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1
00:00:06,679 --> 00:00:13,774
UBALDA, ALL NAKED AND WARM
2
00:02:23,126 --> 00:02:25,045
Water !
3
00:04:00,144 --> 00:04:04,863
Stop,or I'll send you
to meet your boss in heaven !
4
00:04:04,944 --> 00:04:09,345
Soldier,what do you want ?
Can't you see my holy habit ?
5
00:04:09,436 --> 00:04:13,664
Don't you get it ?
This is a robbery !
6
00:04:13,668 --> 00:04:17,559
Give me your bag or your life...
I'd prefer the bag.
7
00:04:17,801 --> 00:04:22,945
Ok...but stop waving
that huge sword around !
8
00:04:22,988 --> 00:04:28,117
I don't have much money.
I can give you the alms box...
9
00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:36,741
Is it Easter already ?!
10
00:04:41,711 --> 00:04:46,378
Sure,you're right...
I understand,my son.
11
00:04:46,541 --> 00:04:51,525
Six months of war,
homesick,desperate...
12
00:04:51,548 --> 00:04:56,319
... but you shoul never have attacked
a minister of God.
13
00:04:56,322 --> 00:04:59,798
I was hungry.
I've been starving for four days !
14
00:05:00,037 --> 00:05:03,794
All I found was water..
I was so hungry !
15
00:05:03,921 --> 00:05:07,877
One night a soldier bit my nose
and ran off !
16
00:05:07,899 --> 00:05:12,245
- Did you recognize him ?
- Sure,I had his ear in my pocket !
17
00:05:12,285 --> 00:05:15,231
That's no way to do things !
18
00:05:15,339 --> 00:05:19,900
We must love the Lord
and all His creatures...
19
00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:23,387
All His creatures....
20
00:05:39,418 --> 00:05:42,252
I got it...
21
00:05:51,348 --> 00:05:53,958
What's that,bean wine ?
22
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:57,996
- Your health,father !
- Yes,health matters most....
23
00:05:58,014 --> 00:06:01,521
- Where did you say you were going ?
- With the war over...
24
00:06:01,610 --> 00:06:04,297
...I'm going back to my hometown.
"Watch-the-hole".
25
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:08,303
Where you left your wife...
tell me,is she beautiful ?
26
00:06:08,351 --> 00:06:13,626
- She's more than "beautiful"!
- Have women always fallen for you ?
27
00:06:13,890 --> 00:06:18,218
- They died for me !
- For your charm ?
28
00:06:18,331 --> 00:06:21,525
No, I had an infectious disease,
but I'm better now.
29
00:06:21,628 --> 00:06:24,699
So,you were a conqueror...
30
00:06:24,728 --> 00:06:28,242
- Do you know how they call me back home?
- "The asshole".
31
00:06:28,339 --> 00:06:30,343
How did you guess ?
32
00:06:30,399 --> 00:06:33,262
You left your wife alone
to go to war !
33
00:06:33,317 --> 00:06:36,026
Not really "alone",father...
34
00:06:36,124 --> 00:06:39,591
Do you know Deodato
the blacksmith of "Watch-the-hole"?
35
00:06:40,002 --> 00:06:43,689
Master Deodato ?
I've heard of him...
36
00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:47,779
- ...he's the smith who makes...
- ...chastity belts !
37
00:06:48,084 --> 00:06:52,659
He made one for my wife,
wich starts here...
38
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:57,204
...and goes all round,
a net of iron !
39
00:06:57,300 --> 00:07:00,325
And this is the key...
40
00:07:00,424 --> 00:07:05,675
In war I could lose an arm,a leg,
my head...but this never !
41
00:07:05,696 --> 00:07:10,086
Without this,no one's
going to get into my wife !
42
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:16,066
Experience has taught me
that fidelity is one thing...
43
00:07:16,079 --> 00:07:20,074
...and keys are another.
Take advices...
44
00:07:20,097 --> 00:07:23,177
get home
as soon as you can...
45
00:07:23,270 --> 00:07:28,242
Now let's rest... we'll get going
again when it's dark.
46
00:07:28,862 --> 00:07:34,210
Tomorrow morning you'll be
in your wife's arms and...
47
00:07:44,746 --> 00:07:49,498
Sleep,father... we'll catch
something here for sure !
48
00:07:50,705 --> 00:07:55,999
This one won't have a club like yours !
Maybe that's what she's looking for !
49
00:08:11,659 --> 00:08:14,472
Freeze and tramble !
50
00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:19,050
Where are you hiding ?
I only see a timid bottom !
51
00:08:19,141 --> 00:08:22,479
I beg you,take everything,
but don't kill me !
52
00:08:22,492 --> 00:08:25,185
We'll see...
53
00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:30,029
Stand still... I can't take
these head-butts !
54
00:08:30,059 --> 00:08:33,215
My brain's
in a bad already !
55
00:08:33,260 --> 00:08:36,518
What do you want ?
56
00:08:36,692 --> 00:08:40,063
I have nose for these things...
57
00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:45,458
You dummy! These coins
are no longer in circulation .
58
00:08:45,479 --> 00:08:49,556
They were my grandpa's,
I'm no good with...
59
00:08:49,607 --> 00:08:52,781
I am,my dear !
60
00:08:53,340 --> 00:08:56,209
Have mercy,sir !
61
00:08:56,282 --> 00:09:00,345
I've lost everything
in the war but my honor !
62
00:09:00,408 --> 00:09:03,800
You mean you're still a virgin ?
63
00:09:04,491 --> 00:09:08,858
- Yes,stil...
- Then it's time !
64
00:09:08,892 --> 00:09:12,433
Your purse is worthless,
so if you want to save your life...
65
00:09:12,486 --> 00:09:15,183
...what else can you give me ?
66
00:09:17,127 --> 00:09:21,319
Come here.I'll introduce you to
the saint of lovers !
67
00:09:21,415 --> 00:09:25,725
- Who's he ?
- Saint Shaggy !
68
00:09:27,203 --> 00:09:29,546
What do you want now ?
69
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:32,806
Nothing,take me
and be done with it !
70
00:09:32,819 --> 00:09:36,698
No one risist my beauty !
71
00:09:37,356 --> 00:09:41,547
Ah...this armor
has to come off first...
72
00:09:42,521 --> 00:09:45,022
So,do you want me or not ?
73
00:09:45,082 --> 00:09:49,866
I do,but i need a hand
with this scrap iron !
74
00:09:53,539 --> 00:09:57,303
- See how big I am ?
- Big nothing,it's the pitchforck !
75
00:09:57,350 --> 00:10:00,796
Damn,I keep screwing up !
76
00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:05,808
- Do you like it ?
- Yes,I love it !
77
00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:10,905
This is nothing,now you'll feel
my famous masterstroke !
78
00:10:11,562 --> 00:10:14,097
Has the war started again ?!
79
00:10:14,106 --> 00:10:17,687
I started it,
you filthy pig !
80
00:10:17,757 --> 00:10:22,954
First you want to rob me,and now
you want to rape this poor girl !
81
00:10:24,182 --> 00:10:27,215
You've committed a sin against God !
82
00:10:27,277 --> 00:10:32,860
But I didn't even finish !
83
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:37,775
You're taking the wrong road !
If you don't get your stuff...
84
00:10:37,842 --> 00:10:42,961
...and flee far from temptation,
I'll breack your head !
85
00:10:43,028 --> 00:10:47,368
Damn,you look like the devil !
Take this !
86
00:10:47,377 --> 00:10:50,655
Are you giving me the horns ?
87
00:10:50,735 --> 00:10:55,044
Did you think
you'd stay faithful for life ?
88
00:10:55,267 --> 00:10:59,334
Damn,I keep screwing up !
89
00:10:59,581 --> 00:11:03,904
My child,what did
that sinner want ?
90
00:11:03,995 --> 00:11:08,647
I don't know,he jumped on me
and began touching me...
91
00:11:08,653 --> 00:11:12,000
That brute... touched you here ?
92
00:11:12,073 --> 00:11:17,470
- Yes,and behind...
- That pig ! And you ?
93
00:11:17,805 --> 00:11:21,341
I was scared, so I let him !
94
00:11:23,095 --> 00:11:26,646
- Did he touch these too ?
- No...
95
00:11:26,675 --> 00:11:30,144
- No ?
- He kissed them...
96
00:11:31,740 --> 00:11:38,001
He was dragging you to hell !
I'll take care of you,my child...
97
00:11:38,709 --> 00:11:41,951
- What must I do ?
- I'll purrify you...!
98
00:11:42,004 --> 00:11:45,624
I'll cancel your sisns
with my holy body !
99
00:11:45,701 --> 00:11:49,432
Yes,father... I'm so happy !
100
00:11:49,646 --> 00:11:52,917
- Purify me !
- I'll purify you...!
101
00:11:56,628 --> 00:12:01,108
One,two,three,four,
even five times !
102
00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:04,476
I want to become a dove !
103
00:12:04,919 --> 00:12:07,925
Instead of acting the fool,
why not go to war ?
104
00:12:07,973 --> 00:12:11,301
What ? I just got back !
105
00:12:22,564 --> 00:12:27,180
I can't belive it ,
finally I'm home !
106
00:12:28,030 --> 00:12:32,691
Giovanni,it's me... Olimpio !
I'm back from the war !
107
00:12:32,908 --> 00:12:37,213
- Who gives a fuck !
- Right, a touch of human warmth...
108
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:54,442
Argo ! Let's see if
you recognize me !
109
00:12:56,459 --> 00:12:59,976
Wow what a memory !
He recognized me !
110
00:13:02,446 --> 00:13:05,578
Pour my water...
111
00:13:12,403 --> 00:13:17,391
Beautiful...you're so beautiful !
112
00:13:17,568 --> 00:13:21,824
- Do you mean it ?
- Yes,but no one enjoys your beauty .
113
00:13:22,156 --> 00:13:26,237
You fool of husband
went off to war !
114
00:13:26,275 --> 00:13:29,128
Midwife !
115
00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:37,453
What's that noise ?
Go and look...
116
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:47,368
Lady Fiamma
a soldier's coming !
117
00:13:47,384 --> 00:13:49,857
I can't see his face ,but...
