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1
00:00:01,453 --> 00:00:02,586
- Hey, Calvin.
2
00:00:02,621 --> 00:00:04,521
- [sniffs and clears throat]
3
00:00:04,556 --> 00:00:05,789
Guess what.
- What?
4
00:00:05,823 --> 00:00:07,356
- Got a special guest coming
by the bar tonight.
5
00:00:07,391 --> 00:00:08,690
Got a call from
the Phoenix chapter
6
00:00:08,725 --> 00:00:10,224
Of the wish it true foundation.
7
00:00:10,259 --> 00:00:12,726
They've got a terminally-ill boy
who wants to hang out with us.
8
00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:14,094
- Is he gonna die here?
9
00:00:14,128 --> 00:00:15,629
- Well, he could,
but we'll deal with that
10
00:00:15,663 --> 00:00:16,963
When it happens.
11
00:00:16,998 --> 00:00:19,232
Anyway, the woman told me
the boy's name is Zach
12
00:00:19,267 --> 00:00:22,069
And that his lifelong dream is
to be a professional bartender.
13
00:00:22,103 --> 00:00:23,371
- That's stupid.
14
00:00:23,405 --> 00:00:24,939
I always figure if you have
a lifelong dream,
15
00:00:24,973 --> 00:00:28,007
It would be something cool
like, um...
16
00:00:28,042 --> 00:00:31,243
Fitness model or Terminator.
17
00:00:31,278 --> 00:00:31,710
- Yeah, well, maybe he wants
to be a bartender
18
00:00:37,034 --> 00:00:38,568
- Basement?
19
00:00:38,602 --> 00:00:40,369
- I didn't... no.
No, no.
20
00:00:40,404 --> 00:00:42,171
Anyway, he'll be here later.
21
00:00:42,205 --> 00:00:43,572
- Cool.
22
00:00:43,606 --> 00:00:44,740
If we had a basement,
you'd tell me about it, right?
23
00:00:44,774 --> 00:00:46,041
- Yes.
24
00:00:46,075 --> 00:00:47,760
Sync by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
25
00:00:47,794 --> 00:00:51,528
- ♪ we ain't never
gonna change ♪
26
00:00:51,563 --> 00:00:55,499
♪ we ain't doing
nothing wrong ♪
27
00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:59,358
♪ we ain't never gonna change ♪
28
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:03,108
♪ so shut your mouth
and play along ♪
29
00:01:10,928 --> 00:01:13,288
[door opens]
- the hell are you doing?
30
00:01:13,322 --> 00:01:15,055
- Nothing.
- You're sniffing a sweater.
31
00:01:15,090 --> 00:01:16,855
- So?
- Is that Karen's old sweater?
32
00:01:19,422 --> 00:01:20,418
Oh, my God.
Throw it out!
33
00:01:20,453 --> 00:01:21,851
- No!
34
00:01:21,885 --> 00:01:23,616
It still has her scent on it.
I wanna keep it.
35
00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:25,712
- Ken, you guys got divorced,
like, three years ago.
36
00:01:25,746 --> 00:01:27,478
Get rid of it.
That woman was terrible.
37
00:01:27,513 --> 00:01:28,710
She practically kept
your balls in her purse.
38
00:01:28,745 --> 00:01:29,810
Throw it out.
39
00:01:29,844 --> 00:01:30,877
Give me the sweater.
40
00:01:30,911 --> 00:01:32,277
I'll throw it out for you.
- No.
41
00:01:32,311 --> 00:01:33,577
Look, okay, maybe you're right,
42
00:01:33,612 --> 00:01:36,575
But I'm gonna throw it out
myself, all right?
43
00:01:36,609 --> 00:01:38,607
It's not gonna be easy.
44
00:01:41,071 --> 00:01:42,338
- Let me tell you,
nobody's gonna remember
45
00:01:42,372 --> 00:01:44,172
The lyrics to snoop Dogg songs.
46
00:01:44,207 --> 00:01:46,474
- Hey, guys, come here.
47
00:01:46,508 --> 00:01:47,875
You're not gonna believe this.
- What's up?
48
00:01:47,909 --> 00:01:49,576
- I was just in the office
and I caught Ken
49
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,844
Sniffing his ex-wife's
sweater.
50
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:54,345
- Eww.
- Yeah, that's effed up, right?
51
00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:56,213
I think we need to help Ken
get over Karen, okay?
52
00:01:56,247 --> 00:01:57,847
I think we all know
the way to do that.
53
00:01:57,882 --> 00:01:59,681
- [giggles] yeah.
54
00:01:59,716 --> 00:02:01,149
- [chuckles] yeah.
55
00:02:01,183 --> 00:02:03,950
[laughing harder]
56
00:02:03,985 --> 00:02:05,852
- Calvin?
57
00:02:05,886 --> 00:02:09,851
Calvin, do you know
what I mean?
58
00:02:09,886 --> 00:02:12,853
Okay, I meant we need
to get Ken laid.
59
00:02:12,887 --> 00:02:14,921
Ken hasn't had pussy since
he broke up with Karen.
60
00:02:14,955 --> 00:02:16,221
Pardon my language.
- Oh, wow.
61
00:02:16,255 --> 00:02:19,522
- First person to get Ken laid
wins $1,000 for me.
62
00:02:19,557 --> 00:02:21,024
- I have the perfect girl
for him.
63
00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:22,591
She'll have sex with anything.
64
00:02:22,625 --> 00:02:25,054
- Trevan, let me talk to mom.
65
00:02:25,089 --> 00:02:27,253
- Hey, I thought you
were gonna throw that out.
66
00:02:27,287 --> 00:02:29,419
- Nah, I'm gonna take it
to my storage locker instead.
67
00:02:29,454 --> 00:02:31,317
- What storage locker?
68
00:02:43,704 --> 00:02:46,537
This looks like
a serial killer's lair.
