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1
00:00:12,714 --> 00:00:14,216
Zotz!
2
00:00:14,216 --> 00:00:15,217
Zotz?
3
00:00:16,718 --> 00:00:18,220
What's Zotz?
4
00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:53,281
One.
5
00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:55,283
Two.
6
00:01:56,785 --> 00:01:58,286
Three.
7
00:02:03,291 --> 00:02:04,292
Uncle Jonathan.
8
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,311
Morning,
Uncle Jonathan.
9
00:02:23,311 --> 00:02:25,313
Morning, darling
10
00:02:29,818 --> 00:02:31,319
Poison. Slow death.
11
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:33,321
Yes, but what
a way to go.
12
00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:39,828
Straight sauerkraut juice!
13
00:02:39,828 --> 00:02:41,329
How do you do it?
Very bracing.
14
00:02:41,830 --> 00:02:43,832
You must try it sometime.
15
00:02:43,832 --> 00:02:44,833
How's the wheat germ?
16
00:02:46,334 --> 00:02:47,836
Sounds good.
17
00:02:47,836 --> 00:02:49,838
Superb.
18
00:02:49,838 --> 00:02:51,339
Oh, that must be the mailman.
No, I'll get it.
19
00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:54,342
I'm expecting a journal of the
American Etymological Society.
20
00:03:05,854 --> 00:03:07,856
Anything for me?
21
00:03:07,856 --> 00:03:10,859
Just a postcard from
your vacationing parents.
Hey, Venice, very pretty
22
00:03:10,859 --> 00:03:13,361
Nothing from Eddie?
Eddie? Who's Eddie?
23
00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:16,865
You know very well who
Eddie is. Eddie Prentiss.
24
00:03:16,865 --> 00:03:19,367
One of your brightest
pupils last term.
25
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:21,369
Prentiss. Prentiss.
26
00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:25,373
The boy who won a fellowship
and went on an archaeological
expedition to Uk... Uk...
27
00:03:25,373 --> 00:03:27,375
Uh, Ukranistan?
28
00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:28,877
Yes. That is from Eddie.
29
00:03:28,877 --> 00:03:30,879
Only teasing you, darling.
30
00:03:33,882 --> 00:03:37,886
Oh, look, a present.
It's a charm bracelet.
31
00:03:39,888 --> 00:03:42,390
Mmm, it's very pretty.
What does Prentiss
have to say?
32
00:03:45,393 --> 00:03:48,396
Just a lot of personal
stuff. You know.
33
00:03:48,396 --> 00:03:49,397
I know.
34
00:03:52,901 --> 00:03:54,903
But he says
he'll be home soon.
35
00:03:54,903 --> 00:03:57,405
They found the ruins
they were looking for.
36
00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:58,907
Mmm. Excellent.
37
00:04:00,909 --> 00:04:05,413
In fact, the charm
on the bracelet is
some ancient coin
38
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:08,416
he found in a temple
they uncovered there.
39
00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:14,422
It was attached to the
right hand of a gigantic
stone idol, he says.
40
00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:19,928
It's a relic from some
ancient civilization.
Isn't that exciting?
41
00:04:20,929 --> 00:04:21,930
Mmm.
42
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:23,491
"Shesh, shash."
43
00:05:58,026 --> 00:06:00,528
Shesh, shash.
44
00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:03,031
Jones!
Morning, Kellgore.
45
00:06:03,031 --> 00:06:05,033
You almost ran me down.
46
00:06:05,033 --> 00:06:08,036
Oh, I'm very sorry.
But I didn't, did I?
47
00:06:08,036 --> 00:06:10,038
No, but you ca
me awfully close.
48
00:06:10,038 --> 00:06:15,043
Please accept my apologies,
old man. Shesh, shash.
49
00:06:15,043 --> 00:06:16,544
Uh, what'd you say?
50
00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:19,547
What? Say? Oh, nothing,
Kellgore, nothing.
51
00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:22,550
Well, it sounded like
you said "shesh, shash."
52
00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:24,052
Oh, yes, I did.
Quite right.
53
00:06:24,052 --> 00:06:26,054
Yes. Shesh, shash.
54
00:06:27,055 --> 00:06:29,557
Morning, Kellgore.
Morning, Jones.
55
00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:43,571
Good morning.
56
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:46,074
Good morning,
Professor.
57
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:54,082
Yesterday, we considered the
transmutation of certain words
58
00:06:54,082 --> 00:06:56,584
from the Assyro Babylonic.
59
00:06:56,584 --> 00:07:01,089
And we noted that the Assyro
Babylonic word for house, bitu,
60
00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:05,093
appears in the
classical Hebrew as...
61
00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:07,595
As what, Mr. Crane?
62
00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:09,597
Uh, bayeth.
63
00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:11,599
Well, almost right, Mr. Crane.
Thank you.
64
00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:15,103
The correct pronunciation
is bayeth.
65
00:07:15,103 --> 00:07:18,106
And who can tell us what form
the word takes in Aramaic?
66
00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:21,109
Yes, Miss Blakiston?
67
00:07:21,109 --> 00:07:22,610
Baytha
68
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,612
Quite right, Miss Blakisto
Thank you.
69
00:07:25,113 --> 00:07:27,615
You could build a tremendous
edifice of error
70
00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:32,120
based on the fact
that the Hebrew and
Sanskrit words for "six"
71
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:35,623
are almost identical,
although wholly unrelated.
72
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:40,128
They are,
if I may remind you,
sheshand shash.
73
00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:42,630
Shesh, shash?
74
00:07:43,131 --> 00:07:46,134
Uh, yes, sir. Right in
the middle of the campus,
this morning. Shesh, shash
75
00:07:46,134 --> 00:07:48,136
Professor Kellgore, I don't
think we need worry ourselves.
76
00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:52,640
Professor Jones is a very
brilliant man in the field of
ancient Eastern languages,
77
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,643
as you are brilliant
in the field of modern
European languages.
78
00:07:55,643 --> 00:08:00,148
I think we can allow
him a few little
peculiarities, hmm?
79
00:08:00,148 --> 00:08:03,151
Sir, I'm sure that
Professor Jones is
excellent in the classroom.
80
00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:04,652
Well, then?
81
00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:06,654
But his executive ability...
82
00:08:07,155 --> 00:08:09,157
Could Saracen Valley
have a dean of language
83
00:08:09,157 --> 00:08:11,159
who goes around
muttering "shesh, shash"?
84
00:08:11,659 --> 00:08:14,662
Hmm. Well, I haven't
retired yet, Professor,
85
00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:16,664
nor have I named
my successor.
86
00:08:16,664 --> 00:08:19,667
It's still a choice between
you and Professor Jones.
87
00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:21,169
Then you haven't
decided yet?
88
00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:23,671
Not yet.
89
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:26,174
Then you'll take this
"shesh, shash"matter
under consideration?
90
00:08:26,174 --> 00:08:27,675
Oh, I will, I will.
91
00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:29,177
Thank you, Professor.
Good morning.
92
00:08:29,177 --> 00:08:31,179
Good morning, Dean.
Good morning.
93
00:08:35,183 --> 00:08:36,184
Shesh, shash.
94
00:08:59,207 --> 00:09:00,208
Uncle Jonathan?
95
00:09:00,208 --> 00:09:02,210
Yes.
96
00:09:02,210 --> 00:09:04,712
How was your day?
Oh, fine.
97
00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:07,215
What's for dinner?
Filet of eggplant?
98
00:09:07,215 --> 00:09:09,217
Filet of eggplant.
Medium rare?
99
00:09:09,217 --> 00:09:10,718
Of course.
Ah!
100
00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:13,721
Mmm.
101
00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:24,732
Oh, pass the
monosodium glutamate, please.
102
00:09:25,233 --> 00:09:26,734
Thank you.
103
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:29,237
Say, you know, dear,
he really shouldn't have
sent this to you.
104
00:09:29,237 --> 00:09:31,739
That's rightfully
the property of...
105
00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,741
Why, it's Astyparaean!
Asty what?
106
00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:35,743
Hey, that's mine.
Yes, yes, I know.
107
00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,245
But if you don't...
It's from Eddie.
108
00:09:37,245 --> 00:09:40,748
It's like a fraternity pin
or an engagement ring.
109
00:09:41,249 --> 00:09:42,250
But you don't
understand, darling.
110
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:44,752
That inscription is
in the ancient
Astyparaean language.
111
00:09:45,253 --> 00:09:46,754
Am I supposed to
know what that is?
112
00:09:46,754 --> 00:09:48,756
It's a language
that's been dead
for over 5,000 years.
113
00:09:49,257 --> 00:09:52,260
Why, there are only 10 men
in the world who can identify
it, much less translate it.
114
00:09:52,260 --> 00:09:53,761
And I can.
But...
115
00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:57,765
Now, look, dear,
maybe this inscription is
an ancient love poem.
116
00:09:57,765 --> 00:10:00,268
Something Eddie would
want you to hear, hmm?
117
00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:03,771
Well...
Ah, yes, of course.
118
00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:10,778
"First graspeth thou the
sacred disk in thy left hand.
119
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:19,787
"Now cometh the
letting of, letting of..."
120
00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:34,802
Letting of...
121
00:10:48,316 --> 00:10:51,819
Blood, of course.
"Letting of blood.
122
00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:58,326
"And the drinking.
.. Drinking of blood."
123
00:11:02,330 --> 00:11:07,335
"Now remaineth
only the pronouncing
124
00:11:07,335 --> 00:11:10,338
"of the sacred...
125
00:11:12,340 --> 00:11:18,346
"Sacred name of
the great god, Zotz!"
126
00:11:44,238 --> 00:11:47,241
No! Please! Please!
Let me in!
127
00:11:47,742 --> 00:11:51,746
Please! You can't leave me out
in this storm. Not like this.
128
00:12:00,755 --> 00:12:02,256
Put this on quickly!
129
00:12:10,264 --> 00:12:11,265
Oh. Thanks.
130
00:12:11,265 --> 00:12:13,267
You're welcome.
Now, please go.
131
00:12:13,267 --> 00:12:16,270
Like this?
Well, you can't stay here.
132
00:12:16,270 --> 00:12:19,774
But I have to.
It's the most amazing thing
that's ever happened to me.
133
00:12:19,774 --> 00:12:23,277
I'm not going to embarrass
you by asking you how
you got into this condition.
134
00:12:23,778 --> 00:12:24,779
After all, I'm
a man of the world.
135
00:12:25,279 --> 00:12:27,281
I was struck by lightning.
You were what?
136
00:12:27,782 --> 00:12:31,786
Well, I was hurrying
along, trying to beat out
this sudden storm, when...
137
00:12:31,786 --> 00:12:33,788
Well, I think I was
struck by lightning.
138
00:12:33,788 --> 00:12:36,791
Mmm. I have heard of cases
where people were struck
139
00:12:36,791 --> 00:12:39,794
by lightning and had
their clothes torn off
without hurting them.
140
00:12:39,794 --> 00:12:43,297
Usually these people
were branded by
the mark of the bolt.
141
00:12:46,801 --> 00:12:47,802
I seem to be all right.
142
00:12:48,302 --> 00:12:51,305
Oh, I'm glad to hear it.
But you can't stay here.
143
00:12:51,806 --> 00:12:54,809
I mean, I'm a bachelor.
I don't have a wife.
I'm not married.
144
00:12:54,809 --> 00:12:56,310
Well, what can I do?
145
00:12:56,310 --> 00:12:58,813
Do? What can
you do? I don't... My niece!
146
00:12:58,813 --> 00:13:01,816
I'll wake her up. Uh, no.
147
00:13:02,316 --> 00:13:05,319
She might think...
I mean, not that she'd
have any real... I mean...
148
00:13:05,820 --> 00:13:07,822
I'll go upstairs and get
some of her clothes.
They'll probably fit.
149
00:13:08,322 --> 00:13:11,826
I think you're about
the same size. Anyway,
you wait right here.
150
00:13:11,826 --> 00:13:14,328
Oh, I will. I will.
151
00:13:32,346 --> 00:13:33,848
Uncle Jonathan?
152
00:13:33,848 --> 00:13:36,851
Oh, it's all right, dear.
Go back to sleep.
153
00:13:36,851 --> 00:13:39,854
Well, what...
Nothing.
Just let it go.
154
00:13:55,620 --> 00:13:58,122
There. Now, please go!