118
00:13:49,940 --> 00:13:53,818
- Is it my husband comiing back?
- Yes, it's him !
119
00:13:53,863 --> 00:13:58,003
It seems the war gave him
a holly thrashing !
120
00:13:58,122 --> 00:14:03,183
- Quick, I'll get ready to receive him !
- What a sainted lady you are !
121
00:14:03,184 --> 00:14:07,179
Rather than receive him.
I'd slam the door in his face !
122
00:14:07,224 --> 00:14:09,820
Midwife...
123
00:14:11,940 --> 00:14:14,757
Fiamma !
124
00:14:15,169 --> 00:14:17,982
Did you narrow the door's ?
125
00:14:18,076 --> 00:14:20,642
My lord !
126
00:14:20,667 --> 00:14:24,048
My god, what a mess !
127
00:14:24,083 --> 00:14:27,004
Have you had another bath ?
128
00:14:27,084 --> 00:14:29,514
Did you take one
when I left six months ago ?
129
00:14:29,547 --> 00:14:32,585
I wanted to be beautiful
for your return...
130
00:14:32,636 --> 00:14:35,670
Who told you I was coming back ?
That old witch ?
131
00:14:35,759 --> 00:14:38,303
- Damn you !
- Does she still bite ?
132
00:14:38,325 --> 00:14:42,194
Of course not,my love...
Given the state you're in...
133
00:14:42,234 --> 00:14:46,213
...you should take a bath too.
134
00:14:46,371 --> 00:14:49,524
If the water doesn't mind !
135
00:14:49,541 --> 00:14:52,661
- My lady , I'm off...
- Me too !
136
00:14:52,707 --> 00:14:58,645
- I'll leave the show to you...
- Get back in your cage !
137
00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:03,308
To think how much I prayed
that she'd die !
138
00:15:06,222 --> 00:15:09,921
Your armor isn't easy to open...
139
00:15:10,002 --> 00:15:14,127
It's been falling apart for
six months...and now it won't open !
140
00:15:14,144 --> 00:15:18,652
Relax...
wait , I'll help you.
141
00:15:22,081 --> 00:15:26,955
- Wait, I've got just the thing...
- Go get it !
142
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:36,460
The sladge hammer ?
Are you going to beat me to death ?
143
00:15:36,609 --> 00:15:40,316
How you become an "armor wrecker"?
144
00:15:41,049 --> 00:15:44,280
Do I look like a nail to you ?!
145
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:49,344
Careful !
It's sheet iron !
146
00:15:49,387 --> 00:15:52,744
It gets red hot under the sun !
147
00:15:52,834 --> 00:15:56,348
Once it got so hot...
148
00:15:56,398 --> 00:16:00,429
...that everyone cleared off
rather than burn !
149
00:16:00,548 --> 00:16:05,881
Our captain fried two eggs on me !
150
00:16:07,329 --> 00:16:10,297
- Come here !
- That's done...
151
00:16:10,396 --> 00:16:12,947
..now I'll get you a towel...
152
00:16:12,979 --> 00:16:16,501
The water's all yours...
153
00:16:19,337 --> 00:16:22,768
Do I have to drink it all ?!
154
00:16:24,429 --> 00:16:28,394
- Darling !
- My love, I'm burning with desire !
155
00:16:28,452 --> 00:16:32,555
- You must flee,my husband's back...
- Can't we see each other again ?
156
00:16:32,589 --> 00:16:36,530
I'll let you know ,now go...
157
00:16:36,539 --> 00:16:39,896
- Ah, the key !
- Where's yours ?
158
00:16:41,163 --> 00:16:46,383
- Right... so whose is this ?
- Don't worry, go.
159
00:16:55,335 --> 00:16:58,413
Fiamma, at last !
160
00:16:58,473 --> 00:17:01,862
At last nothing !
My husband's back from the war !
161
00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:06,340
- Didn't they kill him ?
- Hurry Falco, save yourself !
162
00:17:06,842 --> 00:17:10,010
I'll see you in a few days...
163
00:17:10,082 --> 00:17:12,618
- Bye..
- Bye !
164
00:17:21,004 --> 00:17:24,134
Hi there...
165
00:17:28,301 --> 00:17:31,602
Serafino... it's me, Fiamma !
166
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:34,441
I was counting the minutes !
167
00:17:34,516 --> 00:17:36,759
- Calm down !
- What's happend ?
168
00:17:36,827 --> 00:17:39,462
The saddest thing in the world...
my husband's back !
169
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:42,450
I knew it !
I'll wait for you here...
170
00:17:42,458 --> 00:17:45,436
What next ?!
171
00:17:56,385 --> 00:18:00,253
- Done already ?
- Washed, wrung and dried .
172
00:18:00,341 --> 00:18:04,142
- And your massage ?
- Right now, my darling !
173
00:18:04,145 --> 00:18:08,348
You're so firey !
Your appetite scares me...
174
00:18:08,355 --> 00:18:14,145
Appetite ? This is hunger!
Six months of abstinence...
175
00:18:14,217 --> 00:18:18,096
- I didn't even get a goat !
- I was the same for me.
176
00:18:18,168 --> 00:18:21,559
Your return is a dream, my love !
177
00:18:21,603 --> 00:18:24,954
Your dream will come true !
178
00:18:25,334 --> 00:18:29,870
- Ow! Is that iron down there ?
- Forgive me, darling...
179
00:18:30,005 --> 00:18:35,841
- ... you hit the chastity belt.
- Oh , of course !
180
00:18:35,919 --> 00:18:39,718
Get the key , and you'll be fine...
181
00:18:39,777 --> 00:18:44,362
- I want to be free of this prison...
- I'll get it immediately !
182
00:18:45,194 --> 00:18:48,922
Missed you that time...
183
00:18:51,288 --> 00:18:54,013
Here it is !
184
00:18:55,037 --> 00:18:58,744
Where's it gone ?!
The key...
185
00:18:58,795 --> 00:19:04,011
Where's the key ?
Where are yoy key ?
186
00:19:04,037 --> 00:19:07,318
The key's gone !
187
00:19:07,503 --> 00:19:11,092
We could use the sledgehammer !
188
00:19:12,266 --> 00:19:15,695
No, my love,what are you doing ?!
189
00:19:15,703 --> 00:19:18,987
What am I doing ?
I'm going to crack your iron panties!
190
00:19:19,021 --> 00:19:23,283
Yes, but the tresure inside
might suffer !
191
00:19:23,343 --> 00:19:26,693
And, actually...
192
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:31,096
... I have something important
to tell you, come...
193
00:19:32,470 --> 00:19:35,011
Let's hear it...
194
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:38,599
You have the time to talk with
master Deodato, the blacksmith...
195
00:19:38,691 --> 00:19:43,154
When you left the war,
I made a vow to Saint Fertility...
196
00:19:43,175 --> 00:19:46,663
If you returned safe and sound...
197
00:19:46,681 --> 00:19:51,138
...we wouldn't make love
an this bed two weeks.
198
00:19:51,201 --> 00:19:54,830
- Then let's use another bed !
- Yes, Olimpio...
199
00:19:54,910 --> 00:20:00,611
But what are two weeks,
compared with a lifetime ?
200
00:20:02,698 --> 00:20:07,421
Saint Fertility, huh? Must be one
that can't mind his own business !
201
00:20:07,509 --> 00:20:09,773
And, what's more...
202
00:20:09,862 --> 00:20:14,568
... if in two weeks we have a son,
he'll be born with red hair...
203
00:20:14,639 --> 00:20:19,088
- Why ?
- Because I'm getting rusty!
204
00:20:19,660 --> 00:20:24,270
In two weeks your love
will be at the peack of strength...
205
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:28,465
... for your stisfaction
and mine...
206
00:20:28,554 --> 00:20:31,051
Yes...
207
00:20:33,261 --> 00:20:37,634
Can't we just have a quickie ?
208
00:20:41,196 --> 00:20:46,986
Sometimes when I'm tired
I get sleepy , how come ?
209
00:20:48,635 --> 00:20:52,299
It must be a physical defect !
210
00:21:19,828 --> 00:21:22,714
Fertility !
211
00:21:22,930 --> 00:21:28,476
Fertility... come here,
I've something to tell you !
212
00:21:28,967 --> 00:21:31,905
Are you there ?
213
00:21:32,155 --> 00:21:34,997
Fuck off then !
214
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:53,995
What way of eating is that ?
215
00:21:54,096 --> 00:21:57,479
Ok...I'll change !
216
00:22:01,082 --> 00:22:03,839
- Do you like it ?
- What is it ?
217
00:22:03,860 --> 00:22:06,981
Toad soup...
218
00:22:08,990 --> 00:22:13,010
You might have killed first !
219
00:22:14,825 --> 00:22:17,840
I'll stuff a lemon in her mouth
and put her in oven !
220
00:22:17,863 --> 00:22:21,975
- Please, she saw me born...
- And now she wants to see me die ?
221
00:22:22,024 --> 00:22:25,762
Let's change the subject honey...
Now the war is over...
222
00:22:25,790 --> 00:22:28,669
... you must make peace
with our neighbor.
223
00:22:28,747 --> 00:22:32,065
You mean the miller, Oderisi ?
He's too bitter...
224
00:22:32,137 --> 00:22:36,488
Try yo understand, the stream
that run throught our properties...
225
00:22:36,519 --> 00:22:41,074
...servs both of us, he for his mill,
and us for our fields...
226
00:22:41,165 --> 00:22:45,407
It's time the dispute
was resolved peacefully...
227
00:22:45,445 --> 00:22:47,759
He's too bitter...
228
00:22:47,797 --> 00:22:51,072
It was so hard for me
when you went off war...
229
00:22:51,114 --> 00:22:55,416
Take the notary's counsel,
he's a valiant man of law...
230
00:22:55,444 --> 00:22:59,312
- ... let him do it !
- As for doing it...
231
00:22:59,368 --> 00:23:03,257
Something needs doing here !
I'm going crazy...
232
00:23:03,259 --> 00:23:07,023
No, I beg you, don't tempt me...
I vowed to Saint Fertility...
233
00:23:07,074 --> 00:23:11,226
I dreamt of him last night...
he said, "Your wifels vow...
