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1
00:00:05,743 --> 00:00:08,572
[playing fanfare on kazoo]
2
00:00:10,269 --> 00:00:13,446
You are cordially invited
to Dudley's Thanksgiving.
3
00:00:13,490 --> 00:00:14,969
It's a hot ticket.
4
00:00:15,013 --> 00:00:16,493
Very exclusive.
5
00:00:16,536 --> 00:00:18,234
Please come.
6
00:00:18,277 --> 00:00:20,801
Get out of here, Dudley.
We already have plans.
7
00:00:20,845 --> 00:00:22,281
Well, let me know
if anything changes.
8
00:00:22,325 --> 00:00:24,544
[plays fanfare]
9
00:00:24,588 --> 00:00:26,894
[laughs]:
Well...
10
00:00:26,938 --> 00:00:29,462
what areyou guys doing
for Thanksgiving?
11
00:00:29,506 --> 00:00:31,595
Well, I think the question
you should be asking is:
12
00:00:31,638 --> 00:00:33,379
what are wedoing
for Thanksgiving?
13
00:00:33,423 --> 00:00:36,904
Yes, Margaret, since tomorrow
is your very first Thanksgiving
14
00:00:36,948 --> 00:00:38,602
here at Shady Meadows,
15
00:00:38,645 --> 00:00:41,170
I would like to issue
a formal invitation
16
00:00:41,213 --> 00:00:45,478
for you to have dinner with us
at the renowned Tucson hot spot
17
00:00:45,522 --> 00:00:47,567
Chez Sid!
18
00:00:49,047 --> 00:00:50,701
Margaret, you're
really gonna enjoy it.
19
00:00:50,744 --> 00:00:52,529
Sid makes all the classics.
20
00:00:52,572 --> 00:00:55,532
Yam casserole.
Green bean casserole.
21
00:00:55,575 --> 00:00:57,229
Stuffing casserole.
22
00:00:57,273 --> 00:00:59,971
And of course,
his fabled casserole casserole.
23
00:01:00,014 --> 00:01:03,409
Oh, well, thank you
for the invitation, you guys.
24
00:01:03,453 --> 00:01:06,978
As delicious as a four-casserole
Thanksgiving sounds...
25
00:01:07,021 --> 00:01:09,285
Uh-bup-bup,
there's 12 casseroles, Margaret.
26
00:01:09,328 --> 00:01:11,287
We were just giving you
the highlights.
27
00:01:11,330 --> 00:01:14,159
[laughing]: Yeah. We didn't
want to blow your mind.
28
00:01:14,203 --> 00:01:15,639
Well, I appreciate that.
29
00:01:15,682 --> 00:01:18,032
But I-I actually
already have plans.
30
00:01:18,076 --> 00:01:20,557
With who? Dudley's
the only other game in town,
31
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,603
and that is too dark
to even think about.
32
00:01:23,647 --> 00:01:27,216
Well, he's not
the onlyother game in town.
33
00:01:27,259 --> 00:01:28,565
Well, who else?
34
00:01:28,608 --> 00:01:30,044
Oh, wait a minute,
35
00:01:30,088 --> 00:01:32,351
not Murray and the food snobs!
36
00:01:32,395 --> 00:01:34,658
Well, now,
I've already dry-brined
37
00:01:34,701 --> 00:01:37,051
and spatchcocked the turkey,
38
00:01:37,095 --> 00:01:39,271
which will,
of course, be divine.
39
00:01:39,315 --> 00:01:42,970
Francine, love your
ciabatta and sausage stuffing.
40
00:01:43,014 --> 00:01:45,886
But, uh, go easy
on the sage this year.
41
00:01:45,930 --> 00:01:48,324
This isn't a Wiccan festival.
42
00:01:48,367 --> 00:01:50,195
FRANCINE:
Note taken, Murray.
43
00:01:50,239 --> 00:01:54,460
And I apologize if I've
let you down in the past.
44
00:01:56,375 --> 00:01:57,681
And, Norman,
45
00:01:57,724 --> 00:02:01,032
if you bring another
of your oak-y Chardonnays,
46
00:02:01,075 --> 00:02:02,860
you'll be banished
to the cafeteria
47
00:02:02,903 --> 00:02:05,254
along with the rest
of these mouth-breathers.
48
00:02:06,690 --> 00:02:09,606
You know, I actually prefer
breathing through my mouth.
49
00:02:09,649 --> 00:02:11,782
It's so much easier.
It's just...
50
00:02:11,825 --> 00:02:13,566
[takes deep breath]
51
00:02:13,610 --> 00:02:16,700
Yeah. That's so nice.
52
00:02:16,743 --> 00:02:19,355
And how'd you score
an invite, anyway?
53
00:02:19,398 --> 00:02:21,095
They hate everyone.
Even me.
54
00:02:21,139 --> 00:02:23,359
Can you wrap your head
around that?
55
00:02:23,402 --> 00:02:25,883
Murray just came up to me
and invited me, and I,
56
00:02:25,926 --> 00:02:27,711
I don't mind, he's kind of cute.
