Original subtitles

Why it's you again

I don't want

I don't want these

Let go of me

I beg you to let me go

and go look at other girls

I beg you not to like me, please

I am a child I don't have that much need

I can't rely on the pile of gold and silver of yours

Your love will only will give me trouble

I beg you not to love me, please

You need your career more than me

I don't have a heart and I don't get old

You will give me lines of wrinkles on my whole face

I beg you not to love me, please

I am afraid that I will suffer if you leave some day

So let's end this love before it even starts

That's better to you and to me

I beg you not to love me please

I am a child I don't have that much need

I can't rely on the pile of gold and silver that you have

Your love will only brings me trouble

I beg you not to love me please

Your career needs your time more

I don't have a heart and I don't get old

You will give me a full face of wrinkles

Good to be single

Good to be single

Good to be single

I know, when not getting any attention from the emperor, Consorts

Like the fallen flower petals

When others are fighting to be the most beautiful,

Such consorts can only be the mud and dirt on the ground

However, the consorts that are being adored by the emperor

will easily become everyone else's targets

When they "luckily" get pregnant by the emperor, they still have to be aware of conspiracies and false accusations,

living in horror

However, when it comes to keeping other concubines from getting pregnant

No one can be as sofisticated as I am

I am really talented at conspiring and scheming

So, God should grant me a child!

I am really not satisfied

Why all this time I have been waiting and waiting

Still not getting pregnant

smell so bad, smell too bad

sister Lv Liu, why do you smell so bad?

YOU smell bad

Lv liu

Madam

What's that smell? it stinks

Ohhhh

Dead rats, dead rats

Don't be afraid. The rats are still alive

They just passed out

Hurry! Take them outside, Hurry Hurry!

How can it smell this horrible

I will not drink it

Madam, There's an old saying.

"Good medicine always smelly and bitter"

"Whoever can take it will be the winner"

suck it up and drink it, your dream will come true

Doctor Xue also said

This medicine smells bad for women,

But when men smell it...

attractive!!

really?

For real?

How can Doctor Xue be wrong?

As long as you drink it 3 times a day

for one month

Madam, you must try as hard as you can with the emperor within this month

What if there is no chance?

Drink another month

take this

ok

For getting pregnant, I chow it down

So small

blow a bigger one, how come so small

make a few more

look at you

Meng, Meng

Greetings to Noble Consort Ru

Who am i running into?

It's you people!

Still stand here?

How dare you to be in my sight of view and not run away?

Don't make my good day bad. You don't want to tick me off.

still standing here?

Madam

Please not let them ruin your day

The Emperor is about to return to Mansion ChangJi

OK, Done with you all, let's go

Uh...

Who farted?

You guys are so gross

Consort Ru just left a few seconds ago,

and you guys can't wait to use farting to express your resentment toward her?

What's wrong with you all's IQ

that's smell surely came from Consort Ru

She smells like rotted eggs

I can't stand it. I gotta go You guys don't have the right sense of smell

that's surely the smell of stinky tofu

I have tasted some in the past

Obviously, Consort Ru likes the way stinky tofu tastes too. I bet, that's the smell

OK, OK, Let's hurry up and get out of here

It smells so bad. feeling dizzy.

Pretty authentic

Where did she buy it from?

Welcome, Noble Consort Ru

Let me tell His Highness

wait

Wu Wei Yong

what do you think of this odor?

it smells a little strange

fine

You can now go in and tell Him I am here to see him

Yes ma'am

Your Highness, Noble Consort Ru is here

No No

I have a bunch of books yet to finish reading

Tell her to go away

Yes

Madam, the Emperor still didn't see you?

Shut up

He is just too busy. He doesn't have time to see me yet

Once he has time, he will see me right away

yes yes yes yes, certainly

These flowers are so beautiful

There are pink ones

Smell so good

So pretty

Greetings to Noble Consort Ru

OK

Thanks, Noble Consort

Noble Consort, See all the flowers bloomed and they smell so good

Can you all smell that?

What smell is that?

It smells like it's from there

What smell? Where? I don't smell it

Flower fragrance everywhere

hurry! hold on to me

I held my breath... almost passed out

I found out, I found out

Exhausting, nosy me!

