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This is dj suckaslam
spinnin' an old school tonight,
2
00:00:53,165 --> 00:00:57,031
inviting all of New York
to forget your y2k worries,
3
00:00:57,032 --> 00:00:58,464
turn up your radio
4
00:00:58,465 --> 00:00:59,999
and help good old Chuck brown
"bust loose."
5
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,680
And help good old Chuck brown
"bust loose."
6
00:01:04,767 --> 00:01:07,432
Oh, yeah! Bust it up, New York!
7
00:01:07,433 --> 00:01:10,966
♪ I feel like bustin' loose
bustin' loose ♪
8
00:01:10,967 --> 00:01:15,968
♪ Bustin' loose in the evenin'
bustin' loose can be pleasin' ♪
9
00:01:17,769 --> 00:01:20,768
♪ Talkin' about bustin' loose ♪
10
00:01:20,769 --> 00:01:23,302
♪ Bustin' loosein the meantime ♪
11
00:01:23,303 --> 00:01:26,236
♪ Bustin' loosemake you feel fine ♪
12
00:01:26,237 --> 00:01:29,236
♪ Talkin' about bustin' loose ♪
13
00:01:29,237 --> 00:01:29,999
♪ Bustin' loose
to my love Jones ♪
14
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,436
♪ Bustin' loose
to my love Jones ♪
15
00:01:31,437 --> 00:01:34,405
♪ Bustin' loose
to each his own ♪
16
00:01:36,038 --> 00:01:38,238
♪ Gimme the bridge, y'all ♪
17
00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:48,139
♪ Hey, Leroy ♪
18
00:01:48,140 --> 00:01:51,006
♪ Gimme some of that horn
right here ♪
19
00:01:58,308 --> 00:01:59,999
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
20
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:00,500
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
21
00:02:03,142 --> 00:02:05,876
♪ Give me some of that horn ♪
22
00:02:07,742 --> 00:02:09,775
♪ Wah, wah, wow! ♪
23
00:02:09,776 --> 00:02:11,942
Taxi!
24
00:02:11,943 --> 00:02:13,310
Oooh. Oh!
25
00:02:16,277 --> 00:02:20,811
♪ I feel like bustin' loosebustin' loose, y'all ♪
26
00:02:33,247 --> 00:02:35,279
Can I give you a ride?
27
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,112
The way you drive?
28
00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:41,913
♪ I feel like bustin' loosebustin' loose, now ♪
29
00:02:41,914 --> 00:02:44,047
♪ Bustin' loosewhen you want to deal ♪
30
00:02:44,048 --> 00:02:45,915
♪ Bustin' loosedoin' what you feel ♪
31
00:02:47,782 --> 00:02:50,947
♪ Talkin' aboutbustin' loose, girl ♪
32
00:02:50,948 --> 00:02:52,982
♪ Bustin' loosewhen you want to deal ♪
33
00:02:52,983 --> 00:02:54,916
♪ Bustin' loosedoin' what you feel ♪
34
00:02:56,750 --> 00:02:58,883
♪ Talkin' aboutbustin' loose, now ♪
35
00:02:58,884 --> 00:02:59,999
♪ Bustin' loosewhen you want to sing ♪
36
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:00,883
♪ Bustin' loosewhen you want to sing ♪
37
00:03:00,884 --> 00:03:03,151
♪ Bustin' loosebaby, do your thing ♪
38
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:07,017
♪ Talkin' aboutbustin' loose, girl ♪
39
00:03:07,018 --> 00:03:09,784
♪ Bustin' loosewhen you want to sing ♪
40
00:03:09,785 --> 00:03:12,752
♪ Bustin' loosebaby, do your thing ♪
41
00:03:14,752 --> 00:03:16,787
♪ Gimme the bridge, y'all ♪
42
00:03:21,154 --> 00:03:22,986
So how you doing?
43
00:03:22,987 --> 00:03:26,188
Wow, you sure got
a lot of confidence.
44
00:03:27,188 --> 00:03:28,620
Ralph.
45
00:03:28,621 --> 00:03:29,999
Ralph kramden.
46
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:30,654
Ralph kramden.
47
00:03:30,655 --> 00:03:33,789
Operator
of this machine and, uh...
48
00:03:34,855 --> 00:03:36,589
This machine.
49
00:03:38,056 --> 00:03:39,122
Alice.
50
00:03:39,123 --> 00:03:40,889
Alice Gibson.
51
00:03:40,890 --> 00:03:42,923
What's up,
Alice Gibson?
52
00:03:46,024 --> 00:03:47,589
So, Ralph kramden,
53
00:03:47,590 --> 00:03:48,890
are you taking me
to Brooklyn, or what?
54
00:03:48,891 --> 00:03:50,657
I'll take you anywhere
you wanna go.
55
00:03:50,658 --> 00:03:52,724
Crown heights.
Red hook. Bushwick.
56
00:03:52,725 --> 00:03:55,259
I'll take you to the moon,
Alice. Come on.
57
00:03:58,125 --> 00:03:59,999
♪ Ooh, yeah ♪
58
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:00,226
♪ Ooh, yeah ♪
59
00:04:00,227 --> 00:04:03,025
I hope you're not going
to lose your job over this.
60
00:04:03,026 --> 00:04:04,292
So what if I do?
61
00:04:04,293 --> 00:04:05,592
I mean, this right here,
62
00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:06,659
this whole
bus-driver thing?
63
00:04:06,660 --> 00:04:07,592
This is temporary.
64
00:04:07,593 --> 00:04:09,126
I'm an entrepreneur.
65
00:04:09,127 --> 00:04:12,028
And, uh, this is going to
make me a millionaire.
66
00:04:13,928 --> 00:04:16,661
"Kramden international
y2k ultra deluxe survival kit"?
67
00:04:16,662 --> 00:04:17,628
Yeah.
68
00:04:17,629 --> 00:04:18,961
And when y2k hit,
69
00:04:18,962 --> 00:04:21,028
you gonna need
all that stuff in there.
70
00:04:21,029 --> 00:04:22,995
You think y2k
is gonna be that bad?
71
00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:24,696
You ain't been watching CNN?
72
00:04:24,697 --> 00:04:26,295
I mean, when every
computer in the world
73
00:04:26,296 --> 00:04:28,762
shuts down on new year's Eve,
74
00:04:28,763 --> 00:04:29,999
that kit,
plus a check or money order
75
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,263
that kit,
plus a check or money order
76
00:04:31,264 --> 00:04:33,863
for $29.99,
plus shipping and handling,
77
00:04:33,864 --> 00:04:35,631
is the only thing
that is going to protect you
78
00:04:35,632 --> 00:04:36,830
against total chaos.
79
00:04:36,831 --> 00:04:38,764
Wow. Total chaos?
80
00:04:38,765 --> 00:04:41,198
Yeah, I mean,
you know, if I'm lucky.
81
00:04:41,199 --> 00:04:44,598
I guess my dream's
a little bit more practical.
82
00:04:44,599 --> 00:04:45,732
Oh, yeah?
83
00:04:45,733 --> 00:04:46,899
Like what?
84
00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:48,665
My own home.
85
00:04:48,666 --> 00:04:49,799
Nothing fancy,
86
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,033
just a little place
all my own.
87
00:04:52,034 --> 00:04:53,200
You know?
88
00:04:53,201 --> 00:04:54,800
No landlord
89
00:04:54,801 --> 00:04:58,200
or haggling with the super
to fix the pipes
90
00:04:58,201 --> 00:04:59,934
or rent increases.
91
00:04:59,935 --> 00:05:00,000
Just my name on a deed
92
00:05:00,001 --> 00:05:01,600
just my name on a deed
93
00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:04,001
and, well, some lawn chairs
on the front porch
94
00:05:04,002 --> 00:05:06,535
so I can watch my kids
play ball in the street.
95
00:05:06,536 --> 00:05:07,803
You got kids?
96
00:05:09,503 --> 00:05:11,103
I'm playing.
97
00:05:13,171 --> 00:05:15,736
Can't you feel it, Alice?
98
00:05:15,737 --> 00:05:18,170
We're on the verge
of a new millennium.
99
00:05:18,171 --> 00:05:19,737
You need to stick
with your boy,
100
00:05:19,738 --> 00:05:21,237
because I'm
about to blow up!
101
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:24,271
I mean, you'll see,
this job,
102
00:05:24,272 --> 00:05:26,971
these empty pockets,
this waistline, gone!
103
00:05:26,972 --> 00:05:28,238
Yeah.
104
00:05:28,239 --> 00:05:29,999
One day...
105
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:30,139
One day...
106
00:05:30,140 --> 00:05:32,773
I'm gonna own this town!
107
00:05:34,473 --> 00:05:35,872
Is that what you think?
108
00:05:35,873 --> 00:05:37,473
I own this town?
109
00:05:37,474 --> 00:05:38,873
I just asked you
to talk to the super
110
00:05:38,874 --> 00:05:39,873
about the pipes, Ralph.
111
00:05:39,874 --> 00:05:40,907
That's all.
112
00:05:40,908 --> 00:05:41,873
Today?
113
00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:43,140
The mets are
in the seventh game
114
00:05:43,141 --> 00:05:44,507
of the world series,
115
00:05:44,508 --> 00:05:45,674
and you know this,
Alice,
116
00:05:45,675 --> 00:05:47,235
and you want me
to think about plumbing?
117
00:05:51,710 --> 00:05:53,709
Okay, so it make
a little noise, but so do you,
118
00:05:53,710 --> 00:05:55,042
and I've learned to live
with that.
119
00:05:55,043 --> 00:05:56,243
Ralph.
120
00:05:58,043 --> 00:05:59,999
Fine. But I'm not dragging
the super into this.
121
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:00,943
Fine. But I'm not dragging
the super into this.
122
00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:02,510
I'm calling my boy Norton.
123
00:06:02,511 --> 00:06:03,077
He works in the sewers.
124
00:06:03,078 --> 00:06:04,578
He knows pipes.
125
00:06:06,212 --> 00:06:07,745
Yo, Norton!
126
00:06:09,546 --> 00:06:11,445
What's up with the mets?
127
00:06:11,446 --> 00:06:12,645
Today's the day, baby!
128
00:06:12,646 --> 00:06:13,678
Yeah, I'm ready.
129
00:06:13,679 --> 00:06:14,746
Oh.
130
00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:17,112
Oh, my god!
131
00:06:17,113 --> 00:06:18,153
What did you do
to my baby?
132
00:06:20,114 --> 00:06:21,646
I didn't do anything!
133
00:06:21,647 --> 00:06:23,513
Never mind them,
ralphie.
134
00:06:23,514 --> 00:06:25,014
I got a new riddle
for you.
135
00:06:25,015 --> 00:06:26,914
A man was born in 1955,
what--?
136
00:06:26,915 --> 00:06:28,081
Not now!
137
00:06:28,082 --> 00:06:29,581
Alice wants you
to get down here
138
00:06:29,582 --> 00:06:30,000
and take a look at these pipes.
139
00:06:30,001 --> 00:06:30,881
And take a look at these pipes.
140
00:06:30,882 --> 00:06:31,881
She's driving me crazy.
141
00:06:31,882 --> 00:06:32,749
All right.
142
00:06:36,450 --> 00:06:37,849
Don't come down that--
143
00:06:37,850 --> 00:06:39,449
That thing is gonna kill you.
144
00:06:39,450 --> 00:06:41,084
He's coming down
the fire escape.
145
00:06:43,184 --> 00:06:44,116
Hey, Alice.
146
00:06:44,117 --> 00:06:45,583
Hey, ed.
147
00:06:45,584 --> 00:06:46,516
Come on, Ralph.
148
00:06:46,517 --> 00:06:48,117
A man was born in 1955.
149
00:06:48,118 --> 00:06:49,983
Today is his 18th birthday.
150
00:06:49,984 --> 00:06:51,552
How's that possible, huh?
151
00:06:53,585 --> 00:06:55,951
1955 is not the year
he was born.
152
00:06:55,952 --> 00:06:57,118
It's the number
153
00:06:57,119 --> 00:06:59,485
of the hospital room
he was born in.
154
00:06:59,486 --> 00:06:59,999
Damn, you smart.
155
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,152
Damn, you smart.
156
00:07:02,153 --> 00:07:03,919
What seems to be the problem,
Alice?
157
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,153
Listen, ed.
158
00:07:10,621 --> 00:07:11,620
I'm on it.
159
00:07:11,621 --> 00:07:12,721
He's on it.
160
00:07:12,722 --> 00:07:14,121
Yeah, why does
he gotta be on it?
161
00:07:14,122 --> 00:07:15,388
What happened to you?
162
00:07:15,389 --> 00:07:16,722
Knock, knock.
163
00:07:16,723 --> 00:07:17,855
Morning, kramdens.
164
00:07:17,856 --> 00:07:18,888
Oh, hey, trix.
165
00:07:18,889 --> 00:07:20,089
What you got there,
trixie?
166
00:07:20,090 --> 00:07:21,588
I made French toast.
167
00:07:21,589 --> 00:07:23,589
Alice, I tried
this new powdered sugar,
168
00:07:23,590 --> 00:07:25,756
tastymeds. It's the one
they give to the diabetics
169
00:07:25,757 --> 00:07:27,389
right when they wake up
from the coma.
170
00:07:27,390 --> 00:07:28,723
Ninety-nine cents.
171
00:07:28,724 --> 00:07:29,999
There's a slight
little aftertaste,
172
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:30,024
there's a slight
little aftertaste,
173
00:07:30,025 --> 00:07:31,457
but it's still good,
174
00:07:31,458 --> 00:07:33,590
right, Ralph?
Mm. See?
175
00:07:33,591 --> 00:07:35,124
Trixie makes ed French toast.
176
00:07:35,125 --> 00:07:37,124
That's cause Ed's
not on trimspa.
177
00:07:37,125 --> 00:07:38,758
Oh, you got jokes.
178
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,424
You just a regular
upn sitcom, huh, Alice?
179
00:07:40,425 --> 00:07:42,158
I gotta get
to these pipes.
180
00:07:42,159 --> 00:07:43,891
Look, just
fix it, okay?
181
00:07:43,892 --> 00:07:45,692
It'd be good to have
some peace and quiet
182
00:07:45,693 --> 00:07:46,992
around here.
183
00:07:46,993 --> 00:07:48,592
Yo!
184
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:49,826
Oh, my god!
Yo!
185
00:07:49,827 --> 00:07:50,992
Oh, my god!
186
00:07:50,993 --> 00:07:52,593
Ed, what'd you
do now?
187
00:07:52,594 --> 00:07:54,460
They wanted me
to fix their pipes.
188
00:07:54,461 --> 00:07:55,727
Yeah, not knock a big hole
in the wall!
189
00:07:55,728 --> 00:07:57,594
That's where
the pipes are, Ralph.
190
00:07:57,595 --> 00:07:58,894
If you'd just talked
to the landlord
191
00:07:58,895 --> 00:07:59,999
like I asked you to
in the first place...
192
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:00,594
Like I asked you to
in the first place...
193
00:08:00,595 --> 00:08:01,861
That's a much better idea,
194
00:08:01,862 --> 00:08:03,695
'cause I do my best work
down below.
195
00:08:03,696 --> 00:08:04,995
Ooh, now that
is true, baby.
196
00:08:04,996 --> 00:08:05,995
You did say that.
197
00:08:05,996 --> 00:08:07,096
I mean, I'm a professional.
198
00:08:07,097 --> 00:08:08,695
People always call me
199
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:10,096
and want me to work
on their plumbing all...
200
00:08:10,097 --> 00:08:12,863
Get out!
201
00:08:12,864 --> 00:08:15,663
It's all right.
It's okay.
202
00:08:15,664 --> 00:08:17,130
Ah, ah, ah, ah...
203
00:08:17,131 --> 00:08:19,098
Take the wife,
leave the French toast.
204
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:19,997
Oh, man.
205
00:08:19,998 --> 00:08:21,031
See you
at the diner, Alice.
206
00:08:21,032 --> 00:08:22,797
Later, trix.
207
00:08:22,798 --> 00:08:24,031
Hey, Ralph,
208
00:08:24,032 --> 00:08:27,332
after work we gonna
watch that game-- out!
209
00:08:27,333 --> 00:08:28,565
Go, mets.
210
00:08:28,566 --> 00:08:29,999
You are certifiable,
you know that?
211
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:30,766
You are certifiable,
you know that?
212
00:08:30,767 --> 00:08:32,999
You ought to have
your head examined.
213
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,033
I'll have my head examined
anywhere in the United States.
214
00:08:35,034 --> 00:08:36,567
And you know
what they're gonna find
215
00:08:36,568 --> 00:08:37,734
when they look in there?
216
00:08:37,735 --> 00:08:38,735
Nothing!
217
00:08:41,601 --> 00:08:43,867
I asked you to do one thing.
One thing!
218
00:08:43,868 --> 00:08:46,701
You never appreciate anything.
You go on and on.
219
00:08:46,702 --> 00:08:47,769
I can't take it anymore!
220
00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:49,835
You gotta go.
I am late.
221
00:08:49,836 --> 00:08:50,802
Here's your lunch.
222
00:08:50,803 --> 00:08:52,102
Hey, tasty cakes.
223
00:08:52,103 --> 00:08:54,469
Yeah. Be careful.
224
00:08:54,470 --> 00:08:56,371
Always am.
225
00:09:01,738 --> 00:09:03,804
Stay out of the bus Lane!
226
00:09:03,805 --> 00:09:05,604
Hey!
227
00:09:05,605 --> 00:09:07,404
Vivek, my man!
228
00:09:07,405 --> 00:09:09,338
The mets
are going all the way, Ralph.
229
00:09:09,339 --> 00:09:10,739
You'll do very well.
230
00:09:10,740 --> 00:09:13,039
Oh, yeah. You know that.
231
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:15,839
Do you have a wager
on the game tonight, Ralph?
232
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,339
Well, no, not exactly.
233
00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:18,806
Let's just say
I'm taking advantage
234
00:09:18,807 --> 00:09:20,973
of certain
economic opportunities.
235
00:09:20,974 --> 00:09:22,740
Or, as my investment guru...
236
00:09:22,741 --> 00:09:24,340
Bart Roberts, says,
237
00:09:24,341 --> 00:09:26,474
"kick open the door
238
00:09:26,475 --> 00:09:28,640
and opportunity
don't have to knock."
239
00:09:28,641 --> 00:09:29,999
Heh, heh.
Yeah, Bart Roberts.
240
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,120
Heh, heh.
Yeah, Bart Roberts.
241
00:09:34,377 --> 00:09:35,809
Order up!
242
00:09:38,477 --> 00:09:39,476
Girls, come over here.
243
00:09:39,477 --> 00:09:40,642
Come over here.
244
00:09:40,643 --> 00:09:42,743
I have something
to show you.
245
00:09:42,744 --> 00:09:45,577
This is your new uniform.
246
00:09:45,578 --> 00:09:47,344
Oh, no. No.
247
00:09:47,345 --> 00:09:48,744
You don't like it?
Mm-mm.
248
00:09:48,745 --> 00:09:50,711
But I like the neckline,
the v--
249
00:09:50,712 --> 00:09:52,611
The health inspector
is coming soon.
250
00:09:52,612 --> 00:09:54,711
We got to keep
everything clean.
251
00:09:54,712 --> 00:09:55,911
Now, I'm gonna
show you something.
252
00:09:55,912 --> 00:09:57,912
You see this?
253
00:09:57,913 --> 00:09:58,879
Ah.
254
00:09:58,880 --> 00:09:59,999
And then...
255
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:00,013
And then...
256
00:10:00,014 --> 00:10:01,946
See? Spotless.
257
00:10:01,947 --> 00:10:03,546
Voilà.
258
00:10:03,547 --> 00:10:04,613
Yes.
259
00:10:04,614 --> 00:10:05,713
Excuse me!
260
00:10:05,714 --> 00:10:07,948
I'd...
I'd like to order.
261
00:10:09,682 --> 00:10:10,947
Alice,
please take him,
262
00:10:10,948 --> 00:10:12,314
because I can tell
263
00:10:12,315 --> 00:10:13,814
he's gonna
get on my nerves.
264
00:10:13,815 --> 00:10:16,315
Hi. How can I help you today?
265
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:18,281
Yes, uh... Alice.
266
00:10:18,282 --> 00:10:19,782
I would like
an egg-white omelet,
267
00:10:19,783 --> 00:10:22,015
and if I could get
a clean glass of water.
268
00:10:22,016 --> 00:10:24,282
Well, precious,
we don't separate our eggs here,
269
00:10:24,283 --> 00:10:26,383
and that's about as clean
as it's gonna get.
270
00:10:26,384 --> 00:10:27,750
Well, what do you have
271
00:10:27,751 --> 00:10:29,999
that's similar
to an egg-white omelet?
272
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:30,517
That's similar
to an egg-white omelet?
273
00:10:30,518 --> 00:10:31,751
Eggs.
274
00:10:31,752 --> 00:10:33,584
Well, then by all means,
275
00:10:33,585 --> 00:10:35,884
why don't you just bring me
whatever's convenient for you.
276
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,451
Ah, do I need to take off
my heels?
277
00:10:38,452 --> 00:10:40,451
No, no, not yet.
278
00:10:40,452 --> 00:10:41,718
I've angered you.
279
00:10:41,719 --> 00:10:42,952
I'm sorry.
280
00:10:42,953 --> 00:10:44,386
It happens a lot.
281
00:10:44,387 --> 00:10:46,252
Alice, hello.
282
00:10:46,253 --> 00:10:47,719
Oh, hi, miss benvenuti.
How are you?
283
00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:49,220
I'm fine. Hi, trixie.
284
00:10:49,221 --> 00:10:50,720
Miss benvenuti,
what a pleasure.
285
00:10:50,721 --> 00:10:51,820
Please.
286
00:10:51,821 --> 00:10:53,587
If you just
buy my house,
287
00:10:53,588 --> 00:10:55,454
that will be
pleasure enough.
288
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,454
Miss benvenuti,
you're selling
289
00:10:57,455 --> 00:10:59,454
that cute little duplex
over on hart street?
290
00:10:59,455 --> 00:10:59,999
Yes. I can't take
the winters anymore.
291
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,589
Yes. I can't take
the winters anymore.
292
00:11:02,590 --> 00:11:05,422
Mr. Davis here
and his company
293
00:11:05,423 --> 00:11:07,655
are thinking
of buying my house.
294
00:11:07,656 --> 00:11:08,856
Yes, we are.
295
00:11:08,857 --> 00:11:11,656
So if you girls could just go
296
00:11:11,657 --> 00:11:13,590
and cook something.
Ignoring you.
297
00:11:13,591 --> 00:11:15,590
Yeah, I wish
we would've known,
298
00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:17,324
because we've been looking
to buy a duplex for years.
299
00:11:17,325 --> 00:11:18,624
Well, I'm sorry,
300
00:11:18,625 --> 00:11:19,891
but my company's
already buying this one.
301
00:11:19,892 --> 00:11:21,524
We're not a company
or anything,
302
00:11:21,525 --> 00:11:22,924
but we would like
a nice place
303
00:11:22,925 --> 00:11:24,558
to move into
with our husbands,
304
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:25,492
have a few
little babies.
305
00:11:25,493 --> 00:11:26,725
A little trixie.
306
00:11:26,726 --> 00:11:28,925
Everything's
so expensive nowadays.
307
00:11:28,926 --> 00:11:29,999
Yes, it is. Wishing you hadn't
dropped out of high school?
308
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,726
Yes, it is. Wishing you hadn't
dropped out of high school?
309
00:11:31,727 --> 00:11:33,359
Still ignoring you.
