All language subtitles for Hidden Love (2007)

The last time I didn't take
enough.

And the time before, I out my
veins with Luc's razor.

'Hidden Love'

No one loves me, no money, no
job, no lovers,

I want nothing and hope for
nothing.

I'm Sophie's mother.

Danielle?

I'm Doctor Nielsen.

Remember me'?

I'm here to help you.

Can you hear me'?

Don't be afraid of your voice

Not talking doesn't mean not
existing.

It's like existing disarmed,

with no shape, no power.

You're angry, but you're alive.

Try to say a word,

any word.

Words create the World.

Words destroy it,

they're the only thing that
could really annihilate it.

You can invent them, if you
want.

Invent them, if you are able to.

Use them as you wish

It isn't necessary to have a new
page every time,

but do as you wish

The important thing is to write
Whatever comes to mind,

to keep talking about yourself.

It's really important, you
understand, don't you'?

I want to help you

At that moment she was just the
pain

that had torn my body.

I just wanted an injection so I
could sleep.

Doctor, do you think this
reaction

is that of a heartless,
unnatural mother?

You who've studied the human
brain

tell me, why, after giving birth
like a dog's bitch,

the human female can't get rid
of her child,

if it disturbs her

or even devour it?"

Sophie has small eyes,

a low forehead, knitted brows,

flat cheeks, and teeth so White
they seem fake.

I never thought she was pretty,
even when she was a child.

It's nothing...

- I need to sit. - Want to sit
down?

Please...

Put your feet in the stirrups.

- What are you doing'? - I'm
going to examine you.

- I can't breathe. - Lift your
head.

Breathe and push.

Yes, that's good.

Don't worry, the baby's fine.

Another contraction?

Isn't a C-section better? I'm
suffering too much.

No, you're doing okay.

Is another contraction coming'?

We're almost there.

All of a sudden my belly was
emptied

like a washstand that's been
un-clogged.

It's a beautiful girl.

How did you feel when you saw
your daughter?

Indifference, embarrassment,

I couldn't have cared less that
she was my daughter.

The grandparents' happiness, my
husband in ecstasy...

It took my focus away from those
first moments

and this was fatal for Sophie
and me.

I couldn't share their
enthusiasm.

The acceptance of my maternity

was immediately tainted by a
sense of guilt

that was never to leave me.

Look!

I always felt guilty,

when she didn't sleep, when she
didn't eat,

when she had a stomach ache,

when she skinned her knee,

when she got sick, when she fell
out of bed.

And it happened often because I
Wasn't a careful mother.

To make amends, I quit my job

and heaped all my attention, my
anguish onto her.

I smothered her with gifts
clothes,

loads of things.

Sophie has always been a bony
girl,

not very pretty.

It was not love at first sight
between us.

I'm pretty I

I'm pretty, I have nice curls,
I'm pretty...

I think she could never really
stand me,

not even when she was a child.

- What did you say'? - Wash
yourself.

- With What? - Isn't there any
soap?

At age three, she wanted to Wash
and dress herself,

I'm sure that was because she
couldn't stand my touch.

Michel was 11 years older than
me.

He'd sweat all the time, after
some years it disgusted me.

Right after we got married, he
asked me to stop taking the pill.

I continued taking it behind his
back.

How long would it have lasted

if I hadn't realized I couldn't
stand his hands and his body.

He was never aware of anything,
he kept being so nice,

so thoughtful, and I felt
guilty.

Like someone who kicks a dog
that comes up wagging its tail.

I couldn't stand him any more,
and was even violent with him.

He never reacted, he'd take it,
with his kind eyes.

This nauseated me.

He perspired tenderness and so,
I stopped the pill.

It was the violence of his
tenderness

that obliged me to become a
mother.

Mom, can you see me'?

Why do you look at me like I
were a ghost?

Go away, you don't exist

You're just a delusion of my
sick brain.

It's great to feel so loved I

Dad was Warmer, remember'?

Stop, Sophie, stop it I

We were like lovers,
roughhousing and fawning.

Two lovers, can you imagine
that?

I even get you mixed up, you've
got the same expression...

You're the same person.

You're right,

it's nothing to do with that old
story,

it's between you and me, it
concerns just the two of us.

You've always hated me.

To defend myself, I had to hate
you as Well.

You made me like this, you're my
mother

I came along later.

You'll have to admit it sooner
or later,

with all the responsibility it
involves.

As you grew up, I hated all your
values,

everything that was stupid and
insignificant for me.