What, hurry up, tell us

That smell... really came from Consort Ru

Is she ill, Can she be cured?

You care about Consort Ru so much, huh?

um.. What I mean is... It will be wonderful if there is no cure

It's so obvious already

No need to ask anyone

Have you not noticed? There is not even a single bird willing to rest on the roof of her Yu Quan mansion

3 times a day, stinky smoke comes out

Dead rats were taken out by buckets

strange

What's going on?

That Consort Ru

She has been a lab rat lately.

Her servent Lv Liu got some pregnancy medicine from Doctor Xue outside the Palace

Consort Ru takes it 3 times a day

Doctor Xue?

He started off selling fake medicine, somehow became famous

after being famous, he used the money to promote himself, and get himself off the once bad reputation

Lately, he's been doing what he did before

Saying "It's not about money. The medicine is very hard to get."

But stupid people have this similarity

When hearing "very hard to get", everyone fights for it

So now you are saying Consort Ru smells terrible for nothing?

Poor her

Should we go tell her the truth?

Are you sick, or dumb?

No No No No

what I meant was

Consort Ru's face will look so funny,

once she realizes that a thousand-year fox like her can be deceived that easily,

Your Highness, sorry

Who... Who was that made you so angry?

Tell me, tell your servant, I will do something for you

If you can help me calm down that will be great

Today, the Senior advisor Ru TaiShi "advised" me again.

Telling me not to ignore his daughter Consort Ru

He wants to intervene in what I do with my own consorts

ridiculous!

Your Highness

No matter what, don't get angry over this

Ru Taishi, first, he just worries about his daughter

He can't interfere with your life.

second, Consort Ru has come here so many times

Every time she is here, she made you some soup with sincerity

Really?

Yes

So, I have really been ignoring her?

You haven't seen her once...

OK

Today, I will go to her Mansion YuQuan to see her

You make arrangement

I will follow your order

Emperor arriving

Who?

The Emperor?

Madam, You heard that right. It's the Emperor,

He is coming to see me for real?

Madam, Go! Go!

take this away, take this away

Your Highness

You come here to see me finally

Noble Consort

You have been living in the Palace for quite some time

Your Highness, 1923 days

5 years 3 months and 8 days

Noble Consort, Can we talk normally?

I am not a gum tree. You are not a Koala. Please don't hug me too tight

No, I am...

Don't open your mouth

Your Highness, what's wrong with you?

Are you moved by my affection?

I see the teardrops

Consort

Burn incense and take bath more frequently.

I suddenly thought of something important to do

Glad to see that you are alright. I feel so relieved.

I gotta go now.

Why do you do that, your Highness...

Madam, don't give up

You, low class servant, what kind of medicine you got me?

It's useless

and stunk him away

How could I get pregnant?

Madam, don't be angry, don't be angry

I am giving you the last chance

Think other method

If i still don't get pregnant

your life won't be spared

Go prepare the water, I need to take a bath right now.

Yes, yes

Madam, Madam, Your servant is back

what?

no problem

Your servant has found you a famous fengshui master this time, Master Yang

Master Yang?

the one that uses Fengshui and geography to change people from poor to rich?

Yang JiuPin, Master Yang?

It's him

Is he not a master of Fengshui and geography?

When did he start to expertise on pregnancy too?

the Master said

The direction of this room is facing

also its interior design

also the birth date and time of everyone here

will have something to do with your pregnancy

Based on these criteria,

he wrote a book overnight

As long as you do everything says on the book,

you should have no problem getting pregnant

does it work?

I have found out

there is a widow in Shi Li Bao Village

She didn't believe what Master Yang said

To destroy his reputation,

she decided to follow the book step by step

in front of everyone in the Village

Guess what happened next?

what?

She got pregnant the next day!

Doctor Xue checked her pulse

She was found pregnant!

She cried and cried and blamed herself for not trusting Master Yang at first

She lost her reputation

Great!

I am not saying that it''s great that the widow got pregnant

I am saying Master Yang's book is great!