310
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,659
So, miss benvenuti,
311
00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:36,728
how much are you asking
for the duplex?
312
00:11:40,495 --> 00:11:41,728
Alice?
313
00:11:46,295 --> 00:11:48,263
Cool.
314
00:11:55,730 --> 00:11:56,697
Yo, Norton!
315
00:11:56,698 --> 00:11:58,730
Yeah?
Let's go, mets!
316
00:11:58,731 --> 00:11:59,999
Bottom of the ninth inning...
317
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:00,797
Bottom of the ninth inning...
318
00:12:00,798 --> 00:12:02,398
This is killing me
right here.
319
00:12:02,399 --> 00:12:03,698
I'm telling you, Ralph,
320
00:12:03,699 --> 00:12:05,197
the mets is gonna
do their thing.
321
00:12:05,198 --> 00:12:07,298
But Cameron can't
strike out this time, man.
322
00:12:07,299 --> 00:12:08,432
I mean,
what is he doing?
323
00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:10,298
Yeah, right!
I know!
324
00:12:10,299 --> 00:12:11,699
And the guy hits good.
325
00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:13,732
Ed, the most
amazing thing
326
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,400
happened today.
You have to listen--
327
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:16,666
We don't bother you
328
00:12:16,667 --> 00:12:18,199
when you're watching
your stories.
329
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:19,700
Now, let us
watch the game.
330
00:12:19,701 --> 00:12:21,234
No, but we've got
great news, though.
331
00:12:21,235 --> 00:12:22,434
Not now, baby.
This is the last inning.
332
00:12:22,435 --> 00:12:24,134
You have money on this game?
333
00:12:24,135 --> 00:12:25,200
No.
334
00:12:25,201 --> 00:12:27,335
I'm a businessman, okay,
not a gambler.
335
00:12:27,336 --> 00:12:28,634
Come on, mets.
336
00:12:28,635 --> 00:12:29,999
Okay, wait. You remember
miss benvenuti?
337
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:30,169
Okay, wait. You remember
miss benvenuti?
338
00:12:30,170 --> 00:12:31,435
Well, she's selling
her duplex.
339
00:12:31,436 --> 00:12:32,869
Mm-hm. It's a huge duplex,
340
00:12:32,870 --> 00:12:34,468
and all we have to do
is come up with $20,000
341
00:12:34,469 --> 00:12:35,802
for the down payment.
342
00:12:35,803 --> 00:12:37,436
But she's only giving us
two weeks.
343
00:12:37,437 --> 00:12:38,403
Two-one pitch.
344
00:12:38,404 --> 00:12:39,736
Cameron grounds out.
345
00:12:39,737 --> 00:12:40,903
Swing the bat!
Would you guys listen?
346
00:12:40,904 --> 00:12:42,504
Just listen.
347
00:12:42,505 --> 00:12:43,771
Yeah, between the four of us,
348
00:12:43,772 --> 00:12:45,337
we already have
half of it.
349
00:12:45,338 --> 00:12:46,871
They've got $5000 saved,
and we got $5300, right?
350
00:12:46,872 --> 00:12:49,271
Oh, yeah, something like that,
give or take.
351
00:12:49,272 --> 00:12:50,605
He's got
a full count, man. Ah!
352
00:12:50,606 --> 00:12:52,171
What are they trying
to do, kill me?
353
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:53,538
Wait,
wait, wait.
354
00:12:53,539 --> 00:12:55,372
What do you mean,
give or take? Ralph...
355
00:12:55,373 --> 00:12:56,572
You didn't take any money
356
00:12:56,573 --> 00:12:58,439
out of our savings account,
did you?
357
00:12:58,440 --> 00:12:59,999
Don't know what she's talking about.
You know.
358
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:00,141
Don't know what she's talking about.
You know.
359
00:13:00,142 --> 00:13:02,306
Look, look,
maybe I went into our account,
360
00:13:02,307 --> 00:13:03,507
and maybe I took
some money.
361
00:13:03,508 --> 00:13:04,807
But then again,
362
00:13:04,808 --> 00:13:06,607
maybe someone
has a birthday coming up,
363
00:13:06,608 --> 00:13:08,840
and I'm just trying
to surprise her.
364
00:13:08,841 --> 00:13:11,307
My birthday's
in eight months, Ralph.
365
00:13:11,308 --> 00:13:14,375
Okay, maybe I got the dates
mixed up.
366
00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:15,742
She know who
the boss is.
367
00:13:18,610 --> 00:13:19,842
I know who
the boss, baby.
368
00:13:19,843 --> 00:13:21,243
Here they go.
Here they go, man.
369
00:13:21,244 --> 00:13:23,143
Make me some money, baby!
370
00:13:23,144 --> 00:13:25,076
Get this hit right here.
It's for the marbles!
371
00:13:25,077 --> 00:13:26,643
Three-two-pitch.
Cameron swings...
372
00:13:26,644 --> 00:13:28,710
Oh!
And sends it deep to left!
373
00:13:28,711 --> 00:13:29,999
Oh, he got hold of it!
It's going deep!
374
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:30,711
Oh, he got hold of it!
It's going deep!
375
00:13:30,712 --> 00:13:32,445
It's outta here!
376
00:13:33,678 --> 00:13:34,744
Yeah!
377
00:13:34,745 --> 00:13:35,844
Yeah, mets!
378
00:13:35,845 --> 00:13:37,311
That's what I thought!
379
00:13:37,312 --> 00:13:38,812
Hey! Baby!
380
00:13:38,813 --> 00:13:40,378
Whoo!
381
00:13:40,379 --> 00:13:41,578
Oh! My baby!
382
00:13:41,579 --> 00:13:42,645
Is he okay?
383
00:13:42,646 --> 00:13:44,413
We don't have
no insurance.
384
00:13:44,414 --> 00:13:45,446
Norton, get up! The mets! Mets!
385
00:13:45,447 --> 00:13:47,413
What did I tell you?
386
00:13:47,414 --> 00:13:48,347
What did I tell you?
387
00:13:48,348 --> 00:13:49,846
Go, mets!
388
00:13:49,847 --> 00:13:51,313
What did I tell you?
389
00:13:51,314 --> 00:13:53,313
I'm gonna show you
what's in these boxes.
390
00:13:53,314 --> 00:13:54,814
You wanna see?
I wanna see it.
391
00:13:54,815 --> 00:13:56,314
There's money
in these boxes, baby.
392
00:13:56,315 --> 00:13:57,481
Money, money, money.
393
00:13:57,482 --> 00:13:58,515
Money for anything
you want.
394
00:13:58,516 --> 00:13:59,448
Money for the house.
395
00:13:59,449 --> 00:13:59,999
Money for anything.
396
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,315
Money for anything.
397
00:14:01,316 --> 00:14:02,549
You gotta be
fast on your feet
398
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:03,516
to make it in this world.
399
00:14:03,517 --> 00:14:05,349
You know
what I'm saying?
400
00:14:05,350 --> 00:14:07,049
When I'm the first one
to hit the streets with this,
401
00:14:07,050 --> 00:14:08,183
I'm gonna make
a fortune.
402
00:14:08,184 --> 00:14:09,116
What stuff, ed?
403
00:14:09,117 --> 00:14:10,083
Mets stuff.
404
00:14:10,084 --> 00:14:11,717
Official merchandise.
405
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:14,050
Ralph met a guy on the bus
who gave him a godfather deal.
406
00:14:14,051 --> 00:14:16,584
Yeah, that's right.
Godfather deal.
407
00:14:16,585 --> 00:14:18,552
Yo. Boom!
408
00:14:22,586 --> 00:14:24,585
Never seen a met fan
wearing one of those.
409
00:14:24,586 --> 00:14:26,086
No, that's a throwback.
410
00:14:26,087 --> 00:14:27,419
It's gotta be in the other box.
411
00:14:27,420 --> 00:14:28,552
This one's the wrong one.
412
00:14:28,553 --> 00:14:29,999
We don't play.
413
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:30,120
We don't play.
414
00:14:30,121 --> 00:14:32,686
It's this box
right here.
415
00:14:32,687 --> 00:14:33,753
There you go.
416
00:14:33,754 --> 00:14:35,187
They just made a mistake.
Yeah.
417
00:14:35,188 --> 00:14:36,187
It's all good.
418
00:14:36,188 --> 00:14:37,687
Get ready, ladies.
419
00:14:37,688 --> 00:14:40,320
- Yeah. That's is it.
- Cashola.
420
00:14:40,321 --> 00:14:41,188
This is it.
421
00:14:41,189 --> 00:14:42,621
Here we go.
422
00:14:42,622 --> 00:14:44,689
There it is.
Boom!
423
00:14:47,790 --> 00:14:49,322
What the...?
424
00:14:49,323 --> 00:14:50,556
Ralph, why?
425
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,289
You had
to know better.
426
00:14:52,290 --> 00:14:54,290
This would've been
big money, baby.
427
00:14:54,291 --> 00:14:56,190
I mean...
428
00:14:56,191 --> 00:14:58,123
I was investing in your future.
429
00:14:58,124 --> 00:14:59,323
Really?
430
00:14:59,324 --> 00:14:59,999
Like the time you invested $900
431
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:00,690
like the time you invested $900
432
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,291
to market the, uh...?
433
00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:04,591
Oh! The pet cactus?
434
00:15:04,592 --> 00:15:05,725
Hey.
435
00:15:05,726 --> 00:15:07,192
A couple kids
get poked in the eye
436
00:15:07,193 --> 00:15:08,426
and get cornea colitis
437
00:15:08,427 --> 00:15:10,025
and ruin it for everybody? Yeah.
438
00:15:10,026 --> 00:15:11,192
That's not my fault.
439
00:15:11,193 --> 00:15:12,526
Oh,
my personal favorite,
440
00:15:12,527 --> 00:15:15,460
the velour Fanny pack.
441
00:15:15,461 --> 00:15:17,226
That's a man-purse.
442
00:15:17,227 --> 00:15:20,060
And I was this close
to getting al roker to wear one
443
00:15:20,061 --> 00:15:21,627
on the today show,
wasn't I?
444
00:15:21,628 --> 00:15:23,294
- He sure was.
- He was this close.
445
00:15:23,295 --> 00:15:25,227
I was with him the day--
You're not helping.
446
00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:26,694
Listen, Alice,
447
00:15:26,695 --> 00:15:28,462
we'll get the money
for the house somehow.
448
00:15:28,463 --> 00:15:29,999
No, we won't.
449
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,162
No, we won't.
450
00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:33,062
It's always going to be
like this, trix.
451
00:15:33,063 --> 00:15:35,029
Living
paycheck to paycheck,
452
00:15:35,030 --> 00:15:36,296
hand-to-mouth,
453
00:15:36,297 --> 00:15:38,029
never having anything
to call our own.
454
00:15:38,030 --> 00:15:40,130
But, no, you know what?
Hey, it's cool, right?
455
00:15:40,131 --> 00:15:42,331
'Cause most people in the world
live like this, right?
456
00:15:44,365 --> 00:15:47,165
I just didn't think
it'd be so hard.
457
00:15:47,166 --> 00:15:48,732
Alice.
Alice, come on.
458
00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:58,566
I know from the outside
looking in,
459
00:15:58,567 --> 00:15:59,999
it seems as though I have
a perfect relationship,
460
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,333
it seems as though I have
a perfect relationship,
461
00:16:02,334 --> 00:16:03,700
but the truth
of the matter
462
00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:06,101
is that Alice and I
don't always get along.
463
00:16:06,102 --> 00:16:07,500
Wow, I never noticed that!
464
00:16:07,501 --> 00:16:08,934
Ooh!
465
00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:11,968
Look, man, she's mad,
but she'll get over it.
466
00:16:11,969 --> 00:16:13,169
She wasn't mad.
467
00:16:13,170 --> 00:16:14,568
Mad, you do get over.
468
00:16:14,569 --> 00:16:15,968
Mad, I can handle.
469
00:16:15,969 --> 00:16:17,369
I know how to deal with mad.
470
00:16:17,370 --> 00:16:19,202
But the look she had
on her face,
471
00:16:19,203 --> 00:16:20,569
it was like...
472
00:16:20,570 --> 00:16:22,270
She was
disappointed in me.
473
00:16:22,271 --> 00:16:24,703
Like she didn't
believe in me anymore.
474
00:16:24,704 --> 00:16:26,537
And I don't know,
if that's the case,
475
00:16:26,538 --> 00:16:28,037
then how do you
come back from that?
476
00:16:28,038 --> 00:16:29,999
Show her that you're sorry.
Buy her ass something.
477
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:30,172
Show her that you're sorry.
Buy her ass something.
478
00:16:30,173 --> 00:16:32,371
With what? I'm broke!
479
00:16:32,372 --> 00:16:34,071
Look, check this out.
480
00:16:34,072 --> 00:16:36,405
I know a dude right now
selling Cadillac wheels.
481
00:16:36,406 --> 00:16:38,505
I'm talking about the spinners.
The gold ones.
482
00:16:38,506 --> 00:16:39,972
We ain't got no damn car.
483
00:16:39,973 --> 00:16:42,006
I also know a dude
that sell earrings--
484
00:16:42,007 --> 00:16:43,273
Norton.
485
00:16:43,274 --> 00:16:44,673
Look...
486
00:16:44,674 --> 00:16:46,073
It's getting crazy out here.
487
00:16:46,074 --> 00:16:47,040
Okay, come on,
488
00:16:47,041 --> 00:16:48,640
let's go shoot some pool.
489
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:50,507
That's why I never like
to brainstorm around you.
490
00:16:50,508 --> 00:16:52,009
You're very critical.
491
00:16:54,508 --> 00:16:55,641
Whoa. Wait, now.
492
00:16:55,642 --> 00:16:57,275
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
493
00:16:57,276 --> 00:16:58,508
Why do you
get to break?
494
00:16:58,509 --> 00:16:59,999
I'll tell you why
I get to break.
495
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:00,143
I'll tell you why
I get to break.
496
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:01,608
Because you broke last time.
497
00:17:01,609 --> 00:17:03,543
Oh, no, no. You broke last time.
498
00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:05,910
Know what? Fine.
We'll flip for it.
499
00:17:05,911 --> 00:17:08,343
Here. You call.
500
00:17:08,344 --> 00:17:09,444
I wanna flip.
501
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:11,944
Okay, flip.
502
00:17:11,945 --> 00:17:13,178
Okay, I'm gonna flip it.
503
00:17:13,179 --> 00:17:14,244
Flip it.
504
00:17:14,245 --> 00:17:15,278
Heads.
505
00:17:15,279 --> 00:17:16,511
No, I wanted heads.
506
00:17:16,512 --> 00:17:18,244
Well, tails then.
507
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:19,478
I wanted tails too.
508
00:17:19,479 --> 00:17:21,279
I got a big appetite
for tails too.
509
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:22,412
Just break!
510
00:17:22,413 --> 00:17:24,045
All right,
I'm gonna do it.
511
00:17:24,046 --> 00:17:26,113
You are the most ridiculous man
I've ever met.
512
00:17:26,114 --> 00:17:29,180
Maybe so, but I'm breaking.
513
00:17:29,181 --> 00:17:29,999
♪ Talkin' sexy... ♪
514
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,614
♪ Talkin' sexy... ♪
515
00:17:36,382 --> 00:17:38,915
♪ Oh... ♪
516
00:17:38,916 --> 00:17:40,915
♪ You know
I hit it right tonight ♪
517
00:17:40,916 --> 00:17:43,449
♪ beat them off
like a Tyson fight ♪
518
00:17:43,450 --> 00:17:44,916
♪ all that go nice ♪
519
00:17:44,917 --> 00:17:47,449
♪ draws on like a headset
manolos ♪
520
00:17:47,450 --> 00:17:49,916
♪ lookin' just right
you damn right ♪
521
00:17:49,917 --> 00:17:52,049
♪ oh, yeah
let me take you out the door ♪
522
00:17:52,050 --> 00:17:53,883
♪ whisper truth in your ear ♪
523
00:17:53,884 --> 00:17:55,417
♪ tell you all them
naughty things ♪
524
00:17:55,418 --> 00:17:56,950
♪ you been dyin' to hear
waitin' in the back ♪
525
00:17:56,951 --> 00:17:58,918
♪ while you tuck in
your hair ♪
526
00:17:58,919 --> 00:17:59,999
♪ we can take it
from the dance floor ♪
527
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:00,019
♪ we can take it
from the dance floor ♪
528
00:18:00,020 --> 00:18:01,551
♪ onto a chair, come on ♪
529
00:18:01,552 --> 00:18:04,084
♪ top on the broad day
lettin' 'em stare ♪
530
00:18:04,085 --> 00:18:06,118
♪ that's the cd
gettin' you off ♪
531
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,452
♪ bring you back to the crib ♪
532
00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:09,020
Would you just shoot!
533
00:18:10,187 --> 00:18:12,286
♪ Fire
don't you know ♪
534
00:18:12,287 --> 00:18:13,519
♪ I'm on fire ♪
535
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:15,187
That's on you, Ralph.
536
00:18:15,188 --> 00:18:16,587
Oh, no,
you don't, Norton.
537
00:18:16,588 --> 00:18:18,187
Hey.
538
00:18:18,188 --> 00:18:20,021
Oh, it's on, baby.
539
00:18:20,022 --> 00:18:21,455
Ralphie!
Norton!
540
00:18:25,289 --> 00:18:27,088
Where's my other hand?
541
00:18:27,089 --> 00:18:28,488
I can't find my other hand!
542
00:18:28,489 --> 00:18:29,999
It's right there.
It's there.
543
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,120
It's right there.
It's there.
544
00:18:32,924 --> 00:18:34,489
No, no. I'm gonna go
back in there.
545
00:18:34,490 --> 00:18:35,823
Don't hold me back.
Don't hold me back.
546
00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:37,290
How you gonna
throw kramden out?
547
00:18:37,291 --> 00:18:38,858
Ralph.
I'm gonna go back.
548
00:18:40,158 --> 00:18:41,357
What are you doing?
549
00:18:41,358 --> 00:18:42,890
I was about to go back
in there.
550
00:18:42,891 --> 00:18:44,024
What's wrong with you?
No time to play.
551
00:18:44,025 --> 00:18:46,391
We got a major backup
in the sewer system.
552
00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:48,325
How come every time
a toilet clogs up in this town
553
00:18:48,326 --> 00:18:50,125
they call you?
I'm a specialist.
554
00:18:50,126 --> 00:18:52,425
It's like being a brain surgeon
or spider-man.
555
00:18:52,426 --> 00:18:54,992
Spider-man. Spider-man
wouldn't have got us beat down
556
00:18:54,993 --> 00:18:56,527
and thrown out of no pool hall!
557
00:18:59,494 --> 00:18:59,999
Come in, trix.
558
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,194
Come in, trix.
559
00:19:02,195 --> 00:19:05,794
♪ Everybody want something ♪
560
00:19:05,795 --> 00:19:07,561
♪ and they don't earn it ♪
561
00:19:07,562 --> 00:19:10,861
♪ everybody wanna get money ♪
562
00:19:10,862 --> 00:19:12,195
What do you have on?
563
00:19:12,196 --> 00:19:14,296
Don't act like you don't
recognize my Ralph gear.
564
00:19:14,297 --> 00:19:15,995
I got my loud-ass
lime-green t-shirt
565
00:19:15,996 --> 00:19:17,563
that should've made us
millionaires,
566
00:19:17,564 --> 00:19:20,463
my 1987 leopard-print
Fanny pack,
567
00:19:20,464 --> 00:19:22,564
complete inside
with a baby pet cactus
568
00:19:22,565 --> 00:19:24,897
in case a brother
wanna get rowdy on the train,
569
00:19:24,898 --> 00:19:26,430
'cause you know
how they can act up.
570
00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:28,399
And to top it off...
571
00:19:31,299 --> 00:19:33,066
The rainbrella kangol.
572
00:19:34,033 --> 00:19:35,898
And you know I'll wear it 24-7
573
00:19:35,899 --> 00:19:37,365
'cause rain
ain't got no schedule.
574
00:19:37,366 --> 00:19:39,132
It's kinda sexy.
575
00:19:39,133 --> 00:19:40,299
Come on, Alice,
576
00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:41,966
you gotta admit,
your man is tryin'.
577
00:19:41,967 --> 00:19:44,801
Yeah. Yeah.
578
00:20:11,472 --> 00:20:14,038
This is what I do, huh?
579
00:20:14,039 --> 00:20:15,938
Right, hey!
580
00:20:15,939 --> 00:20:18,238
Hey! Hey!
Hey, yeah!
581
00:20:18,239 --> 00:20:19,872
Yeah, baby, man!
582
00:20:19,873 --> 00:20:21,039
Come on, Ralph.
583
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:22,905
I know I smell a little stinky,
584
00:20:22,906 --> 00:20:24,773
but come on
and give your man some love.
585
00:20:24,774 --> 00:20:27,306
I'm-- I'm cool on the love.
586
00:20:27,307 --> 00:20:28,440
Thank you.
587
00:20:28,441 --> 00:20:29,474
Can we go?
588
00:20:29,475 --> 00:20:29,999
It's this way.
589
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:30,907
It's this way.
590
00:20:34,142 --> 00:20:36,308
Come on, Ralph,
I got something to show you.
591
00:20:36,309 --> 00:20:37,308
This the scenic route.
592
00:20:37,309 --> 00:20:38,975
We're lost, aren't we?
593
00:20:38,976 --> 00:20:41,209
Ralph, if you lay it out
end to end,
594
00:20:41,210 --> 00:20:43,442
the New York City
sewer system
595
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:47,076
will stretch
about 6600 miles.
596
00:20:47,077 --> 00:20:48,776
A city beneath the city.
597
00:20:48,777 --> 00:20:53,177
And I got it all
right here.
598
00:20:54,778 --> 00:20:56,344
It's just
around here, Ralph.
599
00:20:56,345 --> 00:20:58,177
Check this out.
600
00:20:58,178 --> 00:20:59,278
It's gonna be worth it.
601
00:21:07,713 --> 00:21:11,113
Whoa.
602
00:21:15,415 --> 00:21:19,080
City beneath the city.
603
00:21:19,081 --> 00:21:21,048
Whoo, damn!
604
00:21:21,049 --> 00:21:23,181
Mahogany paneling,
velvet curtains.
605
00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:24,381
This is bad.
606
00:21:24,382 --> 00:21:25,882
What did I tell you?
607
00:21:25,883 --> 00:21:27,281
We find these down here
from time to time.
608
00:21:27,282 --> 00:21:28,882
Owned by some
rich white dude
609
00:21:28,883 --> 00:21:29,999
before flying
got popular, Ralph.
610
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:30,815
Before flying
got popular, Ralph.
611
00:21:30,816 --> 00:21:32,282
Solid brass.
612
00:21:32,283 --> 00:21:33,449
Imagine that.
613
00:21:33,450 --> 00:21:35,150
Rich enough
to own your own train.
614
00:21:35,151 --> 00:21:37,417
Well, someone's
going to.
615
00:21:37,418 --> 00:21:38,917
The city's auctioning it off.
616
00:21:38,918 --> 00:21:40,717
I don't know what for, though.
617
00:21:40,718 --> 00:21:42,385
Who would want to own
their own train car?
618
00:21:50,220 --> 00:21:52,319
Norton!
619
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:53,419
What is it, Ralph?
620
00:21:53,420 --> 00:21:54,419
This is it.
621
00:21:54,420 --> 00:21:55,886
What's it?
622
00:21:55,887 --> 00:21:58,220
We buy the train.
623
00:21:58,221 --> 00:21:59,887
We put an engine on it.
