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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,453 --> 00:00:02,586 - Hey, Calvin. 2 00:00:02,621 --> 00:00:04,521 - [sniffs and clears throat] 3 00:00:04,556 --> 00:00:05,789 Guess what. - What? 4 00:00:05,823 --> 00:00:07,356 - Got a special guest coming by the bar tonight. 5 00:00:07,391 --> 00:00:08,690 Got a call from the Phoenix chapter 6 00:00:08,725 --> 00:00:10,224 Of the wish it true foundation. 7 00:00:10,259 --> 00:00:12,726 They've got a terminally-ill boy who wants to hang out with us. 8 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:14,094 - Is he gonna die here? 9 00:00:14,128 --> 00:00:15,629 - Well, he could, but we'll deal with that 10 00:00:15,663 --> 00:00:16,963 When it happens. 11 00:00:16,998 --> 00:00:19,232 Anyway, the woman told me the boy's name is Zach 12 00:00:19,267 --> 00:00:22,069 And that his lifelong dream is to be a professional bartender. 13 00:00:22,103 --> 00:00:23,371 - That's stupid. 14 00:00:23,405 --> 00:00:24,939 I always figure if you have a lifelong dream, 15 00:00:24,973 --> 00:00:28,007 It would be something cool like, um... 16 00:00:28,042 --> 00:00:31,243 Fitness model or Terminator. 17 00:00:31,278 --> 00:00:31,710 - Yeah, well, maybe he wants to be a bartender 18 00:00:37,034 --> 00:00:38,568 - Basement? 19 00:00:38,602 --> 00:00:40,369 - I didn't... no. No, no. 20 00:00:40,404 --> 00:00:42,171 Anyway, he'll be here later. 21 00:00:42,205 --> 00:00:43,572 - Cool. 22 00:00:43,606 --> 00:00:44,740 If we had a basement, you'd tell me about it, right? 23 00:00:44,774 --> 00:00:46,041 - Yes. 24 00:00:46,075 --> 00:00:47,760 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 25 00:00:47,794 --> 00:00:51,528 - ♪ we ain't never gonna change ♪ 26 00:00:51,563 --> 00:00:55,499 ♪ we ain't doing nothing wrong ♪ 27 00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:59,358 ♪ we ain't never gonna change ♪ 28 00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:03,108 ♪ so shut your mouth and play along ♪ 29 00:01:10,928 --> 00:01:13,288 [door opens] - the hell are you doing? 30 00:01:13,322 --> 00:01:15,055 - Nothing. - You're sniffing a sweater. 31 00:01:15,090 --> 00:01:16,855 - So? - Is that Karen's old sweater? 32 00:01:19,422 --> 00:01:20,418 Oh, my God. Throw it out! 33 00:01:20,453 --> 00:01:21,851 - No! 34 00:01:21,885 --> 00:01:23,616 It still has her scent on it. I wanna keep it. 35 00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:25,712 - Ken, you guys got divorced, like, three years ago. 36 00:01:25,746 --> 00:01:27,478 Get rid of it. That woman was terrible. 37 00:01:27,513 --> 00:01:28,710 She practically kept your balls in her purse. 38 00:01:28,745 --> 00:01:29,810 Throw it out. 39 00:01:29,844 --> 00:01:30,877 Give me the sweater. 40 00:01:30,911 --> 00:01:32,277 I'll throw it out for you. - No. 41 00:01:32,311 --> 00:01:33,577 Look, okay, maybe you're right, 42 00:01:33,612 --> 00:01:36,575 But I'm gonna throw it out myself, all right? 43 00:01:36,609 --> 00:01:38,607 It's not gonna be easy. 44 00:01:41,071 --> 00:01:42,338 - Let me tell you, nobody's gonna remember 45 00:01:42,372 --> 00:01:44,172 The lyrics to snoop Dogg songs. 46 00:01:44,207 --> 00:01:46,474 - Hey, guys, come here. 47 00:01:46,508 --> 00:01:47,875 You're not gonna believe this. - What's up? 48 00:01:47,909 --> 00:01:49,576 - I was just in the office and I caught Ken 49 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,844 Sniffing his ex-wife's sweater. 50 00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:54,345 - Eww. - Yeah, that's effed up, right? 51 00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:56,213 I think we need to help Ken get over Karen, okay? 52 00:01:56,247 --> 00:01:57,847 I think we all know the way to do that. 53 00:01:57,882 --> 00:01:59,681 - [giggles] yeah. 54 00:01:59,716 --> 00:02:01,149 - [chuckles] yeah. 55 00:02:01,183 --> 00:02:03,950 [laughing harder] 56 00:02:03,985 --> 00:02:05,852 - Calvin? 57 00:02:05,886 --> 00:02:09,851 Calvin, do you know what I mean? 58 00:02:09,886 --> 00:02:12,853 Okay, I meant we need to get Ken laid. 59 00:02:12,887 --> 00:02:14,921 Ken hasn't had pussy since he broke up with Karen. 60 00:02:14,955 --> 00:02:16,221 Pardon my language. - Oh, wow. 61 00:02:16,255 --> 00:02:19,522 - First person to get Ken laid wins $1,000 for me. 62 00:02:19,557 --> 00:02:21,024 - I have the perfect girl for him. 63 00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:22,591 She'll have sex with anything. 64 00:02:22,625 --> 00:02:25,054 - Trevan, let me talk to mom. 65 00:02:25,089 --> 00:02:27,253 - Hey, I thought you were gonna throw that out. 66 00:02:27,287 --> 00:02:29,419 - Nah, I'm gonna take it to my storage locker instead. 67 00:02:29,454 --> 00:02:31,317 - What storage locker? 