY TRAILER ♪

♪ AND SHOW ME HIS NAUTICAL LORE--WHY, SURE ♪

♪ LADIES IN FRILLS ONLY FILL ME WITH CHILLS ♪

♪ THEY'RE SOFT AS A BALL OF CHENILLE ♪

♪ I'M JUST A SQUARE IN THE SOCIAL CIRCLE ♪

♪ I'VE GOT A MUSCLE OF STEEL ♪

♪ ANYONE HERE WANT TO FEEL? ♪

♪ I'M AS SQUARE AS A PEAR IN A BOUTONNIERE ♪

♪ FANCY SILKS WON'T STAY ON ♪

♪ I'M DESIGNED FOR RAYON ♪

♪ BUT I JUST DON'T SEEM TO CARE ♪

♪ I'M A SQUARE ♪

WELL, I'VE NEVER IN ALL ME LIFE SEEN THE LIKE OF IT.

[BAND LAUGHING]

WHAT'S THE VERDICT, POP?

WELL, YOU ALL FINISHED UP TOGETHER ANYHOW.

[LAUGHTER]

A COUPLE OF TIMES THERE, I THOUGHT THE MUSICIANS

WE'RE GONNA GET AWAY FROM YOU,

BUT BY GOLLY, THEY DIDN'T.

IT'S REMARKABLE.

THANKS, POP. GEE, FELLAS, YOU WERE GREAT.

I'LL SAY YOU WERE.

YOU'LL SING WITH THE BAND OR ELSE.

NO, NO, NO.

WE GOT TO KEEP PEACE IN THE FAMILY.

DANNY'S THE BOSS, AND WHAT HE SAYS GOES.

I'M DOING ALL RIGHT, BUT YOU GUYS

ARE JUST GETTING STARTED.

I WONDER, WOULD THE YOUNG MEN KNOW A SONG

I'M A LITTLE MORE FAMILIAR WITH?

WHAT'S THAT, POP?

"IN THE SHADE OF THE OLD APPLE TREE."

WE CAN FAKE IT.

FAKE IT?

WELL, HE MEANS THEY CAN MAKE IT UP AS THEY GO ALONG.

THAT'S NOT NECESSARY. THE SONG'S ALREADY WRITTEN.

[BAND LAUGHING]

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR IT, POP?

I WOULD VERY MUCH INDEED.

DO YOU KNOW THE WORDS, DARLING?

I THINK SO.

WOULD YOU MIND SINGING IT FOR ME?

SURE.

IT TAKES ME BACK TO THE TIME

WHEN I WAS COURTING EDITH.

THAT WAS THE SONG OF THE DAY THEN,

AND WE DANCED TO IT TOGETHER MANY TIMES.

OK, FELLAS, HIT IT!

OK. LET'S GO.

♪ IN THE SHADE OF THE OLD APPLE TREE ♪

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOODNESS IS THAT?

WELL, THAT'S "IN THE SHADE OF THE OLD APPLE TREE."

GLORY BE! WHAT HAPPENED TO IT?

WELL, THAT'S JIVE, POP.

OH, IS IT?

WOULD YOU MIND PLAYING IT MY WAY?

HOW'S THAT?

I'LL SHOW YOU. ONLY THIS TIME,

DON'T HIT IT.

KIND OF CARESS IT.

NOW.

[BAND PLAYING QUIETLY]

♪ IN THE SHADE OF THE OLD APPLE TREE ♪

♪ WHERE THE LOVE IN YOUR EYES I COULD SEE ♪

♪ WHEN THE VOICE THAT I HEARD ♪

♪ LIKE THE SONG OF THE BIRD ♪

♪ SEEMED TO WHISPER SWEET MUSIC TO ME ♪

♪ I COULD HEAR THE DULL BUZZ OF THE BEE ♪

♪ IN THE SHADOWS AS YOU SAID TO ME ♪

♪ WITH A HEART THAT IS TRUE ♪

♪ "I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU" ♪

♪ "IN THE SHADE OF THE OLD APPLE TREE" ♪

WHAT A TORCH HE'S CARRYING.

WHAT?

HIS WIFE LEFT HIM FOR ANOTHER GUY.

WELL, LET'S GET HIS MIND OFF HER.

TAKE THE CHORUS OF YOUR SONG AGAIN, JUDY.

1, 2!

♪ I WANT TO BRUSH ALL THE PLUSH AND THE GUSH ♪

♪ I'D RATHER GET LEFT THAN BE RIGHT ♪

♪ I'M JUST A SQUARE IN THE SOCIAL CIRCLE ♪

♪ ANYONE HERE WANT TO FIGHT? ♪

[BAND STOPS]

I'M SORRY, DANNY.

WE WERE JUST KILLING TIME TILL YOU GOT HERE.

NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. YOU SHOULD REHEARSE.

IF THE BAND WENT TO WORK, YOU'D HAVE TO.

AM I YOUR SINGER?

YOU WERE GONNA BE.

IT LOOKS LIKE ALL BETS ARE OFF, FELLAS.

THERE ISN'T A CHANCE OF US GETTING A JOB FOR TWO WEEKS.

Man: TWO WEEKS?

I--I WANT YOU GUYS TO REALIZE

THAT I APPRECIATE YOUR WILLINGNESS

TO STRING ALONG WITH ME.

HERE'S WISHING YOU A LOT OF LUCK WHEREVER YOU GO.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

[BAND MURMURING]

WAIT A MINUTE. DO YOU FELLAS BELIEVE IN THIS BAND?

SURE WE DO, JUDY, BUT WE GOT TO WORK.

