Original subtitles

♪ Ooh, Jane, unforgettable, Jane ♪

♪ You've got that fabulous smile that money can't buy ♪

♪ Ooh, Jane, so kissable, Jane

♪ You make the whole world worthwhile with a wink of an eye ♪

♪ Why, Jane, you may be unoriginal, Jane ♪

♪ But you've been inspirational ♪

♪ Jane, Jane, Jane

♪ I know that since I've seen you, Jane ♪

♪ I feel I'm 17 again

♪ Wonderful Jane

- Three days he's been gone.

I don't like it one bit.

- Shh.

- Tell, tell Churchill I've found the Lost City.

It's....

- Where, Scott?

Where is the Lost City?

It's no good.

- I say, Rashleigh, have you seen this fantastic...

Oh, dash.

- Prost!

- Prost!

- Shit!

Tell Churchill I've...

, what is that?

- Beautiful.

Do you realize, Dr. Schell, that such a diamond

could only have come from one place.

- Yes, indeed, Fraulein Pagola.

That is why I contacted the authorities

immediately I returned.

- Ah, so you must have known that this diamond

could only have come from the Lost City, correct?

- Well, I thought it possible, yes.

But you see, my orders were--

- Orders?

I give the orders.

Once Herr Toifel has interrogated your prisoner

you will return to Africa with us.

- Interrogate?

That isn't, uh, I'm afraid that will not be possible.

- Not possible?

Why?

- When we docked in Lisbon, the prisoner,

unfortunately, he escaped.

- What?

Who is responsible, you?

- Me?

No, him, Herr Muller!

- Me?

- It's not fair!

A whole week and I haven't tortured anyone!

I was so looking forward--

- Stop whining, Heinrich.

Tell me what you found about those

two Englishmen that were killed.

- Both of them, agents.

And I understand British intelligence

are about to call in the Colonel.

- What, him again?

Those diamonds are worth millions.

If the British get hold of them...

The Colonel must be removed immediately!

- For once I have anticipated you, Lola.

A message has been sent to my brother Herman in London.

Eliminate the Colonel and Jane.

- Ah, yeah, Jane.

We mustn't forget her.

- Indeed, no.

- All clear, Fritz, you can come out now.

Good, we'll be just in time.

Fritz, where are you?

Now how did you get in there?

Keep still, Fritz.

Stop moving about.

- Ah, good evening, Jane.

- Oh, good evening, Colonel.

Been admiring the view?

- Always find it fascinating.

You know, the ships, coming and going,

loading and unloading.

Still, come along, mustn't be late.

This is a very important briefing we're going to, Jane.

- What's it all about?

- Can't tell you.

All I know is it's top secret

and it could alter the whole course of the war.

Fine, I'll lead the way.

- Uh, just a moment, sir.

- Wonder what happened to those poor devils.

- If you ask me, sir, you're going on board

what was commonly known as a plague ship.

- Rubbish, ha!

Do you think so?

- Colonel!

- Well, one thing's for certain,

you can't go to the meeting looking like that.

Tombs.

- Thank you, Tombs.

You're a gentleman.

- No, no, Miss, a servant is not allowed to be a gentleman.

- Tombs.

- Why don't I wait in the car, sir?

- You better wait in the car, Tombs.

- Yes sir, I shall wait in the car, sir.

What a good idea, sir.

- Come along, Jane.

- Evening, sir.

Thank you, sir.

General Smythe-Paget is below, sir.

- Well, you can spare the time, Captain,

perhaps you care to show us the way?

- Oh, yes, please, follow me.

- Oh, do be careful, Miss.

- Oh, right.

Fritz?

What's happened to Fritz?

- Drowned, with any luck.

Fritz?

Oh, there you are you stupid dog!

- And what do you know about this Lost City?

- Um, which one, sir?

- Eh?

Oh, the one in Africa where this race

of warriors built their city.

- Which no one has as yet found?

- That's the place.

Well, as you know, legend has it that hidden

in that Lost City is a fabulous hoard

of diamonds worth hundreds of millions.

- Of course, being born in Africa

you're probably familiar with the legend, Colonel.

How this weird sect of Leopard Warriors

came over from India in the 14th Century

and they proceeded to build this enormous city

in the jungle.

- Dammit, Fawcett, the man does not want a history lesson,

he knows all about the place!

- Oh, quite.

- Well, to cut a long story short,

sent three chaps in, two killed,

but now have evidence that these diamonds do exist.

- We need those diamonds, Colonel.

This great nation of ours is hard pressed,

and alas the weapons of war, which we urgently need

to stem the tide of Nazi aggression

will have to be paid for.

They do not come cheap.

- How can I help, Mr. Prime Minister?

- Oh, quite simple.

You and you're charming assistant will go to Africa,

you will find the diamonds, and you will persuade

the Leopard Warriors to allow us to keep them.

Ooh, it's getting damn chilly in here.

Would you please close the porthole, my dear?

- Right, sir.

- You, uh, did someone say two

of our chaps were killed looking for this place, sir?

- Third chap captured by the Germans.