68 00:02:43,704 --> 00:02:46,537 This looks like a serial killer's lair. 69 00:02:46,571 --> 00:02:49,271 - It's just some old stuff I'm hanging on to. 70 00:02:49,305 --> 00:02:52,839 - This is all the stuff you gave Karen during your marriage? 71 00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:55,306 Oh, my God, Ken. Look at this place. 72 00:02:55,340 --> 00:02:57,240 - You're making a big deal out of nothing. 73 00:02:57,274 --> 00:02:58,707 - Oh, my God. 74 00:02:58,741 --> 00:03:00,007 You built a shrine to Karen. 75 00:03:00,041 --> 00:03:02,475 - It's not a shrine. - It is a shrine! 76 00:03:02,509 --> 00:03:03,742 You got to get rid of this stuff, Ken. 77 00:03:03,776 --> 00:03:04,776 - No. 78 00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:06,109 What if Karen comes back 79 00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:08,077 And she finds out I've thrown out all her stuff? 80 00:03:08,111 --> 00:03:10,044 - She wants no memory of you and you want 81 00:03:10,078 --> 00:03:11,678 Every memory of her. 82 00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:13,145 That's exactly what's going on. 83 00:03:13,180 --> 00:03:15,213 - We're having a hiccup in our relationship. 84 00:03:15,247 --> 00:03:17,113 - You got to move on and the first thing to do 85 00:03:17,148 --> 00:03:19,581 Is get rid of all of this junk. 86 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:21,715 All you need is a little momentum, all right? 87 00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:22,882 Trust me. It's not gonna be easy, 88 00:03:22,917 --> 00:03:24,217 But it'll be quick. 89 00:03:24,251 --> 00:03:27,218 [soft pop music] 90 00:03:27,252 --> 00:03:33,254 ♪ ♪ 91 00:03:46,728 --> 00:03:48,794 - [gasping] 92 00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:51,162 - They're just things. They're just things. 93 00:03:53,532 --> 00:03:56,432 - So every great bartender has his own way of, like, 94 00:03:56,467 --> 00:03:58,734 Organizing his liquors and stuff. 95 00:03:58,768 --> 00:04:00,335 The way I like to do it is, like, 96 00:04:00,369 --> 00:04:03,737 "brown" goes "down" there. 97 00:04:03,772 --> 00:04:06,806 And if it's "clear" I put it over "here." 98 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,307 And then all, like, the juices 99 00:04:08,341 --> 00:04:10,842 And the different colored ones just go anywhere. 100 00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:12,209 - You need to get organized. 101 00:04:12,244 --> 00:04:13,777 You might want to start with the whiskeys, 102 00:04:13,812 --> 00:04:16,713 Single-malt, Irish, blended, bourbon, rye... 103 00:04:16,747 --> 00:04:17,880 - Yeah, it's really cool that you know all that stuff, 104 00:04:17,914 --> 00:04:19,081 But it's time to cut lemons. 105 00:04:19,115 --> 00:04:22,516 Lemons are, like, really important in a bar. 106 00:04:22,551 --> 00:04:25,118 It's the hammer in the bartender's toolkit. 107 00:04:25,153 --> 00:04:27,720 Cut the tips off first. 108 00:04:27,754 --> 00:04:29,888 And you got to be careful not to cut huge pieces. 109 00:04:29,923 --> 00:04:32,156 And you can't just cut a lemon into weird shapes, 110 00:04:32,191 --> 00:04:33,824 'cause people get mad at you when you do that. 111 00:04:33,859 --> 00:04:35,626 And never, ever put lemons in your mouth 112 00:04:35,660 --> 00:04:37,460 And then in someone's drink. 113 00:04:40,397 --> 00:04:42,097 You cut a whole lemon? 114 00:04:42,131 --> 00:04:43,898 That's a pretty cool machine you got there. 115 00:04:43,933 --> 00:04:46,700 Those lemons are really... those are pretty good. 116 00:04:46,735 --> 00:04:49,869 - All right, this is it. 117 00:04:49,904 --> 00:04:51,971 - Oh, I'm gonna keep that one. 118 00:04:52,005 --> 00:04:53,439 - What are you talking about? 119 00:04:53,474 --> 00:04:55,575 - Well, those are Karen's teardrop angels. 120 00:04:55,609 --> 00:04:57,177 They were really special to us. 121 00:04:57,212 --> 00:04:59,180 - All right. 122 00:04:59,214 --> 00:05:00,748 - Hey! 123 00:05:00,782 --> 00:05:02,082 The hell's the matter with you? 124 00:05:02,117 --> 00:05:03,417 I just told you that was important to me! 125 00:05:03,451 --> 00:05:04,819 - They're hideous. You don't need 'em. 126 00:05:04,853 --> 00:05:06,687 - They're not hideous. They're beautiful. 127 00:05:06,721 --> 00:05:08,722 Each one of those commemorates a significant event 128 00:05:08,756 --> 00:05:10,691 In Karen and my relationship. 129 00:05:10,725 --> 00:05:13,226 That's the time we went whale-watching in Nantucket. 130 00:05:13,261 --> 00:05:15,128 - Oh, actually, that's kind of sentimental. 131 00:05:15,162 --> 00:05:17,063 All right. 132 00:05:17,097 --> 00:05:19,131 - You... come on! 133 00:05:19,166 --> 00:05:20,566 - You're getting rid of everything. 134 00:05:20,601 --> 00:05:22,134 You're going cold Turkey on Karen. 