69
00:02:46,571 --> 00:02:49,271
- It's just some old stuff
I'm hanging on to.
70
00:02:49,305 --> 00:02:52,839
- This is all the stuff you gave
Karen during your marriage?
71
00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:55,306
Oh, my God, Ken.
Look at this place.
72
00:02:55,340 --> 00:02:57,240
- You're making a big deal
out of nothing.
73
00:02:57,274 --> 00:02:58,707
- Oh, my God.
74
00:02:58,741 --> 00:03:00,007
You built a shrine to Karen.
75
00:03:00,041 --> 00:03:02,475
- It's not a shrine.
- It is a shrine!
76
00:03:02,509 --> 00:03:03,742
You got to get rid
of this stuff, Ken.
77
00:03:03,776 --> 00:03:04,776
- No.
78
00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:06,109
What if Karen comes back
79
00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:08,077
And she finds out I've thrown
out all her stuff?
80
00:03:08,111 --> 00:03:10,044
- She wants no memory
of you and you want
81
00:03:10,078 --> 00:03:11,678
Every memory of her.
82
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:13,145
That's exactly what's going on.
83
00:03:13,180 --> 00:03:15,213
- We're having a hiccup
in our relationship.
84
00:03:15,247 --> 00:03:17,113
- You got to move on
and the first thing to do
85
00:03:17,148 --> 00:03:19,581
Is get rid of all of this junk.
86
00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:21,715
All you need is a little
momentum, all right?
87
00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:22,882
Trust me.
It's not gonna be easy,
88
00:03:22,917 --> 00:03:24,217
But it'll be quick.
89
00:03:24,251 --> 00:03:27,218
[soft pop music]
90
00:03:27,252 --> 00:03:33,254
♪ ♪
91
00:03:46,728 --> 00:03:48,794
- [gasping]
92
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:51,162
- They're just things.
They're just things.
93
00:03:53,532 --> 00:03:56,432
- So every great bartender has
his own way of, like,
94
00:03:56,467 --> 00:03:58,734
Organizing his liquors
and stuff.
95
00:03:58,768 --> 00:04:00,335
The way I like to do it is,
like,
96
00:04:00,369 --> 00:04:03,737
"brown" goes "down" there.
97
00:04:03,772 --> 00:04:06,806
And if it's "clear"
I put it over "here."
98
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,307
And then all, like, the juices
99
00:04:08,341 --> 00:04:10,842
And the different colored
ones just go anywhere.
100
00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:12,209
- You need to get organized.
101
00:04:12,244 --> 00:04:13,777
You might want to start
with the whiskeys,
102
00:04:13,812 --> 00:04:16,713
Single-malt, Irish,
blended, bourbon, rye...
103
00:04:16,747 --> 00:04:17,880
- Yeah, it's really cool that
you know all that stuff,
104
00:04:17,914 --> 00:04:19,081
But it's time to cut lemons.
105
00:04:19,115 --> 00:04:22,516
Lemons are, like,
really important in a bar.
106
00:04:22,551 --> 00:04:25,118
It's the hammer
in the bartender's toolkit.
107
00:04:25,153 --> 00:04:27,720
Cut the tips off first.
108
00:04:27,754 --> 00:04:29,888
And you got to be careful not
to cut huge pieces.
109
00:04:29,923 --> 00:04:32,156
And you can't just cut
a lemon into weird shapes,
110
00:04:32,191 --> 00:04:33,824
'cause people get mad
at you when you do that.
111
00:04:33,859 --> 00:04:35,626
And never, ever put lemons
in your mouth
112
00:04:35,660 --> 00:04:37,460
And then in someone's drink.
113
00:04:40,397 --> 00:04:42,097
You cut a whole lemon?
114
00:04:42,131 --> 00:04:43,898
That's a pretty cool machine
you got there.
115
00:04:43,933 --> 00:04:46,700
Those lemons are really...
those are pretty good.
116
00:04:46,735 --> 00:04:49,869
- All right, this is it.
117
00:04:49,904 --> 00:04:51,971
- Oh, I'm gonna keep that one.
118
00:04:52,005 --> 00:04:53,439
- What are you talking about?
119
00:04:53,474 --> 00:04:55,575
- Well, those are Karen's
teardrop angels.
120
00:04:55,609 --> 00:04:57,177
They were really special to us.
121
00:04:57,212 --> 00:04:59,180
- All right.
122
00:04:59,214 --> 00:05:00,748
- Hey!
123
00:05:00,782 --> 00:05:02,082
The hell's the matter with you?
124
00:05:02,117 --> 00:05:03,417
I just told you
that was important to me!
125
00:05:03,451 --> 00:05:04,819
- They're hideous.
You don't need 'em.
126
00:05:04,853 --> 00:05:06,687
- They're not hideous.
They're beautiful.
127
00:05:06,721 --> 00:05:08,722
Each one of those commemorates
a significant event
128
00:05:08,756 --> 00:05:10,691
In Karen and my relationship.
129
00:05:10,725 --> 00:05:13,226
That's the time we went
whale-watching in Nantucket.
130
00:05:13,261 --> 00:05:15,128
- Oh, actually, that's kind
of sentimental.
131
00:05:15,162 --> 00:05:17,063
All right.
132
00:05:17,097 --> 00:05:19,131
- You... come on!
133
00:05:19,166 --> 00:05:20,566
- You're getting rid
of everything.
134
00:05:20,601 --> 00:05:22,134
You're going cold Turkey
on Karen.
135
00:05:22,169 --> 00:05:23,603
- All right, fine.
136
00:05:23,637 --> 00:05:25,171
I'll get rid of them,
but I'm not throwing them out.
137
00:05:25,205 --> 00:05:27,440
I'm gonna put them on Ebay so
someone else can enjoy them.
138
00:05:27,474 --> 00:05:29,442
- Maybe a blind person.