57
00:02:27,754 --> 00:02:29,365
And that British accent.
58
00:02:29,408 --> 00:02:30,931
Cheerio.
59
00:02:32,324 --> 00:02:35,371
Well, all that food sounds wack.
60
00:02:35,414 --> 00:02:38,983
I didn't hear the word
"casserole" in there once.
61
00:02:40,506 --> 00:02:42,160
Margaret, let me
explain something to you.
62
00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:45,076
We forbid you from going
over there for Thanksgiving!
63
00:02:46,338 --> 00:02:47,600
You know, Thanksgiving is a time
64
00:02:47,644 --> 00:02:49,602
to be with the people
you care about.
65
00:02:49,646 --> 00:02:52,388
That's why we all told our kids
that we have the flu.
66
00:02:52,431 --> 00:02:55,652
-So we could hang out here
and party. -SID: Mm-hmm.
67
00:02:55,695 --> 00:02:59,830
Exactly. Nothing should come
between us on Thanksgiving Day.
68
00:02:59,873 --> 00:03:02,311
Murray gave me a plus-one.
69
00:03:02,354 --> 00:03:04,400
-Me! Me, me, me!
-Oh, no. -Margaret!
70
00:03:04,443 --> 00:03:07,664
-[shouting]
-Me, me, me, me, me... -Margaret! Margaret.
71
00:03:07,707 --> 00:03:09,709
♪
72
00:03:29,729 --> 00:03:33,080
Okay, I, uh,
think the choice is obvious.
73
00:03:33,124 --> 00:03:35,474
You can't spell Thanksgiving
without "Hank." That's me.
74
00:03:35,518 --> 00:03:37,868
I'm Hank, so...
75
00:03:37,911 --> 00:03:41,350
Oh. I was gonna pitch myself,
but that was so convincing.
76
00:03:41,393 --> 00:03:43,917
I think you should take Hank.
77
00:03:43,961 --> 00:03:47,530
Margaret!
Please, please pick me.
78
00:03:47,573 --> 00:03:50,924
This little kitty wants
a fancy feast.
79
00:03:52,361 --> 00:03:54,928
Sid. You're preparing
your own Thanksgiving.
80
00:03:54,972 --> 00:03:56,887
You can't go to somebody else's.
81
00:03:56,930 --> 00:03:58,497
Watch me.
Margaret, please pick me.
82
00:03:58,541 --> 00:04:01,544
You know that I am
the classiest of the three.
83
00:04:01,587 --> 00:04:02,980
Well...
84
00:04:03,023 --> 00:04:05,722
the bar is a little low.
85
00:04:08,507 --> 00:04:09,900
But yeah, I-I pick Sid.
86
00:04:09,943 --> 00:04:11,380
[laughs]:
Hurray! Hurray!
87
00:04:11,423 --> 00:04:15,209
I told you I was the classiest.
[blowing raspberries]
88
00:04:15,253 --> 00:04:17,342
But what are we supposed
to do now? You're preparing
89
00:04:17,386 --> 00:04:18,561
-our Thanksgiving!
-CHARLIE: Yeah.
90
00:04:18,604 --> 00:04:20,476
Well, you can cook it.
91
00:04:20,519 --> 00:04:22,565
Everything's in my apartment.
92
00:04:22,608 --> 00:04:24,262
Happy Thanksgiving, guys.
93
00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:27,744
Come on, girl,
we are moving on up.
94
00:04:27,787 --> 00:04:31,443
[playing fanfare on kazoo]
95
00:04:31,487 --> 00:04:34,533
Plans fall through?
That's my target audience.
96
00:04:36,448 --> 00:04:37,884
I got more.
97
00:04:42,802 --> 00:04:44,935
Ooh... I'm so excited.
98
00:04:44,978 --> 00:04:47,503
And hungry.
99
00:04:47,546 --> 00:04:49,766
I didn't eat all day
in anticipation.
100
00:04:49,809 --> 00:04:52,072
Same. I even did an hour
on the elliptical
101
00:04:52,116 --> 00:04:54,510
just to work up an appetite.
102
00:04:54,553 --> 00:04:56,599
All right, a half hour.
103
00:04:56,642 --> 00:04:58,862
Fine. I went in the sauna.
104
00:04:58,905 --> 00:05:00,429
There it is.
105
00:05:01,908 --> 00:05:04,215
Okay, Sid, I'm kind of
interested in Murray,
106
00:05:04,258 --> 00:05:06,609
so try to make me
look good in there.
107
00:05:06,652 --> 00:05:08,175
But they are so ritzy.
108
00:05:08,219 --> 00:05:10,439
Growing up in small-town Texas,
109
00:05:10,482 --> 00:05:12,528
we didn't do fancy holidays.
110
00:05:12,571 --> 00:05:14,573
One Christmas,
we ate a squirrel family
111
00:05:14,617 --> 00:05:17,010
that was nesting in the attic.
112
00:05:21,667 --> 00:05:24,278
Okay, that is horrifying.