Luckily he escaped and came back here.

You may have seen him as he left the ship.

Poor fellow had the devil of a time.

Completely lost his grip.

- Not entirely.

- Yes, I believe I did notice him.

- Take off 0700 hours tomorrow morning,

and landing here, airstrip near Abu Abu.

- By simple process of deduction,

the Lost City must be somewhere there.

- I see.

- I'm sorry to have to tell you, Colonel,

but I'm afraid the Nazis are onto this.

Their war machine needs diamonds just as much as we do.

It is imperative that they do not fall into their hands!

- Trust me, sir, this country will have those diamonds.

- Good man.

Well, my dear, the lights may have gone out all over Europe,

but I'm sure that you will shortly illuminate

the Dark Continent.

- I couldn't believe it.

To meet Mr. Churchill of all people,

and to be dressed like this.

I must go.

Perhaps we'll meet again, Charles.

- I do hope so, Jane.

- Oh well, anchors aweigh.

Still, no harm done.

Wake up, Tombs!

You sure you packed the salt tablets?

- Yes sir.

- Water purifier?

- It's there, sir.

- Hmm.

Ah, what about my collapsible camp bed?

- It's there as well, sir.

- Are you absolutely sure?

- I can see it from over here, sir.

- Oh, he's bound to have forgotten something.

- Money, money, money, money.

Money, money, money.

- Out of my way, pig.

- Heinrich, stabbing that piece of wood

will not bring your brother back to life.

- I know, I know.

But just to throw his body into the river.

They never even bothered to torture him.

He would have liked that.

Herman enjoyed pain.

- He's dead, forget it.

- But he was my favorite brother.

Never once did he blame me for what I did

to his foot when we were children.

- I said, forget it.

Lola!

- Carl!

Carl, darling, it's been a long time.

- Berlin, 1936.

You are as beautiful as ever.

I see you are still smoking those awful Egyptian cigarettes.

- But, of course.

I like to live dangerously, darling.

So, you got my cable then?

- Abu Abu.

That place is a hell hole, an old trading post.

There's nothing there but an old broken down--

- Nevermind what it's like, can you get us there?

- Is this coming with us?

- Yeah, gentlemen, this is Carl Donner.

And please be nice to Heinrich,

otherwise he'll put a knife in your back.

- So, why Abu Abu?

- You've heard of the Lost City?

- And the diamonds?

Who hasn't?

- Dr. Schell, here, is going to find them for us.

Aren't you, Doctor?

- Well, well, I think I have a good idea.

- From looking at books?

Listen, Lola, I am the greatest hunter in Africa.

I will find that lost city for you.

- And how are you going to do that, big man?

- Simple.

First I will find a witch doctor and ask questions.

If he does not answer me I shall strangle him,

then I shall find another witch doctor.

Soon, somebody will tell.

Good, when do we start?

- Everything is arranged.

You will be in Abu Abu tomorrow.

- Splendid.

I knew I could count on you.

You do everything so perfectly.

- There is one thing I should warn you about, Lola.

The landing strip at Abu Abu is nothing

but a flattened piece of dirt.

However, not to worry, I am used to landing in such places.

- I trust you completely, Carl.

Oh, yeah, there is one thing you should know.

The British are also after these diamonds.

- Oh no, they're not, Lola.

I have taken care of them.

- How?

- My brother Herman was a very good assassin,

but my little brother, Hans, he is the best.

An artist, a master.

If Jane and the Colonel are not dead already,

they will be very soon.

Forget about them.

- I didn't know you were born in Africa, Colonel.

- Yes, mother was out there at the same time.

- How long did you live there.

- Oh, must have been--

- Six months.

- Is that all?

- Yes, well, Africa gets into the blood

pretty quickly, you know.

We should be there soon.

Ah, be landing shortly, will we?

- Oh yes, Colonel, you will be landing in one minute.

- Ah.

Excuse.

Tell me, Colonel, can you fly a plane?

Afraid not.

- Can anyone here fly a plane?

Good.

I dedicate this beautiful moment to the Fuhrer

and to my beloved brother, Herman.

Adios, dummkopfs.

Heil Hitler.

- My God, he's taken the last parachute!

- Oh no, he hasn't, Colonel.

He's taken your camp bed.

- Wait a minute, if he's the pilot, who's flying the plane?

It's out of control!

Oh, blimey!

Hang on, Jane, just coming.

Colonel, you've got to do something!

- Like what?

- Well, where are the brakes?

There's not even a steering wheel.

I think I'm getting the hang of this.

- What about the wheels?

- Good thinking, Tombs.

Must be one of these damn things.

- Colonel, what have you done?

- What, I, um.

He's only switched the bloody engines off,

hasn't he?

Look, there's land ahead!

I hope we can make it.

- We're losing height too fast.

Be full of sharks down there.

- Oh, shut up, Tombs.

- It's no good, we're going to ditch.

Hold on!

Shall I lay out your bathing costume, sir?

- We made it!

- Good Lord, did we swim that far?

Incredible!

- It certainly is.

I can't swim.