- Oh, shut up.
139
00:05:29,476 --> 00:05:30,876
- That's a good joke.
- Shut up.
140
00:05:36,056 --> 00:05:38,657
- Hey, can I get
a rosewater Rickey?
141
00:05:38,692 --> 00:05:40,292
- Yeah, sure.
142
00:05:40,327 --> 00:05:42,428
It's the perfect opportunity
for me to show you
143
00:05:42,462 --> 00:05:44,630
The most important part
of being a bartender,
144
00:05:44,664 --> 00:05:46,499
Which is making drinks.
145
00:05:46,533 --> 00:05:48,367
First thing you do when someone
orders a drink
146
00:05:48,401 --> 00:05:50,336
Is you pull out
your bartender's guide.
147
00:05:50,370 --> 00:05:52,171
So you look up what he wanted
148
00:05:52,205 --> 00:05:54,206
And it'll tell you
what to put in it.
149
00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:57,309
Rosewater Rickey.
Rosewater Rickey.
150
00:05:57,344 --> 00:05:58,977
Yeah, there's no such thing
as that.
151
00:05:59,012 --> 00:06:01,914
I'm sorry.
It just doesn't exist.
152
00:06:05,485 --> 00:06:08,186
- One rosewater Rickey
coming up.
153
00:06:08,221 --> 00:06:09,788
- Thanks.
154
00:06:09,822 --> 00:06:11,823
[chuckles]
155
00:06:11,858 --> 00:06:13,892
- That's a pretty
cool looking drink.
156
00:06:13,927 --> 00:06:15,927
- Go put 'em on Ebay right now.
157
00:06:15,962 --> 00:06:20,365
- Hey, Bruce, you got to try
this rosewater Rickey.
158
00:06:20,399 --> 00:06:22,300
- Mmm.
Awesome.
159
00:06:22,335 --> 00:06:25,170
- That new kid is quite
the mixologist.
160
00:06:25,204 --> 00:06:26,438
- Calvin's not really new.
161
00:06:26,472 --> 00:06:27,639
- Oh, he's not talking
about Calvin.
162
00:06:27,673 --> 00:06:29,507
He's talking about Zach.
- Oh, my God.
163
00:06:29,542 --> 00:06:31,076
What's that kid going
behind the bar?
164
00:06:31,110 --> 00:06:33,244
- He's from the wish it
true foundation, okay?
165
00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:36,481
His dying wish is to be
a bartender for a few days.
166
00:06:36,515 --> 00:06:38,016
- He can't serve alcohol.
167
00:06:38,050 --> 00:06:39,350
We'll lose our license.
168
00:06:39,385 --> 00:06:40,885
- Yeah, I guess we could, Ken,
169
00:06:40,919 --> 00:06:43,321
Lose our measly little
alcohol vending license
170
00:06:43,355 --> 00:06:45,256
Or we could have died 30 years
ago from some illness
171
00:06:45,290 --> 00:06:46,891
In the prime of our life.
172
00:06:46,925 --> 00:06:49,260
Have a heart, tin man.
173
00:06:52,164 --> 00:06:53,964
That is good.
I'm gonna get me one.
174
00:06:53,999 --> 00:06:55,799
- Hey, Ken.
Oh, my God.
175
00:06:55,834 --> 00:06:57,101
This is so funny.
176
00:06:57,135 --> 00:06:58,702
This is Jackie.
177
00:06:58,737 --> 00:07:00,003
I've always wanted you
to meet her
178
00:07:00,038 --> 00:07:01,405
And here you guys are together.
179
00:07:01,439 --> 00:07:02,873
- Oh, hi.
How you doing?
180
00:07:02,907 --> 00:07:03,974
Nice to meet you.
- So odd.
181
00:07:04,008 --> 00:07:05,709
Why don't you guys sit down?
182
00:07:05,743 --> 00:07:07,410
- Oh, actually I got work
to do.
183
00:07:07,445 --> 00:07:11,281
- Yeah, but you can
take a quick break.
184
00:07:11,315 --> 00:07:12,749
- Okay.
185
00:07:12,783 --> 00:07:14,050
- Just take a seat.
186
00:07:14,084 --> 00:07:16,119
Get to know each other
a little bit.
187
00:07:16,153 --> 00:07:19,588
You guys are both
attractive people
188
00:07:19,622 --> 00:07:23,558
And I'm sure you both will have
a lot to talk about,
189
00:07:23,593 --> 00:07:24,960
Shared interests and whatnot.
190
00:07:24,994 --> 00:07:26,127
- Okay, okay.
We'll talk.
191
00:07:26,162 --> 00:07:27,429
- Okay.
192
00:07:27,463 --> 00:07:29,130
- Hi, attractive person.
[chuckles]
193
00:07:29,165 --> 00:07:30,331
- Hello, attractive person.
194
00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:31,733
- That was awkward.
195
00:07:31,767 --> 00:07:33,801
So where do you know Barb from?
196
00:07:33,836 --> 00:07:35,670
- Uh, we're in the same
women's circle.
197
00:07:35,704 --> 00:07:37,372
- Okay.
198
00:07:37,406 --> 00:07:39,141
- It's a place where we can just
support each other
199
00:07:39,175 --> 00:07:41,009
And empower each other.
200
00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:44,512
- Oh, my father was
in the elks.
201
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:46,314
- Sorry, you guys.
202
00:07:46,348 --> 00:07:48,649
Looks like I just
won the contest.
203
00:07:48,684 --> 00:07:50,150
- No.
- Yep.
204
00:07:50,185 --> 00:07:51,919
I just introduced Ken
to the neediest woman
205
00:07:51,953 --> 00:07:53,153
In the world, so.
206
00:07:53,187 --> 00:07:54,487
- The blonde?
207
00:07:54,522 --> 00:07:55,855
- Yeah.
208
00:07:55,890 --> 00:07:57,424
- She's not gonna go for him.
