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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:04,612 You know the Neil thing? I reckon you probably need to tool up. 2 00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:07,111 [Richard] Go and put the security cameras up quickly. 3 00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:08,783 Izzy, this is Richard, 4 00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:11,239 -an online therapist that I see... -Yeah, nice to meet you. 5 00:00:11,311 --> 00:00:13,651 There's a thing that's worse. I killed someone. 6 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:15,947 -I'm sorry I can't go through with the vasectomy. -[Screams in pain] 7 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:18,476 -I love Starsky and Hutch. -Isn't it the best show ever? 8 00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:21,015 -Are you for real? -Waka taka, waka taka, waka taka. 9 00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:24,857 -I just want you to come and see me. -I will, Mum, I will. 10 00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:26,325 You come back now. 11 00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:29,427 -Okay, fine. I... -Okay, thank you. 12 00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:38,870 [Doorbell rings] 13 00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:40,139 Door. 14 00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:50,823 Izzy! 15 00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:52,091 -Morning. -[Woman] Hey. 16 00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:07,528 Ah, wow, what is this? 17 00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:11,573 -Fuck off. -[Chuckles] 18 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,057 -[Both giggling] -It's crazy. 19 00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:38,097 [Grunts in pain] 20 00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:42,767 [Doorbell ringing] 21 00:01:47,207 --> 00:01:49,577 -[Doorbell ringing] -Uh, morning. 22 00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:52,511 [Sighs] 23 00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:58,046 Hi, Jon. 24 00:01:58,084 --> 00:02:01,394 Finally. Honestly, Richard, you want a job done, you do it yourself. 25 00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:03,694 Mummy, Jonny's here. 26 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,530 -Mum! -[Woman] Jon-Jon! 27 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,486 Oh, darling... 28 00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:14,171 It's so good. What... Where you going? 29 00:02:14,267 --> 00:02:16,497 Jesus, Richard. Trunky want a bun? 30 00:02:23,009 --> 00:02:24,549 -Richard -Yeah what? 31 00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:26,781 -I've just been given it some serious thought. -Right. 32 00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:29,047 I think Neil is gonna hurt you. I think he is gonna hurt you bad. 33 00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:31,622 I think he's gonna torture you. I think he's really gonna cut you up. 34 00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,485 He is gonna cut off your balls. 35 00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:36,487 I'm gonna get your gonads and your penis in a box sent to me. 36 00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:38,463 Pete... 37 00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:41,355 Have you sorted out the gear for the party tonight? 38 00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:43,301 Leave it to me. It's fine, okay? 39 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:44,669 -You haven't got long. -Listen, 40 00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:46,471 I've been going through playlists. 41 00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:49,343 Thinking about you know, what goes with what, what comes next. 42 00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:51,339 -It's not that easy being a DJ. -Really? 43 00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:52,714 -Take it from me. -Right. 44 00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:54,613 -I've had lots of experience. -Yeah. 45 00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:57,181 We could start with a kind of Groove Armada kind of thing. 46 00:02:57,210 --> 00:03:00,050 -Right. -And then go into, sort of, some minimal kind of techno. 47 00:03:00,146 --> 00:03:03,046 -What's minimal techno? -We might highlight with a bit of Ace of Base. 48 00:03:03,149 --> 00:03:05,049 that'll be the peak, and then we'll come back down again, 49 00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:08,245 with Kruder & Dorfmeister or something like that, I don't know. 50 00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:10,458 -Play some Fleetwood Mac for me. -Oh, Christ! 51 00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:12,090 What's wrong with Fleetwood Mac? They are brilliant. 52 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:14,025 They're one of the biggest selling bands of all time. 53 00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:16,134 I think we can be a little bit more edgy than Fleetwood Mac. 54 00:03:16,162 --> 00:03:18,502 -Toto? -Oh... 55 00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:22,395 Now we're talking. Where would we be without Toto. 56 00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:25,613 Do they wanna do the dignity thing in Switzerland? 57 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:29,036 Well I haven't looked into it but I do know they do it in Switzerland. 58 00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:30,612 But they may do it in Germany, 59 00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:32,054 'Cause you see I don't want to go 60 00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:33,975 and die in dignity if I don't have to. 61 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,347 -No. -You know what I mean? 62 00:03:35,415 --> 00:03:37,245 I don't want to say, "Yes, okay..." 63 00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:39,153 [both] "I'm going to go and die." 64 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,919 And then the doctors suddenly say, 65 00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,591 -"Actually, ooh... Whoops." -Ooh... 66 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:44,856 -You know, you weren't that bad. -You've turned the corner, yes. 67 00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,385 -You know what I mean? -Yes. 68 00:03:46,459 --> 00:03:48,129 -I couldn't bear that. -No. 69 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:53,028 -Whereas, you know, maybe in Dubai, it's not so final. -No. 70 00:03:53,099 --> 00:03:55,099 [Video call ringing] 71 00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:57,498 -Richard, I can't talk right now... -No I need to talk to you. 72 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,671 -I need to... I need to... -I'll call you when I get back... 73 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,010 The best man on the whole world. 74 00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:04,142 -Now, Richard... -Werner, now is not the time... 75 00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:06,750 It does me much pain to say you this now 76 00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:09,023 and I know for you this is very tragic... 77 00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,749 -It's not the time. -Karen and me, 78 00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:13,617 -we have a massive relation to each other. -No, you don't. 79 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:16,387 You know we are very much in love in each other. 