All language subtitles for into.the.dark.s01e04.new.year.new.you.480p.webrip.x264.rmteam [SubtitleTools.com]

Help me, please!

Let go of...

Help me! Let me go!

- Hey, everyone, I'm Jesse Hall,

the editor of Fresh and Free,

we're joined by our regular
contributor Danielle Williams.

- Hi, guys.

The creator of Get Well Danielle

and owner of
Very Very Vegetable Juices.

Danielle is getting her
very own TV show next year.

- Such a powerful example

of what manifestation can bring.

- We really are honored
you're here with us

one last time to get us
inspired for the new year.

- Okay, why wait till January 1st?

You can start your health kick

before the clock hits midnight

with these wellness cocktails

with my Very Very Vegetable
holiday blends.

- Oh!
- Now, guys,

don't forget to post
your self-love selfies

of you and your pals
drinking my cocktails

and tag them #GetWellDanielle

so I can see all
of your beautiful faces.

- Now what is some advice
to start fresh in 2019?

- The holidays make us feel
a little out of control.

- Hello, third glass of eggnog.
- Oh!

We might be feeling like

we aren't in charge
of our own lives.

But you are.

I am here to remind you
that you are.

And you can do whatever it is

you set your mind to.

Now, close your eyes
and repeat after me.

I control my own destiny.

- I control my own destiny.

I control what I hold onto.

- I control what I hold onto.

And I control what I let go of.

- I control what I let go of.

- I let go of.
- Very good.

Now, tomorrow is a new day.

Soon it will be a new year.

And when the clock strikes 12,

I want you to become
the new you, the best you,

the you that you have
always wanted to be

but have been too afraid
to become.

Don't put it off
for a second longer.

- Okay, your mom's
gonna be home soon.

It's time to clean up.

- She is so cool.

I cannot wait for her new show.

I wish I was as pretty
and cool as her.

- You are, Kara.
- She's my inspiration!

When I grow up,
I wanna be just like her.

- Actually, Kara, can you
not jump on the couch?

I'm really worried
you're gonna hurt yourself.

- But I love myself.

I am in control
of my own destiny.

I am the princess.

- Okay, I think somebody
had too much sugar.

- Those cookies
didn't have sugar,

they had maple syrup,
they're paleo.

They were Danielle's recipe.

- Kara, can you help me clean up?

- I cannot believe
you're going to spend

New Year's Eve
with Get Well Danielle.

What's she like?

- I don't know, I haven't seen her
for a really long time.

- But you guys were friends
in high school.

- Yeah.
- Best friends?

- Yep.
- Wow.

Did you know she was gonna be
so famous and cool?

- No.

- But you did school plays
together.

That's true.

- Were you good in them?

Uh, I mean, yeah,

I thought I was
gonna be an actress,

and I won awards and stuff, so,

I guess people thought
I was pretty good.

- Why'd you stop acting?

- Is it because of your scar?

- No.

- I just thought that
I wanted to do something

that would make more
of a difference in the world.

Then why are you a babysitter?

Hey guys, I'm Danielle Williams,

founder of Very Very Vegetables

and soon-to-be host

of Get Well Danielle,

coming to you this spring.

Make sure you tune in.

- Hello?

- We can coach you.

And I got the distinct vibe
they were like,

"We could both fuck you,"

and I was like,
"No, please."

- Oh, my God,
I love these boots!

Oh, I love them!

- Oh, my God,
I can't see a thing.

Oh, my God, Kaela, look.

- Stop, Chloe, will you stop?

I'm driving.

- Okay.

Holy fuck,
they're nearly $5,000.

- What?

What... that's crazy.

- I want them.

Dude, that's like
half a year's rent.

What... who can afford that?

- Danielle.

- Yeah, well...

Are you nervous?

- No, why would I be?

Why? Are you?

A little.

No.

- You're fucking kidding me.

- Shit.
- Again?

I'm so sorry.

I just serviced
this fucking car.

I'm about to service
your fucking face.

I'm sorry, okay, let's go.

You would at least
have one for me?

I'm sorry,
I only have one umbrella!

- Jesus, Kaela!
- Who has two umbrellas?

Mary-fucking-Poppins!
I don't know!

You see? This is why
we don't buy $5,000 boots.

- Hey.
- Hi!

Oh, my gosh, here,
take these, take these.

Oh, my fucking God.

It's fucking pouring out there.

Kaela's shitmobile
broke down again.

Oh, you should have called me,

I would have come pick you up.

Um, can you not insult Sadie?

She's been with me for years.

Fine, whatever,
at least you have a car.

- Whoa, oh, my God.

Wow, it looks
exactly the same here.

Love it.

God, I can't believe
your parents

are selling this place.

We had so many good times here.

I don't know, I just...

It still freaks me out
just thinking about...

Anyway, who does a girl
have to fuck around here

to get a drink, hm?

Hi.

Oh, she has odd wants today.

- Wait, shouldn't we wait
for Danielle?

- You really think
she's gonna come?

- Well, she said
she would, didn't she?

What did she say
when you texted her?

She said...

"That would be so amazing.

I haven't seen you girls
in so long

and would be gr8,"
with an eight,

"to say goodbye to the house.

Just LMK the deets via email

and CC my assist

Hailey@GetWellDanielle.com."

- Ooh, she has an assistant.

- Anyway, I think
she'll probably flake.

- I think she'll come.

- Mm.

Yes, yum-yum-yum-yum-yum.

Do you have the Champagne?

I want so much more.

Oh, my God, did you guys see

that picture of her and Leo?

- Who?
- DiCaprio.

Leonardo DiCaprio, Jesus, Kaela.

Oh, sorry,
I must have missed it.

- What are you sorry about?