234
00:23:11,235 --> 00:23:15,177
... got lost. I'm busy
and can't find it..."
235
00:23:15,204 --> 00:23:17,979
So,it's no longer valid!
236
00:23:18,074 --> 00:23:23,459
Please, resolve
things with Oderisi.
237
00:23:23,492 --> 00:23:25,623
He's too bitter .
238
00:23:25,705 --> 00:23:29,520
But no... after being widowed,
he married Lady Ubalda...
239
00:23:29,591 --> 00:23:35,656
She's a sainted woman who, I'm sure,
has been able to change him...
240
00:23:43,437 --> 00:23:47,046
She called her father !
241
00:23:51,504 --> 00:23:54,781
I learned lots
of langueges in war !
242
00:24:46,654 --> 00:24:48,785
Ubalda !
243
00:24:48,875 --> 00:24:51,590
- Your husband !
- Right, at such a beautiful moment...
244
00:24:51,627 --> 00:24:54,120
...who else could it be ?
245
00:24:54,219 --> 00:24:58,570
- Hubbie, what do you want ?
- Open,the doctor's here !
246
00:24:58,613 --> 00:25:02,139
One moment, I'm here
with my hairdresser..
247
00:25:02,197 --> 00:25:05,306
I'm almost naked,
let me dress .
248
00:25:05,358 --> 00:25:07,943
I know how jealous you are !
249
00:25:08,010 --> 00:25:11,428
Who cares if you're naked.
I'm your husband !
250
00:25:11,431 --> 00:25:14,426
The doctor doesn't
notice this things !
251
00:25:14,514 --> 00:25:17,796
You're right, but
I don't want him to see me naked...
252
00:25:17,799 --> 00:25:22,529
You know how shy I am !
253
00:25:22,578 --> 00:25:27,731
True, but this doctor
could be your grandfather.
254
00:25:27,779 --> 00:25:30,011
Come on,open...
255
00:25:30,079 --> 00:25:35,415
Right, now you'll see that I'm
almost naked and get jealous...
256
00:25:36,109 --> 00:25:39,398
No wise man could be
jealous of this doctor.
257
00:25:39,485 --> 00:25:42,307
Please, come in...
258
00:25:42,414 --> 00:25:45,674
- Here is my sweet consort.
- Your servant,my lady.
259
00:25:45,753 --> 00:25:48,767
Your welcome, master...
260
00:25:48,810 --> 00:25:51,694
I've never seen this
hairdresser... is she new ?
261
00:25:51,713 --> 00:25:56,484
Yes... she was recommended to me,
she's very shy,but also very good...
262
00:25:56,485 --> 00:26:00,793
- ...unrivalled in her profession.
- Too kind, my lady .
263
00:26:00,886 --> 00:26:04,783
Well done, but now go,
the master must concentrate .
264
00:26:04,797 --> 00:26:08,263
- I'll be back later...
- So, what's wrong with the lady ?
265
00:26:08,318 --> 00:26:11,879
- She never wants to make love!
- Please, I'll explain...
266
00:26:11,941 --> 00:26:17,796
- Master,it's a delicate issue...
- Feel free to tell me .
267
00:26:17,826 --> 00:26:22,834
Master, my husband
is unable to fornicate with me .
268
00:26:22,933 --> 00:26:28,651
Unable? Let me see those balls.
They dont look sick, a little puffy.
269
00:26:28,714 --> 00:26:31,303
I want to, I try !
270
00:26:31,361 --> 00:26:36,465
Traing isn't enough !
Every time we're in bed...
271
00:26:36,486 --> 00:26:42,742
I start to swon . I feel
a great fire than I faint.
272
00:26:42,836 --> 00:26:45,414
- Do you think it's serious ?
- I'd say so...
273
00:26:45,429 --> 00:26:49,469
..a female like her is made for love.
Strip so I can take a look...
274
00:26:49,512 --> 00:26:52,029
- Naked ?
- Yes, naked.
275
00:26:52,343 --> 00:26:57,191
- Does she really have to be naked?
- Of course !
276
00:26:59,363 --> 00:27:05,330
Now, breath deeply while
I put my ear your breast .
277
00:27:05,417 --> 00:27:09,593
- Oh, how wonderful !
- Stop ! I'll do the ear bit .
278
00:27:09,668 --> 00:27:12,916
I'll lean, listen and report .
279
00:27:16,316 --> 00:27:19,228
Is that your breathing ?
280
00:27:19,251 --> 00:27:23,552
No, him . He always does that,
but besides sighing that's it .
281
00:27:23,554 --> 00:27:29,454
This is no good . Jelous husbands
are yhe ruin of medical science !
282
00:27:29,512 --> 00:27:32,889
- Of cuckolds, if anything !
- A shame on you !
283
00:27:32,970 --> 00:27:38,440
Are you more worried about
your wife's health or your own ego ?
284
00:27:39,892 --> 00:27:44,615
What do you say, Lady Ubalda?
Will you do as the doctor says?
285
00:27:44,953 --> 00:27:49,654
Yes, dear husband, let's humor him .
286
00:27:49,731 --> 00:27:53,411
Come, Cerusico, ear to boob !
287
00:27:53,651 --> 00:27:57,349
I'll put my hand here,
to get confortable .
288
00:27:57,465 --> 00:28:02,073
What a strong heart
this woman has.
289
00:28:02,188 --> 00:28:04,971
- Get other here !
- Are you joking ?
290
00:28:04,982 --> 00:28:08,305
No, doctors don't joke,
not even at Carnaval !
291
00:28:08,386 --> 00:28:12,621
I order you to leave becouse
your presence is a hindrance.
292
00:28:12,889 --> 00:28:18,879
- She does't want to be alone with you !
- Let's ask her . You decide .
293
00:28:18,902 --> 00:28:21,385
...him or me !
294
00:28:21,396 --> 00:28:26,175
Dear husband, try to understand,
leave alone with the master,
295
00:28:26,587 --> 00:28:31,586
I've overcome my shyness,
and I know I can trust him .
296
00:28:31,599 --> 00:28:36,393
Allright, I'll be outside the door.
But hurry, I'll give you 10 minutes.
297
00:28:36,435 --> 00:28:39,586
10 minutes is enought for me !
298
00:28:47,484 --> 00:28:52,204
- What are you doing ?
- Underssing, he gave us only 10 minutes.
299
00:28:52,429 --> 00:28:55,571
But grandpa, one month
won't be enough for you.
300
00:28:55,646 --> 00:28:58,463
Your wife is right, Master Olimpio...
301
00:28:58,517 --> 00:29:01,795
... disputes are costly,
and justice takes time .
302
00:29:01,869 --> 00:29:05,298
You should reach an agreement .
A feew well-pleced words .
303
00:29:05,407 --> 00:29:09,977
All this used to be my father's...
he sure was a happy man !
304
00:29:10,046 --> 00:29:12,917
- To think, he hung himself .
- Out of sorry ?
305
00:29:13,088 --> 00:29:17,406
No, by the neck !
That's it should hang Odersi !
306
00:29:17,497 --> 00:29:23,194
Olimpio, be prudent. It seems to me
your blood is boling !
307
00:29:23,380 --> 00:29:27,849
Can you tell? My wife has left
my whistle dry for a week .
308
00:29:27,894 --> 00:29:31,662
My son, as if this
was your only problem !
309
00:29:31,761 --> 00:29:34,869
If you need a good time,
couple with your servant...
310
00:29:35,755 --> 00:29:41,058
- The one in my house ?
- Does that trouble your consecience ?
311
00:29:41,820 --> 00:29:45,520
No... it turns my stomach !
312
00:29:45,631 --> 00:29:51,350
Then try having a good time
with the boys...
313
00:29:51,956 --> 00:29:54,612
Notary !
314
00:29:54,726 --> 00:29:58,009
Well... you might be surprised !
315
00:29:58,025 --> 00:30:02,575
I have a wonderful time
with my boys...
316
00:30:03,589 --> 00:30:06,438
You mean you...
317
00:30:08,313 --> 00:30:10,900
Who'd have thought !
318
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:15,252
Why do you keep stopping ?
You have a bad vice.
319
00:30:17,468 --> 00:30:20,896
Look who's talking !
320
00:30:29,364 --> 00:30:32,220
Welcome !
321
00:30:36,183 --> 00:30:38,691
Is the master Oderisi's wife ?
322
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:42,651
Yes, he landed a beauty !
You're not envious, are you ?
323
00:30:42,733 --> 00:30:46,497
Not in the least...
324
00:30:48,315 --> 00:30:53,694
Relax, Olimpio...
Has she really smitten you ?
325
00:30:54,698 --> 00:30:59,840
I can already see her with
nothing on... except me, of course !
326
00:31:01,318 --> 00:31:06,963
My Lady, it's not I who speak,
but my soul...
327
00:31:08,463 --> 00:31:11,461
By wthat name is this beauty called ?
328
00:31:11,516 --> 00:31:15,774
- My name is Ubalda .
- And the ather one ?
329
00:31:15,857 --> 00:31:19,992
My name is Lady Ubalda .
What can I do for you ?
330
00:31:22,331 --> 00:31:25,332
Who knows, I like the lot !
331
00:31:25,415 --> 00:31:28,824
We're here to discuss
boundaries, my lady...
332
00:31:28,830 --> 00:31:32,126
- Where is your husband ?
- Here, notary .
333
00:31:32,162 --> 00:31:35,041
Ah, you're here too...
334
00:31:35,165 --> 00:31:39,290
Have you come to waste my time ?
Damned soldier !
335
00:31:39,375 --> 00:31:42,180
You're back without booty !
336
00:31:42,641 --> 00:31:47,042
Pusillanimous, tongue-wagging,
armless incompetent !
337
00:31:47,130 --> 00:31:49,441
Too bitter !
338
00:31:49,455 --> 00:31:51,942
Good day, master Oderisi !
339
00:31:52,071 --> 00:31:57,197
It's not a good day,
with this filth in my house ...
340
00:31:58,369 --> 00:32:03,741
The parties being present before me,
notary Adone Bellezza...
341
00:32:05,357 --> 00:32:08,454
My lady, leave us .
342
00:32:12,396 --> 00:32:16,524
Let's try to resolve this dispute
with civility and respect...