- Well, what do we do now?

- Make for Abu Abu.

As I remember from the map, it's not too far from the coast.

- Just how far, Colonel.

- About, um, about that much.

- Hadn't we better make a start?

It'll be dark soon.

- Right.

- Right, come on, Fritz.

Now then, which way, Colonel?

- That way.

- You're right, Carl, Abu Abu is a hell hole.

- Yes, but soon you will smell

the clean fresh air of the jungle.

My jungle.

- Why are you crying, Heinrich?

- I'm weeping for my brother, Hans.

- That is Hans?

- Ya.

- He's not very big.

- Nor would you be if you'd been thrown out

of a plane at 10,000 feet.

- How do you know that?

- He was a witness to it all.

Those English swines, they strapped him to the camp bed

and just threw him out!

- So, the Colonel and Jane are still alive.

- But the plane was out of control, it would have crashed.

- I wonder.

- If you ask me, we're lost.

- No one is asking you.

And don't go falling asleep, you're on watch.

- You know, Colonel, all day I've had

the strong feeling we were being followed.

Ah, imagination can play

devilish tricks like that.

- Pity we haven't seen anyone, though.

- Ah well, it's late you see.

They probably go to bed early.

Not to worry, Jane, tomorrow we'll meet up

with some friendly natives, they'll show us the way.

It will all seem better in the morning.

- Colonel, it is morning and it isn't any better.

- If you ask me, that lot doesn't look too friendly.

- Hey, that's quite enough of that.

- Careful Jane, don't annoy them.

- Magumbo!

Magumbo!

Magumbo!

10 moons ago, you promised District Officer

take no more slaves.

You lied.

Anybody else?

Pick him up and go.

My name's Buck, Jack Buck.

Most people call me Jungle Jack.

- Me Jane.

Ooh, that is a big one.

- You ain't seen nothing yet, baby.

Shh.

- What is it. - I thought I heard a snake.

- Where? - Shh.

About 400 yards ahead, listen.

It's okay, it's only a lizard.

- I didn't hear a thing, just silence.

- Jane, Africa's never silent.

Look, all you have to do is close those pretty eyes

of yours and listen, really listen.

Go ahead, try it.

- I heard it, all around us.

- Yes, it's my Africa.

- Didn't hear a damn thing.

How much further to your camp, Jack.

- It's only another four miles, Colonel.

There's one thing you haven't told me.

What happened to your pilot after you ditched?

- What?

Oh yes, the pilot.

- Uh, it was Miss Jane who was,

you see, flying the plane, sir.

- A lady aviator?

Well, I'll be darned!

Well you really are something, Jane.

Come on, darling.

- Look, I know he seems a decent enough chap,

but we are on a secret mission.

The less he knows the better.

Come on, Colonel!

- Did you tell Jane that mum's the word?

- Yes sir.

- Good.

First class brandy.

I'll say this chap certainly

knows how to look after himself.

- Hmm, well, he's one of them Americans, isn't he?

Still, if you ask me, it ain't natural.

What isn't?

- The way I see it is if the white man

was meant to go traipsing all over Africa,

he'd have been born black.

- Rubbish, what about Gordon of Khartoum,

Doctor, um, Doctor Livingston, all those fellows.

- They're dead, ain't they?

It's the heat that kills them, you know.

Thins the blood.

- Shut up!

Drink your beer.

- Yeah, I guess it was Hemingway.

Oh sure, I read Rice Burroughs and Rider Haggard as a kid,

but that Hemingway.

To feel the cool wind of the night

and smell the smell of Africa.

Ah, he knew exactly what he was talking about.

And then , like that it all happened.

One day my daddy called me into his office

and said, son, you ain't ready come

into the airplane business yet.

First, you got a lot of living to do.

So he writes me a check and he said go see the world,

then come back and take over.

- So you came straight to Africa?

- Yeah, that was about three years ago.

Look, that's enough about me.

Jane.

- Yes, Jack?

- I think there's something you ought to know.

I was always come right to the point,

straight from the shoulder.

Now about you and this Colonel,

are you, you two, uh, what I mean is.

Let me put it to you this way--

- I work with him, I'm his assistant.

- Oh God, that sure is one hell of a relief.

What are you doing way out here?

- Ah, well, that's rather a secret.

- Ah, come on now, you can tell me.

- Well, oh well, if you must know it's, uh,

well, it's big game hunting.

- What?

- Oh, yes, the Colonel's a crack shot.

- Wait a minute, Jane, what are you saying here?

Britain is at war!

That great little county of yours has got her back

against the wall, what the hell you doing out here?

You ought to be out there fightin' them damn Nazis,

not out here killin' innocent animals!

What kind of people are you?

- Oh Jack, it's not like you think.

There are reasons.

- Yeah, sure, bunch of cowards.

One thing I can't stand is a coward, man or woman!

- Calm down, Jack!

- Like hell I will!

I should have let Magumbo keep you

and eat you right down to the damn bone!

- Well, to tell you the truth,

I think the time has come to tell you the truth.

- The Lost City, billions of diamonds, Nazi agents?