That you missed a picture

of Danielle
and Leonardo DiCaprio?

- Who cares?
- Oh, my God,

I care so deeply.

She's just like hanging out
with Leo now.

You guys, it's insane,
like, it's amazing.

Mm, also,

did you see the announcement
about her show?

It's coming out in the spring.

- Yeah, well,
we'll see about that.

- Oh, the balloons.
- Yes.

Oh, no, I didn't even ask you

how your interview went.

- Oh, um, it...
- There's nothing much to tell.

- It happened.
- Oh, my God,

you're going back to school.

Maybe, eventually, you know?

I'd love to finish my degree,

maybe go back to grad school
or something.

- That's great.

- Yeah, but this was
for a hostess job

at Eden's Pub.

- Oh.

Yeah.

I saw the help wanted sign
there the other day.

I just didn't think
you'd want to work there.

- I don't,

but I need to pay
my student loans

for the two years
of college I did go to

before I had a nervous breakdown

and dropped out.

It wasn't a nervous breakdown.

- No, it was.

- You guys,
how much money do you think

Danielle makes in a year?

I mean, like, if you factor in

all the free stuff she gets.

I read somewhere
she makes like $200,000

in passive income alone,

like just from ads and stuff.

It's gotta be that much.

Her house is fucking...

It's literally my dream home.

It's like she went into my brain

and plucked out my dream home

and showed it to an architect.

It's insane.

God, she's gotta be making

like a million a year, right?

- I really don't know, Chlo.

- I wish I had money.

I was famous.

Or both.

Shit, she came.

Oh!

- Hey.

- You ready?
- Danielle, you made it!

- As I'll ever be... we
weren't sure I was gonna come.

Wait, come on in!

- Oh, my God, Chlo!

You look amazing.

Oh, no.

I feel like a... whatever.

- Oh, please! Anyway,
so do you, of course.

Stop.

You guys,
I am so sorry I'm late,

it is so rude.

Lex,

I am so grateful
you invited me tonight.

I was really dreading
whatever, like,

awful party I was gonna be
dragged to in LA,

and...

This is... this is so much better.

- Yeah, well,
we couldn't imagine

spending the last New Year's
in the house

without you.

- Aw, thank you.

Oh, my God.

You guys, this looks amazing.

Wow.

These balloons are so cute.

Oh, come on,

I am obsessed
with these number balloons.

Right?

Kaela bought them.

Yeah, it was... it's nothing,

they're like from
the 99 cent store.

- Of course.

You always have
the best taste, Kaela.

Do you remember
my mom used to ask

why I didn't dress
more funky like you?

Yeah, that was weird of her.

- Right?
- Yeah.

- Oh, I brought presents.

- What?
- Oh.

Okay, these are all organic,

all vegan.

Cruelty free.

If you give a shit.

- We do.
- All natural.

Oh, wow.

Esther and Tammy,
that's so fancy.

- Well, nothing is too good
for my girls.

I think that color will go perfect.

This is making a big splash.

Not out yet, but like bright...

Brightens...
Brightens everything up.

- Cool, thanks.

Yeah.

Of course.

Oh, my God, you guys,

can I document this?

Do you care?

- Sure, yeah.

Jesus, what do I have in here?

It's like a freaking clown car.

I'm just gonna be pulling out

like rabbits and ducks.

Okay, everybody scrunch in.

Lex, come on.

I'll be in the middle.

Gather 'round.

All right.

Scrunch in.

Ready?

Oh, shoot, I'm blinking.

One more, okay?

Okay.

Everybody say "cheese."

Get Well Danielle.

Get Well Danielle!

Well, I'm just saying
that I just feel like

just because a woman
is involved in something

doesn't make it
inherently feminist,

and I think that's something
we have to watch out for,

like you've gotta be aware

that money
and this whole machine

co-opts everything, right?

- Okay.
- You guys always just say okay

when you want me to shut up.

No, I'm with you, Kaela.

- I'm too drunk
for this conversation.

- Oh, Kaela,

do you mind leaving out
the heavy cream?

I'm DF.

- Dairy-free.

Wait, you're dairy-free
by choice?

Yeah, it's really bad for you.

I do not care.

There's no way
I could give up cheese.

Ugh, trust me, I know,

I miss cheese so freaking much.

- So like how long
have you been DF?

- Like four years now?

Whoa.

- Yeah, one of my subscribers
sent me a message

saying she had these like
terrible painful boils

- on her head.
- Ew, boils?

Yeah, and she tried

all of these different medicines

- and nothing worked.
- Oh, that's so gross.

It was really fucked up.

And she was like
begging me for help.

- But she knew you weren't
a doctor though, right?

Yeah, it didn't matter.

She had tried doctors

and nothing was working.

So I did some research and found

that dairy can cause
inflammation issues.

And then I started reading

about all this other, like,

horrible stuff dairy does
to your body and was like,

"Whoa, I should not
be eating dairy."

- Wow, it sounds like

you're really making
a difference.

- Yeah, I mean,
it's totally rewarding,

but, um...

it's also a lot of hard work

and a ton of pressure.

Um, you know,
sometimes I just wish

I was back here with you guys,

just goofing off
like we used to.

- Believe me, you don't.

- Believe me, I do.

Well, I think the grass

is always greener, you know?

No, you're right, you're right.

I should be grateful
for what I have.

I mean, I am grateful
for what I have,

it's just, you know,

it's sometimes so easy
to get accustomed

to a new equilibrium

and forget how lucky you are.

Human nature, I guess.

- Ah, fuck.

Ow.

- Shit, are you okay?

Ah, fuck.

- Mm-mm.
- Here.

Hey, I'll be fine, I just...

- Are you sure?

Alexis, you are
such a good cook.