- No.
209
00:07:57,458 --> 00:08:01,328
- Looks like I will be able
to start my mall kiosk.
210
00:08:01,362 --> 00:08:04,463
- I have a problem
with suicidal tendencies.
211
00:08:04,498 --> 00:08:07,299
Uh, I think about it
and then I try it.
212
00:08:07,333 --> 00:08:10,001
That's happened a lot of times.
213
00:08:10,036 --> 00:08:11,304
- Oh.
- So.
214
00:08:11,338 --> 00:08:14,842
Yeah, um, I just haven't
been successful yet.
215
00:08:14,876 --> 00:08:16,076
You actually look familiar.
216
00:08:16,111 --> 00:08:19,012
I had a night terror
the other night
217
00:08:19,047 --> 00:08:21,581
And there was a man standing
at the foot of the bed
218
00:08:21,616 --> 00:08:25,050
Just sort of, like, convulsing
and spitting out blood.
219
00:08:25,085 --> 00:08:26,352
It wasn't you, but...
220
00:08:26,386 --> 00:08:27,820
- Well, maybe he got hurt
while he was
221
00:08:27,854 --> 00:08:29,588
Trying to protect you.
222
00:08:29,622 --> 00:08:31,657
- Yeah, maybe.
223
00:08:31,691 --> 00:08:35,394
- Oh, is that my brother
calling me?
224
00:08:35,428 --> 00:08:38,130
- Um, so what's in your box?
225
00:08:38,164 --> 00:08:40,165
- Oh, uh...
226
00:08:40,199 --> 00:08:42,867
My wife and I are divorced
227
00:08:42,902 --> 00:08:45,436
And these are some gifts
that I used to give her
228
00:08:45,470 --> 00:08:46,904
Every anniversary and birthday.
229
00:08:46,939 --> 00:08:48,839
They're called teardrop angels.
230
00:08:48,874 --> 00:08:50,374
Each one of them's
supposed to be crying
231
00:08:50,408 --> 00:08:52,776
For a different misery
in the world.
232
00:08:52,810 --> 00:08:55,212
And it's just something
to make you think about,
233
00:08:55,246 --> 00:08:58,181
You know, that the world
needs people to care.
234
00:08:58,216 --> 00:09:00,150
I was holding on to them
on the outside chance
235
00:09:00,184 --> 00:09:01,685
That we'd get back together.
236
00:09:01,719 --> 00:09:04,154
- Um...
237
00:09:04,188 --> 00:09:05,489
I'm sorry.
238
00:09:05,523 --> 00:09:07,123
That... that shit's messed up.
239
00:09:07,158 --> 00:09:08,692
Um...
240
00:09:08,726 --> 00:09:10,593
I can't.
241
00:09:10,628 --> 00:09:13,263
I can't handle a nutcase,
you know?
242
00:09:13,297 --> 00:09:17,767
It's really weird,
so I hope you get that fixed.
243
00:09:17,802 --> 00:09:19,636
- [chuckles]
244
00:09:19,670 --> 00:09:20,770
- Ha, ha, ha!
245
00:09:20,805 --> 00:09:23,205
And it looks like the game
is still on.
246
00:09:29,013 --> 00:09:30,613
- Hey.
Ken, right?
247
00:09:30,647 --> 00:09:32,515
- Hi, Zach.
248
00:09:32,549 --> 00:09:34,183
How are you enjoying
bartending?
249
00:09:34,217 --> 00:09:35,451
- Pretty good.
250
00:09:35,485 --> 00:09:37,787
I just spent time
organizing your liquors
251
00:09:37,821 --> 00:09:39,455
Based on how popular they are.
252
00:09:39,489 --> 00:09:41,156
- Really?
- Yeah.
253
00:09:41,191 --> 00:09:43,559
- Been trying to get Calvin
to do that for years.
254
00:09:52,769 --> 00:09:54,670
- Ken, you said you were
gonna get rid
255
00:09:54,704 --> 00:09:56,072
Of the teardrop angels
and sell 'em on Ebay.
256
00:09:56,106 --> 00:09:57,340
Wasn't that the plan?
257
00:09:57,374 --> 00:09:59,576
- I think they add a touch
of class to the bar.
258
00:09:59,610 --> 00:10:00,644
- To the sports bar?
259
00:10:00,678 --> 00:10:01,912
What the hell are you thinking?
260
00:10:01,946 --> 00:10:04,081
- I guess what I was thinking
is that
261
00:10:04,115 --> 00:10:06,149
If I decorated
the bar with them,
262
00:10:06,184 --> 00:10:08,018
Maybe someday Karen comes in,
263
00:10:08,052 --> 00:10:11,121
She sees I'm still
thinking about her,
264
00:10:11,156 --> 00:10:13,858
And we'll get back together.
265
00:10:13,892 --> 00:10:16,728
- I'm sorry, buddy.
266
00:10:16,762 --> 00:10:19,164
Look, I guess I know
you're really hurting.
267
00:10:19,198 --> 00:10:23,202
I shouldn't be so crass
about your feelings, okay?
268
00:10:24,838 --> 00:10:26,772
- Aah!
269
00:10:26,806 --> 00:10:29,575
- Get rid of the teardrop angels
or I'll do it for you.
270
00:10:29,610 --> 00:10:31,611
It's what you need to do.
271
00:10:38,186 --> 00:10:39,954
- Hey, Zach?
- Yeah?
272
00:10:39,988 --> 00:10:41,656
- Frank wants you
to be his bartender.
273
00:10:41,690 --> 00:10:43,392
- What you need?
- Give me an Irish whiskey.
274
00:10:43,426 --> 00:10:44,626
- All right.
275
00:10:44,661 --> 00:10:45,694
Neat?
- Please.
276
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:48,164
- All right.
277
00:10:48,198 --> 00:10:51,300
Frank, you look like someone
that's drinking away pain.