624
00:21:59,888 --> 00:22:00,000
Slap some wheels on it.
Maybe a new paint job.
625
00:22:00,001 --> 00:22:01,287
Slap some wheels on it.
Maybe a new paint job.
626
00:22:01,288 --> 00:22:02,820
I can get Alice to decorate.
627
00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:04,721
And we'll give tours
of New York City.
628
00:22:04,722 --> 00:22:06,387
"I'm Ralph kramden,
629
00:22:06,388 --> 00:22:08,888
and welcome to New York
and all the five boroughs."
630
00:22:08,889 --> 00:22:10,288
You know what, Ralph?
631
00:22:10,289 --> 00:22:12,388
Those tours
make a lot of money too, man.
632
00:22:12,389 --> 00:22:14,789
This is why you need me
to do the thinking. Yeah.
633
00:22:14,790 --> 00:22:16,623
Because sometimes
you gotta take the long view.
634
00:22:16,624 --> 00:22:18,022
Yeah.
635
00:22:18,023 --> 00:22:20,890
Okay. So we won't be able
to get the girls
636
00:22:20,891 --> 00:22:22,756
some little duplex now.
637
00:22:22,757 --> 00:22:23,790
All right.
638
00:22:23,791 --> 00:22:24,824
But soon...
639
00:22:24,825 --> 00:22:25,757
Yeah?
640
00:22:25,758 --> 00:22:27,891
We can buy 'em a palace.
641
00:22:27,892 --> 00:22:29,757
Awwww...
642
00:22:29,758 --> 00:22:30,000
Kapow!
643
00:22:30,001 --> 00:22:30,991
Kapow!
644
00:22:30,992 --> 00:22:32,759
Yeah, man, this is it!
645
00:22:40,293 --> 00:22:41,860
Oh, yeah.
646
00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:43,660
This is the place
where it's gonna go down.
647
00:22:43,661 --> 00:22:46,193
Hey, I got another riddle
for you, Ralph.
648
00:22:46,194 --> 00:22:48,627
Norton, not now, okay?
I'm assessing the room.
649
00:22:48,628 --> 00:22:50,294
Look, look.
650
00:22:50,295 --> 00:22:51,828
Twelve o'clock
right there.
651
00:22:51,829 --> 00:22:52,895
It's a fellow
entrepreneur.
652
00:22:52,896 --> 00:22:54,062
I know one
when I see him.
653
00:22:54,063 --> 00:22:55,928
He's looking
at our train.
654
00:22:55,929 --> 00:22:58,262
We don't have the cash
to get into a bidding war.
655
00:22:58,263 --> 00:22:59,829
We really don't.
656
00:22:59,830 --> 00:23:00,000
According to my investment
guru, Bart Roberts,
657
00:23:00,001 --> 00:23:02,029
according to my investment
guru, Bart Roberts,
658
00:23:02,030 --> 00:23:03,796
"if you know you can't compete,
659
00:23:03,797 --> 00:23:06,731
you may
have to practice deceit."
660
00:23:21,733 --> 00:23:25,166
Now, that there
is a very fine train.
661
00:23:25,167 --> 00:23:26,833
Ralph kramden.
662
00:23:26,834 --> 00:23:28,800
Hitako kawakami.
663
00:23:28,801 --> 00:23:29,967
Hmm.
664
00:23:29,968 --> 00:23:30,000
Well, thank you,
Mr...
665
00:23:30,001 --> 00:23:31,267
Well, thank you,
Mr...
666
00:23:31,268 --> 00:23:33,602
"Hikato kamakwami."
667
00:23:34,602 --> 00:23:36,168
Here we go.
668
00:23:36,169 --> 00:23:38,668
This is me right here.
669
00:23:38,669 --> 00:23:41,735
"Ralph kramden...
International"?
670
00:23:41,736 --> 00:23:43,035
Well, for now.
671
00:23:43,036 --> 00:23:46,237
But we are expanding
to a more global approach.
672
00:23:49,171 --> 00:23:50,770
Man, they must have dug
in the archives
673
00:23:50,771 --> 00:23:51,871
for this old picture.
674
00:23:51,872 --> 00:23:53,871
What do you mean?
675
00:23:53,872 --> 00:23:56,171
This doesn't look anything
like the train they're selling.
676
00:23:56,172 --> 00:23:57,239
No.
677
00:23:58,739 --> 00:23:59,905
You've seen it?
678
00:23:59,906 --> 00:24:00,000
Have I seen--?
679
00:24:00,001 --> 00:24:01,305
Have I seen--?
680
00:24:01,306 --> 00:24:02,671
Of course I've seen it.
681
00:24:02,672 --> 00:24:04,038
It's right out the door.
682
00:24:04,039 --> 00:24:05,138
Come with me,
683
00:24:05,139 --> 00:24:06,740
and I'll show you
the train.
684
00:24:11,007 --> 00:24:12,807
Sold! 230.
685
00:24:12,808 --> 00:24:14,740
Lucky lady in the back.
Next up.
686
00:24:14,741 --> 00:24:16,107
It's back and to the left.
687
00:24:16,108 --> 00:24:17,274
An off-site item,
688
00:24:17,275 --> 00:24:18,241
a Pullman train car.
689
00:24:18,242 --> 00:24:20,641
Train car?
690
00:24:20,642 --> 00:24:22,674
We'll start the bidding
at $1000.
691
00:24:22,675 --> 00:24:23,841
One thousand dollars.
692
00:24:23,842 --> 00:24:25,775
I want to bid!
693
00:24:25,776 --> 00:24:26,809
Do I hear 2?
694
00:24:26,810 --> 00:24:27,809
Two thousand!
695
00:24:27,810 --> 00:24:28,942
Ralph!
696
00:24:28,943 --> 00:24:29,999
Two thousand.
697
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:30,277
Two thousand.
698
00:24:30,278 --> 00:24:32,610
Two thousand from the guy
over by the door.
699
00:24:32,611 --> 00:24:34,110
Norton, stop!
Do I hear 2500?
700
00:24:34,111 --> 00:24:35,877
Twenty-five hundred.
It's finally going
701
00:24:35,878 --> 00:24:37,644
in the right direction.
No, no.
702
00:24:37,645 --> 00:24:38,711
Three thousand dollars!
703
00:24:38,712 --> 00:24:40,144
Three thousand.
Get him out!
704
00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:42,144
Thirty-five hundred!
No--
705
00:24:42,145 --> 00:24:43,777
Thirty-five hundred
going once...
706
00:24:43,778 --> 00:24:45,879
Over here!
I'm bidding over here.
707
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,112
Once, twice, three times!
The train is mine!
708
00:24:48,113 --> 00:24:49,145
Sold!
709
00:24:49,146 --> 00:24:50,179
Thank you.
710
00:24:50,180 --> 00:24:53,014
Aah!
711
00:24:55,747 --> 00:24:57,248
I wish you would.
I'm a purple belt.
712
00:25:01,148 --> 00:25:05,648
♪ America, America ♪
713
00:25:05,649 --> 00:25:06,748
You're so good, trix.
714
00:25:06,749 --> 00:25:08,982
Why didn't you ever
become a singer?
715
00:25:08,983 --> 00:25:10,682
I know I should've,
but I have acid reflux.
716
00:25:10,683 --> 00:25:12,115
Ooh.
You know that.
717
00:25:12,116 --> 00:25:13,716
Uh-oh.
It's the competition.
718
00:25:13,717 --> 00:25:15,849
Hi, Alice. Hi, Alice's friend.
719
00:25:15,850 --> 00:25:18,116
My name is trixie,
and I don't like you.
720
00:25:18,117 --> 00:25:20,050
Oh, stop, please.
721
00:25:20,051 --> 00:25:21,483
We got off to a bad start.
722
00:25:21,484 --> 00:25:23,217
I'd like
to make amends.
723
00:25:23,218 --> 00:25:24,784
It's about time somebody does.
724
00:25:24,785 --> 00:25:26,150
You want to live
in the benvenuti place
725
00:25:26,151 --> 00:25:27,251
and I want to own it.
726
00:25:27,252 --> 00:25:28,584
We can all get what we want.
727
00:25:28,585 --> 00:25:29,618
Should I cut him?
728
00:25:29,619 --> 00:25:30,000
Let's go.
729
00:25:30,001 --> 00:25:31,018
Let's go.
730
00:25:31,019 --> 00:25:32,752
No, listen. I'm developing
15 affordable units
731
00:25:32,753 --> 00:25:35,052
on that property.
732
00:25:35,053 --> 00:25:37,219
I'll save a big fat sunny
corner unit for each of you.
733
00:25:37,220 --> 00:25:38,953
I'm a fun landlord.
734
00:25:38,954 --> 00:25:40,653
15 units on that little lot?
735
00:25:40,654 --> 00:25:41,720
That doesn't make
a lot of sense.
736
00:25:41,721 --> 00:25:43,953
I'm developing the whole block.
737
00:25:43,954 --> 00:25:46,988
But I need her property
to close the deal.
738
00:25:46,989 --> 00:25:48,687
I think he's crazy, Alice.
Look at him.
739
00:25:48,688 --> 00:25:50,021
Forget it.
740
00:25:50,022 --> 00:25:51,488
We don't do crazy.
741
00:25:51,489 --> 00:25:53,890
Mm-hmm.
742
00:25:56,023 --> 00:25:57,689
How's it looking, Lenny?
743
00:25:57,690 --> 00:25:59,999
It's not bad.
744
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:00,524
It's not bad.
745
00:26:01,724 --> 00:26:03,657
I have four or five
old engines
746
00:26:03,658 --> 00:26:05,023
back at the bus yard.
747
00:26:05,024 --> 00:26:06,190
Drive shaft.
748
00:26:06,191 --> 00:26:07,590
Wheels.
749
00:26:07,591 --> 00:26:10,024
I can turn this
into a first-rate tour bus!
750
00:26:10,025 --> 00:26:11,057
What'd I tell you?
751
00:26:11,058 --> 00:26:12,591
What'd I tell you?
752
00:26:12,592 --> 00:26:14,025
Lenny, the best mechanic
in the whole mta.
753
00:26:14,026 --> 00:26:15,992
He said it.
How much, Lenny? How much?
754
00:26:15,993 --> 00:26:17,958
Oh, for Ralph?
Whatever it costs for parts.
755
00:26:17,959 --> 00:26:19,592
I get most for free,
if you know what I mean.
756
00:26:19,593 --> 00:26:20,926
Ha, ha!
We gonna be rich!
757
00:26:20,927 --> 00:26:22,792
We gonna be rich!
758
00:26:22,793 --> 00:26:24,159
Norton, what'd I tell you?
759
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:25,894
You said it.
Gonna be rich!
760
00:26:25,895 --> 00:26:27,060
Hey, Lenny,
I'm gonna let you in on it too.
761
00:26:27,061 --> 00:26:28,493
I'm gonna
give him something.
762
00:26:28,494 --> 00:26:29,693
Hey, Ralph,
763
00:26:29,694 --> 00:26:30,000
I got one question
for you.
764
00:26:30,001 --> 00:26:31,994
I got one question
for you.
765
00:26:31,995 --> 00:26:34,161
How you gonna get this thing
out of here?
766
00:26:34,162 --> 00:26:35,794
Lenny, it's a train, okay?
767
00:26:35,795 --> 00:26:37,795
We're just gonna roll it out.
768
00:26:37,796 --> 00:26:40,428
We're gonna
roll it out.
769
00:26:40,429 --> 00:26:42,830
How you gonna do that
when all you have is, uh...
770
00:26:44,163 --> 00:26:46,097
20 feet of track?
771
00:26:52,465 --> 00:26:53,964
Uh, you don't...?
772
00:26:53,965 --> 00:26:57,032
You don't need track
to roll a train out, do you?
773
00:26:59,599 --> 00:27:00,000
It's 60 feet below street level.
774
00:27:00,001 --> 00:27:01,765
It's 60 feet below street level.
775
00:27:01,766 --> 00:27:02,832
It's gonna
cost you a fortune
776
00:27:02,833 --> 00:27:04,733
to move that train.
777
00:27:04,734 --> 00:27:07,133
Well, Ralph...
778
00:27:07,134 --> 00:27:09,733
Look like you...
779
00:27:09,734 --> 00:27:11,934
Gladys knight
without the pips.
780
00:27:17,868 --> 00:27:20,002
What are you doing out
so late, miss Celestine?
781
00:27:20,003 --> 00:27:22,435
I could ask you
the same question.
782
00:27:22,436 --> 00:27:25,135
It looks like I'm gonna be doing
a lot of double shifts
783
00:27:25,136 --> 00:27:26,469
from now on.
784
00:27:26,470 --> 00:27:27,669
Oh, really?
785
00:27:27,670 --> 00:27:29,999
Em, what's your poison?
786
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:30,137
Em, what's your poison?
787
00:27:30,138 --> 00:27:31,103
Gambling?
788
00:27:31,104 --> 00:27:32,603
Drink?
789
00:27:32,604 --> 00:27:33,870
Hos?
790
00:27:33,871 --> 00:27:35,870
Oh, no. No, no. None of that.
791
00:27:35,871 --> 00:27:37,037
Just...
792
00:27:37,038 --> 00:27:38,871
Worked myself into a jam
793
00:27:38,872 --> 00:27:40,471
trying to get along
a little better.
794
00:27:40,472 --> 00:27:42,572
Aren't we all?
795
00:27:46,773 --> 00:27:49,572
♪ Some people got to have it ♪
796
00:27:49,573 --> 00:27:51,072
♪ yeah, yeah ♪
797
00:27:51,073 --> 00:27:54,740
♪ some people really need it ♪
798
00:27:54,741 --> 00:27:56,541
♪ listen to me, y'all ♪
799
00:27:56,542 --> 00:27:59,999
♪ do things, do things
do things, bad things with it ♪
800
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:00,741
♪ do things, do things
do things, bad things with it ♪
801
00:28:00,742 --> 00:28:02,741
Man, I worked
four double shifts this week.
802
00:28:02,742 --> 00:28:05,008
Damn, Ralph, we need
to pimp some midgets,
803
00:28:05,009 --> 00:28:06,876
you know what I mean?
Yeah, tell me about it.
804
00:28:08,010 --> 00:28:09,608
What was that?
I don't know.
805
00:28:09,609 --> 00:28:10,975
Sounded like a big rat
or something.
806
00:28:10,976 --> 00:28:12,010
Come on, let's go.
807
00:28:13,644 --> 00:28:15,410
What are you do--? Norton,
what are you doing, man?
808
00:28:15,411 --> 00:28:16,843
Get away
from the dumpster.
809
00:28:16,844 --> 00:28:18,477
It's a dog.
Aw, man.
810
00:28:18,478 --> 00:28:19,944
Why would somebody
do this to a dog?
811
00:28:19,945 --> 00:28:21,510
Ralph, give me some help.
What?
812
00:28:21,511 --> 00:28:22,544
I'm not coming near
no dumpster!
813
00:28:22,545 --> 00:28:23,578
Give me some help.
814
00:28:23,579 --> 00:28:24,846
An innocent dog--
815
00:28:25,846 --> 00:28:26,946
Oh, come on.
Get him out.
816
00:28:37,813 --> 00:28:39,313
Oh, wow.
817
00:28:39,314 --> 00:28:40,680
Look at him, Ralph.
818
00:28:40,681 --> 00:28:41,880
I'm gonna clean him up,
819
00:28:41,881 --> 00:28:43,548
put him a nice little collar
on him,
820
00:28:43,549 --> 00:28:45,447
some rhinestones.
821
00:28:45,448 --> 00:28:48,315
Call him iggy.
822
00:28:48,316 --> 00:28:49,448
Iggy?
823
00:28:49,449 --> 00:28:51,382
Iggy's the perfect name
for a dog in the hood.
824
00:28:51,383 --> 00:28:52,815
Come on, don't get
so excited, all right?
825
00:28:52,816 --> 00:28:54,415
We're not
keeping the dog.
826
00:28:54,416 --> 00:28:55,582
Besides, the super
would never let us
827
00:28:55,583 --> 00:28:57,383
have him in the building.
828
00:28:57,384 --> 00:28:59,283
I ain't got time for a dogany.
829
00:28:59,284 --> 00:28:59,999
The dog is not coming with us.
830
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:00,850
The dog is not coming with us.
831
00:29:00,851 --> 00:29:01,951
Let's go.
832
00:29:04,585 --> 00:29:05,717
Don't worry about it, iggy.
833
00:29:05,718 --> 00:29:07,818
You're coming home
with us, baby.
834
00:29:16,053 --> 00:29:17,619
Oh, boy.
835
00:29:17,620 --> 00:29:20,020
There's some leftovers
in the kitchen.
836
00:29:20,021 --> 00:29:21,853
Oh, it's okay, baby.
837
00:29:21,854 --> 00:29:23,920
I ate already
with Norton.
838
00:29:23,921 --> 00:29:25,987
Sorry to wake you.
You didn't wake me.
839
00:29:25,988 --> 00:29:27,987
I couldn't sleep.
I keep hearing barking.
840
00:29:27,988 --> 00:29:29,999
I think somebody snuck a dog
in the building or something.
841
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:30,688
I think somebody snuck a dog
in the building or something.
842
00:29:30,689 --> 00:29:33,889
I'm sure you're just
imagining things.
843
00:29:36,256 --> 00:29:37,556
Ooh!
844
00:29:37,557 --> 00:29:40,422
These double shifts
are killing me.
845
00:29:40,423 --> 00:29:42,856
Baby?
846
00:29:42,857 --> 00:29:44,623
Yeah.
847
00:29:44,624 --> 00:29:46,523
That house means the world to me
848
00:29:46,524 --> 00:29:48,523
and I'm not gonna lose it
without a fight.
849
00:29:48,524 --> 00:29:50,424
I mean, if we can't get
the money by next Monday,
850
00:29:50,425 --> 00:29:52,491
Mrs. b's gonna be forced to sell
to that idiot developer,
851
00:29:52,492 --> 00:29:53,824
William Davis.
852
00:29:53,825 --> 00:29:55,491
And...
853
00:29:55,492 --> 00:29:57,358
Well, um...
854
00:29:57,359 --> 00:29:59,559
I'm gonna ask my mama
for the money.
855
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:00,000
What? Your mama don't have
that kind of money.
856
00:30:00,001 --> 00:30:02,359
What? Your mama don't have
that kind of money.
857
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:04,593
It's $10,000.
That's all we need, right?
858
00:30:04,594 --> 00:30:06,459
Well, sure.
859
00:30:06,460 --> 00:30:08,294
If I hadn't spent the rest of it
on the train.
860
00:30:08,295 --> 00:30:09,626
Huh?
861
00:30:09,627 --> 00:30:11,994
No, I was just kind of
adding it up in my brain.
862
00:30:12,562 --> 00:30:14,561
And...
863
00:30:14,562 --> 00:30:16,861
Baby, you really should
go by and see the house.
864
00:30:16,862 --> 00:30:19,795
I mean, Norton's
already seen it.
865
00:30:19,796 --> 00:30:22,429
Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna
get by there.
866
00:30:22,430 --> 00:30:23,596
Yeah?
867
00:30:23,597 --> 00:30:26,596
Yeah. Yeah.
868
00:30:26,597 --> 00:30:28,564
Thank you.
869
00:30:36,198 --> 00:30:37,598
I talked to some guys
870
00:30:37,599 --> 00:30:38,831
about getting the train
out of the sewer.
871
00:30:38,832 --> 00:30:39,865
How much?
872
00:30:39,866 --> 00:30:41,364
You don't want to know.
873
00:30:41,365 --> 00:30:42,498
We gotta get ahold
of some cash.
874
00:30:42,499 --> 00:30:43,865
Today.
875
00:30:43,866 --> 00:30:47,332
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
876
00:30:47,333 --> 00:30:48,666
Look at that, man.
877
00:30:48,667 --> 00:30:50,668
Break party. Break party.
878
00:31:02,303 --> 00:31:05,769
♪ Universal b-boy
looking for the perfect beat ♪
879
00:31:05,770 --> 00:31:07,937
♪ beat, beat, beat, beat ♪
880
00:31:17,871 --> 00:31:19,837
♪ looking for
the perfect beat ♪
881
00:31:19,838 --> 00:31:21,238
♪ searching for
the perfect beat ♪
882
00:31:21,239 --> 00:31:22,737
♪ seeking for
the perfect beat ♪
883
00:31:22,738 --> 00:31:24,171
♪ I must get mine
I'm out to get it ♪
884
00:31:24,172 --> 00:31:25,471
Sorry to disturb you
at this time, ma'am.
885
00:31:25,472 --> 00:31:26,772
My name is ed.
886
00:31:26,773 --> 00:31:28,172
And I'm Ralph,
887
00:31:28,173 --> 00:31:29,605
and what a lovely home
you have.
888
00:31:29,606 --> 00:31:30,000
Help us.
889
00:31:30,001 --> 00:31:31,339
Help us.
890
00:31:31,340 --> 00:31:33,573
We can't see a thing.
891
00:31:33,574 --> 00:31:34,739
Billy.
892
00:31:34,740 --> 00:31:36,540
What's up? It's Ralph kramden.
893
00:31:36,541 --> 00:31:38,240
How you doing?
Vacation.
894
00:31:38,241 --> 00:31:39,640
Oh, it's William now.
895
00:31:39,641 --> 00:31:41,874
Remember I loaned you $6?
896
00:31:41,875 --> 00:31:43,442
You got that?
897
00:31:51,510 --> 00:31:53,242
The Brooklyn
youth program
898
00:31:53,243 --> 00:31:55,410
is a program to keep young
little brothers like ourselves
899
00:31:55,411 --> 00:31:56,709
off the street
from stealing hubcaps
900
00:31:56,710 --> 00:31:58,443
and breaking
into your house
901
00:31:58,444 --> 00:31:59,578
while you're not at home. Yes.
902
00:32:07,712 --> 00:32:08,911
Jeannie Lincoln.
903
00:32:08,912 --> 00:32:10,679
Remember we went on a date
904
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:13,178
and it was supposed to be Dutch
but I paid?
905
00:32:13,179 --> 00:32:14,845
Two blind men
and a dog.
906
00:32:14,846 --> 00:32:17,246
That's a nice
little sweater there.
907
00:32:17,247 --> 00:32:18,346
Hey...
908
00:32:18,347 --> 00:32:20,646
♪ This is what you gotta do ♪
909
00:32:20,647 --> 00:32:22,348
♪ this is what you must do
beat this! ♪
910
00:32:25,448 --> 00:32:26,615
♪ Beat this! ♪
911
00:32:29,316 --> 00:32:29,999
♪ Beat this! ♪
912
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:30,582
♪ Beat this! ♪
913
00:32:30,583 --> 00:32:33,214
Look at that, man.
914
00:32:33,215 --> 00:32:35,715
Throw a dog a bone!
Throw a dog--
915
00:32:35,716 --> 00:32:37,882
Wait a minute.
I want some money.
916
00:32:37,883 --> 00:32:39,416
Give me $5, man!
917
00:32:39,417 --> 00:32:41,749
♪ Looking
for the perfect beat ♪
918
00:32:41,750 --> 00:32:43,816
♪ and it will help you
reach your peak ♪
919
00:32:43,817 --> 00:32:45,483
♪ keep dancing
to our perfect beat ♪
920
00:32:45,484 --> 00:32:47,283
♪ and it will help you
reach your peak ♪
921
00:32:47,284 --> 00:32:49,217
Hey, come here!
What are you doing?
922
00:32:49,218 --> 00:32:50,518
♪ And it will help you
reach your peak ♪
923
00:32:50,519 --> 00:32:51,619
Damn!