113
00:05:25,497 --> 00:05:27,325
Gee, Sid, I would've thought
114
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:30,589
that your palate would be
a little more refined.
115
00:05:30,633 --> 00:05:32,809
Because I'm gay, Margaret?
116
00:05:32,852 --> 00:05:34,680
Wow.
117
00:05:34,724 --> 00:05:36,247
Well, I didn't mean
118
00:05:36,290 --> 00:05:37,640
-just because you're...
-Oh...
119
00:05:37,683 --> 00:05:40,556
what an ugly moment.
120
00:05:41,687 --> 00:05:43,428
Margaret, gay people
121
00:05:43,472 --> 00:05:46,518
can be trash, too, you know.
122
00:05:46,562 --> 00:05:49,434
Okay, fine. From now on I will
recognize that you are trash.
123
00:05:49,478 --> 00:05:52,568
Well, thank you.
124
00:05:52,611 --> 00:05:54,787
In the meantime,
will you try to fit in here?
125
00:05:54,831 --> 00:05:56,528
We're gonna have
the best meal of our lives.
126
00:05:57,877 --> 00:05:59,879
Hi, y'all!
127
00:06:01,098 --> 00:06:02,839
I brought a bottle of wine
128
00:06:02,882 --> 00:06:04,667
for our dashing host.
129
00:06:04,710 --> 00:06:06,495
It's from France.
130
00:06:06,538 --> 00:06:09,106
Ooh. Did you hear that,
everyone?
131
00:06:09,149 --> 00:06:11,935
France.
132
00:06:11,978 --> 00:06:15,504
Oh, please. Meet my roommate,
Woof-Gang Puck.
133
00:06:15,547 --> 00:06:17,027
Evergreen, Murray.
134
00:06:17,070 --> 00:06:19,290
I love it more
every time I hear it.
135
00:06:20,552 --> 00:06:22,554
Well, I wouldn't mind
woof-ing down
136
00:06:22,598 --> 00:06:24,948
-some of these appetizers.
-Bup-bup-bup-bup,
137
00:06:24,991 --> 00:06:26,732
my appetizer-sized friend.
138
00:06:26,776 --> 00:06:28,342
All in due time.
139
00:06:28,386 --> 00:06:30,344
Around here, we like
to tantalize the mind
140
00:06:30,388 --> 00:06:32,216
as well as the palate.
141
00:06:33,347 --> 00:06:34,436
What?
142
00:06:36,176 --> 00:06:39,615
-Whew, that was exhausting.
-CHARLIE: Oh, yes, sir.
143
00:06:39,658 --> 00:06:43,619
I'd feel a lot better about it
if we'd made something edible.
144
00:06:43,662 --> 00:06:46,709
Yeah, well, I think the problem
here is neither one of us
145
00:06:46,752 --> 00:06:48,362
knows how to cook.
146
00:06:50,321 --> 00:06:51,975
-Amen, brother.
-Hey.
147
00:06:52,018 --> 00:06:55,631
[grunts] But, you know, Margaret
and Sid are coming right back.
148
00:06:55,674 --> 00:06:57,676
-They are?
-Oh, yeah.
149
00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:59,939
As soon as they walk into
Murray's, realize they're wrong,
150
00:06:59,983 --> 00:07:01,767
they're gonna come rushing back,
151
00:07:01,811 --> 00:07:05,771
begging to cook us the
Thanksgiving meal of our dreams.
152
00:07:05,815 --> 00:07:08,600
Well, that is good, because it
would be a very sad Thanksgiving
153
00:07:08,644 --> 00:07:12,561
if it was just the two of us
in Sid's apartment with no food.
154
00:07:12,604 --> 00:07:14,345
[chuckles]
155
00:07:14,388 --> 00:07:16,390
[quietly]:
Yes, indeed.
156
00:07:18,610 --> 00:07:21,439
But no, they're coming back now.
157
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:24,573
They're coming right back
through that door.
158
00:07:24,616 --> 00:07:27,010
So they're coming back
159
00:07:27,053 --> 00:07:29,142
right...
160
00:07:29,186 --> 00:07:30,448
now!
161
00:07:31,754 --> 00:07:34,017
Right now!
162
00:07:35,714 --> 00:07:37,107
It's not working, Hank.
163
00:07:37,150 --> 00:07:38,761
No, they're coming back.
164
00:07:38,804 --> 00:07:40,414
They're coming back.
165
00:07:40,458 --> 00:07:41,807
-Yeah, say this with me.
-Okay.
166
00:07:41,851 --> 00:07:43,679
Five, four, three, two, one.
167
00:07:43,722 --> 00:07:44,549
BOTH:
Now!
168
00:07:44,593 --> 00:07:45,811
Now!
169
00:07:47,030 --> 00:07:48,422
Now!
170
00:07:50,599 --> 00:07:53,689
Every year before dinner,
we play trivia.
171
00:07:53,732 --> 00:07:56,909
Get a question right,
earn an appetizer.
172
00:07:56,953 --> 00:08:00,652
[laughs]: Oh. I love learning
when I'm hungry.