155
00:13:58,122 --> 00:13:59,624
Well, can I put
them on first?
156
00:14:00,124 --> 00:14:03,628
Oh, oh, yes, of course.
I'll, uh, turn my back.
157
00:14:03,628 --> 00:14:04,629
Oh, thanks.
158
00:14:06,130 --> 00:14:08,132
You haven't asked
me my name.
159
00:14:08,132 --> 00:14:11,636
No, I haven't.
Uh, I thought it was
better that way.
160
00:14:12,637 --> 00:14:14,138
I agree.
161
00:14:15,139 --> 00:14:16,140
Do they, uh, fit?
162
00:14:16,641 --> 00:14:17,642
Most of them.
163
00:14:17,642 --> 00:14:19,644
The shoes are
a little big, and the...
164
00:14:20,144 --> 00:14:24,148
Something else is
a little small,
but I'll get by.
165
00:14:27,151 --> 00:14:29,654
What? Oh, yes.
You can turn around now.
166
00:14:36,661 --> 00:14:39,163
Will I do?
167
00:14:39,664 --> 00:14:42,667
Well, at least
you won't be cold.
168
00:14:43,167 --> 00:14:45,670
I want to thank you.
Not only for what you did,
169
00:14:46,170 --> 00:14:48,172
but for what
you're going to do.
170
00:14:48,172 --> 00:14:49,674
Going to do?
171
00:14:49,674 --> 00:14:54,178
Forget about this.
Oh, yes, yes, of course.
Of course.
172
00:14:54,178 --> 00:14:57,181
Oh, you'd better
take this with you.
173
00:14:59,183 --> 00:15:01,686
Oh. Oh, no, it's stopped.
174
00:15:02,186 --> 00:15:03,688
It has?
175
00:15:05,690 --> 00:15:07,692
Why, so it has. Odd.
176
00:15:07,692 --> 00:15:11,696
"So foul and fair
a day I have not seen."
177
00:15:11,696 --> 00:15:13,197
That's Shakespeare.
178
00:15:13,197 --> 00:15:15,700
Macbeth,Act One, I know.
179
00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:17,201
You do?
Uh-huh.
180
00:15:17,201 --> 00:15:19,203
Well.
Good night.
181
00:15:19,203 --> 00:15:20,705
Uh, good night.
182
00:15:24,709 --> 00:15:27,211
Macbeth.Act One.
183
00:15:37,054 --> 00:15:41,058
And there are other
basic affinities in the
languages of this group.
184
00:15:41,058 --> 00:15:44,562
For example,
in all of them,
ancient and modern,
185
00:15:45,062 --> 00:15:50,067
masculine nouns take a
feminine number, and vice
versa, from three to 10.
186
00:15:50,568 --> 00:15:54,071
Who can give us an
example of this
grammatical idiosyncrasy?
187
00:15:55,072 --> 00:15:56,073
Yes, Mr. Crane?
188
00:15:58,075 --> 00:16:01,579
Are you all right,
Mr. Crane? Would you
like to be excused?
189
00:16:01,579 --> 00:16:03,581
Uh, no. I'm all right now.
190
00:16:03,581 --> 00:16:06,584
Uh, it must have
been something I ate.
191
00:16:07,084 --> 00:16:11,589
Uh, an example.
The word for "goat,"
for instance, is
192
00:16:11,589 --> 00:16:14,091
masculine, but three
goats is feminine.
193
00:16:14,592 --> 00:16:17,094
Oh, very good, Mr. Crane.
That's quite right.
194
00:16:17,094 --> 00:16:20,598
And now, who can tell
us in what parts of
the modern world
195
00:16:21,098 --> 00:16:22,600
the Turkish
language is spoken?
196
00:16:24,602 --> 00:16:25,603
Yes, Miss Blakiston.
197
00:16:30,608 --> 00:16:33,611
Actually, although
it's not generally known,
198
00:16:33,611 --> 00:16:37,615
Osmanli is the head
of a large family
of tongues.
199
00:16:37,615 --> 00:16:42,620
The Turkish language in its
several dialects is spoken
from Central Persia to...
200
00:16:47,625 --> 00:16:50,127
Is something wrong,
Professor Jones?
201
00:16:51,629 --> 00:16:55,633
Uh, wrong? Oh, no, no,
Miss Blakiston.
202
00:16:55,633 --> 00:16:58,636
From Central
Persia to Siberia.
203
00:16:58,636 --> 00:17:01,639
The dialects sometimes
differ greatly.
204
00:17:01,639 --> 00:17:02,640
For example...
205
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,142
Uh, that's fine,
Miss Blakiston, thank you.
206
00:17:05,142 --> 00:17:06,644
But I haven't finished.
207
00:17:06,644 --> 00:17:08,646
Class dismissed.
208
00:17:32,169 --> 00:17:38,175
"Thus is gained
the ancient threefold power,
209
00:17:40,678 --> 00:17:45,683
"the first part
of which is that
210
00:17:46,183 --> 00:17:49,687
"of the pointing finger,
211
00:17:51,689 --> 00:17:57,194
"known as the power
of the sudden pain."
212
00:18:01,699 --> 00:18:03,701
The sudden pain.
213
00:18:30,027 --> 00:18:31,529
My goodness.
214
00:18:35,032 --> 00:18:41,038
"The second part of
which is that
215
00:18:42,039 --> 00:18:47,545
"of the uttered name,
216
00:18:49,547 --> 00:18:53,551
"known as the power
217
00:18:54,051 --> 00:18:59,557
"of retarded movement."
218
00:19:14,071 --> 00:19:15,072
Zotz!
219
00:19:30,087 --> 00:19:33,090
Mercy sakes.
220
00:19:33,090 --> 00:19:40,097
"The third and
last part of which
is that of the
221
00:19:40,097 --> 00:19:45,603
"pointing finger and the
uttered name together."
222
00:19:47,605 --> 00:19:48,606
Well...
223
00:19:50,107 --> 00:19:51,609
Zotz!
224
00:19:55,613 --> 00:19:56,614
The silent death.
225
00:20:03,237 --> 00:20:07,741
"He who holdeth this
sacred disk shall be
226
00:20:07,741 --> 00:20:12,246
"imbued with this dreaded
threefold power
227
00:20:12,246 --> 00:20:17,751
"only so long as it remains
in his possession.
228
00:20:17,751 --> 00:20:21,255
"And should it
pass into the
hands of another,
229
00:20:21,255 --> 00:20:27,761
"that other will
hold the power
230
00:20:27,761 --> 00:20:29,763
"for a short time only."
231
00:20:31,765 --> 00:20:32,766
Hmm.
232
00:21:08,602 --> 00:21:09,603
Zotz!
233
00:21:29,123 --> 00:21:30,624
Good afternoon, Jones.
234
00:21:31,125 --> 00:21:32,626
Oh, hello, Kellgore.
235
00:21:32,626 --> 00:21:35,129
Uh, what have you got ther
It looks like a lizard.
236
00:21:35,129 --> 00:21:37,631
Lizard? Where? Oh, this.
Oh, this lizard. Oh, yes.
237
00:21:37,631 --> 00:21:40,634
Yes, a remarkable
example of saurian life.
238
00:21:40,634 --> 00:21:42,636
Yes, direct descendant
of the dinosaur.
239
00:21:42,636 --> 00:21:45,139
Is that so? I didn't kno
w you were interested
in that sort of thing.
240
00:21:45,639 --> 00:21:48,142
Oh, yes. Yes, indeed.
Fascinating subject.
241
00:21:48,642 --> 00:21:50,644
Mmm. You don't say.
242
00:21:50,644 --> 00:21:54,148
Oh, incidentally, Jones,
I suppose you've met our new
colleague, Professor Fenster?
243
00:21:54,648 --> 00:21:57,651
No, I haven't.
What's Professor
Fenster's field?
244
00:21:57,651 --> 00:22:01,155
Modern European languages,
or so I'm told.
245
00:22:01,155 --> 00:22:02,656
Why, that's your field.
246
00:22:02,656 --> 00:22:05,159
Yes, it is. One might almost
think they're considering,
247
00:22:05,159 --> 00:22:07,161
what do you call it?
Kicking me upstairs.
248
00:22:08,662 --> 00:22:11,165
Yeah. Or downstairs.
249
00:22:11,165 --> 00:22:15,169
Yes. Well, toodle-oo, Jone
Have fun with your dinosaur.
250
00:22:16,670 --> 00:22:17,671
Toodle-oo.
251
00:22:36,690 --> 00:22:37,691
Zotz!
252
00:22:42,696 --> 00:22:43,697
Extraordinary!
253
00:22:51,205 --> 00:22:52,706
Zo...
254
00:22:56,210 --> 00:22:58,212
Professor Jones,
are you feeling all right?
255
00:22:58,212 --> 00:23:01,215
Yes, sir,
never better. Yes.
256
00:23:01,215 --> 00:23:04,718
I understand you
dismissed your
class early today?
257
00:23:05,219 --> 00:23:09,723
Why, yes, yes.
I gave them a heavy
assignment for the weekend.
258
00:23:09,723 --> 00:23:12,726
I thought I'd better
let them get to the
library before it closed
259
00:23:13,227 --> 00:23:16,230
But the library is open
until 8:00 tonight.
260
00:23:16,730 --> 00:23:20,734
8:00? Oh, yes, so it is.
Yes. Hard to keep up with
these new rules.
261
00:23:20,734 --> 00:23:25,739
That rule's been in
effect ever since 1918.
But no matter.
262
00:23:25,739 --> 00:23:27,241
I'm glad I ran across you.
263
00:23:27,241 --> 00:23:30,744
I want to invite
you for cocktails this
evening in my lodgings.
264
00:23:30,744 --> 00:23:32,246
Oh, how nice.
265
00:23:32,246 --> 00:23:34,748
I want you and the other
members of the faculty to
meet a new colleague.
266
00:23:35,249 --> 00:23:36,750
Oh, Professor Fenster?
267
00:23:36,750 --> 00:23:38,252
Oh, then you've met?
268
00:23:38,752 --> 00:23:40,254
No, no.
269
00:23:40,754 --> 00:23:44,258
Oh, well, in that case,
may we expect you at 6:00?
270
00:23:44,258 --> 00:23:45,759
Oh, yes, yes, indeed.
Yes, sir.
271
00:23:46,260 --> 00:23:48,262
Excellent. Splendid.
Oh, and, Professor?
272
00:23:48,262 --> 00:23:49,763
Yes, Dean.
273
00:23:49,763 --> 00:23:51,765
Don't work too hard.
274
00:24:08,282 --> 00:24:09,783
Zotz!
275
00:24:32,306 --> 00:24:33,807
Amazing.
276
00:24:47,104 --> 00:24:49,106
Uncle Jonathan.
277
00:24:49,106 --> 00:24:51,108
Better hurry if
you're going to make
that cocktail party at 6:00.
278
00:24:51,608 --> 00:24:54,611
Yeah. Would you get me that
package on my bureau, darling?
279
00:25:04,121 --> 00:25:06,123
What's in it?
280
00:25:06,123 --> 00:25:08,125
Oh, just some things
I bought downtown.
Thank you.
281
00:25:08,125 --> 00:25:10,127
I won't be here when you
get back, so don't wait up.
282
00:25:10,627 --> 00:25:12,129
You have a date?
Uh-huh. Jimmy.
283
00:25:12,129 --> 00:25:13,630
Jimmy who?
Jimmy Kellgore.
284
00:25:14,131 --> 00:25:16,133
He's not much, but he'
ll do till Eddie gets home.
285
00:25:16,133 --> 00:25:18,635
Jimmy Kellgore!
Horatio Kellgore's boy?
286
00:25:18,635 --> 00:25:23,140
Yes. Oh, it's not serious
or anything like that.
It's just a date.
287
00:25:23,140 --> 00:25:25,642
Not a date, date.
But Kellgore's son.
288
00:25:25,642 --> 00:25:29,646
Oh, Jimmy's all right.
Kind of a wolf,
but I can handle him.
289
00:25:34,151 --> 00:25:35,152
Zotz!
290
00:25:39,656 --> 00:25:40,657
Zotz!
291
00:25:44,161 --> 00:25:45,162
Zotz!
292
00:26:02,679 --> 00:26:05,182
You'd better hurry,
Uncle Jonathan.
293
00:26:27,204 --> 00:26:29,706
All right, I'm coming.