WILL YOU GIVE ME 24 HOURS TO MAKE A DEAL FOR YOU?

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

QUIET. I'VE GOT A THOUGHT.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

OK, JUDY.

WONDERFUL, BUT DON'T SAY ANYTHING TO DANNY.

JUST GO NEXT DOOR AND KEEP HIM THERE TILL YOU HEAR FROM ME.

COME ON, GWEN.

WHAT'S THE DOPE?

BILLINGSLEY-- HE'S COMING HERE TO AN AUDITION.

WHEN DID YOU FIX THAT?

I HAVEN'T. I'M GOING TO.

CAN YOU?

GET ME THE STORK CLUB, PLEASE!

I CAN TRY.

HE'LL NEVER COME UP HERE FOR YOU.

NO, BUT HE WILL FOR WALTER WINCHELL.

WALTER WINCHELL?

SURE. THEY'RE PALS. BILLINGSLEY WILL DO ANYTHING HE SAYS.

GIVE ME MR. BILLINGSLEY'S OFFICE, PLEASE.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK WINCHELL'S

GONNA ASK THE BOSS UP HERE?

WAIT AND SEE.

[IMITATING WINCHELL] HELLO, SALLY!

GET ME YOUR BOSS!

HOW AM I DOING?

YOU'LL GET 20 YEARS.

HI, SHERMAN!

GET THIS! IT'S HOT OFF THE PRESS!

NO, NO, SHERMAN.

GET THE STORK CLUB OFF YOUR MIND FOR A SECOND!

I WANT YOU TO MEET ME AT THE YORK TOWERS,

APARTMENT 32-A, IN A HALF-HOUR!

YOU'RE GONNA HEAR ONE OF THE GREATEST BANDS IN THE COUNTRY!

OK. DON'T FAIL TO BE HERE!

WELL? HE'S COMING OVER.

NOW, GO NEXT DOOR AND TELL DANNY TO GET THE BOYS READY

IN THEIR TUXEDOS TO AUDITION IN 20 MINUTES.

I GOT TO CHANGE AND INSTRUCT POP WHAT TO DO

WHEN BILLINGSLEY GETS HERE. NOW, HURRY!

ARE YOU NERVOUS, YOUNG MAN?

NO, BUT I'M PUZZLED.

I CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW JUDY ARRANGED THIS.

SHE HAS A WAY WITH HER.

APPARENTLY.

MR. BILLINGSLEY? YES.

COME IN.

WHERE'S MR. WINCHELL?

HE HAD TO LEAVE, BUT HE'LL BE IN TOUCH WITH YOU.

IS THAT SO?

MR. WILTON, MR. BILLINGSLEY.

HOW ARE YOU, SON?

VERY GLAD TO MEET YOU, SIR.

WALTER WINCHELL TELLS ME YOU'VE GOT A GREAT BAND.

HE DID?

I DIDN'T KNOW HE KNEW.

ANYTIME HE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING, I WANT TO HEAR.

YEAH, BUT HE'S NEVER--

I'LL TAKE WINCHELL'S OPINION ANYTIME.

WELL, GO AHEAD. GIVE OUT WITH THE TUNES.

YES, SIR.

SIT DOWN.

THANK YOU.

OK, BOYS.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF IT?

EXCELLENT.

DO YOU REALLY?

OF COURSE I DO.

I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT.

YOU'RE ANNOYING ME.

I'M BEGINNING TO LIKE IT MESELF.

♪ IF I HAD A DOZEN HEARTS ♪

♪ AND IF YOU HAD ONLY ONE ♪

♪ IF I HAD A DOZEN HEARTS ♪

♪ YES, I WOULD ♪

♪ I WOULD LOVE YOU 12 TIMES ONE ♪

♪ IF I HAD A DOZEN LIPS ♪

♪ DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO WITHOUT YOU ♪

♪ I WOULD SAY ♪

♪ 12 TIMES A DAY ♪

♪ YOU MUST KNOW ♪

♪ DARLING, I LOVE YOU ♪

♪ IF I HAD A DOZEN ARMS ♪

♪ MORE EVERY DAY ♪

♪ THEY WOULD ALL BE HOLDING YOU ♪

♪ IF I HAD A DOZEN DREAMS ♪

♪ IN EVERY WAY ♪

♪ IN YOUR ARMS, THEY WOULD ALL COME TRUE ♪

♪ ALTHOUGH I KNOW A DOZEN HEARTS ARE FUN ♪

♪ BE WITH ME, DARLING ♪

♪ I COULDN'T LOVE YOU ♪

♪ MUCH MORE THAN I DO WITH ONE ♪

♪ 12 TIMES ONE ♪

♪ BELIEVE ME ♪

♪ I LOVE YOU ♪

SWELL BAND, MR. WILTON.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

BUT YOU, JUDY, YOU WERE GREAT,

AND I'M NOT TOO SURPRISED EITHER.

I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE TOPS,

BUT I DIDN'T THINK YOU HAD ALL THAT TALENT.

BESIDES, IT'S A TERRIFIC KICK FOR ME TO HAVE

JUDY COME THROUGH LIKE THIS.

IT JUST GOES TO PROVE YOU CAN GET SO USED

TO A PERSON DOING ONE THING

THAT YOU FAIL TO REALIZE THEY CAN DO ANYTHING ELSE.

CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THAT, MR. WILTON?

OH, SURE, SURE. I UNDERSTAND IT VERY WELL.

I'M PROUD OF YOU, JUDY.

THANK YOU, MR. BILLINGSLEY.

YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE BEST YET.

SING THE WALTZ FOR HIM, JUDY.

