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It's typical for young
people to admire rock stars.
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For my sister, it was Cyndi Lauper.
3
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For my brother, it was Bon Jovi.
4
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Well, Jon, we look good.
5
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♪ Oh, we're livin' on... ♪
6
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For me, the rock star
I admired most was...
7
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Albert Einstein.
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00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:31,940
Did you know Einstein
loved playing the violin?
9
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So?
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He believed music helped him
formulate his theories.
11
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So?
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Einstein was arguably the
greatest scientific mind
13
00:00:40,020 --> 00:00:41,300
of the 20th century.
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If music helped him,
maybe it could help me.
15
00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:45,020
So?
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00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:48,240
I got to go talk to my mom.
17
00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:50,060
- Everything okay?
- Yeah,
18
00:00:50,070 --> 00:00:51,940
she's just got some problems
she's dealing with.
19
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:54,000
Kind of personal. Will
you make the kids lunch?
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00:00:54,010 --> 00:00:55,950
- Ah, do I have to?
- George?
21
00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:57,310
Happy to.
22
00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:58,800
Be right back.
23
00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:02,660
What do y'all want for lunch?
24
00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:04,480
Peanut butter and jelly, please.
25
00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:05,510
Great. Missy?
26
00:01:05,530 --> 00:01:09,170
Tuna salad on rye toast,
27
00:01:09,180 --> 00:01:10,840
with sliced pickles and...
28
00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:12,560
Two PBJs, got it.
29
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,140
What is going on?
30
00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:17,150
- Well...
- Well, what?
31
00:01:17,220 --> 00:01:19,820
- I'm trying to say it.
- You woke me up.
32
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,500
Spill it or I'm going back to bed.
33
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I'm pregnant.
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I'm awake now.
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- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
36
00:01:44,470 --> 00:01:45,950
Are you sure?
37
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:47,370
Yes. I'm late.
38
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- How late?
- Two days.
39
00:01:49,180 --> 00:01:51,090
Oh, two days. That's nothing.
40
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:54,010
Last time I was two days
late, I had the twins.
41
00:01:54,020 --> 00:01:56,850
Last time I was two days
late, I had menopause.
42
00:01:57,940 --> 00:02:00,080
Just trying to lighten the mood.
43
00:02:01,220 --> 00:02:03,140
So do you have...
44
00:02:03,150 --> 00:02:06,270
reason to think that you might be?
45
00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:09,460
Well, we try to be
safe, but... you know,
46
00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:10,900
heat of the moment.
47
00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:13,560
Still? After three kids
and that beer belly
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00:02:13,570 --> 00:02:15,320
- hanging over his pants?
- Mom?
49
00:02:15,330 --> 00:02:18,870
I think you might be getting
way ahead of yourself.
50
00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:21,200
I'm telling you, I just know.
51
00:02:21,220 --> 00:02:24,970
You were also convinced that
Georgie was gonna be a girl.
52
00:02:24,980 --> 00:02:27,080
That's true.
53
00:02:27,090 --> 00:02:30,200
Although he does have very pretty hair.
54
00:02:32,940 --> 00:02:33,950
Hello.
55
00:02:33,980 --> 00:02:35,140
Hi, Sheldon.
56
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I'd like to learn to play the violin.
57
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Really? Well, that's terrific.
58
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Do you have any experience
with stringed instruments?
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00:02:43,350 --> 00:02:44,980
Stringed instruments, no.
60
00:02:44,990 --> 00:02:46,760
String theory, yes.
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00:02:48,010 --> 00:02:50,960
That was a joke. I'm a joker.
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00:02:50,990 --> 00:02:53,290
I think I have an old
violin you can take home
63
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:54,400
and get the feel of.
64
00:02:54,410 --> 00:02:55,880
That's great.
65
00:02:55,910 --> 00:02:56,970
Thank you.
66
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,470
But I have to warn you,
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00:02:58,490 --> 00:03:00,560
it can be a frustrating
instrument to learn.
68
00:03:00,570 --> 00:03:02,570
- Can you play it?
- Yes.
69
00:03:02,590 --> 00:03:03,830
I'll be fine.
70
00:03:14,230 --> 00:03:16,510
I don't see them.
71
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:17,930
Excuse me.
72
00:03:17,940 --> 00:03:19,690
Where do you keep your pregnancy tests?
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00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:20,720
Mom.