294
00:26:29,706 --> 00:26:34,211
Cynthia, baby.
Well, are you
all ready to go?
295
00:26:34,211 --> 00:26:36,213
Anytime you are.
Okay.
296
00:26:47,891 --> 00:26:51,895
Ah, Professor Jones.
How nice of you to come.
Will you have a martini?
297
00:26:52,396 --> 00:26:53,897
Oh, no, thank you, sir.
298
00:26:53,897 --> 00:26:56,900
Uh, I don't suppose you
have any sauerkraut juice?
299
00:26:56,900 --> 00:27:00,904
Why, no, I don't think.
Uh, my... Persephone?
Yes?
300
00:27:00,904 --> 00:27:03,407
Do we happen to have
any sauerkraut juice?
301
00:27:03,407 --> 00:27:06,410
Sauerkraut juice?
I don't think so.
302
00:27:06,410 --> 00:27:08,912
Oh, perhaps we
could get you a
soft drink, Professor?
303
00:27:08,912 --> 00:27:10,414
That would be fine,
Mrs. Updike.
304
00:27:10,414 --> 00:27:12,916
Take Hercules for a
moment, please, Joshua.
305
00:27:15,919 --> 00:27:19,923
And get rid of that pipe.
You know it makes
Hercules ill.
306
00:27:19,923 --> 00:27:22,926
There we are.
Thank you, Mrs. Updike.
307
00:27:22,926 --> 00:27:24,428
Get rid of that pipe
308
00:27:24,428 --> 00:27:28,932
Uh, yes, thanks.
Will you take Hercules?
Thank you so much.
309
00:27:29,433 --> 00:27:32,436
Professor, if you
only knew how much
310
00:27:32,436 --> 00:27:36,940
the dean and I
admire your abstinence
from strong drink,
311
00:27:36,940 --> 00:27:42,446
your sensible diet,
your devotion to exercise.
312
00:27:42,446 --> 00:27:46,450
As the ancients said,
Mens sana in corpore sano.
313
00:27:46,450 --> 00:27:48,452
Oh, yes, indeed.
314
00:27:48,952 --> 00:27:53,957
I think of you as one
of the great and
classic educators of yore.
315
00:27:54,458 --> 00:27:59,963
Plato, Aristotle,
in flowing robes, stately,
316
00:27:59,963 --> 00:28:01,965
sober, dignified.
317
00:28:03,967 --> 00:28:10,474
Roaming the groves of
academe, dispensing
wisdom and knowledge.
318
00:28:10,474 --> 00:28:14,978
And now, please come
and meet the new
member of our faculty.
319
00:28:18,482 --> 00:28:22,986
Professor Fenster,
I'd like you to meet
Professor Jonathan Jones
320
00:28:22,986 --> 00:28:26,490
ancient Eastern languages.
321
00:28:26,490 --> 00:28:28,992
Glad to meet you,
Professor Jones.
322
00:28:28,992 --> 00:28:31,995
I...
Charmed.
323
00:28:32,496 --> 00:28:33,497
Joshua.
Yes, my dear.
324
00:28:33,997 --> 00:28:37,000
Please take Hercules.
Yes, a pleasure.
325
00:28:37,501 --> 00:28:41,004
There we are.
Now you'll excuse me, please.
326
00:28:41,004 --> 00:28:42,005
Oh, certainly.
Yes. Of course.
327
00:28:46,510 --> 00:28:48,011
By George, that's
a beautiful cat.
328
00:28:48,011 --> 00:28:50,013
Yes, isn't it?
329
00:28:50,013 --> 00:28:52,516
He loves strangers.
Would you like to hold him?
330
00:28:52,516 --> 00:28:54,518
Uh...
331
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:58,021
Dean?
332
00:28:59,523 --> 00:29:03,026
Let me get this straight.
You are Professor Fenster?
333
00:29:03,026 --> 00:29:05,529
Well, my friends
call me Virginia.
334
00:29:05,529 --> 00:29:08,031
And to think you're
the famous Jonathan Jones.
335
00:29:08,031 --> 00:29:11,034
Oh, well, not so famous.
Not so famous?
336
00:29:11,034 --> 00:29:14,538
Why, everybody
in the field is familiar
with your doctorate thesis
337
00:29:14,538 --> 00:29:18,542
on the transmutation
of the Latin "F" to "B"
in Teutonic languages.
338
00:29:18,542 --> 00:29:21,044
Well, that was
quite a while ago.
339
00:29:21,044 --> 00:29:24,047
And I simply devoured
your latest book.
340
00:29:24,047 --> 00:29:28,051
Really?
The Semantics of
Dionysius of Halicarnassus?
341
00:29:28,051 --> 00:29:30,053
Yes. I could hardly
put it down.
342
00:29:30,053 --> 00:29:35,559
Well. But I thought your
field was modern languages,
like Professor Kellgore's.
343
00:29:35,559 --> 00:29:38,061
Oh, well, it is.
Oh.
344
00:29:38,061 --> 00:29:41,565
But I've also studied
ancient Eastern languages.
345
00:29:41,565 --> 00:29:42,566
Like me.
Like you.
346
00:29:43,066 --> 00:29:46,069
I see.
Very interesting. Very.
347
00:29:46,069 --> 00:29:50,073
Uh, tell me,
of these two specialties,
Professor Fenster...
348
00:29:50,073 --> 00:29:51,074
Virginia.
349
00:29:51,575 --> 00:29:54,578
Virginia.
350
00:29:55,078 --> 00:30:00,584
Of these two specialties,
Virginia, which
will you utilize here?
351
00:30:00,584 --> 00:30:05,088
Well, I wish I knew. The dean
told me I was to prepare
myself for either course.
352
00:30:05,088 --> 00:30:08,091
He said he has an
important decision to make.
353
00:30:08,091 --> 00:30:09,593
But really, Professor Jones...
354
00:30:10,093 --> 00:30:11,094
Jonathan.
355
00:30:12,095 --> 00:30:14,097
Jonathan.
356
00:30:14,097 --> 00:30:18,602
Really, I think it's so
fascinating to meet the author
of those wonderful books.
357
00:30:18,602 --> 00:30:21,104
You can teach
me so much.
358
00:30:21,104 --> 00:30:24,107
I warn you, you're going
to see a lot of me.
359
00:30:24,107 --> 00:30:27,611
Yes, well, I've already
seen a lot of you, Virginia.
360
00:30:29,112 --> 00:30:32,115
You were going to forget all
about that, remember?
361
00:30:32,616 --> 00:30:34,618
Ah, forgive me.
I stand corrected.
362
00:31:00,143 --> 00:31:04,147
Then those charming
translations of the French
fabliau were yours?
363
00:31:04,147 --> 00:31:05,649
Yes. I loved doing them.
364
00:31:05,649 --> 00:31:08,151
I loved reading them.
365
00:31:08,151 --> 00:31:11,154
Been hunting any
dinosaurs lately, Jones?
366
00:31:11,154 --> 00:31:12,656
Not lately.
367
00:31:15,659 --> 00:31:17,661
What on earth did
he mean by that?
368
00:31:17,661 --> 00:31:20,163
I haven't the faintest idea.
369
00:31:58,702 --> 00:32:01,705
What's she hanging
around there for?
Oh, what a kook. If...
370
00:32:02,205 --> 00:32:03,707
Quiet
371
00:32:06,209 --> 00:32:09,212
You wouldn't be afraid to
be in that house alone with
old Jim here, would ya?
372
00:32:09,713 --> 00:32:12,215
Jimmy, you promised.
373
00:32:12,716 --> 00:32:14,718
Oh, come on.
Jimmy! Stop it!
374
00:32:14,718 --> 00:32:16,219
Oh, well, you're
safe with me.
375
00:32:16,219 --> 00:32:17,721
That's what you think.
376
00:32:19,222 --> 00:32:21,224
What's the matter?
377
00:32:21,224 --> 00:32:23,727
I don't know
378
00:32:23,727 --> 00:32:27,230
I'm okay now, though.
Are you sure?
379
00:32:27,230 --> 00:32:29,733
Let's just wat
ch the movie, huh?
380
00:32:29,733 --> 00:32:30,734
Gladly.
381
00:32:32,736 --> 00:32:35,739
At Harvard, I was
a history major, actually.
382
00:32:35,739 --> 00:32:39,242
Then I narrowed my specialty
to the Asianic cultures.
383
00:32:39,242 --> 00:32:40,243
Under Professor Sandor?
384
00:32:40,243 --> 00:32:42,245
Yes. A wonderful old man.
385
00:32:42,245 --> 00:32:45,248
He stimulated my interest
in ancient languages.
386
00:32:45,248 --> 00:32:48,251
Sanskrit, Hebrew, Astyparaean.
387
00:32:48,251 --> 00:32:50,253
Astyparaean!
That reminds me.
388
00:32:50,253 --> 00:32:53,757
Excuse me for a moment,
I must speak to the dean
on an important matter.
389
00:32:54,257 --> 00:32:56,259
Sir?
390
00:32:56,259 --> 00:32:59,262
Oh, hello, my boy.
How are you getting along
with Professor Fenster?
391
00:32:59,262 --> 00:33:00,764
Oh, fine, sir.
Splendid.
392
00:33:00,764 --> 00:33:02,766
A most talented young lady.
393
00:33:02,766 --> 00:33:04,768
Yes, she is.
But I have something I
want to discuss with you
394
00:33:05,268 --> 00:33:06,770
Oh? Very well.
395
00:33:06,770 --> 00:33:08,772
Yes, sir. I had to
tell someone.
It's so important,
396
00:33:09,272 --> 00:33:11,274
and, well, you're the only
one to whom I could turn.
397
00:33:11,274 --> 00:33:12,776
Then by all means, my boy.
398
00:33:12,776 --> 00:33:14,778
Well, sir, it's
this power I have.
399
00:33:15,779 --> 00:33:17,280
Power?
Yes, sir
400
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,282
The power to disable,
even to kill.
401
00:33:19,783 --> 00:33:21,284
Kill?
402
00:33:21,785 --> 00:33:24,788
I know it sounds fantastic,
and it's going to be very hard
for you to believe, but...
403
00:33:26,289 --> 00:33:28,291
Well, I really don't
know where to begin.
404
00:33:28,291 --> 00:33:30,293
May I make a suggestion?
Please do.
405
00:33:30,293 --> 00:33:33,797
Begin at the beginning,
go on until you
come to the end.
406
00:33:33,797 --> 00:33:35,799
Then stop.
407
00:33:35,799 --> 00:33:39,302
No, I think it would be
better if I begin at
the end and work back.
408
00:33:39,302 --> 00:33:42,305
In fact, that's why
I brought these along.
409
00:33:42,305 --> 00:33:45,308
I knew I'd have a hard time
convincing you without proof
410
00:33:45,308 --> 00:33:48,311
so on the way over
I stopped in at a pet shop.
411
00:33:48,311 --> 00:33:51,815
Great Scott, Jones.
Those are mice, aren't they?
412
00:33:51,815 --> 00:33:55,318
Just white mice, sir.
But...
413
00:33:55,318 --> 00:33:58,321
They're absolutely essenti
to my demonstration, sir.
414
00:33:58,321 --> 00:33:59,322
What demonstration?
415
00:33:59,322 --> 00:34:01,825
The demonstration
of the power of Zotz
416
00:34:01,825 --> 00:34:04,327
Zotz?
Yes, sir. Zotz.
417
00:34:04,327 --> 00:34:05,829
And if you will allow me
418
00:34:05,829 --> 00:34:07,330
Well, I most certainly
will not allow you.
419
00:34:07,330 --> 00:34:10,333
Do you mean to
tell me you intend to let
these creatures out here?
420
00:34:10,333 --> 00:34:11,835
Yes, sir.
421
00:34:11,835 --> 00:34:13,837
Have you taken
leave of your senses?
422
00:34:13,837 --> 00:34:17,340
d,
Trust me, sir. Within
one split second after
those mice are release
423
00:34:17,340 --> 00:34:20,343
they will be motionles
s, harmless, lifeless.
424
00:34:23,346 --> 00:34:25,348
Zotz! Zotz! Zotz!
Jones!
425
00:34:25,849 --> 00:34:28,351
Ellen Mae,
what a lovely cake.
426
00:34:28,351 --> 00:34:30,353
It's beautiful.