Lv Liu, Do you know how long I have waited this day to come?

1923 days, 5 years 3 months 8 days

yes, wait till I get pregnant

I will be most powerful among all the consorts.

the mother of the prince

Congratulations, congratulations! Madam

Madam, your luck is coming

Yes, let's study this book

Look it says, the tea table can't be put there

see that?

Consort, I have things to do today

Don't say it.

Smell me. do i smell good tonight?

I am not here to smell you tonight.

But in the Fanghua Mansion.....

Don't say it. This beautiful moment, please don't talk about dead rats

You came here

You belong to me, only me, tonight

Nothing else needed mentioned

Your Highness, after drinking the tea

the cup has to put back to its original position

That's good for the Fengshui settings

hahaha

If you really want to touch my hand

don't touch my right hand

Please touch my left hand, the second knuckle of the ring finger

that way

It's better for our Fengshui setup

"She's sick in the head again"

Your Highness, according to the book

when you sit down, the direction that you are facing is very important

also when you stand up

let's do this, let's face east

So, what if the east side is a wall?

Then, let's stare at the wall together

uh... Facing the wall? That feels like a repenting practice

Alright, I will talk to you next time. I got things to do, bye

Please don't leave

How wide you make your steps matters too.

Listen, please, Your Highness

Madam

You low class servant

What the book says is completely garbage Madam, don't be angry

Please give me another chance

I will find another solution

Ok

I give you the final chance

If you still mess up,

I will skin you alive.

yes yes

yes Madam

"Sneeze"

Sister Meng, Are you alright?

Are you sick?

Do you need me to call in a royal doctor for you?

No need

Royal doctors are the emperor's people. They are all in the same pack

Now, I still don't understand the Emperor's personality

I am afraid to die. He is messing with me

I'd rather die than give in to him. He is still messing with me

Drink more water. Drink hot water

Meng

You are too weak

Look at Sister Xiao, go out exercise so early

Never stop, any weather conditions

Why do you show up here again? you are not invited.

You make me want to stab you with a knife.

Yes, You think you can just come here whenever you want?

What are you doing with that fan, acting cool?

No. Madams, Can you guys stop saying things to hurt me?

This is the latest fashion

look..... here

""Energy Calmed Spirit Rested"

what it says fit my temperament perfectly

You are thinking too much

OK. Let's get started

Come on, Madams. Let me check your pulse for you

Leave me alone, Leave

What now? you don't trust me?

Look, I, Doctor Liu JinYan, have a face of creditability

No, you must be a bad guy sent from the Emperor

specialized in messing with me

Madam Meng, I am really not

Come, Let's check your pulse, please

OK OK OK OK

Even though I was sent here by the Emperor. Can you just make my task easier

Greetings

OK

So, in your heart. I am a kind of guy that's so unforgiving, who likes to mess with people below him?

I sent Doctor to check your health

It looks like my good heart has been thrown to the ground stomped on, split into pieces

Why are you still standing there. Let the Doctor check your pulse

I told you. shoulda work with me

Oh my god

what are you yelling for, terminal disease?

Congratulations! pregnant pulse!

What? What are you talking about?

Highness, I am just joking here since it feels too quiet here

Liu JinYan. You

You are a dead body

You are so hateful, hateful

Doctor Liu, with the way you behave,

Have you ever had any dispute issue with other patients in the palace?

Not really

It's happening now

Madam Meng, only little under the weather.

Let your servant come to my place to pick up some medicine

That

Highness, Madams. Excuse me

Wu GongGong, I am leaving

haha, No.you learned that from me

dude

Consort Meng

Take care

I can see, the emperor cares about you so much

I am a little jealous

Are you guys alright?

What he just said was like saying "watch out for oncoming traffic when you cross the road from now on"

same hidden meaning

that's a new form of curse

You can't figure that out? brain dead?

out of my way

Ma'am

Madam

this time I followed your order

Now i am here to bring you a good news

What good news. You see you have messed up some much already

Go kill yourself

This time sure will work

Madam

Sai YuHuan has come back to publicity

Are you saying that chubby girl?

chubby but talented,

She was able to seduce all the guys around her

and get them to do anything she wanted

Sai YuHuan? Yeah, Yap

But I heard that she was a prostitute

So she shouldn't have anything to do

In the area of pregnancy and conception, right?

