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1
00:00:01,270 --> 00:00:03,080
Everything sucks!
2
00:00:03,130 --> 00:00:05,400
It's not fair,
There's only three payments left!
3
00:00:05,450 --> 00:00:08,810
- They can't take it
if you're laying on it! - I'm sacking you.
4
00:00:11,810 --> 00:00:13,320
Are you trying to have sex with me?
5
00:00:13,370 --> 00:00:14,810
Not immediately!
6
00:00:17,690 --> 00:00:19,400
Steven's sending me out to New York.
7
00:00:19,450 --> 00:00:20,680
What?
8
00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:25,240
If you get on that plane,
our marriage is over.
9
00:00:25,290 --> 00:00:27,090
We didn't, did we?
10
00:00:28,650 --> 00:00:32,160
Judging by the evidence,
I'd say we probably got freaky.
11
00:00:52,570 --> 00:00:55,120
What the hell do you mean
you're not sure?
12
00:00:55,170 --> 00:00:58,080
Well, it's not that I'm not into
him. It's just...
13
00:00:58,130 --> 00:01:01,960
since we got together
he is so into me.
14
00:01:02,010 --> 00:01:05,360
Oh, my God, it's like watching
someone torture a puppy!
15
00:01:05,410 --> 00:01:07,480
You need to stop messing him around!
16
00:01:07,530 --> 00:01:11,160
Yeah, I guess you're right.
For his sake.
17
00:01:11,210 --> 00:01:14,400
For my sake!
I am so sick of hearing about it.
18
00:01:14,450 --> 00:01:17,960
Just make up your mind. In, or out.
19
00:01:18,010 --> 00:01:19,720
Well, I don't want OUT out.
20
00:01:19,770 --> 00:01:22,680
I just don't want to get in any
deeper right now.
21
00:01:22,730 --> 00:01:25,040
Fine. Just tell him that.
22
00:01:25,090 --> 00:01:26,280
OK, I will.
23
00:01:26,330 --> 00:01:30,080
But actually do. Don't just make
those non-committal noises you always make
24
00:01:30,130 --> 00:01:31,720
when you're trying to duck
the issue.
25
00:01:31,770 --> 00:01:35,520
All right. I'll talk to him. But...
I'm not...
26
00:01:35,570 --> 00:01:38,720
You're doing it!
Those are the noises!
27
00:01:38,770 --> 00:01:40,840
And that is the face you
always pull!
28
00:01:40,890 --> 00:01:43,880
For God's sake, just make a decision
and commit to it.
29
00:01:43,930 --> 00:01:46,360
But I'm saying
I don't want to commit.
30
00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:48,610
So say that. With commitment.
31
00:01:51,410 --> 00:01:53,450
Well, when did this arrive?
32
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:59,200
What's going on?
33
00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:02,560
Nothing.
We're being kicked out of our home.
34
00:02:02,610 --> 00:02:06,570
Wh...? Your father is
sitting on the eviction notice.
35
00:02:11,850 --> 00:02:13,280
Bloody hell!
36
00:02:13,330 --> 00:02:17,080
Don't worry, Jamie. Me and your dad
will work something out.
37
00:02:17,130 --> 00:02:18,800
Well, probably just me.
38
00:02:18,850 --> 00:02:23,200
Listen, if we're struggling,
I want to contribute, too.
39
00:02:23,250 --> 00:02:26,080
I want you to use my college fund.
40
00:02:26,130 --> 00:02:28,960
Aww, thanks, son.
41
00:02:29,010 --> 00:02:30,800
That's a really noble gesture.
42
00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:32,160
I want to help.
43
00:02:32,210 --> 00:02:35,930
The thing is,
we burnt through that months ago.
44
00:02:37,210 --> 00:02:39,760
I'm so sorry, love. But it'll be OK.
45
00:02:39,810 --> 00:02:43,720
We are not about to let a lousy
eviction notice beat us.
46
00:02:43,770 --> 00:02:44,960
No.
47
00:02:45,010 --> 00:02:47,360
We will leave of our own accord.
48
00:02:47,410 --> 00:02:49,480
What?
49
00:02:49,530 --> 00:02:52,480
I'm going to ring work
and ask for some overtime.
50
00:02:52,530 --> 00:02:55,120
And your dad will
use his considerable free time
51
00:02:55,170 --> 00:02:57,410
to find us
somewhere new to live.
52
00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:06,720
I can't believe you
spent my college fund!
53
00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:08,680
Yep...
54
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,200
Where the hell are my car keys?
55
00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:13,000
I've no idea.
56
00:03:13,050 --> 00:03:15,840
If you talk to your mother
can you ask her where
57
00:03:15,890 --> 00:03:17,410
she put the bloody spares?