343
00:32:16,668 --> 00:32:21,244
- I won't talk with that man.
- Very well, I'll talk...
344
00:32:22,956 --> 00:32:25,085
Therefore...
345
00:32:25,155 --> 00:32:28,792
The border between the lands
of Master Olimpio...
346
00:32:28,833 --> 00:32:32,481
and those of
Master Oderisi, the miller...
347
00:32:32,530 --> 00:32:37,734
...is in dispute over the stream
named "Aqua Viva"....
348
00:32:37,823 --> 00:32:41,477
...which both parties mantain
is their property.
349
00:32:41,497 --> 00:32:44,660
Ask him what he's
looking at over there...
350
00:32:44,698 --> 00:32:49,497
Master Oderisi asks what
you are looking at over there...
351
00:32:49,510 --> 00:32:53,067
- Buttoks...
- Huh ?
352
00:32:53,632 --> 00:32:57,646
The above-mentioned stream
which runs along the border...
353
00:32:58,106 --> 00:33:02,859
- ...between the lands of...
- Excuse me a moment...
354
00:33:07,271 --> 00:33:10,263
Did I catch a connection ?
355
00:33:18,763 --> 00:33:21,063
Enough, ok !
356
00:33:21,231 --> 00:33:24,348
Give it a break !
357
00:33:28,261 --> 00:33:32,821
What's that, the "soldier's slap"?!
358
00:33:35,700 --> 00:33:39,150
Why do you keep hitting the same spot ?
359
00:33:44,651 --> 00:33:48,054
Master Oderisi,
are you feeling ok ?
360
00:33:48,084 --> 00:33:51,197
You look a little pale !
361
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:55,861
I'll give you the change later !
362
00:33:56,174 --> 00:33:59,611
"...free of malice and cowardice...
363
00:33:59,703 --> 00:34:02,314
...all this in honor
of common sense...
364
00:34:02,356 --> 00:34:06,685
...rendering noble and content
men of goodwill,"
365
00:37:40,110 --> 00:37:44,285
Where are you going ?
Come here .
366
00:37:45,506 --> 00:37:48,484
Closer...
367
00:37:49,486 --> 00:37:52,724
Let me feel...
368
00:37:53,194 --> 00:37:55,834
Let me...aaaah !
369
00:37:55,911 --> 00:37:58,250
What happened ?!
Is a trap ?
370
00:37:59,941 --> 00:38:02,422
A mousetrap?!
371
00:38:02,460 --> 00:38:06,544
To keep you away
from temptation, my husband...
372
00:38:06,577 --> 00:38:10,608
You could at least
add a little cheese !
373
00:38:11,767 --> 00:38:14,932
Again ?
Has that friar come back ?
374
00:39:21,613 --> 00:39:25,571
Enought! At this I'll have
the washing hung by sunset!
375
00:39:25,631 --> 00:39:27,484
But I'm helping you.
376
00:39:27,516 --> 00:39:30,313
Nu, you're making things harder.
You're jealous !
377
00:39:30,390 --> 00:39:33,211
It's your fault... hanging
clothes in front of the workers!
378
00:39:33,311 --> 00:39:37,983
It's the sun's fault!
Do you want it to dry at night?
379
00:39:38,457 --> 00:39:44,418
Damn them, hugging those sacks
thinking of your things!
380
00:39:44,531 --> 00:39:48,335
Husband, what irreverent language !
381
00:39:48,411 --> 00:39:53,122
If you're that jealous,
order them to stop working...
382
00:39:53,202 --> 00:39:55,383
until I've gone inside .
383
00:39:55,425 --> 00:39:58,289
I would, but this work is urgent.
384
00:39:58,334 --> 00:40:03,790
Instead I order you to go inside
and not come out till they're done!
385
00:40:03,869 --> 00:40:06,470
Go on, hurry !
386
00:40:06,474 --> 00:40:09,879
And you, get working!
Work, you bums!
387
00:40:09,963 --> 00:40:14,310
And stop hugging those sacks!
388
00:40:22,730 --> 00:40:25,754
Hey, come and look!
389
00:40:26,519 --> 00:40:29,177
Who is it ?
390
00:40:29,428 --> 00:40:32,389
Look at him !
391
00:40:32,467 --> 00:40:36,501
Next time you go out,
wear appropriate clothes.
392
00:40:36,992 --> 00:40:41,035
- Armor, for example?
- Not a bad idea .
393
00:40:42,822 --> 00:40:48,438
Stop being so jelous...
Your wife loves and respects you.
394
00:40:48,443 --> 00:40:52,737
I'll prove you it with the clothes
I wear to go out.
395
00:40:52,770 --> 00:40:57,642
- Why, where are you going?
- To town, it's market day.
396
00:40:57,647 --> 00:41:00,292
Nu, not the market!
397
00:41:00,328 --> 00:41:02,655
That loafer Olimpio
is always out...
398
00:41:02,682 --> 00:41:06,453
... now that his wife won't entertain him
in bed, everyone's talking about it!
399
00:41:06,522 --> 00:41:09,874
Now you're ridiculous!
I can't bear being stuck inside!
400
00:41:09,947 --> 00:41:13,925
Tou should thank me,
your virtue is safe here!
401
00:41:13,942 --> 00:41:16,513
What are you doing?
Aren't you tired of looking?
402
00:41:16,607 --> 00:41:18,638
No, boss...
403
00:41:18,651 --> 00:41:22,683
That is, yes... a certain Cantarano
da Nola is here to see you...
404
00:41:22,695 --> 00:41:25,943
- Who's he ?
- A great master painter...
405
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:33,673
All eys on me !
406
00:41:34,435 --> 00:41:37,253
I'll scratch anyone who moves...
407
00:41:39,685 --> 00:41:44,774
Miraculous angel,
perfection of perfection...
408
00:41:44,798 --> 00:41:49,694
- Fabulous !
- Wizard, have you done ?
409
00:41:50,478 --> 00:41:54,221
I need to know
what Venus is this ?
410
00:41:54,437 --> 00:41:58,486
What Juno,
what Minerva ?
411
00:41:58,548 --> 00:42:01,926
What son of a bich
sewed this outfit ?!
412
00:42:01,970 --> 00:42:05,158
While I need to know
who sent you here...
413
00:42:05,472 --> 00:42:09,017
It is fate who sends me...
414
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:11,521
I have circled the globe...
415
00:42:11,549 --> 00:42:15,888
...known kings and qeens
so rich they are bored...
416
00:42:15,967 --> 00:42:19,805
...like that German prince
Von Fuck !
417
00:42:19,928 --> 00:42:25,440
What rights do you have
over this celestial creature ?
418
00:42:25,487 --> 00:42:29,568
What rights ?
She's my wife !
419
00:42:30,825 --> 00:42:35,804
What a fool not to realize
you are the husband !
420
00:42:35,903 --> 00:42:40,943
The forehead of a poet, eyes
of a thinker of an emperor...
421
00:42:40,979 --> 00:42:47,636
... chest of a warrior,
a knight's hands, strong and kind...
422
00:42:48,201 --> 00:42:52,718
Becouse I love nature,
I love to live outdoors...
423
00:42:52,763 --> 00:42:56,279
- ...drink toasts, play cards...
- Whist ?
424
00:42:56,374 --> 00:42:59,137
Uh... no, pederast .
425
00:42:59,833 --> 00:43:06,610
I'm here by order of your lord.
... Duke Guazzone da Vellentri.
426
00:43:06,967 --> 00:43:13,052
He said, "Go, paint
Lady Ubalda, whose beauty...
427
00:43:13,924 --> 00:43:17,215
... is fabulous!"
428
00:43:18,130 --> 00:43:22,638
But the duke didn't tell me about you,
so cute and good-looking...
429
00:43:23,013 --> 00:43:26,834
Si, sir, it is with you
that I shall retire...
430
00:43:26,912 --> 00:43:30,331
... to paint you naked !
431
00:43:30,446 --> 00:43:32,870
Have you gone crazy ?
432
00:43:32,905 --> 00:43:38,264
- Do you dare disobey the duke ?
- No, but he told you to paint Ubalda!
433
00:43:38,322 --> 00:43:40,157
True...
434
00:43:40,203 --> 00:43:42,810
- Do you dare disobey the duke?
- Never...
435
00:43:42,815 --> 00:43:45,753
- Then have yourself painted...
- No.
436
00:43:46,151 --> 00:43:48,876
- No ?
- No ?
437
00:43:49,360 --> 00:43:54,260
No. No man other than my husband
may see me naked!
438
00:43:54,335 --> 00:43:57,256
Man ?
439
00:43:58,374 --> 00:44:01,386
As you wish, husband...
440
00:44:01,682 --> 00:44:04,284
- The key...
- The key ?
441
00:44:04,359 --> 00:44:08,339
- If I have to be naked...
- She's not naked with the chastity belt!
442
00:44:08,867 --> 00:44:12,557
Ok... here you are.
443
00:44:12,926 --> 00:44:15,468
Bye, sweetie...
444
00:44:33,580 --> 00:44:39,509
Hey, come and look! The painter's
taking her up to strip naked!
445
00:44:40,327 --> 00:44:42,728
Come in...
446
00:44:49,663 --> 00:44:52,263
Will you be comfortable here ?
447
00:44:52,359 --> 00:44:54,663
On the floor ?
448
00:44:55,174 --> 00:44:57,870
Very comfortable!
449
00:44:57,937 --> 00:45:00,905
- Whenever you wish, master...
- Not yet.
450
00:45:01,191 --> 00:45:04,352
I can feel paralysis setting in!
451
00:45:04,388 --> 00:45:06,841
Oh, mother...
452
00:45:07,518 --> 00:45:10,411
Guard her well...
453
00:45:10,904 --> 00:45:14,133
I'll get my things...
454
00:45:15,974 --> 00:45:20,595
My lady, what are you waiting for ?
Don't upset the painter...
455
00:45:58,687 --> 00:46:02,222
- What are you doing, master?
- I've locked it.
456
00:46:02,230 --> 00:46:05,915
Why?
I'm on guard out here!
457
00:46:06,188 --> 00:46:09,142
- No one must enter, not even you.
- Why ?