This all looks so amazing.

Yeah, thank you, Lex.

Smells incredible.

Thank you.

Yummy.

Oh, wait, um, before we start,

uh, would you guys
humor me with something?

Yeah, sure.

Okay, I know
this is a little corny,

but it is the end
of the year, after all,

and I think it would be
really productive

if we just like
went around the table

and celebrated ourselves

by acknowledging
our proudest accomplishments

of the year.

I know, it's silly,

it's just, you know,

to remind ourselves
of what we're capable of.

- Yeah, sure, that's nice.

- Yeah?
- Okay.

- You go first.
- I'll go first.

I volunteered, so I'll go first.

All you.

Okay, um,

I guess my proudest
accomplishment this year

would be that I had

a really challenging kid
come in,

um, she was deaf and autistic,

and, you know, she has like...

She had a lot of sensory issues.

And, um,

oh, I don't want to get
too mumbo-jumbo-y,

but it was just...
It was really...

It's really cool to just...

To watch a person
develop so much

over such
a short period of time.

So...

- Wow.

Kaela, that is incredible.

You definitely put
the rest of us to shame.

- No.
- Oh yeah.

You are a fucking amazing woman.

- Okay, well, thank you,

I don't think so, but,
you know, whatever.

- Someone else, someone else.
- Well, I think you are.

- Chlo?

- Whatever you want.
- All right, well, okay,

even though my mom's sick

and I don't have a job

and I'm broke

and I've been on over
200 internet dates

and I still don't have
a boyfriend,

I didn't fucking kill myself
this year,

so cheers to that, huh?

I'm kidding.

Oh, my God, Danielle,
I'm joking.

- Okay, well,
all jokes aside, um...

it seems like you're actually
really hurting, Chlo,

and I want you to know

that I'm here for you
if you ever need me.

- Thank you.

- I love you.
- I love you.

- Lex?

- Um, well,
as Chloe and Kaela know,

this year was actually

especially challenging for me.

Fuck.

I'm sorry.

Is it... is it something

you want to share or...?

- Just a lot of,
you know, um... regrets?

Feeling like I didn't live
my best life.

I wasted a lot of time.

I don't know, I... I just had

all these um, hopes
and dreams and visions,

but I just, um...

Yeah, so,

I didn't actually accomplish
a lot this year.

Actually, for a lot of years.

I feel like I've
kind of been bogged down

by the past.

Holding onto things
that really I...

I should have let go of.

So...

Anyway, um,

I know it's almost
the end of the year,

but I really feel

like my biggest accomplishments

have yet to come.

- Wow, Lex.

I loved that.

Yes, there is always more time,

so cheers.

Cheers.

Cheers to us!

Ha, wait, where were you?

- I was watching
Waiting for Guffman.

What?

- Yeah, I had no idea
that was going on.

Did you... he jizzed in his pants?

Yeah, dude, it was crazy.

He like... he went in to kiss me

and then he was like ugh,

and he backed up.

And I was like,
"What's happening?"

And like he just didn't want me

anywhere near his crotch.

And then I realized
it was because

he had jizzed in his pants.

I can't believe
you never told me that.

Did you guys know that?

Yeah.

Teenage boys are so weird.

- So gross.

- Lex, do you remember the night

that you were making out
with Noah Spivak

and I like crawled
across the floor

and unplugged the light?

- Yes, I do.

- Wait, was the same night
he said "VJ"?

- Yes.
- Oh, my God,

I'd bet you'd feel really good

if you let me touch your VJ.

Who says thats...

It's so gross.

Wait, is vagina
spelled with a J?

Have I been spelling it
wrong my whole life?

- No.
- I feel like...

Wait, so... so,
did he touch your VJ?

Um, not that night.

I think I had my period.

Also there was a girl

crawling around on the floor

unplugging lights.

You're welcome,

I was trying to set the mood.

- I loved Noah.
- Oh, my God,

you were so obsessed with him.

He was very cute.

Okay, whose turn is it?

Wait, okay,
what about you, Kaela?

I feel like I know nothing

about your love life.

- Oh, she's hot and heavy
with someone.

What's his name?

- It's a woman, actually.

Her name's Frankie.

- Oh, my God, that's amazing.

I didn't know
you were into girls.

- Yeah, yeah, I am.

Um... I mean,

I... I was in high school too,

I was just too scared
to come out.

I'm sorry.

How'd you guys meet?

At work.

She works in
the pediatric department,

so, yeah,

it's been almost a year now.

Oh, actually, I didn't
even tell you guys this.

We are gonna move in together

when her lease is up.

- Oh, shit, that's awesome.
- Congratulations.

Oh my God, that's amazing!

We were just talking
about like the new year

and like goals and stuff,

and it makes sense.

- Wait, save it.

I have a really good idea.

Hey, guys, it's Danielle.

I'm here with
my high school besties

and we were just talking about

New Year's resolutions.

This is Kaela.

Okay, what are your resolutions?

Okay, you know what,

I would like to spend
more time outside,

less time on my phone.

I feel like I spend
like my entire life

staring at a screen.

And you know what,
I really want to be better

about helping people, you know,

with all the stuff
that's going on

in the world right now,
I just feel like...

Wait, shit.

We need to start over.

We try not to get
like too political,

'cause it tends
to bum people out

or can alienate anyone

that doesn't have
my same politics.

Um, maybe just like
stick to your love life.

- Okay.
- Yeah,

we're just gonna start over.

Hey, guys, it's Danielle.

I'm here with
my high school besties

and we were just talking

about New Year's resolutions.

Okay, what's your resolution?

- Um, to... to maintain

healthy lines of communication
with my girlfriend

and to tell her
that I love her every day.