58
00:03:18,530 --> 00:03:20,960
Or even actually just a steer,
59
00:03:21,010 --> 00:03:25,170
so I can narrow my search to a more
manageable number of handbags.
60
00:03:27,050 --> 00:03:30,720
Don't suppose you've
heard from her at all?
61
00:03:30,770 --> 00:03:33,920
Not recently, no.
When is she coming back?
62
00:03:33,970 --> 00:03:35,810
I haven't a clue.
63
00:03:37,010 --> 00:03:39,080
You know, you could call her.
64
00:03:39,130 --> 00:03:40,520
I'm not calling her!
65
00:03:40,570 --> 00:03:44,080
Oh, I wish you two would just
get over it. You just had a row.
66
00:03:44,130 --> 00:03:47,600
I had a row, she escalated
it into an international incident.
67
00:03:47,650 --> 00:03:50,880
Well, maybe I'll be
the UN, I'll call her.
68
00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:53,970
Do. And tell her
if she doesn't come back soon she may as well not bother.
69
00:04:05,650 --> 00:04:08,640
What a lovely
surprise for Daddy, hey?
70
00:04:08,690 --> 00:04:10,880
And he can see if those
teeth are coming through yet.
71
00:04:10,930 --> 00:04:13,320
Are they coming through? Are they?
72
00:04:13,370 --> 00:04:14,640
Let me have a look. Are they?
73
00:04:14,690 --> 00:04:16,960
Ow! Yeah, they are!
74
00:04:17,010 --> 00:04:18,490
Yeah...
75
00:04:22,410 --> 00:04:24,600
I thought we might have a chat.
76
00:04:24,650 --> 00:04:27,040
Oh, God, yes, we need to talk.
77
00:04:27,090 --> 00:04:28,400
Great, OK.
78
00:04:28,450 --> 00:04:31,520
I don't want you to worry,
it's going to be fine. OK.
79
00:04:31,570 --> 00:04:33,250
What's going to be fine?
80
00:04:34,370 --> 00:04:39,160
My parents got an eviction notice
this morning. We've lost the house!
81
00:04:39,210 --> 00:04:40,640
That doesn't sound fine!
82
00:04:40,690 --> 00:04:44,360
I know, but I don't want you to
worry. We'll manage. Right.
83
00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:48,240
Yeah. And actually, it's given me
this unbelievable focus
84
00:04:48,290 --> 00:04:49,640
and determination.
85
00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:50,720
Really?
86
00:04:50,770 --> 00:04:52,130
SQUEAKY: Mm-hmm, yeah.
87
00:04:53,290 --> 00:04:54,650
Yeah, I'm just like...
88
00:04:55,890 --> 00:04:57,320
..bring it on!
89
00:04:57,370 --> 00:04:59,360
I'm stepping up.
90
00:04:59,410 --> 00:05:01,530
I can take on anything...
91
00:05:02,730 --> 00:05:05,040
Are you...crying?
92
00:05:05,090 --> 00:05:06,160
No.
93
00:05:06,210 --> 00:05:07,610
Oh, Laura...
94
00:05:09,090 --> 00:05:11,200
I don't know what
I would do without you and Emily.
95
00:05:11,250 --> 00:05:12,280
Ahh...oh...
96
00:05:12,330 --> 00:05:15,520
You're the only thing that's
solid in my life right now.
97
00:05:15,570 --> 00:05:17,600
Ohhh...well...I...
98
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:18,810
Shhhh...
99
00:05:19,890 --> 00:05:22,640
You don't
have to say anything.
100
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:25,240
I know you're there for me.
101
00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:26,800
Solid as a rock.
102
00:05:26,850 --> 00:05:29,330
SHE WHIMPERS
103
00:05:33,490 --> 00:05:35,600
OK,
so, remember to push the specials
104
00:05:35,650 --> 00:05:37,240
and the coffee loyalty scheme.
105
00:05:37,290 --> 00:05:39,640
15 coffees
and the 16th one is free.
106
00:05:39,690 --> 00:05:43,040
Oh, you'd have to be pretty stupid
not to see the 16th one's
107
00:05:43,090 --> 00:05:44,720
costing you over �30.
108
00:05:44,770 --> 00:05:47,520
Well...that's kinda how
promotions work, though, Beth.
109
00:05:47,570 --> 00:05:50,680
If we just gave away free coffee, we
wouldn't make any money, would we?
110
00:05:50,730 --> 00:05:52,480
Hmm, but we'd have happy customers.
111
00:05:52,530 --> 00:05:55,160
Especially
if we switched to fair-trade
112
00:05:55,210 --> 00:05:57,800
and stopped exploiting
labour in the developing world.