458
00:46:09,169 --> 00:46:12,916
So you don't break my... inspiration.
459
00:46:17,734 --> 00:46:21,077
- Who's that ?
- Who? It's me!
460
00:46:47,158 --> 00:46:51,841
Let me through,
I got the ladder and I'll climb it!
461
00:47:27,419 --> 00:47:31,732
You care me,
why are you looking at me like that?
462
00:47:33,738 --> 00:47:38,220
A painter has eyes
like of a doctor...
463
00:47:39,725 --> 00:47:42,785
...crazed...
464
00:47:48,219 --> 00:47:51,293
Let me up, let me up!
465
00:47:55,354 --> 00:47:58,180
Let me up!
466
00:48:02,067 --> 00:48:04,618
Go on, let me up!
467
00:48:07,134 --> 00:48:10,097
Come on, out of the way!
468
00:48:10,152 --> 00:48:12,265
Let me look to!
469
00:48:12,288 --> 00:48:14,419
It's my turn!
470
00:48:15,364 --> 00:48:18,926
Master, why can't I hear
your voice any more?
471
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:22,079
Odd, I talk constantiy!
472
00:48:22,143 --> 00:48:25,649
Sorry, but I hear nothing...
maybe I'm going deaf.
473
00:48:49,314 --> 00:48:53,808
Master... is inspiration
coming or not coming?
474
00:48:54,449 --> 00:48:57,044
Nearly...
475
00:49:00,091 --> 00:49:03,172
Hold still, don't push!
476
00:49:09,917 --> 00:49:14,458
- What are you waiting for?
- Give me time, I'm confused...
477
00:49:14,686 --> 00:49:17,449
... with all this acting gay...
478
00:49:29,802 --> 00:49:32,684
- I'm a real macho, uh?
- The key...
479
00:49:32,715 --> 00:49:35,438
Right... the key!
480
00:49:39,973 --> 00:49:43,070
Ok,I'm opening it!
481
00:49:43,323 --> 00:49:47,307
I told you to go away!
482
00:49:49,941 --> 00:49:53,661
Courage, master...
483
00:49:54,581 --> 00:49:58,939
I'm scared I'll break it!
I mean, 'tear the canvas'...
484
00:49:59,727 --> 00:50:03,092
The painting canvas, of course!
485
00:50:07,140 --> 00:50:10,169
- Careful!
- Careful, we'll fall!
486
00:50:12,871 --> 00:50:15,694
What happend?
487
00:50:17,075 --> 00:50:19,865
But... what happened?
488
00:50:24,278 --> 00:50:28,549
You dirty peeping toms!
489
00:50:29,274 --> 00:50:32,096
Take this!
490
00:50:32,155 --> 00:50:36,345
- What's going on?
- They were spying on my wife naked!
491
00:50:36,373 --> 00:50:40,793
Oh... beat them, without mercy!
492
00:50:41,150 --> 00:50:43,671
I will, and some!
493
00:50:46,212 --> 00:50:50,253
Olimpio De' Pannocchieschi?!
I'm gonna kill you!
494
00:50:50,554 --> 00:50:53,939
I'll disembowel you,
tear your heart out!
495
00:50:54,014 --> 00:50:59,634
I'll feed you to de pigs!
You filthy brute!
496
00:51:01,189 --> 00:51:03,541
He's coming!
497
00:51:04,930 --> 00:51:08,460
He's very angry... lord knows why!
498
00:51:09,346 --> 00:51:12,880
Open, you dirty worm!
499
00:51:12,915 --> 00:51:18,156
Open or I'll kill you!
You too, lady, open up!
500
00:51:19,221 --> 00:51:21,372
Help!
501
00:51:21,388 --> 00:51:26,366
Help me, husband!
The painter has pulled out his "brush"!
502
00:51:26,420 --> 00:51:29,612
He's trying to rape me!
503
00:51:29,694 --> 00:51:34,419
Don't open!
He'll break both our butts!
504
00:51:36,625 --> 00:51:39,790
How did you guys get down?
505
00:51:49,156 --> 00:51:54,173
- I'm out of here!
- Go, go... my dog will catch you!
506
00:52:17,962 --> 00:52:20,415
Sorry...
507
00:52:56,491 --> 00:53:00,268
Quick, take me to him!
508
00:53:22,181 --> 00:53:25,716
An ambush, another thief!
509
00:53:27,128 --> 00:53:30,037
Hush!
510
00:53:39,402 --> 00:53:44,534
Do you always take the same road?
Don't you ever pass for "fuck off"?
511
00:53:48,151 --> 00:53:51,291
Where have you taken me?
512
00:53:57,751 --> 00:54:01,196
Here I am, father!
Did you call me?
513
00:54:02,433 --> 00:54:05,530
Are you a fag too?
514
00:54:06,057 --> 00:54:09,899
Sorry. Your boss
hasn't gone, has he?
515
00:54:09,940 --> 00:54:13,261
He was giving me advice,
but I fell asleep...
516
00:54:13,293 --> 00:54:16,197
...after all those knocks!
517
00:54:16,235 --> 00:54:21,494
There he is! Look at that feast...
grapes, chicken, bread...
518
00:54:21,519 --> 00:54:24,804
When he's not hitting, he's eating!
519
00:54:29,122 --> 00:54:32,417
May I, father?
What's the food like?
520
00:54:32,469 --> 00:54:35,615
- Like your own home...
- Then I'm leaving!
521
00:54:35,655 --> 00:54:40,242
What a fuss! You must accept
all that heaven sends...
522
00:54:40,257 --> 00:54:44,281
... as I accept
this morsel of penitence.
523
00:54:45,423 --> 00:54:48,689
By the way,
are you at peace with God?
524
00:54:48,740 --> 00:54:51,987
Yes, we say hi,
but we don't really talk...
525
00:54:58,327 --> 00:55:01,018
- Do you serve chickens?
- We serve anyone...
526
00:55:01,111 --> 00:55:03,858
She recognized me on sihgt!
527
00:55:05,464 --> 00:55:10,823
- What's your name, my child?
- My name is Candy, but call me Handy...
528
00:55:11,384 --> 00:55:15,693
- Where's your father?
- I'm orphan.
529
00:55:15,897 --> 00:55:19,021
- Brothers?
- None...
530
00:55:19,558 --> 00:55:24,565
- Don't tell me you don't have a fiance!
- I don't...
531
00:55:24,575 --> 00:55:29,140
- I live sad and alone...
- Don't worry, my child...
532
00:55:29,187 --> 00:55:34,208
... one's never alone in life,
if you want...
533
00:55:45,458 --> 00:55:49,172
I forgot... I'm a poor friar,
so you pay the bill.
534
00:55:49,249 --> 00:55:52,587
- Don't you have any money?
- I've have renounced all...
535
00:55:52,591 --> 00:55:55,298
You sure haven't
renounced eating!
536
00:55:55,753 --> 00:56:00,581
That advice I asked for,
you still haven't given it...
537
00:56:00,630 --> 00:56:04,615
Right, but tell me...
538
00:56:04,627 --> 00:56:07,579
... who is this female
driving you so crazy?
539
00:56:07,678 --> 00:56:12,398
Lady Ubalda, the wife of master
Oderisi, the miller. Do you know him?
540
00:56:12,488 --> 00:56:14,866
For sure!
541
00:56:14,949 --> 00:56:20,344
That skunk sold me
two sacks of flour full of worms!
542
00:56:20,413 --> 00:56:23,692
He wants to steal
the water from my fields!
543
00:56:23,701 --> 00:56:26,134
- Can't we fuck him?
- What ?
544
00:56:26,156 --> 00:56:29,725
I mean, how can I get
to cuckold him?
545
00:56:31,521 --> 00:56:36,653
With great cunning...
you must play the "painter ploy".
546
00:56:36,729 --> 00:56:41,093
Again? I told you
how well that went already!
547
00:56:41,104 --> 00:56:45,880
Hush, let me speak...
I mean a real painter.
548
00:56:45,942 --> 00:56:49,115
Do you know the famous master,
Caterano da Nola?
549
00:56:49,182 --> 00:56:53,839
Yes, Duke Guazzone's painter!
That's who I played...
550
00:56:53,914 --> 00:56:56,984
- Then you understand everything...
- Sure...
551
00:56:57,056 --> 00:57:01,223
I've understood nothing!
I'm inteligent, but not very...
552
00:57:01,277 --> 00:57:04,240
And with all these knocks...
553
00:57:04,270 --> 00:57:08,558
... it feels as if two bats
are arguing in my head.
554
00:57:08,601 --> 00:57:14,081
Go rest, then.
I'm going to console that poor girl...
555
00:57:14,165 --> 00:57:18,499
- We'll talk more later.
- Yes, later...
556
00:57:19,102 --> 00:57:22,139
...after she got Handy on you!
557
00:57:30,515 --> 00:57:33,373
This is a sin, my child...
558
00:57:33,449 --> 00:57:36,750
... I explained it
so you can avoid it...
559
00:57:36,798 --> 00:57:39,605
- Have I been clear?
- No...
560
00:57:39,633 --> 00:57:41,602
No?
561
00:57:41,673 --> 00:57:45,774
But I eplained it twice!
562
00:57:46,779 --> 00:57:52,172
You live in the country,
but you're hard-headed!
563
00:57:53,714 --> 00:57:56,592
Maybe I didn't
explain myself properly?
564
00:57:56,650 --> 00:58:02,176
No, you explained very well,
but I'd like to know more...
565
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:07,412
More? Alright.
I'll explain one last time...
566
00:58:08,467 --> 00:58:11,340
... but is the last !
567
00:58:13,306 --> 00:58:16,523
- Friar's hideout!
- What do you want?
568
00:58:16,553 --> 00:58:19,138
Can I have a ride too?
569
00:58:19,143 --> 00:58:22,209
Haw you dare? Can't you see
I'm doing a panance?
570
00:58:22,245 --> 00:58:25,267
I just wanted the advice
I asked for...
571
00:58:25,296 --> 00:58:27,798
If not, I'm not moving...
572
00:58:27,834 --> 00:58:30,324
You won't leave?
573
00:58:32,445 --> 00:58:35,358
- Will you listen, my son?
- Yes, sure!