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00:03:20,730 --> 00:03:22,390
Behind the counter at the pharmacy.
75
00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:23,860
Thank you.
76
00:03:23,910 --> 00:03:25,860
Would you please be a
little more discreet?
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00:03:25,890 --> 00:03:27,600
She doesn't know it's for you.
78
00:03:27,610 --> 00:03:29,600
Well, it sure isn't for you.
79
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:31,320
Come on.
80
00:03:31,330 --> 00:03:33,250
Ow. No.
81
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,500
Well, go ahead.
82
00:03:34,510 --> 00:03:35,880
- I can't.
- Why not?
83
00:03:35,890 --> 00:03:37,960
His daughter goes to Missy's school.
84
00:03:37,970 --> 00:03:40,350
You are being ridiculous.
85
00:03:40,370 --> 00:03:42,530
I don't need the world
knowing my business.
86
00:03:42,550 --> 00:03:43,610
Okay, fine.
87
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,590
- Hello!
- Oh!
88
00:03:46,610 --> 00:03:48,340
Excuse me.
89
00:03:48,350 --> 00:03:50,090
- Hi, can I help you?
- Yes.
90
00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:52,600
Uh, I need a... pregnancy test.
91
00:03:52,610 --> 00:03:53,680
Sure.
92
00:03:53,690 --> 00:03:54,760
We have a few options.
93
00:03:54,770 --> 00:03:56,350
Hey, Connie.
94
00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,430
Oh, hey, Brenda.
95
00:03:58,470 --> 00:04:00,270
Oh, you-you pick.
96
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:01,770
Is that a pregnancy test?
97
00:04:01,810 --> 00:04:04,320
Uh, yeah.
98
00:04:04,330 --> 00:04:05,700
It's for me.
99
00:04:05,750 --> 00:04:08,570
- Really?
- Yes.
100
00:04:08,610 --> 00:04:11,500
I come from a long line
of really fertile women.
101
00:04:11,530 --> 00:04:13,530
My mother had me when she was 57.
102
00:04:13,540 --> 00:04:14,630
Can you believe it?
103
00:04:14,710 --> 00:04:16,700
I don't think I can.
104
00:04:16,710 --> 00:04:18,230
Dr. Sturgis and I have been dating
105
00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:20,450
for some time and we
really try to be careful,
106
00:04:20,470 --> 00:04:22,790
but you know how it is.
107
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,750
Heat of the moment.
108
00:04:25,430 --> 00:04:27,130
Hi, Mrs. Cooper!
109
00:04:28,470 --> 00:04:30,060
Hi, Billy.
110
00:04:30,110 --> 00:04:32,060
Are you playing hide-and-seek?
111
00:04:32,090 --> 00:04:34,220
Um, yeah.
112
00:04:34,230 --> 00:04:36,270
Don't tell anybody. Shh.
113
00:04:36,870 --> 00:04:38,310
Bye, Mrs. Cooper!
114
00:04:38,370 --> 00:04:39,640
Oh!
115
00:04:39,650 --> 00:04:43,160
Thank you so much. Bye.
116
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,490
Wish me luck.
117
00:04:46,540 --> 00:04:49,750
It's a bit worn. But it's
fine for a beginner.
118
00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:55,660
That was unpleasant.
119
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,830
It just takes some practice.
120
00:04:57,890 --> 00:05:00,210
Very well. When is my first lesson?
121
00:05:00,220 --> 00:05:02,990
I'm... pretty busy right now.
122
00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:06,550
But I can give you this in the meantime.
123
00:05:07,010 --> 00:05:08,930
Anyone Can Play Violin.
124
00:05:08,970 --> 00:05:10,950
They don't set the bar very high.
125
00:05:12,850 --> 00:05:15,560
You know what you need to do?
126
00:05:15,570 --> 00:05:16,750
Yes.
127
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:20,600
How's it going?
128
00:05:20,610 --> 00:05:23,240
It'd be a lot easier to pee
if you'd stop talking.
129
00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:24,650
Sorry.
130
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:31,570
Now it's too quiet. Say something.
131
00:05:32,090 --> 00:05:35,080
I know you didn't expect this,
132
00:05:35,090 --> 00:05:37,870
and you still might not be, but...
133
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:41,200
but if it turns out you are...
134
00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:43,510
I'm here for you.
135
00:05:43,570 --> 00:05:45,890
Thanks, Mom.
136
00:05:45,950 --> 00:05:48,510
You're not the one I'm worried about.