NOTHING DOING. NO WALTZES.

THERE'S NEVER BEEN A WALTZ PLAYED IN THE STORK CLUB.

HUH. CAN'T BE MUCH OF A PLACE.

THE STORK CLUB WAS BUILT

ON SOFT, PEPPY MUSIC,

AND IT NEVER STOPS.

THAT'S WHY I HAVE 3 ORCHESTRAS, UNDERSTAND?

OH, HE UNDERSTANDS!

GOOD. YOU OPEN TOMORROW NIGHT,

SO COME AND SEE ME IN THE MORNING, MR. WILTON.

WE'LL MAKE A DEAL AND SIGN THE CONTRACTS.

HE'LL BE THERE, MR. BILLINGSLEY!

OH, UH, AND BY THE WAY, JUDY,

I'D KNOW THAT VOICE OF YOURS ANYWHERE.

BESIDES, I WAS SITTING WITH MR. WINCHELL WHEN YOU PHONED.

GOOD NIGHT, ALL.

DANNY, WE'RE IN!

OH, DANNY, ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?

I DON'T THINK SO.

THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED, ISN'T IT?

YEAH, BUT I DON'T LIKE THE WAY I GOT IT.

WHY NOT?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT, SON?

WELL, I DON'T THINK A BAND WAS EVER ENGAGED

UNDER SUCH CIRCUMSTANCES BEFORE--

AN EXPENSIVE APARTMENT TO REHEARSE IN,

ALL THE FOOD YOU WANT TO EAT,

THE BOSS ARRIVES FOR A NICE, COZY AUDITION, AND WE'RE HIRED.

WELL, WHAT COULD BE SWEETER?

I DON'T WANT ANY PART OF IT.

NOW, LOOK, DANNY.

YOU CAN'T LET PERSONAL FEELINGS

DO US OUT OF THE BEST JOB IN TOWN.

THAT'S RIGHT, DANNY.

NO, AND I WON'T LET HIM.

I KNOW HOW DANNY FEELS,

AND MAYBE HE HAS A RIGHT TO, MAYBE HE HASN'T.

THAT'S BETWEEN US.

THESE GUYS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

YOU AND THE BAND HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER.

WE DON'T.

YOU SEE, DANNY, I CAN LEAVE WITH A CLEAR CONSCIENCE.

YOU COULDN'T.

WELL, I'VE GOT EVERYTHING I COULD ASK FOR.

SINGING WITH YOUR BAND

WOULD JUST BE AN ANTICLIMAX.

I'M THE ONE THAT'S BOWING OUT.

MAYBE THIS IS BESIDE THE POINT,

BUT IF YOU EVER REALLY FALL IN LOVE,

YOU'LL TRUST THE GIRL.

AW, GEE, HONEY, DON'T CRY.

EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT.

WHY DO GIRLS ALWAYS HAVE TO GO FOR DUMB GUYS?

MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE IT MAKES US LOOK SMART.

WELL, I AM SMART!

MAYBE I'VE BEEN ACTING LIKE I'M DUMB,

BUT I'VE GOT A BRAIN SOMEWHERE IN MY HEAD, AND I'M GONNA USE IT!

JUDY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M GONNA SEND THESE THINGS BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM.

OH, WHY?

NOBODY CAN BUY ME.

THERE'S ISN'T ENOUGH MONEY TO MAKE ME FORGET WHO I AM!

I'VE GOT CHARACTER, I HAVE!

I'M NOT SO EASILY TEMPTED.

I CAN'T BE BOUGHT BY A FEW MEASLY--

NO, SIR! I'VE GOT BRAINS!

OHH!

[INTERCOM BUZZES]

YES?

Woman: JUDY PEABODY TO SEE YOU.

OH, FINE. SEND HER IN.

WELL, GOOD MORNING, JUDY.

I'VE GOT A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU.

I DON'T WANT ANY MORE SURPRISES!

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

WE CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS, MR. BILLINGSLEY.

LIKE WHAT?

I'M IN LOVE WITH DANNY.

WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT WITH ME.

WELL, IT'S NOT WITH HIM.

YOU'RE ALL MIXED UP.

I KNOW I AM, AND I DON'T WANT TO BE.

HE'S AS JEALOUS AS--

JEALOUS?

WELL, CERTAINLY. WHO WOULDN'T BE

AFTER ALL THE THINGS YOU'VE GIVEN ME?

I'VE GIVEN YOU?

OH, SHERMAN, DON'T BE SO ANONYMOUS.

SAY, LISTEN. I'M A MARRIED MAN.

THAT'S WHY YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.

OH, I'VE GOT TO GET YOU STRAIGHTENED OUT.

NOW, GET THIS.

I NEVER GAVE YOU ANYTHING EVER.

HUH?

WHY SHOULD I? WHAT ARE YOU IN MY LIFE?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW, BUT SOMEBODY'S BEHIND THIS.

I KNOW THIS FELLA CURTIS. HE COMES TO THE STORK A LOT.

HE WON'T TALK, THOUGH.

I'VE ASKED HIM TO TELL ME.

WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT TOO MUCH, JUDY.

I'VE BEEN IN THIS TOWN FOR YEARS,

AND NOBODY EVER GIVES ANYTHING AWAY FOR LONG

WITHOUT LETTING YOU KNOW WHY.

YOU JUST SIT TIGHT. YOU'RE A CLEVER GIRL.

STICK TO YOUR SINGING. IT'S YOUR REAL FUTURE.

BUT I CAN'T SING WITH THE BAND

THE WAY THINGS ARE BETWEEN DANNY AND ME.