Colonel, sir, you must think I was born yesterday.

- For the umpteenth time, it's true!

And keep your voice down.

We don't want the whole world to know.

- Jack, why do you think we're here?

- I'll get all of you to Abu Abu,

and then you're on your own.

Shh.

- What's wrong?

- We're coming into the territory of the Water Warriors.

- Is that bad?

- Very bad.

- I don't think I like the way he said that.

- We don't know much about them except they are killers.

Okay, everybody, just keep your eyes peeled.

- Jack.

- Yes, Jane? - I thought you'd like to know

there's a crocodile right behind us.

- Oh hell, Jane, I'm trying to start the engine.

Why do you bother me with stupid things like that?

You should be looking out for the Water Warriors.

- Sorry.

Go away!

- Oh my God.

- Yeah, I guess that is a Water Warrior.

It's alright, Mr. Tombs, just a lone scout.

- I've got news for you.

Some of his mates have come out to play.

- I suggest you get that outboard going.

- I'm doing my best.

Oh come on, baby, come on, talk to me!

Come on, baby, come on!

- I suppose you have switched the fuel tap on?

- Don't be stupid, of course I've switched, oh.

- The river divides, which way?

- Take a left up here, it's a shortcut.

- They've given up.

- Strange that they should all give up so easily.

- The question is, why?

- I think I've got the answer.

- Oh damn, I knew I forgot something.

- Don't tell me, you took the shortcut?

- So.

- Doctor, I say we should head west!

- With respect, I think that is

the wrong direction, Herr Donner.

- They are here.

- Who?

- The Colonel and Jane.

So much for their plane crashing.

- They should both be dead!

They will be dead.

I will kill them, Lola.

You must let me kill them,

the honor of my family's at stake!

I owe it to the memory of my two dead brothers.

- Quiet, you idiot!

- Lola, he'll bungle it just the same way his brothers did.

Let me handle it.

Come along, Tombs.

- Quiet!

Well, here we are, my dear.

I'm in three, you're in four.

- The first thing I need's a good hot shower.

- Well, I intend getting my head down.

- Ah, that is a good idea, sir.

- Not you, Tombs.

Miss Jane needs some decent clothing.

There's bound to be a dress shop around somewhere.

- A dress shop in a dump like Abu Abu?

- Oh, anything would do, Tombs.

Just so long as it's clean and dry.

- Well, I'll see what I can do, Miss.

- Thank you.

I better give you my measurements.

- No need, Miss.

Your statistics is indelibly imprinted on my memory.

Well, don't stand there smirking, man,

get on with it.

- Perfect, they don't even realize we are here

so they will not be on their guard.

We can eliminate these British once and for all.

- Good!

First, I will kill that swine of a Colonel, and then--

- No!

You will take care of the Colonel quietly with your hands.

- You don't think I can do it?

- You will take care of the girl.

- What?

But I want to kill both of them!

- No!

- Very well.

I will just kill the girl, but beautifully.

- Dr. Schell.

- Me?

- You will make sure that the servant Tombs

is kept out of the way.

- How will I do that?

- Talk to him, buy him a drink, anything.

- Oh, so I don't have to kill him?

- You, you couldn't kill time.

Right, the Colonel is in room three, and the girl in four.

You both know what to do.

I will take care of the other one.

- To your health, sir.

You are a true gentleman.

You're right about women, though.

They may look as if butter would melt in their mouths,

but you can't trust them.

Dogs you can trust, horses you can trust, but not women.

- With a lion, you know exactly where you are.

- True, true.

Did I tell you about the grizzly?

- Hmm?

- Ah, a fearsome creature is the grizzly.

Was up in Canada, I was, prospecting for gold in '21,

or was it '22?

Ah, no matter.

- Aren't you ready yet?

- Don't you understand?

I have to enjoy it.

I am an artist, I have to savor every moment.

Just get with it!

- You peasant!

- What did you say?

- Nothing, nothing.

I am ready.

- Good, just go, and don't you change your mind.

- Excuse, is anyone sitting here?

- I don't think so.

- Would you care for a drink?

- I always enjoy a beer chaser.

- I was after opals, you see.

Well, everyone was getting along famously,

then suddenly out of the blue, this woman appeared.

- Hello, what is your name, stranger?

- Paddy Rafferty, ma'am, at your service.

- Jack Buck, and you, you're a woman, ma'am.

- Americans, you are so perceptive.

And where do you come from, Jack?

- Out there in the jungle.

That's where I belong.

- Hmm, a body like this,

I bet you move like a leopard, sweetie.

- I sure can.

- Show me.

- What?

- Dance with me, darling.

- I'm getting dizzy.

- You need some fresh air, darling?

What the hell are you doing down here?

- It was his fault, Lola!

- Whose fault was it?

- It was my fault, Lola.

- Oh, nevermind, get this one outside quickly.

We have to interrogate the American.

Come on.

- Then I remembered the story about

the green-eyed yellow god, so I put the ruby back.

Wisest thing I ever did in my life.

Hey, did I tell you about how I discovered the Lost City?

