Original subtitles

[roaring]

[screams]

Wilma, it's me, Fred.

Wake up, Wilma. There's nothin' to be scared about.

Oh, Wilma.

Oh, excuse me, Wilma, I didn't know you had company.

I'll be back later.

[screams]

(Betty) 'Get your hands off her, you monster!'

- 'Get out! Out!' - Wilma, help! Help!

Hold it, Betty. That's Fred's voice.

Huh? Fred?

(Betty) 'It is Fred.'

[theme music]

[honking]

[blows whistle]

[siren wailing]

[blows whistle]

(director) 'It's a great script, Mr. Sandstone.'

'We're ready to shoot our new low-budget'

one-day quickie horror movie.

Ahem, yes, yes.

And what a title, "The Monster From The Tar Pits."

(Sandstone) 'Ahem, yes, yes.'

And what a plot.

The monster comes from the tar pits

and falls in love with a beautiful girl.

In a month, everybody will steal it.

Good, good. Uh, who's in it?

- Gary Granite. - 'Uh-huh.'

- Rock Pile. - 'Yeah.'

- And a new girl. - Yes? What's her name?

Wednesday Tuesday. Or is it Tuesday Wednesday?

- I can't remember. - Okay, get it rolling.

And if it's not better than your last picture

turn in your sports car.

- One thing, Mr. Sandstone. - 'Yes, what is it?'

- May I call you Sandy? - No.

'Very well, Mr. Sandstone.'

Oh, one more little thing.

We'll have to build a town set.

Build a town set? Why, our budget won't stand for that.

What'll we do? We need a town.

Use a real town.

That way, we get the buildings for free

and we can use the townspeople as extras.

'You know, they eat that stuff up, anyway.'

Say, that is great. That is large thinking, sir.

- Very, very large. - Ha ha ha. Well, thank you.

It's nothing, nothing at all.

But w-what town, sir?

What town? Why, that's easy.

Now, there's the whole flat world as we know it.

We'll pick out a town.

Now, let's see.

[humming]

We'll take this one. Which one is it?

Uh, it-it says "Bedrock."

That's a town?

Bedrock.

It sounds so basic, solid, down-to-earth. Ha-ha-ha.

Alright, now get going, my boy.

- And bring me back a picture. - Yes, sir.

One quickie, low-budget picture made in Bedrock coming up.

Wash day.

If there's anything I hate

more than anything else in the whole world

it's doing the laundry.

[chugging]

She hates doing the laundry? She.

(woman on radio) 'We interrupt this program'

'to bring you a flash from Hollyrock.'

'Miracle Pictures is going to use'

'our town of Bedrock'

'for the locale of their next picture.'

'And get this.'

'Auditions are going to be held'

'and some of our very own citizens'

'may be used in the picture'

'which will star Gary Granite.'

Gary Granite?

(woman on radio) 'Appearing with him'

'will be Rock Pile'

'and that new, exciting starlet'

'Wednesday Tuesday.'

'Or is it Tuesday Wednesday?'

Gary Granite.

Oh, my. Oh, me.

Betty. Oh, Betty. Quick.

I heard it, Wilma.

Imagine, Gary Granite, right here in Bedrock.

(Wilma) 'And Rock Pile, too.'

Yeah, a-a-and what's her name, Thursday Friday.

- You mean Wednesday Tuesday. - Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, she's so cute.

And they're going to use the people of Bedrock as extras.

Why don't we go down and audition, just for fun?

Yeah, we-we'll call ourselves "The no-talent sisters."

Ha-ha. At least you can do swell bird calls.

And you can wow them with that soft-shoe bit

you do every New Year's Eve.

- 'Is it a deal?' - Okay, Wilma.

I'll ask Barney when he comes home.

And I'll ask Fred.

And I know what he's gonna say.

"No!"

But I don't care.

Gary Granite!

[gasps]

Can you imagine?

Well, here we are, Fred.

Thanks, Barney-boy. I'll see you after dinner.