173
00:08:00,696 --> 00:08:02,785
You love trivia, right, Sid?
174
00:08:02,828 --> 00:08:04,177
Oh, 'deed I do.
175
00:08:04,221 --> 00:08:06,136
'Deed I do.
176
00:08:06,179 --> 00:08:08,834
'Deed I don't.
Margaret, I don't know anything.
177
00:08:08,878 --> 00:08:11,228
Well, just roll with it,
because these appetizers
178
00:08:11,271 --> 00:08:14,274
smell freakin' amazing.
179
00:08:14,318 --> 00:08:16,668
MURRAY:
First question!
180
00:08:16,712 --> 00:08:17,974
Francine.
181
00:08:18,017 --> 00:08:20,759
What varietals make up
a Bordeaux blend?
182
00:08:20,803 --> 00:08:24,067
Getting a little
"Bordeaux" myself.
183
00:08:24,110 --> 00:08:27,636
Starting with a softball,
eh, Murray?
184
00:08:27,679 --> 00:08:29,072
Very well.
185
00:08:29,115 --> 00:08:31,727
The answer is:
Cabernet Sauvignon,
186
00:08:31,770 --> 00:08:33,598
Merlot and Cabernet Franc.
187
00:08:33,642 --> 00:08:35,252
Correct!
[chuckles]
188
00:08:35,295 --> 00:08:38,516
This deviled quail's egg
is yours.
189
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:39,691
Mm. Mm.
190
00:08:42,215 --> 00:08:43,782
Mmm!
191
00:08:45,001 --> 00:08:46,785
Mmm!
192
00:08:47,786 --> 00:08:49,309
Mmm!
193
00:08:52,356 --> 00:08:53,357
Mmm!
194
00:08:55,272 --> 00:08:58,318
Oh. Mmm! Mmm!
195
00:08:58,362 --> 00:09:01,060
[panting]:
Oh, my God.
196
00:09:01,104 --> 00:09:02,845
Oh!
197
00:09:02,888 --> 00:09:04,629
[pants]
198
00:09:04,673 --> 00:09:06,718
Oh, God, I love trivia.
199
00:09:09,329 --> 00:09:12,115
That really made me upset.
200
00:09:13,682 --> 00:09:16,423
There's a weird energy
in here, right?
201
00:09:16,467 --> 00:09:18,643
Big-time.
But I am definitely staying
202
00:09:18,687 --> 00:09:21,820
until I get one of those eggs.
203
00:09:25,258 --> 00:09:26,869
[weakly]:
Now.
204
00:09:28,697 --> 00:09:29,915
Now.
205
00:09:34,746 --> 00:09:36,226
You know, Hank,
I'm starting to think
206
00:09:36,269 --> 00:09:38,750
-they're not coming back.
-Well, damn it, Charlie,
207
00:09:38,794 --> 00:09:40,796
-the four of us
are supposed to be a team. -I know.
208
00:09:40,839 --> 00:09:43,146
Now we got no place to eat
Thanksgiving dinner.
209
00:09:43,189 --> 00:09:44,974
Well...
210
00:09:46,062 --> 00:09:47,846
Ah!
211
00:09:49,152 --> 00:09:51,763
The natives have arrived
on Dudley Rock.
212
00:09:51,807 --> 00:09:53,852
I bid thee welcome.
213
00:09:54,940 --> 00:09:56,376
[Charlie groans]
214
00:10:05,298 --> 00:10:07,779
All right, you guys are up.
215
00:10:07,823 --> 00:10:10,390
Mm, perhaps one of you will
finally get a question right.
216
00:10:10,434 --> 00:10:12,697
God, I hope so.
I'm getting lightheaded.
217
00:10:12,741 --> 00:10:15,700
Do you think we could get
an appetizer on loan?
218
00:10:15,744 --> 00:10:17,354
[chuckles]
Nope.
219
00:10:17,397 --> 00:10:18,790
All right.
[clears throat]
220
00:10:18,834 --> 00:10:21,706
Name three hard
Italian cow's milk cheeses.
221
00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:23,969
Ooh, I love cheese.
I got this one.
222
00:10:27,190 --> 00:10:30,149
Remember, this is your
last chance to get an appetizer.
223
00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:35,938
Italian cheese, Sid.
Say something Italian.
224
00:10:37,243 --> 00:10:39,550
Ah-cheese-ah!
225
00:10:40,594 --> 00:10:41,726
Ah-cheese-ah...
226
00:10:41,770 --> 00:10:43,293
is not correct.
227
00:10:43,336 --> 00:10:44,860
Game over.
228
00:10:46,992 --> 00:10:50,779
You guys are all eating
appetizers; we're starving.
229
00:10:50,822 --> 00:10:52,389
Couldn't we just eat some?
230
00:10:52,432 --> 00:10:56,132
But, you didn't get
any questions right.
231
00:10:58,830 --> 00:11:00,789
Don't worry, dinner's just
around the corner.
232
00:11:00,832 --> 00:11:02,791
And it's gonna be incredible.
233
00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:04,444
[sighing]:
All right, Sid.