135 00:05:22,169 --> 00:05:23,603 - All right, fine. 136 00:05:23,637 --> 00:05:25,171 I'll get rid of them, but I'm not throwing them out. 137 00:05:25,205 --> 00:05:27,440 I'm gonna put them on Ebay so someone else can enjoy them. 138 00:05:27,474 --> 00:05:29,442 - Maybe a blind person. - Oh, shut up. 139 00:05:29,476 --> 00:05:30,876 - That's a good joke. - Shut up. 140 00:05:36,056 --> 00:05:38,657 - Hey, can I get a rosewater Rickey? 141 00:05:38,692 --> 00:05:40,292 - Yeah, sure. 142 00:05:40,327 --> 00:05:42,428 It's the perfect opportunity for me to show you 143 00:05:42,462 --> 00:05:44,630 The most important part of being a bartender, 144 00:05:44,664 --> 00:05:46,499 Which is making drinks. 145 00:05:46,533 --> 00:05:48,367 First thing you do when someone orders a drink 146 00:05:48,401 --> 00:05:50,336 Is you pull out your bartender's guide. 147 00:05:50,370 --> 00:05:52,171 So you look up what he wanted 148 00:05:52,205 --> 00:05:54,206 And it'll tell you what to put in it. 149 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:57,309 Rosewater Rickey. Rosewater Rickey. 150 00:05:57,344 --> 00:05:58,977 Yeah, there's no such thing as that. 151 00:05:59,012 --> 00:06:01,914 I'm sorry. It just doesn't exist. 152 00:06:05,485 --> 00:06:08,186 - One rosewater Rickey coming up. 153 00:06:08,221 --> 00:06:09,788 - Thanks. 154 00:06:09,822 --> 00:06:11,823 [chuckles] 155 00:06:11,858 --> 00:06:13,892 - That's a pretty cool looking drink. 156 00:06:13,927 --> 00:06:15,927 - Go put 'em on Ebay right now. 157 00:06:15,962 --> 00:06:20,365 - Hey, Bruce, you got to try this rosewater Rickey. 158 00:06:20,399 --> 00:06:22,300 - Mmm. Awesome. 159 00:06:22,335 --> 00:06:25,170 - That new kid is quite the mixologist. 160 00:06:25,204 --> 00:06:26,438 - Calvin's not really new. 161 00:06:26,472 --> 00:06:27,639 - Oh, he's not talking about Calvin. 162 00:06:27,673 --> 00:06:29,507 He's talking about Zach. - Oh, my God. 163 00:06:29,542 --> 00:06:31,076 What's that kid going behind the bar? 164 00:06:31,110 --> 00:06:33,244 - He's from the wish it true foundation, okay? 165 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:36,481 His dying wish is to be a bartender for a few days. 166 00:06:36,515 --> 00:06:38,016 - He can't serve alcohol. 167 00:06:38,050 --> 00:06:39,350 We'll lose our license. 168 00:06:39,385 --> 00:06:40,885 - Yeah, I guess we could, Ken, 169 00:06:40,919 --> 00:06:43,321 Lose our measly little alcohol vending license 170 00:06:43,355 --> 00:06:45,256 Or we could have died 30 years ago from some illness 171 00:06:45,290 --> 00:06:46,891 In the prime of our life. 172 00:06:46,925 --> 00:06:49,260 Have a heart, tin man. 173 00:06:52,164 --> 00:06:53,964 That is good. I'm gonna get me one. 174 00:06:53,999 --> 00:06:55,799 - Hey, Ken. Oh, my God. 175 00:06:55,834 --> 00:06:57,101 This is so funny. 176 00:06:57,135 --> 00:06:58,702 This is Jackie. 177 00:06:58,737 --> 00:07:00,003 I've always wanted you to meet her 178 00:07:00,038 --> 00:07:01,405 And here you guys are together. 179 00:07:01,439 --> 00:07:02,873 - Oh, hi. How you doing? 180 00:07:02,907 --> 00:07:03,974 Nice to meet you. - So odd. 181 00:07:04,008 --> 00:07:05,709 Why don't you guys sit down? 182 00:07:05,743 --> 00:07:07,410 - Oh, actually I got work to do. 183 00:07:07,445 --> 00:07:11,281 - Yeah, but you can take a quick break. 184 00:07:11,315 --> 00:07:12,749 - Okay. 185 00:07:12,783 --> 00:07:14,050 - Just take a seat. 186 00:07:14,084 --> 00:07:16,119 Get to know each other a little bit. 187 00:07:16,153 --> 00:07:19,588 You guys are both attractive people 188 00:07:19,622 --> 00:07:23,558 And I'm sure you both will have a lot to talk about, 189 00:07:23,593 --> 00:07:24,960 Shared interests and whatnot. 190 00:07:24,994 --> 00:07:26,127 - Okay, okay. We'll talk. 191 00:07:26,162 --> 00:07:27,429 - Okay. 192 00:07:27,463 --> 00:07:29,130 - Hi, attractive person. [chuckles] 193 00:07:29,165 --> 00:07:30,331 - Hello, attractive person. 194 00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:31,733 - That was awkward. 195 00:07:31,767 --> 00:07:33,801 So where do you know Barb from? 196 00:07:33,836 --> 00:07:35,670 - Uh, we're in the same women's circle. 197 00:07:35,704 --> 00:07:37,372 - Okay. 198 00:07:37,406 --> 00:07:39,141 - It's a place where we can just support each other 199 00:07:39,175 --> 00:07:41,009 And empower each other. 200 00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:44,512 - Oh, my father was in the elks. 201 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:46,314 - Sorry, you guys. 202 00:07:46,348 --> 00:07:48,649 Looks like I just won the contest. 203 00:07:48,684 --> 00:07:50,150 - No. - Yep. 204 00:07:50,185 --> 00:07:51,919 I just introduced Ken to the neediest woman 205 00:07:51,953 --> 00:07:53,153 In the world, so. 206 00:07:53,187 --> 00:07:54,487 - The blonde? 207 00:07:54,522 --> 00:07:55,855 - Yeah. 208 00:07:55,890 --> 00:07:57,424 - She's not gonna go for him. - No. 209 00:07:57,458 --> 00:08:01,328 - Looks like I will be able to start my mall kiosk. 