137
00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:51,130
If I'm pregnant, George
is gonna flip out.
138
00:05:51,140 --> 00:05:53,720
I'm sure he would at first.
139
00:05:53,730 --> 00:05:55,850
Then he would calm down.
140
00:05:55,860 --> 00:05:58,810
Take a few beers.
141
00:05:59,820 --> 00:06:01,440
Maybe some malt liquor.
142
00:06:01,450 --> 00:06:04,030
I suppose.
143
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:07,450
The truth is, he and I were both
144
00:06:07,460 --> 00:06:09,280
freaked out about having twins.
145
00:06:09,290 --> 00:06:12,290
But now I can't imagine
life without them.
146
00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:14,200
Well, see, there you are.
147
00:06:14,210 --> 00:06:18,070
So, no matter what that test says,
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00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:19,990
you're gonna be okay.
149
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,050
You're right.
150
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,550
What's it say?
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00:06:26,110 --> 00:06:28,270
I'm gonna go buy that malt liquor.
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00:06:34,750 --> 00:06:35,840
To get started,
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00:06:35,850 --> 00:06:38,280
place your violin in rest position.
154
00:06:38,290 --> 00:06:39,910
Your feet should be together.
155
00:06:39,930 --> 00:06:41,590
Your right arm should be
156
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:42,960
over your instrument,
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00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:45,910
not touching the strings or the bridge.
158
00:06:46,390 --> 00:06:48,110
- Put your left hand...
- What are you doing?
159
00:06:48,170 --> 00:06:49,830
What does it look like?
160
00:06:49,850 --> 00:06:51,550
Like you're looking for another excuse
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00:06:51,570 --> 00:06:53,080
for kids to pick on you.
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00:06:53,090 --> 00:06:55,230
Now, you are ready to
position your feet.
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00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:58,200
Zip your feet open and step forward
164
00:06:58,210 --> 00:07:00,290
with your left foot.
165
00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:01,870
- Your feet should...
- What are you doing?
166
00:07:01,930 --> 00:07:04,870
I was gonna watch DuckTales,
but this looks funnier.
167
00:07:04,950 --> 00:07:07,100
... procedure for positioning
the violin on your shoulder.
168
00:07:07,110 --> 00:07:10,570
Hold your violin above the left foot
169
00:07:10,590 --> 00:07:12,570
with the neck of the
instrument pointing up.
170
00:07:12,580 --> 00:07:14,440
Left foot, neck up.
171
00:07:14,450 --> 00:07:16,360
Now rotate the neck of the instrument
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00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:19,190
counterclockwise, so
that the neck points
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00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:20,790
at your left foot.
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00:07:20,810 --> 00:07:23,090
- Oh, boy.
- I was right.
175
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,530
Bend your left elbow so that the violin
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00:07:25,540 --> 00:07:27,230
rests on your shoulder
177
00:07:27,250 --> 00:07:29,150
and place your head on the chin rest.
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00:07:29,170 --> 00:07:32,210
Now try dropping your left hand.
179
00:07:32,230 --> 00:07:33,830
See if you can hold your instrument
180
00:07:33,850 --> 00:07:35,530
without your hands.
181
00:07:35,550 --> 00:07:37,650
- Time yourself at this...
- What's going on?
182
00:07:37,710 --> 00:07:40,470
I'm learning to play the violin.
183
00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:42,370
It's my new favorite show.
184
00:07:42,390 --> 00:07:45,020
Once you feel you have
control of your instrument,
185
00:07:45,030 --> 00:07:48,250
try moving your hands around.
186
00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:57,840
Repeat this procedure
until you can position
187
00:07:57,850 --> 00:08:00,450
your instrument comfortably and quickly.
188
00:08:05,950 --> 00:08:07,610
He'll just be another minute.
189
00:08:07,630 --> 00:08:09,290
Thank you.
190
00:08:12,670 --> 00:08:14,970
- What's that about?
- Oh...
191
00:08:15,030 --> 00:08:17,830
just trying not to breathe the smoke in.
192
00:08:17,890 --> 00:08:19,270
Come on.
193
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,890
It already went through
the filter and my lungs.
194
00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:24,390
This stuff is squeaky clean.
195
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,170
Well, still.
196
00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:29,780
He's all yours, your highness.
197
00:08:29,790 --> 00:08:31,210
All right.