234
00:11:04,488 --> 00:11:06,882
As it turns out,
Murray kind of blows,
235
00:11:06,925 --> 00:11:09,972
but we've come too far
not to get that dinner.
236
00:11:10,015 --> 00:11:14,106
So-so what? Are you just gonna
waste those appetizers?
237
00:11:14,150 --> 00:11:16,761
Hmm? Oh, don't worry. They'll be
going to Woof-Gang Puck.
238
00:11:16,805 --> 00:11:19,416
Uh, just the rules of the game.
239
00:11:21,810 --> 00:11:23,942
But he didn't get
one question right.
240
00:11:23,986 --> 00:11:26,945
Name one.
One Italian cheese.
241
00:11:26,989 --> 00:11:30,601
Name one if you're such
a smart little bitch!
242
00:11:33,822 --> 00:11:36,955
He's more of a cat person.
243
00:11:41,612 --> 00:11:42,961
Where's the food, man?
244
00:11:43,005 --> 00:11:46,138
Well, the turkey just went
into the oven.
245
00:11:46,182 --> 00:11:50,447
So, our food should be ready
in a brisk four hours.
246
00:11:50,490 --> 00:11:52,928
Is that when everyone else
is gonna show up?
247
00:11:53,885 --> 00:11:56,496
Uh-huh.
248
00:11:56,540 --> 00:11:58,194
All right, man, whatever.
249
00:11:58,237 --> 00:12:00,500
Let's watch some football
until it's ready.
250
00:12:00,544 --> 00:12:03,155
And where the hell
is your couch?
251
00:12:03,199 --> 00:12:06,202
It's being reupholstered,
but, luckily,
252
00:12:06,245 --> 00:12:10,815
I have these backless stools.
253
00:12:10,859 --> 00:12:13,600
Are you kidding me?
Damn, Dudley.
254
00:12:13,644 --> 00:12:15,472
[chuckles] Backless stools?
255
00:12:15,515 --> 00:12:17,604
What is this, Venezuela?
256
00:12:17,648 --> 00:12:20,912
Are we ready for the big game?
257
00:12:20,956 --> 00:12:23,741
Well, at least we get football,
Hank. [grunts]
258
00:12:25,264 --> 00:12:27,701
What?
259
00:12:27,745 --> 00:12:29,616
Radio?
260
00:12:29,660 --> 00:12:31,314
That's right.
I don't own a TV.
261
00:12:31,357 --> 00:12:34,447
I prefer to listen to the game
and imagine the players.
262
00:12:34,491 --> 00:12:36,275
Well, you know what else you're
gonna be imagining?
263
00:12:36,319 --> 00:12:38,321
-Us being here,
'cause we're leaving. -Oh.
264
00:12:38,364 --> 00:12:42,325
I don't care if Murray
didn't invite us, we're going.
265
00:12:42,368 --> 00:12:43,630
Oh, wait, guys.
266
00:12:43,674 --> 00:12:45,676
At least stay for a beer.
267
00:12:45,719 --> 00:12:47,199
What kind of beer?
268
00:12:47,243 --> 00:12:49,158
Root.
269
00:12:54,163 --> 00:12:57,253
I know what you're doing here.
270
00:12:57,296 --> 00:13:00,125
Do you? Because
I'm beginning to wonder.
271
00:13:00,169 --> 00:13:01,910
You like Murray.
272
00:13:01,953 --> 00:13:04,260
And you're wasting your time.
273
00:13:04,303 --> 00:13:07,872
Murray isn't interested
in women.
274
00:13:07,916 --> 00:13:10,570
-Mm.
-Or men.
275
00:13:12,746 --> 00:13:15,749
He only has eyes for food.
276
00:13:15,793 --> 00:13:17,969
You're mine.
277
00:13:20,972 --> 00:13:25,237
What is in these appetizers?
278
00:13:25,281 --> 00:13:27,109
[laughing] So...
279
00:13:27,152 --> 00:13:29,938
walk me through your
typical Thanksgiving menu
280
00:13:29,981 --> 00:13:32,941
one more time so I can get it
exactly right.
281
00:13:32,984 --> 00:13:35,030
Well, basically,
if it's in a can,
282
00:13:35,073 --> 00:13:36,858
it goes in a casserole.
283
00:13:38,729 --> 00:13:41,079
That is incredible.
284
00:13:41,123 --> 00:13:44,387
Murray, they dine on casseroles.
285
00:13:44,430 --> 00:13:46,171
Oh, I love 'em.
286
00:13:46,215 --> 00:13:48,347
You can put
just about anything in 'em.
287
00:13:48,391 --> 00:13:51,394
But you cannot skip the glue
288
00:13:51,437 --> 00:13:53,962
that holds it all together:
the American cheese.
289
00:13:54,005 --> 00:13:55,615
-[groans]
-Oh, my God.
290
00:13:57,226 --> 00:14:00,185
I'd rather eat a bullet
than American cheese.
291
00:14:00,229 --> 00:14:02,622
Oh, we all would, Francine.
We all would.
292
00:14:02,666 --> 00:14:04,059
But don't worry.