WELL, EITHER YOU DO, OR I DON'T WANT THE BAND.

OH, I'LL OPEN TONIGHT.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.

ATTAGIRL.

WE'LL BE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER.

I UNDERSTAND, MR. BILLINGSLEY.

NO, YOU DON'T, BUT YOU WILL.

COME IN. I WANT TO STRAIGHTEN YOU OUT, TOO.

DON'T LOSE YOUR TEMPER!

WHY NOT?

WILTON, WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, A CHUMP?

NOT EXACTLY.

THANKS. ARE YOU A CHUMP?

NO, SIR.

OH, YOU'RE SURE ABOUT YOURSELF.

THAT'S RIGHT. BUT NOT OF ME, HUH?

WELL, MR. BILLINGSLEY,

MY EYES HAVE BEEN OPENED.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE SOMEBODY TO CLOSE THEM AGAIN?

CAN'T WE SETTLE THIS LIKE GENTLEMEN?

NOW YOU'RE TALKING MY LANGUAGE.

I LIKE YOU, WILTON. I LIKE YOUR BAND, AND I LIKE JUDY.

YES, SIR.

DON'T SAY "YES, SIR" LIKE THAT.

SORRY.

COME HERE.

LOOK AT THOSE PHOTOGRAPHS.

TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT THEM.

THOSE ARE THE ONLY WOMEN IN MY LIFE.

THAT ONE'S PRETTY YOUNG, ISN'T SHE?

THAT'S MY DAUGHTER. OH.

THEY ALL ARE EXCEPT MY WIFE,

AND I'M MARRIED TO HER.

OH. I SEE.

IT'S ABOUT TIME.

WELL, I'M SORRY, MR. BILLINGSLEY.

THAT LETTER SHOULD HAVE TIPPED YOU OFF.

TOM CURTIS ISN'T MY LAWYER.

TOM CURTIS? WHAT LETTER?

OH, SHE DIDN'T SHOW YOU THE LETTER.

NO. AND I WONDER WHY.

WELL, FORGET I MENTIONED IT TO YOU.

NOW I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU TWO.

KEEP YOUR PERSONAL AFFAIRS OUT OF THE STORK CLUB.

THAT'S ALL.

YES, SIR.

WELL?

MR. BILLINGSLEY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO

IF YOU WERE IN MY SPOT?

I'D STOP BOTHERING ME.

DANNY!

WELL?

WHAT HAPPENED?

NOTHING MUCH. BILLINGSLEY'S OK.

I WAS WRONG ABOUT YOU AND HIM.

THERE. YOU SEE?

NO, I DON'T.

YOU DON'T?

IT'S GOT TO BE SOMEBODY.

OH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHO IT IS.

I TOLD YOU.

POP? CERTAINLY.

OH, HOW COULD IT BE?

WELL, HE'S A VERY RICH MAN AND A GOOD MAN.

WAIT TILL YOU MEET HIS WIFE.

HAVE YOU? NATURALLY.

WHY DO YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, DANNY?

WE'RE NEVER GONNA GET TOGETHER

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN ME.

OH, JUDY, I WISH I COULD.

OH, YOU'VE GOT TO, DANNY.

IT'S THE ONLY WAY IT'LL WORK OUT.

HI, JUDY.

OH, HELLO, MR. CORETTI.

HOW'S YOUR FRIEND POP, THE BUSBOY?

OH. HA HA HA!

OH, THAT WAS A VERY FUNNY GAG, WASN'T IT?

YEAH. HE BREAKS $32 WORTH OF DISHES,

AND SHE CALLS IT A GAG.

WHO WAS HE?

AN OLD MICK SHE BROUGHT AROUND.

HE HAD A BROGUE THAT THICK.

SOMEBODY OWES ME $32 FOR DISHES.

OH, DANNY, I CAN EXPLAIN IT.

SURE YOU CAN,

BUT BREAK IT IN ON SOMEBODY ELSE.

I WANT TO SPEAK WITH MR. CURTIS.

HE'S NOT IN YET? WHY NOT?

HE'S NOT AT HOME EITHER.

NEVER MIND WHO IT IS. I'LL CALL AGAIN.

HI, POP. WHAT GOES?

I WAS CALLING YOUR LAWYER.

MY LAWYER?

THAT MAN CURTIS. I WAS TRYING ALL MORNING.

BUT WHY?

I THOUGHT HE MIGHT SPEAK TO DANNY ON YOUR BEHALF.

WELL, THAT WOULDN'T DO ANY GOOD.

IT MIGHT.

I'LL GO TO ME ROOM AND BRUSH UP A BIT BEFORE I GO OUT.

JEALOUSY IS A TERRIBLE THING.

LOVE SHOULD BE TOLERANT

TILL TRUTH BREAKS THROUGH THE CLOUDS OF DOUBT.

GEE, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL, POP.

WHO SAID THAT?

I DID.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

I'M MRS. BATES, MRS. J.B. BATES.

YES?

ARE YOU JUDY PEABODY?

THAT'S ME.

[SOBBING]

UH, COME IN, MRS. BATES.

I KNOW NOW I'VE LOST HIM.

WELL, I'LL BE GLAD TO HELP YOU LOOK FOR HIM.

A FRIEND OF MINE IN THE BUILDING SAYS HE LIVES HERE.

WELL, A LOT OF GUYS LIVE HERE.

A LOT? HOW MANY?

OH, 12 OR 14.

YOU POOR CHILD.

WELL, WHAT INSTRUMENT DOES HE PLAY?

HE USED TO PLAY THE ZITHER.