After a tough day like today, I am ready for my nourishment.

Ho-ho, me, too. I hope Betty has dinner ready.

I'm coming up the walk, Wilma.

Start puttin' the food on the plate.

I'm comin' through the door.

And I'm one of the hungry ones tonight.

Wilma, where's my dinner?

Wilma.

Hey, Wilma.

It's me. Fred.

- Oh, hello, Fred. - Boy, did you have me worried.

I thought for a minute I'd have to fix my own dinner.

How can you even think of food at a time like this

when they're going to make a picture right here in town.

- Make a picture? - 'Yes.'

And get this. With Gary Granite.

Gary Granite. Who's he?

He is a big movie star.

And if you didn't happen to spend all your spare time

in a bowling alley, you'd know who he is.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I happen to know who you are.

You are my wife and you are supposed to have

dinner ready for me when I get home

Gary Granite or no Gary Granite.

What has Gary Granite got that I haven't got?

I can tell you what. His dinner, that's what.

Droll, very droll.

Ha ha ha ha.

I'm surprised at you, Wilma

fallin' for all that mushy stuff.

The trouble with you, Fred

is that you have no romance in your soul.

You're wrong there, Wilma, wrong again.

I'll tell you my trouble.

I've got no food in my stomach.

And I'm going out to get some

while you look through your movie magazines.

If I run into Gary Cobblestone, or whatever his name is

I'll give him your regards.

Oh, that Fred.

He didn't even give me a chance to ask him about the audition.

You mean they're gonna make a movie right here in Bedrock?

That's right. Isn't that thrilling?

And, and they're gonna use the people here for extras?

Uh-huh. Wilma and I thought we'd go down to the audition.

Um, if-if-if it's okay with you and Fred, that is.

Oh, it's okay with me, Betty.

Oh, thanks, Barney.

'You're the sweetest.'

Keep sayin' it. I like it.

I'll call Wilma

and tell her I can make it.

(Fred) 'Hey, Barney.'

Oh, oh, hello, Fred. Hey, did you hear the big news?

Yeah, I heard it. I heard it.

Uh, I'm on my way down to Rocky's Cafe

to get a bite to eat.

- Do you wanna join me? - Oh, yeah, sure, sure.

Betty was so excited, she forgot to make dinner.

And then Fred stomped out of the house

before I even had a chance to ask him.

Gee, that's a shame.

Barney said it was okay for me to try.

Well, I didn't get a chance to ask Fred

so he didn't get a chance to say no.

So I'll take a chance and go with you tomorrow.

[giggles]

Delicious.

Give me brontosaurus ribs every time, Barney.

I could eat a carload of them.

Me, I'll take a pterodactyl drumstick every time, Fred.

[chuckles] Lo-o-o-o-ve these drumsticks.

[both chuckle]

Hey, how about shooting a game of billiards

before we go home, Barney-boy?

Lead on, Freddie-boy, lead on.

[gulps] I'm with you.

You know something, Barney?

'I just can't understand some people.'

Just because some movie company is arriving tomorrow

'they get all excited.'

'Movie being made here. Big deal.'

Ridiculous, isn't it, the way people act?

Oh, I don't know, Fred.

A lot of people will get a bang out of it.

Yeah, a lot of people, maybe

but not the sophisticated types like us.

Uh, the plane with the movie crowd

arrives at 6 o'clock tomorrow morning.

(Fred) 'You say 6 o'clock?'

Oh, and I bet the place will be mobbed with--

Sure, with a lot of numbskulls.

Six o'clock, huh?

Oh, boy, not even the birds are up yet.

Oh, um, Fred, I, uh, I just remembered something.

I'm, uh, I'm kind of tired.

Uh, I ought to get to bed early.

'Hey, do you mind if we go home now?'

Not at all, Barney.

Kind of feel like hitting the sack myself.

I'm kind of beat.

[yawning]

Attention. Special movie flight now arriving at gate..

Hey, Stanley, what gate did you say?

(Stanley) 'Gate four.'

Arriving at gate four.