80 00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:18,486 -You are not in love with each other, Werner. -No, we are. 81 00:04:18,525 --> 00:04:20,255 -I know this is hard. -It's not hard, 82 00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:22,296 -it's not just true. -No... 83 00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:24,058 I know you feel like this. 84 00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:25,970 -Can I, can we just talk? -[Karen] It's very busy here, darling. 85 00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:28,542 -At the moment, it's quite stressful. -Yeah, it's very... 86 00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:31,509 Busy with the business of loving each other. 87 00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,572 -Werner, can I say something to you? This is... -Yeah. 88 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,407 -...unbelievably... -Yeah... 89 00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,809 -...inappropriate. It is... -I know it's very sad for you. 90 00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:40,111 -I don't phone your wife... -It's very, very sad, 91 00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:42,380 -and say, "Hey, I pumped a massive log into my pants!" -I know, listen I get a text. 92 00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:45,288 -Yeah, fine, I don't phone your wife and say... -[Mobile phone beeps] 93 00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:47,121 -Shit. Fuck me. -I'd suck the teats of a pig! 94 00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:49,390 In my fucking own shoes. 95 00:04:51,257 --> 00:04:52,687 What is wrong with him? 96 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,256 Something happened, I don't know what it was about. 97 00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:55,927 Okay, listen, Karen. 98 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,729 -I know you don't have long. I need to tell you... -I... 99 00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,434 I didn't go through with it. The vasectomy, I didn't do it. 100 00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,569 -I'm sorry. I'm saying sorry... -Oh, for goodness' sake... 101 00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:03,298 The one thing I needed you to do. 102 00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:05,269 I know, I know. I waxed everything 103 00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:07,168 I was gonna do it, have a look at that. 104 00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:08,737 I mean I... 105 00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:11,206 Oh... Oh... Oh... 106 00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:13,114 That is something I will never unsee 107 00:05:13,179 --> 00:05:14,879 -I'm so sorry. -Look... 108 00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,251 When I get home we'll rebook the appointment and we'll go together. 109 00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:19,953 All right? Maybe it wasn't a good idea to... 110 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:22,090 Excuse me, what are you doing? 111 00:05:22,188 --> 00:05:23,988 [Richard] Who's that? [Karen] That's mine. That's my laptop. 112 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,327 [Richard] Hey, hey, hey, put that down! 113 00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:27,085 -Put that down, please. -Put that down. Hello... 114 00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:28,827 -What are you... -Hey... What? 115 00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:34,570 [boy] "The church of scientology." 116 00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:37,171 -You're gonna join that? -I think so. 117 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:39,510 -Get the fuck out. -Ah... Hmm.. 118 00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:41,113 [Both laughing] 119 00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:44,578 -Let's get some other suggestions. -Uh.. Join... 120 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,546 The Army. 121 00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:49,854 -I mean like... -Have a look. 122 00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:51,250 Yeah, let's do it. 123 00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,045 [Mobile phone beeping] 124 00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:06,326 [Video call ringing] 125 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:09,136 Richard, Hi. [Exhales] 126 00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:10,739 How are you today? 127 00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:12,211 [Stammers] Yeah, not, not, not, not terribly well. 128 00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:15,935 -Oh. -I found a message on Izzy's phone, 129 00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:17,539 um, from someone, saying, 130 00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:19,711 -"I lick you forever." -Oh, no. 131 00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,550 And I don't know if it was, "I like you forever," 132 00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,975 -or it was actually just misspelled. -Oh, Nathan, I'm so sorry 133 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:26,050 -to hear that. -And it's probably just like slang... 134 00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:27,646 That is, what a... 135 00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:29,288 -It is awful, isn't it? -What a... 136 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:31,192 -What a... -I thought maybe I was overreacting. 137 00:06:31,257 --> 00:06:34,227 No. You are not overreacting at all. That sounds pretty damning to me. 138 00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:37,234 What I can see, though, is a person who is incredibly anxious. 139 00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:38,967 If you are feeling like this, 140 00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:42,002 then it's a good chance that there is a manipulation going on, 141 00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,672 an emotional manipulation. 142 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,537 -Do you think she wanted me to see that message? -Well... 143 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:48,507 On some level, possibly, yeah. 144 00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:51,105 But you met... You met her. She is very sweet. 145 00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:52,847 I don't know her from a hole in the road, 146 00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:56,446 but she struck me, I have to be honest, as a little manipulative, 147 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:58,650 a little scheming, a little controlling. 148 00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:02,055 And, I think, the time has come maybe, to try... 149 00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:03,919 to try, 150 00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:07,134 life apart from this woman. 151 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:10,160 You cry, if you wanna cry, you cry. 152 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,703 -I've been such a fool. -I know, you have. 153 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,270 -Why would she do this? -Because she's so young. 154 00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:19,137 -She's so young. -My God, she's young. 155 00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:22,405 -She is so young. -Disgustingly, wrongly young. 