Your money, your husband.

I married Claude only because
you didn't like him,

because you considered him
economically unreliable.

You've always made your choices
against me.

You left me no choice,

everything revolved around you.

You kept all emotions to
yourself, hunger, thirst,

hate, guilt,

malice, innocence.

It's impossible to be with you
without feeling like shit.

Look at me, open your eyes.

I'm the monster...

that embodies your worst flaws.

I want to show you something
Danielle.

It might be useful for your
therapy, though I'm not sure how.

You're an intelligent woman,

don't let yourself sink down so.

That's all.

It's time to go back now.

I don't want to go back the
nursing home.

I'd been afraid of Sophie for
years.

Her coming to my house used to
terrify me,

I was afraid she'd find...

a worm in the salad

a spiderweb on a lamp, or a
glass that didn't sparkle.

So I'd clean...

wash, make everything shine, but
she'd always say...

that my house was dirty.

That I was dirty.

When Dominique was six months
old...

she left her with me for two
days, it went so badly.

Sophie was

very violent with me.

I was so anguished...

having to follow her
instructions,

that it went all Wrong.

It Wasn't a pleasure any more...

to see my granddaughter, during
this first and last contact

that I had with her.

When Sophie returned,

the child had diarrhea,

so she accused me of...

feeding her junky food

not Washing the salad, having
dirty hands.

She never left her with me
again, in any case, I'm sure...

that even if she had,

things would have gone bad
again.

Try asking yourself what Sophie
expected,

what any mammal offspring
expects from its mother.

The tools, the means for
survival.

Understand, Danielle?

An arduous task, often a
desperate one.

Might this have been the cause of
the chasm between the two of you?

Have you ever tried putting
yourself in her shoes

Would you like to know Why I
showed you that short film'?

Do you think you really know
yourself?

It doesn't matter.

Yes, it does I

what matters is to know the
people close to us.

No, people come and go, While we
are always here.

Does a daughter come and go too'?

And does a mother come and go?

The only one who stays is you,
Doctor.

You who don't get your hands too
dirty.

We all die, soon or later.

We'll all die.

Have you got children?

No.

A shame, being a mother is
important.

You might be Wrong to think it's
so obvious, so logical.

Why, isn't it'?

No, despite appearances.

You're a hypocrite I

You lie.

What are you trying to tell me'?

Perhaps the fact I don't know
who my mother is could help you,

if you think about it.

What do I get from that? It
won't help me live better.

You're right.

It's a sort of tightrope
Walking.

I'm not interested in your
tightrope Walking.

Well then...

What are you interested in'?

There's no drama, no suffering
that cannot be relieved,

is that what you're trying to
make me believe'?

Like just saying you're sorry is
enough to be forgiven

or just swallowing your pride

will bring back a lover...

who doesn't love you any more.

You don't know what pain is,

neither your own nor that of
others, you think you know...

but you're Wrong.

You're lucky though, no mother
laid ut your path.

Why do you rub your hands like
that?

Leave me alone, Why don't you go
watch your film again?

Real parents don't exist.

Everyone thinks they can be one,
but parents don't exist,

there are only children,
children...

children of children, children
of children of children...

ad nauseam.

There's just a trail of blood
and irresponsibility.

Your mother, the one you say...

you never knew, I'd like to meet
her.

I'm sure we'd get along

We'd speak badly of Sophie and
you.

I'm sorry.

Know What? I don't really care.

She always talks to me like...

she's blaming me for
something...

She always says nasty things to
me,

since she first looked at me...

her eyes were feverish,
scornful, as if...

she were saying,"You'll see what
you'll see!"

Sophie was the inauspicious
event of my life,

without her I'd have lived a
little better.

But if she'd confessed her
secret, crying her heart out,

my heart would have melted...

I might have felt pity for her,
instead of horror,

I'd have tried to comfort her,

and then, maybe I'd have felt...

I don't know, something that
resembles love.

Let's go back to the room.

Sophie Wasn't even a year old

when I understood I'd never be a
good mom.

I knew it right away.

Morris, is that you'?

Yes.

That way, second floor.

Doctor, don't be taken in by my
mother.

She fools everyone.

She's an incredible actress.

But she's a Woman who has no
heart, she's destructive

as Well as devastating.

Your mother is a sick and
vulnerable Woman who needs help.

I've been sick too.

It's no good to take it that
way.

You're wrong,

I've learned to do the opposite
of what she's always done to me.