427
00:34:32,355 --> 00:34:34,858
I just can't wait
to taste it.
428
00:34:50,373 --> 00:34:50,874
Zotz!
429
00:34:56,379 --> 00:34:58,381
Zotz! Zotz!
430
00:35:04,387 --> 00:35:06,389
Zotz! Zotz!
431
00:35:16,900 --> 00:35:19,402
Zotz! Zotz!
432
00:35:35,919 --> 00:35:37,921
Zotz! Zotz!
433
00:35:42,425 --> 00:35:43,426
Zotz!
434
00:35:44,427 --> 00:35:45,929
Zotz!
435
00:35:48,431 --> 00:35:50,433
It's all right, dear.
Everything's all right.
436
00:35:52,936 --> 00:35:55,939
Thank you very much.
437
00:36:17,961 --> 00:36:23,466
Zotz, I said! Zotz!
Z-O-T-Z, Zotz!
438
00:36:26,469 --> 00:36:28,471
Jones! Come up.
439
00:36:29,973 --> 00:36:31,474
Why have you done this?
440
00:36:31,474 --> 00:36:33,476
I don't understand.
It worked before.
441
00:36:33,977 --> 00:36:36,479
I simply pointed while
the coin was in my pocket.
442
00:36:36,479 --> 00:36:38,481
What coin?
This one
443
00:36:38,982 --> 00:36:40,483
The coin that I...
I'm sure I have it.
444
00:36:41,985 --> 00:36:44,988
Oh, no! Cynthia!
She must have taken it.
445
00:36:45,488 --> 00:36:47,490
What about Cynthia?
Why, this is terrible.
446
00:36:47,490 --> 00:36:49,993
She's going out tonight.
She doesn't know the
power she possesses.
447
00:36:49,993 --> 00:36:51,995
Jones! I...
Excuse me, sir.
448
00:36:51,995 --> 00:36:53,496
I must stop her.
I demand...
449
00:37:05,008 --> 00:37:06,009
Check.
450
00:37:21,407 --> 00:37:25,912
Cynthia? Cynthia? Cynthia?
451
00:37:48,434 --> 00:37:50,436
Cynthia? Oh.
Hello, Virginia.
452
00:37:50,436 --> 00:37:52,438
Jonathan.
Is something wrong?
453
00:37:52,438 --> 00:37:53,940
Yes, something is
terribly wrong.
454
00:37:53,940 --> 00:37:55,942
Well, what is it?
Can I help?
455
00:37:55,942 --> 00:37:58,945
No, nobody can help.
Wait a minute.
Have you got your car?
456
00:37:58,945 --> 00:38:01,447
Yes.
Well, what are we
waiting for? Let's go.
457
00:38:04,450 --> 00:38:05,952
Where to?
458
00:38:05,952 --> 00:38:07,453
I don't know.
First Street, I guess.
459
00:38:07,453 --> 00:38:09,455
And keep your eye
peeled for a hot rod
460
00:38:09,455 --> 00:38:13,459
containing a very
pretty girl and the son
of Horatio Kellgore.
461
00:38:13,459 --> 00:38:14,961
What is this all about?
462
00:38:15,461 --> 00:38:17,964
Well, there's this little...
463
00:38:17,964 --> 00:38:21,467
You wouldn't believe it.
You wouldn't believe it.
464
00:38:35,481 --> 00:38:37,483
Say, I know
a cozy, little spot
where we could...
465
00:38:37,483 --> 00:38:38,985
Just a soda, please.
466
00:38:38,985 --> 00:38:41,487
Just a soda.
Yeah, I get the message.
467
00:38:49,996 --> 00:38:51,497
There they are.
468
00:38:53,499 --> 00:38:55,001
Where do you want to go?
469
00:38:55,001 --> 00:38:58,004
How about the Sip and Dip?
470
00:38:58,504 --> 00:39:01,007
Let's see,
the Sip and Dip. That's
north of here, isn't it?
471
00:39:01,007 --> 00:39:02,508
No. It's south.
472
00:39:08,514 --> 00:39:11,017
No, no. No, no, no!
473
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:17,023
I'm sure the ice cream
parlor is that way.
474
00:39:17,023 --> 00:39:18,524
Okay.
475
00:39:24,030 --> 00:39:25,531
Follow that car!
476
00:39:32,538 --> 00:39:34,540
Cynthia!
Hi, Uncle Jonathan.
477
00:39:35,041 --> 00:39:37,043
What are you doing here?
Cynthia, come home at once.
478
00:39:37,043 --> 00:39:38,044
What?
479
00:39:38,544 --> 00:39:40,046
Come home at once.
Never mind.
480
00:39:40,546 --> 00:39:43,549
Stay right there.
I'll get you.
481
00:39:43,549 --> 00:39:46,052
It's all right, darling.
Come along with me.
482
00:39:46,552 --> 00:39:49,055
But Uncle Jonathan!
No arguments.
483
00:39:49,055 --> 00:39:53,059
Well, we were only
going over to the...
Stop!
484
00:39:53,059 --> 00:39:55,561
Excuse me.
Don't do that.
Why?
485
00:39:55,561 --> 00:39:59,065
Because it's not
polite to point.
Huh?
486
00:39:59,065 --> 00:40:01,067
Come along, darling. You'd
better let me have this, too.
487
00:40:01,067 --> 00:40:04,570
And after all that, he say
"It's not polite to point."
488
00:40:06,572 --> 00:40:07,573
Uh, that's all?
489
00:40:08,074 --> 00:40:10,576
That's all.
What a kook!
490
00:40:10,576 --> 00:40:14,080
Yeah, very interesting.
Well, thank you, my boy.
Run along to bed.
491
00:40:14,580 --> 00:40:16,082
Okay. Good night, Dad.
Good night.
492
00:40:32,014 --> 00:40:33,516
Good morning, darling.
Good morning.
493
00:40:36,519 --> 00:40:39,522
Poison. Slow death.
494
00:40:42,525 --> 00:40:45,027
Uncle Jonathan.
Yes.
495
00:40:45,027 --> 00:40:47,530
All that stuff you said
last night about the coin...
496
00:40:47,530 --> 00:40:50,032
What were you drinking
at the dean's party?
497
00:40:50,032 --> 00:40:53,536
Soda pop, of course.
What are you implying?
498
00:40:53,536 --> 00:40:56,038
Well, it's all a little hard
to swallow, you know.
499
00:40:56,038 --> 00:41:00,543
That stuff about
ancient magic and the
pointing finger and...
500
00:41:00,543 --> 00:41:02,044
What was that word again?
501
00:41:03,045 --> 00:41:04,547
Never mind.
502
00:41:04,547 --> 00:41:06,549
Uncle Jonathan, have
you been feeling all right?
503
00:41:06,549 --> 00:41:08,551
Of course I have.
I'm in the pink of
condition.
504
00:41:08,551 --> 00:41:11,053
Well, then, why do
you have an appointment
with the doctor this morning?
505
00:41:11,053 --> 00:41:13,556
Doctor? I have no
appointment with a doctor.
506
00:41:13,556 --> 00:41:16,058
Yes, you do. At 9:00.
507
00:41:16,058 --> 00:41:19,061
Miss Carruthers of the medical
staff phoned to remind you
when you were in the shower.
508
00:41:19,562 --> 00:41:21,564
She said the dean
made the appointment.
509
00:41:21,564 --> 00:41:23,065
Really? That's odd.
510
00:41:23,566 --> 00:41:26,068
Ah, it must be the annual
physical checkup.
Good idea, actually.
511
00:41:26,068 --> 00:41:30,072
Mens sana in corpore sano,
you know.
512
00:41:30,072 --> 00:41:32,074
What?
513
00:41:32,074 --> 00:41:34,577
Sound mind
in a sound body.
514
00:41:34,577 --> 00:41:37,580
9:00, you said?
I'd better be on my way.
Bye, darling.
515
00:41:37,580 --> 00:41:38,581
Bye.
516
00:41:52,094 --> 00:41:54,096
Uh, good morning.
I'm Professor Jones.
517
00:41:54,096 --> 00:41:57,600
Oh, good morning, Professor.
You can go right in.
Dr. Kroner's expecting you.
518
00:41:57,600 --> 00:41:59,101
Thank you.
519
00:42:02,605 --> 00:42:05,107
Good morning, Dr. Kroner.
Pleasure to meet you.
520
00:42:05,107 --> 00:42:07,109
I'm Jones,
ancient Eastern languages.
521
00:42:07,109 --> 00:42:08,611
Sit down, Professor.
522
00:42:08,611 --> 00:42:10,613
It's a very sensib
le thing, checkups.
523
00:42:10,613 --> 00:42:13,115
As I was saying to my
niece only this morning,
524
00:42:13,115 --> 00:42:15,618
Mens sana in corpore sano.
525
00:42:15,618 --> 00:42:16,619
Quite.
526
00:42:17,119 --> 00:42:19,121
I think you'll find me
in top condition.
527
00:42:19,622 --> 00:42:22,625
Exercise, a sensible diet,
don't drink, don't smoke.
528
00:42:22,625 --> 00:42:24,126
Professor Jones,
I think perhaps...
529
00:42:24,126 --> 00:42:27,129
These are my own.
Every single one
530
00:42:27,129 --> 00:42:30,132
Hearing, perfect.
Vision, 20/20.
Blood pressure..
531
00:42:30,132 --> 00:42:31,634
Sir!
...seven. Yes?
532
00:42:32,134 --> 00:42:33,135
Please put your
clothes back on
533
00:42:33,135 --> 00:42:35,137
and then make yourself
comfortable on the couch.
534
00:42:35,638 --> 00:42:38,140
Put my clothes...
Put them back... Oh!
535
00:42:38,140 --> 00:42:42,144
Very well, if you wish.
I simply thought that I...
Couch?
536
00:42:42,144 --> 00:42:44,647
Yes. Just lie down and relax.
537
00:42:48,651 --> 00:42:51,153
You mean you're
that kind of a doctor?
538
00:42:52,655 --> 00:42:54,657
Now, don't worry about
a thing, Professor.
539
00:42:54,657 --> 00:42:58,160
The dean sent me to you?
He thinks I'm crazy?
540
00:42:58,661 --> 00:43:01,163
Now, now, now, now.
Crazy's an unfortunate
word, don't you agree?
541
00:43:01,163 --> 00:43:04,667
I certainly do! And if you
think I'm going to submit
to an examination by a...
542
00:43:04,667 --> 00:43:07,169
Do you always
react so violently?
543
00:43:07,169 --> 00:43:08,671
Violently?
544
00:43:08,671 --> 00:43:12,675
Why, no. Not at all.
In fact, I'm a quiet man
545
00:43:12,675 --> 00:43:14,176
Studious.
546
00:43:14,677 --> 00:43:18,681
Oh, I see, quiet
and studious sometimes
and violent at other times.
547
00:43:18,681 --> 00:43:21,183
Almost like two
different people, hmm?
548
00:43:21,183 --> 00:43:24,186
Now, look here.
If you're trying to say
I'm schizophrenic...
549
00:43:24,186 --> 00:43:26,689
Oh. Do you feel that
I'm persecuting you?
550
00:43:26,689 --> 00:43:27,690
No!
551
00:43:38,701 --> 00:43:42,655
It all began when my niece
received a charm bracelet.
552
00:43:47,660 --> 00:43:48,661
Oh, Professor Kellgore.
553
00:43:48,661 --> 00:43:50,162
Professor Fenster.
554
00:43:50,162 --> 00:43:53,165
Do you know where I might find
Professor Jones this morning?
555
00:43:54,166 --> 00:43:56,168
I have a little
translation problem
556
00:43:56,168 --> 00:43:57,670
I'd like to discuss
with him.
557
00:43:57,670 --> 00:43:59,171
Jones? Jones?
558
00:43:59,171 --> 00:44:01,674
No, I haven't seen him
since the cocktail party
yesterday evening.
559
00:44:01,674 --> 00:44:04,677
Behaved very
peculiarly, didn't he?
560
00:44:04,677 --> 00:44:07,680
Perhaps I can help.
561
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:12,184
Well, I'm afraid it's in t
field of ancient languages
Professor Kellgore.
562
00:44:12,184 --> 00:44:13,686
Call me Horatio.
563
00:44:16,188 --> 00:44:19,191
Well, I must run.
Thanks, anyway.