924
00:32:55,686 --> 00:32:57,552
Oh!
925
00:32:57,553 --> 00:32:59,118
Get off of me!
926
00:32:59,119 --> 00:32:59,999
Ed! You've gotta do
something about this dog!
927
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,552
Ed! You've gotta do
something about this dog!
928
00:33:01,553 --> 00:33:02,786
I told you,
929
00:33:02,787 --> 00:33:03,786
I'm watching him
for a friend.
930
00:33:03,787 --> 00:33:05,119
Here, boy!
931
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:06,687
Go get it!
932
00:33:06,688 --> 00:33:08,753
If things go right
with this house,
933
00:33:08,754 --> 00:33:11,087
we can get a dog
for the yard.
934
00:33:11,088 --> 00:33:12,688
And name him patches?
935
00:33:12,689 --> 00:33:14,421
Or iggy!
936
00:33:14,422 --> 00:33:16,121
Iggy?
937
00:33:16,122 --> 00:33:18,188
♪ Baby, if you only knew... ♪
938
00:33:18,189 --> 00:33:21,622
I mean, man, have you
seen the house? Wow.
939
00:33:21,623 --> 00:33:23,722
It's got a back yard for iggy
and everything.
940
00:33:23,723 --> 00:33:25,156
Yeah, man.
941
00:33:25,157 --> 00:33:28,190
So Alice invited her mother over
for dinner.
942
00:33:28,191 --> 00:33:29,823
Her mama's coming over?
943
00:33:29,824 --> 00:33:30,000
I better come over there with
my referee t-shirt on, then.
944
00:33:30,001 --> 00:33:31,824
I better come over there with
my referee t-shirt on, then.
945
00:33:31,825 --> 00:33:34,657
She plans on asking her
for the money for the house.
946
00:33:34,658 --> 00:33:37,291
Wait a minute. You done told
Alice about the train money?
947
00:33:37,292 --> 00:33:38,458
Oh, no!
948
00:33:38,459 --> 00:33:40,191
It's been my experience
949
00:33:40,192 --> 00:33:42,725
that too much honesty
can ruin a good relationship.
950
00:33:42,726 --> 00:33:44,159
Yeah.
951
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:46,059
Look at them
over there.
952
00:33:46,060 --> 00:33:48,459
What do you think
they're talking about?
953
00:33:48,460 --> 00:33:50,260
Us, bad weaves,
954
00:33:50,261 --> 00:33:51,827
fake Louis vuitton
purses.
955
00:33:51,828 --> 00:33:54,493
I mean, what do they
always talk about?
956
00:33:54,494 --> 00:33:57,161
Let's say the conforming
interest rate is 6.5 percent
957
00:33:57,162 --> 00:33:58,695
at one-and-a-half points.
958
00:33:58,696 --> 00:33:59,999
Does that leave us room
for a two-one buydown?
959
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:00,162
Does that leave us room
for a two-one buydown?
960
00:34:00,163 --> 00:34:01,628
I don't think
you'd want to do that
961
00:34:01,629 --> 00:34:03,195
in the first three years,
962
00:34:03,196 --> 00:34:04,495
but we could always
run the numbers.
963
00:34:04,496 --> 00:34:06,062
Hmm.
964
00:34:06,063 --> 00:34:07,762
Look at them over there.
No, no, no, ed.
965
00:34:07,763 --> 00:34:09,596
What do you think
they're talking about?
966
00:34:09,597 --> 00:34:11,363
You know how men are.
967
00:34:11,364 --> 00:34:14,064
They'd like us to believe
they're talking about religion
968
00:34:14,065 --> 00:34:16,197
or politics
or economic injustice...
969
00:34:16,198 --> 00:34:18,064
But you know
all they really care about is--
970
00:34:18,065 --> 00:34:20,164
Beyoncé is more
peach-shaped.
971
00:34:20,165 --> 00:34:21,497
Like the way
chaka Khan used to be
972
00:34:21,498 --> 00:34:23,131
back in the day.
973
00:34:23,132 --> 00:34:25,365
Chaka Khan used to be built
like a bleach bottle
974
00:34:25,366 --> 00:34:26,399
back in the day.
975
00:34:29,566 --> 00:34:30,000
Yeah.
976
00:34:30,001 --> 00:34:31,399
Yeah.
977
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:34,499
Hi, iggy.
978
00:34:34,500 --> 00:34:35,701
Go!
979
00:34:37,001 --> 00:34:37,766
Ooh.
980
00:34:37,767 --> 00:34:39,300
Damn, that dog can run!
981
00:34:39,301 --> 00:34:41,135
- Oh, yeah.
- You better believe it.
982
00:34:42,568 --> 00:34:44,468
Norton, that's it!
983
00:34:44,469 --> 00:34:46,703
We race iggy!
984
00:34:52,270 --> 00:34:54,603
How many years did you guys say
you've been racing greyhounds?
985
00:34:54,604 --> 00:34:55,769
Oh, 11.
Six.
986
00:34:55,770 --> 00:34:59,303
Ah, 11 years,
but six times
987
00:34:59,304 --> 00:34:59,999
in dog years,
of course.
988
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:00,537
In dog years,
of course.
989
00:35:00,538 --> 00:35:02,004
Give or take.
990
00:35:02,005 --> 00:35:03,571
Right. Right.
Five or ten years.
991
00:35:03,572 --> 00:35:05,104
He got in it first.
Yeah.
992
00:35:05,105 --> 00:35:07,237
Actually,
I brought him into the business.
993
00:35:07,238 --> 00:35:08,471
See, actually, we are...
994
00:35:08,472 --> 00:35:09,538
Brothers.
Cousins.
995
00:35:09,539 --> 00:35:11,172
Different moms.
Yeah.
996
00:35:11,173 --> 00:35:13,039
My father used to train
neglected chihuahuas--
997
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:13,973
Gentlemen.
998
00:35:13,974 --> 00:35:14,739
And then--
999
00:35:14,740 --> 00:35:16,206
It really doesn't matter.
1000
00:35:16,207 --> 00:35:17,473
What I do want to know is
1001
00:35:17,474 --> 00:35:19,573
how it is you've been racing
greyhound champions
1002
00:35:19,574 --> 00:35:21,740
for six to 11 years...
1003
00:35:21,741 --> 00:35:23,307
And I never heard of you?
1004
00:35:23,308 --> 00:35:26,641
Well, actually,
I can explain that.
1005
00:35:26,642 --> 00:35:28,308
You know, actually, we--
1006
00:35:28,309 --> 00:35:29,674
The past few years,
1007
00:35:29,675 --> 00:35:30,000
we've been racing
exclusively in Argentina.
1008
00:35:30,001 --> 00:35:32,108
We've been racing
exclusively in Argentina.
1009
00:35:32,109 --> 00:35:34,109
Yeah, you might've seen us
on telemundo before?
1010
00:35:34,110 --> 00:35:35,408
No, I didn't.
1011
00:35:35,409 --> 00:35:37,176
I didn't know
they raced dogs in Argentina.
1012
00:35:37,177 --> 00:35:39,343
Yeah, ever since
the shah took over.
1013
00:35:39,344 --> 00:35:42,277
The shah of Argentina?
1014
00:35:42,278 --> 00:35:43,510
Look, Mr. Kirby,
1015
00:35:43,511 --> 00:35:45,711
we got a dog here
who's itching to run.
1016
00:35:45,712 --> 00:35:47,444
How about this weekend?
1017
00:35:47,445 --> 00:35:50,445
This weekend is
the track's anniversary derby.
1018
00:35:50,446 --> 00:35:51,578
Well, good.
Sign us up.
1019
00:35:51,579 --> 00:35:53,578
Gentlemen. Gentlemen.
1020
00:35:53,579 --> 00:35:56,145
That's a $20,000 stakes race.
1021
00:35:56,146 --> 00:35:58,512
Twenty thousand dollars?
American dollars?
1022
00:35:58,513 --> 00:35:59,999
What he is saying is that
1023
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:00,146
what he is saying is that
1024
00:36:00,147 --> 00:36:01,613
we don't normally
race for such low stakes.
1025
00:36:01,614 --> 00:36:03,180
No, we don't.
1026
00:36:03,181 --> 00:36:04,714
But we'll make an exception.
1027
00:36:04,715 --> 00:36:06,615
Hell, yeah,
we will make an exception.
1028
00:36:08,115 --> 00:36:09,448
Stop.
1029
00:36:09,449 --> 00:36:11,081
Well, kennel sickness
1030
00:36:11,082 --> 00:36:13,514
has hit us pretty hard
this week.
1031
00:36:13,515 --> 00:36:15,448
It's a very extensive
screening process.
1032
00:36:15,449 --> 00:36:16,482
Who's his sire?
1033
00:36:16,483 --> 00:36:17,315
What's a sire?
1034
00:36:17,316 --> 00:36:18,382
His dam?
1035
00:36:18,383 --> 00:36:19,582
His damn what?
1036
00:36:19,583 --> 00:36:21,149
His lineage?
1037
00:36:21,150 --> 00:36:22,916
Are you talking about
his tailor?
1038
00:36:22,917 --> 00:36:24,216
No, he don't wear clothes.
1039
00:36:24,217 --> 00:36:26,084
He's got a 10-inch inseam.
1040
00:36:27,417 --> 00:36:29,999
Mr. Kirby, look. We got a dog.
He's ready to run.
1041
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:30,285
Mr. Kirby, look. We got a dog.
He's ready to run.
1042
00:36:30,286 --> 00:36:32,184
You've had some scratches.
1043
00:36:32,185 --> 00:36:33,284
All we want is a chance.
1044
00:36:33,285 --> 00:36:34,152
That's it.
1045
00:36:36,186 --> 00:36:38,452
All right, I'm going to give him
a time trial tomorrow.
1046
00:36:38,453 --> 00:36:40,585
If he qualifies,
1047
00:36:40,586 --> 00:36:41,885
he runs.
1048
00:36:41,886 --> 00:36:43,286
Oh, that's
what I'm sayin'!
1049
00:36:43,287 --> 00:36:44,386
Who's his trainer?
1050
00:36:44,387 --> 00:36:46,186
He don't need no trainer. No.
1051
00:36:46,187 --> 00:36:47,867
He don't need no trainer.
He's housebroken.
1052
00:36:49,088 --> 00:36:51,355
He needs a trainer.
1053
00:36:53,955 --> 00:36:55,487
Get dodge.
1054
00:36:55,488 --> 00:36:56,888
He's the guy for you.
1055
00:37:10,024 --> 00:37:11,357
You dodge?
1056
00:37:11,358 --> 00:37:12,490
Hell, no.
1057
00:37:12,491 --> 00:37:14,290
You got the wrong sucker.
1058
00:37:14,291 --> 00:37:15,423
Why? Who's asking?
1059
00:37:15,424 --> 00:37:17,158
We're looking for
a trainer.
1060
00:37:19,225 --> 00:37:20,625
Why didn't you say so, man?
1061
00:37:20,626 --> 00:37:22,126
What are you,
socially retarded?
1062
00:37:23,126 --> 00:37:24,958
What's up?
The name is dodge.
1063
00:37:24,959 --> 00:37:26,126
What's up? Okay.
1064
00:37:27,159 --> 00:37:28,259
Who--? Mr. Kirby sent you?
1065
00:37:28,260 --> 00:37:29,592
Yeah.
Well, that's cool,
1066
00:37:29,593 --> 00:37:30,000
'cause I'm a canine behaviorist.
1067
00:37:30,001 --> 00:37:31,126
'Cause I'm a canine behaviorist.
1068
00:37:31,127 --> 00:37:33,026
I train, board and breed
greyhounds.
1069
00:37:33,027 --> 00:37:35,060
I specialize
in temperamentally unsound,
1070
00:37:35,061 --> 00:37:37,127
psychologically unstable
genetical throwbacks.
1071
00:37:37,128 --> 00:37:38,927
I do not pick up excreta.
1072
00:37:38,928 --> 00:37:40,061
And I run
my facilities
1073
00:37:40,062 --> 00:37:41,196
right out of this place.
1074
00:37:43,196 --> 00:37:45,629
It says here you sell timeshares
in the poconos.
1075
00:37:45,630 --> 00:37:48,895
What? Let me see that.
1076
00:37:48,896 --> 00:37:49,929
Oh, yeah, my bad.
1077
00:37:49,930 --> 00:37:50,895
Wrong card, man.
1078
00:37:50,896 --> 00:37:52,196
"Importifications."
1079
00:37:52,197 --> 00:37:54,063
"Underage mail order brides."
1080
00:37:54,064 --> 00:37:55,496
"S&m fashion consultant."
1081
00:37:55,497 --> 00:37:57,030
You know what?
We don't need cards, man.
1082
00:37:57,031 --> 00:37:59,430
We don't need cards.
We're dog people.
1083
00:37:59,431 --> 00:37:59,999
We got a bond, a fellowship.
1084
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:00,998
We got a bond, a fellowship.
1085
00:38:00,999 --> 00:38:02,864
Hey, look at the dog.
Look at him.
1086
00:38:02,865 --> 00:38:04,465
He seems really
bright, alert.
1087
00:38:04,466 --> 00:38:05,431
What's his name?
1088
00:38:05,432 --> 00:38:06,565
That's iggy.
1089
00:38:06,566 --> 00:38:08,531
I'm Ralph and this is ed.
1090
00:38:08,532 --> 00:38:10,366
Hey, Ralph, ed.
1091
00:38:10,367 --> 00:38:12,199
You carry your dog around
on a rope?
1092
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:13,933
You siphon gas out of a car.
1093
00:38:13,934 --> 00:38:15,100
What's your point, man?
1094
00:38:15,101 --> 00:38:17,033
What? What, you--?
That?
1095
00:38:17,034 --> 00:38:17,966
Yeah.
1096
00:38:17,967 --> 00:38:20,001
You think I'm stealing?
1097
00:38:20,002 --> 00:38:21,300
Man, that's my friend's car.
1098
00:38:21,301 --> 00:38:22,533
Come on.
1099
00:38:22,534 --> 00:38:24,401
We prank each other
all the time.
1100
00:38:24,402 --> 00:38:26,334
You know.
I siphon gas out of his car,
1101
00:38:26,335 --> 00:38:29,435
he siphons out of my car,
yada-yada, blasé-blasé.
1102
00:38:29,436 --> 00:38:29,999
Hey, tell you what I'm gonna do.
1103
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:31,035
Hey, tell you what I'm gonna do.
1104
00:38:31,036 --> 00:38:33,969
I'm gonna train your dog
for $500. Cash.
1105
00:38:33,970 --> 00:38:35,236
I don't know.
1106
00:38:35,237 --> 00:38:38,169
You know what?
I'll let you think about it.
1107
00:38:38,170 --> 00:38:39,303
Give you a moment.
1108
00:38:39,304 --> 00:38:40,570
No pressure.
1109
00:38:40,571 --> 00:38:42,903
I don't know. Does this guy
look like a dog trainer?
1110
00:38:42,904 --> 00:38:45,337
What does a dog trainer
look like? I don't know.
1111
00:38:45,338 --> 00:38:47,337
Kirby said dodge.
Yeah. That's...
1112
00:38:47,338 --> 00:38:49,205
He said dodge, right?
That's what Kirby said.
1113
00:38:49,206 --> 00:38:50,472
Okay. All right.
Okay, we'll do it.
1114
00:38:50,473 --> 00:38:51,871
We'll do it.
1115
00:38:51,872 --> 00:38:52,905
All right. Good decision, man!
1116
00:38:52,906 --> 00:38:54,772
Five hundred cash.
1117
00:38:54,773 --> 00:38:55,839
That's it, baby.
1118
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:58,106
Let me check.
1119
00:38:58,107 --> 00:38:59,999
Hey! Hey, nice man-purse!
1120
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:00,539
Hey! Hey, nice man-purse!
1121
00:39:00,540 --> 00:39:03,173
You mean this Fanny-pack thing?
1122
00:39:03,174 --> 00:39:05,140
I got this off a homeless guy
for a quarter.
1123
00:39:05,141 --> 00:39:07,041
Some sucker made, like,
a thousand of these.
1124
00:39:07,042 --> 00:39:09,141
Hey, look, what are we going
to do about the training?
1125
00:39:09,142 --> 00:39:11,341
It's like this.
Let break it down for you, okay?
1126
00:39:11,342 --> 00:39:13,174
We're a partnership now,
a ménage à trois, all right?
1127
00:39:13,175 --> 00:39:15,109
You put in capital,
I put in experience.
1128
00:39:15,110 --> 00:39:16,376
At the end, you get
the experience.
1129
00:39:16,377 --> 00:39:17,842
I keep the capital.
Is that cool?
1130
00:39:17,843 --> 00:39:19,976
Great. Great.
1131
00:39:19,977 --> 00:39:21,442
The thing is,
I like to work at night,
1132
00:39:21,443 --> 00:39:22,876
if you don't mind.
1133
00:39:22,877 --> 00:39:24,776
During the day,
it's just too crowded.
1134
00:39:24,777 --> 00:39:25,944
Too many people, too many dogs.
1135
00:39:25,945 --> 00:39:27,176
So let's say we meet out
1136
00:39:27,177 --> 00:39:28,744
back over there
about 9 sharp?
1137
00:39:28,745 --> 00:39:29,999
Okay, 9, 9:00, okay.
1138
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:30,844
Okay, 9, 9:00, okay.
1139
00:39:30,845 --> 00:39:32,144
Remember, there are
no bad dogs,
1140
00:39:32,145 --> 00:39:34,112
only bad owners.
1141
00:39:34,113 --> 00:39:35,444
All right? Remember that.
1142
00:39:35,445 --> 00:39:36,779
I gotta bounce.
1143
00:39:45,047 --> 00:39:46,279
Hi, mom!
1144
00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:47,947
Somewhere around
the third flight of stairs,
1145
00:39:47,948 --> 00:39:49,081
I think I caught tb.
1146
00:39:50,448 --> 00:39:52,914
Here.
Oh, a pie!
1147
00:39:52,915 --> 00:39:54,414
Oh, and a box
of wine.
1148
00:39:54,415 --> 00:39:56,315
That is so nice.
1149
00:39:56,316 --> 00:39:57,781
Don't get too excited.
1150
00:39:57,782 --> 00:39:59,181
I'm taking back
what we don't drink.
1151
00:39:59,182 --> 00:39:59,999
Just have a seat on the couch
and relax,
1152
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,016
just have a seat on the couch
and relax,
1153
00:40:01,017 --> 00:40:03,016
and I'll just pop a hole
in the top
1154
00:40:03,017 --> 00:40:04,349
and bring you a glass.
1155
00:40:04,350 --> 00:40:05,949
Table setting
for three?
1156
00:40:05,950 --> 00:40:06,883
Does that mean
he's going to be here?
1157
00:40:06,884 --> 00:40:07,883
He lives here.
1158
00:40:07,884 --> 00:40:09,350
Not for long,
1159
00:40:09,351 --> 00:40:11,050
if Jesus
would quit making movies
1160
00:40:11,051 --> 00:40:12,852
and answer the prayers
of a righteous woman.
1161
00:40:19,886 --> 00:40:24,420
♪ Seconds of pleasure ♪
1162
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:29,999
♪ life's little treasures ♪
1163
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:31,087
♪ life's little treasures ♪
1164
00:40:33,855 --> 00:40:35,454
Hey, sweet face.
1165
00:40:38,322 --> 00:40:41,023
Hell, no! Oh, no.
1166
00:40:42,356 --> 00:40:43,688
What happened?
1167
00:40:43,689 --> 00:40:44,756
You married a damn pervert!
1168
00:40:44,757 --> 00:40:46,255
That's what happened!
1169
00:40:46,256 --> 00:40:48,089
Look, baby, it was just
a big misunderstanding.
1170
00:40:48,090 --> 00:40:50,256
Next, you'll probably say
you thought I was Alice.
1171
00:40:50,257 --> 00:40:52,289
Of course
I thought you were Alice!
1172
00:40:52,290 --> 00:40:54,124
Aha!
1173
00:40:54,125 --> 00:40:56,723
That's exactly
what a pervert would say.
1174
00:40:56,724 --> 00:40:59,157
Woman, one day,
you are gonna push me too far!
1175
00:40:59,158 --> 00:40:59,999
The only thing that can push you
is a bulldozer!
1176
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,225
The only thing that can push you
is a bulldozer!
1177
00:41:02,226 --> 00:41:04,225
Mom.
1178
00:41:04,226 --> 00:41:05,925
Mom, how about
you go wash up,
1179
00:41:05,926 --> 00:41:07,358
'cause everything's
under control,
1180
00:41:07,359 --> 00:41:10,193
and I'll just deal
with my little pervert here.
1181
00:41:16,827 --> 00:41:19,694
What is she doing here?
1182
00:41:19,695 --> 00:41:21,761
I'm asking my mother
for the money tonight.
1183
00:41:21,762 --> 00:41:22,894
Tonight?
Yes.
1184
00:41:22,895 --> 00:41:24,294
No. No, no, no. Not tonight.
1185
00:41:24,295 --> 00:41:27,294
Tonight you can't because, um,
1186
00:41:27,295 --> 00:41:29,862
Norton and I
have to go to the lodge.
1187
00:41:29,863 --> 00:41:30,000
The lodge?
1188
00:41:30,001 --> 00:41:31,029
The lodge?
1189
00:41:31,030 --> 00:41:32,295
What are you, Fred flintstone?
1190
00:41:32,296 --> 00:41:33,863
The lodge?
1191
00:41:33,864 --> 00:41:36,729
Look, I-- woman, I--
I got somewhere to be.
1192
00:41:36,730 --> 00:41:38,063
That's all
you need to know.
1193
00:41:38,064 --> 00:41:40,630
And that's it-tah!
1194
00:41:40,631 --> 00:41:42,064
I refuse
to lose this house
1195
00:41:42,065 --> 00:41:44,031
over another one
of your half-assed schemes.
1196
00:41:44,032 --> 00:41:46,097
Half-assed schemes?
1197
00:41:46,098 --> 00:41:46,998
Mm-hm.
1198
00:41:46,999 --> 00:41:48,831
Let me tell you something.
1199
00:41:48,832 --> 00:41:51,332
This country was built
on half-assed schemes.
1200
00:41:51,333 --> 00:41:53,632
I'm talking about
real inventive stuff here.
1201
00:41:53,633 --> 00:41:56,932
Like the guy who came up
with the thong. Okay?
1202
00:41:56,933 --> 00:41:59,733
He was short on material
and he used what he had!
1203
00:41:59,734 --> 00:42:00,000
Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
1204
00:42:00,001 --> 00:42:00,800
Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
1205
00:42:00,801 --> 00:42:03,034
I'm asking my mother
1206
00:42:03,035 --> 00:42:04,933
for the money
for the house tonight,
1207
00:42:04,934 --> 00:42:06,701
and I expect you to be
on your very best behavior.
1208
00:42:06,702 --> 00:42:09,301
Look--
Ralph kramden...
1209
00:42:09,302 --> 00:42:12,636
Your very best behavior.
1210
00:42:24,738 --> 00:42:27,304
Well, so far,
everything's edible.
1211
00:42:34,639 --> 00:42:35,772
Uh...
1212
00:42:35,773 --> 00:42:37,172
How about I get the entrées?
1213
00:42:37,173 --> 00:42:38,305
Ooh, entrées!
1214
00:42:38,306 --> 00:42:40,273
You going to France
for those?
1215
00:42:46,775 --> 00:42:49,141
Just one good swing.
1216
00:42:49,142 --> 00:42:50,840
What are you doing?
1217
00:42:50,841 --> 00:42:53,141
Trixie's coming home.
I couldn't let her see iggy.