- Oh, so sweet.

I told you guys
she was a sweetheart.

Okay, Chloe.

- What are your resolutions?
- Hi.

Okay, lose 10 pounds,
get a boyfriend,

and to move out
of my mom's house.

- Ugh, you can do it, Chlo.

Okay, last but not least,

my bestie from the nestie,

Alexis.

- No.

- Come on.

Say something.

It'll go out
to a million followers.

You'll inspire them
with your words.

I really don't want to.

- Well, she didn't used
to be this camera shy.

Come on, what do you want?

Uh, health, relationship,

career?

I mean, don't you have
any goals?

- Seriously, stop.

- Come on, Lex,

just let the world see
your beautiful face.

Tell them about your hopes

and your dreams for the future.

They're dying to hear from you.

Come on, what?

What?

Come on, Lexie.

Come on.

Come on, Alexis.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, tell them.

Come on, Alexis.

Show the world
your beautiful face.

Get that fucking camera

out of my face, Danielle.

- Wha...

What the hell, Alexis?

I was...

I was just trying
to include you.

- I'll go check the fuse box.

- Yikes.

I... thought the window
was gonna shatter

and my phone was gonna be
totally screwed.

I'm still shaking.

Yeah, um, Alexis's parents

had the whole place
like hermetically sealed

after the accident
and... or whatever.

- Fuck...

- Sorry, I didn't mean
to startle you.

Um... I just wanted
to come down here

and say I'm...

I'm really sorry, I...

I had no idea
you hadn't been back

since the accident.

That must be
really hard for you.

And, look,

I know I haven't
seen you in a while,

and, I don't know,

maybe things feel weird

because you only
get this idea of me

from my videos,

but it's just me.

Like, seriously, Lex,

it's me.

The same girl who you went
to electrolysis with

to get her chin hair zapped off.

Same girl who you'd go
into food comas with

every Friday night
because no one wanted

to hang out with us.

- Oh, my...

- Do you remember that?

- Yeah.
- What did we call it?

- Oh, my gosh, uh,

Chef's Express.

- Mm-hm.

I think about you all the time.

And you're my best friend.

You've known me
longer than anyone,

you've seen parts of me
no one else has,

like, literally,

you checked my butt
for hemorrhoids.

And there's no one else

who I'd rather ring
the new year in with.

I'm so grateful
you invited me back here.

And you're just such
an amazing, strong woman,

and I admire you so much.

I'm so proud
of who you've become.

- Let's just fucking party.

That's my girl!

It's almost 12

and we are not
nearly drunk enough.

Come on.

Okay, ladies,

there is only one more hour
left in 2018,

- so that means no more phones.
- No!

- Just us gals.

We are going to celebrate.

Because this year is going to be

our best year yet.

We deserve it.

To more, more, more, and more.

- Oh, my God!
- Oh God, no.

- Eighth grade recital!

Do you guys remember this dance?

Yes, you made us do it
so many times.

- We are doing it again,
we're doing it again.

Right now, right now.

Yes, we are.

- I'm not.
- Get up.

We need the whole gang,
whole gang.

We have to do it,
you have to do it.

Everybody.

Seven, eight.

Okay, oh, okay.
You go, your turn.

All right, never have I ever...

- Huh. Uh...

- Come on.
- Never have I ever...

- Never have I ever taken
turns in Palm Springs.

- How 'bout that?
- Oh, fuck you.

Wait, what the hell
is "taking turns"?

It's a threesome where it's like

what Chloe calls her
Palm Springs Threesome.

- What?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, no, it's not
exactly a threesome,

it's more like, um,

well, taking turns.

Like sleeping with one guy

and then another?

Mm-hm.
Exactly, yeah.

It's not just fucking,

like they take turns
going down on me.

- Oh, my God!
- Yeah, no, it's fine,

it's very polite, if you ask me.

- Okay, did you know these guys

before you took turns?

- Sort of.
- Oh, come on!

Chloe, you have
to tell the full story.

Okay, okay, so we call
this guy The Nodder.

- The Nodder?
- Tell her, tell her.

- Okay, so I was on

a birthday trip
with some friends,

and we rented this house.

And I had started hooking up

with this one guy.

He was like a friend
of a friend.

- Right.
- But then this other guy

came into the room,

and we were like getting going,

and he kind of
just stood in the door.

- Wow.
- You know, just watching.

And then he kind of
came a little closer.

And then he sat
on the edge of the bed,

and then I kind of looked at him

and he nodded at me.

And I nodded back at him.

And then I nodded at the guy
I was in bed with.

And then he nodded back at me.

And then it sort of
just happened.

- Wow.

- Isn't that crazy?

I still don't understand

how everyone knew
that a nod means sex.

- What the fuck else
is it supposed to mean?

- Hello?
- Thank you!

- But when you're naked,
it's pretty obvious.

I mean, it's kind of like
code for like...

- Let me get in there.
- Yeah, let me get in there.

Wow.

- Isn't that wild?
- Never gets old.

Anyway, okay, um...

Never have I ever...

Peed my pants at junior prom.

- No one even noticed that!
- You!

So it didn't count.

Actually, thanks to you guys.

- Yeah, right, you're welcome.
- No, Mr. Yarnelle, you remember?

Oh, my God.

There has been a spill.

Everyone, I repeat,

there has been a spill

by the punch bowl.

He was so fucking weird.

- I feel bad for him.
- Why?

Because he seemed
like a lonely guy.

- Okay, never have I ever

forgotten to brush my teeth.

- What?

So boring.

Whatever, okay.

Everyone should be drinking,

you've all forgotten
to brush your teeth.

- Yeah, I know.
- I haven't.

- But I knew
you wouldn't drink at all

if we didn't do some PG ones.