564
00:44:25,197 --> 00:44:26,699
Please continue, Professor.
565
00:44:26,699 --> 00:44:29,201
That's all there is to tell.
566
00:44:29,201 --> 00:44:30,703
Yes.
567
00:44:31,203 --> 00:44:32,705
Now, if I understand
you correctly,
568
00:44:33,205 --> 00:44:35,207
you say that
you're actually able to
destroy living creatures
569
00:44:35,207 --> 00:44:36,709
by pointing your
finger at them
570
00:44:36,709 --> 00:44:39,712
and speaking this
word, "Zotz."
571
00:44:39,712 --> 00:44:42,715
Yes, but only if
the coin is on my person.
572
00:44:44,717 --> 00:44:47,720
Don't you see that all
this is mere delusion?
573
00:44:47,720 --> 00:44:50,222
Delusion?
Why, I've seen it
with my own eyes.
574
00:44:50,723 --> 00:44:54,226
A line of people on
the sidewalk, mown down
as if by a machine gun.
575
00:44:54,226 --> 00:44:55,227
Hallucination.
576
00:44:55,728 --> 00:44:57,229
It was not hallucination
577
00:44:57,229 --> 00:45:00,733
And there was the moth
and the cat and the ships
578
00:45:00,733 --> 00:45:03,235
and the squirrel
and the dinosaur
579
00:45:03,235 --> 00:45:05,738
The dinosaur, Professor?
580
00:45:05,738 --> 00:45:09,742
I mean, the lizard.
Just a little lizard,
you know.
581
00:45:09,742 --> 00:45:14,747
Yes. Yes, of course. It was
a baby dinosaur, wasn't it?
582
00:45:14,747 --> 00:45:17,750
Yeah, it was...
No, no, no.
583
00:45:17,750 --> 00:45:20,753
Professor Jones,
you're an intelligent man
and I won't try to humor you
584
00:45:21,253 --> 00:45:22,755
But surely you can understand
that these delusions of yours
585
00:45:23,255 --> 00:45:25,257
are merely a result
of your repressed hostility,
586
00:45:25,257 --> 00:45:28,260
your aggressive feelings
toward society.
587
00:45:28,761 --> 00:45:32,765
I have no aggressive feeling
toward society, Dr. Kroner.
588
00:45:32,765 --> 00:45:34,767
I must confess,
at this moment,
however,
589
00:45:34,767 --> 00:45:37,770
I have aggressive
feelings toward you.
590
00:45:37,770 --> 00:45:41,774
Well, that's
a perfectly normal reaction.
591
00:45:41,774 --> 00:45:43,776
As a matter of fact,
you're a classic case.
592
00:45:43,776 --> 00:45:46,779
I will not be referred
to as a "classic case!"
593
00:45:46,779 --> 00:45:48,280
Sir, this power of
yours does not exist.
594
00:45:48,781 --> 00:45:50,282
It does exist!
595
00:45:50,282 --> 00:45:51,784
Then show me.
What?
596
00:45:52,284 --> 00:45:53,786
Show me. Convince me.
597
00:45:53,786 --> 00:45:55,287
Demonstrate this
horrible force,
598
00:45:55,287 --> 00:45:57,289
this power you have
over life and death.
599
00:45:57,790 --> 00:46:00,793
Very well. But what shall
I demonstrate it on?
600
00:46:01,794 --> 00:46:03,295
Me.
601
00:46:03,295 --> 00:46:05,297
Oh, I couldn't do that.
602
00:46:05,297 --> 00:46:07,299
Why not?
Well, it would
cause you pain.
603
00:46:07,299 --> 00:46:08,801
Well, now why should
that concern you?
604
00:46:08,801 --> 00:46:10,803
You've already said
that you have aggressive
feelings toward me.
605
00:46:10,803 --> 00:46:12,805
Here's your chance
to unleash them.
606
00:46:12,805 --> 00:46:14,306
Oh, I can't.
607
00:46:14,306 --> 00:46:16,308
Of course you can't.
Because this power
is not real.
608
00:46:16,809 --> 00:46:18,310
It is.
It's imaginary.
609
00:46:18,811 --> 00:46:19,812
It's not.
Not what?
610
00:46:20,312 --> 00:46:23,315
Not real. I mean imaginary.
611
00:46:23,315 --> 00:46:27,319
There, you see?
You can't distinguish between
reality and imagination.
612
00:46:27,319 --> 00:46:30,322
I'm sorry, Doctor,
but there's no other way
613
00:46:30,322 --> 00:46:33,826
You put on
a good act, Professor.
614
00:46:33,826 --> 00:46:37,329
Remember, you brought
this on yourself.
615
00:46:37,329 --> 00:46:39,331
Go ahead. Take out
your hostility on me.
616
00:46:39,331 --> 00:46:41,834
It will do you
a world of good.
617
00:46:48,340 --> 00:46:50,843
I was doubled over,
like this.
618
00:46:50,843 --> 00:46:52,344
It was very painful.
619
00:46:52,344 --> 00:46:53,846
Perhaps he hypnotized you.
620
00:46:54,346 --> 00:46:57,349
Well, I know a bit more abou
hypnosis than you do, Dean,
621
00:46:57,349 --> 00:46:59,852
and I can assure you
I was not hypnotized
622
00:46:59,852 --> 00:47:01,353
Then, how do you
explain it?
623
00:47:01,353 --> 00:47:03,355
Very simple.
Appendicitis
624
00:47:03,355 --> 00:47:06,859
I shall enter
the hospital the first
thing in the morning.
625
00:47:06,859 --> 00:47:08,861
No, no.
Of course not, my boy.
626
00:47:08,861 --> 00:47:10,863
It's simply that I think
you need a rest.
627
00:47:11,363 --> 00:47:12,865
Sir, I'm in perfect health.
628
00:47:12,865 --> 00:47:14,867
Go away for a few days.
A week.
629
00:47:14,867 --> 00:47:17,369
Please, sir,
if you'd only
listen to me
630
00:47:17,369 --> 00:47:20,372
Go someplace to relax.
Take a trip.
631
00:47:20,372 --> 00:47:21,373
A trip?
632
00:47:21,874 --> 00:47:22,374
Yes.
633
00:47:24,376 --> 00:47:25,377
A trip.
634
00:47:49,285 --> 00:47:50,786
Well, I think you'd better try
Lieutenant Stefanski, sir.
635
00:47:51,287 --> 00:47:52,288
He may be able
to help you.
636
00:47:52,288 --> 00:47:53,789
You don't understand
637
00:47:53,789 --> 00:47:55,791
I don't want him to help m
I want to help him.
638
00:47:56,292 --> 00:47:58,794
Yes, sir.
But you'd better see
the lieutenant anyway.
639
00:47:58,794 --> 00:48:03,799
You'll find him
in 3C-4L-3-S-19.
640
00:48:03,799 --> 00:48:05,801
Three C...
It's very simple, sir.
641
00:48:05,801 --> 00:48:10,806
You see, this building
has five sides,
A, B, C, D and E.
642
00:48:10,806 --> 00:48:15,311
Now 3C means
the third floor
of side C. That way.
643
00:48:15,311 --> 00:48:16,312
That way.
644
00:48:16,812 --> 00:48:19,315
The next number tells you
what corridor to take.
645
00:48:19,315 --> 00:48:21,317
Four.
That's right over there.
646
00:48:21,317 --> 00:48:22,318
Over there.
647
00:48:23,819 --> 00:48:26,322
The second three
means the third court,
648
00:48:26,322 --> 00:48:29,325
then, S-19 is the 19th
stanchion on your left.
649
00:48:30,326 --> 00:48:31,827
You can't miss it, sir.
650
00:48:32,828 --> 00:48:35,831
Thank you. What was
that floor again?
651
00:48:35,831 --> 00:48:37,833
Third floor, sir.
Third floor.
652
00:48:47,343 --> 00:48:51,847
You see, Lieutenant Stefanski,
they sent me in
to see you, but...
653
00:48:54,850 --> 00:48:57,353
Professor Jones, I'm afraid
the army isn't interested.
654
00:48:57,353 --> 00:48:59,855
There are many such
suggestions that come
across my desk every day,
655
00:49:00,356 --> 00:49:01,357
and we are not interested.
656
00:49:01,357 --> 00:49:02,858
Now you listen to me...
657
00:49:16,372 --> 00:49:19,875
Oh, now be reasonable, Henry.
I handled the last one.
658
00:49:20,376 --> 00:49:24,880
That screwball with the
steam-operated machine gun.
It's your turn now.
659
00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:27,383
What do you mean,
you've got a stomach ache?
660
00:49:27,383 --> 00:49:31,887
What about
Lieutenant Stefanski?
Captain Byron? Major Foulger?
661
00:49:32,888 --> 00:49:34,890
They've all got
stomach aches?
662
00:49:34,890 --> 00:49:38,394
I tell you, it's that
lousy food they serve
in the cafeteria.
663
00:49:39,395 --> 00:49:42,398
All right. All right,
send him over.
664
00:49:52,908 --> 00:49:53,909
Yes?
665
00:49:55,411 --> 00:49:56,912
General Bullivar.
Yes.
666
00:49:56,912 --> 00:49:58,414
There's a Professor Jones
who wishes to see you.
667
00:49:58,914 --> 00:50:00,916
I know. I know.
Tell him to wheel it in.
668
00:50:00,916 --> 00:50:01,917
Wheel what in, sir?
669
00:50:02,418 --> 00:50:03,919
A death ray, or whatever it is
he thinks he's invented.
670
00:50:04,420 --> 00:50:07,423
He doesn't have
anything with him, sir.
Not even a briefcase.
671
00:50:08,424 --> 00:50:10,426
Oh, one of those
quiet ones, huh?
672
00:50:12,928 --> 00:50:15,931
Well, I guess there's no use
delaying it. Send him in.
673
00:50:15,931 --> 00:50:16,932
Yes, sir
674
00:50:25,941 --> 00:50:27,443
Professor Jones, sir
675
00:50:31,447 --> 00:50:33,949
Hello there, how are you?
676
00:50:33,949 --> 00:50:36,952
So you're the fellow that's
come all the way from
California just to talk to us.
677
00:50:37,453 --> 00:50:39,455
Yes, sir.
I'm delighted to
meet you, Professor.
678
00:50:39,455 --> 00:50:41,457
Thank you, General.
Sit down. Sit down.
Make yourself comfortable.
679
00:50:41,957 --> 00:50:43,459
Well,
thank you very much.
680
00:50:43,459 --> 00:50:45,461
Well, did you have
a pleasant trip?
681
00:50:45,461 --> 00:50:46,462
Most pleasant, thanks.
682
00:50:46,462 --> 00:50:48,964
And how are you enjoying
your visit to the capital?
683
00:50:48,964 --> 00:50:50,466
Well, I only arrived
this morning...
684
00:50:50,466 --> 00:50:53,469
Now, take my advice,
don't miss
the Lincoln Memorial.
685
00:50:53,969 --> 00:50:59,475
It's a very moving experience.
It brings tears to my eyes
every time I see it.
686
00:50:59,475 --> 00:51:01,477
Well, I'm sure it's
most impressive.
Have a cigar.
687
00:51:01,477 --> 00:51:04,480
What? No, thank you.
Do you mind if I get
right to the point?
688
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:07,483
Oh, yes, of course.
The colonel mentioned
something about a new weapon.
689
00:51:07,483 --> 00:51:08,984
Well, it's not
exactly a weapon
690
00:51:09,485 --> 00:51:12,488
Oh? Well, what is it?
A gun, a bomb?
691
00:51:12,488 --> 00:51:14,990
Would you be interested
in a method to immobilize,
692
00:51:14,990 --> 00:51:19,495
even destroy, as you
choose, every living thing
within range of vision?
693
00:51:19,495 --> 00:51:21,997
Ships, tanks, planes
694
00:51:22,998 --> 00:51:25,000
How do you intend
to go about this?
695
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:29,004
Light rays?
Sound vibrations?
Black magic?
696
00:51:30,005 --> 00:51:31,006
Yes.
697
00:51:31,006 --> 00:51:32,508
Yes, what?
698
00:51:32,508 --> 00:51:36,512
Black magic. You see,
I'm a human weapon.
699
00:51:39,014 --> 00:51:43,018
Now, look, Professor,
I do not have the time
to stand around making jokes.