210 00:08:01,362 --> 00:08:04,463 - I have a problem with suicidal tendencies. 211 00:08:04,498 --> 00:08:07,299 Uh, I think about it and then I try it. 212 00:08:07,333 --> 00:08:10,001 That's happened a lot of times. 213 00:08:10,036 --> 00:08:11,304 - Oh. - So. 214 00:08:11,338 --> 00:08:14,842 Yeah, um, I just haven't been successful yet. 215 00:08:14,876 --> 00:08:16,076 You actually look familiar. 216 00:08:16,111 --> 00:08:19,012 I had a night terror the other night 217 00:08:19,047 --> 00:08:21,581 And there was a man standing at the foot of the bed 218 00:08:21,616 --> 00:08:25,050 Just sort of, like, convulsing and spitting out blood. 219 00:08:25,085 --> 00:08:26,352 It wasn't you, but... 220 00:08:26,386 --> 00:08:27,820 - Well, maybe he got hurt while he was 221 00:08:27,854 --> 00:08:29,588 Trying to protect you. 222 00:08:29,622 --> 00:08:31,657 - Yeah, maybe. 223 00:08:31,691 --> 00:08:35,394 - Oh, is that my brother calling me? 224 00:08:35,428 --> 00:08:38,130 - Um, so what's in your box? 225 00:08:38,164 --> 00:08:40,165 - Oh, uh... 226 00:08:40,199 --> 00:08:42,867 My wife and I are divorced 227 00:08:42,902 --> 00:08:45,436 And these are some gifts that I used to give her 228 00:08:45,470 --> 00:08:46,904 Every anniversary and birthday. 229 00:08:46,939 --> 00:08:48,839 They're called teardrop angels. 230 00:08:48,874 --> 00:08:50,374 Each one of them's supposed to be crying 231 00:08:50,408 --> 00:08:52,776 For a different misery in the world. 232 00:08:52,810 --> 00:08:55,212 And it's just something to make you think about, 233 00:08:55,246 --> 00:08:58,181 You know, that the world needs people to care. 234 00:08:58,216 --> 00:09:00,150 I was holding on to them on the outside chance 235 00:09:00,184 --> 00:09:01,685 That we'd get back together. 236 00:09:01,719 --> 00:09:04,154 - Um... 237 00:09:04,188 --> 00:09:05,489 I'm sorry. 238 00:09:05,523 --> 00:09:07,123 That... that shit's messed up. 239 00:09:07,158 --> 00:09:08,692 Um... 240 00:09:08,726 --> 00:09:10,593 I can't. 241 00:09:10,628 --> 00:09:13,263 I can't handle a nutcase, you know? 242 00:09:13,297 --> 00:09:17,767 It's really weird, so I hope you get that fixed. 243 00:09:17,802 --> 00:09:19,636 - [chuckles] 244 00:09:19,670 --> 00:09:20,770 - Ha, ha, ha! 245 00:09:20,805 --> 00:09:23,205 And it looks like the game is still on. 246 00:09:29,013 --> 00:09:30,613 - Hey. Ken, right? 247 00:09:30,647 --> 00:09:32,515 - Hi, Zach. 248 00:09:32,549 --> 00:09:34,183 How are you enjoying bartending? 249 00:09:34,217 --> 00:09:35,451 - Pretty good. 250 00:09:35,485 --> 00:09:37,787 I just spent time organizing your liquors 251 00:09:37,821 --> 00:09:39,455 Based on how popular they are. 252 00:09:39,489 --> 00:09:41,156 - Really? - Yeah. 253 00:09:41,191 --> 00:09:43,559 - Been trying to get Calvin to do that for years. 254 00:09:52,769 --> 00:09:54,670 - Ken, you said you were gonna get rid 255 00:09:54,704 --> 00:09:56,072 Of the teardrop angels and sell 'em on Ebay. 256 00:09:56,106 --> 00:09:57,340 Wasn't that the plan? 257 00:09:57,374 --> 00:09:59,576 - I think they add a touch of class to the bar. 258 00:09:59,610 --> 00:10:00,644 - To the sports bar? 259 00:10:00,678 --> 00:10:01,912 What the hell are you thinking? 260 00:10:01,946 --> 00:10:04,081 - I guess what I was thinking is that 261 00:10:04,115 --> 00:10:06,149 If I decorated the bar with them, 262 00:10:06,184 --> 00:10:08,018 Maybe someday Karen comes in, 263 00:10:08,052 --> 00:10:11,121 She sees I'm still thinking about her, 264 00:10:11,156 --> 00:10:13,858 And we'll get back together. 265 00:10:13,892 --> 00:10:16,728 - I'm sorry, buddy. 266 00:10:16,762 --> 00:10:19,164 Look, I guess I know you're really hurting. 267 00:10:19,198 --> 00:10:23,202 I shouldn't be so crass about your feelings, okay? 268 00:10:24,838 --> 00:10:26,772 - Aah! 269 00:10:26,806 --> 00:10:29,575 - Get rid of the teardrop angels or I'll do it for you. 270 00:10:29,610 --> 00:10:31,611 It's what you need to do. 271 00:10:38,186 --> 00:10:39,954 - Hey, Zach? - Yeah? 272 00:10:39,988 --> 00:10:41,656 - Frank wants you to be his bartender. 273 00:10:41,690 --> 00:10:43,392 - What you need? - Give me an Irish whiskey. 274 00:10:43,426 --> 00:10:44,626 - All right. 275 00:10:44,661 --> 00:10:45,694 Neat? - Please. 276 00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:48,164 - All right. 277 00:10:48,198 --> 00:10:51,300 Frank, you look like someone that's drinking away pain. 278 00:10:51,335 --> 00:10:54,304 - You hit the nail on the head, kid. 279 00:10:54,338 --> 00:10:55,638 Lady troubles again. 280 00:10:55,673 --> 00:10:57,541 Another one broke my heart. 281 00:10:57,575 --> 00:10:59,576 - Well, you do know what they say. 282 00:10:59,611 --> 00:11:02,846 Love is convincing yourself that one girl 283 00:11:02,881 --> 00:11:05,349 Is different from all the rest. 284 00:11:05,384 --> 00:11:06,784 - Wow. 285 00:11:06,819 --> 00:11:08,953 You really put it in perspective for me, kid. 286 00:11:08,988 --> 00:11:11,590 - No problem. 