- That's true.
- I've done stuff.

- Like what?
- Well, it's not my turn,

so I don't have to say,

but I'm just saying
I've done stuff.

- Reading and knitting.
- Whatever.

I have a really good one.

Never have I ever

hooked up with a celebrity.

Who?

Who?

Who? Who? Who? Who?

Who?

Danielle, fucking tell us.

- I signed an NDA.

I literally,

legally cannot tell you who.

Are you fucking kidding me?

It's us, who the fuck
are we gonna tell?

We only know each other.

Fucking tell me, please, please.

Just a hint,
a little one, please.

- Please.
- Okay, okay, okay, okay.

- A tiny hint.
- Okay.

- Electric... caaarrrss.

Electric cars.

Holy shit.

He is like the richest man

in the entire world.

- He is?
- Yes!

How did you meet him?

- He called me.

Wait, what?

- I know, it was crazy.

Um, I was sitting on the toilet

clipping my toenails,

and I got this call.

Like from an assistant?

No, directly.

What, he just called you
on the phone?

- Yeah, I guess, um,

he got my number
from my manager and...

Okay, wait, okay,

so he just called you
on the phone

and asked you if
you wanted to hook up or?

- No, he didn't ask me
if I wanted to hook up.

He's like 45.

He asked me out.

Oh.

Thank God.

How did he even
find out about you?

Same way everyone else does.

Get the fuck out of here.

He watches your videos?

Are you kidding?

- What?

- He just seems so... smart.

- I know, right,

I mean, he's not
the first person

who I would think is a fan,

but this actor who I,
like, give juices to

is a mutual friend,

and I guess he showed him
my videos.

Wait, okay, so the actor friend,

is that Leo?

It's Leonardo, isn't it?

It's Leo,
did you sleep with Leo?

- You're obsessed.
- Danielle,

- did you sleep with Leo?
- No! Okay, you know what,

let's just get back to the game.

Don't tell me you have
some fucking bullshit NDA

- with him too.
- I did not sleep with Leo.

Okay, but you're friends
with him, right?

- Like you're tight?
- Yeah, I mean kind of.

He likes my juices.

- I bet he does.

- Ew, that is so gross.

This is insane!

Okay, so where did he take you?

I just told you
I never went out with him.

- No, she's talking
about Mr. Electric Car.

- Oh, um...

Well, it wasn't
exactly like a date.

Okay, this is like
pulling teeth, Danielle.

Jesus Christ, you better dish.

I'm gonna fucking kill you.

There's not much to tell.

It was brief and...

I don't... I don't know,

kinda weird.

- How was it weird?

- Okay, you guys,
I'm like really

not supposed to talk about this.

- Yeah, come on, guys,

if she doesn't want
to talk about it,

she doesn't have
to talk about it.

Oh, come on.

- If she says
she can't talk about it...

- Kaela, give me a break.

She can't just like drop
that she's fucking

the king of Silicon Valley,

and expect us to be like,

"Oh, okay,
we'll just drop it."

- She can because, guys,
we're playing a game.

Let's just get back to the game.

- I'll take my turn again.
- All right.

- Okay, so, never have I ever...
- All right, all right, all right.

- No, this is the game, Kaela.

We're supposed to talk about

the experiences that come up.

It's the whole fucking point.

Danielle's the one
who's not playing it.

- Do you not understand
the concept of an NDA?

- I guess we're just
too provincial

to understand such
sophisticated concepts.

- Okay, let's take a break.

Let's all just...

No, it's fucking bullshit.

I thought we were
your best friends.

I mean, who do you think
we're gonna tell?

Nobody gives a shit what you did

with Mr. Electric Car anyway.

Well, you could have fooled me.

- Just play the fucking game.

- We spent
a long weekend together.

- Hm.

Yeah?

And what?

He picked you up in a limo?

- He sent a car for me, yeah.

- And?

Then what?

- Then he took me
on his private plane.

And then

we flew to his island in Greece

and spent the weekend.

That's it.

- So, let me get this straight,

a limo picked you up

and took you to a plane.

Inside said plane
was a perfect stranger

who took you
to his private island,

fucked you,

and then you never heard
from him again.

- Lex, I think that's enough.

Does that sound about right,
Danielle?

- Let's move on.

- So you're a whore, basically.

My turn.

Never have I ever

bullied a perfectly
sweet and innocent girl

until she committed suicide.

Drink, Danielle.

Fucking drink.

Fucking drink.

Admit what you did, Danielle.

Admit you tortured Kelsey

until she jumped
out of a window.

It wasn't a fucking accident.

Admit it, you fucking bitch.

Ten, nine, eight, seven,

six, five, four, three,

two, one.

Happy fucking New Year.

Stop!

- Now, quick, tie her up!

Get the balloons, tie her up!

Kaela, what are you doing?

You agreed to do this.

Help!

Get the chair.

- Drink!
- Fucking drink.

Oh my God,

fucking Kelsey.

- What the fuck
are you guys doing?

Okay, I'm rolling.

- No! Not yet.

What is going on, you guys,

what are you doing?

- Clock struck 12.

I'm taking
Get Well Danielle's advice.

It's a new year
and this is the new me.

It's time to tell
everybody the truth.

- What are you talking about?

When we found out

that you were gonna be on TV,

we knew we had to stop you.

We're not gonna let you stand

in front of millions of people

and pretend to be

this perfect little princess

Queen of Wellness
psychotic phony.

The whole world deserves
to know the truth.

And I'm gonna tell them.

I'm gonna tell
the whole fucking world.

I'm gonna ruin your life.

Your whole perfect little life

is based on a lie.

You're a fraud,
you're a terrible person.

You're evil,
you bullied everyone.