700
00:51:43,018 --> 00:51:44,520
I'm not joking,
I assure you.
701
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:46,522
A human weapon!
Are you serious?
702
00:51:46,522 --> 00:51:49,024
I've never been mo
re serious in my life
703
00:51:49,024 --> 00:51:50,526
You see...
704
00:51:52,528 --> 00:51:54,530
I see. I see.
705
00:51:54,530 --> 00:51:56,031
You're some sort
of a magician, huh?
706
00:51:56,031 --> 00:51:57,533
What?
707
00:51:57,533 --> 00:51:59,535
Look, I'm afraid they've sent
you to the wrong department.
708
00:52:00,035 --> 00:52:03,038
Now what you want is
the Entertainment Division
of Special Services.
709
00:52:03,038 --> 00:52:05,040
I'll make one little
phone call and settle
this whole thing for you.
710
00:52:05,541 --> 00:52:07,042
No! Wait! Wait!
711
00:52:07,042 --> 00:52:08,544
Now, get me Colonel...
712
00:52:08,544 --> 00:52:09,545
General! I can prove it.
713
00:52:10,546 --> 00:52:12,047
Never mind.
714
00:52:14,550 --> 00:52:15,551
All right, prove it.
715
00:52:19,555 --> 00:52:21,056
Excuse me.
716
00:52:28,564 --> 00:52:30,065
Look. That airplane up there.
717
00:52:30,065 --> 00:52:31,567
Uh-huh.
718
00:52:36,572 --> 00:52:38,574
Now watch this.
I'm watching
719
00:52:44,580 --> 00:52:45,581
You see?
720
00:52:45,581 --> 00:52:48,584
Wonderful! Marvelous!
721
00:52:53,088 --> 00:52:54,590
Now watch this.
722
00:52:54,590 --> 00:52:56,091
Uh-huh.
723
00:53:06,051 --> 00:53:11,056
There. And the secret
lies in this ancient coin.
724
00:53:11,557 --> 00:53:14,560
In that coin?
Well, well, well
725
00:53:14,560 --> 00:53:16,562
And you see,
this makes it possible to...
726
00:53:17,062 --> 00:53:19,064
You know, this is
a marvelous little inventi
you have here, Professor.
727
00:53:19,064 --> 00:53:20,065
Well, it's not exactly
an invention...
728
00:53:20,566 --> 00:53:21,567
I'll tell you what
I'm going to do.
729
00:53:22,067 --> 00:53:24,570
I'm going to have my
secretary help you fill out
730
00:53:24,570 --> 00:53:27,573
form number W5A16,
in quadruplicate...
731
00:53:27,573 --> 00:53:29,074
But, sir...
This will be filed
732
00:53:29,074 --> 00:53:32,077
and duly considered
at the next meeting
of the Chiefs of Staff.
733
00:53:32,077 --> 00:53:33,579
How long before
I hear from you?
734
00:53:33,579 --> 00:53:36,582
Well, the next meeting is
sometime in December.
735
00:53:36,582 --> 00:53:37,583
December!
Yes, yes.
736
00:53:38,083 --> 00:53:39,585
Of course, anything
suggested at that meeting
737
00:53:39,585 --> 00:53:42,087
will have to be forwarded
onto higher echelons.
738
00:53:42,087 --> 00:53:44,089
But this power of mine
is immediate...
739
00:53:44,089 --> 00:53:46,592
Well, of course,
I believe that if you leave
your name and address,
740
00:53:46,592 --> 00:53:50,095
you can expect
to receive some sort of
communication from us
741
00:53:50,095 --> 00:53:51,597
after the first of the year.
742
00:53:51,597 --> 00:53:53,098
What sort of communication?
Well, now...
743
00:53:53,098 --> 00:53:56,101
General, don't you think
the state of world
conditions today
744
00:53:56,101 --> 00:53:57,102
demands that you
take immediate...
745
00:53:57,603 --> 00:53:59,104
I think that you're
absolutely right,
746
00:53:59,104 --> 00:54:02,608
and we are wasting
time standing here
talking about it.
747
00:54:03,108 --> 00:54:04,109
Yes, we are.
748
00:54:04,109 --> 00:54:05,611
I'm glad that we
see eye to eye.
749
00:54:05,611 --> 00:54:08,614
And I will start the wheels
in motion right now.
750
00:54:10,115 --> 00:54:12,117
Corporal, I want you
to drop everything
751
00:54:12,618 --> 00:54:16,121
and help Professor Jones
here fill out form W5A16.
752
00:54:16,121 --> 00:54:17,122
Thank you, Professor.
753
00:54:17,122 --> 00:54:18,624
No, sir, but, General...
754
00:54:22,127 --> 00:54:24,630
Please sit down, Professor.
This may take a while.
755
00:54:24,630 --> 00:54:27,132
Well, thanks,
but don't bother.
756
00:54:27,132 --> 00:54:30,135
But what about form W5A16?
757
00:54:30,135 --> 00:54:32,638
You tell the general
that he can...
758
00:54:33,639 --> 00:54:35,140
Oh, never mind.
759
00:54:41,647 --> 00:54:45,150
I beg your pardon.
Don't I know you?
760
00:54:46,652 --> 00:54:50,656
No, I don't believe so.
My name is Hugh Fundy.
761
00:54:53,158 --> 00:54:54,660
What is that, may I ask?
762
00:54:54,660 --> 00:54:57,162
This? This is a death ray.
763
00:54:57,162 --> 00:54:59,665
Oh. Well, good luck.
764
00:55:13,312 --> 00:55:15,314
Uncle Jonathan, I didn't
expect you home tonight.
765
00:55:15,314 --> 00:55:17,816
Well, I decided
to cut my trip short.
766
00:55:17,816 --> 00:55:19,318
Hey, you're all
dressed up. How come?
767
00:55:19,318 --> 00:55:21,820
For the farewell dinner
for the dean, you remember.
768
00:55:21,820 --> 00:55:23,322
Gee, it's nice
you returned
in time for it.
769
00:55:23,822 --> 00:55:25,324
Yeah, I'd better change.
I won't be five minutes.
770
00:55:25,824 --> 00:55:27,326
Well, I'll meet you
at the country club.
771
00:55:27,326 --> 00:55:29,328
Can't you wait
while I change?
772
00:55:29,328 --> 00:55:32,831
Well, gee, Uncle Jonathan,
I expected you to be
out of town tonight,
773
00:55:32,831 --> 00:55:35,834
and I told Jimmy I'd go
with him. And there he is.
774
00:55:35,834 --> 00:55:39,338
Bye, see you at the club.
There's sauerkraut juice
in the fridge.
775
00:55:39,338 --> 00:55:40,339
I'm coming!
776
00:55:45,844 --> 00:55:47,346
Virginia!
777
00:55:58,857 --> 00:56:01,860
Hello.
Oh, hello, Virginia?
778
00:56:01,860 --> 00:56:02,861
Jonathan.
779
00:56:02,861 --> 00:56:05,364
Oh, Jonathan,
you're back.
So soon?
780
00:56:05,364 --> 00:56:07,366
Yeah, I got homesick,
I guess.
781
00:56:07,366 --> 00:56:09,368
Say, the reason
I'm calling, I...
782
00:56:09,368 --> 00:56:12,371
I thought I might
escort you to the
farewell dinner tonight.
783
00:56:12,871 --> 00:56:16,875
Well, I'm awfully sorry,
but I was sure you'd be
away and I...
784
00:56:16,875 --> 00:56:20,379
Well, I accepted
an invitation to
go with Horatio.
785
00:56:20,379 --> 00:56:22,881
Horatio. Kellgore?
786
00:56:23,882 --> 00:56:26,385
Well, yes. You see...
787
00:56:26,385 --> 00:56:29,888
Oh, I'm sorry.
Now, please try
to understand.
788
00:56:29,888 --> 00:56:33,392
Oh, I understand.
I understand perfectly.
789
00:56:35,894 --> 00:56:37,396
Oh, Jonathan.
790
00:56:37,896 --> 00:56:38,897
Bye.
791
00:57:00,419 --> 00:57:01,920
Well, here we are.
792
00:57:08,927 --> 00:57:11,430
Dean Updike, of course,
and Mrs. Updike,
793
00:57:11,430 --> 00:57:12,931
Professor Adams,
the principal
794
00:57:12,931 --> 00:57:15,434
and, Virginia,
I want you to sit there,
795
00:57:15,434 --> 00:57:17,436
and of course, I shall occupy
the speaker's chair.
796
00:57:17,436 --> 00:57:19,438
Is everything satisfactory,
Professor Kellgore?
797
00:57:19,438 --> 00:57:20,939
Oh, yes.
Yes, it seems to be.
798
00:57:20,939 --> 00:57:23,442
Of course, this is
a very special occasion,
you understand.
799
00:57:23,442 --> 00:57:25,944
I want everything exactly
right. I've made myself
personally responsible.
800
00:57:26,445 --> 00:57:27,946
Of course.
801
00:57:27,946 --> 00:57:30,449
Perhaps I may have the
waiter bring you a cocktail
before the others arrive?
802
00:57:30,449 --> 00:57:32,451
No, no. It might
relax me too much.
803
00:57:32,951 --> 00:57:34,953
Have to make
a speech right after dinner.
804
00:57:34,953 --> 00:57:37,456
Yes.
Good evening.
805
00:57:37,456 --> 00:57:39,458
Hello. Hi, Dad. Hello,
Professor Fenster.
806
00:57:39,958 --> 00:57:41,460
Hello, Jimmy.
Hello, Cynthia.
807
00:57:41,460 --> 00:57:43,462
Just in time, James.
Good evening, Cynthia.
808
00:57:43,462 --> 00:57:45,964
I'm so sorry your uncle won't
be able to make it tonight.
809
00:57:46,465 --> 00:57:47,466
Better check the wine.
810
00:57:47,966 --> 00:57:49,968
Oh, but he's back.
I told him to meet us here.
811
00:57:49,968 --> 00:57:52,471
I know, dear,
but when I talked to h
im on the phone just now,
812
00:57:52,471 --> 00:57:56,475
he said he was too
exhausted from his tri
p, that he wouldn't come.
813
00:57:56,475 --> 00:57:58,477
Virginia, would you
check the guest list?
814
00:57:59,978 --> 00:58:01,480
It's a good thing,
if you ask me.
815
00:58:01,980 --> 00:58:03,982
What do you mean?
816
00:58:03,982 --> 00:58:06,485
Well, we all want everythi
to be nice for the dean's
farewell dinner, don't we?
817
00:58:06,485 --> 00:58:08,487
Are you implying
that my Uncle Jonathan...
818
00:58:08,487 --> 00:58:11,490
Look, don't get be
nt out of shape.
Your uncle's okay.
819
00:58:11,490 --> 00:58:14,993
I guess. But everybody kno
he's a little bit kooks.
820
00:58:14,993 --> 00:58:16,995
Kooks!
Yeah.
821
00:58:16,995 --> 00:58:19,498
Well, like that night
he chased us in
Professor Fenster's car.
822
00:58:19,498 --> 00:58:21,500
And, well, you
heard about those
mice, didn't you?
823
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:23,502
Jimmy Kellgore, if you...
824
00:58:23,502 --> 00:58:25,003
Oh, forget it.
Let's sit down, huh?
825
00:58:25,003 --> 00:58:26,505
James?
Yeah, Dad?
826
00:58:26,505 --> 00:58:28,006
Would you come here?
827
00:58:28,006 --> 00:58:29,508
Excuse me.
828
00:58:32,010 --> 00:58:33,512
Yeah, Dad?
829
00:58:33,512 --> 00:58:35,514
Now, James, I want to
caution you about the
way you behave tonight.
830
00:58:35,514 --> 00:58:37,516
No raucousness
or ungentlemanly
behavior.
831
00:58:38,016 --> 00:58:39,017
Oh, sure, Dad.
832
00:58:39,017 --> 00:58:41,019
This is a very important
evening, you understand.
833
00:58:41,019 --> 00:58:43,021
The dean still hasn't
named a successor,
834
00:58:43,021 --> 00:58:47,526
and his decision could stand
or fall on the impression
that I create at the dinner.
835
00:58:47,526 --> 00:58:49,528
Understand?
I dig.
836
00:58:49,528 --> 00:58:51,530
Don't... Speak English.
837
00:59:32,070 --> 00:59:33,572
Oh, dear.