113
00:05:57,850 --> 00:06:02,080
OK, great. Um, well, how about you
um, save up all your tips
114
00:06:02,130 --> 00:06:05,160
and then you can open your own cafe
and give away as much
115
00:06:05,210 --> 00:06:09,080
free fair-trade coffee as you want
until you go completely bankrupt? How about that?
116
00:06:09,130 --> 00:06:13,650
In the meantime perhaps you could
actually start serving some customers.
117
00:06:21,450 --> 00:06:23,280
Hello, my name's Beth.
118
00:06:23,330 --> 00:06:26,400
Can I tell you about
the breakfast specials?
119
00:06:26,450 --> 00:06:27,800
Yes, you can!
120
00:06:27,850 --> 00:06:29,360
What the hell are you doing here?
121
00:06:29,410 --> 00:06:31,360
I'm sorry
I haven't been in touch.
122
00:06:31,410 --> 00:06:34,280
It's just the way I roll.
You've called me 15 times.
123
00:06:34,330 --> 00:06:36,120
Must've sat on my phone.
124
00:06:36,170 --> 00:06:37,760
And left 15 messages?
125
00:06:37,810 --> 00:06:41,160
Look, who called who isn't
important. I'm here now.
126
00:06:41,210 --> 00:06:44,840
So, er,
we can pick up where we left off.
127
00:06:44,890 --> 00:06:46,760
No, we can't!
128
00:06:46,810 --> 00:06:49,880
Because nothing happened.
129
00:06:49,930 --> 00:06:53,280
Oh, Beth. You don't need to
play hard to get now.
130
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,360
Ugh!
131
00:06:54,410 --> 00:06:57,570
Can't you see,
you had me at breakfast specials.
132
00:06:59,730 --> 00:07:01,840
If you ever...
133
00:07:01,890 --> 00:07:06,440
ever mention that night to anyone,
I will see to it that
134
00:07:06,490 --> 00:07:09,840
you are physically unable to ever
repeat the experience, got it?
135
00:07:09,890 --> 00:07:11,520
Mmmm!
136
00:07:11,570 --> 00:07:13,330
Ow! Got it!
137
00:07:15,050 --> 00:07:17,600
And those are the breakfast
specials.
138
00:07:17,650 --> 00:07:21,360
OK, I will have the
cappuccino, please,
139
00:07:21,410 --> 00:07:23,880
with chocolate sprinkles
and a little heart in the milk.
140
00:07:23,930 --> 00:07:25,520
Unlikely.
141
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:28,400
Um, Beth, have we told our customer
here about the...
142
00:07:28,450 --> 00:07:30,200
coffee loyalty scheme?
143
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:33,840
No, we haven't. Silly us.
144
00:07:33,890 --> 00:07:38,480
Um, if you buy 15 coffees
you get the 16th one free.
145
00:07:38,530 --> 00:07:40,800
Free? That's brilliant!
146
00:07:40,850 --> 00:07:44,360
All right, I will have two coffees,
please, in one cup.
147
00:07:44,410 --> 00:07:45,560
Counts as one.
148
00:07:45,610 --> 00:07:48,400
OK, separate cups, then.
And two for my friend.
149
00:07:48,450 --> 00:07:49,850
What friend?
150
00:07:52,770 --> 00:07:54,240
Not a word!
151
00:07:54,290 --> 00:07:57,240
What? Jamie doesn't count! He's
my best friend, we share everything.
152
00:07:57,290 --> 00:07:58,360
To anyone!
153
00:07:58,410 --> 00:08:00,120
OK, I won't tell him.
154
00:08:00,170 --> 00:08:02,130
But if he asks me
about it I am not going to lie.
155
00:08:07,266 --> 00:08:10,976
So, usually when we're maximising
value for money, we ask our clients
156
00:08:11,026 --> 00:08:14,736
to prioritise three key elements -
location, size or condition.
157
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:17,256
Size.
Location and condition!
158
00:08:17,306 --> 00:08:19,896
Oh, no, condition's no problem.
I could always do it up.
159
00:08:19,946 --> 00:08:23,506
On second thoughts...
condition, condition, condition!
160
00:08:25,386 --> 00:08:28,656
So which of the key
elements are we prioritising here?
161
00:08:28,706 --> 00:08:31,136
Oh, believe it or not, it's
a very sought-after spot.
162
00:08:31,186 --> 00:08:32,416
SIREN WAILS
163
00:08:32,466 --> 00:08:33,976
Shall we... Shall we look inside?
164
00:08:34,026 --> 00:08:36,856
Stop! Police! Er, yes quickly,
inside, inside, go, go, go.
165
00:08:36,906 --> 00:08:40,146
He's heading up Masons Alley
towards North Street!
166
00:08:44,426 --> 00:08:46,896
As you can see, it's got
bags of character, er,
167
00:08:46,946 --> 00:08:49,656
plenty of room for development.