You called Chloe fat
all the time.

She was bulimic for two years.

You called Kaela...

an ugly lesbian.

She was so traumatized
she didn't come out

till her mid-fucking-20s.

- Kaela...
Shut up!

All Kelsey wanted
was to be our friend,

but instead you tortured her.

You killed her.

And then you just moved on.

I know that night was traumatic.

We were both there.

We were both trying
to be her friend.

- No, we weren't trying
to be Kelsey's friend!

We tortured her!

You told me that
fucking with her

was for her own good,

that she was a fat, ugly loser

who needed our help
to become cool.

- Guys, I never said that.

And I fucking listened to you.

I believed you

because you had power over me.

Just like you've got power
over this army

of narcissistic
little fucking brats

who are taking over the world,

spreading and liking
your bullshit

like it's a fuckin' disease.

You do not deserve

to tell people
to love themselves

when you've spent
your entire life

making people feel like shit!

But not anymore.

It's time to tell the world

what a terrible person you are.

I think that's, um...

I think that's a good idea.

Hey guys.

It's Danielle.

Um, I'm just here
with my friends

and we were talking about
some pretty deep stuff.

Stuff that actually
speaks to an issue

I keep coming back to
in a lot of my work

that, um, I think
all of us struggle with.

The sins of the past.

When we hold onto bad things

we've done in the past, it can...

It can have all sorts of...

deleterious effects on our body.

Acne,

weight gain,

insomnia.

So in order to avoid

these terrible
physical ailments,

we need to move through
our sins.

We need to confess.

When I was 16
a friend of mine died.

Her name is Kelsey,

and she was...

an amazing young person

with so much life ahead of her.

But her classmates
teased her mercilessly.

They would call her
an ugly bitch,

a loser.

She would come home from school

every day crying.

When I think about a...

poor innocent girl

going through
something like that,

it just...

gosh, it just makes me sick.

But I was complicit.

My sin...

My sin...

Is that I didn't do anything
to stop them.

God.

God, that feels good

to get that off my chest.

- Wow.

That wasn't
a fucking confession.

- Thank you for that opportunity.

God.

- You feeling
a little camera shy?

Hm? Gotta get camera ready

before your close-up?

You like that?

Don't worry,
it's all cruelty free.

- Alexis, honey, calm down.

Anger is a junk emotion,

okay, let it go.

- Don't you tell me to calm down.

I'm fucking tired
of feeling like shit

because you tell me
to love myself.

- Loving yourself is
the most natural thing

in the world, sweetie.

People unlearn it in childhood.

- You know why they unlearn it?

Because people like you
torment them.

- No.

- Lex.

Alexis!

Alexis!

What the fuck is wrong with you?

- Where the fuck are you going?

Watch her.

- Chlo.

I have no idea

what Lex is talking about
with Kelsey.

But she did say something...

I may have overlooked
in the past.

I am so sorry about
the way I treated you

in high school.

If I could take it all back,

I would.

I'm not that person anymore,

and I can't say it enough,

but I'm sorry.

- Well, I appreciate you
saying that.

Thank you.

- Lovebug.
- Hey.

- Hey.
- Happy New Year.

- Happy New Year.

- I miss you.
- I miss you too.

Why don't you come back tonight?

Do you have to sleep over?

Yeah, my car broke down,
so I have to...

I'm just kind of stuck here.

I gotta wait for Alexis

to give me a ride back down,
so...

- Do you want me to come get you?

No.

No, I'll just go to sleep

and I will see you tomorrow.

Kaela?
Open the door.

I just don't know why

someone would do
something like this.

Like, setting aside the fact

that telling people

I bullied Kelsey to death

could destroy my career,

even though it's something
I didn't even do,

it wouldn't just hurt me, Chlo.

It would hurt a lot
of other people too.

Young women rely on me for help.

For inspiration.

I feel really bad for her.

Like, she had all of
these hopes and dreams

about the future, but...

she just has nothing
going for her,

and no potential.

- Yeah?

Well, neither do I.

So fuck you.

- What?

Chloe, that is not true.

- That is a story you tell yourself.
- Whatever.

- You're funny,

honest,

sexy.

I mean, you can be
whatever you want.

You have no idea
how good you are.

- Hey.

- Hey.
- What's up?

- Nothing, I just had to pee.

Look, Lex,
I never agreed to this, okay?

You said that the plan
was just to spook her

into admitting
what she did to Kelsey,

but she said
she didn't do that stuff.

- Kaela, of course
she did that stuff.

What,
you think I'm making it up?

Jesus Christ.

Look,
we're gonna get it out of her,

we just need to push her
a little further.

- I'm not comfortable with that.

I'm not gonna torture someone.

- What the fuck?

We're not torturing her.

- Fine, whatever.

I just...

I didn't agree for it
to go this far.

- This far?
- Well, what did you expect?

The woman in that room's
a psychopath

responsible for the death
of an innocent person,

and we need to protect
other girls

from her evil.

- Danielle's not evil.

- Look, I wasn't gonna...

I wasn't gonna bring this up

in front of the other girls,
obviously, but...

Jesse is looking for someone

to take over my segment
on their channel,

and I get to be the one
to pick my replacement.

And to be honest,

the main reason
I came here tonight

was because I had a feeling

you might be a good fit.

- Really?

- I'm serious, Chlo.

- You better not be
fucking with me right now.

Why would I be fucking with you?

Look, why don't you
just come out to LA

and... stay with me
for a little bit?

We can come up with a pitch

for your segment together.

I can bring you around,

introduce you to people.

To guys.

I mean, it'll be really fun.

- Yeah.

Chloe.

I know that you're hurting.

I know the pain
you're covering up

with your jokes.

I know you're lonely.