Madam, you don't understand

This Sai YuHuan.

She is the best woman endorsed by Doctor Xue and Master Yang

She is talented at "Seduction technique"

You see, even though she is not very attractive,

she still can conquer every powerful man in the world

That's all because of her "seduction tactics"

This comeback

is to benefit all women with husbands

She has opened a "seduction crash course"

teaches wives how to keep their husbands

Husband keeping?

It's from outside to inside

from appearance to heart

all directions

think about it. If you can keep a husband

after a while

having a child will not be a problem

Madam

You see the previous 2 tactics we used

Other people tried them, they worked

How come they did not work out for you?

It's because

everything was set up perfectly on your side

but, not the emperor's side

I think what you said made good sense

Of course

I waited in line for a whole day

finally signed up for the course

and learned everything in the course

As long as you want me to

I will tell you everything I learned

Good, Let's do it

Yes Yes, dance like this

Sister Wan Wan, I suddenly realized, the style of your dance resembles that of Sai YuHuan

Yes Yes Yes

but not much, about 30%

Who's Sai YuHuan

So you are praising me?

hahaha, You don't know Sai YuHuan

Sister Meng will tell you about her

Because living in the Palace, I personally knew Sai Yuhuan

One day, she was wearing a backpack

going to a beauty pageant

then...

being famous?

No way Despite in today's society

this kind of pageant is very popular

It's very common too to find few incompetent judges out there

In that pageant, Sai YuHuan's performance was mediocre

She got the second lowest place

Then, who was the lowest?

Sai DiaoChan, haha

She did not attend the finals because of diaherrha

So, how could she became famous being in the second lowest place in the pageant?

Then we we have to mention the mess up atmosphere in our society

all judges turned her down

but unfortunately, the investors of the pageant is into chubby girls

She was taken back as soon as she got off the stage

They bought her pretty purses, dressed her up, advertised her

I bet you have heard of the names of 2 of the investors

The first one was the infamous Doctor Xue

The other one was "the king of plagiarism" Master Yang

oh my god, 2 people?

Yes, Sai Yuhuan was packaged as a performer

specialized in dancing

so many people watched her performance

but

all the watchers were actors too. They were paid off to watch her perform

that's how she got her publicity

advertising!

After she got her fame, she started to do charity works

like carrying old ladies crossing traffic

feeding the widow, orphans....

saying "giving back to society"

White wash! yup

I also heard that she recently opened a training course without a proper license

specialized in teaching housewives "seductive techniques"

I am thinking

a lot of stupid people will be fooled by her

So you are talking me down, then, talking me down, huh?

no, i am not, i am praising you

Anyone making you a star?

no one

See?

Highness

Consort, why are you dressing like this

Oh, Highness, don't say that

What else can I do for you?

You know clearly what's in your heart

know what clearly?

Certainly, dance for you, Highness

Dance? sure sure. You dance, go ahead

Do you like my beautiful dancing style?

very beautiful

very beautiful

but what you just did

did it not hurt your back?

not at all

I also want to drink with you.

ok.ok

sorry, i didn't control it right

it was not for me? why did you drink it yourself?

one more time

ops, how come I couldn't hold it in my mouth?

one more time

very last time

what the heck?

Highness, it's getting dark. Please stay

You. Don't tell me what to do, ok?

I don't dare

But your servant just wants the best for you

That way

Senior advisor Ru will have nothing to complain about

Madam, wake up, Ma'am

what?

Madam, you got it!

Really?

Really

I passed out last night

You think I succeeded?

Really, Really. The emperor left this morning

He left with 2 black eyes

For real? great! I am so happy

You are not entirely useless. You did not disappoint me this time

haha, great great!

Lv Liu, give me another bowl of rice

I have been eating a lot lately, don't know why

Madam, you are eating more

Also, your tummy is getting bigger by days

Really?

For real

Your face is getting plump too

Madam, are you ok?