198
00:08:33,050 --> 00:08:34,800
Hey, Mare, what's up?
199
00:08:34,810 --> 00:08:36,460
Other than the big guy.
200
00:08:36,470 --> 00:08:37,650
God joke.
201
00:08:37,660 --> 00:08:42,240
Actually, um, I could use some guidance.
202
00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:43,710
I got some news today,
203
00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:46,490
and I'm not quite sure
how I feel about it.
204
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,790
Of course. Sit.
205
00:08:52,180 --> 00:08:56,060
Well... I am...
206
00:08:56,070 --> 00:08:58,010
um...
207
00:08:58,020 --> 00:08:59,510
with child.
208
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:01,320
That's wonderful!
209
00:09:01,330 --> 00:09:02,850
Congratulations!
210
00:09:02,870 --> 00:09:04,510
How far along are you?
211
00:09:04,550 --> 00:09:06,430
Uh, could you keep it
down just a little?
212
00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:08,100
I haven't exactly told George yet.
213
00:09:08,110 --> 00:09:10,270
Got it. And why not?
214
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:11,690
It is his, right?
215
00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:13,360
Of course.
216
00:09:13,370 --> 00:09:15,050
Apologies.
217
00:09:15,070 --> 00:09:16,990
Hey, I'm a pastor in a small town.
218
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:20,530
You wouldn't believe the
juicy things I hear.
219
00:09:21,990 --> 00:09:24,950
This just wasn't part of our plan.
220
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,670
Well, luckily... it's
part of God's plan.
221
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:29,840
And let me tell you about another Mary
222
00:09:29,850 --> 00:09:32,590
who didn't know how to tell her
husband she was expecting.
223
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,550
And her story is way weirder than yours.
224
00:09:38,310 --> 00:09:40,770
In order to practice this, move your bow
225
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:44,100
in a counterclockwise direction.
226
00:09:44,110 --> 00:09:47,810
Keep your hand moving right
with the tip of the bow.
227
00:09:47,830 --> 00:09:48,910
For our next song,
228
00:09:48,930 --> 00:09:50,430
"Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,"
229
00:09:50,450 --> 00:09:53,430
remember, posture is our
most important thing.
230
00:09:53,450 --> 00:09:54,950
Set, play.
231
00:10:07,570 --> 00:10:09,670
Did you hear that? I did it!
232
00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:11,340
I don't think you did.
233
00:10:12,110 --> 00:10:15,130
And now we see how it helps my science.
234
00:10:16,310 --> 00:10:18,730
Hmm.
235
00:10:18,810 --> 00:10:21,410
Hmm...
236
00:10:23,770 --> 00:10:25,810
Come on, think.
237
00:10:27,450 --> 00:10:29,510
Probably needs more "Twinkle, Twinkle."
238
00:10:29,530 --> 00:10:31,210
... for learning new songs.
239
00:10:31,230 --> 00:10:33,240
You can play them along with me.
240
00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:44,030
What the hell is that?
241
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,950
Sheldon's learning to play the violin.
242
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,290
Oh. Well, that's unfortunate.
243
00:10:49,350 --> 00:10:50,450
Mm-hmm.
244
00:10:50,460 --> 00:10:52,530
I'm gonna go change.
245
00:10:55,210 --> 00:10:56,570
Hey, Dad.
246
00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:59,130
Can you believe I only
started playing today?
247
00:10:59,140 --> 00:11:00,890
I really can.
248
00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,230
Hey, so there's something
249
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,030
I've been meaning to talk to you about.
250
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,230
Sure, what's up?
251
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:21,950
Now, before I say it, um,
252
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,990
I want to tell you a
story of another Mary.
253
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,710
Um...
254
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,320
Okay, anytime...
255
00:11:28,330 --> 00:11:30,880
Are you kidding me?
256
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:32,500
Keep your voice down.
257
00:11:32,510 --> 00:11:33,890
Are you kidding me?
258
00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,790
Look, I was a little thrown,
too, but Pastor Jeff said...
259
00:11:36,810 --> 00:11:38,330
Pastor Jeff?
260
00:11:38,340 --> 00:11:40,030
Pastor Jeff knows before me?
261
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,890
Well, yeah, I needed someone to talk to,
262
00:11:42,900 --> 00:11:45,010
- and, you know, my mom...
- Your mom?
263
00:11:45,030 --> 00:11:46,130
Shh!