I know you're worried
about your mother.

But I can change
all of that for you.

We can change all of that.

Together.

We just gotta deal with
this situation first.

She's preying on people

who are as insecure
as Kelsey was.

If that's not evil,

then I don't know what is.

Maybe she doesn't call them
vile losers,

but she sure as hell
makes them feel like that

when they compare
themselves to her.

And she's doing it all

under the guise
of helping people.

- Maybe she is.
- Don't start, Kaela.

You agreed to do this.

You're not bailing.

Alexis... Alexis!

What are you doing?

Tightening the ties.

The truth is gonna come out,
Danielle.

One way or another.

We're not gonna leave you alone

until you admit

what you did to Kelsey.

Lex.

I didn't give you that scar.

Kelsey did.

Chloe, stop!

Guys, you're being punished.

What's going on?

They locked us in here.

We can't get out.

Guys, come on, please.

Guys.

- Fuck, she's not gonna
let us out of here.

She's fucking insane.

She's out of her fucking mind.

- Look!
- They're not gonna come, Kaela.

Fine!
But Chloe with come. Chloe!

No, neither of them
are gonna come.

I'm telling you,
she's fucking insane.

What are you talking about?

You're insane, Alexis!

Come on, guys, please, please!

- Stop wasting your energy.

So what?

Just gonna die in a steam room?

I thought if I just
went along with this,

you could get some closure

and move on with your life.

So what?

So she made fun of me
for being gay.

I don't care.

I have
a great fucking girlfriend

who I'm maybe never
gonna see again

because I'm gonna die
in a steam room.

This is so stupid.

You don't want
to think about her?

Don't go on Instagram.

Who cares if she's
some dumb internet celebrity?

You don't have
to look at her stuff.

Why don't you go outside

or get a fucking dog?

Finish your degree

like you're always
talking about.

You guys suck so fucking much.

You're
the stupidest fucking people

in the entire world.

Fuck.

Jesus fuck.

Inhale.

And now repeat the mantra.

Nothing stands between me

and all of my desires.

- Nothing stands between me

and all of my desires.

- Perfect.

So any time
you feel your mind wandering

or you're getting anxious,

just repeat that mantra

as many times as you need

and you will be amazed

at the things that start
to happen for you.

- Nothing stands between me

and all of my desires.

- Yes.

- How much longer?

- Um, I think a couple hours

should be fine.

- What then?

- Then we'll call the cops,

tell them that they got stuck
in the steam room

when we were watching a movie,

and they were dead
when we found them.

- Wait, what?

- What?

- I... I just thought
the plan was, like,

to scare them, you know,

so they wouldn't spread lies
or whatever.

- Oh yeah, no, it was.

I mean, if I trusted
that they wouldn't spread

these terrible rumors
that could ruin us,

I would let them go, but...

I mean, you know them
better than I do

at this point.

And remember,

you have utter power

over everything in your life.

You can say no to anything

with complete ease and trust.

If you think scaring them

is enough to shut them up,

then we'll just scare them.

- I mean, probably, yeah.

- Okay,
then we'll just scare them.

- Okay.

I mean, I would just...

be nervous that
if we let them go

and they spread
these terrible rumors,

I mean, you know how it is

with mob mentality
on the internet, right?

It's not innocent
until proven guilty.

Right.

Or they would tell the cops

we were trying to kill them

even though we were just
trying to scare them.

But honestly,

whatever you think.

I don't want to do anything

that makes you feel
uncomfortable.

Do you trust them
not to say a word?

Nothing stands between me

and all of my desires.

- Shit.

- Please.
- Kaela. Go on.

- Nothing stands between you

and all of your desires.

- Okay.

Shit, shit, it's locked.

- Fuck! Fuck!

They must have taken the key.

- Shit.

Fucking me?

Shit, it won't open.

Fucking...

- Try it!

I can't get it!

I can't get it.

Fuck.

Come on, Chloe!
What the fuck?

Let's go!

Wait.

Chloe, come on!

Go find them.

Are you okay?

I'm so sorry
I dragged you into this.

All right.

I don't know what's going on.

She's totally crazy.

- I'm gonna get us out of this.

- How?
- Fuck, I don't know.

I just...
I need a second to think.

All the windows are sealed.

If I can just...
If I can just get to my phone.

- They took our phones.
- I know,

but they must be somewhere
downstairs.

If I can just get to my phone

then I can call the cops.

- No, Alexis, Alexis, listen,

listen to me,
do not go out there alone.

- I'm gonna fix it.
- No.

Alexis, no, no, Alexis.

- Nothing stands between me

and all of my desires.

Are you in here?

Kaela?

Alexis?

- It's okay, it's just me.

- Okay, it's just me.
- Where's Alexis?

- She's not here, okay?

We're all alone.

Listen, Chlo.

I don't know what
Danielle said to you,

but we can still
walk away from this.

Okay?

You and me,

we can just walk away.

All we need to do is just...

just call the cops and tell them

that she went nuts.

- There's no fucking way
I'm calling the cops.

No fucking way.

- Chloe, I would never tell them

that you were part of this.

I would never do that.

Chloe, come on.

You trust me, right?

Look, we can just...

We can just leave.

We gotta go right now.

We can just walk away right now.

Right now.

Yeah?

Come on, Chloe, you and me.

Trust me.

We'll just go home

and we can go back
to our normal lives, okay...

- I don't want to go back
to my normal life.

- Chloe, come on, stop it.

- My normal life is shit.

- Let go of me, you're hurting...

- You just want me to stay small.
- Stop it!

- You don't want me to succeed!

- Let go of me!

Fuck!

Oh.

Come out, Lex!

We weren't trying to hurt you.

We were just trying

to scare you.