278
00:10:51,335 --> 00:10:54,304
- You hit the nail
on the head, kid.
279
00:10:54,338 --> 00:10:55,638
Lady troubles again.
280
00:10:55,673 --> 00:10:57,541
Another one broke my heart.
281
00:10:57,575 --> 00:10:59,576
- Well, you do know
what they say.
282
00:10:59,611 --> 00:11:02,846
Love is convincing yourself
that one girl
283
00:11:02,881 --> 00:11:05,349
Is different from all the rest.
284
00:11:05,384 --> 00:11:06,784
- Wow.
285
00:11:06,819 --> 00:11:08,953
You really put it
in perspective for me, kid.
286
00:11:08,988 --> 00:11:11,590
- No problem.
287
00:11:11,624 --> 00:11:13,725
- Hey, uh, Louie?
288
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,396
You know, uh, it was once said
289
00:11:16,430 --> 00:11:19,699
That love is convincing
a girl that...
290
00:11:19,733 --> 00:11:22,703
You're not one.
291
00:11:22,737 --> 00:11:24,338
- Can you send over
the other bartender?
292
00:11:24,372 --> 00:11:25,606
- Sure.
293
00:11:27,300 --> 00:11:28,466
- Hey, Ken.
294
00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:31,601
Um, there's a really hot
woman over there.
295
00:11:31,636 --> 00:11:33,269
She needs to talk to a manager.
296
00:11:33,303 --> 00:11:36,972
- Okay, I'll see
what she wants.
297
00:11:37,006 --> 00:11:39,707
- [mouths silently] that's him.
298
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:40,875
- Hi, my name's Ken.
299
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,143
I'm the manager.
How can I help you?
300
00:11:42,177 --> 00:11:43,377
- [chuckles]
301
00:11:43,412 --> 00:11:45,412
I have a complaint, Ken.
302
00:11:45,447 --> 00:11:46,413
- Okay.
303
00:11:46,448 --> 00:11:49,683
- Your face isn't in my tits.
304
00:11:49,717 --> 00:11:51,684
- [chuckles] okay.
305
00:11:51,719 --> 00:11:54,120
- That's my complaint.
- All right.
306
00:11:54,154 --> 00:11:55,588
- So really what
is the complaint?
307
00:11:55,622 --> 00:11:57,122
- I have one complaint.
- Okay.
308
00:11:57,157 --> 00:11:59,224
- I have a real complaint.
- Okay.
309
00:11:59,259 --> 00:12:02,260
- My tits don't
have your face in them.
310
00:12:02,295 --> 00:12:04,161
- Okay, do you have
a real complaint?
311
00:12:04,196 --> 00:12:06,230
- I do have a real complaint.
- Okay.
312
00:12:06,264 --> 00:12:09,833
- My tits told me they want
your face in them.
313
00:12:09,867 --> 00:12:11,234
- That's still
the face in the tits.
314
00:12:11,268 --> 00:12:12,368
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
315
00:12:12,403 --> 00:12:13,669
- Do you have
a complaint about...
316
00:12:13,704 --> 00:12:14,937
- It's called a "motorboat."
317
00:12:14,971 --> 00:12:17,372
- [chuckles] okay.
318
00:12:17,407 --> 00:12:20,275
- Are these yours?
319
00:12:20,309 --> 00:12:21,576
- Yes, they are.
- Oh, no wonder.
320
00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:23,110
You're a fag, okay.
No problem.
321
00:12:23,144 --> 00:12:24,445
- Excuse me?
- Yeah, I get it.
322
00:12:24,479 --> 00:12:26,079
Every girl needs a gay friend.
323
00:12:26,114 --> 00:12:27,848
I could be your friend.
324
00:12:27,882 --> 00:12:30,751
- These happen to
be trophies from my marriage.
325
00:12:30,785 --> 00:12:33,019
- Trophies of homosexuality.
326
00:12:33,054 --> 00:12:34,421
- I'm not homosexual!
327
00:12:34,455 --> 00:12:37,390
- I'd be angry too
if I wasn't allowed to marry.
328
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:39,692
- You tell me what
on earth is homosexual
329
00:12:39,727 --> 00:12:41,127
About a crying angel?
330
00:12:41,162 --> 00:12:42,530
- Everything.
331
00:12:42,564 --> 00:12:44,868
See you later, Ken.
332
00:12:44,902 --> 00:12:46,037
- What is the matter with you?
333
00:12:46,071 --> 00:12:47,538
- You think that these
are homosexual?
334
00:12:47,572 --> 00:12:50,443
- Very.
[sighs]
335
00:12:53,115 --> 00:12:54,450
- I know you've told me
not to call,
336
00:12:54,484 --> 00:12:55,885
But I just wanted
to give you your chance.
337
00:12:55,919 --> 00:12:58,355
Apparently they're worth
a lot of money on Ebay.
338
00:12:58,390 --> 00:12:59,590
I'm not trying
to tell you how you feel.
339
00:12:59,625 --> 00:13:00,859
- Hi, Karen!
340
00:13:00,893 --> 00:13:02,361
It's Bruce.
- Bruce is here.
341
00:13:02,396 --> 00:13:04,131
- Hi, Karen.
- Enough.
342
00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:05,837
Bruce is being ridiculous.
That's all.
343
00:13:05,872 --> 00:13:07,107
Stop it.
344
00:13:07,141 --> 00:13:08,343
Karen, please just consider...
345
00:13:08,377 --> 00:13:09,644
What are you doing?
346
00:13:09,678 --> 00:13:11,578
- "I'm burning!"
- stop it.
347
00:13:11,612 --> 00:13:13,379
- "Karen!"
- I'm not talking to you.
348
00:13:13,414 --> 00:13:14,547
Stop it!
- "Karen, save me!"
349
00:13:14,582 --> 00:13:15,882
- I'm sorry I have to go.