OH, HE'S NOT WITH THESE CATS.

CATS?

WHY DON'T YOU TRY THE SALVATION ARMY?

I'M SURE MY HUSBAND WOULDN'T BE THERE.

OH, OH, I'LL BET YOU MEAN POP!

OH, HE LIVES HERE WITH ME.

YOU ADMIT IT.

OH, OH, NOW, MRS. BATES,

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT.

YOUR HUSBAND WAS DROWNING, AND I SAVED HIS LIFE,

AND I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET HIM A JOB.

HE'S DOWN AND OUT.

MR. BATES IS A RICH MAN.

HOW'S THAT AGAIN?

MR. BATES IS A VERY RICH MAN.

OH! OH, THEN HE'S THE ONE.

OH, IT'S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!

MRS. BATES, YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE YOUR HUSBAND BACK.

DON'T YOU WANT HIM?

NO, AND HE DOESN'T WANT ME.

WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ME WHO HE WAS?

HE DID. THEN HE DENIED IT.

I'M SORRY. I CAN'T FOLLOW THIS.

NEITHER CAN I.

HE'S PRACTICALLY RUINED MY LIFE.

HOW?

WELL, I GOT A BOYFRIEND.

I MEAN, I HAD A BOYFRIEND.

AND JERRY CUT HIM OUT?

OH, NO. POP LOVES YOU.

YOU'RE ALL HE EVER TALKS ABOUT.

MISS PEABODY, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I WANT TO GO TO HIM.

OH, NO, YOU DON'T. NOT ON YOUR LIFE.

OUR MEN DON'T TRUST US. WE GOT TO TEACH THEM A LESSON.

I TRIED THAT AND LOST HIM.

WELL, THIS TIME, YOU DO IT MY WAY,

AND YOU'LL GET HIM BACK.

UM, BY THE WAY, DO YOU ALWAYS DRESS LIKE THAT?

YES, I DO. WHY?

YOU MEET ME IN THE PARIS SHOP

AT LOCKE'S FIFTH AVENUE AT 2:00 THIS AFTERNOON.

WE'RE GOING TO THE STORK CLUB TONIGHT.

THE STORK CLUB? WHATEVER FOR?

YOU LEAVE THAT TO ME.

I CAN HARDLY CONTAIN MYSELF.

OH, YOU'VE GOT TO!

NOW WHEN POP COMES IN, MAKE BELIEVE YOU THINK THE WORST

AND WALK OUT ON HIM!

IS HE HERE NOW?

CERTAINLY.

TELL ME, MRS. BATES, IS YOUR SLATE CLEAN?

MY SLATE CLEAN?

YES. HE SEEMS TERRIBLY JEALOUS OF A MR. BASCOMBE.

WELL, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

CLARENCE BASCOMBE IS A HARMLESS OLD BACHELOR.

HE COURTED ME YEARS AGO,

AND JERRY CAN'T STAND THE SIGHT OF HIM.

HE'S COMING.

NOW, WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T LET ON

AND BE FIRM.

JUDY, WHERE'D YOU PUT ME--OHH!

WELL, MR. BATES, EXPLAIN YOURSELF.

NOW, EDITH, TAKE IT EASY.

ARE YOU GOING TO BELIEVE ME OR WHAT YOU SEE?

WHO COULD BELIEVE YOU, YOU SCOUNDREL,

YOU PHILANDERER, VIPER,

YOU SNAKE IN THE GRASS?

DON'T EVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

THIS IS THE END!

[DOOR SHUTS]

THE GODS HAVE DONE ME IN.

THEY WERE LAYING FOR ME. I'VE LOST HER.

WHO WAS THAT? ME WIFE.

YOUR WIFE? COULDN'T YOU TELL?

OH, WELL, RELAX, POP.

REMEMBER, LOVE SHOULD BE TOLERANT

TILL TRUTH BREAKS THROUGH THE CLOUDS OF DOUBT,

AND IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO SAID THAT, YOU DID.

THE FACT IS, I READ THAT

IN A VERY CHEAP BOOK.

TSK, TSK, TSK.

[BAND PLAYING]

♪ LOVE ME ♪

♪ AS ONLY YOU CAN LOVE ME ♪

♪ THERE'S NO ONE WHO CAN LOVE ME ♪

♪ THE WAY THAT YOU DO ♪

♪ YOUR KISS IS AS GENTLE AS THE FALLING SUMMER RAIN ♪

♪ YOUR SIGH IS THE SENTIMENTAL THEME ♪

♪ OF OUR REFRAIN ♪

♪ I WANT YOU TO THRILL ME ♪

♪ AS ONLY YOU CAN THRILL ME ♪

♪ THERE'S NO ONE WHO CAN THRILL ME ♪

♪ WHAT AM I TO DO? ♪

♪ I'M HELPLESS ♪

♪ SO I'M CONTENT TO BE THE FOOL ♪

♪ THAT YOU MAKE OF ME ♪

♪ SO LOVE ME ♪

♪ THE WAY THAT I LOVE YOU ♪

♪ THRILL ME ♪

♪ AS ONLY YOU CAN THRILL ME ♪

♪ THERE'S NO ONE WHO CAN THRILL ME ♪

♪ WHAT AM I TO DO? ♪

♪ I'M HELPLESS ♪

♪ SO I'M CONTENT TO BE THE FOOL ♪

♪ THAT YOU MAKE OF ME ♪

♪ SO LOVE ME ♪

♪ THE WAY THAT I LOVE YOU ♪

JUDY, ME HEART ISN'T IN COMING HERE TONIGHT.