293
00:14:04,102 --> 00:14:05,103
-Tonight we dine in style.
-Mmm.
294
00:14:05,147 --> 00:14:07,018
-Spanakopita.
-Oh.
295
00:14:07,062 --> 00:14:09,281
-Lamb shanks that cascade
off the bone. -Yes.
296
00:14:09,325 --> 00:14:11,980
-Bacon-filled dates flown in
from Jerusalem. -Mmm.
297
00:14:12,023 --> 00:14:13,851
Okay, this all sounds
really amazing,
298
00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:16,288
but if this stuff is cooking,
why don't I smell it?
299
00:14:16,332 --> 00:14:18,203
Oh, I couldn't cook
all that here.
300
00:14:18,247 --> 00:14:21,032
Didn't you hear the man?
There's spanakopita...
301
00:14:21,076 --> 00:14:23,817
We got it, Francine!
302
00:14:23,861 --> 00:14:25,819
[stammers] A feast
of this size and scale
303
00:14:25,863 --> 00:14:28,083
could only be prepared in
a commercial kitchen.
304
00:14:28,126 --> 00:14:30,433
Uh, luckily, with Shady Meadows
closed for the holidays,
305
00:14:30,476 --> 00:14:32,000
the dining hall
was just the place.
306
00:14:32,043 --> 00:14:34,089
Okay, so when do I eat?
307
00:14:34,132 --> 00:14:35,960
Soon. Oh, very soon.
308
00:14:36,004 --> 00:14:38,180
-In fact, uh, we should
go check on our dishes. -Ah.
309
00:14:38,223 --> 00:14:40,791
Why don't we go down now,
and you two, uh,
310
00:14:40,834 --> 00:14:42,880
well, stay here
and set the table. Hmm?
311
00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:45,100
Uh, maybe, uh, clean up a bit.
312
00:14:45,143 --> 00:14:48,016
The room. And yourselves.
313
00:14:51,671 --> 00:14:54,544
Okay, this is super weird,
right?
314
00:14:54,587 --> 00:14:57,025
What is going on here?
315
00:14:57,068 --> 00:14:57,982
I'll tell you what's going on.
316
00:14:58,026 --> 00:14:59,766
You are not doing
317
00:14:59,810 --> 00:15:01,855
your share of the chores.
318
00:15:10,168 --> 00:15:12,431
They've been gone
for over an hour.
319
00:15:12,475 --> 00:15:13,998
I am ravenous.
320
00:15:14,042 --> 00:15:16,566
Who locks their refrigerator?
321
00:15:16,609 --> 00:15:18,481
Full disclosure.
322
00:15:18,524 --> 00:15:22,354
I ate a pinch of fish food
a minute ago.
323
00:15:22,398 --> 00:15:24,008
Fuller disclosure.
324
00:15:24,052 --> 00:15:26,141
I almost ate the fish.
325
00:15:26,184 --> 00:15:29,274
Screw you, Murray, I'm staying!
326
00:15:29,318 --> 00:15:31,146
Well, where's Murray?
327
00:15:31,189 --> 00:15:33,017
What are you guys doing here?
328
00:15:33,061 --> 00:15:35,454
We had no other place to go.
Y'all bailed on us.
329
00:15:35,498 --> 00:15:37,369
And we wound up at Dudley's.
330
00:15:37,413 --> 00:15:38,936
-Dudley's!
-Yeah.
331
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,285
Where the hell is everybody?
332
00:15:40,329 --> 00:15:42,070
Yeah, and where's the food?
333
00:15:42,113 --> 00:15:44,855
[scoffs] Boys,
I don't think you understand
334
00:15:44,898 --> 00:15:47,075
how classy parties work.
335
00:15:47,118 --> 00:15:51,731
You only get food if you get
the trivia questions right.
336
00:15:53,298 --> 00:15:57,302
If you get them wrong,
it goes to Murray's dog.
337
00:15:57,346 --> 00:15:59,391
So they gave your food
to the dog,
338
00:15:59,435 --> 00:16:01,263
and then the host
just left you here?
339
00:16:01,306 --> 00:16:03,221
[laughing]: Hank.
340
00:16:05,180 --> 00:16:07,269
You are hopelessly
working class.
341
00:16:07,312 --> 00:16:09,880
This is all totally normal.
342
00:16:09,923 --> 00:16:12,926
Once we set the table
and clean ourselves...
343
00:16:14,232 --> 00:16:15,538
...Murray and his friends
344
00:16:15,581 --> 00:16:17,888
will return
from the big turkey kitchen
345
00:16:17,931 --> 00:16:21,065
and we'll have a feast.
346
00:16:21,109 --> 00:16:24,242
Hearing it out loud,
it does sound a little off.
347
00:16:24,286 --> 00:16:26,201
A little off?
348
00:16:26,244 --> 00:16:28,072
You know what?
We need to go downstairs
349
00:16:28,116 --> 00:16:30,205
and find out what's going on.
350
00:16:30,248 --> 00:16:34,644
Charlie, do you know any hard
Italian cow's milk cheeses?