287 00:11:11,624 --> 00:11:13,725 - Hey, uh, Louie? 288 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,396 You know, uh, it was once said 289 00:11:16,430 --> 00:11:19,699 That love is convincing a girl that... 290 00:11:19,733 --> 00:11:22,703 You're not one. 291 00:11:22,737 --> 00:11:24,338 - Can you send over the other bartender? 292 00:11:24,372 --> 00:11:25,606 - Sure. 293 00:11:27,300 --> 00:11:28,466 - Hey, Ken. 294 00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:31,601 Um, there's a really hot woman over there. 295 00:11:31,636 --> 00:11:33,269 She needs to talk to a manager. 296 00:11:33,303 --> 00:11:36,972 - Okay, I'll see what she wants. 297 00:11:37,006 --> 00:11:39,707 - [mouths silently] that's him. 298 00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:40,875 - Hi, my name's Ken. 299 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,143 I'm the manager. How can I help you? 300 00:11:42,177 --> 00:11:43,377 - [chuckles] 301 00:11:43,412 --> 00:11:45,412 I have a complaint, Ken. 302 00:11:45,447 --> 00:11:46,413 - Okay. 303 00:11:46,448 --> 00:11:49,683 - Your face isn't in my tits. 304 00:11:49,717 --> 00:11:51,684 - [chuckles] okay. 305 00:11:51,719 --> 00:11:54,120 - That's my complaint. - All right. 306 00:11:54,154 --> 00:11:55,588 - So really what is the complaint? 307 00:11:55,622 --> 00:11:57,122 - I have one complaint. - Okay. 308 00:11:57,157 --> 00:11:59,224 - I have a real complaint. - Okay. 309 00:11:59,259 --> 00:12:02,260 - My tits don't have your face in them. 310 00:12:02,295 --> 00:12:04,161 - Okay, do you have a real complaint? 311 00:12:04,196 --> 00:12:06,230 - I do have a real complaint. - Okay. 312 00:12:06,264 --> 00:12:09,833 - My tits told me they want your face in them. 313 00:12:09,867 --> 00:12:11,234 - That's still the face in the tits. 314 00:12:11,268 --> 00:12:12,368 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 315 00:12:12,403 --> 00:12:13,669 - Do you have a complaint about... 316 00:12:13,704 --> 00:12:14,937 - It's called a "motorboat." 317 00:12:14,971 --> 00:12:17,372 - [chuckles] okay. 318 00:12:17,407 --> 00:12:20,275 - Are these yours? 319 00:12:20,309 --> 00:12:21,576 - Yes, they are. - Oh, no wonder. 320 00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:23,110 You're a fag, okay. No problem. 321 00:12:23,144 --> 00:12:24,445 - Excuse me? - Yeah, I get it. 322 00:12:24,479 --> 00:12:26,079 Every girl needs a gay friend. 323 00:12:26,114 --> 00:12:27,848 I could be your friend. 324 00:12:27,882 --> 00:12:30,751 - These happen to be trophies from my marriage. 325 00:12:30,785 --> 00:12:33,019 - Trophies of homosexuality. 326 00:12:33,054 --> 00:12:34,421 - I'm not homosexual! 327 00:12:34,455 --> 00:12:37,390 - I'd be angry too if I wasn't allowed to marry. 328 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:39,692 - You tell me what on earth is homosexual 329 00:12:39,727 --> 00:12:41,127 About a crying angel? 330 00:12:41,162 --> 00:12:42,530 - Everything. 331 00:12:42,564 --> 00:12:44,868 See you later, Ken. 332 00:12:44,902 --> 00:12:46,037 - What is the matter with you? 333 00:12:46,071 --> 00:12:47,538 - You think that these are homosexual? 334 00:12:47,572 --> 00:12:50,443 - Very. [sighs] 335 00:12:53,115 --> 00:12:54,450 - I know you've told me not to call, 336 00:12:54,484 --> 00:12:55,885 But I just wanted to give you your chance. 337 00:12:55,919 --> 00:12:58,355 Apparently they're worth a lot of money on Ebay. 338 00:12:58,390 --> 00:12:59,590 I'm not trying to tell you how you feel. 339 00:12:59,625 --> 00:13:00,859 - Hi, Karen! 340 00:13:00,893 --> 00:13:02,361 It's Bruce. - Bruce is here. 341 00:13:02,396 --> 00:13:04,131 - Hi, Karen. - Enough. 342 00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:05,837 Bruce is being ridiculous. That's all. 343 00:13:05,872 --> 00:13:07,107 Stop it. 344 00:13:07,141 --> 00:13:08,343 Karen, please just consider... 345 00:13:08,377 --> 00:13:09,644 What are you doing? 346 00:13:09,678 --> 00:13:11,578 - "I'm burning!" - stop it. 347 00:13:11,612 --> 00:13:13,379 - "Karen!" - I'm not talking to you. 348 00:13:13,414 --> 00:13:14,547 Stop it! - "Karen, save me!" 349 00:13:14,582 --> 00:13:15,882 - I'm sorry I have to go. I love you. 350 00:13:15,916 --> 00:13:17,783 Don't tell me I can't tell you I love you! 351 00:13:17,818 --> 00:13:19,718 - "Ken's mutilating me." - op it! 352 00:13:19,753 --> 00:13:21,086 - Why are you talking to Karen? 353 00:13:21,121 --> 00:13:23,289 You should be on Ebay selling these pieces of crap. 354 00:13:23,323 --> 00:13:25,524 - I was trying to get rid of them in my own way. 355 00:13:25,558 --> 00:13:27,759 - That woman is poison. Stay away from her. 356 00:13:27,793 --> 00:13:29,060 - She's not poison. 