1218
00:42:53,142 --> 00:42:55,208
You can't leave him here.
Alice's mama is over for dinner.
1219
00:42:55,209 --> 00:42:57,242
She's in there right now
asking for our house money.
1220
00:42:57,243 --> 00:42:59,999
So if Alice get the check
and she tries to deposit--
1221
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:00,709
So if Alice get the check
and she tries to deposit--
1222
00:43:00,710 --> 00:43:02,776
I know. She's gonna know
the account is empty.
1223
00:43:02,777 --> 00:43:04,809
That's why this meal
can't go well.
1224
00:43:04,810 --> 00:43:05,877
How you gonna do that?
1225
00:43:05,878 --> 00:43:07,077
I know you're
in there
1226
00:43:07,078 --> 00:43:08,110
eating all our dinners.
1227
00:43:08,111 --> 00:43:09,244
Just don't make
1228
00:43:09,245 --> 00:43:10,810
the same mistake
you made last time.
1229
00:43:10,811 --> 00:43:14,079
When you hit plate, stop!
1230
00:43:14,945 --> 00:43:16,612
Ha, ha!
1231
00:43:28,181 --> 00:43:29,999
Oh, you going straight
to hell for this one.
1232
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:31,720
Oh, you going straight
to hell for this one.
1233
00:43:33,014 --> 00:43:35,248
Mother Gibson,
that's free-range chicken.
1234
00:43:35,249 --> 00:43:37,148
What a chicken
does on his free time
1235
00:43:37,149 --> 00:43:39,248
is no never mind to me.
1236
00:43:39,249 --> 00:43:41,281
This is too much food for me.
I'm on a diet.
1237
00:43:41,282 --> 00:43:43,149
Oh, here, take my plate.
I don't have that much.
1238
00:43:43,150 --> 00:43:44,748
Thank you, baby.
1239
00:43:44,749 --> 00:43:46,182
I wanted your mother
to have the white meat.
1240
00:43:46,183 --> 00:43:47,503
I'm perfectly happy
with the dark.
1241
00:43:48,950 --> 00:43:50,216
Give me
the white meant, then.
1242
00:43:50,217 --> 00:43:51,283
No, it's fine.
Give it.
1243
00:43:51,284 --> 00:43:52,250
Ralph.
1244
00:43:52,251 --> 00:43:53,884
No, give me--
Ralph--
1245
00:43:53,885 --> 00:43:55,784
Give me the plate,
woman!
1246
00:43:55,785 --> 00:43:56,851
Mama?
1247
00:43:58,152 --> 00:43:59,151
Mm.
1248
00:43:59,152 --> 00:43:59,999
Mm-mm-mm.
1249
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:01,152
Mm-mm-mm.
1250
00:44:01,153 --> 00:44:03,918
The chicken
is delicious.
1251
00:44:03,919 --> 00:44:05,252
Ralph?
1252
00:44:05,253 --> 00:44:06,218
Eat.
1253
00:44:06,219 --> 00:44:07,986
Yeah.
1254
00:44:07,987 --> 00:44:09,627
I've never seen you
turn down food before.
1255
00:44:15,021 --> 00:44:17,820
So, what do you want,
Alice?
1256
00:44:17,821 --> 00:44:20,587
I thought we'd wait till
after dinner to talk about that.
1257
00:44:20,588 --> 00:44:22,155
I thought
you'd marry a lawyer.
1258
00:44:22,156 --> 00:44:24,156
Apparently,
we both thought wrong.
1259
00:44:25,890 --> 00:44:27,689
Oh, let me guess.
1260
00:44:27,690 --> 00:44:28,655
You need money?
1261
00:44:28,656 --> 00:44:29,999
We want to buy a house.
1262
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:30,157
We want to buy a house.
1263
00:44:30,158 --> 00:44:32,222
It's a duplex, actually,
with ed and trixie.
1264
00:44:32,223 --> 00:44:33,956
Well, you know,
truth be told,
1265
00:44:33,957 --> 00:44:36,856
buying a house
is a big investment.
1266
00:44:36,857 --> 00:44:38,123
Yeah, that is the truth.
1267
00:44:38,124 --> 00:44:39,991
That is the truth.
And it hurts, you know?
1268
00:44:39,992 --> 00:44:41,524
I can
see that.
1269
00:44:41,525 --> 00:44:44,692
Never seen you
so torn up about money before.
1270
00:44:44,693 --> 00:44:47,525
We are putting in all of our
savings, but we're still short.
1271
00:44:47,526 --> 00:44:48,758
About $10,000.
1272
00:44:48,759 --> 00:44:51,092
Ten thousand dollars?
1273
00:44:51,093 --> 00:44:52,726
Who do you think I am,
weezy Jefferson?
1274
00:44:52,727 --> 00:44:53,893
God rest her soul.
1275
00:44:53,894 --> 00:44:57,627
But it's a beautiful
duplex, mama,
1276
00:44:57,628 --> 00:44:59,727
with a back yard and everything.
1277
00:44:59,728 --> 00:45:00,000
Right near the diner, even.
1278
00:45:00,001 --> 00:45:00,994
Right near the diner, even.
1279
00:45:00,995 --> 00:45:02,460
So, what do you think?
1280
00:45:02,461 --> 00:45:03,927
You should have married
Larry filmore.
1281
00:45:03,928 --> 00:45:05,661
He's taking over
the funeral parlor.
1282
00:45:05,662 --> 00:45:07,095
Aah! Bathroom!
1283
00:45:08,929 --> 00:45:10,728
Just give me some time
to marinate on it.
1284
00:45:10,729 --> 00:45:12,995
That's fair enough.
1285
00:45:12,996 --> 00:45:14,696
Is something
wrong with you?
1286
00:45:14,697 --> 00:45:15,729
You know, it's just
1287
00:45:15,730 --> 00:45:17,029
that we've been so worried
1288
00:45:17,030 --> 00:45:19,163
about asking you for the money
for the house,
1289
00:45:19,164 --> 00:45:23,663
and sharing a meal over it
is just a beautiful thing.
1290
00:45:23,664 --> 00:45:24,930
I'm ready for dessert.
Anybody?
1291
00:45:24,931 --> 00:45:26,464
Yeah. Mama brought a pie.
1292
00:45:26,465 --> 00:45:27,865
And mama's gonna go get it.
1293
00:45:28,865 --> 00:45:29,999
Mama's coming
to the kitchen?
1294
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:30,864
Mama's coming
to the kitchen?
1295
00:45:30,865 --> 00:45:32,465
Your mama's
going to the kitchen!
1296
00:45:32,466 --> 00:45:33,965
Tell the truth.
1297
00:45:33,966 --> 00:45:35,733
You're on the pipe,
aren't you, boy?
1298
00:45:37,500 --> 00:45:39,866
Oh, there it is!
1299
00:45:39,867 --> 00:45:43,001
My famous
apple crumble crisp pie!
1300
00:45:46,001 --> 00:45:46,968
Oh!
1301
00:45:49,535 --> 00:45:50,967
I don't even want to know.
1302
00:45:50,968 --> 00:45:51,901
Where do you keep
the paper towels?
1303
00:45:51,902 --> 00:45:53,135
Oh, right up under the...
1304
00:45:55,636 --> 00:45:56,935
We don't have any.
1305
00:45:56,936 --> 00:45:58,602
We, you know,
I don't believe in that,
1306
00:45:58,603 --> 00:45:59,999
with the rain forest
and everything.
1307
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:00,636
With the rain forest
and everything.
1308
00:46:00,637 --> 00:46:03,504
You know, there's something
really, really wrong with you.
1309
00:46:08,771 --> 00:46:09,737
Where's the dog?
1310
00:46:09,738 --> 00:46:11,105
He's right there.
1311
00:46:16,139 --> 00:46:17,905
Look, we gotta go right now.
1312
00:46:17,906 --> 00:46:18,806
They said if we don't
get there by 9,
1313
00:46:18,807 --> 00:46:20,105
we can't race.
1314
00:46:20,106 --> 00:46:22,872
They're not going
to let me leave right now.
1315
00:46:22,873 --> 00:46:24,673
Ralph, come join us
for dessert!
1316
00:46:24,674 --> 00:46:27,040
Okay, babe. I'll be in there
in just a second.
1317
00:46:27,041 --> 00:46:28,740
The pilot light
went out.
1318
00:46:28,741 --> 00:46:29,999
He's fixing the pilot.
1319
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:31,007
He's fixing the pilot.
1320
00:46:31,008 --> 00:46:32,441
He's handy.
1321
00:46:32,442 --> 00:46:33,641
How do we get out of here?
1322
00:46:33,642 --> 00:46:35,176
The fire escape.
1323
00:46:37,042 --> 00:46:38,642
Oh, hell, no.
1324
00:46:38,643 --> 00:46:40,942
Boy, you coming in here or not?
My pie's getting stale.
1325
00:46:40,943 --> 00:46:42,476
Damn.
1326
00:46:43,576 --> 00:46:44,742
I got another riddle
for you.
1327
00:46:44,743 --> 00:46:46,076
What's lighter
than a feather,
1328
00:46:46,077 --> 00:46:49,643
but yet the strongest man
can't hold it very long?
1329
00:46:49,644 --> 00:46:51,043
Not now, Norton, okay?
1330
00:46:51,044 --> 00:46:52,976
I'm trying not to break
my neck up here.
1331
00:46:52,977 --> 00:46:54,610
Come on. What's lighter
than a feather--?
1332
00:46:54,611 --> 00:46:55,977
Your breath.
1333
00:46:55,978 --> 00:46:57,811
Wow, you a genius!
1334
00:46:57,812 --> 00:46:59,044
Ralph?
1335
00:46:59,045 --> 00:46:59,999
Almost got it, babe.
1336
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:00,012
Almost got it, babe.
1337
00:47:00,013 --> 00:47:01,912
I'll be right there.
1338
00:47:01,913 --> 00:47:04,579
Are you sure
this thing can hold us?
1339
00:47:04,580 --> 00:47:07,014
We come down this
all the time, Ralph.
1340
00:47:08,947 --> 00:47:10,014
Oh, man!
1341
00:47:11,381 --> 00:47:12,979
Norton, you know
I hate heights.
1342
00:47:12,980 --> 00:47:14,413
Come on, Ralph.
1343
00:47:14,414 --> 00:47:16,381
You can do it.
1344
00:47:16,382 --> 00:47:17,848
Just chill, man.
I'll help you.
1345
00:47:18,981 --> 00:47:20,414
I can't, man.
1346
00:47:20,415 --> 00:47:21,981
I ain't gonna be able
to do this, man.
1347
00:47:21,982 --> 00:47:23,948
Ralph, you're gonna
get us busted!
1348
00:47:23,949 --> 00:47:25,415
Go slow.
1349
00:47:25,416 --> 00:47:26,982
Aaah!
Whoa, whoa.
1350
00:47:26,983 --> 00:47:28,882
Hold on, Ralph.
Come on, Ralph.
1351
00:47:28,883 --> 00:47:29,999
What's the noise, man?
1352
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:30,716
What's the noise, man?
1353
00:47:30,717 --> 00:47:32,450
Come on. Come on.
1354
00:47:32,451 --> 00:47:33,750
I'm cool, right?
1355
00:47:33,751 --> 00:47:35,550
I'm good. Everything--
See, Ralph?
1356
00:47:35,551 --> 00:47:36,550
It ain't that bad.
1357
00:47:36,551 --> 00:47:37,751
Everything--
1358
00:47:38,951 --> 00:47:40,051
Jesus!
1359
00:47:47,319 --> 00:47:49,418
- You see anything?
- No.
1360
00:47:49,419 --> 00:47:51,720
Now, where'd that crazy husband
of yours run off to?
1361
00:47:51,721 --> 00:47:53,453
You know, mom,
I think he said something
1362
00:47:53,454 --> 00:47:54,786
about a meeting
at the lodge tonight.
1363
00:47:54,787 --> 00:47:57,420
Ooh!
1364
00:47:57,421 --> 00:47:59,688
Oh, well,
that's more dessert for us.
1365
00:48:02,988 --> 00:48:06,922
Ralph, I gotta confess
something to you.
1366
00:48:06,923 --> 00:48:08,755
Man, just hold on.
We gonna die!
1367
00:48:08,756 --> 00:48:09,922
I gotta get my life
right with the lord.
1368
00:48:09,923 --> 00:48:12,923
One day, I was
coming down there
1369
00:48:12,924 --> 00:48:15,556
to get some milk from y'all
on the fire escape,
1370
00:48:15,557 --> 00:48:17,324
and I seen Alice naked.
1371
00:48:18,725 --> 00:48:19,623
I ain't lyin'.
1372
00:48:19,624 --> 00:48:21,724
And sometimes...
1373
00:48:21,725 --> 00:48:22,991
I think about her.
1374
00:48:24,325 --> 00:48:25,325
You--
1375
00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:37,627
Ah!
1376
00:48:39,627 --> 00:48:40,760
I forgot my keys.
1377
00:48:40,761 --> 00:48:42,359
Yeah, right.
1378
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:43,960
Hey, I'm not going
to lie to you, man.
1379
00:48:43,961 --> 00:48:45,661
I'm having problems, okay?
1380
00:48:45,662 --> 00:48:47,494
My wife left me.
1381
00:48:47,495 --> 00:48:49,761
Technically, she's not my wife,
she's somebody else's.
1382
00:48:49,762 --> 00:48:51,028
But the pain lingers
all the same,
1383
00:48:51,029 --> 00:48:52,062
you know what I mean?
1384
00:48:53,029 --> 00:48:54,462
Duck, duck, duck!
1385
00:48:54,463 --> 00:48:56,995
What you mean, "duck"?
What's going on?
1386
00:48:56,996 --> 00:48:59,730
It's okay. It's all right.
No problem. He didn't see us.
1387
00:48:59,731 --> 00:49:00,000
Are we breaking
in here?
1388
00:49:00,001 --> 00:49:00,996
Are we breaking
in here?
1389
00:49:00,997 --> 00:49:02,696
We not breaking in.
1390
00:49:02,697 --> 00:49:04,796
Why you profiling me, baby?
Why you profiling me?
1391
00:49:04,797 --> 00:49:06,397
It's a competitive business!
1392
00:49:06,398 --> 00:49:08,364
I don't want other trainers
to steal my secrets!
1393
00:49:11,466 --> 00:49:12,598
Okay, fellas.
1394
00:49:12,599 --> 00:49:14,765
Dog racing
is about show business,
1395
00:49:14,766 --> 00:49:15,865
and the show counts.
1396
00:49:15,866 --> 00:49:17,466
And it starts the minute
1397
00:49:17,467 --> 00:49:19,432
you walk your dog
onto the battlefield.
1398
00:49:19,433 --> 00:49:20,667
And this is the walk.
1399
00:49:23,633 --> 00:49:25,633
Brisk. Brisk. Brisk. Brisk.
Brisk. Brisk.
1400
00:49:25,634 --> 00:49:27,467
Arms down, arms down,
arms down.
1401
00:49:27,468 --> 00:49:29,500
Confidence. Don't be arrogant.
Don't be arrogant.
1402
00:49:29,501 --> 00:49:30,000
It's not a tug of war.
It's not a tug of war.
1403
00:49:30,001 --> 00:49:32,768
It's not a tug of war.
It's not a tug of war.
1404
00:49:32,769 --> 00:49:34,634
Watch out! Watch out!
Get the dog! Get the dog!
1405
00:49:34,635 --> 00:49:35,635
Get the dog! Get the dog!
1406
00:49:36,802 --> 00:49:39,602
There you go. Good boy.
1407
00:49:39,603 --> 00:49:41,469
He's great, man, great.
Six-five pounds.
1408
00:49:41,470 --> 00:49:43,769
Less than 4 percent body fat.
1409
00:49:43,770 --> 00:49:45,703
All musc-les. Yeah.
1410
00:49:45,704 --> 00:49:48,003
You know, I had
a French aerobics teacher.
1411
00:49:48,004 --> 00:49:50,537
Leslie was her name.
Just like that, really flexible,
1412
00:49:50,538 --> 00:49:53,572
except not enough soft places,
you know what I'm saying? Right?
1413
00:49:56,872 --> 00:49:58,472
Okay, for iggy
to be competitive,
1414
00:49:58,473 --> 00:49:59,999
he's gotta run
at least a 32.30.
1415
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:00,473
He's gotta run
at least a 32.30.
1416
00:50:00,474 --> 00:50:01,772
This is
the moment of truth, fellas.
1417
00:50:01,773 --> 00:50:04,439
Ralph, Eddie, you ready?
1418
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:05,607
Three! Two! One!
1419
00:50:08,841 --> 00:50:10,507
All right, fellas.
1420
00:50:10,508 --> 00:50:13,307
We run into a couple problems.
Nothing minor.
1421
00:50:13,308 --> 00:50:15,241
I gotta train
his mind.
1422
00:50:15,242 --> 00:50:18,441
That's it, iggy. Relax. Relax.
That's it.
1423
00:50:18,442 --> 00:50:19,575
Good boy.
1424
00:50:19,576 --> 00:50:20,909
Breathe.
1425
00:50:22,609 --> 00:50:23,743
Breathe. That's it.
1426
00:50:36,178 --> 00:50:37,643
You know, my parents find it
1427
00:50:37,644 --> 00:50:38,910
really difficult
to explain to people
1428
00:50:38,911 --> 00:50:40,911
what I do for a living.
Hm.
1429
00:50:40,912 --> 00:50:44,645
Iggy, you are one of
the most ancient canine breeds.
1430
00:50:44,646 --> 00:50:46,212
The pharaoh's favorite.
1431
00:50:46,213 --> 00:50:48,879
The Greek king's son.
1432
00:50:48,880 --> 00:50:50,612
You're a born winner.
A born winner, boy.
1433
00:50:50,613 --> 00:50:51,481
Live up to it.
1434
00:50:58,749 --> 00:50:59,999
I... I don't know.
I don't know.
1435
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:01,240
I... I don't know.
I don't know.
1436
00:51:01,949 --> 00:51:05,348
- Listen to me, pooch.
- Okay? I'm talking to you!
1437
00:51:05,349 --> 00:51:06,882
Nobody quits on Tony Montana,
you hear me?
1438
00:51:06,883 --> 00:51:08,849
You're a dog.
1439
00:51:08,850 --> 00:51:11,583
It's a racetrack.
1440
00:51:11,584 --> 00:51:13,182
You can win this thing!
1441
00:51:13,183 --> 00:51:15,150
Iggy, baby,
you listen to me.
1442
00:51:15,151 --> 00:51:16,583
I'm not who you think I am.
1443
00:51:16,584 --> 00:51:18,450
I'm not the best trainer
in the world.
1444
00:51:18,451 --> 00:51:20,250
I started out with nothing
and I still got most of it left.
1445
00:51:20,251 --> 00:51:22,450
They wanted me to get you
pregnant by a pit bull.
1446
00:51:22,451 --> 00:51:24,184
Iggy!
1447
00:51:24,185 --> 00:51:26,284
Look at me
when I'm talking to you!
1448
00:51:26,285 --> 00:51:28,152
Your dogs would've had
little bodies with big heads,
1449
00:51:28,153 --> 00:51:29,999
just walking
down the street like this.
1450
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:30,386
Just walking
down the street like this.
1451
00:51:30,387 --> 00:51:34,219
You could have been a contender,
but instead, you're a bum!
1452
00:51:34,220 --> 00:51:36,753
You win that race,
you get the power,
1453
00:51:36,754 --> 00:51:38,221
and then you get the bitches!
1454
00:51:39,488 --> 00:51:40,588
Oh, yeah,
so many bitches.
1455
00:51:47,222 --> 00:51:50,122
All right, fellas,
the dog's a straight-up dud.
1456
00:51:50,123 --> 00:51:51,722
What? A dud?
Who you calling a dud?
1457
00:51:51,723 --> 00:51:53,188
What do you mean?
1458
00:51:53,189 --> 00:51:54,188
You're a trainer.
Train the dog.
1459
00:51:54,189 --> 00:51:55,622
I've seen this dog move.
1460
00:51:55,623 --> 00:51:58,456
I've seen him move too.
You're a dud! Iggy!
1461
00:51:58,457 --> 00:51:59,999
Were you drinking at the time
when you saw him move?
1462
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:00,757
Were you drinking at the time
when you saw him move?
1463
00:52:00,758 --> 00:52:03,590
Iggy, it's not that hard.
1464
00:52:03,591 --> 00:52:04,492
Watch this.
1465
00:52:06,792 --> 00:52:08,257
Let me think about it.
1466
00:52:08,258 --> 00:52:10,624
Let me just think,
let me think.
1467
00:52:10,625 --> 00:52:12,492
I got it. I got it.
1468
00:52:12,493 --> 00:52:14,859
Why don't we Nancy kerrigan
the other dogs?
1469
00:52:14,860 --> 00:52:16,792
You mean hit the dogs
in the knee?
1470
00:52:16,793 --> 00:52:18,659
No, just the back, the hind legs.
No.
1471
00:52:18,660 --> 00:52:20,259
All right, that's a little
too aggressive for you?
1472
00:52:20,260 --> 00:52:22,193
Don't worry about it.
Vitamins?
1473
00:52:22,194 --> 00:52:24,427
A little stronger than that.
It works for me.
1474
00:52:24,428 --> 00:52:26,327
Nobody needs to know.
They don't screen dogs.
1475
00:52:26,328 --> 00:52:27,494
They don't?
1476
00:52:27,495 --> 00:52:28,393
No, no.
1477
00:52:28,394 --> 00:52:29,999
It's just between
you and me.
1478
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:30,229
It's just between
you and me.
1479
00:52:30,230 --> 00:52:31,728
What'd you get?
1480
00:52:31,729 --> 00:52:33,328
That was fast.
1481
00:52:33,329 --> 00:52:34,829
Hey, nice lap,
Norton.
1482
00:52:35,829 --> 00:52:38,195
Eddie.
Eddie, what do you think?
1483
00:52:38,196 --> 00:52:40,630
I don't know how we gonna
get this dog to run.
1484
00:52:58,433 --> 00:52:59,665
Whoo!
1485
00:52:59,666 --> 00:53:00,000
Check that out.
1486
00:53:00,001 --> 00:53:00,700
Check that out.
1487
00:53:04,067 --> 00:53:06,700
Hey, boss. Psst. Check that out.
1488
00:53:06,701 --> 00:53:09,433
You're impressed at it,
ain't you?
1489
00:53:09,434 --> 00:53:11,300
He's in.
1490
00:53:11,301 --> 00:53:13,334
Yeah!
1491
00:53:13,335 --> 00:53:16,301
Assuming you have
all the proper paperwork.
1492
00:53:16,302 --> 00:53:18,635
You bring it to the owners
party here tomorrow night.
1493
00:53:18,636 --> 00:53:20,201
Not a problem.
1494
00:53:20,202 --> 00:53:21,568
We'll have that
paperwork for you.
1495
00:53:21,569 --> 00:53:23,568
We will definitely have
the paperwork tomorrow.
1496
00:53:23,569 --> 00:53:25,169
What paperwork?
1497
00:53:25,170 --> 00:53:26,603
It's the dog's paperwork,
1498
00:53:26,604 --> 00:53:28,170
documenting
authenticity of line,
1499
00:53:28,171 --> 00:53:29,569
license to race,
proof of insurance,
1500
00:53:29,570 --> 00:53:30,000
membership in
1501
00:53:30,001 --> 00:53:30,803
membership in
1502
00:53:30,804 --> 00:53:32,370
the greyhound association
of amer--
1503
00:53:32,371 --> 00:53:34,103
Oh, wow.
All the things you ain't got.