574
00:58:35,469 --> 00:58:39,567
But hurry, or your penance
will get cold...
575
00:58:40,432 --> 00:58:44,588
You must stop the painter
at the Castagnaccio Pass...
576
00:58:44,654 --> 00:58:49,308
With confidence, you tell him,
"I come in the name of Duke Guazzone!"
577
00:58:49,446 --> 00:58:55,474
When you say "Guazzone" It must be
like lightning from a clear sky!
578
00:58:55,483 --> 00:59:00,793
"He orders you to go
to the mill of master Oderisi...
579
00:59:00,865 --> 00:59:03,666
... to take the beautiful
Lady Ubalda."
580
00:59:03,686 --> 00:59:08,418
Once taken, you must conduct her
to the duke's castle.
581
00:59:08,592 --> 00:59:11,598
She must be the model
for the great fresco...
582
00:59:11,676 --> 00:59:15,559
... that will adorn the walls
of the banquet hall.
583
00:59:15,642 --> 00:59:19,184
Master Deodato,
does this chastity belt work?
584
00:59:19,280 --> 00:59:24,469
It's my masterpiece. None but I
can open it without a key!
585
00:59:24,532 --> 00:59:28,548
- Is it good against painters?
- Good against all artist...
586
00:59:29,635 --> 00:59:31,728
- Boss.
- What is it?
587
00:59:31,814 --> 00:59:34,842
- The master painter is back.
- Again?
588
00:59:36,390 --> 00:59:38,994
Step aside, peasant!
589
00:59:39,012 --> 00:59:44,334
I am Caterano da Nola, famous
painter and great talent...
590
00:59:44,497 --> 00:59:47,955
By order of
Duke Guazzone da Viterbo...
591
00:59:47,987 --> 00:59:52,039
... I have come to take
your wife, miller.
592
00:59:52,123 --> 00:59:55,586
Why, master?
593
00:59:55,477 --> 01:00:00,191
To take her to the castle,
where I can paint her at ease...
594
01:00:00,238 --> 01:00:04,042
I'll paint you, you son of the beach!
595
01:00:04,182 --> 01:00:11,165
- Now I'll fix you!
- Calm down,stop! Halp!
596
01:00:11,306 --> 01:00:16,513
Quick, stop him, or Duke Guazzone
will have his head off!
597
01:00:17,930 --> 01:00:23,042
Quick, or the duke's rege
will fall on us!
598
01:00:27,918 --> 01:00:30,749
- Oh, mother!
- Stop, stop...
599
01:00:35,476 --> 01:00:40,614
Master Oderisi, what have you done?!
The duke's rage will be great!
600
01:00:40,792 --> 01:00:45,277
- It is he who sent the painter!
- What painter!
601
01:00:45,300 --> 01:00:49,614
This is Olimpio,
that fucking whoremonger!
602
01:00:51,131 --> 01:00:54,320
The duke will make you pay!
603
01:00:54,583 --> 01:00:57,557
Help! Help!
604
01:00:57,630 --> 01:01:02,371
Tell the duke I'm innocent,
I didn't mean to offend.
605
01:01:02,651 --> 01:01:04,919
Calm down, won't you!
606
01:01:05,003 --> 01:01:08,478
Can't you see he's sleeping?
You'll wake him up!
607
01:01:35,519 --> 01:01:38,166
Hey move!
608
01:01:41,524 --> 01:01:45,317
If we're late
it'll be your fault!
609
01:01:46,047 --> 01:01:51,485
I was framed, I'd never
lack respect for the duke!
610
01:01:52,483 --> 01:01:55,030
Can you prove it ?
611
01:01:57,097 --> 01:01:59,316
No? So?
612
01:01:59,358 --> 01:02:02,151
It's the truth, I'm innocent!
613
01:02:03,258 --> 01:02:06,860
This guy was innocent too...
or at least said he was.
614
01:02:06,997 --> 01:02:10,957
- Doesn't justice exist?
- Sure it exists...
615
01:02:11,030 --> 01:02:14,623
- But it takes money,
and if you have any...
616
01:02:14,640 --> 01:02:20,246
... I have a lawyer friend,
an eminent jurist...
617
01:02:20,325 --> 01:02:23,532
- Shall I call him ?
- Well, if he's eminent...
618
01:02:52,963 --> 01:02:55,808
Didn't scare you
even just a bit?
619
01:02:55,859 --> 01:02:58,842
- No...
- Then I'll try again...
620
01:03:04,420 --> 01:03:08,240
- Better this time, right?
- Just come and eat!
621
01:03:08,930 --> 01:03:11,921
I can't, I've a commitment...
622
01:03:11,973 --> 01:03:14,854
I'm escorting a procession
touring the mills to ask for flour....
623
01:03:16,002 --> 01:03:19,862
- A procession of what?
- Uh... they're lepers...
624
01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:26,034
Hey, where are you going?
625
01:03:26,050 --> 01:03:29,047
They're not bad guys!
626
01:03:30,120 --> 01:03:33,843
It's me who's the smartass!
627
01:03:34,554 --> 01:03:38,800
Lady Ubalda, what now?
628
01:03:56,278 --> 01:03:59,219
- What's that noise?
- Oh, come on...
629
01:03:59,280 --> 01:04:02,233
- No, one moment...
- You always say that!
630
01:04:02,277 --> 01:04:05,515
Can't you hear it?
Maybe the miller's back!
631
01:04:05,707 --> 01:04:09,050
My jealous husband!
632
01:04:20,643 --> 01:04:23,541
-Open up!
- Who is it?
633
01:04:23,621 --> 01:04:27,331
I'm the hard one
that heals!
634
01:04:27,331 --> 01:04:31,454
That is. I'm love personified...
Well, whatever...
635
01:04:31,642 --> 01:04:34,552
- 50 florins, sir...
- Fuck!
636
01:04:34,640 --> 01:04:37,288
- I'm sorry?
- I said, "justice is expemsive"!
637
01:04:37,358 --> 01:04:40,419
Miller, is your head
worth less?
638
01:04:40,440 --> 01:04:43,925
No, but I was adding it up...
5 to the soldier who called you...
639
01:04:44,268 --> 01:04:48,680
... 10 to you, that's 15...
who gets the other 35?
640
01:04:48,691 --> 01:04:52,270
Duke Guazzone...
who else hands out justice?
641
01:04:59,857 --> 01:05:03,340
But you are Olimpio!
You're not my husband!
642
01:05:03,374 --> 01:05:05,964
Why, is he the only one with a prick?
643
01:05:06,967 --> 01:05:09,826
It's not my husband!
644
01:05:09,896 --> 01:05:13,181
- It's not my husband!
- Have you seen me in profile?
645
01:05:13,236 --> 01:05:17,332
- You gain in the excenge!
- It's nou my husband!
646
01:05:17,354 --> 01:05:20,765
Why scream?
There's only us two here!
647
01:05:21,515 --> 01:05:24,723
It's not my husband...
648
01:05:55,689 --> 01:05:58,552
He's dead...
649
01:06:19,318 --> 01:06:22,960
Giannetto, what have we done?
I'm scared...
650
01:06:23,084 --> 01:06:27,525
Let's stay calm, Ubalda.
Olimpio was a weird guy...
651
01:06:27,591 --> 01:06:31,062
They'll think he's gone on some trip,
without telling anyone...
652
01:06:31,149 --> 01:06:34,351
Don't worry,
we're in no danger.
653
01:06:34,360 --> 01:06:37,326
- Are you sure?
- Of course...
654
01:06:37,444 --> 01:06:39,830
... and anyway, who's going
to look in a cesspit?
655
01:06:44,866 --> 01:06:47,166
Lady!
656
01:06:47,243 --> 01:06:50,118
Who's armor is this?
657
01:06:50,268 --> 01:06:54,081
Have you lain with that pig Olimpio?
658
01:06:54,951 --> 01:06:58,742
- Have wanted to...
- I know very well, damn!
659
01:06:58,975 --> 01:07:02,330
That's why I ended up
in that cage!
660
01:07:02,418 --> 01:07:06,693
- You think I gave in?
- Actually, I do.
661
01:07:08,230 --> 01:07:10,908
How you dare?!
662
01:07:10,925 --> 01:07:14,875
I'm a timorous and faithful woman....
663
01:07:15,508 --> 01:07:19,539
When Olimpio tried
to possess me...
664
01:07:20,132 --> 01:07:25,004
... I heat him with this club!
665
01:07:25,234 --> 01:07:29,148
- Like this! Like this!
- Hey, stop it!
666
01:07:29,245 --> 01:07:33,354
- Do you believe me?
- Sure I believe you!
667
01:07:34,100 --> 01:07:37,074
- And... I believe he's dead.
- Dead?!
668
01:07:37,083 --> 01:07:39,973
Saint Cerusico, virgin and martyr!
669
01:07:40,016 --> 01:07:42,372
What did you do with the body?
670
01:07:42,448 --> 01:07:45,516
I threw him where he deserves...
in the cesspit.
671
01:07:45,532 --> 01:07:47,709
The cesspit?
672
01:07:47,807 --> 01:07:50,683
Then, we have to
get rid of this srmor.
673
01:07:50,695 --> 01:07:54,378
- We should bury it...
- Yes, but not close to the house.
674
01:07:54,429 --> 01:07:58,037
Help me, I'm going to bury it
in the countryside.
675
01:07:58,110 --> 01:08:01,405
Excellent idea,
take care you're not seen...
676
01:08:13,190 --> 01:08:18,690
Olimpio De'Pannocchieschi, you
tried to trick me, but you're dead.
677
01:08:18,799 --> 01:08:23,683
When I've got rid of this armor,
no one will suspect me...
678
01:08:24,154 --> 01:08:29,600
Yes, but... why bury it?
I could use it to get revenge...
679
01:08:30,314 --> 01:08:33,514
Of course... how stupid!
680
01:08:33,560 --> 01:08:37,006
It's unique opportunity...
681
01:08:41,646 --> 01:08:46,286
Darling Uguccione, give me more...
682
01:08:49,686 --> 01:08:53,927
- Lady, did you hear anything?
- I'm not made of stone!
683
01:08:54,326 --> 01:08:57,569
I feel everything!