357 00:13:29,095 --> 00:13:30,729 - She used to ground you, Ken. 358 00:13:30,763 --> 00:13:32,163 - They weren't groundings. 359 00:13:32,197 --> 00:13:34,098 Those were intimacy restrictions. 360 00:13:34,133 --> 00:13:35,767 We were restricted from other activities 361 00:13:35,801 --> 00:13:37,302 In order to be intimate. 362 00:13:37,336 --> 00:13:40,038 - You obviously can't sell these, so I'll do it myself. 363 00:13:40,072 --> 00:13:41,606 - [scoffs] fine. 364 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:42,674 - Good. 365 00:13:42,708 --> 00:13:43,808 We'll make a little money on Ebay. 366 00:13:43,842 --> 00:13:45,276 - Make sure you get a good price. 367 00:13:45,310 --> 00:13:47,912 - No man goes to a cunnilingus class against his will. 368 00:13:47,946 --> 00:13:49,547 - It wasn't against my will. I enjoyed it. 369 00:13:49,581 --> 00:13:51,448 They had dolls like Resusci Annies 370 00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:53,016 And it was very instructive. 371 00:13:53,051 --> 00:13:55,456 - That woman took a shot at you with a gun. 372 00:13:55,490 --> 00:13:57,892 - It was not a real gun. You always bring that up. 373 00:13:57,926 --> 00:14:00,160 It was a highly-pumped BB gun. 374 00:14:03,898 --> 00:14:05,465 I mean, she's the love of my life. 375 00:14:05,499 --> 00:14:06,966 I mean, I know people thought 376 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,201 That she was abrasive because she'd tell them 377 00:14:09,236 --> 00:14:11,804 That she was bored with them and stuff like that, but... 378 00:14:11,839 --> 00:14:14,040 - Ken, there's a lot of fish in the sea... 379 00:14:14,074 --> 00:14:17,377 But how many of those are your great white whale? 380 00:14:17,412 --> 00:14:20,280 Sometimes you're just gonna have to go after Moby Dick. 381 00:14:20,315 --> 00:14:22,516 - Yes. Yes! 382 00:14:22,550 --> 00:14:25,185 You know, I really appreciate you talking to me. 383 00:14:25,219 --> 00:14:26,353 Sometimes I feel like there's no one at this bar 384 00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:27,621 I can confide in. 385 00:14:27,655 --> 00:14:29,089 - No problem. 386 00:14:29,123 --> 00:14:30,357 - Can I ask you something? - Yeah. 387 00:14:30,391 --> 00:14:31,858 - Hey, Ken, what's up? You seem bummed. 388 00:14:31,892 --> 00:14:33,593 - Yeah, look, could you go break down 389 00:14:33,627 --> 00:14:35,261 Some boxes in the back, please? 390 00:14:35,296 --> 00:14:37,597 - Yeah. 391 00:14:37,631 --> 00:14:39,333 - Would you be willing to mediate 392 00:14:39,367 --> 00:14:42,269 Between Karen and me? 393 00:14:42,303 --> 00:14:44,304 Night. 394 00:14:48,276 --> 00:14:49,810 - Hey. 395 00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:51,045 Are you still open? 396 00:14:51,079 --> 00:14:53,548 - Oh, actually, we're just closing. 397 00:14:53,583 --> 00:14:56,018 - Oh. - But you know what? 398 00:14:56,052 --> 00:14:58,921 We could make an exception. 399 00:14:58,956 --> 00:15:00,490 Get you a drink in just under the wire. 400 00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:01,725 - Thank you. 401 00:15:01,759 --> 00:15:03,193 I really could use one. 402 00:15:03,228 --> 00:15:04,728 - Oh, yeah? - Yes. 403 00:15:04,763 --> 00:15:07,365 I had a very long day. 404 00:15:07,399 --> 00:15:08,432 It's boring. - No, no. 405 00:15:08,467 --> 00:15:09,467 Tell me about it. 406 00:15:09,501 --> 00:15:11,202 - Uh... 407 00:15:11,237 --> 00:15:13,872 I'm in a restaurant-management training program. 408 00:15:13,907 --> 00:15:15,875 It's really difficult. - No way. 409 00:15:15,909 --> 00:15:17,577 - Yeah, it's kind of kicking my ass. 410 00:15:17,611 --> 00:15:19,579 - I'm a graduate of soup ranch university. 411 00:15:19,614 --> 00:15:21,215 - You're kidding me. - Uh-huh. 412 00:15:21,249 --> 00:15:23,885 - Ugh, I applied there and I didn't get in. 413 00:15:23,919 --> 00:15:25,487 - Hey, don't beat up on yourself. 414 00:15:25,521 --> 00:15:26,721 - I mean, I was wait-listed. 415 00:15:26,756 --> 00:15:28,023 I just couldn't wait that long. 416 00:15:28,057 --> 00:15:29,024 - I know. I know. 417 00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:30,025 It's pretty competitive. 418 00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:31,026 I think my essay got me in. 419 00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:32,495 Hardest three weeks of my life. 420 00:15:32,529 --> 00:15:34,430 - I believe that. - But don't worry. 421 00:15:34,465 --> 00:15:36,266 You're gonna look back on this training 422 00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:37,834 And you're gonna realize it was the most 423 00:15:37,869 --> 00:15:39,603 Meaningful experience of your life. 424 00:15:39,637 --> 00:15:40,871 - Really? - Yes. 425 00:15:40,905 --> 00:15:42,440 And you're gonna walk away with the knowledge 426 00:15:42,474 --> 00:15:44,375 That successful restaurant management 427 00:15:44,410 --> 00:15:48,379 Ultimately comes down to the eternal yin-yang 428 00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:49,381 Between cost control... 