264
00:11:46,170 --> 00:11:47,830
Does the whole damn town know?
265
00:11:47,850 --> 00:11:51,290
No. Just my mom and Pastor Jeff.
266
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:54,570
And maybe Brenda Sparks.
267
00:11:54,610 --> 00:11:56,490
Probably Peg...
268
00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:00,240
and whoever she told, but that is it.
269
00:12:00,250 --> 00:12:01,270
Oh, is that it?
270
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,440
Great news!
271
00:12:03,450 --> 00:12:04,740
Not a good time, Sheldon.
272
00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:06,710
But it's really important.
273
00:12:06,730 --> 00:12:08,230
Ugh.
274
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:13,200
I figured out why the
violin worked for Einstein
275
00:12:13,230 --> 00:12:14,670
and not for me.
276
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:16,950
I need to become a Jewish person.
277
00:12:25,060 --> 00:12:27,880
- Sheldon, dinner!
- Coming.
278
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,050
Sorry I'm late. Shalom.
279
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,050
What's on your head?
280
00:12:38,060 --> 00:12:40,230
- A yarmulke.
- A yama-what?
281
00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:41,940
It's a special Jewish hat.
282
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:44,790
It reminds the wearer that
God is always over you.
283
00:12:46,130 --> 00:12:47,540
Mom.
284
00:12:47,550 --> 00:12:49,160
Oh, come on, it's funny.
285
00:12:49,180 --> 00:12:51,320
It's not funny and it's not a yarmulke.
286
00:12:51,340 --> 00:12:53,680
It is a coaster I
crocheted at Bible camp.
287
00:12:55,140 --> 00:12:56,680
Are you gonna say something to him?
288
00:12:56,690 --> 00:12:59,700
Normally I would, but I got
bigger problems right now.
289
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,390
- Let's just say grace.
- Hold on.
290
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,470
Are these hot dogs kosher?
291
00:13:12,070 --> 00:13:13,500
Over the next few days,
292
00:13:13,510 --> 00:13:15,590
I continued to play the violin
293
00:13:15,610 --> 00:13:19,430
in an effort to replicate the
mental prowess of Einstein.
294
00:13:19,490 --> 00:13:22,410
I was asked to confine my
practice to the garage
295
00:13:22,430 --> 00:13:25,450
by my father, mother,
sister and brother.
296
00:13:25,490 --> 00:13:27,910
Meemaw was fine with me
practicing in the house,
297
00:13:27,930 --> 00:13:30,430
but why would she care?
She doesn't live with us.
298
00:13:32,340 --> 00:13:33,860
Hey, George.
299
00:13:33,870 --> 00:13:35,670
Hey, Herschel.
300
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,270
Let me guess, you're here to complain
301
00:13:37,290 --> 00:13:38,810
about Sheldon's violin playing.
302
00:13:38,830 --> 00:13:40,940
Under normal circumstances,
I'd say yeah,
303
00:13:40,970 --> 00:13:42,260
but since he started,
304
00:13:42,270 --> 00:13:45,430
my chickens been dropping
eggs like crazy.
305
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:48,320
- That's weird.
- Hey, uh,
306
00:13:48,350 --> 00:13:50,690
I hear congratulations are in order.
307
00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:52,190
What's that you hear?
308
00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:54,440
Maybe I didn't hear it. Never mind.
309
00:13:54,450 --> 00:13:55,640
It's all right.
310
00:13:55,650 --> 00:13:58,060
Seems like everybody knows.
311
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,470
You don't seem terribly enthusiastic.
312
00:14:01,950 --> 00:14:03,810
It's the money, Herschel.
313
00:14:03,820 --> 00:14:05,480
It's all about the money.
314
00:14:05,490 --> 00:14:08,730
Well, there's only one solution to that.
315
00:14:08,740 --> 00:14:10,210
Which is?
316
00:14:10,220 --> 00:14:11,820
You got to make more money.
317
00:14:11,830 --> 00:14:13,930
- Thank you.
- Welcome.
318
00:14:13,950 --> 00:14:15,410
Hey, I got to ask,
319
00:14:15,420 --> 00:14:19,040
did that fiddle playing increase
the fertility in all the females
320
00:14:19,050 --> 00:14:22,080
around here or just my chickens?
321
00:14:22,090 --> 00:14:24,550
I was just throwing it
out there, never mind.
322
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:26,970
Wait here, I'm-a go get you some eggs.