I love you.
350
00:13:15,916 --> 00:13:17,783
Don't tell me I can't tell you
I love you!
351
00:13:17,818 --> 00:13:19,718
- "Ken's mutilating me."
- op it!
352
00:13:19,753 --> 00:13:21,086
- Why are you talking to Karen?
353
00:13:21,121 --> 00:13:23,289
You should be on Ebay selling
these pieces of crap.
354
00:13:23,323 --> 00:13:25,524
- I was trying to get rid
of them in my own way.
355
00:13:25,558 --> 00:13:27,759
- That woman is poison.
Stay away from her.
356
00:13:27,793 --> 00:13:29,060
- She's not poison.
357
00:13:29,095 --> 00:13:30,729
- She used to ground you, Ken.
358
00:13:30,763 --> 00:13:32,163
- They weren't groundings.
359
00:13:32,197 --> 00:13:34,098
Those were intimacy
restrictions.
360
00:13:34,133 --> 00:13:35,767
We were restricted
from other activities
361
00:13:35,801 --> 00:13:37,302
In order to be intimate.
362
00:13:37,336 --> 00:13:40,038
- You obviously can't sell
these, so I'll do it myself.
363
00:13:40,072 --> 00:13:41,606
- [scoffs] fine.
364
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:42,674
- Good.
365
00:13:42,708 --> 00:13:43,808
We'll make a little money
on Ebay.
366
00:13:43,842 --> 00:13:45,276
- Make sure you get
a good price.
367
00:13:45,310 --> 00:13:47,912
- No man goes to a cunnilingus
class against his will.
368
00:13:47,946 --> 00:13:49,547
- It wasn't against my will.
I enjoyed it.
369
00:13:49,581 --> 00:13:51,448
They had dolls
like Resusci Annies
370
00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:53,016
And it was very instructive.
371
00:13:53,051 --> 00:13:55,456
- That woman took a shot
at you with a gun.
372
00:13:55,490 --> 00:13:57,892
- It was not a real gun.
You always bring that up.
373
00:13:57,926 --> 00:14:00,160
It was a highly-pumped
BB gun.
374
00:14:03,898 --> 00:14:05,465
I mean, she's the love
of my life.
375
00:14:05,499 --> 00:14:06,966
I mean, I know people thought
376
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,201
That she was abrasive because
she'd tell them
377
00:14:09,236 --> 00:14:11,804
That she was bored with them
and stuff like that, but...
378
00:14:11,839 --> 00:14:14,040
- Ken, there's a lot
of fish in the sea...
379
00:14:14,074 --> 00:14:17,377
But how many of those
are your great white whale?
380
00:14:17,412 --> 00:14:20,280
Sometimes you're just gonna
have to go after Moby Dick.
381
00:14:20,315 --> 00:14:22,516
- Yes.
Yes!
382
00:14:22,550 --> 00:14:25,185
You know, I really appreciate
you talking to me.
383
00:14:25,219 --> 00:14:26,353
Sometimes I feel like there's
no one at this bar
384
00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:27,621
I can confide in.
385
00:14:27,655 --> 00:14:29,089
- No problem.
386
00:14:29,123 --> 00:14:30,357
- Can I ask you something?
- Yeah.
387
00:14:30,391 --> 00:14:31,858
- Hey, Ken, what's up?
You seem bummed.
388
00:14:31,892 --> 00:14:33,593
- Yeah, look,
could you go break down
389
00:14:33,627 --> 00:14:35,261
Some boxes in the back, please?
390
00:14:35,296 --> 00:14:37,597
- Yeah.
391
00:14:37,631 --> 00:14:39,333
- Would you be willing
to mediate
392
00:14:39,367 --> 00:14:42,269
Between Karen and me?
393
00:14:42,303 --> 00:14:44,304
Night.
394
00:14:48,276 --> 00:14:49,810
- Hey.
395
00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:51,045
Are you still open?
396
00:14:51,079 --> 00:14:53,548
- Oh, actually,
we're just closing.
397
00:14:53,583 --> 00:14:56,018
- Oh.
- But you know what?
398
00:14:56,052 --> 00:14:58,921
We could make an exception.
399
00:14:58,956 --> 00:15:00,490
Get you a drink in
just under the wire.
400
00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:01,725
- Thank you.
401
00:15:01,759 --> 00:15:03,193
I really could use one.
402
00:15:03,228 --> 00:15:04,728
- Oh, yeah?
- Yes.
403
00:15:04,763 --> 00:15:07,365
I had a very long day.
404
00:15:07,399 --> 00:15:08,432
It's boring.
- No, no.
405
00:15:08,467 --> 00:15:09,467
Tell me about it.
406
00:15:09,501 --> 00:15:11,202
- Uh...
407
00:15:11,237 --> 00:15:13,872
I'm in a restaurant-management
training program.
408
00:15:13,907 --> 00:15:15,875
It's really difficult.
- No way.
409
00:15:15,909 --> 00:15:17,577
- Yeah, it's kind of
kicking my ass.
410
00:15:17,611 --> 00:15:19,579
- I'm a graduate
of soup ranch university.
411
00:15:19,614 --> 00:15:21,215
- You're kidding me.
- Uh-huh.
412
00:15:21,249 --> 00:15:23,885
- Ugh, I applied there
and I didn't get in.
413
00:15:23,919 --> 00:15:25,487
- Hey, don't beat up
on yourself.
414
00:15:25,521 --> 00:15:26,721
- I mean, I was wait-listed.
415
00:15:26,756 --> 00:15:28,023
I just couldn't wait that long.
416
00:15:28,057 --> 00:15:29,024
- I know. I know.
417
00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:30,025
It's pretty competitive.
418
00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:31,026
I think my essay got me in.
419
00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:32,495
Hardest three weeks of my life.
420
00:15:32,529 --> 00:15:34,430
- I believe that.