OH, CHEER UP, POP. YOU'LL HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE.

MR. CORETTI, DO YOU HAVE MY RESERVATIONS?

WHAT? WHY, JUDY!

YES, MISS PEABODY. THIS WAY, PLEASE.

WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?

I NEVER FORGET A FACE.

YOU'VE LOOKED AT MINE LONG ENOUGH TO REMEMBER IT THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE IT.

YES, SIR.

[PLAYING "I'M A SQUARE IN THE SOCIAL CIRCLE"]

I JUST REMEMBERED!

SHALL I PUT THE $32 FOR THE BROKEN DISHES

ON YOUR BILL, SIR?

YES, AND ADD $5.00 FOR YOURSELF AND FORGET YOU EVER SAW ME.

IT WILL BE A PLEASURE, SIR.

'TIS MUTUAL.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO ORDER NOW, MISS PEABODY?

YES. I'LL HAVE SOME GINGER ALE, PLEASE.

AND YOU, SIR?

THE SAME WITH ABOUT 3 FINGERS OF BOURBON.

YES, SIR.

DO YOU DRINK A LOT, POP?

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU. I CAN'T GET A LOT.

GLORY BE, SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.

TAKE IT EASY, POP.

WELL, HIYA, J.B.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

ARE YOU REPRESENTING HER?

WHO'S REPRESENTING ME?

THAT'S RIGHT.

I HEARD YOU WERE CAUGHT WITH YOUR SUSPENDERS DOWN.

I'M A GONER.

EDITH, I'M AN INNOCENT MAN,

A VERY INNOCENT MAN.

YES, JERRY, SO IT APPEARS.

GOOD EVENING, YOUNG LADY.

OH, MRS. BATES, I HOPE YOU DON'T BLAME ME.

NOT AT ALL, MY DEAR.

IF IT WASN'T YOU, IT WOULD BE SOMEBODY ELSE.

NO, IT WOULDN'T.

AH. A LOVE MATCH.

I THINK I'LL SKIP THE NEXT ROUND OF THIS BATTLE.

WILL YOU EXCUSE ME, PLEASE?

GOOD RIDDANCE.

AT LEAST SHE'LL TALK TO YOU.

SHE WON'T LISTEN TO ME.

YOU'VE GOT TO GET ME OUT OF THIS.

HOW?

TELL HER THE FACTS.

SHE WON'T BELIEVE THE FACTS

ANY MORE THAN DANNY DOES.

YOU CAN TRY.

OK.

YOU WERE GREAT. YOU'VE GOT HIM ON THE HOOK.

HE'S REALLY SQUIRMING.

I DON'T THINK I'LL BE ABLE TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS, JUDY.

YOU'VE GOT TO. IF YOU NAIL HIM DOWN RIGHT THIS TIME,

HE'S YOURS FOR LIFE.

SHE SAYS SHE'S GOING TO DIVORCE YOU

AND MARRY SOMEBODY WHO APPRECIATES HER.

SHE CAN'T. I'LL FIGHT IT.

I'LL TAKE IT TO THE SUPREME COURT.

TELL HER THAT.

YOU'RE OUT IN FRONT BY 20 LENGTHS.

DON'T CARRY IT TOO FAR.

LEAVE IT TO ME.

WELL? I THINK YOU GOT A CHANCE.

WE HAVE? IT'S GONNA BE TOUGH, THOUGH.

I DON'T DESERVE HER.

FIRST YOU GOT TO PROMISE TO COUNT TO 10

BEFORE LOSING YOUR TEMPER.

I'VE ALWAYS DONE THAT!

YEAH? WELL, MAKE IT 20.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

NEXT, YOU CAN NEVER TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF

IN THE LIVING ROOM.

A MAN CAN'T LIVE UNDER THOSE CONDITIONS.

WILL YOU OR WON'T YOU?

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

AND-- AW, THERE'S MORE!

YOU MUST PROMISE NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES

TO BE JEALOUS OF CLARENCE BASCOMBE.

BASCOMBE? AH, I SEE IT ALL NOW.

SHE'D TIE ME HANDS BEHIND ME BACK

FOR THE REST OF ME LIFE, WOULD SHE?

OH, NO! NOT IF I KNOW HER, SHE WON'T.

OH, IT'S VERY SLICK OF YOU,

VERY SLICK OF YOU INDEED, MRS. BATES.

YOU AND YOUR STIPULATIONS,

AND ME AGREEING TO THEM.

NOW, CALM YOURSELF, POP.

NO, NO, JUDY. THIS GOES DEEPER

THAN YOUR INNOCENT EYES CAN SEE.

BUT, JERRY--

DON'T JERRY ME!

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO PULL THE WOOL OVER ME EYES

AS YOU DID IN THE PAST.

THAT ISN'T TRUE!

AND I'M GOING OUT OF HERE.

NO, YOU'RE NOT, NOT TILL YOU PAY THE CHECK.

THEY'RE VERY FUNNY ABOUT THAT IN HERE.

SOMEBODY BRING ME THE CHECK.

IF YOU LEAVE HERE, JERRY BATES,

YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN.

THAT'S WHAT I HAD IN MIND.

I'M ASHAMED OF YOU, POP.

WELL, I--

SLIP THIS TO DANNY, WILL YOU?

THAT OUGHT TO GET HIM.

BRING ME THE CHECK. I'M NOT GONNA WAIT HERE ANY LONGER.

POP, ARE YOU REALLY LEAVING?

OF COURSE I AM.

YOU'LL BE SORRY SOMEDAY.

WELL, IF I AM, I'LL BE GLAD OF IT.