1504
00:53:34,104 --> 00:53:36,071
We can get it.
No, you can't.
1505
00:53:36,072 --> 00:53:37,804
There's a three-week hold
on the license alone.
1506
00:53:37,805 --> 00:53:40,204
- Damn.
- But you know what?
1507
00:53:40,205 --> 00:53:42,505
'Cause you're my friends,
I'll expedite it for $600
1508
00:53:42,506 --> 00:53:44,738
and you'll get it by tomorrow.
$600? No, no.
1509
00:53:44,739 --> 00:53:47,706
You already charged us
for the kennel, the dog leash,
1510
00:53:47,707 --> 00:53:49,206
$60 for puppy chow!
1511
00:53:49,207 --> 00:53:51,673
That was
pedigree puppy chow, man.
1512
00:53:51,674 --> 00:53:53,039
Come on.
I got overhead.
1513
00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:54,041
All right, $300.
1514
00:53:57,674 --> 00:53:59,040
Excuse me.
1515
00:53:59,041 --> 00:53:59,999
Are you the health inspector?
1516
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:01,041
Are you the health inspector?
1517
00:54:01,042 --> 00:54:03,041
Look, nice and clean. Spotless.
1518
00:54:03,042 --> 00:54:05,375
No, no, no. I need to speak
to Alice kramden, please.
1519
00:54:05,376 --> 00:54:07,175
Oh, Alice is busy.
1520
00:54:07,176 --> 00:54:10,276
Excuse me?
Do you know who I am?
1521
00:54:10,277 --> 00:54:13,143
Uh, no. No.
You know who I am?
1522
00:54:13,144 --> 00:54:16,110
I was born
in a one-bedroom farmhouse
1523
00:54:16,111 --> 00:54:18,077
with five brothers who I raised.
1524
00:54:18,078 --> 00:54:20,210
I was born in China
88 years ago
1525
00:54:20,211 --> 00:54:21,477
in a Chinese rice field.
1526
00:54:21,478 --> 00:54:23,111
I served my country in Vietnam,
1527
00:54:23,112 --> 00:54:24,744
where I was
a golden gloves champion
1528
00:54:24,745 --> 00:54:26,411
three years running.
1529
00:54:26,412 --> 00:54:28,745
Before, when I come,
my English not good-looking,
1530
00:54:28,746 --> 00:54:29,645
but now I speak perfect.
1531
00:54:29,646 --> 00:54:30,000
I raised six kids.
1532
00:54:30,001 --> 00:54:31,579
I raised six kids.
1533
00:54:31,580 --> 00:54:33,212
Buried two husbands.
1534
00:54:33,213 --> 00:54:35,013
And am on the lookout
for number three.
1535
00:54:35,014 --> 00:54:36,646
Can I call you next week?
1536
00:54:36,647 --> 00:54:37,980
What?
1537
00:54:37,981 --> 00:54:39,580
Mama, what are you doing here?
1538
00:54:39,581 --> 00:54:42,680
Oh, hi, baby.
1539
00:54:42,681 --> 00:54:46,182
I just thought
I'd drop this off in person.
1540
00:54:47,582 --> 00:54:49,414
Thank you!
1541
00:54:49,415 --> 00:54:50,715
Thank you!
1542
00:54:50,716 --> 00:54:52,182
You're welcome!
Thank you!
1543
00:54:52,183 --> 00:54:54,749
Trix, we got the money
for the house!
1544
00:54:54,750 --> 00:54:56,250
I can't believe it.
1545
00:54:56,251 --> 00:54:57,350
I didn't think you were
gonna do it.
1546
00:54:57,351 --> 00:54:59,316
Well, I was skeptical.
1547
00:54:59,317 --> 00:54:59,999
But Ralph seemed
so genuinely worried about it,
1548
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:01,416
but Ralph seemed
so genuinely worried about it,
1549
00:55:01,417 --> 00:55:03,483
I figured
maybe he's just coming around.
1550
00:55:03,484 --> 00:55:05,684
Yeah, maybe he is.
1551
00:55:05,685 --> 00:55:06,684
Thank you, mama!
1552
00:55:06,685 --> 00:55:08,086
Oh, you're welcome.
1553
00:55:15,653 --> 00:55:18,052
Once this is leveled,
it will make a nice entry
1554
00:55:18,053 --> 00:55:19,319
to the underground
parking.
1555
00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:21,287
Excuse me
a moment.
1556
00:55:23,554 --> 00:55:25,320
Here to reconsider my offer?
1557
00:55:25,321 --> 00:55:27,687
I'm actually here
to give Mrs. b some news.
1558
00:55:27,688 --> 00:55:28,654
Some really good news.
1559
00:55:28,655 --> 00:55:29,999
Well, she's not here.
1560
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:30,954
Well, she's not here.
1561
00:55:30,955 --> 00:55:32,622
Please share it with me.
1562
00:55:32,623 --> 00:55:33,588
I'd love to.
1563
00:55:33,589 --> 00:55:34,688
We're gonna own this place.
1564
00:55:34,689 --> 00:55:36,522
Yeah.
1565
00:55:36,523 --> 00:55:39,055
Ed and trixie upstairs,
and me and Ralph down.
1566
00:55:39,056 --> 00:55:41,689
Ralph...?
1567
00:55:41,690 --> 00:55:44,424
Ralph, my husband.
Oh.
1568
00:55:45,424 --> 00:55:47,190
What? What's so funny?
I'm sorry.
1569
00:55:47,191 --> 00:55:48,924
It's just, you know,
come Monday,
1570
00:55:48,925 --> 00:55:50,492
you'll be trespassing.
1571
00:55:52,925 --> 00:55:54,358
Tell me this.
1572
00:55:54,359 --> 00:55:56,292
If there's no money
in her account,
1573
00:55:56,293 --> 00:55:59,125
then why is this waitress
hanging around my property?
1574
00:55:59,126 --> 00:55:59,999
Sir, I told you. I checked.
1575
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:01,592
Sir, I told you. I checked.
1576
00:56:01,593 --> 00:56:02,959
They have nothing.
1577
00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:04,659
No, they've got something, chip.
1578
00:56:04,660 --> 00:56:07,160
They've got something,
somewhere.
1579
00:56:07,161 --> 00:56:09,593
Find out
what the husband is up to.
1580
00:56:09,594 --> 00:56:10,995
Ralph kramden.
1581
00:56:13,896 --> 00:56:15,427
That woman
I was telling you about?
1582
00:56:15,428 --> 00:56:17,195
Her name is marlena.
1583
00:56:17,196 --> 00:56:20,262
She's puerto rican.
1584
00:56:20,263 --> 00:56:23,296
My god. I've tried
to talk to her, but...
1585
00:56:23,297 --> 00:56:25,263
Words won't come.
1586
00:56:25,264 --> 00:56:27,062
I can tell you
a thing or two about women,
1587
00:56:27,063 --> 00:56:28,130
that's if
you're ready to hear it.
1588
00:56:28,131 --> 00:56:29,429
It all begins with
1589
00:56:29,430 --> 00:56:29,999
letting her know who's boss.
1590
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:31,564
Letting her know who's boss.
1591
00:56:31,565 --> 00:56:33,165
Very important.
1592
00:56:35,465 --> 00:56:38,064
Alice.
What are you doing here?
1593
00:56:38,065 --> 00:56:39,565
I just came from the bank.
1594
00:56:39,566 --> 00:56:41,331
It's a funny story.
You wanna hear it?
1595
00:56:41,332 --> 00:56:43,166
Let her know
who's boss, Ralph!
1596
00:56:43,167 --> 00:56:44,566
Uh, look...
1597
00:56:44,567 --> 00:56:46,566
I can explain.
1598
00:56:46,567 --> 00:56:47,599
Oh, can you?
1599
00:56:47,600 --> 00:56:49,267
Can you now?
1600
00:56:49,268 --> 00:56:50,599
I tell the bank
I want to withdraw $4000,
1601
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:52,100
and they tell me
1602
00:56:52,101 --> 00:56:53,500
not only
is our account empty,
1603
00:56:53,501 --> 00:56:55,034
but here's the punch line:
1604
00:56:55,035 --> 00:56:57,967
We're overdrawn
by $223.60.
1605
00:56:57,968 --> 00:56:59,301
Whoa, whoa, the bank said that?
1606
00:56:59,302 --> 00:56:59,999
No, no, there's gotta be
a mistake, baby,
1607
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:02,269
no, no, there's gotta be
a mistake, baby,
1608
00:57:02,270 --> 00:57:04,635
'cause I don't know nothing
about no 60 cents.
1609
00:57:04,636 --> 00:57:06,602
Where's the money, Ralph?
1610
00:57:06,603 --> 00:57:09,170
I can explain, all right?
1611
00:57:09,171 --> 00:57:10,602
But, you know...
1612
00:57:10,603 --> 00:57:13,436
Taken out of context,
it might sound a little crazy.
1613
00:57:13,437 --> 00:57:14,871
Try me.
1614
00:57:17,238 --> 00:57:20,237
Norton and I found a train
in the sewer, see--
1615
00:57:20,238 --> 00:57:22,006
I want you out
of the apartment, Ralph.
1616
00:57:23,572 --> 00:57:24,572
Hold on!
1617
00:57:24,573 --> 00:57:25,572
Babe! Wait a minute!
1618
00:57:25,573 --> 00:57:27,305
Listen! Listen!
1619
00:57:27,306 --> 00:57:29,273
And then we got this dog
out of the dumpster--
1620
00:57:29,274 --> 00:57:29,999
I don't want to hear it!
1621
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:30,539
I don't want to hear it!
1622
00:57:30,540 --> 00:57:31,606
I'm done.
1623
00:57:31,607 --> 00:57:33,373
Come on, baby,
just 24 more hours, okay?
1624
00:57:33,374 --> 00:57:35,973
Twenty-four more hours
and then we can get on
1625
00:57:35,974 --> 00:57:38,174
to the life
we both dreamed of.
1626
00:57:38,175 --> 00:57:40,140
And what life
is that, Ralph? Huh?
1627
00:57:40,141 --> 00:57:42,208
You've always been so obsessed
with your own dreams
1628
00:57:42,209 --> 00:57:43,607
that you never even
bothered with mine.
1629
00:57:43,608 --> 00:57:45,475
How can you say that?
1630
00:57:45,476 --> 00:57:47,508
I want the house
just as much as you do!
1631
00:57:47,509 --> 00:57:50,176
Then why haven't you
been by to see it?
1632
00:57:50,177 --> 00:57:51,477
'Cause...
1633
00:57:53,911 --> 00:57:56,377
I mean...
1634
00:57:56,378 --> 00:57:59,477
Because you're selfish,
Ralph kramden.
1635
00:57:59,478 --> 00:57:59,999
And I'm done
playing the fool.
1636
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:01,278
And I'm done
playing the fool.
1637
00:58:08,412 --> 00:58:11,112
Come on,
move it, all right!
1638
00:58:11,113 --> 00:58:12,546
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Whatever!
1639
00:58:12,547 --> 00:58:15,479
Go ahead! Be my guest!
1640
00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:16,413
The trouble is yours!
1641
00:58:44,084 --> 00:58:46,017
Luckily for me, man,
I'm nearsighted,
1642
00:58:46,018 --> 00:58:47,317
so I can date
just about anybody.
1643
00:58:47,318 --> 00:58:48,884
I understand
what you're saying.
1644
00:58:48,885 --> 00:58:50,051
Like I'm dating
this lady right now,
1645
00:58:50,052 --> 00:58:51,984
she's about 40,
40-plus, whatever.
1646
00:58:51,985 --> 00:58:53,485
I don't want to marry
her for her money,
1647
00:58:53,486 --> 00:58:55,052
but I don't know
how else to get it,
1648
00:58:55,053 --> 00:58:56,752
you know
what I'm saying?
1649
00:58:56,753 --> 00:58:58,752
You know, someday,
1650
00:58:58,753 --> 00:58:59,999
I'm gonna find somebody special
who's not gonna press charges.
1651
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:01,486
I'm gonna find somebody special
who's not gonna press charges.
1652
00:59:01,487 --> 00:59:02,753
There he is!
1653
00:59:02,754 --> 00:59:03,787
Finally!
1654
00:59:06,822 --> 00:59:07,755
Hey, keep it close.
1655
00:59:08,788 --> 00:59:09,821
Ralphie boy!
1656
00:59:09,822 --> 00:59:10,921
What are you wearing?
1657
00:59:10,922 --> 00:59:12,321
This is a a-list party.
1658
00:59:12,322 --> 00:59:15,189
You got d-list all over you,
man. Look at me.
1659
00:59:15,190 --> 00:59:17,888
I'm wearing new underwear, even.
Well, they're new to me, anyway.
1660
00:59:17,889 --> 00:59:19,289
Look, I couldn't change.
1661
00:59:19,290 --> 00:59:20,289
Alice kicked me out
of the house.
1662
00:59:20,290 --> 00:59:21,289
Again?
1663
00:59:21,290 --> 00:59:23,290
She found out about the money.
1664
00:59:23,291 --> 00:59:25,156
And mad in a mug
about the house.
1665
00:59:25,157 --> 00:59:26,323
It's serious.
1666
00:59:26,324 --> 00:59:28,090
Don't worry about it, Ralph.
1667
00:59:28,091 --> 00:59:29,757
Tomorrow, when iggy's
in that winner's circle,
1668
00:59:29,758 --> 00:59:30,000
we gonna get paid,
1669
00:59:30,001 --> 00:59:31,124
we gonna get paid,
1670
00:59:31,125 --> 00:59:33,457
and the money will
buy the girls the house.
1671
00:59:33,458 --> 00:59:35,224
Yeah, maybe you're right.
1672
00:59:35,225 --> 00:59:37,292
You got the paperwork
for Kirby?
1673
00:59:37,293 --> 00:59:39,091
I never disappoint 'cause
I'm always on-point, baby.
1674
00:59:39,092 --> 00:59:40,392
Then let's do this.
1675
00:59:40,393 --> 00:59:42,392
Ralph, they're not
going to let you in
1676
00:59:42,393 --> 00:59:43,992
dressed like a thug.
1677
00:59:43,993 --> 00:59:46,193
What thug drives a bus?
1678
00:59:46,194 --> 00:59:47,894
Besides, where am I gonna
find a suit?
1679
00:59:53,228 --> 00:59:55,360
Man, Ralph, you're looking
real temptation-like
1680
00:59:55,361 --> 00:59:57,028
in that suit.
1681
00:59:57,029 --> 00:59:58,794
I know you ain't
trying to jone
1682
00:59:58,795 --> 00:59:59,999
looking like
the last blues brother.
1683
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:00,196
Looking like
the last blues brother.
1684
01:00:00,197 --> 01:00:02,029
Man, you look great.
Like a plucked sunflower.
1685
01:00:02,030 --> 01:00:03,262
Girls love flowers, man.
1686
01:00:03,263 --> 01:00:05,895
Oh, wow, I love all your stuff.
1687
01:00:05,896 --> 01:00:07,296
I really, really do.
1688
01:00:07,297 --> 01:00:09,263
What stuff is she
talking about, Ralph?
1689
01:00:09,264 --> 01:00:10,263
I have no idea.
1690
01:00:10,264 --> 01:00:11,896
You guys are great.
1691
01:00:11,897 --> 01:00:13,130
Looking forward to it.
1692
01:00:13,131 --> 01:00:14,430
What is going on here?
1693
01:00:14,431 --> 01:00:16,298
They must know
we own iggy.
1694
01:00:16,299 --> 01:00:18,331
I'm telling you, that
dog's a winner, Ralph.
1695
01:00:18,332 --> 01:00:20,399
Well-- hey, let's find Kirby.
Right, right, right.
1696
01:00:21,432 --> 01:00:23,133
You kill me!
1697
01:00:24,866 --> 01:00:27,465
Hey, Mr. Kirby.
How are you?
1698
01:00:27,466 --> 01:00:29,999
Well, I'm fine.
I'm fine, Mr. kramden.
1699
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:30,267
Well, I'm fine.
I'm fine, Mr. kramden.
1700
01:00:30,268 --> 01:00:32,166
That is quite a suit.
1701
01:00:32,167 --> 01:00:34,233
You dig that suit, huh?
1702
01:00:34,234 --> 01:00:37,167
It would suit you, but I'm out
of the banana. I got pumpkin.
1703
01:00:37,168 --> 01:00:39,034
Pumpkin? You didn't say nothing
about no pumpkin.
1704
01:00:39,035 --> 01:00:40,835
Mr. Kirby,
I've got the paperwork
1705
01:00:40,836 --> 01:00:43,035
for iggy to be
in the race tomorrow.
1706
01:00:43,036 --> 01:00:45,168
Iggy won't be in the race.
He's been scratched.
1707
01:00:45,169 --> 01:00:46,836
Scratched? What do
you mean, scratched?!
1708
01:00:46,837 --> 01:00:48,368
Scratched?
Man, what the--?
1709
01:00:48,369 --> 01:00:50,169
I bribed the top people!
I went through procedure
1710
01:00:50,170 --> 01:00:51,902
to get this through.
Come on.
1711
01:00:51,903 --> 01:00:54,036
I'll be perfectly honest
with you.
1712
01:00:54,037 --> 01:00:55,903
You see,
my new friend over there
1713
01:00:55,904 --> 01:00:58,003
has just paid
a good amount of cash
1714
01:00:58,004 --> 01:00:59,999
to keep your dog
out of the race.
1715
01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:00,038
To keep your dog
out of the race.
1716
01:01:00,039 --> 01:01:01,270
Here we go.
1717
01:01:01,271 --> 01:01:02,804
Wait a minute, who is this guy?
1718
01:01:02,805 --> 01:01:04,671
William Davis.
1719
01:01:04,672 --> 01:01:06,271
I don't believe
we've had the pleasure.
1720
01:01:06,272 --> 01:01:07,905
No, we haven't
had the pleasure.
1721
01:01:07,906 --> 01:01:09,306
'Cause if we had
been pleasured,
1722
01:01:09,307 --> 01:01:11,673
I think
we'd have knowed about it.
1723
01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:14,339
Shh.
Better if you don't talk, man.
1724
01:01:14,340 --> 01:01:15,807
Davis.
1725
01:01:16,874 --> 01:01:18,040
"Davis properties" Davis?
1726
01:01:18,041 --> 01:01:19,774
That's right.
1727
01:01:19,775 --> 01:01:21,640
That's the one
trixie was talking about.
1728
01:01:21,641 --> 01:01:23,275
And you are...?
1729
01:01:25,842 --> 01:01:28,042
Ralph kramden.
1730
01:01:28,043 --> 01:01:29,641
Oh, yes.
1731
01:01:29,642 --> 01:01:30,000
Well, it's just business.
1732
01:01:30,001 --> 01:01:31,708
Well, it's just business.
1733
01:01:31,709 --> 01:01:33,276
Nothing personal.
1734
01:01:35,910 --> 01:01:37,176
How's it just pers--?
1735
01:01:37,177 --> 01:01:39,009
It's just business?
1736
01:01:39,010 --> 01:01:40,877
And since our business is over,
1737
01:01:40,878 --> 01:01:42,743
why don't you stay,
enjoy the buffet,
1738
01:01:42,744 --> 01:01:44,077
and buy yourselves
some drinks.
1739
01:01:44,078 --> 01:01:45,877
You raw, man.
Come on, Mr. Kirby.
1740
01:01:45,878 --> 01:01:47,744
- Boss, it's me.
- Boss, talk to me, baby!
1741
01:01:47,745 --> 01:01:49,811
That was
a police move, man.
1742
01:01:49,812 --> 01:01:51,645
Let it go, let it go.
1743
01:01:51,646 --> 01:01:53,245
"Let it go"?
Just let it go.
1744
01:01:53,246 --> 01:01:54,912
I'm here looking
like a rubber ducky
1745
01:01:54,913 --> 01:01:56,179
and you're talking about
letting it go?
1746
01:01:56,180 --> 01:01:58,313
Come on,
let's have a little free punch.
1747
01:01:58,314 --> 01:01:59,613
It's on me.
1748
01:01:59,614 --> 01:02:00,000
Lighten things up
a little bit,
1749
01:02:00,001 --> 01:02:01,246
lighten things up
a little bit,
1750
01:02:01,247 --> 01:02:02,713
'cause I've been thinking
and thinking,
1751
01:02:02,714 --> 01:02:04,081
and it doesn't look good.
1752
01:02:05,281 --> 01:02:07,180
And it doesn't smell good.
1753
01:02:07,181 --> 01:02:09,781
Those shrimps got me
with the bubble-guts.
1754
01:02:09,782 --> 01:02:11,148
Look, Ralph. Ralph.
1755
01:02:11,149 --> 01:02:13,248
You can't be hating on
Kirby, man. You can't.
1756
01:02:13,249 --> 01:02:15,248
He's a self-made businessman,
just like you and me.
1757
01:02:15,249 --> 01:02:17,049
He started out with $5000,
1758
01:02:17,050 --> 01:02:19,015
and now he's 2 or 3 million
dollars in debt.
1759
01:02:19,016 --> 01:02:20,816
You gotta admire that.
I ain't got no taste,
1760
01:02:20,817 --> 01:02:22,749
but I gotta admire
that, you know?
1761
01:02:22,750 --> 01:02:24,116
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Ralph,
1762
01:02:24,117 --> 01:02:25,750
but sometimes
the world is cold like that.
1763
01:02:25,751 --> 01:02:26,983
It is about
money sometimes.
1764
01:02:26,984 --> 01:02:29,184
Yeah, it's about money.
Pssh.
1765
01:02:29,185 --> 01:02:29,999
Look at Kirby.
He thought for one second
1766
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:32,017
look at Kirby.
He thought for one second
1767
01:02:32,018 --> 01:02:33,852
he can get paid with iggy,
1768
01:02:33,853 --> 01:02:35,685
we wouldn't even be
in this situation.
1769
01:02:35,686 --> 01:02:38,652
I have been looking
everywhere for you two.
1770
01:02:38,653 --> 01:02:40,219
Come on.
What's going on?
1771
01:02:40,220 --> 01:02:41,752
We're late, come on.
1772
01:02:41,753 --> 01:02:43,353
Late for what?
Who do you think we are?
1773
01:02:43,354 --> 01:02:45,186
Come on, Chang, everyone
knows your yellow suit.
1774
01:02:45,187 --> 01:02:47,119
Chang?
1775
01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:48,753
I'm excited
to finally meet you.
1776
01:02:48,754 --> 01:02:50,287
How many times I told you
not to call this number, huh?
1777
01:02:50,288 --> 01:02:52,321
Yeah. Why?
Why you gonna call the cops?
1778
01:02:52,322 --> 01:02:53,754
Why you gonna call the cops?
I was gonna be there.
1779
01:02:53,755 --> 01:02:55,021
I'll give you the money
on Friday.
1780
01:02:55,022 --> 01:02:56,288
Mom! Mom!
1781
01:02:56,289 --> 01:02:58,921
You were supposed to start
five minutes ago.
1782
01:02:58,922 --> 01:02:59,999
Get up there.
1783
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:00,256
Get up there.
1784
01:03:00,257 --> 01:03:02,156
Huh? What the--?
1785
01:03:02,157 --> 01:03:03,822
Now remember,
you're getting paid per set.
1786
01:03:03,823 --> 01:03:06,156
Okay, go on.
1787
01:03:06,157 --> 01:03:09,023
Well, she said
we was getting paid.
1788
01:03:09,024 --> 01:03:10,124
Go on ahead.
1789
01:03:18,892 --> 01:03:19,924
Hey.
1790
01:03:19,925 --> 01:03:21,258
Huh?