168
00:08:49,706 --> 00:08:52,176
The last owner clearly had
quite strong tastes.
169
00:08:52,226 --> 00:08:53,736
Quite a strong smell.
170
00:08:53,786 --> 00:08:55,266
Ergh...
171
00:08:57,346 --> 00:09:00,696
Is that where they found her?
172
00:09:00,746 --> 00:09:02,936
Er, yes. Yes, that's correct.
Right...
173
00:09:02,986 --> 00:09:04,256
FLIES BUZZ
174
00:09:04,306 --> 00:09:07,616
Oh, if you look here, er,
there's the original fireplace.
175
00:09:07,666 --> 00:09:08,906
Oh! That's, er...
176
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:15,616
TRAIN ROARS PAST
177
00:09:15,666 --> 00:09:19,176
HE YELLS: It's convenient for
transport links! What?
178
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:23,186
CONVENIENT FOR TRANSPORT LINKS!
179
00:09:32,666 --> 00:09:34,786
And this one
comes with an en-suite!
180
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,976
Oh, sweet Jesus!
181
00:09:42,026 --> 00:09:44,096
'One second, Laura.
182
00:09:44,146 --> 00:09:47,016
'Hunter, make sure we get
the amendments for those contracts ASAP.'
183
00:09:47,066 --> 00:09:49,416
MAN WITH AMERICAN ACCENT:
'Sure, no problem.'
184
00:09:49,466 --> 00:09:52,976
'Darling, how lovely to see you!
I am missing you so much.'
185
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:54,456
Oh, me too.
186
00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:56,856
'But I do have a meeting
so be quick!' Oh.
187
00:09:56,906 --> 00:10:00,456
Why are you still there?
I thought you would be back by now.
188
00:10:00,506 --> 00:10:05,416
'Well, my assignment here is...
sort of open-ended.
189
00:10:05,466 --> 00:10:10,056
'Didn't your father tell you?'
No! What is going on with you two?
190
00:10:10,106 --> 00:10:12,816
'Darling, he issued me
with an ultimatum!
191
00:10:12,866 --> 00:10:15,096
'I do not appreciate being
pushed around.
192
00:10:15,146 --> 00:10:18,256
'He needs to be a little bit more
understanding of my career.'
193
00:10:18,306 --> 00:10:20,016
Why can't you tell him that?
194
00:10:20,066 --> 00:10:22,296
'Oh, there's no point,
he's clearly sulking.'
195
00:10:22,346 --> 00:10:24,936
He's not sulking.
I think he's really upset.
196
00:10:24,986 --> 00:10:28,096
'Oh, he's sticking with it, is he?
Well, fine, if he wants a divorce,
197
00:10:28,146 --> 00:10:30,856
'he'd better get ready to hand over
50% of everything...'
198
00:10:30,906 --> 00:10:34,416
Divorce? No,
who said anything about divorce?
199
00:10:34,466 --> 00:10:39,016
'Janet, your driver's here.
And I've confirmed your reservation for Caprinis for 12:30.'
200
00:10:39,066 --> 00:10:41,256
'Thank you, Hunter.
Darling, I'd really better go.
201
00:10:41,306 --> 00:10:43,136
'Tell him he is ruining me.'
202
00:10:43,186 --> 00:10:44,776
Mum, you can't just use me as a...
203
00:10:44,826 --> 00:10:47,386
'Bye, darling. Mwah, mwah, mwah,
mwah, mwah. Bye-bye!'
204
00:10:49,466 --> 00:10:51,216
It's quite a busy road.
205
00:10:51,266 --> 00:10:53,776
Yeah, but look at it. It's great!
206
00:10:53,826 --> 00:10:57,706
And it's got a garage!
Hey, this feels more like it.
207
00:11:03,106 --> 00:11:05,906
Oh, er,
we're not seeing the house first?
208
00:11:09,906 --> 00:11:12,576
This IS the house...isn't it?
209
00:11:12,626 --> 00:11:14,536
It is somewhat bijoux,
210
00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:16,906
but it is officially
classed as a separate dwelling!
211
00:11:23,426 --> 00:11:27,616
So, terribly easy to maintain,
as you can see. A real blank canvas.
212
00:11:27,666 --> 00:11:31,376
If you were to just...
Ollie! Maybe a bit less of the "bijoux" bollocks
213
00:11:31,426 --> 00:11:33,816
and a bit more calling
a spade a spade.
214
00:11:33,866 --> 00:11:35,906
Well, I guess it is pretty small...
215
00:11:37,106 --> 00:11:39,696
Bloody small, actually! Minuscule!
216
00:11:39,746 --> 00:11:41,506
Bloody fucking tiny!