THIS IS FROM ONE OF YOUR FANS.

THANKS.

HEY, FELLAS, THE BOSS WANTS TO HEAR "OLD APPLE TREE."

WE'LL FAKE IT IN "G" RIGHT AFTER THIS CHORUS.

AND IT WAS A LOT DIFFERENT, TOO, WASN'T IT, POP?

OH, I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN,

EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO--

40 YEARS.

YOU TOLD ME ABOUT IT YOURSELF.

IT BROUGHT TEARS TO YOUR EYES WHEN YOU DID.

LOOK AT HER, POP.

ISN'T SHE BEAUTIFUL?

JUST THINK WHAT SHE WAS THEN.

WHY, EVERY BOY ON THE BLOCK HOPED SHE'D LOOK HIS WAY,

BUT SHE ONLY HAD EYES FOR ONE,

A YOUNG, WILD IRISHMAN.

HE HAD A RIGHT TO BE JEALOUS.

IT WAS SWEET TILL IT GOT STUPID.

IN 1905, HE WAS ROMANTIC,

WHERE THEY DANCED TO THE SAME SONG THEY'RE PLAYING NOW,

BUT I GUESS THAT'S THE TROUBLE.

HE JUST ISN'T ROMANTIC ANYMORE.

OH, BUT HE IS.

EDITH, WILL YOU DANCE WITH ME ONCE AGAIN

TO THE TUNE OF OUR SONG?

I'D BE PLEASED TO, JERRY, IF--

I KNOW IT. I'LL SAY I'M SORRY.

WELL, I AM, AND IT COMES

FROM THE BOTTOM OF ME HEART.

WELL, I'M GLAD THAT'S PATCHED UP.

YES. ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?

CORETTI, IS THAT A WALTZ?

YOU'VE BEEN IN VIENNA. IS IT?

I'M HERE AT STORK CLUB SO LONG,

I CAN'T REMEMBER.

NO. IT COULDN'T BE A WALTZ.

THEY WOULDN'T DARE.

NO, SIR.

THAT'S A WALTZ, ISN'T IT?

YES, SIR. WHAT'S THE I--

WELL, THERE'S NOTHING LIKE

A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED WALTZ.

BY THE WAY, TOM CURTIS,

THAT FELLA WE WERE DISCUSSING,

IS AT THE TABLE NEXT TO JUDY'S.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET HIM?

NO, THANKS.

HERE, TOM. TAKE OVER.

DO ME A FAVOR, WILL YOU, GWEN?

SURE. WHAT?

GO AND TELL THAT GUY CURTIS

HE'S WANTED ON THE PHONE IN THE FIRST BOOTH.

OK, DANNY.

MR. CURTIS, YOU'RE WANTED ON THE TELEPHONE IN THE FIRST BOOTH.

THANK YOU. WILL YOU EXCUSE ME?

YES.

OH, I'M SORRY.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT. COME IN.

MR. CURTIS, I'M DANNY WILTON.

HOW DO YOU DO?

IT'S RATHER CLOSE IN HERE, ISN'T IT?

I LIKE IT THAT WAY.

WELL, IT'S MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE OUT AT THE BAR.

UH-HUH, BUT BILLINGSLEY'S GOT A RULE--

ANYONE WHO FIGHTS IN THE STORK CLUB IS BARRED FOR LIFE.

I KIND OF WISH I'D BEEN BARRED YESTERDAY.

LOOK, MR. CURTIS. SOME TIME AGO,

I WAS IN A CAVE ABOUT THIS SIZE WITH A JAP.

AS YOU CAN GATHER, I'M HERE TO TELL THE TALE.

UH, AHEM. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE JAP?

UNH!

I KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO DOUBLE OVER AT THIS POINT,

BUT THERE REALLY ISN'T ROOM.

LISTEN, CURTIS. THERE'S ONLY ONE THING I WANT FROM YOU.

WELL, I HOPE I'VE GOT IT.

I WANT THE TRUTH ABOUT THAT LETTER

YOU WROTE TO JUDY PEABODY

AND EVERYTHING THAT'S BEHIND IT.

OH, IS THAT ALL?

THAT'S VERY SIMPLE.

MISS PEABODY SAVED MR. BATES FROM DROWNING.

HE WANTED TO REWARD HER AND STILL REMAIN ANONYMOUS.

IT'S ALL VERY INNOCENT, I ASSURE YOU.

OH. WELL, THANKS, MR. CURTIS. THAT'S GREAT.

SAY, CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK?

YES, YOU CAN UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE SUED

WITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR LIFE.

BUT, JUDY DEAR, YOU'VE GIVEN ALL YOUR TIME TO US.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT YOUR YOUNG MAN?

I'M JUST GOING TO TELL HIM THE TRUTH.

JUDY, YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

YOU'VE ALREADY TOLD HIM THE TRUTH, AND HE DOESN'T BELIEVE IT.

POP, WHAT CAN I DO?

TELL HIM ANOTHER LIE.

WHAT LIE? I HAVEN'T WORKED ANYTHING OUT.

I'VE SEE YOU AT WORK, AND I HAVE EVERY CONFIDENCE IN YOUR ABILITY.

ALL RIGHT, BUT YOU'VE GOT TO BACK ME UP.

WE'LL DO THAT IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE.

WHILE EDITH AND I WERE DANCING,

WE TALKED ABOUT A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU.

OH, DANNY.

YOU KNOW MR. AND MRS. BATES.

HOW DO YOU DO?

DANNY, I HAVE TO SING WITH THE BAND,

OR MR. BILLINGSLEY'S GOING TO LET US ALL GO.