838
00:59:33,572 --> 00:59:35,073
Good evening, my dear Dean.
839
00:59:35,073 --> 00:59:36,074
Professor.
840
00:59:36,074 --> 00:59:38,076
Good evening... Oh!
841
00:59:38,076 --> 00:59:42,080
Mrs. Updike. May I say
that you look dangerously
lovely this evening?
842
00:59:43,582 --> 00:59:48,086
Professor Kellgore,
you say the
most awful things.
843
00:59:48,086 --> 00:59:50,088
It was very nice of you
to preside tonight, Kellgore.
844
00:59:50,088 --> 00:59:52,090
Well, when I heard
that Professor Jones
would be absent,
845
00:59:52,090 --> 00:59:54,092
I felt that someone
had to take things in hand.
846
00:59:54,092 --> 00:59:57,095
Yes, quite so.
Poor Jones.
847
00:59:57,095 --> 01:00:03,602
Excellent man, really, but...
I'm sorry, my dear,
I didn't mean to...
848
01:00:03,602 --> 01:00:06,104
That's all right, sir.
849
01:00:06,104 --> 01:00:10,108
Shall we sit down?
The others should
be along presently.
850
01:00:10,108 --> 01:00:12,611
Dean, the chair of honor,
of course. There you are
851
01:00:12,611 --> 01:00:14,112
Get out of the way,
will you?
852
01:00:14,112 --> 01:00:18,116
Mrs. Updike, would you grace
our table with your radiance?
853
01:00:18,116 --> 01:00:20,619
Charmed.
854
01:00:20,619 --> 01:00:24,623
"When in disgrace with
fortune and men's eyes
855
01:00:24,623 --> 01:00:29,127
"I all alone beweep
my outcast state."
856
01:00:29,127 --> 01:00:30,629
Here's how.
857
01:00:35,133 --> 01:00:39,137
"And trouble deaf heaven
with my bootless cries,
858
01:00:39,137 --> 01:00:42,641
"and look upon myself,
and curse my fate."
859
01:00:44,142 --> 01:00:45,143
Oh...
860
01:00:50,148 --> 01:00:54,653
And speaking of our
beloved dean's regretted
departure from our midst
861
01:00:54,653 --> 01:00:59,658
I would like to borrow an
aphorism from the works
of the great La Rochefoucauld.
862
01:00:59,658 --> 01:01:00,659
The...
863
01:01:06,665 --> 01:01:11,169
Hello, everybody.
Sorry I'm late.
Accept my apologies, Horatio.
864
01:01:11,169 --> 01:01:14,172
Yes, yes. It's good to see
you, Jones. Most unexpected.
865
01:01:14,172 --> 01:01:15,674
Did you have a nice trip?
866
01:01:15,674 --> 01:01:17,175
Fantastic.
867
01:01:17,676 --> 01:01:20,178
I hope you didn't miss
the Lincoln Memorial,
a very moving experience
868
01:01:20,178 --> 01:01:23,682
Brings tears to my eyes
every time I see it.
869
01:01:25,183 --> 01:01:27,185
Yeah, well,
if you don't mind,
just sit down, please.
870
01:01:27,185 --> 01:01:28,687
Yes.
871
01:01:29,688 --> 01:01:30,689
Traitor.
872
01:01:31,189 --> 01:01:33,692
Jonathan, you... n.
Don't bother to explai
874
01:01:38,697 --> 01:01:42,200
My dear friends... Friends?
876
01:01:44,703 --> 01:01:48,206
My dear and true friends,
877
01:01:48,206 --> 01:01:52,711
although I usually abstain
from intoxicating spirits,
878
01:01:52,711 --> 01:01:55,213
I would on this occasi
on like to indulge
879
01:01:55,714 --> 01:01:59,718
in sort of a token
sip of this
ceremonial champagne
880
01:02:00,218 --> 01:02:02,721
It is indeed fitting
that I propose a toast
881
01:02:02,721 --> 01:02:04,222
to our beloved dean.
882
01:02:04,723 --> 01:02:08,727
And put into words
the true feelings
in my heart...
883
01:02:08,727 --> 01:02:09,728
Zotz!
884
01:02:10,729 --> 01:02:22,240
Your knowledge has
been a guiding hand
886
01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:29,247
for all these many years
887
01:02:31,249 --> 01:02:38,256
building towards dedication
888
01:02:38,256 --> 01:02:42,761
to something recognized
889
01:02:42,761 --> 01:02:47,265
the whole world over
890
01:02:47,265 --> 01:02:52,270
in the tremendous force
891
01:02:52,270 --> 01:02:58,276
of the noble language.
892
01:02:59,277 --> 01:03:10,789
And so on this
emotional occasion...
894
01:03:12,290 --> 01:03:15,794
It's disgraceful.
The man's making a drunken
exhibition of himself.
895
01:03:15,794 --> 01:03:17,295
I know, my dear,
but what can I do?
896
01:03:17,295 --> 01:03:18,797
Assert yourself.
897
01:03:18,797 --> 01:03:22,300
...hold this party
898
01:03:22,801 --> 01:03:23,802
in recognition...
899
01:03:23,802 --> 01:03:26,304
Yes, yes, Kellgore.
Very nice indeed of you.
900
01:03:26,805 --> 01:03:27,806
Thank you.
901
01:03:27,806 --> 01:03:34,813
But I haven't finished yet.
902
01:03:34,813 --> 01:03:37,816
Thank you, Kellgore.
That will be all.
903
01:03:54,833 --> 01:03:58,837
I'm sure what my
colleague, Professor
Kellgore, means to say
904
01:03:59,337 --> 01:04:02,340
is something which all of
us feel in our hearts,
905
01:04:02,340 --> 01:04:05,844
but find very
difficult to express
906
01:04:05,844 --> 01:04:10,849
Simply ave atque vale.
907
01:04:11,349 --> 01:04:13,852
Hail and farewell.
908
01:04:13,852 --> 01:04:15,353
Hail and farewell.
909
01:04:15,854 --> 01:04:17,355
Hail and farewell.
910
01:04:17,355 --> 01:04:18,857
Hail.
911
01:04:18,857 --> 01:04:23,361
Thank you, Jonathan.
Thank you very much.
912
01:04:23,361 --> 01:04:25,864
It's good to have
you among us again.
913
01:04:27,365 --> 01:04:30,368
And now, for heaven's sake,
let's enjoy ourselves.
914
01:04:33,371 --> 01:04:34,873
Professor Jones?
915
01:04:34,873 --> 01:04:36,374
Yes, I'm Jones.
916
01:04:36,374 --> 01:04:38,877
A gentleman to see you, sir,
just inside the main entrance.
917
01:04:38,877 --> 01:04:40,378
To see me?
Yes, sir.
918
01:04:40,378 --> 01:04:42,380
Oh, very well. Excuse me.
919
01:04:44,382 --> 01:04:46,384
Who is kooks now?
920
01:04:47,051 --> 01:04:47,969
Here, sir.
921
01:04:48,469 --> 01:04:49,470
Thank you.
922
01:04:49,470 --> 01:04:51,973
Professor Jones?
Yes.
923
01:04:51,973 --> 01:04:52,974
Jonathan Jones?
924
01:04:52,974 --> 01:04:54,475
That's right
925
01:04:54,475 --> 01:04:58,479
Well, I'm sure
glad I was able to
find you so quickly.
926
01:04:58,479 --> 01:05:00,982
My name is Bates,
Josh Bates.
927
01:05:00,982 --> 01:05:02,483
What can I do for you,
Mr. Bates?
928
01:05:02,483 --> 01:05:05,987
Well, it's more a question
of what we can do for you.
929
01:05:05,987 --> 01:05:07,488
I'm with the government,
Professor.
930
01:05:07,989 --> 01:05:08,990
Ah...
931
01:05:08,990 --> 01:05:11,492
And I've been sent to bring
you back to Washington.
932
01:05:11,492 --> 01:05:14,495
I see. Well, perhaps first
thing tomorrow morning.
933
01:05:14,495 --> 01:05:16,497
No, sir. Now.
934
01:05:16,497 --> 01:05:18,499
Now?
935
01:05:18,499 --> 01:05:22,503
Yes, sir. Nobody knows
better than yourself, sir,
how important this matter is.
936
01:05:22,503 --> 01:05:24,505
Yes, but I...
And how timely.
937
01:05:24,505 --> 01:05:26,007
Well, that's true.
938
01:05:26,007 --> 01:05:28,009
However, my friends
and family in there...
939
01:05:28,009 --> 01:05:32,013
And how secret, Professor.
940
01:05:32,013 --> 01:05:35,516
Why, if you were to tell the
that you were flying back
to Washington tonight,
941
01:05:35,516 --> 01:05:37,018
word might leak out.
942
01:05:37,518 --> 01:05:39,520
You have a point, Mr. Bates.
943
01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:43,024
Still, if I could just
have a few seconds
with my niece, I...
944
01:05:43,024 --> 01:05:45,526
There isn't time, Professor.
945
01:05:45,526 --> 01:05:48,029
Please, sir.
The plane is waiting.
946
01:05:48,529 --> 01:05:51,532
Well, you can phone
your niece later.
947
01:05:51,532 --> 01:05:54,035
All right, Mr. Bates.
Let's go.
948
01:06:19,560 --> 01:06:21,062
Very powerful plane.
949
01:06:21,562 --> 01:06:23,564
Only the best
for you, Professor.
950
01:06:26,067 --> 01:06:27,568
Yes, very interesting.
951
01:06:27,568 --> 01:06:31,072
I don't know what happened,
but I had a feeling
like I was floating.
952
01:06:32,573 --> 01:06:34,075
Cynthia, where's your uncle?
953
01:06:34,075 --> 01:06:35,576
I don't know.
954
01:06:37,578 --> 01:06:41,582
I must get a checkup,
you know. I'm sick,
I think. Really.
955
01:06:44,585 --> 01:06:46,087
Excuse me.
956
01:06:46,087 --> 01:06:48,089
Where are you going,
Professor?
957
01:07:31,632 --> 01:07:33,134
Mr. Bates.
Yes?
958
01:07:33,134 --> 01:07:35,636
You are, you said,
with the government?
959
01:07:35,636 --> 01:07:37,138
That's right, Professor.
960
01:07:37,638 --> 01:07:38,639
What government?
961
01:07:39,140 --> 01:07:41,642
You will learn the answer
to that question very soon.
962
01:07:41,642 --> 01:07:43,144
I was afraid of that.
963
01:07:43,644 --> 01:07:46,647
Oh, you need be afraid
of nothing, Professor.
964
01:07:46,647 --> 01:07:48,649
You are to be
our honored guest.
965
01:07:48,649 --> 01:07:50,651
But not in Washington?
966
01:07:50,651 --> 01:07:52,653
Not, as you say,
in Washington.
967
01:07:52,653 --> 01:07:56,657
But this is preposterous!
Why are your people
interested in me?
968
01:07:57,658 --> 01:08:00,161
Something about
an ancient coin.
969
01:08:00,161 --> 01:08:01,662
What coin?
970
01:08:01,662 --> 01:08:03,164
The one with the secrets.
971
01:08:03,164 --> 01:08:05,166
What secrets?
972
01:08:05,166 --> 01:08:08,169
I neither
know nor care.
973
01:08:08,169 --> 01:08:11,672
Atomic secrets, I suppose,
hidden inside it,
974
01:08:11,672 --> 01:08:15,176
or something of that nature.
975
01:08:15,176 --> 01:08:17,178
I will relieve you
of that object.
976
01:08:44,205 --> 01:08:45,706
You will not
do that again.
977
01:08:46,207 --> 01:08:47,708
Oh, no? Why won't I?
978
01:08:47,708 --> 01:08:50,211
Because we have taken
certain precautions.
979
01:08:50,211 --> 01:08:51,712
What kind of precautions?
980
01:08:51,712 --> 01:08:53,214
I will tell you.
981
01:09:04,725 --> 01:09:06,727
I see.
982
01:09:06,727 --> 01:09:08,229
That's right, Professor.
983
01:09:08,229 --> 01:09:10,231
If anything happens to me,
or to this plane,
984
01:09:10,231 --> 01:09:11,732
my comrade, Igor,
has orders...
985
01:09:11,732 --> 01:09:13,234
I understand.