- You found the Lost City?

- Don't be daft.

If he found it it wouldn't be lost.

- It is only about 20 miles from here.

- Where, where?

- I wouldn't go back there for a million pounds.

Barely got out with my life.

And I wasn't even looking for the place.

- Where is it?

- Where is what?

- The Lost City!

- Ah, now, it is all years ago.

Although I do remember there was this old volcano.

Well, lad, isn't that the very place!

- What is?

What are you talking about?

- The picture, that's the very volcano

and that's the mountain.

The Lost City is between the two of them.

- Are you absolutely, 100% sure of this?

- Absolutely, that's the place for sure.

At least, I think it is.

- Nazi swine.

- He's tough, most men would have broken by now.

, you know nothing about torture.

Every man has his achilles heel.

You must let me work on him, Lola.

- You're wasting your time, he doesn't know anything.

- You're just saying that because you have failed.

- I've found it, I've found it!

- The Lost City?

- Yes, yes, I know where it is!

- Wunderbar!

Gentlemen, we will leave at once.

- But I haven't had my turn yet, I want to--

- Oh, listen, you incompetent creep!

No, no, I am feeling good.

Go on, enjoy yourself, Heinrich.

- Thank you, Lola.

- Mr. Tombs, wake up.

Mr. Tombs, wake up!

Excuse me?

- Any time, Missy.

What'll you have?

- Have you seen Mr. Buck, Jack Buck?

- Oh, that American chap, yeah.

He went off.

- Off?

Off where?

- How do I know?

One minute he was dancing with this dame,

and then they went off together.

And a real good looker too, you know.

- I see.

Thank you very much.

- Uh, Miss?

- Yes?

- Anything you need, any time, just sort of whistle.

- Beautiful.

So simple.

The was an invention

of my grandfather, you do understand how it works?

- Dirty swine.

- What?

- Ow!

- Nevermind, you'll soon get the point.

Four candles to light you to bed.

Four spears to chop off your head.

- There's no other word for it, just damn bad manners.

The least the fellow could have done was to say goodbye.

Typical American.

- Personally, I think we're better off without him.

- What?

I thought you were a bit sweet on the chap?

- As far as I'm concerned, I hope I never see him again.

- Really?

Well, I'd better get this safari organized.

Come on, Tombs.

My God, look at the man.

Oh, see what you can do with him, Jane.

- Oh, oh, dear.

What he needs is a pint of brandy and six raw eggs.

- Thank you, but I think we'll try the black coffee first.

Mr. Tombs?

- No.

- Oh, come on, Tombs, drink up.

- Oh, it's gone.

- Just drink your coffee, you'll soon feel better.

- Nazis, they've stolen the Lost City.

It was there on the wall.

- Yes, yes, along with all the pink elephants.

Fritz, where have you been?

Fritz?

Fritz, come back here at once.

Fritz, what's got into you?

Jane?

- Jack?

Are you alone?

What are you doing down there?

- What the hell's it look like?

Will you get me outta here?

- Who did this to you, Jack?

- Some dame called Lola Pagola.

Will you just get me outta here?

- Lola Pagola?

Well don't you realize she's Hitler's most deadly agent?

- Oh no!

- Oh yes!

She's evil, vicious, ruthless.

She lures men on with her beauty and--

- Jane, will you just cut the biography.

Ah!

- Jack, I can't open the door!

- There's a way in through the top.

For Pete's sake, Jane, will you hurry, will you hurry?

Hurry, Jane!

Okay, I'll die happy.

Jane, save yourself!

- We'll make it.

Look out!

We made it!

- Jack, I appreciate you're the expert on these matters,

but don't you feel we're rather ill-equipped?

- Listen to me, Colonel, I wanna get those guys.

I'll be damned if a bunch of Nazis

are gonna rough me up and get away with it!

- But dear boy, we have no food, no equipment, no tents!

- Ah, we don't need any of that!

Travel fast, travel light, live off the land.

- We don't even have a gun between us.

- I don't believe in guns.

- Well suppose we meet a lion?

- Well, I tell you what you do, sir.

You look at that big boy right in the eye

and you out-stare him.

Works every time.

Well, hell, almost every time.

- Almost?

- Yeah, some lions are short sighted.

- Oh.

Great.

- Think back, Tombs.

Try to remember what was in that picture

that was so important?

- I'm not very well.

It's all a bit of a blur, is last night.

- Oh, don't worry, Tombs.

It'll all come back to you.

- That's what I'm afraid of.

- Left a bit!

- Halt!

Think we stop here, yeah, Lola

- Good. - Good.

Fellas, up tents!

Prepare the food,!

- The crystal, be careful of my crystal!

- What do you find so funny, little man?

- I'm laughing because I have finished the job

you have failed to do.

- What do you mean?

- The Colonel and Jane are no more.

With my genius for timing, I have left

a little surprise for them at the Imperial Hotel.

- You know, barman, there's something

been worrying me about that wall.

Oh, I know what it is.

You're clock's stopped.

And when you're ready, you can give me another double.

I think you better make that a single.