684
01:08:57,967 --> 01:09:01,014
I clearly heard footsteps!
685
01:09:01,728 --> 01:09:04,870
Saint Fertility,
my husband's back!
686
01:09:04,952 --> 01:09:08,614
Ouick, under the bed!
- It always ends like this!
687
01:09:09,064 --> 01:09:11,981
I'll open, husband dear.
688
01:09:12,205 --> 01:09:15,627
In your absence,
I preferred to lock myseif in...
689
01:09:19,506 --> 01:09:23,639
What happened?
Why don't you speak?
690
01:09:26,614 --> 01:09:30,907
What's wrong?
Are you angry with me?
691
01:09:34,410 --> 01:09:40,131
You did well to come back,
my penance ends at midnight...
692
01:09:40,185 --> 01:09:45,336
I see your desire
and I'm ready to please you...
693
01:09:57,484 --> 01:09:59,948
But...
694
01:10:00,116 --> 01:10:02,819
- But you're not my husband!
- No!
695
01:10:02,885 --> 01:10:06,771
- Help, it's not my husband!
- Hush!
696
01:10:06,857 --> 01:10:09,368
Shut up!
697
01:10:43,241 --> 01:10:46,366
Are you sure
the miller was dead?
698
01:10:46,383 --> 01:10:49,349
If he wasn't,
he will be down there...
699
01:10:49,426 --> 01:10:54,917
Lady, I'm not a killer, but...
better master Oderisi than us.
700
01:10:55,234 --> 01:10:58,812
Yes... better him.
701
01:11:02,074 --> 01:11:03,915
Where am I?
702
01:11:03,972 --> 01:11:07,972
Don't worry, master Oderisi,
we're both in deep shit!
703
01:11:08,720 --> 01:11:11,508
- Weren't you dead?
- Did your wife tell you?
704
01:11:11,513 --> 01:11:14,246
- Did she tell you about her lover?
- What?
705
01:11:14,291 --> 01:11:16,391
You're a cuckold, master Oderisi...
706
01:11:16,482 --> 01:11:21,334
You filthy rogue, look who's talking!
I'll show you who's the cuckold!
707
01:11:21,971 --> 01:11:24,828
Who do you take me for?
708
01:11:25,168 --> 01:11:28,097
Your wife has a lover too!
709
01:11:28,172 --> 01:11:31,231
- So you had a go as well!
- Yes, but I got nowhere.
710
01:11:31,292 --> 01:11:33,602
Me neither!
711
01:11:33,955 --> 01:11:37,115
In that case,
it's time we talked...
712
01:11:37,334 --> 01:11:41,587
- Yes, let's talk...
- At last...
713
01:11:42,721 --> 01:11:46,589
Take that,shitface!
714
01:11:47,437 --> 01:11:50,273
- Get out, if you've got the balls!
- It's not easy!
715
01:11:50,294 --> 01:11:52,882
I'll help you.
716
01:11:53,274 --> 01:11:56,285
Lost your tongue, huh?
717
01:11:57,100 --> 01:11:59,897
Oderisi, take this!
718
01:12:00,356 --> 01:12:03,554
I got you there,didn't!
719
01:12:04,168 --> 01:12:06,283
Ugly moron!
720
01:12:06,356 --> 01:12:09,723
Ugly maybe...
moron for sure!
721
01:12:10,408 --> 01:12:12,908
Duke Guazzone!
722
01:12:14,037 --> 01:12:17,220
Got you! What a head butt!
723
01:12:17,294 --> 01:12:20,398
Who knows what's in my head?!
724
01:12:27,290 --> 01:12:31,045
- Come here...
- What's my name? Who am I? Did it rain?
725
01:12:35,338 --> 01:12:39,247
Enough, Oderisi!
We're clean now, aren't we?
726
01:12:48,435 --> 01:12:53,204
- Stop, I've lost my thirst... peace?
- Peace.
727
01:12:55,515 --> 01:12:59,523
However, according to me
your wife's an easy lay!
728
01:12:59,617 --> 01:13:04,622
She's a bit of a slut,
but yours is no joke either!
729
01:13:04,689 --> 01:13:09,435
There's a proverb that says,
"Wives and oxen are found at home!"
730
01:13:09,438 --> 01:13:12,772
We found wives,
but it hasn't worked out!
731
01:13:12,774 --> 01:13:16,059
Does that mean next time
we'll try with oxen?!
732
01:13:17,052 --> 01:13:20,327
Speaking sincerely, Olimpio...
733
01:13:20,540 --> 01:13:24,783
- Do you like my wife, Lady Ubalda?
- Fuck!
734
01:13:25,037 --> 01:13:29,591
- Fuck yes or fuck no?
- What a question... fuck yes!
735
01:13:29,898 --> 01:13:31,827
Ok...
736
01:13:31,904 --> 01:13:37,248
... and I confess that I like
your wife, Lady Fiamma.
737
01:13:37,877 --> 01:13:41,833
Am I wrong, or are you
proposing we swap horns?
738
01:13:42,546 --> 01:13:46,560
I'm just saying that neither of us
wants others to enjoy our wifes...
739
01:13:46,655 --> 01:13:50,129
- Correct. Excuse me...
- Thanks.
740
01:13:54,636 --> 01:13:58,051
In other words,
our fun is our bussiness!
741
01:14:00,759 --> 01:14:03,879
How come they did't drown
in the cesspit?
742
01:14:04,135 --> 01:14:09,580
Men like that
have the devil on their side.
743
01:14:09,675 --> 01:14:13,255
When they got home,
did they forgive their wives?
744
01:14:13,299 --> 01:14:18,328
Not only, but they confirmed
a vile exchange agreement!
745
01:14:18,395 --> 01:14:21,105
You mean, each sleeps
with the other's wife?
746
01:14:21,127 --> 01:14:24,264
Who knows how they'll be
after this sin!
747
01:14:25,165 --> 01:14:28,780
What times! The end of the world
is really coming...
748
01:14:28,893 --> 01:14:31,605
Oh mother!
749
01:14:42,476 --> 01:14:45,674
All in embroidered silk,
a real dream...
750
01:14:46,062 --> 01:14:50,339
You're right, I myself have seen
the duchess wear that dress.
751
01:14:50,432 --> 01:14:53,833
- They say it comes from France...
- The French have wanderful tailors...
752
01:14:53,902 --> 01:14:56,895
... but I find that dress
truly scandalous!
753
01:14:56,900 --> 01:14:59,642
- Do you think it is too short?
- Very short!
754
01:14:59,737 --> 01:15:02,591
To think it even shows
your ankles!
755
01:15:02,681 --> 01:15:06,044
Heavens, where will this fashion
lead us?
756
01:15:06,098 --> 01:15:09,215
They'll say that we're easy!
757
01:15:09,280 --> 01:15:14,070
So, will you give me
your chastity belt key?
758
01:15:14,201 --> 01:15:17,723
Even though the word
'chastity" doesn't suit her...
759
01:15:17,786 --> 01:15:21,223
- Here!
- I suppose you want mine...
760
01:15:24,405 --> 01:15:29,408
But don't fall in love... and re-lock it
asa soon as you're done.
761
01:15:31,748 --> 01:15:34,836
Do you think they'll ask questions?
762
01:15:34,919 --> 01:15:37,211
What questions!
763
01:15:37,278 --> 01:15:39,477
At most
they'll scream a little...
764
01:15:39,966 --> 01:15:42,884
- Gentlemen?
- Here!
765
01:15:42,948 --> 01:15:46,009
This is a nice spot, no?
766
01:15:46,078 --> 01:15:48,348
Perfect, I'd say...
767
01:15:48,381 --> 01:15:53,049
It's a marvellous day,
for eating and making love...
768
01:15:53,926 --> 01:15:56,425
Here, my lady...
769
01:15:57,435 --> 01:15:59,758
Here we are!
770
01:15:59,943 --> 01:16:04,465
Olimpio, do you prefer
eating or making love?
771
01:16:05,573 --> 01:16:10,139
I prefer making love, but
I'm not slouch at eating either!
772
01:16:12,267 --> 01:16:15,103
- And you, ladies?
- Loving...
773
01:16:15,197 --> 01:16:19,125
- ... because eating makes us fat...
- ... and therefore unattractive...
774
01:16:19,171 --> 01:16:21,725
Well said
775
01:16:29,882 --> 01:16:33,561
Fiamma, I hope you haven't
forgotten the onions...
776
01:16:33,767 --> 01:16:37,749
Onions? But you don't like them...
777
01:16:38,189 --> 01:16:40,712
... you say they're heavy...
778
01:16:40,718 --> 01:16:44,546
Well, once I killed a heard
of buffaloes with a single breath...
779
01:16:44,734 --> 01:16:48,479
... no offence to present company,
you understand...
780
01:16:47,562 --> 01:16:50,312
But master Oderisi likes onions...
781
01:16:50,364 --> 01:16:52,267
Me?
782
01:16:52,317 --> 01:16:54,453
Oh, yes... of course!
783
01:16:54,464 --> 01:16:57,467
Impossible, you've always
hated onions!
784
01:16:57,518 --> 01:17:02,262
I adore them! But at home
I don't want my breath to bother you.
785
01:17:02,266 --> 01:17:06,325
You can eat a cart-load here,
it'll all evaporate.
786
01:17:06,688 --> 01:17:10,888
Fiamma, remember
that vegetable patch near here?
787
01:17:10,926 --> 01:17:13,899
- Why not go and get a few onions?
- As you wish...
788
01:17:13,905 --> 01:17:17,106
... since it gives you pleasure...
I'll go and get some onions...
789
01:17:17,215 --> 01:17:20,130
I'll escort you...
790
01:17:20,247 --> 01:17:22,882
If my husband agrees...
791
01:17:22,951 --> 01:17:27,011
Oderisi is like a brother...
the stupid one, that is!
792
01:17:27,643 --> 01:17:34,235
- Well then, I'm off...
- Yes, go, I'll wait for you here.
793
01:17:58,154 --> 01:18:00,457
- Sir...
- My lady?
794
01:18:00,504 --> 01:18:03,537
- What are you waiting for?
- What am I meant to do?
795
01:18:03,548 --> 01:18:08,565
Cuckold the miller, given that
you're both in agreement!