No autographs, please.

Here they come!

(all) Hurray!

(male #1) 'Here comes Wednesday Tuesday.'

[whistles]

[crowd cheering]

(female #1) 'Woo-hoo, Jerry.'

(male #2) 'Hey, Rock!'

Hey, hurray!

Hey, Tuesday Wednesday, what're you doing Saturday?

[laughs] Uh-oh.

Hey, Fred, what're you doing down here?

Oh, boy.

Uh, I just came down to see how many numbskulls would show up.

[chuckles] It looks like one more numbskull showed up than I expected.

Uh-oh, hey, there's Betty and Wilma.

- Gary! Yoo-hoo! - That Rocky, he is a doll.

Let's beat it before they see us.

Oh, yeah, we're supposed to be working.

- Wasn't that exciting, Betty? - Oh, I'll say.

- You know what I did? - 'What?'

I touched Rock Pile when he went by.

- 'You did?' - Uh-huh.

I'm not gonna wash this hand for a week.

[both chuckles]

That'll be something to tell your grandchildren.

L-let's go down and audition before all the jobs are gone.

All they can do is throw us out.

[Betty and Wilma laughing]

There they go. Come on, Barney, I'll drive you to work.

- Hey, hey, Fred, I got an idea. - 'Like what?'

Let's take the day off and go down and watch the auditions.

Well, you're the last guy I ever thought

would go for that celebrity stuff.

I've got to face it, Fred. I get a kick out of it.

Don't you get it, Barney?

It's just a publicity gag and people fall for it.

Wowie!

Look at all the people lined up at the casting door.

(Fred) 'See what I mean, Barney? Numbskulls.'

'Makes me want to turn in my running pants'

'and get out of the human race.'

Oh, come on in, Fred.

We can watch the human race

make numbskulls out of themselves.

Nothing doing. I'm going to work and I'm late now.

[harmonica music]

Alright. Alright.

First harmonica picture we make, we'll send for you.

- I play the kazoo, too. - That's fine.

First kazoo picture we make, you're in.

You don't expect to find any talent in this crowd, do you?

It creates goodwill, Gary. And who knows?

No one ever heard of you till you won

that cotton-picking chicken plucking contest upstate.

Alright. Next.

Too bad, but hula hoops have had it.

'Okay, that's it.'

'The first hoop picture we make, we'll call you.'

You're next, Betty. Good luck.

I don't need luck. I need talent.

Hey, it's Betty.

[imitating bird chirping]

Hey, that's the blue-bellied kingfisher's mating call.

I suppose if I was a blue-bellied kingfisher

I'd appreciate it more.

And now, the yellow-throated oriole.

Hold it. Hold it. I got the idea.

The very next bird picture is yours.

Hi, Betty. Your bird bit was great.

Thanks, Barney but you know

it laid a big, fat, speckled egg.

What're you doing down here?

Oh, uh, just nosey, I guess.

[chuckles] Me, too.

[chuckles]

Look, Barney, Wilma's on.

♪ Ra-pa-ti-ta-pa-ti -ta-pa-ti-tum ♪

♪ Ra-pa-ti-ta-pa-ti -ta-pa-ti-tum ♪

♪ Ra-pa-ti-ta-pa-ti -ta-pa-ti-tum ♪♪

Okay. Okay. Stop the music. That's all.

Thank you, miss. The first--

Musical you make, you'll call me.

You were only great, Wilma.

Oh, the only thing great was that he called me miss.

I'd better get home and start dinner.

I feel guilty.

We're all having the fun and Fred is working.

(Barney) 'Oh, he's too sophisticated for this stuff, anyhow.'

[Barney laughs]

But, Gary, where is your pride?

You know the budget won't stand for a double.

Then I've got a new thing going, you see.

I'm taking pride in staying healthy.

But, Gary, where can I get a double for you?

That's your business. Mine is staying alive.

Uh, excuse me, sir.

Sorry, no more auditions.

Now, Gary, like, listen to reason.