THAT'S HIS PRIVILEGE.

I WON'T TILL YOU BELIEVE IN ME,

AND I KNOW YOU WON'T LET ME TILL YOU KNOW THE TRUTH.

THAT'S RIGHT.

WELL, DANNY, YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR IT RIGHT NOW.

I'M LISTENING.

IT--IT STARTED MANY, MANY YEARS AGO IN 1849, WASN'T IT, POP?

YEAH. YEAH. '49. THAT'S RIGHT. IN THE SUMMER.

IT WAS THE YEAR OF THE GOLD RUSH.

YEAH, I SAW THE PICTURE.

HOW'D YOU LIKE CHARLIE IN IT?

STICK TO THE SUBJECT.

WELL, YOU SEE, IT STARTED THE DAY

I SAVED POP FROM DROWNING.

THAT'S WHEN HE FIRST DISCOVERED WHO I WAS.

I HAVE A STRAWBERRY MARK ON MY LEFT THIGH,

AND MY BATHING SUIT DOESN'T COVER IT.

POP NOTICED IT. YOU'LL SEE IT SOMEDAY.

WELL, POP CASUALLY MENTIONED THAT HIS FATHER

KNEW A MAN IN ALASKA WITH THE VERY SAME MARKING.

THEY SHARED A CLAIM IN THE BIG YELLOW TAIL MINE.

INTERESTING?

VERY. VERY.

I MEAN, THE WAY JUDY TELLS IT.

I KNOW THE STORY WELL,

BUT I NEVER GET TIRED OF HEARING HER RELATE IT.

GO AHEAD, JUDY.

THANKS. WELL, RIGHT ABOUT HERE,

I THINK I OUGHT TO MENTION MY GRANDFATHER'S MAP.

OH, A VERY GOOD-LOOKING MAN HE WAS, TOO.

THE MAP WITH A MINE.

YES, YES. PARDON THE INTRUSION.

WELL, MY GRANDFATHER WAS LOST IN THE BLIZZARD OF '51,

AND POP AND HIS FATHER HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR ME EVERY SINCE.

POP CHANGED HIS NAME TO BUTLER WHILE SEARCHING FOR ME.

WELL, OF COURSE NOW YOU'RE VERY RICH.

NO. AND THIS IS THE PART YOU WON'T BELIEVE.

THE MAN THAT POP'S FATHER THOUGHT WAS MY GRANDFATHER

TURNED OUT TO BE NO RELATION OF MINE AT ALL.

WELL, HOW DID YOU FIND THAT OUT?

MY GRANDMOTHER TOLD ME!

WELL, NOW THAT MAKES SENSE.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?

I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D BELIEVE IT.

OH, JUDY, YOU UNDERESTIMATE ME.

YOU SEE, I DO BELIEVE IN YOU.

NOW DOESN'T THAT MAKE YOU ELIGIBLE

TO SING WITH THE BAND?

HURRY BACK. YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE SURPRISE.

♪ IF I HAD A DOZEN HEARTS ♪

♪ AND IF YOU HAD ONLY ONE ♪

WHAT A LIAR.

♪ IF I HAD A DOZEN HEARTS ♪

♪ I WOULD LOVE YOU 12 TIMES ONE ♪

YELLOWTAIL MINE.

♪ IF I HAD A DOZEN LIPS ♪

♪ I WOULD SAY ♪

GRANDFATHER'S MAP.

♪ 12 TIMES A DAY ♪

STRAWBERRY MARK.

♪ DARLING, I LOVE YOU ♪

WELL, SEEING IS BELIEVING.

♪ IF I HAD A DOZEN ARMS ♪

♪ THEY WOULD ALL BE HOLDING YOU ♪

BUT I FORGIVE YOU.

♪ IF I HAD A DOZEN DREAMS ♪

♪ IN YOUR ARMS, THEY WOULD ALL COME TRUE ♪

KNOW WHY? ♪ ALTHOUGH ♪

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. ♪ I KNOW ♪

♪ A DOZEN HEARTS ARE FUN ♪

♪ I COULDN'T LOVE YOU ♪

♪ MUCH MORE THAN I DO WITH ONE ♪

[APPLAUSE]

I LOVE YOU, PIE FACE.

I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU OVER WITH POP.

OK, SWEETIE.

THAT WAS LOVELY, JUDY.

THANKS. WELL, POP, WHAT'S THE BIG SURPRISE?

JUDY, YOU SAVED ME TWICE, WHEN I MET YOU AND TONIGHT.

I CAN'T REPAY YOU, BUT I HAVE AN IDEA.

I'VE DISCUSSED IT WITH EDITH,

AND WE HOPE YOU'LL BE PLEASED

THAT I'M GOING TO MENTION YOU IN MY WILL.

OH, NO, THAT'S OUT, POP.

NOT THAT I DON'T APPRECIATE THE THOUGHT AND ALL,

BUT, OH, I DON'T KNOW,

I DON'T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO GET ALONG WITH MONEY.

MY HAPPINESS WILL COME WITH DANNY,

SINGING WITH THE BAND

ON THOSE ONE-NIGHT STANDS.

BAD HOTELS, BAD FOOD,

BUT WE'LL BE TOGETHER.

WE'LL BE RIDING ON CLOUD 9 JUST OUTSIDE OF HEAVEN.

I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN, AND I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.

TWO YOUNG KIDS IN LOVE MIGHT GET ALL MIXED UP

WITH A MILLION IN THE BANK.

A MILLION?!

KEEP TALKING, POP.

MAYBE YOU CAN CHANGE MY MIND.

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