- But don't worry.
421
00:15:34,465 --> 00:15:36,266
You're gonna look back
on this training
422
00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:37,834
And you're gonna realize
it was the most
423
00:15:37,869 --> 00:15:39,603
Meaningful experience
of your life.
424
00:15:39,637 --> 00:15:40,871
- Really?
- Yes.
425
00:15:40,905 --> 00:15:42,440
And you're gonna walk away
with the knowledge
426
00:15:42,474 --> 00:15:44,375
That successful
restaurant management
427
00:15:44,410 --> 00:15:48,379
Ultimately comes down
to the eternal yin-yang
428
00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:49,381
Between cost control...
429
00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:51,783
Both: And customer satisfaction.
430
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,819
- [chuckles]
431
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,891
- Could I buy you that drink?
432
00:16:00,882 --> 00:16:06,151
[ Histling melody]
433
00:16:06,185 --> 00:16:07,852
- What's up, happy feet?
- Oh, uh, nothing.
434
00:16:07,886 --> 00:16:10,420
I just met a woman yesterday.
435
00:16:10,455 --> 00:16:12,088
In fact, yesterday turned
into last night
436
00:16:12,122 --> 00:16:14,690
And we were intimate.
437
00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:16,925
- Things are turning around
for you, huh?
438
00:16:16,959 --> 00:16:18,793
- Yeah, it was pretty special.
439
00:16:18,827 --> 00:16:20,494
It wasn't your typical,
"if you're done,
440
00:16:20,528 --> 00:16:21,994
You can get off me now,"
type of thing.
441
00:16:22,029 --> 00:16:23,095
- That's not typical.
442
00:16:23,129 --> 00:16:24,396
- You're welcome, Ken.
443
00:16:24,430 --> 00:16:25,730
Pay up.
Gimme the grand.
444
00:16:25,765 --> 00:16:27,364
Come on.
445
00:16:27,399 --> 00:16:30,233
I'm only making $250 after
I had to pay that broad off.
446
00:16:33,770 --> 00:16:35,203
- Oh, no.
447
00:16:35,237 --> 00:16:38,738
That woman was a prostitute?
448
00:16:38,773 --> 00:16:41,106
- Yeah, of course
she was a hooker.
449
00:16:41,141 --> 00:16:42,741
You think anybody like
that's gonna let you
450
00:16:42,775 --> 00:16:44,408
Do the scissor kick
with her for nothing?
451
00:16:44,443 --> 00:16:45,876
Come on.
452
00:16:45,910 --> 00:16:48,078
- So all that stuff about
453
00:16:48,112 --> 00:16:51,046
Loving restaurant management...
454
00:16:51,081 --> 00:16:52,547
That was a lie?
455
00:16:58,153 --> 00:16:59,419
- Why you got to bring
that up in front of him?
456
00:16:59,454 --> 00:17:00,487
- What?
457
00:17:00,521 --> 00:17:01,621
You act as
if he's never had a pro
458
00:17:01,655 --> 00:17:02,722
Snap his noodle before.
459
00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:04,557
- He... ken?
- Never?
460
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:06,391
- Never.
- He's got to get out more.
461
00:17:11,233 --> 00:17:13,868
- Oh, hey, Calvin.
- Hey.
462
00:17:13,903 --> 00:17:16,207
- I got some good news
and d news.
463
00:17:16,241 --> 00:17:19,077
My disease is
in total remission.
464
00:17:19,112 --> 00:17:20,780
I'm not gonna die anymore.
465
00:17:20,815 --> 00:17:22,350
- That is good news
and bad news.
466
00:17:22,384 --> 00:17:25,519
- No, the bad news is I can't
work at the bar anymore.
467
00:17:25,554 --> 00:17:27,020
I have to go back to school.
468
00:17:27,055 --> 00:17:28,825
- Really?
This is awesome!
469
00:17:28,862 --> 00:17:30,903
This is the best bad news
I've ever heard.
470
00:17:30,938 --> 00:17:32,172
- Hey, Zach, can we talk?
471
00:17:32,207 --> 00:17:34,879
I'm going through some
heavy stuff right now.
472
00:17:34,913 --> 00:17:37,118
- Ken, maybe you should
hire a shrink.
473
00:17:37,152 --> 00:17:38,722
- What?
474
00:17:38,756 --> 00:17:41,128
- Dude, women hate you.
Get over it.
475
00:17:41,162 --> 00:17:42,930
- Zach, sweetie?
476
00:17:42,964 --> 00:17:46,100
It's time to go now.
477
00:17:46,134 --> 00:17:47,168
You have all your stuff?
478
00:17:47,202 --> 00:17:51,938
- Yep.
479
00:17:51,973 --> 00:17:53,640
- What got into him?
480
00:17:53,675 --> 00:17:55,542
- He's not sick anymore.
481
00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:57,110
Hey, where's the money?
- What do you mean?
482
00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:58,245
What happened to the money?
483
00:17:58,279 --> 00:17:59,779
- All the money's gone
from the drawer.
484
00:17:59,814 --> 00:18:02,515
[cell phone rings]
- what?
485
00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:04,550
[gasps] it's Karen!
486
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:07,085
Hi, Karen.
487
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:09,420
Yeah.
Yeah, I still have 'em.
488
00:18:09,454 --> 00:18:12,055
Absolutely.
489
00:18:12,089 --> 00:18:13,623
All right, I'll see you then.
490
00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:15,457
Karen wants
the teardrop angels back.
491
00:18:15,492 --> 00:18:16,725
Where's Bruce?
492
00:18:16,759 --> 00:18:18,226
- He's in the alley.
493
00:18:18,260 --> 00:18:22,229
Am I in trouble?
494
00:18:22,263 --> 00:18:24,030
- Guess what!
495
00:18:24,064 --> 00:18:25,764
- Pull.