351
00:16:34,687 --> 00:16:38,517
Well, off the top of my head,
there's Parmesan, Romano,
352
00:16:38,561 --> 00:16:42,086
Asiago, uh, Grana Padano,
there's...
353
00:16:42,130 --> 00:16:45,220
Damn it, I picked
the wrong plus-one.
354
00:16:46,395 --> 00:16:48,092
Well, we pulled it off.
355
00:16:48,136 --> 00:16:49,876
For the first time in years,
356
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,314
our Thanksgiving finally had
a little excitement.
357
00:16:52,357 --> 00:16:55,317
Can you believe they're still up
there cleaning my apartment?
358
00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,362
And they're still expecting to
have a delicious dinner.
359
00:16:57,406 --> 00:17:01,714
The very delicious dinner that
we're eating right now.
360
00:17:01,758 --> 00:17:04,108
Oh, those peasants are going
to be as bitter
361
00:17:04,152 --> 00:17:07,155
-as in-season radicchio.
-[Murray laughs]
362
00:17:07,198 --> 00:17:10,941
Why play with one's food when
you can play with people?
363
00:17:10,984 --> 00:17:12,986
-Huh? [chuckles]
-[Francine laughs]
364
00:17:13,030 --> 00:17:15,032
I knew they were food snobs,
365
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:17,513
but these people
are sociopaths.
366
00:17:17,556 --> 00:17:21,299
It's bad that I still find him
attractive, isn't it?
367
00:17:21,343 --> 00:17:25,173
Uh-uh, I-I get it.
368
00:17:25,216 --> 00:17:28,350
Are we ever gonna eat?
369
00:17:28,393 --> 00:17:31,179
Did you see the bottle of wine
that woman brought?
370
00:17:31,222 --> 00:17:35,008
There was a price tag on
the bottom. $17.99.
371
00:17:35,052 --> 00:17:36,140
[all laugh]
372
00:17:36,184 --> 00:17:37,533
Why are they laughing?
373
00:17:37,576 --> 00:17:40,797
Well, is it too high or too low?
374
00:17:45,193 --> 00:17:48,631
Who would do something that
horrible on Thanksgiving?
375
00:17:48,674 --> 00:17:50,937
Yeah, I bet you're feeling
pretty crappy
376
00:17:50,981 --> 00:17:52,330
you ditched us for them, huh?
377
00:17:52,374 --> 00:17:54,158
You know what? I am.
378
00:17:54,202 --> 00:17:56,291
I abandoned my friends,
and for what?
379
00:17:56,334 --> 00:17:58,293
Food that I never even
got to eat,
380
00:17:58,336 --> 00:18:02,297
and the most sadistic game
of trivia I've ever played.
381
00:18:02,340 --> 00:18:06,953
Yeah, well, at least you didn't
lose out to a freakin' dog.
382
00:18:06,997 --> 00:18:09,826
I'm sorry we messed up
your Thanksgiving Day, guys.
383
00:18:09,869 --> 00:18:11,871
No, the day's still young.
384
00:18:11,915 --> 00:18:14,178
We're about to find out what
Thanksgiving is really about.
385
00:18:14,222 --> 00:18:17,529
Yeah. Naps.
386
00:18:17,573 --> 00:18:19,227
No, Charlie.
387
00:18:19,270 --> 00:18:21,446
Friends. Together.
388
00:18:21,490 --> 00:18:25,320
Exacting sweet revenge on those
douchebags who harmed 'em.
389
00:18:25,363 --> 00:18:26,364
Who's with me?
390
00:18:26,408 --> 00:18:28,845
SID/MARGARET/CHARLIE:
We are.
391
00:18:35,939 --> 00:18:37,332
-Here it is.
-Ah.
392
00:18:37,375 --> 00:18:39,421
My famous pecan soufflé.
393
00:18:39,464 --> 00:18:41,205
Maybe we should find another
couple of rubes
394
00:18:41,249 --> 00:18:44,077
-and do this again next year.
-[Murray chuckles]
395
00:18:44,121 --> 00:18:48,604
Indeed. I haven't smiled
this much in a long time.
396
00:18:51,824 --> 00:18:55,654
You know, we may not need
to find other rubes.
397
00:18:55,698 --> 00:18:59,919
I'm not so sure we couldn't
do it again to these idiots.
398
00:18:59,963 --> 00:19:03,227
Oh, you mean us idiots?
399
00:19:03,271 --> 00:19:05,229
Yes, yes, I do.
400
00:19:05,273 --> 00:19:06,361
[gasps] Oh.
401
00:19:06,404 --> 00:19:09,625
We're busted. Ooh.
402
00:19:09,668 --> 00:19:11,888
Well, what are you going
to do about it?
403
00:19:11,931 --> 00:19:14,804
We finished dinner and we're
almost done with dessert.
404
00:19:14,847 --> 00:19:16,893
You're right, Francine.
You won.
405
00:19:16,936 --> 00:19:19,417
You are so much smarter
than we are.