- Haven't you found it yet?

- It is difficult.

There are three extinct volcanoes marked on this map.

- Dr. Schell, the one in the painting

is clearly not extinct.

- Yes, indeed.

And in 1891, the exact date on the painting,

Professor Kent, in his travels through Africa

refers to feeling the ground tremble

and seeing the volcano erupt.

- So, then why the hell didn't you tell us

about this thing before?

- Because Professor Kent neglected to mention

which volcano it was.

- You and your damn books!

This means we will now have to investigate all three!

- You should have listened to me, Lola.

This man has been wasting our time.

From now on, I will lead this expedition,

and one thing I will not be needing is this!

- It'll soon be dark.

- Cheer up, Colonel.

You'll feel better once we've eaten.

- I'm starving!

I wonder what Jack's managed to bag for the pot?

Now that's a thought, fire.

Tombs?

- Why don't I make a fire, sir?

- Good thinking, man.

Managed to remember anything yet?

- No, Miss, I'm too busy thinking about food.

Well, hi there!

- Ah!

- We're in luck!

We got ourselves a feast here.

Yeah.

- You call this a feast?

- Jack, you said we'd be living off the land.

- That's right, sir, but you gotta know

the right places to look.

- Oh my God, he's a ruddy vegetarian.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Jane.

- Hmm?

- I was just thinking about the other day.

I'm sorry.

- Sorry, what for?

- Well, for doubting you and calling you yellow.

- You weren't to know.

- Oh hell, I shoulda known.

First time I saw you I knew you were different.

I was right.

You saved my life.

You're my kinda woman, Jane.

- I'm glad.

I've never met anyone like you, Jack.

Time we were moving on, don't you think?

Why have they left it behind?

- It can only mean one thing.

They know where to find the Lost City.

- And so do I.

It's all coming back.

He said it was between the volcano and that mountain there.

- Ah, all we need to do is follow them.

I wonder how long ago they left.

- That's easy enough to find out.

I'll just see how cold these ashes are.

Ah, geez!

- Or in other words, not long ago.

- Look, this proves we must be on the right trail.

This cigarette's Egyptian, and it's got lipstick on it.

- Lola Pagola.

We'll need to watch our step.

Ah.

- No sir, not up toward the mountains.

- Why not?

- You were about to fall for the oldest trick in the book.

- Oh, was I?

- Yes sir.

If this woman is as clever as you say she is,

then she's obviously laid a false trail.

Now, my guess is she went right up this way.

- What, through the forest?

- Jack does know about these things.

- Very well.

And do keep up with us, Tombs.

- So, it was the wrong volcano.

I'm sorry!

- Shut up!

From now on, I shall lead this expedition.

- Didn't I tell you he was all brawn and no brains, Lola?

Not like you and me, huh?

- And you can shut up too, you sycophantic psychopath.

- Thank you, Lola!

- Make sure you don't lose that painting, Mr. Tombs.

- Be damned glad to get out of this forest.

The place gives me the creeps.

- Well once you get to know it, Colonel,

the forest really is a friendly place.

Stay close to me, Jane.

Jane?

Jane!

Leave her alone!

Do what you want to me, but don't you hurt her!

- Let go of me, let go!

- I'll have you know I'm a Colonel in the British Army,

and that woman is under my command and protection.

- Here, you can't do that to my Colonel!

- Get your hands off me!

- Oh, I get it, single combat, huh?

Alright, break out your bravest warrior!

- Jack!

That does it!

Oh!

Gosh, jolly glad I didn't meet you on the hockey field!

- Jack.

Jack!

What are they doing to Jane?

- Oh my God, trail by poison!

- Are you sure?

- Then after they kicked me out of Roedean

I went up to Oxford, and what a wonderful time!

Would still be there if my aunt and mommy

hadn't chosen to both die at the same time.

Well, of course, when that happened

I had to pack it all in and come back.

I mean, after all, one does have one's duty to do.

- Oh, quite!

- You say what you like, but I believe tradition

is very important, don't you?

- Absolutely.

- Tell me, what was your first impression.

I mean, how do you think I look as the Leopard Queen?

- Oh, most impressive!

Very regal!

- Really?

Oh, do have some more galoopa juice!

- Oh, thank you!

- Ooh, powerful stuff.

Look, I hate to spoil the party and all that,

but, um, well, what do you intend doing with them?

- Well, of course in Auntie's time you'd all be dead by now.

Well, she was a great stickler for privacy.

Naturally, I'll have to punish them, but not quite sure how.

Perhaps I could cut something off.

- But you can't possibly cut those off!

- Why not?

They do it to horses!

Oh, I'll think of something.

And after all, I mean, fair play,

they did come here to steal the diamonds.

- Well, they weren't for us personally, you know.

They wanted to borrow them for Britain's war effort.

- Ah, you mean the Empire should rally to the flag?

- Exactly!

And while I think of it, there's a bunch

of Nazis after those diamonds as well.

- Halt!

- Lola.

- The river, that is the answer!

If they built a city, they would build it near water.

- A brilliant deduction!