I knew all that ring-a-ding you were giving these people

around here was a lot of hooey.

Only a numbskull without an ounce of brains

would fall for that guff.

Say, did you ever think of being an actor?

- Who, me? - 'Sure. You'd be perfect.'

- Who, me? - 'Right.'

You're big, you're strong

and I'll tell you what we'll do.

We'll divide the lead between you and Gary Granite.

T-t-the lead?

I'm worried about Granite.

He's been up a long time. He's sleeping.

- But-but am I good enough? - Good enough?

You know what I'm going to let you do?

- No, what? - All the hard stuff.

Let him do all the easy stuff.

You, my new star, will steal the picture.

Wow. Wowie! Wow-wow-wow, woo!

Wait till Wilma hears about this.

- I'll do it. - Good. It's the title role.

Here's your costume. It's just like Gary's.

- The title role? - 'Yes.'

"The Monster from the Tar Pits." You are the monster.

- I am? - Sure.

You're breaking in at the top.

You don't have to worry about lines.

Just practice growling and roaring.

Like this?

[roaring]

Good. Good. Go home. Go home.

[Fred growling]

Come back tomorrow afternoon.

[roaring continues]

Keep practicing.

[growling]

Well, that's your double, Gary.

Man, no wonder they call you the genius of the quickies.

Maybe when I get back, he'll let me call him Sandy.

Maybe Fred's right.

You can be silly about this celebrity stuff.

I should be more mature about it, like Fred is.

[door bell rings]

That must be Betty. She said she'd be over.

Come in, Betty. The door's open.

[roars]

[screams]

Wilma. It's me, Fred.

Wake up, Wilma. There's nothing to be scared about.

Oh, Wilma.

Oh, excuse me, Wilma. I didn't know you had company.

I'll be back later.

[screams]

(Betty) 'Get your hands off her, you monster!'

'Get out! Out!'

Wilma, help! Help!

Hey, hey, Wilma, help!

Hold it, Betty. That's Fred's voice.

Huh? Fred?

'It is Fred.'

Fred Flintstone, what's the idea

of pulling a stunt like that?

And what're you doing in that messy old suit?

This, uh, messy old suit, as you call it

means that Gary Granite is on the way out

and I am on the way up.

I'm doing all the hard stuff

'your hero Gary Granite can't do.'

You mean you're doubling for Gary Granite?

Oh, boy, there's a woman for you, gets it all backwards.

"You mean you're doubling for Gary Granite?"

Not, "Fred, you're gonna be a movie star."

Oh, no.

Barney's home. He's coming over.

(Fred) 'Hey, don't let him in yet.'

I'll put on my monster head and scare him.

(Barney) 'Hey, anybody home?'

Okay, Wilma, let him in.

Come in, Barney.

(Barney) 'Oh, hi, Betty. Hi, Wilma.'

(Wilma) 'Hello, Barney.'

[roars]

Oh, hiya, Fred.

Hey, you, you going trick-or-treating tonight?

No, I am not going trick-or-treating tonight.

And if you will excuse me, I must practice my lines.

I must be ready when Granite cracks. Ha ha!

[Fred growling]

What's the matter, he sick or something?

Hey, hey, what's this all about?

Fred's doing all the hard stuff in the picture

Gary Granite can't do.

Oh, you mean he's doubling for him?

Did it occur to any of you

that doubling might also be interpreted

as replacing Gary Granite?

Hmm?

- 'Fred.' - 'What is it?'

'Don't sit down on anything in that sticky suit.'

[roars]

That's right, Betty. He just left, costume and all.

Mmm, well, let's face it

he's the only one who got a part.

Are-are you going down to watch?

No. He said, "No visitors allowed on the set."

[chuckles]

[growling]

Oh, boy.

I gotta stop eating in those cheap restaurants.

Quiet, everybody! We're ready to roll.

Now, Gary, in this scene, you are climbing the cliff

and at the top is Rock Pile with the girl you love.

But you are having a little trouble

because Rock Pile is dropping boulders on your head.