323
00:14:26,980 --> 00:14:29,650
- That's okay.
- You're getting eggs.
324
00:14:29,690 --> 00:14:32,070
Guess I'm getting eggs.
325
00:14:32,130 --> 00:14:34,110
All right, George,
326
00:14:34,130 --> 00:14:37,430
- what's so damn important?
- Well...
327
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:40,010
I don't want to get into
the why's and wherefore's,
328
00:14:40,020 --> 00:14:42,600
but I'm gonna need a raise.
329
00:14:42,610 --> 00:14:44,320
Is this 'cause Mary's pregnant?
330
00:14:44,330 --> 00:14:46,490
You got to be kidding me.
331
00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:48,740
Does everybody in this damn
town know my business?
332
00:14:48,750 --> 00:14:50,690
I just... it was taking a guess.
333
00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:52,970
- Tom.
- My wife told me.
334
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,530
Doesn't matter. What do you say?
335
00:14:56,540 --> 00:14:58,880
Are you threatening to
quit if you don't get it?
336
00:14:58,930 --> 00:15:00,910
No, Tom, I'm threatening to rob a bank.
337
00:15:00,930 --> 00:15:03,450
Okay. All right, well,
let's not do that.
338
00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:07,170
$100 a week do the trick?
339
00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:10,150
Yes. Thanks. Bye.
340
00:15:16,310 --> 00:15:17,640
Temple Judea,
341
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:18,800
how can I help you?
342
00:15:18,810 --> 00:15:20,770
Hello, I'd like to become Jewish.
343
00:15:20,780 --> 00:15:22,610
Who would be in charge of that?
344
00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:23,950
How old are you?
345
00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:26,440
- I'm ten.
- Please hold.
346
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,450
Hello, this is Rabbi Schneiderman.
347
00:15:34,460 --> 00:15:35,960
To whom am I speaking?
348
00:15:36,030 --> 00:15:37,910
Hello, this is Sheldon Cooper.
349
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:41,490
Hello, Sheldon. Um, how can I help you?
350
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:42,979
I'm currently a Baptist
351
00:15:42,980 --> 00:15:45,310
and I'd like to convert to Judaism.
352
00:15:45,390 --> 00:15:47,970
A Baptist named Sheldon.
353
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:50,170
Okay.
354
00:15:50,180 --> 00:15:52,000
And why do you want to convert?
355
00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:53,090
Very simple.
356
00:15:53,110 --> 00:15:55,310
It's my intention to
become a great scientist
357
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:56,559
and I couldn't help but notice
358
00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:58,670
most of the great scientists are Jewish,
359
00:15:58,690 --> 00:16:01,870
so logic dictates it's
time to switch teams.
360
00:16:01,910 --> 00:16:03,510
Well, I'm sure there are
361
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:06,730
many Baptist scientists
you could emulate.
362
00:16:06,740 --> 00:16:08,070
That's kind of you to say,
363
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,520
but other than Cornelius
Drebbel in the 1500s,
364
00:16:10,530 --> 00:16:12,070
it's pretty slim pickings.
365
00:16:13,780 --> 00:16:16,580
Well, Sheldon, you sound
like a very smart young man.
366
00:16:16,590 --> 00:16:18,360
Oh, you have no idea.
367
00:16:18,370 --> 00:16:21,200
Can I ask how your
parents feel about this?
368
00:16:21,210 --> 00:16:23,790
Well, when I presented
them with my plan,
369
00:16:23,810 --> 00:16:26,090
the words "over my dead body" were used.
370
00:16:27,670 --> 00:16:28,960
I'm not surprised.
371
00:16:28,970 --> 00:16:31,090
But they were similarly resistant
372
00:16:31,110 --> 00:16:32,510
when I wanted to get an ant farm
373
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:34,290
and eventually they came around.
374
00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:38,350
All right, here's what I'm
gonna tell you to do.
375
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:39,860
Read your Bible.
376
00:16:39,890 --> 00:16:41,690
Already did, cover to cover.
377
00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:43,640
- Really?
- Quiz me.
378
00:16:43,650 --> 00:16:46,970
No, that's okay, I believe you.
379
00:16:46,980 --> 00:16:50,190
All right, my advice to you
380
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:53,400
is to stay with the
faith of your parents.
381
00:16:53,410 --> 00:16:55,730
- What else you got?
- Okay.