So, that is the right volcano.

- I was right, look!

- Come back!

- You swine!

Shoot, damn you!

- Blimey, Colonel, can you see what I can see!

- Yes, yes, Tombs, we're fully aware we're in the Lost City.

- And in the middle of their temple, so start praying.

- No, I meant up there!

Look at the volcano!

- Oh, God, that's all we need.

- Unfortunately, by the time Great-Great-Grandmother died,

she was completely gaga.

Took the secret with her to the grave.

- So there are no diamonds?

- Oh, yes, they're here all right,

hidden somewhere in this damn temple.

Only no one knows how to get at them.

On and off we've been searching for the past hundred years.

Oh, lucky the royal family always kept

a few 'round for petty cash, but apart from those,

the cupboard's bare, I'm afraid.

Come back, my warriors!

Are you men or children?

No!

This is too much.

Every time that bloody mountain starts to rumble

they always trot off into the jungle.

Well, they'll stay there for days, you know?

And the point is nothing every happens.

Oh, a couple of tremors, a bit of smoke, and it's all over.

And to think, I gave up Freddy for all this!

Who's Freddy?

- A boy I met up at Oxford.

Actually, he's an Arab prince.

Oh, just to think of him makes me go weak at the knees.

Oh, if only I could get back to England.

- I'll have you free in just a second, Colonel.

- No, Jack, she's a friend.

- Oh.

- Oh, shit, it's really happening this time.

- Oh, blimey, let's get out of here!

- Stay where you are, Tombs!

I promised Mr. Churchill that he'd have those diamonds,

and I'm damned if I'm going to give up

simply because some blasted volcano has chosen to erupt.

- Well said, Colonel.

- Fritz, where's Fritz?

Oh, Fritz, she's too big for you!

- Colonel, if you find these diamonds,

you can have them for the duration of the war

providing you get me back to England.

- Why should you help us?

- Very personal reasons.

Ma'am , you've got yourself a deal.

- We should be there very soon now, Lola.

- You have been saying that for the last half hour.

- Get up you lily-livered coward or I'll shoot you!

- Shh!

There is nothing, I can hear no more tremors.

- Good, onward.

Alright, let's turn these big boys

so they're all facing outward!

- Nothing

- Well at least that ruddy volcano's stopped rumbling.

- Oh, for heaven's sake, Tombs,

just concentrate on the job in hand.

- Let's keep our cool, Colonel.

Finding the right combination

is obviously gonna take a little time.

- A little time?

My people have been trying for the past hundred years.

I did warn you.

- Well hell, these statues weren't

put here for nothing, right?

That right, Colonel?

- Right!

- Jane?

- Right.

It's got to be here.

- Jane, baby, you did it.

- Light those torches, Jack.

- Right.

- My ancestors!

- Ew.

- Reminds me of my club.

- Want the diamonds, Colonel?

- Time we got that out of here.

- I quite agree, Colonel.

But you must allow us to do it for you.

All of you stand back!

No, on either side where I can see you!

Carl, get the chest.

So, Colonel, you may have beaten me in the past,

but you have lost the last battle.

I always knew I could beat you in the end.

- Don't you be too sure of that, Lola Pagola!

- No, we're not done for yet!

- But you soon will be this time!

Remember my dead brothers, Lola.

You must let me have them!

- Very well, but make it quick before you get buried alive.

- How I will savor this moment!

Oh, who shall I kill first?

So many choices.

And will it be the head or in the heart!

Will it be slow and lingering.

- I'm gonna rush that little twerp.

- No, sir, I shall do it.

Good bye, Colonel.

- Stop speaking, down on your knees!

You're dead!

- My God, the entrance!

- Nein!

- Well, folks, I think we're in trouble.

Look out, Jane, behind you!

Are you okay?

- Sorry about that.

- Hi there, Great Grandma.

- Ah, that's it, no good.

We're never gonna be able to lift that.

- So, when we get out of here

you're going back to England to find Freddy.

- When, don't you mean if?

- Who is this dear Freddy?

- Oh, just someone I know.

- Any luck?

- Solid rock, every inch of it.

- Damn it, there's got to be a way out.

- You don't give up easy, do ya, Colonel?

- I'm British.

- I wonder.

- What?

- Well, it's a silly story in my family

that Great-Grandma was

terrified of being buried alive.

I can imagine.

But, being a clever old bird ,

the story goes she made arrangements

to have another way out of her coffin, oh, for insurance.

Just in case.

It used to give us nightmares thinking

that Great-Grandma might pop out of the ground at any time.

Ooh!

- Are you alright?

- Jane, it's true!

Great-Grandma did have another way out, come and see!

- Careful, Jane.

- Let's take it easy folks.

- Yes, one good cough and the lot could come down.

Must have gone for miles!

- Come on, let's keep moving.

- That's done it.

- Go, Colonel, get 'em out!

I can't hold it much longer.

- Leap forward, Jack, throw yourself clear.

- Okay, here goes!

Run for your life!

Jane, get the dog, come on!

- Never, never thought we'd get out of there alive.