429 00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:51,783 Both: And customer satisfaction. 430 00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,819 - [chuckles] 431 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,891 - Could I buy you that drink? 432 00:16:00,882 --> 00:16:06,151 [ Histling melody] 433 00:16:06,185 --> 00:16:07,852 - What's up, happy feet? - Oh, uh, nothing. 434 00:16:07,886 --> 00:16:10,420 I just met a woman yesterday. 435 00:16:10,455 --> 00:16:12,088 In fact, yesterday turned into last night 436 00:16:12,122 --> 00:16:14,690 And we were intimate. 437 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:16,925 - Things are turning around for you, huh? 438 00:16:16,959 --> 00:16:18,793 - Yeah, it was pretty special. 439 00:16:18,827 --> 00:16:20,494 It wasn't your typical, "if you're done, 440 00:16:20,528 --> 00:16:21,994 You can get off me now," type of thing. 441 00:16:22,029 --> 00:16:23,095 - That's not typical. 442 00:16:23,129 --> 00:16:24,396 - You're welcome, Ken. 443 00:16:24,430 --> 00:16:25,730 Pay up. Gimme the grand. 444 00:16:25,765 --> 00:16:27,364 Come on. 445 00:16:27,399 --> 00:16:30,233 I'm only making $250 after I had to pay that broad off. 446 00:16:33,770 --> 00:16:35,203 - Oh, no. 447 00:16:35,237 --> 00:16:38,738 That woman was a prostitute? 448 00:16:38,773 --> 00:16:41,106 - Yeah, of course she was a hooker. 449 00:16:41,141 --> 00:16:42,741 You think anybody like that's gonna let you 450 00:16:42,775 --> 00:16:44,408 Do the scissor kick with her for nothing? 451 00:16:44,443 --> 00:16:45,876 Come on. 452 00:16:45,910 --> 00:16:48,078 - So all that stuff about 453 00:16:48,112 --> 00:16:51,046 Loving restaurant management... 454 00:16:51,081 --> 00:16:52,547 That was a lie? 455 00:16:58,153 --> 00:16:59,419 - Why you got to bring that up in front of him? 456 00:16:59,454 --> 00:17:00,487 - What? 457 00:17:00,521 --> 00:17:01,621 You act as if he's never had a pro 458 00:17:01,655 --> 00:17:02,722 Snap his noodle before. 459 00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:04,557 - He... ken? - Never? 460 00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:06,391 - Never. - He's got to get out more. 461 00:17:11,233 --> 00:17:13,868 - Oh, hey, Calvin. - Hey. 462 00:17:13,903 --> 00:17:16,207 - I got some good news and d news. 463 00:17:16,241 --> 00:17:19,077 My disease is in total remission. 464 00:17:19,112 --> 00:17:20,780 I'm not gonna die anymore. 465 00:17:20,815 --> 00:17:22,350 - That is good news and bad news. 466 00:17:22,384 --> 00:17:25,519 - No, the bad news is I can't work at the bar anymore. 467 00:17:25,554 --> 00:17:27,020 I have to go back to school. 468 00:17:27,055 --> 00:17:28,825 - Really? This is awesome! 469 00:17:28,862 --> 00:17:30,903 This is the best bad news I've ever heard. 470 00:17:30,938 --> 00:17:32,172 - Hey, Zach, can we talk? 471 00:17:32,207 --> 00:17:34,879 I'm going through some heavy stuff right now. 472 00:17:34,913 --> 00:17:37,118 - Ken, maybe you should hire a shrink. 473 00:17:37,152 --> 00:17:38,722 - What? 474 00:17:38,756 --> 00:17:41,128 - Dude, women hate you. Get over it. 475 00:17:41,162 --> 00:17:42,930 - Zach, sweetie? 476 00:17:42,964 --> 00:17:46,100 It's time to go now. 477 00:17:46,134 --> 00:17:47,168 You have all your stuff? 478 00:17:47,202 --> 00:17:51,938 - Yep. 479 00:17:51,973 --> 00:17:53,640 - What got into him? 480 00:17:53,675 --> 00:17:55,542 - He's not sick anymore. 481 00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:57,110 Hey, where's the money? - What do you mean? 482 00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:58,245 What happened to the money? 483 00:17:58,279 --> 00:17:59,779 - All the money's gone from the drawer. 484 00:17:59,814 --> 00:18:02,515 [cell phone rings] - what? 485 00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:04,550 [gasps] it's Karen! 486 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:07,085 Hi, Karen. 487 00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:09,420 Yeah. Yeah, I still have 'em. 488 00:18:09,454 --> 00:18:12,055 Absolutely. 489 00:18:12,089 --> 00:18:13,623 All right, I'll see you then. 490 00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:15,457 Karen wants the teardrop angels back. 491 00:18:15,492 --> 00:18:16,725 Where's Bruce? 492 00:18:16,759 --> 00:18:18,226 - He's in the alley. 493 00:18:18,260 --> 00:18:22,229 Am I in trouble? 494 00:18:22,263 --> 00:18:24,030 - Guess what! 495 00:18:24,064 --> 00:18:25,764 - Pull. 496 00:18:25,799 --> 00:18:26,932 - What are you doing? 497 00:18:26,966 --> 00:18:28,399 - Smashing angels. 498 00:18:28,434 --> 00:18:30,201 - You're supposed to be selling them online! 