796
01:18:08,580 --> 01:18:11,114
But nobody knows...
797
01:18:13,219 --> 01:18:17,086
Who could forget!
Lord that's a lot!
798
01:18:21,306 --> 01:18:24,006
- My lady...
- Yes?
799
01:18:25,352 --> 01:18:29,923
- Do you really want get onions?
- But we're getting them for you...
800
01:18:30,140 --> 01:18:34,751
- Do you want like them?
- Yes, but I prefer apples...
801
01:18:34,888 --> 01:18:38,790
- Sir...
- Not to mention melons...
802
01:18:40,104 --> 01:18:42,512
- Shameless!
- Yes.
803
01:18:42,577 --> 01:18:46,674
- So you, I'll undress...
- And the key?
804
01:18:46,753 --> 01:18:49,569
Yes, the key...
805
01:18:50,430 --> 01:18:53,345
Here it is...
806
01:18:59,589 --> 01:19:02,757
Sir, I mean...
807
01:19:03,078 --> 01:19:05,867
... are we doing this or not?
808
01:19:05,869 --> 01:19:08,166
Of course we are,
I'm nearly there!
809
01:19:08,242 --> 01:19:11,436
Holy shit, does this
key work or not?
810
01:19:16,196 --> 01:19:19,245
It won't open!
811
01:19:19,251 --> 01:19:21,313
It won't open?
812
01:19:21,501 --> 01:19:24,554
- Can I try?
- Sure, go ahead...
813
01:19:32,249 --> 01:19:35,076
Son of a fucking bitch!
814
01:19:35,240 --> 01:19:38,713
Olimpio De' Pannocchieschi,
key facker!
815
01:19:39,433 --> 01:19:43,435
Master Oderisi, that's
the last time you screw me!
816
01:19:43,443 --> 01:19:47,435
I'm going to butt your belly
till you burst!
817
01:19:47,487 --> 01:19:51,544
Get ready, death is night!
818
01:19:51,912 --> 01:19:54,438
Oh, sorry...
819
01:19:54,481 --> 01:19:57,065
Master Oderisi...
820
01:19:57,134 --> 01:20:01,997
Don't ask for mercy...
Oh, I thought I was stronger!
821
01:20:03,063 --> 01:20:05,551
- Not fair,I'm down!
- True...
822
01:20:05,592 --> 01:20:08,178
- Peace?
- War!
823
01:20:10,336 --> 01:20:12,921
Thanks, I didn't know how to stop...
824
01:20:14,051 --> 01:20:17,054
What?
Has the sun gone down?
825
01:20:17,113 --> 01:20:19,849
My ass isn't tender!
826
01:20:19,994 --> 01:20:23,597
Oderisi, are you hugging me?
Do you want to dance?
827
01:20:29,103 --> 01:20:33,185
Don't try to get away,
I've got you!
828
01:20:33,825 --> 01:20:37,525
What are this? Spring rolls?
829
01:20:38,560 --> 01:20:42,910
You know, you're heavy...
why not try a diet?
830
01:20:44,376 --> 01:20:47,928
Woms would work great!
831
01:20:48,647 --> 01:20:51,755
Peace?
- Peace...
832
01:20:53,018 --> 01:20:57,052
- Had enought?
- I'm a punch short, but it's too risky.
833
01:20:57,285 --> 01:21:00,639
- Do you still want Ubalda?
- And, you Fiamma?
834
01:21:00,700 --> 01:21:03,434
- Me, sure...
- Do you think I'm stupid?
835
01:21:03,480 --> 01:21:07,355
Then let's exchange keys,
but the right ones...
836
01:21:07,486 --> 01:21:10,287
No jockes!
837
01:21:12,852 --> 01:21:15,615
- I've lost it!
- Me too!
838
01:21:15,673 --> 01:21:18,748
- But we did't hear them fall!
- Let's look...
839
01:21:18,849 --> 01:21:21,672
Yes, let's look...
840
01:21:22,292 --> 01:21:26,270
The keys aren't here!
But there's a lot of chicory...
841
01:21:45,399 --> 01:21:48,215
Move!
842
01:21:53,655 --> 01:21:56,263
Come on!
843
01:21:58,220 --> 01:22:01,546
Ladies, what a lovely surprise!
844
01:22:01,621 --> 01:22:04,937
The plesure
is all ours, father...
845
01:22:04,997 --> 01:22:08,362
What brings you out here,
so far from town?
846
01:22:08,413 --> 01:22:12,106
Just an innocent picnic
with our husbands...
847
01:22:12,279 --> 01:22:15,717
Master Olimpio
and Oderisi together?
848
01:22:15,795 --> 01:22:21,013
Don't be surprised, our husbands
have reached an agreement...
849
01:22:21,183 --> 01:22:24,079
... they're firm friends now.
850
01:22:24,790 --> 01:22:31,216
How wonderful, at last
my desires have come true!
851
01:22:32,593 --> 01:22:34,926
But where are they?
852
01:22:35,097 --> 01:22:37,309
Her husband is in the fields
gathering onions...
853
01:22:37,335 --> 01:22:42,397
- Hers went for apples and melons...
- Great, I'm so happy!
854
01:22:42,856 --> 01:22:46,900
Field work makes a man
strong and vigorous!
855
01:22:48,191 --> 01:22:50,534
Please...
856
01:22:50,546 --> 01:22:55,685
My ladies, why don't we dedicate
this rest to meditation?
857
01:22:56,589 --> 01:22:58,926
You guide us, dear monk...
858
01:22:58,964 --> 01:23:02,992
Everyone say's you're a master
at talking to souls...
859
01:23:03,647 --> 01:23:06,665
Yes, everyone does,
won't you teach us too...
860
01:23:06,944 --> 01:23:11,126
- Does the abyss hide many sins?
- Hundreds...
861
01:23:11,430 --> 01:23:15,815
- How can a woman defend herself?
- By fleeing temptation...
862
01:23:15,920 --> 01:23:20,466
- And how does one flee?
- With will power, my children...
863
01:23:20,495 --> 01:23:23,713
And what must one do
to avoid the precipice?
864
01:23:23,789 --> 01:23:25,816
Apply will power...
865
01:23:25,853 --> 01:23:28,667
Help us find
the keys to happiness...
866
01:23:28,675 --> 01:23:32,446
- You have them...
- All of them...
867
01:23:34,750 --> 01:23:41,474
... which always works!
868
01:23:50,047 --> 01:23:52,709
- I haven't found mine!
- Me neither!
869
01:23:52,777 --> 01:23:56,136
Damn whoever invented
chastity belts!
870
01:23:57,277 --> 01:24:02,190
Modestly speaking, I believe
I'm one of the greatest inventors...
871
01:24:02,288 --> 01:24:07,155
... of chastity belts
and a similar protective devices.
872
01:24:07,424 --> 01:24:11,961
I have just the right device
for you...
873
01:24:12,099 --> 01:24:14,510
How do you find inspiration?
874
01:24:14,539 --> 01:24:17,864
In a flash, like now...
875
01:24:17,900 --> 01:24:24,263
I feel my mind move,
and snakes all over me...
876
01:24:24,355 --> 01:24:27,633
- Are you throwing them at me?
- Oh, sorry.
877
01:24:28,189 --> 01:24:30,776
- Here are my latest finds...
- Why, did you lose them?
878
01:24:36,285 --> 01:24:41,231
Under whatever circumstances,
a true chastity belt...
879
01:24:42,191 --> 01:24:47,044
... protects a husband's honor
with extreme defence devices.
880
01:24:48,436 --> 01:24:51,950
This one's called
"The Demon's Claw"...
881
01:24:52,690 --> 01:24:56,699
I'll show you how it works...
Here...
882
01:24:57,313 --> 01:25:00,316
...proceed...
883
01:25:05,969 --> 01:25:07,981
See?
884
01:25:08,042 --> 01:25:12,632
No cucumber escapes
"The Daemo's Claw"...
885
01:25:13,374 --> 01:25:19,017
Now let's look at
"Sulphur of Satan"...
886
01:25:19,115 --> 01:25:22,749
Diabolic and infallible...
887
01:25:24,730 --> 01:25:27,392
Hand me a cucumber...
888
01:25:30,337 --> 01:25:33,355
Observe!
889
01:25:36,404 --> 01:25:39,236
Sulphur of Satan!
890
01:25:39,263 --> 01:25:42,586
No cucumber fails to scorch!
891
01:25:42,741 --> 01:25:46,054
But what if it scorches
my wife's peach?
892
01:25:46,082 --> 01:25:50,332
- Don't you have anything less drastic?
- Sure, my masterpiece!
893
01:25:50,503 --> 01:25:53,471
A cucumber, please...
894
01:25:53,490 --> 01:25:56,042
Here it is...
895
01:25:56,054 --> 01:26:00,668
A last caress... totally silent!
896
01:26:00,697 --> 01:26:04,934
It's a belt with one entry
and free access...
897
01:26:05,597 --> 01:26:08,125
Cucumber...
898
01:26:08,303 --> 01:26:11,619
- And now?
- When you least expect it...
899
01:26:13,261 --> 01:26:16,261
Did I scare you?
900
01:26:16,278 --> 01:26:19,038
- Does noise weigh?
- No...
901
01:26:19,095 --> 01:26:20,987
Then I shitted myself!
902
01:26:21,029 --> 01:26:24,030
Shall I warp it,
or will you take it with you?
903
01:26:24,039 --> 01:26:27,353
What?
Oh... send it to my house...
904
01:26:33,591 --> 01:26:35,708
Master Deodato, may I?
905
01:26:35,799 --> 01:26:40,285
- Oderisi, what brings you?
- Can you keep a secret?
906
01:26:41,000 --> 01:26:44,890
Like a charm!
An inventor is like a confessor...
907
01:26:46,470 --> 01:26:50,211
I need a device...
908
01:26:52,168 --> 01:26:57,184
... that allows free access
and looks innocuous...
909
01:26:57,551 --> 01:27:01,002
But at the right moment... SNACK!
910
01:29:38,673 --> 01:29:44,582
Adaptare Dvix Cristiano Ferocci
911
01:29:44,662 --> 01:29:48,134
THE END
71397
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