- Oh, fresh air and freedom.

- Are these your people.

- No, rather afraid they're not.

- Freddy?

Freddy!

- What the devil is going on?

- Freddy came all the way back from England.

Love, Colonel, love.

- Oh, oh that.

- Why didn't you ask that Freddy and his mob

to help us track down them Nazis, Colonel?

- Because, Tombs, this is an entirely British affair.

Aided, of course, by our American ally.

- It's a plane!

- Aircraft is ready to take off, Fraulein Pagola.

- Very well.

Go.

Once we are airborne, I wish to speak to Berlin.

Farewell, Africa, your treasure will be put to good use!

- I wonder just how much these diamonds really are worth?

- A million billion Deutschmarks, maybe more.

- Don't you get any ideas, little man.

- Me?

No, no, I was only asking.

- I've just been on the radio.

I spoke to the Fuhrer himself.

Heil Hitler!

Heil Hitler!

- Shut up and fly the damn plane!

- What did our beloved Fuhrer have to say, Lola?

- He, he was overcome with joy.

When I described the diamonds to him,

how many there were, he started to cry.

- Our Fuhrer cried?

- All great men cry.

I am to tell you that he has awarded me two Iron Crosses,

which he will personally present to me when I land.

And Field Marshal Goering has ordered fighters

to escort me back to Germany.

Pour me schnapps, Carl.

Success is mine.

Oh yeah, I nearly forgot.

Each one of you will receive

a signed photograph of the Fuhrer.

Prost!

- I don't think I want to go to Germany.

- No, we've got to do something.

- And pretty damn fast, time's running out.

- You know, there's only one thing I'm unhappy about, Lola.

- What is that?

- I would dearly have loved to have seen

the Colonel and Jane die, slowly, slowly.

- Right, that does it!

- Are you gonna give in,

or am I gonna have to thump you first?

- I surrender.

- I warn you, Colonel, my father was a policeman.

- Yes, and your mother?

- She's in the S.S.

- So you want to play dirty, huh?

- Anyway you want it, Colonel.

- Well, this is a trick I learned

on the playing fields of Eton.

- We Germans know all about your English tricks!

- Really, how 'bout this one?

The old knee in the groin.

- Oh, well played, sir.

- I'm wearing you down!

- Ah!

Whoa!

- Good boy, Fritz.

- Get up, get back.

Hands up, all of you!

Hands up!

- Get that dog away from me!

Look at him!

I don't believe it!

- Carl, get down, you're making a fool of yourself.

- Don't like little dogs.

- The elephant and the mouse!

Oh, look at your big strong hero now, Lola.

- Carl, do as I say!

- You don't understand!

Little dogs, they hate me!

- Little dogs, he's afraid of the doodle poodle!

- What are you doing, dummkopf!

- He can't hear you, on account of

you obviously just shot him.

- My God.

- Now I'm gonna get at her.

- No, Jane, no.

- Good advice, Colonel.

Anyone moves and they're dead!

- Lola, please, wait for me.

Shoot the dog!

Shoot the dog?

- Enough!

Now you're going to die, you're all of you going to die!

- Help me, Lola!

Lola, help me!

- Another camp bed, Tombs?

- No, Colonel, I'm afraid that was a parachute.

- Pity.

- Jack, where's Jack?

- Where to, folks

- Oh, Jack, do you have to go?

- Yeah, I'm afraid so.

That guy over there spent weeks

looking for me all over Africa.

- But right now?

- Jane, listen to me.

There's a lot of trouble brewing in the Pacific,

and with my knowledge of the jungle,

damn it, when Uncle Sam calls you just gotta go.

- Come along, you two, time to celebrate.

The diamonds are safely on their way to England.

Mr. Churchill is delighted, and to show

his gratitude he has awarded us 36 hours leave.

- Oh no.

- Oh yes.

Well, that means that you two young lovebirds--

Something wrong, Tombs?

- Your brandy and soda, sir.

Ah, the rewards of the just, what?

Did I say something to them?

- No sir, I just think they wanted to be alone, sir.

- Ah.

Jolly nice tune you were playing just then.

- I'll play it again, sir.

- Will we ever meet again, Jack?

- You're damn right.

No war's gonna keep us apart.

I'll be back.

- You've got to go.

Take care.

Remember me, Jack!

- Just the way you are, sweetheart.

♪ Ooh, ooh, Jane, unforgettable, Jane ♪

♪ You've got that fabulous smile that money can't buy ♪

♪ Ooh, Jane, so kissable, Jane

♪ You make the whole world worthwhile ♪

♪ With the wink of an eye

♪ Why, Jane, you really are original ♪

♪ Jane, but you are inspirational ♪

♪ Jane, Jane, Jane

♪ I know that since I've seen you, Jane ♪

♪ I'm feeling 17 again

♪ Wonderful Jane

♪ Jane, you really are original ♪

♪ Jane, but you've been inspirational ♪

♪ Jane, Jane, Jane

♪ I know that since I've seen you, Jane ♪

♪ I'm feeling 17 again

♪ Wonderful Jane