217
00:11:43,466 --> 00:11:46,216
I think perhaps,
with some extra overtime,
218
00:11:46,266 --> 00:11:48,736
we could afford to aim
just a little bit higher.
219
00:11:48,786 --> 00:11:53,146
Ah, um, I've already had to double
your budget just to get us on the map.
220
00:11:54,906 --> 00:11:56,786
I'll leave you to get
a feel for the place.
221
00:12:03,506 --> 00:12:04,666
Look at us.
222
00:12:07,306 --> 00:12:08,706
I've let everyone down.
223
00:12:12,506 --> 00:12:14,866
We can't even afford
a bloody garage!
224
00:12:16,346 --> 00:12:18,376
Of course we can!
225
00:12:18,426 --> 00:12:22,016
Just not a garage in such
a respectable area.
226
00:12:22,066 --> 00:12:26,176
It's the end of the road, San,
we've got nowhere to go.
227
00:12:26,226 --> 00:12:28,656
Keith, I grew up in a shitey
little hovel
228
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:32,336
that stunk like a cow's arse,
with me Ma, and Da and Evelyn.
229
00:12:32,386 --> 00:12:34,576
And you know what?
230
00:12:34,626 --> 00:12:38,816
I realised,
life is not about where you are.
231
00:12:38,866 --> 00:12:40,576
It's about who you're with!
232
00:12:40,626 --> 00:12:43,096
You told me you couldn't wait to
get away from 'em!
233
00:12:43,146 --> 00:12:44,376
Exactly!
234
00:12:44,426 --> 00:12:46,416
I was fine with the cow's
arse stink.
235
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,946
It was me bloody family
I couldn't stand!
236
00:12:51,546 --> 00:12:55,136
What I'm trying to say is,
I don't need luxury,
237
00:12:55,186 --> 00:13:00,976
or charming original features,
because any home is perfect,
238
00:13:01,026 --> 00:13:03,536
as long as I'm with the man I love.
239
00:13:03,586 --> 00:13:05,266
Huh?
240
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:11,536
You and me,
Jamie, Emily, we are a family.
241
00:13:11,586 --> 00:13:15,016
And we keep our home right here!
242
00:13:15,066 --> 00:13:16,466
In our fists.
243
00:13:17,826 --> 00:13:18,986
In our hearts, Keith.
244
00:13:20,946 --> 00:13:22,666
Hearts? Hearts.
245
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,670
Excuse me?
246
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,630
She's just being so understanding
and supportive.
247
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:41,230
It's like there's no secrets or
agendas any more!
248
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,230
Yeah, I know exactly what you mean!
249
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:46,230
You've known someone for ages
and then suddenly,
250
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:48,200
you just have this new,
special connection.
251
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:51,550
Where shall I stamp this?
252
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:56,560
Right here.
Only five more and I get one free!
253
00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:02,110
Excuse me!
254
00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:03,560
I'm busy!
255
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:07,630
It's good that you can have such
a supportive, honest relationship.
256
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,870
Excuse me! What?!
257
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:12,200
Sorry, I ordered a coffee.
258
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,440
What?!
259
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:17,880
Happy?
260
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,840
Oi! Don't think you're taking
my loyalty points for that coffee!
261
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,960
PHONE RINGS
262
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:30,350
PHONE BLEEPS
263
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,070
That was him, wasn't it?
264
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,960
No.
265
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:37,670
All right, I know, I know.
266
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:40,630
The longer you leave it
the worse it'll get.
267
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:41,710
It's just, it's hard!
268
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,470
I've got a lot going
on at the moment with Mum and Dad.
269
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,470
They're talking divorce now.
270
00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:50,870
Oh, you hear that, Em?
Two broken homes, how cool are you?
271
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,150
Oh, for f...! Dan!
272
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,920
Jamie and I do not constitute
a broken home!
273
00:14:56,920 --> 00:15:00,030
My parents just need to bloody
talk to each other!
274
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:01,830
Hmm, they're not the only ones.
275
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:05,000
Oh, all right, I know.
I'm going to talk to him!
276
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,470
When the time is right.
277
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:12,830
This one is so comfy,
you won't want to get out of it.
278
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:15,830
I've got one
and my husband stays in it snoring
279
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:17,870
until the middle of the day!
280
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,600
PHONE RINGS
Oh, excuse me.
281
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,070
Keith, I can't talk, I'm busy.
282
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:26,040
'Sandra, the search is over.'
283
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,510
I've found us a home.
284
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,590
No way! What's it like?
285
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:33,550
It's perfect.
Detached. Two-bedroom, family home.
286
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,910
Front and back gardens,
all mod-cons, fitted kitchen,
287
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,750
set in acres of lovely parkland.
288
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:41,150
Sounds too perfect, Keith.
We can't afford that!