406
00:19:19,461 --> 00:19:21,332
So much so that we would like
407
00:19:21,376 --> 00:19:23,073
to play a little game of trivia
with you.
408
00:19:23,116 --> 00:19:24,509
-What? Oh, well, very well.
-[chuckles]
409
00:19:24,553 --> 00:19:26,163
-Shoot.
-All right.
410
00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:27,469
See if you can name
all the ingredients
411
00:19:27,512 --> 00:19:29,384
in that soufflé
that you're eating.
412
00:19:29,427 --> 00:19:31,908
Well, that's easy.
Butter, eggs, pecans...
413
00:19:31,951 --> 00:19:34,389
Ah, you forgot
the secret ingredients
414
00:19:34,432 --> 00:19:36,521
we slipped in there
when y'all were having dinner.
415
00:19:36,565 --> 00:19:39,524
Yeah, that's right.
The soufflé needed
416
00:19:39,568 --> 00:19:42,484
some sort of glue
to hold it together.
417
00:19:42,527 --> 00:19:47,880
The glue known as...
American cheese.
418
00:19:47,924 --> 00:19:50,143
-[gasps, whimpers]
-Oh, no, no, no, no.
419
00:19:50,187 --> 00:19:51,710
[stammers] You can't be serious.
420
00:19:51,754 --> 00:19:55,540
MARGARET: You all are eating
pure American cheese.
421
00:19:55,584 --> 00:19:58,151
Zero percent dairy.
422
00:19:58,195 --> 00:20:00,415
Murray? What's happening?
423
00:20:00,458 --> 00:20:03,069
Am I poor now?
424
00:20:03,113 --> 00:20:05,942
You bums.
You-you bums!
425
00:20:05,985 --> 00:20:08,553
Oh, shut up, you Australian
son of a bitch.
426
00:20:08,597 --> 00:20:10,207
Yeah, that's what you get
for messing
427
00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:11,426
-with this crew, Murray.
-Yeah.
428
00:20:11,469 --> 00:20:13,384
[gagging]
429
00:20:14,777 --> 00:20:17,432
[laughing] Oh, revenge is sweet.
430
00:20:17,475 --> 00:20:19,129
[Sid sighs]
431
00:20:19,172 --> 00:20:22,175
Not as sweet as food, though.
We need to eat something.
432
00:20:22,219 --> 00:20:26,005
Well, let's go to my apartment.
I'll whip up some casseroles.
433
00:20:26,049 --> 00:20:27,790
Well, not an option.
434
00:20:27,833 --> 00:20:31,315
We, uh, we trashed the place.
435
00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:33,491
Well, what are we gonna do?
436
00:20:33,535 --> 00:20:35,667
MARGARET:
Oh, man, I was so hungry.
437
00:20:35,711 --> 00:20:37,713
-[laughter]
-[radio plays indistinctly]
438
00:20:37,756 --> 00:20:40,585
[overlapping chatter]
439
00:20:40,629 --> 00:20:42,587
You know, I got to tell you,
Dudley,
440
00:20:42,631 --> 00:20:45,547
I-I actually enjoy imagining
the players.
441
00:20:45,590 --> 00:20:47,549
-It's nice, isn't it?
-It is.
442
00:20:47,592 --> 00:20:49,420
Yeah. I-I'm sure glad
you all came over.
443
00:20:49,464 --> 00:20:51,596
You really turned my day around.
444
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:53,685
Aw. This has been great.
445
00:20:53,729 --> 00:20:56,340
I can't believe I thought
Thanksgiving with Murray
446
00:20:56,384 --> 00:20:58,429
was gonna be better
than you guys.
447
00:20:58,473 --> 00:20:59,822
Nothing's better than us,
Margaret.
448
00:20:59,865 --> 00:21:01,563
You should know that by now.
449
00:21:01,606 --> 00:21:04,435
Hey, happy Thanksgiving,
everybody.
450
00:21:04,479 --> 00:21:06,394
ALL:
Happy Thanksgiving.
451
00:21:06,437 --> 00:21:08,396
Yeah, happy Thanksgiving.
452
00:21:08,439 --> 00:21:12,051
Now can we please turn
this damn football off?
453
00:21:12,095 --> 00:21:14,793
-Uh-oh.
-And rock and roll! -Whoa.
454
00:21:14,837 --> 00:21:17,927
♪ Take them old potatoes
off the shelf ♪
455
00:21:17,970 --> 00:21:21,017
♪ I'm gonna bake 'em all
by myself ♪
456
00:21:21,060 --> 00:21:22,627
Go, Sid.
457
00:21:22,671 --> 00:21:23,715
♪ Those psycho foodies
458
00:21:23,759 --> 00:21:25,587
-♪ Ain't got no soul
-Uh-huh.
459
00:21:25,630 --> 00:21:27,937
♪ I want an old-time casserole
460
00:21:27,980 --> 00:21:32,637
-MARGARET: Yeah, Sid!
-[all laugh]
461
00:21:32,681 --> 00:21:34,378
MAN:
That's pretty good.
462
00:21:34,428 --> 00:21:38,978
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