And if you promise

not to say anything
about this Kelsey stuff,

we can just let all of this go.

- Kaela.

Kaela!

No.

No.

Ow, fuck!

Fuck!

What's wrong, Chlo?

I...

I killed Kaela.

Wow, Chlo.

- It was an accident.

I... I went to grab her

and she just... oh my God.

- I'm so proud of you.

You're finally
putting yourself first.

That is how you achieve
your dreams.

I'm really impressed.

You're really manifesting

everything you've always wanted.

Aw.

It's not your fault.

It was an accident.

Accidents happen.

The only thing we can control

is how we handle
our given circumstances.

And you handled it
so beautifully.

- Oh...

Nothing stands between me

and all of my desires.

Who the fuck is that?

- Shit, it's Frankie,
Kaela's girlfriend.

What the fuck is she doing here?

- How the fuck should I know?

What do we do?

Okay. Um...

Hello?

Okay, I've got it.

We let her in.

When she isn't looking,
you get the knife

and you take care of her, okay?

Then when the cops come,

we'll say that she showed up

in a fit of jealousy

because Kaela broke up with her

and she wanted revenge.

- God, you're good at this.

- Yeah.

And it's
kind of an amazing story

because then I can do
a whole segment on,

like, self defense.

Hm.

- You okay to do this?

- Mm-hm.
- Okay.

Let her in.

- Okay.

Frankie, hey!

What are you doing here?

- Um, Kaela called earlier,
so I...

- Oh my God, you're Frankie!

Oh my God.

It is so nice to meet you.

I have heard so much about you.

Kaela is absolutely
in love with you.

- Well, the feeling is mutual.

- I'm Danielle.

- Nice to meet you.
- You too.

- Heard a lot about you.
- Oh!

That's sweet.

- Is Kaela okay?

Yeah, why wouldn't she be?

Of course.

What do you mean?

She just seemed upset and...

uh, she's not answering
her phone.

Oh, she just missed you.

Mm-hm.

She already fell asleep.

I mean, classic K, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, she's pretty much
head to pillow.

- Mm-hm.

- Oh, shit, I forgot something.

Sorry.

Did she make it to midnight?

She did.

Actually we were very proud.

My sister is obsessed with you.

Oh!

She watches all your videos,

does all your workouts.

Um, no dairy, no gluten,

and she got really into
the juices you advertise,

the, uh...

- Very Very Vegetables.

- Yes.
- Yeah!

Yes, the Very Very Vegetables.

Do you want me to take a look

at the fuse box or anything?

- Oh, you're so sweet.

No, it's okay.

Um, we're heading to bed soon
anyway.

All right.

- Holy shit.

- Good job, Chlo.

Come here.

Okay?

- Mm-hm.

- You...

did so good.

- Yeah.

- We're gonna get you to LA, okay?

- Uh huh.

- We're gonna get you
out of here tonight.

You are gonna get everything

you've always wanted.

- Nothing stands between me

and all of my desires.

It's time to move on, Alexis.

It's time to say yes to healing.

It's time to say yes
to letting go.

Your life doesn't need
to be tight.

It can be messy.

- Let go of control and order.
- Nothing stands between me...

- You're just chum in the water.
- And all of my desires.

Give up.

Relax into your destiny.

And all of my desires.

- Chlo!

Oh my God!

Ow!

It's time to stop
doing the ego dance.

Time to stop looking
to the outside world

for validation.

I see so much strength in you,
Alexis.

You're so misguided.

Let me help you.

We're not supposed
to be enemies.

Lex, if you thought
for one fucking second

I was gonna admit
Kelsey died 'cause of me,

you were a bigger fucking idiot

than I thought.

I'm fucking rich.

Do you get that?

People worship me.

And this is just the beginning.

I'm gonna have magazines,

TV shows, movies.

I'm gonna be in movies

and you think
I'd throw that all away?

- You ruined my life!

You took everything!

I got stuck with this.

It should have been me.

It was supposed to be me.

I worked so hard!

- You think it was
supposed to be you,

you pathetic piece of shit?

You're a fucking loser!

You are nothing!

You're invisible!

You pathetic piece of shit!

You could never achieve
what I've achieved.

You could never have
what I have.

You are nothing!

- I control my destiny!

I control what I hold onto,

and I control what I let go!

- Hey guys.

As I'm sure many of you heard,

our dear friend and contributor

Get Well Danielle passed away

on New Year's Day.

And here with us today

to help us remember her

is her best friend, Alexis.

Thank you for joining us,
Alexis.

- Thank you for having me.

- So, I read on the news,

and I don't want to get
too gruesome here,

but it was a jealous lover

of one of your friends?

- Yes, Danielle had encouraged

our friend Kaela
that she deserved better,

that she should start
the new year fresh

and find someone
who really loved her.

And I guess Kaela's partner

just took it really hard

and lost it.

- What do you want the world

to remember most about Danielle?

- It's hard
to just pick one thing.

She was a wonderful person.

And I know she'd just want me

to move through this

and live my fullest life.

This experience
has taught me so much,

especially the value
of self defense.

- That's right,
you're gonna teach us today

how to make your own
DIY pepper spray.

Yes, I am.

Now there's one thing

that you always need
in your bag,

and that's pepper spray.

I'm gonna show you

how to make
your own pepper spray

using household ingredients.

- Wow!

- Now before we get started,

please make sure you're wearing

your protective glasses

and your Latex gloves,

because this stuff is spicy!

- Oh my gosh.

- Okay, so we're gonna need

vinegar, chili flakes,

red chili powder,

oil, a bowl, and a spray bottle.

- Oh, yay!
- So don't cross me, Jess.

- Oh my gosh, stop it!

- You watch out!