986
01:09:13,234 --> 01:09:14,235
That is good
987
01:09:15,736 --> 01:09:17,238
When we reach
our destination,
988
01:09:17,238 --> 01:09:19,740
you will reveal to us
the secrets of this coin
989
01:09:19,740 --> 01:09:22,743
Until that time,
I will take charge of it
990
01:09:22,743 --> 01:09:23,744
What?
991
01:09:23,744 --> 01:09:25,246
The coin!
992
01:09:25,246 --> 01:09:26,247
Oh. Oh, yes, the coin.
993
01:09:26,747 --> 01:09:28,249
Give it to me.
994
01:09:28,249 --> 01:09:31,752
You don't think I carry
a thing like that around
with me, do you?
995
01:09:32,753 --> 01:09:34,255
What?
996
01:09:34,255 --> 01:09:37,258
It's in a hiding place
back in Saracen Valley.
997
01:09:37,258 --> 01:09:38,259
Back in...
998
01:09:38,259 --> 01:09:39,760
You'll have to turn
the plane around.
999
01:09:39,760 --> 01:09:41,762
Why, I don't know
if we can...
1000
01:10:02,783 --> 01:10:05,286
It will be dangerous
for us to return.
1001
01:10:05,286 --> 01:10:07,788
Dangerous for your niece
and Professor Fenster,
1002
01:10:07,788 --> 01:10:10,791
since we are expected
at our destination
at a specified time,
1003
01:10:10,791 --> 01:10:15,796
and if we do not arrive,
certain instructions
will be radioed to Igor.
1004
01:10:15,796 --> 01:10:19,800
Therefore, I assume
that you will allow
me to search you
1005
01:10:19,800 --> 01:10:23,804
in order to make
absolutely sure that
a return is necessary.
1006
01:10:44,825 --> 01:10:47,828
You're right.
The coin is not on you.
1007
01:11:18,859 --> 01:11:21,362
Now, then, where is
this coin? At your home?
1008
01:11:21,362 --> 01:11:23,364
No.
1009
01:11:23,364 --> 01:11:25,366
Then, where?
1010
01:11:25,366 --> 01:11:27,368
First, you must
take me to the place
1011
01:11:27,368 --> 01:11:29,870
where my niece
and Virginia Fenster
are being held prisoner.
1012
01:11:29,870 --> 01:11:32,373
Before I give you anything,
I must make sure
they're unharmed.
1013
01:11:32,873 --> 01:11:36,877
Capitalist pig!
It is I who make
the bargains here, not you.
1014
01:11:36,877 --> 01:11:39,880
Now, remember this, Bates,
or whatever your name is.
1015
01:11:39,880 --> 01:11:44,885
If those two ladies are hurt
you'll have no threat
to hold over my head.
1016
01:11:44,885 --> 01:11:47,888
And you will no longer
be able to force me
to co-operate with you.
1017
01:11:47,888 --> 01:11:50,891
Now, where are they?
1018
01:11:50,891 --> 01:11:52,893
The cellar of an office
building in your city.
1019
01:11:53,394 --> 01:11:55,396
What building?
1020
01:11:55,396 --> 01:11:57,398
The Consolidated Building.
1021
01:11:57,398 --> 01:12:00,901
Then I suggest
you instruct your friend
to step on the gas.
1022
01:12:36,937 --> 01:12:41,442
Oh, and one more
thing, Mr. Bates Yes?
1024
01:12:41,442 --> 01:12:43,944
I hope you realize
that if we don't
get there in time,
1025
01:12:43,944 --> 01:12:48,949
and your friend receives
his radio orders to harm
those two ladies,
1026
01:12:49,450 --> 01:12:53,454
there will be absolutely
nothing to prevent my
using that secret weapon
1027
01:12:53,454 --> 01:12:55,456
on you again,
do you understand?
1028
01:12:55,956 --> 01:12:56,957
I understand.
1029
01:13:34,495 --> 01:13:35,996
No! No!
1030
01:13:38,499 --> 01:13:42,503
Cynthia. Virginia.
Are you all right?
Thank God.
1031
01:13:59,019 --> 01:14:03,023
Well, Professor,
are you satisfied that
the ladies are unharmed?
1032
01:14:06,026 --> 01:14:08,028
We will go now
and get that coin.
1033
01:14:11,532 --> 01:14:14,535
Yes, I am satisfied
the ladies are unharmed.
1034
01:14:14,535 --> 01:14:19,039
And it is now my pleasure
to inform you that you are
completely within my power.
1035
01:14:19,039 --> 01:14:20,541
What?
1036
01:14:20,541 --> 01:14:22,042
I withheld that power
only to save them.
The hands.
1037
01:14:22,042 --> 01:14:24,044
But now...
Something about the hands.
1038
01:14:24,545 --> 01:14:26,046
Igor!
1039
01:14:28,048 --> 01:14:29,049
Let me...
1040
01:14:29,550 --> 01:14:30,551
Ow!
1041
01:14:37,558 --> 01:14:41,562
I don't know what this
secret weapon of yours is,
or how you operate it.
1042
01:14:44,064 --> 01:14:47,067
I suppose it's some mechanism
concealed in your clothes,
1043
01:14:50,070 --> 01:14:54,074
but I did observe that
in order to activate it,
you had to raise your arms.
1044
01:14:54,074 --> 01:14:57,578
And unless I'm gravely
mistaken, I have now
rendered you powerless.
1045
01:15:02,583 --> 01:15:06,086
It's no use, Professor,
that tape is very strong.
1046
01:15:06,086 --> 01:15:08,589
Now, shall we go
and get that coin?
1047
01:15:09,590 --> 01:15:11,091
All right. You win.
1048
01:15:11,592 --> 01:15:14,595
Very sensible.
After you, sir.
1049
01:15:14,595 --> 01:15:17,598
May I say goodbye
to my niece?
1050
01:15:21,101 --> 01:15:23,604
I'm a civilized man.
Of course you may.
1051
01:15:24,104 --> 01:15:25,105
Thank you.
1052
01:15:27,608 --> 01:15:30,110
Uncle Jonathan.
1053
01:15:30,611 --> 01:15:33,113
Listen, if you
and Virginia make a run
for it, they won't follow.
1054
01:15:33,113 --> 01:15:36,617
They're more interested in
me. Get to the police
and bring them back here.
1055
01:15:36,617 --> 01:15:38,118
But...
Do as I say.
1056
01:15:40,621 --> 01:15:43,624
All right, Jones.
That's enough.
1057
01:15:44,124 --> 01:15:45,626
You and I will go
for the coin.
1058
01:15:45,626 --> 01:15:48,128
Igor will remain here
with the ladies
in the event that...
1059
01:15:48,128 --> 01:15:50,130
Run! Hurry! Run!
1060
01:16:09,149 --> 01:16:11,652
Don't you want that coin?
1061
01:16:11,652 --> 01:16:14,655
I've got it!
It's in my pocket.
I've had it all the time.
1062
01:16:14,655 --> 01:16:15,656
You're lying.
1063
01:16:15,656 --> 01:16:16,657
Am I?
1064
01:16:16,657 --> 01:16:18,158
I've searched you.
1065
01:16:18,158 --> 01:16:19,660
Not well enough.
1066
01:16:19,660 --> 01:16:21,662
Well, if you really have i
throw it to me.
1067
01:16:21,662 --> 01:16:25,666
With my hands like this?
Uh-uh. If you want it,
come and get it.
1068
01:16:26,667 --> 01:16:28,168
Zotz!
1069
01:17:05,956 --> 01:17:07,958
Jones, I warn you.
I want that coin!
1070
01:17:08,459 --> 01:17:09,960
You'll have to take it!
1071
01:17:17,468 --> 01:17:19,470
May I remind you that
you are now powerless?
1072
01:17:25,976 --> 01:17:28,979
Jones, I want that coin.
1073
01:17:30,481 --> 01:17:32,983
I'll give you till
the count of three.
1074
01:17:35,486 --> 01:17:38,989
One... Bates, listen.
1076
01:17:39,490 --> 01:17:41,992
No discussions, please.
Just the coin. Two...
1077
01:17:41,992 --> 01:17:43,494
I... I...
1078
01:17:43,994 --> 01:17:45,996
Three!
Zotz!
1079
01:17:48,999 --> 01:17:51,502
Amazing phenomenon,
Bates, isn't it?
1080
01:18:14,525 --> 01:18:16,527
Zotz!
1081
01:18:16,527 --> 01:18:20,531
Take your time, Igor.
Just take your time.
1082
01:18:25,536 --> 01:18:27,538
Wouldn't you know it?
Not a cop in sight.
1083
01:18:43,554 --> 01:18:46,056
Stop this silly game,
Professor.
1084
01:18:46,056 --> 01:18:47,558
Give me the coin
and no harm will come...
1085
01:18:47,558 --> 01:18:48,559
No!
1086
01:18:52,563 --> 01:18:56,066
Professor,
don't be ridiculous!
1087
01:18:56,066 --> 01:18:57,067
You'll fall.
1088
01:18:57,067 --> 01:18:58,569
Don't worry about me.
1089
01:19:03,574 --> 01:19:06,076
Zotz!
1090
01:20:50,180 --> 01:20:51,181
Stop! Stop, I say!
1091
01:20:51,682 --> 01:20:52,683
Zotz!
1092
01:21:24,214 --> 01:21:25,215
That's it.
1093
01:21:25,215 --> 01:21:26,717
Zotz!
1094
01:21:26,717 --> 01:21:30,220
It's no use.
You are powerless
without that coin!
1095
01:21:51,241 --> 01:21:52,743
Bates, I warn you.
1096
01:21:56,246 --> 01:21:58,749
The slightest
noise or vibration...
1097
01:23:20,330 --> 01:23:22,332
What are your plans no
w, Professor Zotz?
1098
01:23:22,332 --> 01:23:25,335
The name is Jones,
young man.
Jonathan Jones.
1099
01:23:25,335 --> 01:23:29,840
And my plans are to return
to Saracen Valley College
on the next plane
1100
01:23:30,340 --> 01:23:34,845
and begin my
duties as the new
dean of languages.
1101
01:23:34,845 --> 01:23:37,848
General Bullivar,
do you think the coin
will be recovered?
1102
01:23:37,848 --> 01:23:39,349
Well, it's hard to say.
1103
01:23:39,850 --> 01:23:42,853
It might have floated all
the way out into the Pacific.
Needle in a haystack.
1104
01:23:42,853 --> 01:23:48,859
However, we're using
maximum effort, radar,
sonar, loren, submarines...
1105
01:23:49,359 --> 01:23:50,861
The newest type
of magnetic devices.
1106
01:23:50,861 --> 01:23:53,363
Oh, modern science
is a wonderful thing.
1107
01:23:53,363 --> 01:23:56,366
My personal opinion is that
we stand an even chance
1108
01:23:56,366 --> 01:23:58,869
of regaining the coin
for the good of humanity.
1109
01:23:58,869 --> 01:24:00,370
What do you think, Professor?
1110
01:24:00,871 --> 01:24:01,872
Well, I agree
with the general
1111
01:24:02,372 --> 01:24:05,375
I think the chances
are excellent that
the coin will be found.
1112
01:24:05,375 --> 01:24:07,377
Bye, General.
Thanks again
for your hospitality
1113
01:24:07,377 --> 01:24:12,883
Thank you for overlooking
the unfortunate circumstances
of our first meeting.
1114
01:24:14,384 --> 01:24:17,888
That's a private
joke, gentlemen.
1115
01:24:17,888 --> 01:24:21,892
Our congratulations again.
I know that you two are
going to be very happy.
1116
01:24:21,892 --> 01:24:23,393
Goodbye, sir.
Come, Mrs. Jones
1117
01:24:23,393 --> 01:24:26,396
We have time for just
one short visit before
we catch the plane.
1118
01:24:26,897 --> 01:24:28,398
Visit? With whom?
1119
01:24:28,398 --> 01:24:31,401
Someone that we both
should meet, I think
1120
01:24:31,401 --> 01:24:32,402
Goodbye, sir.
Goodbye.
1121
01:24:32,402 --> 01:24:34,905
Gentlemen.
Goodbye, General
1122
01:24:34,905 --> 01:24:35,906
Bye-bye.
- Bye.
1123
01:25:00,931 --> 01:25:04,935
For once, Horatio Kellgore
and I see eye to eye.
1124
01:25:22,619 --> 01:25:24,121
Zotz all!
85416
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