- You're kidding. - No, I'm not.

- Prop man. - 'Yeah?'

- Did you get the fake boulders? - Are you kidding?

- Do you know what they cost? - Never mind.

We'll use real ones.

Mr. Flintstone.

[growls] Yes, Mr. Director.

- I think Granite has had it. - Good. Good.

[growls]

Are you ready to move in?

Just give me the chance, that's all.

Give me the chance.

[growls]

Good. Roll 'em. Action!

Okay, Gary.

Cut. Okay, Flintstone.

Chicken.

(Director) 'Roll 'em.'

'Action!'

[thud]

(Director) 'Cut!'

'Wonderful.'

Now, this is how the scene works.

You, the monster, are trying to carry off the girl.

'But you are having a little trouble'

'because Rock Pile keeps hitting you on the head with his club.'

- With a c-club? - Did anyone get a padded club?

Are you kidding? Do you know what padded clubs cost?

Okay, we'll use a real one.

Quiet!

Roll 'em!

'Action!'

Cut! Print it! Wonderful.

Wonderful. You are only great.

And now, here's the ending of the picture

which is also only great.

By the way, did the writer write an ending?

You're joking. Do you know what a writer costs?

Never mind. We'll ad-lib an ending.

Now, get this.

You're sick and tired of chasing the girl.

You know now you're never going to get her.

I don't know why. I've been getting everything else.

(Director) 'So, we see you walking towards the tar pits.'

'Back, back to the tar pits'

'from whence you originated.'

By the way, have you any insurance?

(Fred) 'A little.'

Roll 'em!

Put on the monster head.

Good. Now start walking.

'Walking into the sunset.'

'Back to your home, the tar pit.'

'You are sad.'

Oh, boy!

(director) 'You look back, dejected. You wave goodbye.'

'Good, good. Now, you keep walking and you keep waving.'

'Walking, waving. Walking, waving.'

'A little more feeling.'

Great. Great. Cut.

Wrap it up!

You were wonderful, Gary. Wonderful.

I know. They'll love me in this.

Let's go, everybody. Everything into the trucks.

We got the preview tomorrow.

I hope Sandy, I mean, Mr. Sandstone, likes it.

Fred? Oh, Fred?

Huh? Fred? Hey, Fred.

[gasping]

Did I do good? Did I?

Barney, w-what're you doing here?

Well, you didn't show up for dinner, and Wilma got worried.

Wh-wh-where is everybody?

Everybody and everything left for Hollyrock

half an hour ago.

You mean, I've been holding my breath for over half an hour?

Yeah, and just don't hold your breath

till you replace Gary Granite, either.

Yeah, I know. I know something else, too.

I've been a chump.

A great big, fat, C-H-U-M-P.

Dope.

So forget it.

You had a lot of fun

and you found out that being in pictures

is a lot of hard work and not all glitter and glamor.

Yeah. I was never right for the part, anyway.

I'm not the monster type.

Well, I wouldn't say that.

Hey, what did you do with the monster suit?

I threw it in the trash.

You had tar on every chair in the house.

(woman on radio) 'Good evening.'

'We bring you another flash from Hollyrock.'

'The picture filmed in Bedrock yesterday'

'was premiered this afternoon'

'and was a smash hit.'

'Miracle Pictures plans to return tomorrow'

'to shoot the sequel'

'"The Son of the Monster from the Tar Pits."'

'A heartwarming story'

'of a monster and his dog.'

Well, how about that?

They're coming back. He-he-he.

Well, this time we all won't go running down, that's for sure..

Fred? Fred?

Wilma, where'd you throw that monster suit?

I've got to find it. I should be a shoo-in for the part.

Oh, no.

(Fred) 'Here it is. Never mind dinner, Wilma.'

I'm gonna be busy practicing my lines.

[growling]

Let's face it.

There's a little ham in every husband.

[growling]

[theme music]

[yawning]

Wilma!

Wilma!

Come on, Wilma, open this door!

Wilma!