Besides, I can't afford to spend
350 euros a day

for her to act out her
narcissism and her paranoia.

I'm sorry,

but in the present
circumstances,

your mother is in no condition
to return home

and conduct a normal life again.

- May I recommend that... - So
you believe her.

- May I recommend that... - So
you believe her.

Don't you think that, after all,
I might love her?

I'm her daughter.

She's my mother.

Here's my darling little girl!

Got a kiss'?

Here we go I Can I have that
kiss'?

Did you see the new neighbors'?

The other time we saw a Woman
dressed in blue, remember?

Did you see her today?

Sophie

always

manipulates

things...

to her advantage.

When she... talks

about an episode

or about a...

moment

which we...

experienced...

What I remember,

I.....

it's as if...

she talked

about something

Which...

she never really experienced.

Together it's...

completely

different.

That summer in Dieppe, along
time ago,

is described by Sophie in three
unpleasant episodes:

My shameful attempts to seduce
Luc...

Francine, in tears after
breaking her engagement,

accusing me of ruining her
life...

and Luc rushing back to Paris
and offering us a lift.

But I swear, Doctor, things
didn't go like that.

- Are you okay, Sophie? - Yes,
Mommy.

We returned to Paris by train,

Luc just took us to the station.

Four months later, at Christmas,
Francine and Luc broke up.

For a couple of months we met by
chance.

I heard he was living near me.

When he told me that every
Wednesday, his free morning,

he spied on me at that traffic
light, I was shocked.

That afternoon I dropped Sophie
at my mother's

and went to the hairdresser's
for a out and coloring.

When I picked up Sophie, she
looked at me as if...

I was Luc's mistress from the
summer of 1989

to the autumn of 1999.

Sophie did everything possible
to separate us,

a never-ending struggle

In time, her remarks became
sharper and sharper,

going straight to the mark.

After nine years she managed to
do it.

I know this may sound absurd to
YOU,

but your relationship would have
ended sooner or later anyway.

When Luc talked to me, I could
hear Sophie's shrill voice...

accusing me.

Your relationship would have
ended anyway,

sooner or later.

As nearly all love stories do

I was totally emptied, I
couldn't concentrate.

Sophie's not all-powerful.

It didn't take her two days or two
months to spoil your love story,

it took her nine years!

Think about it: nine long years.

Why do you behave like that?
I've always been with you.

Luc is the only other person I
see.

I don't want you to go

It's only two days, 150
kilometers from Paris.

A stroll in the country, some
parents are gone much longer.

Don't touch me.

You can't ask me to live just
for you.

I need to see people.

Aren't we enough for each other?

No, we need other people.

- I need you. - That's not true.

I don't believe you I

What are you doing'?

What are you doing'?

She wanted so badly to make me
feel guilty

that she could almost control
her body

and make herself vomit, give
herself a fever.

She had just turned fifteen.

But Sophie wanted to keep the
baby?

It was all over in a couple of
hours.

We left the house at 8, and at
10 we were back home.

On the Way over, she thanked me
for what I was doing...

on the Way back though...

Stay away from me, you're
hideous, a monster.

You don't understand a thing!

Then one day Luc told me he was
in love with another Woman.

In other words,

it's a question of the sum of
work and energy

that the animal species invest
in raising their offspring.

We define it as "love".

This graph indicates the
variables existing in nature.

Man

is the animal that dedicates the
most time

in preparing his offspring

to face the World and survive
autonomously.

In other words, he dedicates 20

to 30 years to this.

Immediately after Man,

come the anthropoid apes.

At the low end of the scale are
fish.

Most fish

lay their eggs in open water and
forget about them.

But Man takes care of his
progeny,

he feeds, educates, loves it

for a very long period,

that is, about one third of its
existence.

It is to this aim that Man
creates families,

in different ways depending on
the culture,

but with the same primordial
purpose

to prepare his own children to
survive on their own.

Parents should be sufficiently
aware

of life themselves.

They should know the logic which
animates it and the way to survive.

But for how many of us do these
premises truly exist'?

Fish lay many eggs,

since only a few, with a little
luck, will become living beings.

Their strategies might seem
primitive

and even cruel,

but they might think as foolish,

our Way of guaranteeing lineage

When an egg shrivels in the sun
or is carried by the tides,

there's always another, luckier
one.

Man, though,

can lose everything in one
moment.

I'm not serene any more,

it's as if these two Women are
fighting inside me,

as if they've found a new ground
to battle on

and their struggles pass through
me.