289
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:44,510
Yes, we can,
cos I drove a hard bargain.
290
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:45,910
OK...
291
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:49,790
but if this place is full of
dead bodies I am not interested.
292
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:51,560
Oh, no. It's fine, relax.
293
00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,510
Hello. Oliver Courtland.
294
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:00,870
Right...
295
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,630
Ah, oh, your wife called?
296
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,790
Asked me to value the house.
Urgently.
297
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:08,470
My wife is in New York. Why on earth
would she want the house valued?
298
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:10,830
Oh! God!
299
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:12,510
You weren't aware of this?
300
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:15,350
No, I bloody wasn't. Were you?
I didn't think she meant it.
301
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,670
She just said if it came to
divorce...
302
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:20,110
Divorce! If she wants a divorce
she can have one.
303
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,870
If! She said if! Perhaps I should
come back at a convenient time?
304
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,670
Stay right there.
Oh, absolutely.
305
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,350
And what's more, you're
telling my wife that not only
306
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,110
am I having the house valued, I
am putting it on the market. Today.
307
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,310
You can't just sell the house
to get back at her!
308
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:33,870
It's not monopoly.
309
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:36,670
It'll be way too big once
it's just us.
310
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,550
Ignore him -
this house is not up for sale.
311
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,790
My parents just need to
talk to each other!
312
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,910
I've tried talking. She's the
one who's decided to communicate
313
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,990
through the medium of a property
salesman!
314
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,790
Look, come on.
315
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,400
Put it in the window. Today.
Priced to sell.
316
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:56,790
If you're hungry you only
had to ask.
317
00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,990
We are calling Mum. Now.
318
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:01,590
Oh, no, I really
don't want to talk.
319
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:05,390
And besides, it's not a good
time. It is a great time.
320
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:08,790
Hi, Mum. 'Darling, are you all
right? What's happened?'
321
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:11,310
Dad wants to talk to you. Now.
322
00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:15,310
'If your father wishes to
apologise, he can schedule a time with my PA in the morning.'
323
00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:18,350
Tell your mother to send
a letter to my solicitor.
324
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:19,950
Or get her PA to.
325
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,270
You're both behaving like children!
326
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,870
I'm not, she is!
327
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:25,430
' "Oh, I'm not, she is!" '
328
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:28,270
Oh, can't you see that there is more
at stake here?
329
00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:30,430
Don't you care about me and Emily?
330
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:34,350
Of course we do. 'Darling, you know
I love you both very much!
331
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,630
'It's only your father
I can't stand.'
332
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:40,590
You're both just being stupid
and proud and angry,
333
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:44,430
but somewhere, deep down,
there's still some love there.
334
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,070
And besides, Dad's been miserable.
335
00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:49,830
And, Mum, I know you miss him!
336
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:52,550
'Oh, darling,
it's four in the morning,
337
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,190
'I really do need to get some
sleep.'
338
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,270
Look, Janet, wait, Laura is right.
339
00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:02,950
We shouldn't just pretend we don't
care while our marriage falls apart.
340
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,830
I'll call the estate agent,
get him to take the house off the market.
341
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:07,910
'You put the house on the market?'
342
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,830
Well, you were getting
the house valued!
343
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,310
Losing focus a little bit
here, Dad. OK.
344
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:16,470
I am willing to give it another
go...if you are.
345
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,190
'Alan, I...'
346
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:19,870
'Baby, did I oversleep?'
347
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:21,550
Who the hell is that?
348
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:25,350
'Er, well, actually, just...
Just my PA, Hunter.'
349
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,670
He's not your PA,
he's your boyfriend!
350
00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:29,910
'No, not necessarily.
351
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,470
'Well, all right, I am seeing him,
but he is my PA.'
352
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,590
Utter bitch!
'Don't be such a hypocrite!'
353
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,870
How am I a hypocrite? 'You blame me
for having your affair,
354
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,990
'and now you're blaming me for mine.
Make your mind up!
355
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:44,190
'Are you coming for a shower, Janet?'
'Er, a little bit busy right now!'
356
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,590
'This really isn't my fault.
Your father had the choice
357
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:49,990
'of being in that shower with me
and he decided not to take it.' Right, that's it.
358
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,800
Forget everything I said,
this marriage is officially over!
359
00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:01,000
Just a few more steps, and...
360
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,160
..surprise!
361
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:10,390
Oh, no. No!
362
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:11,630
No!
363
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,590
I mean, it needs a bit of work
but it's...
364
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:16,390
It's fully functional,
it's all plumbed in, electrics.
365
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:18,550
I'm not living in a campsite!
366
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,240
No. It's a static caravan park.
367
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:26,070
And a campsite.
There's a campsite attached.
368
00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:28,230
No! No! No!