496
00:18:25,799 --> 00:18:26,932
- What are you doing?
497
00:18:26,966 --> 00:18:28,399
- Smashing angels.
498
00:18:28,434 --> 00:18:30,201
- You're supposed
to be selling them online!
499
00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:31,568
- It's so complicated, Ken.
500
00:18:31,603 --> 00:18:33,570
You got to get bubble wrap,
find the guy's address.
501
00:18:33,604 --> 00:18:35,404
It's not worth it.
Pull.
502
00:18:35,439 --> 00:18:36,772
- What?
No!
503
00:18:36,807 --> 00:18:37,973
Oh!
- [laughs]
504
00:18:38,007 --> 00:18:39,942
- Karen...
- home run!
505
00:18:39,976 --> 00:18:41,910
- Karen wants
the teardrop angels.
506
00:18:41,945 --> 00:18:44,650
You see what that means?
It's an olive branch.
507
00:18:44,684 --> 00:18:45,719
She's reaching out to me.
508
00:18:45,754 --> 00:18:47,524
She's giving me a chance.
509
00:18:47,559 --> 00:18:49,696
- Well, you're lucky, Ken.
510
00:18:49,730 --> 00:18:51,099
There's one left.
511
00:18:51,133 --> 00:18:53,936
- If there's only gonna be one,
that's a good one.
512
00:18:53,970 --> 00:18:55,204
I got that for Karen the night
513
00:18:55,238 --> 00:18:56,805
After we consummated
our relationship.
514
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:58,573
- Pull.
515
00:18:58,608 --> 00:19:00,609
- No!
516
00:19:03,746 --> 00:19:05,413
- Well, I got
to the bottom of that.
517
00:19:05,447 --> 00:19:07,815
No such thing as
the wish it true foundation.
518
00:19:07,850 --> 00:19:09,150
That kid scammed us.
519
00:19:09,184 --> 00:19:10,718
- Can't believe you
put us through that.
520
00:19:10,752 --> 00:19:11,886
- Just take it easy.
521
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:13,487
He made Calvin
a better bartender.
522
00:19:13,522 --> 00:19:15,122
- Don't try to find
a silver lining.
523
00:19:15,157 --> 00:19:17,391
And by the way, thank you
for ruining my chances
524
00:19:17,426 --> 00:19:18,726
Of getting back together
with Karen.
525
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:19,960
- You're welcome.
526
00:19:19,995 --> 00:19:21,128
Who wants to live with a woman
527
00:19:21,162 --> 00:19:22,763
That controls what you watch
on television?
528
00:19:22,797 --> 00:19:23,764
- As long as she was asleep,
529
00:19:23,798 --> 00:19:25,032
I could watch anything
I wanted.
530
00:19:25,066 --> 00:19:26,633
- No man should be married
to a wife
531
00:19:26,667 --> 00:19:28,935
Who says she has no sensation
in her vagina.
532
00:19:28,969 --> 00:19:31,872
- It was called hysterical
vaginal paralysis
533
00:19:31,906 --> 00:19:32,872
And it happens.
534
00:19:32,907 --> 00:19:34,374
- Okay.
- Excuse me.
535
00:19:34,408 --> 00:19:36,142
- Hi there.
- Hello.
536
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:37,476
- Excuse me a second.
537
00:19:37,511 --> 00:19:38,744
- Thank you.
538
00:19:38,779 --> 00:19:43,283
So, uh, I'm sure you know
about last night.
539
00:19:43,318 --> 00:19:44,585
- Yes, I do.
540
00:19:44,619 --> 00:19:46,620
- I totally understand
if you're angry.
541
00:19:46,654 --> 00:19:49,255
- I'm not angry.
I'm hurt.
542
00:19:49,290 --> 00:19:51,491
I told you things
about the soup ranch
543
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:52,860
That only a manager
should know.
544
00:19:52,895 --> 00:19:54,228
- For whatever it's worth,
545
00:19:54,262 --> 00:19:57,064
I really do have an interest
in restaurant management.
546
00:19:57,098 --> 00:20:00,034
I can't be a call girl forever.
547
00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:01,201
Listen, it's, um...
548
00:20:01,236 --> 00:20:04,104
It's my night off.
549
00:20:04,139 --> 00:20:07,074
Would you like to grab
a cup of coffee, just talk?
550
00:20:07,109 --> 00:20:08,943
- You're not getting paid
to do this, are you?
551
00:20:08,977 --> 00:20:10,077
- No.
552
00:20:10,112 --> 00:20:11,445
- And you really
do have an interest
553
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:12,713
In restaurant management?
554
00:20:12,748 --> 00:20:14,982
- I do.
I really do.
555
00:20:15,016 --> 00:20:16,784
- I'd love to get a cup
of coffee with you.
556
00:20:16,818 --> 00:20:18,052
- Good.
557
00:20:18,086 --> 00:20:19,320
- Just let me change my shirt.
558
00:20:19,354 --> 00:20:20,755
- Okay.
559
00:20:29,631 --> 00:20:32,433
- Hey, this isn't just
for coffee, all right?
560
00:20:32,467 --> 00:20:34,836
- You know what?
Just keep it.
561
00:20:34,870 --> 00:20:36,604
- No, no.
I want you to...
562
00:20:36,639 --> 00:20:37,672
- No.
563
00:20:37,707 --> 00:20:39,074
- Really?
564
00:20:39,108 --> 00:20:41,276
- I like him.
He's a sweet guy.
565
00:20:41,311 --> 00:20:42,645
- For free?
- Yeah.
566
00:20:42,679 --> 00:20:44,147
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
567
00:20:44,181 --> 00:20:47,050
- [chuckles] wow, okay.
568
00:20:51,222 --> 00:20:52,789
He's gone.
- Thank you.
569
00:20:52,790 --> 00:20:54,290
Sync by n17t01
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570
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:58,890
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