382
00:16:55,740 --> 00:16:58,200
Then I'm gonna tell you
383
00:16:58,210 --> 00:17:00,070
to be your own man.
384
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:03,240
But I want to be a great
scientist like Albert Einstein.
385
00:17:03,250 --> 00:17:04,410
Sheldon,
386
00:17:04,420 --> 00:17:06,710
when your days are over,
387
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:09,500
God will never ask you,
388
00:17:09,510 --> 00:17:13,080
"Why weren't you Einstein?"
389
00:17:13,090 --> 00:17:15,970
But he might ask you,
390
00:17:16,010 --> 00:17:18,410
"Why weren't you Sheldon?"
391
00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:28,850
What's going on? You all right?
392
00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:31,670
I'm not feeling great.
393
00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:33,170
Is it a pregnant thing?
394
00:17:33,190 --> 00:17:35,370
'Cause I got some good news on that.
395
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:38,000
I got a decent raise.
396
00:17:38,070 --> 00:17:39,650
It doesn't matter.
397
00:17:39,670 --> 00:17:41,160
What do you mean it doesn't matter?
398
00:17:41,170 --> 00:17:42,850
We can pull this off now.
399
00:17:44,270 --> 00:17:47,450
I lost the baby.
400
00:17:50,290 --> 00:17:53,010
Oh.
401
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,830
You're probably relieved, huh?
402
00:18:06,070 --> 00:18:09,590
Actually...
403
00:18:09,790 --> 00:18:12,230
... no.
404
00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:19,570
I love the first three.
405
00:18:19,580 --> 00:18:21,750
Fourth one's a charm, right?
406
00:18:26,050 --> 00:18:28,250
Dad?
407
00:18:28,270 --> 00:18:30,470
Mom?
408
00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:34,720
Yeah, Shelly?
409
00:18:34,730 --> 00:18:36,529
I just thought you should know
410
00:18:36,530 --> 00:18:38,050
I'm not going to be Jewish.
411
00:18:38,060 --> 00:18:41,730
I'm going to remain the atheist
Baptist you've come to love.
412
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,840
Good to hear.
413
00:18:45,850 --> 00:18:47,650
Are you crying?
414
00:18:49,860 --> 00:18:52,830
Yeah, but don't worry,
everything's okay.
415
00:18:55,030 --> 00:18:57,530
Good.
416
00:19:01,950 --> 00:19:03,070
Once again,
417
00:19:03,090 --> 00:19:05,000
I brought my mother so much joy
418
00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:06,870
she was moved to tears.
419
00:19:06,890 --> 00:19:09,270
I don't know how I do it.
420
00:19:15,650 --> 00:19:17,830
Tom, George Cooper's here for you.
421
00:19:17,850 --> 00:19:19,670
Send him in.
422
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,000
Hey, Tom, you got a minute?
423
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:23,980
Pretty busy.
424
00:19:23,990 --> 00:19:25,660
Make it quick.
425
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,080
It turns out I don't need that raise.
426
00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:30,730
What happened, you win the lottery?
427
00:19:30,740 --> 00:19:32,860
No, no.
428
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:41,180
Aw, George, I am so sorry.
429
00:19:41,220 --> 00:19:43,860
Well, what can you do?
430
00:19:45,270 --> 00:19:47,210
Listen, I cleared your raise already,
431
00:19:47,230 --> 00:19:48,460
why don't you just keep the money.
432
00:19:48,470 --> 00:19:50,550
- Oh, no, I couldn't do that.
- No.
433
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,350
No, I mean it. It's yours.
434
00:19:54,850 --> 00:19:56,730
Okay.
435
00:19:56,770 --> 00:19:59,270
Thanks. Bye.
436
00:20:01,870 --> 00:20:04,410
Thank you, but I will no
longer be needing these.
437
00:20:04,430 --> 00:20:07,390
You're giving up so soon? What happened?
438
00:20:07,410 --> 00:20:09,020
- Did it hurt your fingers?
- No.
439
00:20:09,030 --> 00:20:11,940
I'm following the advice of a
very wise Rabbi Schneiderman
440
00:20:11,950 --> 00:20:13,830
from Temple Judea in Houston.
441
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,710
Is this another one of your jokes?
442
00:20:16,750 --> 00:20:19,250
No. If it were a joke,
your mouth would be open
443
00:20:19,270 --> 00:20:22,380
and the sound "ha-ha"
would be coming out.
444
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:28,800
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
30252
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