369
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,110
"I don't need luxury," you said.
370
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:33,510
"As long as I'm with the man
I love, Keith."
371
00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:36,630
Yeah, well, I've had second thoughts
and that's a load of bollocks.
372
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:39,390
I want a house! Bricks and mortar.
373
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:42,350
Not plywood and plastic laminate!
374
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,550
Oh, come on, at least come
and have a look at it.
375
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,720
I'm not living in a caravan.
376
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,310
Take me home, Keith.
377
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:54,190
Um...
378
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:57,670
Actually, this is our home.
I had to put a deposit down.
379
00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:00,080
Stop anyone
else from snapping it up!
380
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:05,830
Come on, San, it's got a little
runway and everything!
381
00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:07,510
Raahhhh! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
382
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:08,840
Good times!
383
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:18,510
Listen, I've got something to tell
you but I don't want Beth to know.
384
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:21,150
That's amazing!
I know exactly how you feel!
385
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,920
No, you don't, I haven't even told
you yet. I do! I really do!
386
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:27,430
Mike, you're shaking!
387
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,870
Are you sure you should be
drinking this much coffee?
388
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:33,030
Yeah! This is number 15.
Next one's free!
389
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:34,510
OK, listen.
390
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:38,960
I haven't even told Laura this yet,
but I've dropped out of school.
391
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,470
I'm going to get a job.
392
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:43,990
That's amazing!
393
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,390
I should join ya!
394
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:47,840
Sh, Beth's coming.
395
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:50,830
What's going on?
396
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,990
Hmm? Nothing.
397
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:57,240
We were just discussing....school!
398
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,110
He's told you, hasn't he?
399
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,270
Told me what?
400
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:03,840
I'm not stupid, you know!
401
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,870
I saw you high-fiving it
like the pathetic,
402
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:09,950
immature arsehole that you are!
403
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:13,470
SHE YELLS: OK, OK, so we slept
together, so what?!
404
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,230
Oh, thank God!
405
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,600
Finally!
406
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:23,270
So he hadn't told you?
407
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:24,470
No.
408
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,270
I've been dying to tell you!
409
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:29,070
But understandably I think Beth
wanted to take the glory.
410
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:30,630
Congratulations?
411
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,390
Thank you!
412
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,750
Please, just go! Just leave me...
413
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:38,310
Actually, Beth, I think I'm going to
celebrate! With a free coffee.
414
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:39,870
I think you owe me?
415
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:43,960
I don't owe you ANYTHING!
416
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:51,440
Um, Beth. What, um,
what's the problem here?
417
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:54,870
Did he order the meat feast?
418
00:21:54,920 --> 00:22:00,150
No.
He just completed his loyalty card.
419
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,480
Great! Well,
get the man his coffee, then.
420
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:09,590
Ah! That's the ticket.
421
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:13,230
Right, here we are -
home, sweet home!
422
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:14,630
Great....
423
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:16,350
Hey... Oh!
424
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,710
All right? Sorry, I'll just, er...
425
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,190
So, yeah, we've got
the... Got the lounge area,
426
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,430
vintage furniture...
427
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:24,870
So, what d'ya think?
428
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:26,760
It's pretty small...
429
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,550
Yeah, but ya know...
You seen the view?
430
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:31,880
Phwoooar!
431
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,950
Oh, yeah. Plenty of space OUTSIDE.
432
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,590
Yeah, it's cosy.
433
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:41,870
And there's no problem keeping warm
either cos of the, er...
434
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:45,230
No, I'd actually stay
away from the fire, it does need a bit of attention.
435
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,030
Your father's burnt himself
twice on it already.
436
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:49,440
Whoa!
437
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,790
It's OK! Don't worry,
there is a bit of a tilt!
438
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,150
I do need to look at the blocks.
439
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:57,150
Sandra, you've got to stay on
that side when we're on this side.
440
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,710
How the hell am
I supposed to make a cup of tea?!
441
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:01,430
Ahh, all right, hold on.
442
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:02,950
Do you want me to...?
443
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:06,520
No, no, you just... It's fine, just
as long as there's two...and one.
444
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:11,950
What's that?
445
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,190
Ah, that's your new bedroom!
446
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,350
There's actually only one bedroom.
447
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,670
But there's hooks for your stuff
and a little portable
448
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,670
fold-out table and cushion so you
can do your homework in the toilet.
449
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:23,960
The best seat in the house!
450
00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:28,110
Actually, I think my homework
days are over...
451
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:30,670
I know it's hard, son,
but we all have to make adjustments.
452
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:34,030
Yeah, do you know what,
we actually might become quite attached to this place.
453
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:37,030
No, we won't! We'll be out of here
as soon as your father finds a job!
454
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,150
Oh, well, I'm going to be getting
a job as well.