What's important isn't
necessarily the truth.

I'm up to my neck in this.

Could you live without truth?

What I mean is...

I'm a guide, aren't I'? I should
know the territory.

I mean, I know...

the in-between zone.

Would you fuck someone else'?

I'm sorry for being late
tonight.

Don't be a hypocrite.

You're fed up with all these
stories too.

Finally, we can eat.

We should think about ourselves.

That's the only thing they do.

Who'?

Our clients.

Mrs. Girard?

It's nearly 11 o'clock.

Come on, time to wake up

Good morning, how are you this
morning'?

Remember'? We're moving today.

We told you, come on, no
fussing.

You'll be as satisfied in
Billanoourt as you were here

Where's Doctor Nielsen?

Which ones do you prefer'?

Between those two.

The one on the right.

Me too.

- Is it for a gift'? - No, I
design them.

That's my job

and I like to ask people's
opinions.

What's your name?

Are you cold?

Come, I'll offer you something
hot.

No, thank you.

It's right there.

Five minutes, there's no harm.

- Please accept. - Alright.

I won't ask you Where you live
or your phone number.

I'd just like to listen again to
your voice.

If you want to jealously guard
your private life, I don't care,

invent all you want

Whatever you like.

I'll blindly believe everything
you say.

I promise.

In high school I dreamed of
being a teacher.

I loved philosophy.

I started menstruating in
1972...

the year Coca-Cola landed in
Peking.

I could still have children.

Your gaze is extraordinary, you
know that?

I've never met a Woman with such
a gaze.

It's like a Whirlwind on open
seas,

I feel grabbed inside.

I can't get free of it.

I hope I'm not pregnant.

Don't worry.

I'm sterile.

What did you want to prove?

Shit, Mom, I don't know What's
happening to you.

Madeleine claims you're in good
faith, but...

She's convinced you're doing
your best to get better.

Madeleine?

Madeleine Nielsen.

But I know you well enough not
to believe you like she does.

Why did you move me here'?

Listen to me, once and for all.

Marc never paid for the clinic,

I did, all by myself.

Even though this shitty place
costs 200 euros less,

I don't know how much longer I
can afford it.

What are you doing'? Stop it I

If in a While you're not capable
of living normally,

I'll ask the judge if I can sell
your house.

I have no other choice.

Want to keep acting like you're
crazy?

Okay, concede yourself this
luxury,

but on your own money.

When you get fed up, you'll find
the rest in the bank.

I hope it will be enough to pay
rent for you.

What the hell do you want'?

What do you want from me'?

Make me feel guilty? Frighten
me'?

Make me feel like a bitch?

It doesn't work any more, you
hurt me as much as you could,

you can't hurt me more.

You set up this whole act so
that Marc

would think I was the daughter
of a degenerate.

Stop looking at me like that, in
that wretched-looking Way.

I'm not Madeleine.

Where are you going'? Go back
there.

Sit down!

Now hear me out.

Stuff yourself with sleeping
pills,

throw yourself from the window,

live like a homeless wretch,

pretend you're dumb, I could
care less!

So I suggest you do What's best
for yourself

and not what you think will hurt
me most.

That's what she's made me
become.

That's what I made of that small
being

that I expelled 23 years ago.

If I close my eyes I can still
hear her crying.

I mustn't panic.

It takes just a few hours to
bring back the past.

That's what I did that tonight,

with the ferocious Wish to hate
myself as much as Sophie does.

One ugly human being gave life
to another

just as ugly.

Sophie hates me and I wish I'd
never given birth to her.

What's life's best moment,
Doctor?

And Why did I miss it'?

Where was I when that moment
came and Went?

I wish I would die

Sophie...

had an accident.

She died a few hours ago.

How could she do this to me...

"Dear Doctor, now,

after three Weeks, my mind is
foggy...

I'm Wondering if there's any greater
despair than maternal love.

Maybe you can give me an answer.

I already knew she'd killed
herself,

and I hated her with all my might
for having done it before me.

I stood at that rectangle of
cement

hating her for having stolen my
place,

for not having left me even one
good memory,

and for not having given her one
good memory to take with her.

A bad mother and a small heap of
bones,

that's all that will remain of
our story.

Then, all of a sudden, I thought
of Dominique."

"My daughter has only you, now,

I hope you'll be able to explain
my death to her.

Dominique is a Wonderful little
girl,

it won't be hard for you to love
each other."