1791
01:03:21,259 --> 01:03:22,692
I have an idea.
1792
01:03:22,693 --> 01:03:23,758
What kind of idea?
1793
01:03:23,759 --> 01:03:25,626
Just follow my lead.
1794
01:03:25,627 --> 01:03:27,559
It's gonna be great.
1795
01:03:27,560 --> 01:03:29,061
Test. Testing.
1796
01:03:30,560 --> 01:03:32,093
Oh, yeah, this is great.
This is great.
1797
01:03:32,094 --> 01:03:33,293
One, two, three.
1798
01:03:33,294 --> 01:03:35,094
Oh, yeah.
Everybody follow me.
1799
01:03:35,095 --> 01:03:36,827
How are you, my man?
Good seeing you.
1800
01:03:36,828 --> 01:03:38,294
This is some party,
don't you think?
1801
01:03:38,295 --> 01:03:41,094
Beautiful people here,
uh, this evening.
1802
01:03:41,095 --> 01:03:43,195
Hey, listen...
1803
01:03:43,196 --> 01:03:45,195
How many dreamers,
by a show of hands, do we have?
1804
01:03:45,196 --> 01:03:47,763
Where are the dreamers?
All the dreamers?
1805
01:03:49,164 --> 01:03:50,729
All around there,
there's dreamers.
1806
01:03:50,730 --> 01:03:51,996
I'm a dreamer.
1807
01:03:51,997 --> 01:03:53,531
Hey, the dog.
1808
01:03:54,831 --> 01:03:56,731
Get the dog.
1809
01:03:59,665 --> 01:04:00,000
Right, I got it.
I got it, baby.
1810
01:04:00,001 --> 01:04:01,031
Right, I got it.
I got it, baby.
1811
01:04:01,032 --> 01:04:02,231
Get the dog.
1812
01:04:02,232 --> 01:04:04,731
I got this one.
Yeah, I...
1813
01:04:04,732 --> 01:04:06,098
You almost got me.
1814
01:04:06,099 --> 01:04:08,732
Well,
I, too, am a dreamer.
1815
01:04:08,733 --> 01:04:11,166
And I had a dream
that my dog would race
1816
01:04:11,167 --> 01:04:13,499
on this beautiful track
tomorrow afternoon.
1817
01:04:13,500 --> 01:04:15,033
But that dream just won't happen
1818
01:04:15,034 --> 01:04:16,666
because our dog
has been scratched
1819
01:04:16,667 --> 01:04:18,635
due to financial technicalities.
1820
01:04:40,037 --> 01:04:42,872
Eddie "left hand" Norton,
everybody! Wow!
1821
01:04:45,505 --> 01:04:47,671
What a surprise that is,
1822
01:04:47,672 --> 01:04:49,038
and you don't know
the half of it.
1823
01:04:49,039 --> 01:04:50,938
But Eddie's beautiful music
1824
01:04:50,939 --> 01:04:54,640
only underscores the fact
that my dog has been scratched.
1825
01:04:56,241 --> 01:04:58,873
Scratched on paper,
but not scratched in spirit.
1826
01:04:58,874 --> 01:04:59,999
Yeah.
1827
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:00,107
Yeah.
1828
01:05:00,108 --> 01:05:02,607
And then, uh--
And this man, dodge.
1829
01:05:02,608 --> 01:05:03,840
This is dodge, our trainer,
1830
01:05:03,841 --> 01:05:05,474
and, uh... come on.
1831
01:05:05,475 --> 01:05:08,708
This is dodge
and our dog, iggy.
1832
01:05:08,709 --> 01:05:12,008
And I know to look at him,
sure, he looks a little mangy,
1833
01:05:12,009 --> 01:05:14,709
and sickly looking
and in need of a bath,
1834
01:05:14,710 --> 01:05:15,643
but I tell you...
1835
01:05:16,910 --> 01:05:18,876
Iggy's a special dog.
1836
01:05:18,877 --> 01:05:21,710
You know,
we found iggy in a dumpster.
1837
01:05:21,711 --> 01:05:22,810
Damn near dead.
1838
01:05:22,811 --> 01:05:24,743
Hadn't eaten in days,
1839
01:05:24,744 --> 01:05:27,878
but like most underdogs,
iggy's a survivor.
1840
01:05:27,879 --> 01:05:29,999
Like seabiscuit, rocky,
destiny's child.
1841
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:30,811
Like seabiscuit, rocky,
destiny's child.
1842
01:05:30,812 --> 01:05:32,478
All survivors.
1843
01:05:32,479 --> 01:05:34,712
You know, I guess I'm just
saying this to say that.
1844
01:05:34,713 --> 01:05:36,411
Mr. Kirby, I don't know why
1845
01:05:36,412 --> 01:05:38,112
you're not letting our dog
race tomorrow,
1846
01:05:38,113 --> 01:05:41,079
but he's already a winner
in my book.
1847
01:05:41,080 --> 01:05:43,512
And I'll put money
on my dumpster dog
1848
01:05:43,513 --> 01:05:44,814
any day of the week!
1849
01:05:45,814 --> 01:05:46,814
Any day, Ralph!
1850
01:05:46,815 --> 01:05:47,814
So would I!
1851
01:05:47,815 --> 01:05:49,148
Me too!
1852
01:05:51,048 --> 01:05:53,715
You're not buying
any of this crap, are you?
1853
01:05:53,716 --> 01:05:56,182
A homeless dumpster dog?
You're kidding.
1854
01:05:56,183 --> 01:05:58,148
People are gonna be
falling all over themselves
1855
01:05:58,149 --> 01:05:59,582
betting on him.
1856
01:05:59,583 --> 01:06:00,000
Mr. Davis, I'm sorry.
1857
01:06:00,001 --> 01:06:01,515
Mr. Davis, I'm sorry.
1858
01:06:01,516 --> 01:06:03,049
If that dog wins,
I'm screwed.
1859
01:06:03,050 --> 01:06:04,983
That dog will never win.
1860
01:06:04,984 --> 01:06:06,717
You'll see for yourself.
1861
01:06:06,718 --> 01:06:07,718
Mr. kramden!
1862
01:06:08,718 --> 01:06:11,084
Iggy, he's in!
1863
01:06:11,085 --> 01:06:12,051
Yes!
He's in!
1864
01:06:16,485 --> 01:06:18,885
Bet on iggy! Iggy!
1865
01:06:18,886 --> 01:06:21,385
Excuse me. Excuse me.
What's going on here?
1866
01:06:21,386 --> 01:06:24,886
Who are they?
It's my piano.
1867
01:06:24,887 --> 01:06:28,988
Iggy! Iggy! Iggy! Iggy! Iggy!
1868
01:06:37,889 --> 01:06:39,688
Ralph, if you think
you can just waltz in here
1869
01:06:39,689 --> 01:06:41,022
and everything's
gonna be fine,
1870
01:06:41,023 --> 01:06:42,089
you have another--
1871
01:06:42,090 --> 01:06:45,055
Oh. It's you guys.
1872
01:06:45,056 --> 01:06:46,457
And that dog.
1873
01:06:47,824 --> 01:06:48,823
What's going on?
1874
01:06:48,824 --> 01:06:51,490
Ed's got quite a story.
1875
01:06:51,491 --> 01:06:53,358
He wants you to hear it.
1876
01:07:13,761 --> 01:07:15,560
Hey, he won't be
up there.
1877
01:07:15,561 --> 01:07:16,793
Who?
1878
01:07:16,794 --> 01:07:18,927
Dodge. That's who
you're looking for, right?
1879
01:07:18,928 --> 01:07:21,394
Oh, sure, exactly,
dodge, yeah.
1880
01:07:21,395 --> 01:07:23,928
- Oh, there he is.
- Hey, dodge. Dodge!
1881
01:07:23,929 --> 01:07:26,028
Hey! Hey, guys!
What's up? How you doing?
1882
01:07:26,029 --> 01:07:27,629
You probably thought
1883
01:07:27,630 --> 01:07:29,495
that I was stealing
his wallet, right?
1884
01:07:29,496 --> 01:07:29,999
Well, no. We're friends.
We do it all the time.
1885
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:31,862
Well, no. We're friends.
We do it all the time.
1886
01:07:31,863 --> 01:07:32,896
Lonnie, Lonnie!
1887
01:07:32,897 --> 01:07:34,496
Hey, tag,
you're it, man!
1888
01:07:34,497 --> 01:07:36,496
See you at the barbecue
next weekend!
1889
01:07:36,497 --> 01:07:38,464
Damn! Look at you fellas, man!
1890
01:07:38,465 --> 01:07:40,998
You look mackin', packin',
black-a-doscious.
1891
01:07:40,999 --> 01:07:42,631
Your first race.
1892
01:07:42,632 --> 01:07:44,797
You know, if iggy wins
that first heat, man,
1893
01:07:44,798 --> 01:07:47,064
we're gonna go for the real
money in the second race.
1894
01:07:47,065 --> 01:07:48,431
Now, go up.
I'm gonna take iggy.
1895
01:07:48,432 --> 01:07:49,732
Go to the owners' booth.
1896
01:07:49,733 --> 01:07:51,032
Go up into the box up there.
1897
01:07:51,033 --> 01:07:52,699
Enjoy yourselves.
Don't be nervous.
1898
01:07:52,700 --> 01:07:54,633
Popcorn!
1899
01:07:54,634 --> 01:07:58,600
Get your popcorn here!
Hey, popcorn!
1900
01:07:58,601 --> 01:07:59,999
What are you looking for?
1901
01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:00,600
What are you looking for?
1902
01:08:00,601 --> 01:08:01,767
I'm just...
1903
01:08:01,768 --> 01:08:03,901
Where is that popcorn man?
1904
01:08:03,902 --> 01:08:06,701
She's not coming, Norton.
1905
01:08:06,702 --> 01:08:08,902
I know you tried.
1906
01:08:08,903 --> 01:08:10,801
You my boy.
Yeah.
1907
01:08:10,802 --> 01:08:12,470
Yeah, man. It's okay.
1908
01:08:13,637 --> 01:08:15,369
Should we go down there?
1909
01:08:15,370 --> 01:08:16,903
No, no, trix,
I'm not ready yet.
1910
01:08:16,904 --> 01:08:18,702
Are you waiting to see
if he wins?
1911
01:08:18,703 --> 01:08:19,603
No!
1912
01:08:19,604 --> 01:08:21,770
I'm waiting to see
if he loses.
1913
01:08:21,771 --> 01:08:23,470
I know it'll kill him.
1914
01:08:23,471 --> 01:08:25,437
Ladies and gentlemen,
1915
01:08:25,438 --> 01:08:26,838
it's post time
for our qualifying heat.
1916
01:08:26,839 --> 01:08:28,337
All right. Let's go, iggy!
1917
01:08:28,338 --> 01:08:29,271
Do it, baby!
1918
01:08:29,272 --> 01:08:29,999
Go, six!
1919
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:30,500
Go, six!
1920
01:08:34,006 --> 01:08:35,907
And they're off!
1921
01:08:37,940 --> 01:08:39,774
Go, ig!
Go, go, go!
1922
01:08:55,776 --> 01:08:57,009
Do it! Do it!
1923
01:08:57,010 --> 01:08:58,976
Go ahead!
1924
01:09:05,678 --> 01:09:06,478
That's it!
1925
01:09:08,344 --> 01:09:11,244
The results
of the qualifying heat,
1926
01:09:11,245 --> 01:09:13,444
in first place,
number six, iggy,
1927
01:09:13,445 --> 01:09:15,244
with a time of 31.5.
We gonna get that money!
1928
01:09:15,245 --> 01:09:16,778
We're on our way, baby!
1929
01:09:16,779 --> 01:09:18,811
That dog is unbeatable!
1930
01:09:18,812 --> 01:09:20,345
Don't worry about it.
1931
01:09:20,346 --> 01:09:21,879
That was just the first heat.
1932
01:09:21,880 --> 01:09:24,480
The final
is a whole different ball game.
1933
01:09:24,481 --> 01:09:26,613
Now, that puts him in the race
for the money, right?
1934
01:09:26,614 --> 01:09:27,914
Yeah, yeah.
1935
01:09:27,915 --> 01:09:29,214
Only Ralph.
1936
01:09:29,215 --> 01:09:29,999
Our future depends
on a dog race.
1937
01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:32,214
Our future depends
on a dog race.
1938
01:09:32,215 --> 01:09:34,281
I didn't--
I didn't sleep with her!
1939
01:09:34,282 --> 01:09:36,215
I just loaned her 10k
for plastic surgery.
1940
01:09:36,216 --> 01:09:37,814
Now I don't even know
what she looks like, all right?
1941
01:09:37,815 --> 01:09:39,615
All right. Peace.
1942
01:09:39,616 --> 01:09:41,949
Yo, fellas, he's as ready
as he's ever gonna be now.
1943
01:09:41,950 --> 01:09:44,483
Come on, ig, we've gotta review
our strategy, baby.
1944
01:09:44,484 --> 01:09:46,483
Norton, it's a dog.
1945
01:09:46,484 --> 01:09:48,216
Ralph, stop hating!
1946
01:09:48,217 --> 01:09:50,516
I'm trying to get iggy
to visualize his success.
1947
01:09:50,517 --> 01:09:53,317
Well, you get him to visualize
going back to that dumpster.
1948
01:09:53,318 --> 01:09:54,958
That'll give him
something to think about.
1949
01:09:59,819 --> 01:10:00,000
Ahem. Sorry, guys.
1950
01:10:00,001 --> 01:10:01,351
Ahem. Sorry, guys.
1951
01:10:01,352 --> 01:10:02,718
I'm... Nervous.
1952
01:10:02,719 --> 01:10:04,486
Iggy's got this one
in the bag, Ralph.
1953
01:10:04,487 --> 01:10:05,952
I don't know, fellas.
1954
01:10:05,953 --> 01:10:07,853
This race is a lot tougher
than you guys think.
1955
01:10:07,854 --> 01:10:09,753
Aw, man,
there you go hating.
1956
01:10:09,754 --> 01:10:13,354
Iggy is gonna--
Them other dogs ain't-- damn!
1957
01:10:15,221 --> 01:10:17,520
That ain't a damn dog,
that's a horse!
1958
01:10:17,521 --> 01:10:20,388
Welcome to the big time, fellas.
Welcome to the big time.
1959
01:10:20,389 --> 01:10:21,488
Come on, iggy.
1960
01:10:21,489 --> 01:10:22,721
You win that race,
1961
01:10:22,722 --> 01:10:23,889
you get this.
1962
01:10:28,290 --> 01:10:29,322
What do you think?
1963
01:10:29,323 --> 01:10:29,999
Let's not jinx him.
1964
01:10:30,000 --> 01:10:30,555
Let's not jinx him.
1965
01:10:30,556 --> 01:10:31,889
Let's just see him
after the race.
1966
01:10:31,890 --> 01:10:34,323
After they win the money?
Let's hope.
1967
01:10:34,324 --> 01:10:36,657
Now, the featured race
of the day.
1968
01:10:36,658 --> 01:10:40,658
The New Jersey park stadium
anniversary derby
1969
01:10:40,659 --> 01:10:42,724
for a $20,000 prize purse!
Go and get it!
1970
01:10:42,725 --> 01:10:44,392
When you hear that bell,
run like hell!
1971
01:10:44,393 --> 01:10:46,425
Go get 'em, iggy!
1972
01:10:46,426 --> 01:10:48,359
Come on, do everything
I taught you. Come on.
1973
01:10:59,428 --> 01:10:59,999
And they're off.
1974
01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:00,895
And they're off.
1975
01:11:03,795 --> 01:11:05,663
Go, iggy!
1976
01:11:06,663 --> 01:11:07,829
Go, ig!
1977
01:11:10,263 --> 01:11:11,829
Come on, iggy!
You can do it, iggy!
1978
01:11:15,497 --> 01:11:16,737
Come on, iggy!
Get out of there!
1979
01:11:23,332 --> 01:11:26,564
Oh, man. He's in trouble!
He's boxed in!
1980
01:11:26,565 --> 01:11:28,332
Run, iggy! Run!
1981
01:11:31,133 --> 01:11:32,699
Maybe he needs
his good-luck charm.
1982
01:11:32,700 --> 01:11:35,233
Come on, ig!
Win this race and it's yours!
1983
01:11:44,701 --> 01:11:45,733
Oh, no!
1984
01:11:45,734 --> 01:11:47,301
Norton!
1985
01:11:47,302 --> 01:11:48,769
No!
1986
01:11:50,435 --> 01:11:51,469
Ha!
1987
01:11:56,670 --> 01:11:59,770
At the finish line,
it's bahama mama,
1988
01:11:59,771 --> 01:12:00,000
Henry v,
and pavlov's dog takes third.
1989
01:12:00,001 --> 01:12:03,703
Henry v,
and pavlov's dog takes third.
1990
01:12:03,704 --> 01:12:04,870
All owners,
1991
01:12:04,871 --> 01:12:06,470
please proceed
to the clubhouse
1992
01:12:06,471 --> 01:12:10,638
for the presentation
of the $20,000 purse.
1993
01:12:15,472 --> 01:12:17,838
What were you thinking,
distracting him like that?
1994
01:12:17,839 --> 01:12:19,639
I was just trying
to encourage him, Ralph.
1995
01:12:19,640 --> 01:12:21,272
You encouraged him,
all right.
1996
01:12:21,273 --> 01:12:24,073
You encouraged him away
from $20,000!
1997
01:12:24,074 --> 01:12:25,473
Ralph, stop yelling
at me.
1998
01:12:25,474 --> 01:12:27,307
He's gonna think
you're yelling at him.
1999
01:12:27,308 --> 01:12:28,774
I'm not yelling at the dog.
He's just a dumb animal!
2000
01:12:28,775 --> 01:12:29,999
What's your excuse?
2001
01:12:30,000 --> 01:12:30,342
What's your excuse?
2002
01:12:30,343 --> 01:12:32,474
Ralph...
2003
01:12:32,475 --> 01:12:33,541
Ed, you know
2004
01:12:33,542 --> 01:12:34,841
we needed this money.
2005
01:12:34,842 --> 01:12:36,142
Now Alice
will never take me back
2006
01:12:36,143 --> 01:12:38,208
because of you!
2007
01:12:38,209 --> 01:12:39,409
Ralph, calm down.
2008
01:12:39,410 --> 01:12:41,108
I thought we were boys, man.
2009
01:12:41,109 --> 01:12:42,242
No, no, we're not boys.
2010
01:12:42,243 --> 01:12:43,575
We're not friends.
2011
01:12:43,576 --> 01:12:45,776
We're not nothing! I'm done!
2012
01:12:45,777 --> 01:12:48,276
That's the way you feel?
2013
01:12:48,277 --> 01:12:49,476
Yeah, it's how I feel.
2014
01:12:49,477 --> 01:12:50,778
And stay out of my fire escape!
2015
01:12:52,211 --> 01:12:53,711
Come on, iggy.
2016
01:12:53,712 --> 01:12:56,112
Come on, y'all.
2017
01:12:59,346 --> 01:12:59,999
Alice...
2018
01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:00,500
Alice...
2019
01:13:41,485 --> 01:13:42,618
Pet cactus.
2020
01:13:42,619 --> 01:13:44,152
What was I thinking?
2021
01:13:44,153 --> 01:13:45,353
Shoot.
2022
01:13:48,486 --> 01:13:50,286
Yeah, yeah.
2023
01:13:50,287 --> 01:13:53,354
Heh. Learn and succeed.
Yeah, right.
2024
01:13:57,587 --> 01:13:59,999
Bart Roberts.
2025
01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:00,355
Bart Roberts.
2026
01:14:00,356 --> 01:14:04,188
I was a sucker
for ever believing in you.
2027
01:14:04,189 --> 01:14:06,489
I won't be
a sucker again, though.
2028
01:14:10,324 --> 01:14:11,755
"Kawakami."
2029
01:14:11,756 --> 01:14:14,122
I should have let you
get this train
2030
01:14:14,123 --> 01:14:16,324
since you wanted it so bad.
2031
01:14:19,625 --> 01:14:21,491
Maybe you still do.
2032
01:14:25,758 --> 01:14:27,459
Ow! Ow.
2033
01:14:28,526 --> 01:14:29,999
Don't burn up.
Come on, don't burn up on me.
2034
01:14:30,000 --> 01:14:31,720
Don't burn up.
Come on, don't burn up on me.
2035
01:14:38,727 --> 01:14:40,593
Mm. Ahem.
2036
01:14:40,594 --> 01:14:41,694
If...
2037
01:14:41,695 --> 01:14:42,561
Okay.
2038
01:14:57,197 --> 01:14:59,129
I might be able
to take it off your hands.
2039
01:14:59,130 --> 01:14:59,999
Well, the... the price
has gone up considerably.
2040
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:03,530
Well, the... the price
has gone up considerably.
2041
01:15:03,531 --> 01:15:05,464
I mean, we have to take
into account my time,
2042
01:15:05,465 --> 01:15:06,930
storage, um...
2043
01:15:06,931 --> 01:15:09,664
Fees, shipping,
postage, handling.
2044
01:15:09,665 --> 01:15:11,332
You know,
a lot of things like that.
2045
01:15:11,333 --> 01:15:13,199
What is your price?
2046
01:15:20,067 --> 01:15:21,199
Twenty-five thousand.
2047
01:15:21,200 --> 01:15:22,399
Twenty-five thousand?
2048
01:15:22,400 --> 01:15:24,133
Okay, that was too much.
2049
01:15:24,134 --> 01:15:26,233
Okay, $20,000.
2050
01:15:26,234 --> 01:15:29,169
Twenty thousand will be fine.
2051
01:15:31,702 --> 01:15:33,602
I'm gonna need a check
right now.
2052
01:15:47,604 --> 01:15:49,004
Hey, Larry!
2053
01:15:49,005 --> 01:15:50,603
Ralph kramden.
What's going on?
2054
01:15:50,604 --> 01:15:52,237
What, are you in trouble?
2055
01:15:52,238 --> 01:15:55,471
Look, I gotta get to q's diner
by 9 A.M.
2056
01:15:55,472 --> 01:15:57,638
You go that way, right?
Not by 9 A.M.
2057
01:15:57,639 --> 01:15:59,999
I mean, look at it,
it's like total gridlock.
2058
01:16:00,000 --> 01:16:01,760
I mean, look at it,
it's like total gridlock.
2059
01:16:02,940 --> 01:16:04,139
Hello, hello, hello.
2060
01:16:04,140 --> 01:16:06,306
Hey, q, it's Ralph kramden.
2061
01:16:06,307 --> 01:16:07,974
Alice's husband.
Is she--?
2062
01:16:07,975 --> 01:16:09,306
Oh, no, no,
she's not here.
2063
01:16:09,307 --> 01:16:10,974
I got the check for the house!
2064
01:16:10,975 --> 01:16:12,574
Please,
the health inspector here.
2065
01:16:12,575 --> 01:16:13,907
Health inspector?
2066
01:16:13,908 --> 01:16:15,607
Don't hang up, you--!
2067
01:16:15,608 --> 01:16:18,175
I gotta get over there!
2068
01:16:18,176 --> 01:16:20,308
Welcome to your new positions
2069
01:16:20,309 --> 01:16:22,175
in the New York City
sewer system!
2070
01:16:22,176 --> 01:16:24,409
Today, you will join
an elite group
2071
01:16:24,410 --> 01:16:26,543
of dedicated and dependable
professionals.
2072
01:16:26,544 --> 01:16:29,943
You lucky few have survived
a rigorous application process,
2073
01:16:29,944 --> 01:16:30,000
interviews
and psychological profiles.