499 00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:31,568 - It's so complicated, Ken. 500 00:18:31,603 --> 00:18:33,570 You got to get bubble wrap, find the guy's address. 501 00:18:33,604 --> 00:18:35,404 It's not worth it. Pull. 502 00:18:35,439 --> 00:18:36,772 - What? No! 503 00:18:36,807 --> 00:18:37,973 Oh! - [laughs] 504 00:18:38,007 --> 00:18:39,942 - Karen... - home run! 505 00:18:39,976 --> 00:18:41,910 - Karen wants the teardrop angels. 506 00:18:41,945 --> 00:18:44,650 You see what that means? It's an olive branch. 507 00:18:44,684 --> 00:18:45,719 She's reaching out to me. 508 00:18:45,754 --> 00:18:47,524 She's giving me a chance. 509 00:18:47,559 --> 00:18:49,696 - Well, you're lucky, Ken. 510 00:18:49,730 --> 00:18:51,099 There's one left. 511 00:18:51,133 --> 00:18:53,936 - If there's only gonna be one, that's a good one. 512 00:18:53,970 --> 00:18:55,204 I got that for Karen the night 513 00:18:55,238 --> 00:18:56,805 After we consummated our relationship. 514 00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:58,573 - Pull. 515 00:18:58,608 --> 00:19:00,609 - No! 516 00:19:03,746 --> 00:19:05,413 - Well, I got to the bottom of that. 517 00:19:05,447 --> 00:19:07,815 No such thing as the wish it true foundation. 518 00:19:07,850 --> 00:19:09,150 That kid scammed us. 519 00:19:09,184 --> 00:19:10,718 - Can't believe you put us through that. 520 00:19:10,752 --> 00:19:11,886 - Just take it easy. 521 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:13,487 He made Calvin a better bartender. 522 00:19:13,522 --> 00:19:15,122 - Don't try to find a silver lining. 523 00:19:15,157 --> 00:19:17,391 And by the way, thank you for ruining my chances 524 00:19:17,426 --> 00:19:18,726 Of getting back together with Karen. 525 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:19,960 - You're welcome. 526 00:19:19,995 --> 00:19:21,128 Who wants to live with a woman 527 00:19:21,162 --> 00:19:22,763 That controls what you watch on television? 528 00:19:22,797 --> 00:19:23,764 - As long as she was asleep, 529 00:19:23,798 --> 00:19:25,032 I could watch anything I wanted. 530 00:19:25,066 --> 00:19:26,633 - No man should be married to a wife 531 00:19:26,667 --> 00:19:28,935 Who says she has no sensation in her vagina. 532 00:19:28,969 --> 00:19:31,872 - It was called hysterical vaginal paralysis 533 00:19:31,906 --> 00:19:32,872 And it happens. 534 00:19:32,907 --> 00:19:34,374 - Okay. - Excuse me. 535 00:19:34,408 --> 00:19:36,142 - Hi there. - Hello. 536 00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:37,476 - Excuse me a second. 537 00:19:37,511 --> 00:19:38,744 - Thank you. 538 00:19:38,779 --> 00:19:43,283 So, uh, I'm sure you know about last night. 539 00:19:43,318 --> 00:19:44,585 - Yes, I do. 540 00:19:44,619 --> 00:19:46,620 - I totally understand if you're angry. 541 00:19:46,654 --> 00:19:49,255 - I'm not angry. I'm hurt. 542 00:19:49,290 --> 00:19:51,491 I told you things about the soup ranch 543 00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:52,860 That only a manager should know. 544 00:19:52,895 --> 00:19:54,228 - For whatever it's worth, 545 00:19:54,262 --> 00:19:57,064 I really do have an interest in restaurant management. 546 00:19:57,098 --> 00:20:00,034 I can't be a call girl forever. 547 00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:01,201 Listen, it's, um... 548 00:20:01,236 --> 00:20:04,104 It's my night off. 549 00:20:04,139 --> 00:20:07,074 Would you like to grab a cup of coffee, just talk? 550 00:20:07,109 --> 00:20:08,943 - You're not getting paid to do this, are you? 551 00:20:08,977 --> 00:20:10,077 - No. 552 00:20:10,112 --> 00:20:11,445 - And you really do have an interest 553 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:12,713 In restaurant management? 554 00:20:12,748 --> 00:20:14,982 - I do. I really do. 555 00:20:15,016 --> 00:20:16,784 - I'd love to get a cup of coffee with you. 556 00:20:16,818 --> 00:20:18,052 - Good. 557 00:20:18,086 --> 00:20:19,320 - Just let me change my shirt. 558 00:20:19,354 --> 00:20:20,755 - Okay. 559 00:20:29,631 --> 00:20:32,433 - Hey, this isn't just for coffee, all right? 560 00:20:32,467 --> 00:20:34,836 - You know what? Just keep it. 561 00:20:34,870 --> 00:20:36,604 - No, no. I want you to... 562 00:20:36,639 --> 00:20:37,672 - No. 563 00:20:37,707 --> 00:20:39,074 - Really? 564 00:20:39,108 --> 00:20:41,276 - I like him. He's a sweet guy. 565 00:20:41,311 --> 00:20:42,645 - For free? - Yeah. 566 00:20:42,679 --> 00:20:44,147 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 567 00:20:44,181 --> 00:20:47,050 - [chuckles] wow, okay. 568 00:20:51,222 --> 00:20:52,789 He's gone. - Thank you. 569 00:20:52,790 --> 00:20:54,290 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 570 00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:58,890 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40423

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