Nothing

I will get the royal doctor for you

no, don't go

why?

Stupid. What if I didn't get pregnant? I will be so disappointed.

I don't want to see the doctor now, so I can stay in this joyful hope

So, Madam, you want to keep it secret?

What secret? When it should happen it will happen

If I don't admit anything in person

Let them guess

Let them be jealous without any warnings

Madam is so smart!

Madam, eat more

huh

Come, I am teaching you words today

write it

What's this

Mouth

yes

this one? mouth odor

this is one word, "Chi" eat

eat, eat, eat. you like to eat the most, right?

big news, big news

That woman who's been rubbing her tiny tummy all day long

walking in the imperial garden. She is pregnant. I heard

Really? Consort Ru made it first?

But why not tell everyone officially

Look at the way she wants to keep her pregnancy secret,

She is afraid that people may do bad things to her

You know, they keep record on what date and who sleeps with the emperor each night

That night, the emperor was in YuQuan Mansion

He read books all night long. He did not sleep her.

But... she is pregnant!

That's even more interesting

Like the story of "Liu Bei visited Mao Lu 3 times to invite ZhuGe Liang"

the Emperor visited Noble Consort Ru 3 times

but somehow, Noble Consort Ru turned into a "Virgin Mary"

If that can get Consort Ru pregnant

then, nothing is impossible

I have a question

Who is "Virgin Mary"?

A woman

So what you meant is

2 possibilities

One: She is just getting chubby

She purposely wants people to think that she is pregnant

2: If the vomiting, acid re-flux symptoms were real,

She could have been faking her pregnant

fake pregnancy??

Have you guys heard that?

Noble Consort Ru got pregnant

For real?

Greetings to Noble Consort Ru

Ok

Consort Ru, take it slow

Consort Ru, do you have any good news for us?

Don't be spreading rumors. I have not said anything yet.

We all understand why Noble Consort Ru handle this good news this way

huh

After all, we all should be aware of the tricky and shady people around us.

Take well precaution is always the right thing to do

Yes, yes

I want to sit down for a moment

Wait. wait. Let cushion up the chair

Consort Ru. Put more cushions on the chair

Now you are the most precious lady in the Palace

comfy?

Can you see that. Nobody else can challenge her...

good acting skill

but why is she doing that?

Maybe she just want to enjoy the moment

the delusion of being the center of attention

After all, She still get attention from these women by their false assumption

That's one strange phenomenon in the field of pregnancy!

Let's go, can't watch them anymore

Highness

Alright

Greetings to your Highness OK

Greetings to Noble Consort

Why did you call me in in such a hurry

it's because....

I heard that you have not been feeling well recently

Senior Adviser Ru wants me to ask you how you feel, have a sit

Thanks for your concerns

You seem lil chubbier

hah, don't say that that's because that night

not only i get chubbier, but also, vomit....

craving for sour and spicy food, how come?

You should know that...

Are you thinking that you might have gotten pregnant?

How can that be possible? which night?

the night that you came to my Mansion YuQuan and stayed overnight....

That night, you were drunk and fell asleep

I read books all night there

I did not do anything, remember?

If it worries you, Doctor Liu is here, check your pulse

then you will know yes

hurry hurry hurry

Noble Consort

I am the expert of pregnancy pulse reading

I can detect your pregnancy, in day one

Hand please

a blink of an eye. Result guaranteed

No need, your Highness

How could I not tell if i was pregnant or not

I was just joking with you

If nothing else,

I am leaving

Take it slow

You low life servant

He read books the whole night that night

how dare you lie to me? mislead me?

You just made a fool out of me!

Madam, I didn't do that on purpose

what now?

the Emperor finally had to do something, it looks like

Call the doctor

Cure this woman flirtatious disease with the most scientific method

You have a big mouth

You secretly reported to the Emperor, didn't you? I despise you!

I did not. I did not report anything to anyone

that's better. I don't despise you then

But, I used a letter pigeon to send a little slip of note only, haha

You can relief as long as I, "Doctor Liu JinYan" , am here

Tell me the truth, though. That night, did you...

Take a guess

Sorry, I will leave now. haha