2074
01:16:30,001 --> 01:16:33,143
Interviews
and psychological profiles.
2075
01:16:33,144 --> 01:16:34,477
Actually, ed,
2076
01:16:34,478 --> 01:16:37,044
these are all convicted felons
of violent crimes
2077
01:16:37,045 --> 01:16:40,211
taking part
in a work-release program.
2078
01:16:40,212 --> 01:16:42,045
And since there are
no questions--
2079
01:16:42,046 --> 01:16:44,579
I got one for you.
2080
01:16:47,447 --> 01:16:49,980
Two men are born
five blocks apart.
2081
01:16:49,981 --> 01:16:52,080
They've been best friends
for 30 years
2082
01:16:52,081 --> 01:16:55,246
until one of them says
some really stupid things
2083
01:16:55,247 --> 01:16:57,314
he didn't mean.
2084
01:16:57,315 --> 01:16:59,448
How does he get the other guy
to forgive him?
2085
01:16:59,449 --> 01:16:59,999
I'm not the one who's good
at riddles, remember, Ralph?
2086
01:17:00,000 --> 01:17:01,614
I'm not the one who's good
at riddles, remember, Ralph?
2087
01:17:01,615 --> 01:17:03,481
Neither am I.
2088
01:17:03,482 --> 01:17:05,016
What are you talking about?
2089
01:17:07,616 --> 01:17:10,950
You know that book of riddles
you keep on your coffee table?
2090
01:17:12,351 --> 01:17:16,050
I found it, got me a copy
and memorized it.
2091
01:17:16,051 --> 01:17:18,051
You mean to tell me--
2092
01:17:19,518 --> 01:17:21,418
Look... Norton.
2093
01:17:22,585 --> 01:17:24,218
Norton.
2094
01:17:24,219 --> 01:17:25,918
Come on. Norton.
2095
01:17:25,919 --> 01:17:27,385
What, Ralph?
What? What?
2096
01:17:27,386 --> 01:17:29,999
You've always thought
I was the smart one.
2097
01:17:30,000 --> 01:17:30,053
You've always thought
I was the smart one.
2098
01:17:30,054 --> 01:17:32,586
And if you ever
stopped thinking that,
2099
01:17:32,587 --> 01:17:35,921
then I don't know
what I would be anymore.
2100
01:17:39,321 --> 01:17:41,187
You really mean that, Ralph?
2101
01:17:41,188 --> 01:17:43,954
Yeah.
2102
01:17:43,955 --> 01:17:45,189
I'm sorry.
2103
01:17:47,189 --> 01:17:48,955
Hey, come on, ed.
2104
01:17:48,956 --> 01:17:50,888
You make me cry.
Don't start, man.
2105
01:17:50,889 --> 01:17:52,822
Why you come down here
and make me cry
2106
01:17:52,823 --> 01:17:54,456
in front of all
these convicts like this?
2107
01:17:54,457 --> 01:17:55,889
Stop it, man.
2108
01:17:55,890 --> 01:17:58,256
I'm trying just to say to you
what I gotta say.
2109
01:17:58,257 --> 01:17:59,999
Man-- ahem.
Look, all right? Look, man.
2110
01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:01,290
Man-- ahem.
Look, all right? Look, man.
2111
01:18:01,291 --> 01:18:02,390
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2112
01:18:02,391 --> 01:18:03,924
You know what I'm saying?
2113
01:18:03,925 --> 01:18:04,790
Do I have a tear
in my eye?
2114
01:18:04,791 --> 01:18:05,924
No, you okay.
2115
01:18:05,925 --> 01:18:07,558
Look, this doesn't
change everything.
2116
01:18:07,559 --> 01:18:09,158
We still have issues
between each other.
2117
01:18:09,159 --> 01:18:11,359
Look, okay, I understand that.
2118
01:18:11,360 --> 01:18:12,858
But I got the money
for the house.
2119
01:18:12,859 --> 01:18:14,559
You did?
2120
01:18:14,560 --> 01:18:16,993
But I gotta get the check
to the diner before 9 A.M.,
2121
01:18:16,994 --> 01:18:18,792
and it's total gridlock
up there.
2122
01:18:18,793 --> 01:18:21,026
I need someone who knows
the city beneath the city.
2123
01:18:21,027 --> 01:18:22,927
I need a specialist.
2124
01:18:22,928 --> 01:18:24,028
I need you, ed.
2125
01:18:26,328 --> 01:18:27,862
I got you.
2126
01:18:28,962 --> 01:18:29,999
But I have conditions.
2127
01:18:30,000 --> 01:18:30,961
But I have conditions.
2128
01:18:30,962 --> 01:18:32,362
Condition number one:
2129
01:18:32,363 --> 01:18:34,261
You gotta start
letting me pick stuff.
2130
01:18:34,262 --> 01:18:35,929
What are you
talking about?
2131
01:18:35,930 --> 01:18:37,329
You always get to pick
the restaurants.
2132
01:18:37,330 --> 01:18:39,196
You always get to pick
the movies.
2133
01:18:39,197 --> 01:18:40,529
That's because
if we let you pick stuff,
2134
01:18:40,530 --> 01:18:42,064
nothing would
ever get decided.
2135
01:18:49,065 --> 01:18:51,065
Fine!
You can pick stuff!
2136
01:18:53,766 --> 01:18:54,465
Second up.
2137
01:18:54,466 --> 01:18:56,298
When we get around new people,
2138
01:18:56,299 --> 01:18:58,019
you have to start
referring to me as Edward.
2139
01:19:00,734 --> 01:19:03,366
Only you would pick
a shortcut like this.
2140
01:19:03,367 --> 01:19:04,766
That's another one!
2141
01:19:04,767 --> 01:19:06,100
You gotta stop
making fun of me!
2142
01:19:06,101 --> 01:19:08,166
I'll admit,
the way I do things
2143
01:19:08,167 --> 01:19:09,967
is a little unorthodox,
2144
01:19:09,968 --> 01:19:11,201
but that's me.
2145
01:19:11,202 --> 01:19:13,067
The way you do things
is ridiculous.
2146
01:19:13,068 --> 01:19:14,868
Oh, I'm the one
who looks ridiculous?
2147
01:19:14,869 --> 01:19:15,769
Yeah!
2148
01:19:21,036 --> 01:19:22,469
That ain't even funny.
2149
01:19:22,470 --> 01:19:25,371
Oh, yes, it is. We gotta go.
Come on, let's ride.
2150
01:19:28,170 --> 01:19:29,999
Okay, Ralph,
this is the big one.
2151
01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:31,104
Okay, Ralph,
this is the big one.
2152
01:19:31,105 --> 01:19:32,204
You gotta promise to me
2153
01:19:32,205 --> 01:19:33,937
that you will never
yell at me
2154
01:19:33,938 --> 01:19:35,258
or get mad at me
ever, ever again.
2155
01:19:35,772 --> 01:19:36,771
Done.
2156
01:19:36,772 --> 01:19:38,138
Put it on your family jewels.
2157
01:19:38,139 --> 01:19:39,804
Put it on
my family j--
2158
01:19:39,805 --> 01:19:42,205
Fine, I put it
on my family jewels
2159
01:19:42,206 --> 01:19:46,806
that I will never get mad
or holler at you again.
2160
01:19:46,807 --> 01:19:48,106
Good. 'Cause we're lost.
2161
01:19:48,107 --> 01:19:49,141
You--!
2162
01:19:50,841 --> 01:19:51,973
Family jewels.
2163
01:19:51,974 --> 01:19:55,041
So... Edward...
2164
01:19:55,042 --> 01:19:56,374
Mm-hm?
2165
01:19:56,375 --> 01:19:59,008
How do you suggest
we proceed from here?
2166
01:19:59,009 --> 01:19:59,999
Well, there's two ways
we can go.
2167
01:20:00,000 --> 01:20:00,476
Well, there's two ways
we can go.
2168
01:20:00,477 --> 01:20:01,597
Either that way or that way.
2169
01:20:03,342 --> 01:20:05,042
Why don't we let you pick.
2170
01:20:05,043 --> 01:20:06,376
Let me pick?
That's my man.
2171
01:20:06,377 --> 01:20:08,143
That's what
I'm talking about.
2172
01:20:09,044 --> 01:20:10,177
Which way?
2173
01:20:11,311 --> 01:20:12,877
That way.
2174
01:20:16,978 --> 01:20:18,678
It's this way, Ralph!
2175
01:20:21,178 --> 01:20:22,778
This should be it.
Straight up.
2176
01:20:22,779 --> 01:20:23,412
Let's hope.
2177
01:20:28,179 --> 01:20:29,999
Ha, ha, ha!
Hey, Norton, this is it!
2178
01:20:30,000 --> 01:20:30,879
Ha, ha, ha!
Hey, Norton, this is it!
2179
01:20:30,880 --> 01:20:32,747
You my man, dog!
2180
01:20:35,414 --> 01:20:36,414
Aah! Whoa!
2181
01:20:48,082 --> 01:20:49,382
Ralph, what are you waiting for?
2182
01:20:49,383 --> 01:20:52,049
There's a SUV
on the manhole cover!
2183
01:20:52,050 --> 01:20:53,316
You're yelling, Ralph.
2184
01:20:53,317 --> 01:20:56,783
This way is blocked,
and it's Davis.
2185
01:20:56,784 --> 01:20:58,917
Okay, another manhole
two blocks down.
2186
01:21:00,151 --> 01:21:01,183
Watch it!
2187
01:21:01,184 --> 01:21:02,717
You think we're too late?
2188
01:21:02,718 --> 01:21:04,152
Not if she hasn't
signed yet!
2189
01:21:07,019 --> 01:21:08,252
You don't have to read it.
2190
01:21:10,986 --> 01:21:12,386
Oh, glad you two made up.
2191
01:21:12,387 --> 01:21:14,386
But Alice
isn't here, Ralph.
2192
01:21:14,387 --> 01:21:16,286
She didn't want to stick around
and watch that.
2193
01:21:17,854 --> 01:21:19,887
Ma'am, don't sign that!
2194
01:21:21,021 --> 01:21:22,987
That's no good.
That's good.
2195
01:21:22,988 --> 01:21:24,154
Miss benvenuti--
2196
01:21:24,155 --> 01:21:25,653
Oh, no, no,
don't put that down!
2197
01:21:25,654 --> 01:21:27,154
You can't stop
once you've started.
2198
01:21:27,155 --> 01:21:29,321
It's-- it's unethical.
2199
01:21:29,322 --> 01:21:29,999
I'm Ralph kramden.
Alice's husband. And, uh--
2200
01:21:30,000 --> 01:21:31,222
I'm Ralph kramden.
Alice's husband. And, uh--
2201
01:21:31,223 --> 01:21:33,655
Oh, please.
Well, this is--
2202
01:21:33,656 --> 01:21:34,922
Mr. q?
It's a little wet.
2203
01:21:34,923 --> 01:21:36,322
It's dirty. But, uh,
2204
01:21:36,323 --> 01:21:37,889
maybe we can blow-dry it off
2205
01:21:37,890 --> 01:21:39,123
and do whatever.
2206
01:21:39,124 --> 01:21:41,056
But it's for you.
2207
01:21:41,057 --> 01:21:42,858
I'll take the check as-is.
2208
01:21:44,025 --> 01:21:46,624
Okay, everyone just--
2209
01:21:46,625 --> 01:21:49,025
Look, I'll give you
even more, all right?
2210
01:21:49,026 --> 01:21:50,158
Thank you.
2211
01:21:50,159 --> 01:21:51,891
You got it.
2212
01:21:51,892 --> 01:21:53,792
But I don't think so.
2213
01:21:53,793 --> 01:21:55,992
I'd rather have my house
remain a home.
2214
01:21:55,993 --> 01:21:57,825
Yeah!
2215
01:21:57,826 --> 01:21:58,892
Thank you,
miss benvenuti!
2216
01:21:58,893 --> 01:21:59,999
Thank you!
2217
01:22:00,000 --> 01:22:00,659
Thank you!
2218
01:22:00,660 --> 01:22:02,593
Thank you, Mr. kramden.
2219
01:22:02,594 --> 01:22:04,127
It's a pleasure
doing business with you.
2220
01:22:04,128 --> 01:22:05,793
- Oh, no, no.
- Thank you.
2221
01:22:05,794 --> 01:22:06,826
You can't
do this to me.
2222
01:22:06,827 --> 01:22:08,727
Nobody's doing anything to you.
2223
01:22:08,728 --> 01:22:10,327
This is business.
2224
01:22:10,328 --> 01:22:11,628
It's not personal.
2225
01:22:14,062 --> 01:22:15,262
Ywaah!
2226
01:22:17,163 --> 01:22:19,029
Miss benvenuti,
we'll be calling you.
2227
01:22:19,030 --> 01:22:20,263
All right.
2228
01:23:14,805 --> 01:23:16,038
Ralph...
2229
01:23:16,039 --> 01:23:18,772
Just... Give me a second, okay?
2230
01:23:22,105 --> 01:23:25,507
Alice, I've wasted
so much time.
2231
01:23:26,707 --> 01:23:28,973
Made so many bad choices.
2232
01:23:28,974 --> 01:23:29,999
But there's only one thing
I've ever done right...
2233
01:23:30,000 --> 01:23:34,006
But there's only one thing
I've ever done right...
2234
01:23:34,007 --> 01:23:35,174
And that's love you.
2235
01:23:38,908 --> 01:23:40,042
Baby, let's go home.
2236
01:23:43,176 --> 01:23:45,510
You mean,
the one we just bought?
2237
01:23:48,510 --> 01:23:49,842
How did you do it?
2238
01:23:49,843 --> 01:23:52,009
Well, Norton helped out
a little bit, but...
2239
01:23:52,010 --> 01:23:54,210
No one deserves this
more than you, Alice.
2240
01:23:56,111 --> 01:23:58,878
Baby, you're the greatest.
2241
01:24:14,180 --> 01:24:16,579
All right, guys, come on.
2242
01:24:16,580 --> 01:24:18,579
Quit your pissing and moaning.
The doghouse is not that heavy.
2243
01:24:18,580 --> 01:24:20,247
And it goes in the back
facing east
2244
01:24:20,248 --> 01:24:22,048
so it gets feng shui,
you got it?
2245
01:24:22,049 --> 01:24:24,048
And mama Gibson,
please don't drop another box.
2246
01:24:24,049 --> 01:24:25,847
I don't got
insurance, okay?
2247
01:24:25,848 --> 01:24:27,981
You don't have no manners
either, Mr. "eazy" dodge.
2248
01:24:27,982 --> 01:24:29,882
Oh, you're going
to get into it with me?
2249
01:24:29,883 --> 01:24:30,000
That's all right.
Ladies, please hurry up.
2250
01:24:30,001 --> 01:24:31,449
That's all right.
Ladies, please hurry up.
2251
01:24:31,450 --> 01:24:33,182
We're gonna have
a lunch break.
2252
01:24:33,183 --> 01:24:35,049
And make this house a home.
Amen.
2253
01:24:35,050 --> 01:24:36,116
Amen.
2254
01:24:36,117 --> 01:24:37,816
All right, eat up, everybody.
2255
01:24:37,817 --> 01:24:40,683
- Thank you, sweetheart.
- All right, now.
2256
01:24:40,684 --> 01:24:43,950
Y'all, here we are.
Finally.
2257
01:24:43,951 --> 01:24:45,551
To our own home.
2258
01:24:45,552 --> 01:24:46,784
Cheers, y'all.
2259
01:24:46,785 --> 01:24:49,651
Cheers!
2260
01:24:49,652 --> 01:24:51,152
Hey, Ralph, Ralph.
2261
01:24:51,153 --> 01:24:52,651
I got a surprise
for you.
2262
01:24:52,652 --> 01:24:53,985
Let go.
Let go. Let go.
2263
01:24:53,986 --> 01:24:55,752
Good boy.
I trained iggy, man.
2264
01:24:55,753 --> 01:24:58,186
He's gonna be your dog servant.
Fetch you a beer.
2265
01:24:58,187 --> 01:24:59,999
Get you a newspaper
when you want.
2266
01:25:00,000 --> 01:25:00,520
Get you a newspaper
when you want.
2267
01:25:00,521 --> 01:25:01,921
Isn't that your train
right there?
2268
01:25:03,621 --> 01:25:05,620
Would you look at that?
A million dollars!
2269
01:25:05,621 --> 01:25:07,487
Yeah, Ralph,
isn't that your train?
2270
01:25:07,488 --> 01:25:09,421
The one with
the solid brass trim?
2271
01:25:09,422 --> 01:25:10,188
Shut up.
2272
01:25:10,189 --> 01:25:11,487
What?
2273
01:25:11,488 --> 01:25:13,488
Oh, yo, man.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
2274
01:25:13,489 --> 01:25:15,922
Uh, Ralph, you gonna
watch the game later on?
2275
01:25:15,923 --> 01:25:17,488
Solid brass?
2276
01:25:17,489 --> 01:25:19,589
Ralph, you said you weren't
gonna get mad at me no more.
2277
01:25:19,590 --> 01:25:21,689
Nah. No, Norton,
2278
01:25:21,690 --> 01:25:23,090
I'm not gonna
get mad.
2279
01:25:23,091 --> 01:25:24,489
No, I'm not gonna yell.
2280
01:25:24,490 --> 01:25:25,756
I'm just gonna kill you!
2281
01:25:25,757 --> 01:25:27,090
Where's he going?
2282
01:25:27,091 --> 01:25:28,724
Get back here
and eat dinner!
2283
01:25:28,725 --> 01:25:29,999
Ralph, I know
where there's another train!
2284
01:25:30,000 --> 01:25:31,124
Ralph, I know
where there's another train!
2285
01:25:31,125 --> 01:25:32,724
And it's got
a bell too!
2286
01:25:32,725 --> 01:25:34,191
You better know
where there's another train!
2287
01:25:34,192 --> 01:25:35,691
Come on, man.
For real, believe me!
2288
01:25:35,692 --> 01:25:37,491
You gonna
play it dumb, huh?
2289
01:25:37,492 --> 01:25:39,526
♪ Shake 'em in a burst
be promotin' ♪
2290
01:25:39,527 --> 01:25:42,159
♪ nobody tried
come fierce, no insultin' ♪
2291
01:25:42,160 --> 01:25:45,060
♪ they pull me up
twenty-two and I'm a sultan ♪
2292
01:25:45,061 --> 01:25:47,161
♪ that I feel so
forget enough startin' fool ♪
2293
01:25:50,095 --> 01:25:51,395
We got the money too.
2294
01:25:52,895 --> 01:25:54,161
...when he win
that money.
2295
01:25:54,162 --> 01:25:55,795
America's youth
through book--
2296
01:25:55,796 --> 01:25:57,128
Book clubs.
2297
01:25:57,129 --> 01:25:59,999
See, ed here
is a special child.
2298
01:26:00,000 --> 01:26:01,240
See, ed here
is a special child.
2299
01:26:02,897 --> 01:26:05,029
♪ The guys, they call me
the bomb ♪
2300
01:26:05,030 --> 01:26:06,496
♪ the dang-dy, dang-dy ♪
2301
01:26:06,497 --> 01:26:07,897
Hold on! Hold on!
Ralph! Ralph!
2302
01:26:07,898 --> 01:26:09,630
Ralph!
Ralph!
2303
01:26:09,631 --> 01:26:12,030
♪ Yeah, with the bomb
the dang-dy dang diggy diggy ♪
2304
01:26:12,031 --> 01:26:14,030
Ack!
2305
01:26:14,031 --> 01:26:16,031
♪ My style is the bomb
the bomb ♪
2306
01:26:16,032 --> 01:26:17,597
♪ the dang-dy dang
diggy diggy ♪
2307
01:26:17,598 --> 01:26:19,365
Stop rubbin'
on his balls.
2308
01:26:19,366 --> 01:26:20,465
Get out
of the chair, iggy.
2309
01:26:20,466 --> 01:26:21,832
I got his balls?
Oh, man!
2310
01:26:21,833 --> 01:26:23,665
Why didn't you
tell me?
2311
01:26:23,666 --> 01:26:25,865
Well, my father used to train
neglected chihuahuas
2312
01:26:25,866 --> 01:26:29,733
with down syndrome.
And then...
2313
01:26:29,734 --> 01:26:30,000
It's not that he has any kind
of mental problem.
2314
01:26:30,001 --> 01:26:31,900
It's not that he has any kind
of mental problem.
2315
01:26:31,901 --> 01:26:34,500
He just likes
to slobber.
2316
01:26:34,501 --> 01:26:36,134
What do you mean,
let it go?
2317
01:26:36,135 --> 01:26:37,600
I'm here lookin' like
a birthday balloon.
2318
01:26:37,601 --> 01:26:39,101
You want me
to let it go.
2319
01:26:39,102 --> 01:26:40,701
I'm here lookin' like
dishwashing liquid.
2320
01:26:40,702 --> 01:26:43,401
Kumquat. Summer squash.
A stick of butter. Let it go?
2321
01:26:43,402 --> 01:26:44,835
I'm looking like
somebody's crack teeth.
2322
01:26:44,836 --> 01:26:46,702
You look more like
a piece of flan.
2323
01:26:46,703 --> 01:26:49,003
Un burrito gordito pero bonito.Venga. Let's go.
2324
01:26:49,004 --> 01:26:50,436
F&%@! You,
come here!
2325
01:26:50,437 --> 01:26:52,103
What did you say?
2326
01:26:52,104 --> 01:26:54,103
What's up?
What's up?
2327
01:26:54,104 --> 01:26:55,538
♪ The dang-dy dang
diggy diggy ♪
2328
01:26:57,371 --> 01:26:59,999
♪ here with the bomb
the dang-dy dang diggy diggy ♪
2329
01:27:00,000 --> 01:27:02,000
♪ here with the bomb
the dang-dy dang diggy diggy ♪
2330
01:27:03,939 --> 01:27:05,505
♪ headfirst
shake 'em in a burst ♪
2331
01:27:05,506 --> 01:27:06,805
♪ be promotin' ♪
2332
01:27:06,806 --> 01:27:09,338
♪ nobody tried
come fierce with somethin' ♪
2333
01:27:09,339 --> 01:27:11,906
♪ they pull me up
twenty-two and I'm somethin' ♪
2334
01:27:11,907 --> 01:27:14,706
♪ them say they're my friend
and them mine me friend ♪
2335
01:27:14,707 --> 01:27:17,339
♪ anytime you're ready, fool
anytime start ♪
2336
01:27:17,340 --> 01:27:19,674
♪ one or two
pinch from my style ♪
2337
01:27:19,675 --> 01:27:21,407
♪ my style is the bomb
the bomb ♪
2338
01:27:21,408 --> 01:27:22,842
♪ the dang-dy dang
diggy diggy ♪
2339
01:27:24,076 --> 01:27:26,508
♪ my style is the bomb
the bomb ♪
2340
01:27:26,509 --> 01:27:28,576
♪ the dang-dy dang
diggy diggy ♪
2341
01:27:30,010 --> 01:27:32,076
♪ here with the bomb ♪
2342
01:27:32,077 --> 01:27:34,343
♪ the dang-dy dang
diggy diggy ♪
2343
01:29:23,793 --> 01:29:25,792
I'm Ronald.
And I'm Ernie.
2344
01:29:25,793 --> 01:29:28,161
And we're the isley brothers.
2345
01:29:28,162 --> 01:29:29,999
♪ La-la-la
la-la-la-la ♪
2346
01:29:30,000 --> 01:29:30,663
♪ Ia-la-la
la-la-la-la ♪
2347
01:29:30,664 --> 01:29:31,665
♪ Oooh, ooooh ♪
163005
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