455
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:43,190
I've decided I need to start
behaving like a responsible adult.
456
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:44,520
So...
457
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:48,160
..I've dropped out of school.
458
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:50,470
I...
459
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,470
Yeah, now, Jamie, I think... I think
460
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:55,470
you're a bit too young to start
behaving like a responsible adult.
461
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,350
I'm 18!
462
00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:00,470
How are you going to get a decent
job without proper qualifications?
463
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,710
You'll end up at the bottom
of the pile!
464
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:04,670
Like your father!
465
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:08,750
Hey! Just hang on! Qualifications
aren't everything, you know.
466
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,320
You don't learn common
sense at university!
467
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,550
Can you both stop talking to me
like I'm a kid?
468
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:17,870
We just want what's
best for you, son.
469
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,670
I don't think either of you have
done such a good job of things,
470
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:25,200
that you're especially qualified
to tell me how to provide for my future!
471
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:38,670
And when she had finally
awoken from her long sleep,
472
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:40,750
the princess just needed
473
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:44,870
a bit of space to get her
life back together.
474
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:49,030
So the handsome prince agreed to
just back off for a bit...
475
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:50,670
COMPUTER BLEEPS
476
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,160
Oh. Sh, sh.
477
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,990
'Laura,
I'm so glad I got hold of you.'
478
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,870
Couldn't you have got your PA
to schedule a call?
479
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:05,670
'Darling. I know you're angry
with me
480
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:08,390
'but I do not want you to become
a pawn in our battle.
481
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:10,510
'So tell your father
I'm getting you a flat,
482
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:12,910
'so you don't have to live with
him.' A flat?
483
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:14,910
'Then you and Emily can
move on with your lives.
484
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,550
'And I've got somewhere to stay
when I pop back for a visit!'
485
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,830
A visit? You're not coming back?
486
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,470
'All a bit up in the air
at the moment...
487
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:23,790
'But honestly, darling,
488
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,950
'you do not want to live with
your father in a confined space.
489
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:30,040
'I tried it in the early
'90s and it nearly killed me.'
490
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:39,590
Oh, hey!
491
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,190
Jamie! Visitors!
492
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,040
Sh, sorry!
493
00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:47,430
Hiya. Hi. Here, let me take that.
494
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,390
No, maybe I should leave
this outside.
495
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:50,710
No, no. It's fine, honestly.
496
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:53,990
The caravan's
not as small as it looks.
497
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:57,470
Jamie, um, can we... Can we talk?
498
00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:58,960
Ohhh...
499
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,800
I'll just, um...
500
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:10,680
Here. Oh, thanks.
501
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:18,520
Oh! Oh.
502
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:24,750
Don't worry, I'm here for you now.
503
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:27,550
Oh, yeah, it's just...
It's really, with everything that's
504
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:31,150
going on at the moment with me,
it's very...
505
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:35,030
It's very confusing and, um...
claustrophobic.
506
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:36,750
Tell me about it!
507
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:39,710
Hm, yeah. Um, I think
I just really need some space.
508
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,030
With Emily.
509
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:45,000
Just to think about where we're
going in our lives.
510
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,520
Of course, I understand.
511
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:54,360
My mum has, um,
offered to get us a flat.
512
00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:58,390
Wow!
513
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,750
I don't know yet.
It's a big step.
514
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,270
It's all happening so suddenly.
515
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:04,360
I know.
516
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,320
But, yes!
517
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:09,910
Yes?
518
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:11,870
Yes!
519
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:15,910
I mean, if you think about it, it
couldn't have come at a better time!
520
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:18,590
Let's go for it!
Let's move in together!
521
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:21,190
Er.. Oh, I didn't... No!
522
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:23,310
And the great news is
I've dropped out of school
523
00:27:23,360 --> 00:27:25,670
so I can start
earning for all of us!
524
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:28,550
Oh...that's.... You dropped out?!
525
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:33,630
Oh, Laura!
I'm going to be YOUR rock now!
526
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,030
Oh... I...
527
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:38,680
I know, I know. I'm excited, too!
528
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,640
We're going to be so happy!
Ohhh...
529
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:48,510
Does Jamie think you're
moving in with him?
530
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,390
No!
531
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,710
Well, yeah...
but I'll set him straight.
532
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:53,790
You've got a job?
533
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:55,990
Bit of decorating. You interested?
534
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:57,030
Yeah!
535
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:58,510
Are you sellin' ice cream?
536
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:00,470
Lobster!
537
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:02,670
Are you going on a date?
538
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:03,990
Hmm.
539
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:05,430
But you're married!
540
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:06,880
Only to your mother!
541
00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:12,470
You like that.
542
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:13,720
Don't you?
543
00:28:13,770 --> 00:28:18,320
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