156 00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:24,239 -What shall I do? -You have to end it. 157 00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:26,254 -I can't. I can't. -I know. 158 00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:29,022 -Just write a text. You don't even have to say it. -I can't write a text. 159 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:32,689 Let me help you to be free of it. 160 00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:33,823 -Okay. -Okay? 161 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,657 Pick up your phone. Pick up your phone. 162 00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:38,219 Okay. Go to text messages. 163 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:41,031 Click on Izzy, and this is what you are going to say. 164 00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:43,132 "It's over..." 165 00:07:44,430 --> 00:07:47,570 Do it. "It's over, I'm sorry. 166 00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:51,809 "We can't see each other again. 167 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:53,265 -"Ever." -[Crying] Oh... 168 00:07:53,339 --> 00:07:55,779 -Send it, send it, send it... -[Groaning] 169 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:58,109 -Send it, send it, send it. -[Crying] Argh! 170 00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:00,808 -It's sent, it's sent. -Good, good, good. 171 00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:01,847 It's sent. 172 00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,420 [Izzy screams] 173 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:11,022 -[Shrieks] -[Door slams] 174 00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:13,731 [Chuckles] that worked. 175 00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:15,834 [Video call ringing] 176 00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,726 -Ryan. -Hi, Richard. How you doing? 177 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,931 Yeah, great. Listen, I've just had my house valued, 178 00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:22,096 and it's worth a lot more than I thought it was originally. 179 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:25,108 -And what I love you to do is remortgage for me. -Ah, why? 180 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:28,371 Because I need to do some things with the money. 181 00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:30,238 Your wife is on the mortgage, isn't she? 182 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,153 Yeah, well we own the house together. 183 00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,052 -Um, so we are gonna need... -Yeah. 184 00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,947 ...her permission as well. 185 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:39,446 Ryan, I don't wanna tell her because it's a surprise for her birthday. 186 00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:42,487 Do you know how to do her signature? 187 00:08:43,489 --> 00:08:44,529 Yeah. 188 00:08:46,993 --> 00:08:48,293 We could do that. 189 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,230 [Pen scribbling] 190 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:57,536 Sort of like that? 191 00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:59,811 You're a fucking genius. 192 00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:02,506 Fill out the form now, fill it out, send it off. 193 00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:04,176 -Send it off. -How old are you? 194 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,905 Forty-four. How old are you? 195 00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:10,020 -Oh, I see, for the form, sorry. -Forty-four. 196 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,250 -Right. -Okay. 197 00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:13,224 So, next question, gender? 198 00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:19,733 -Income? -My income, or my wife's and my income? 199 00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:21,426 I need yours and I need hers 200 00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,134 and then I need you to add them up. 201 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,929 Her's is $90,000 a year. 202 00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:28,132 And mine is $9,000 a year. 203 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,873 -So, let me just get a calculator here. -[Exhales] 204 00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:34,409 Sorry, one second. 205 00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:35,978 Nine, 206 00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,949 -zero, zero, zero, plus... -You're gonna add those together? 207 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,352 Nine, zero, zero, zero... 208 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,424 It goes, oh sorry now I... Yeah 99, 209 00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,248 99,000. 210 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,321 -Oh, no. -What? 211 00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:52,831 It says, um... 212 00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:55,703 If you made... If you think you've made any spelling mistakes 213 00:09:55,729 --> 00:10:00,369 or you have not used block capitals. 214 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:03,003 Then you have to... Have to do this again. 215 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,410 [Video call ringing] 216 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,611 -Hello. -Hey, man. 217 00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,510 -How are you? -I'm good. How are you? 218 00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,208 One sec, just hold on a sec. 219 00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:17,649 Ready for this? 220 00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:20,891 [Piano playing] 221 00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:23,291 Oh, my god! 222 00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:26,263 You are... No way. 223 00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:28,903 Dude, oh, my god. 224 00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:31,159 [Both laughing] 225 00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,834 [Clapping] Are you for real? 226 00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,970 Yo, that was tight! 227 00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:37,142 -Oh, my God. -How good was that? 228 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:38,540 How long that take you learn? 229 00:10:38,572 --> 00:10:40,172 I knew you'd be the only person to appreciate that. 230 00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:42,213 Yeah, I appreciate that to fuck! 231 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,408 -Oh my god. [Laughing] -I have got a lot of grief of my family for play that 232 00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:45,714 -so much. -No way. Oh, my god. 233 00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:47,549 Your family need to get with it, bro. 234 00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,184 -That was great. -Thank you. 235 00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:52,689 -[Laughing] -Um, so tell me you know, how are things? 236 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:54,656 Yeah, man, things are good, you know. 237 00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:56,118 I've been thinking, 238 00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:58,732 maybe it's a good idea if I find my dad. 239 00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:02,733 -That's very interesting. -I just think if I find him... 240 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:05,129 -Mmm-hmm. -If I, I mean if I go and I say, 241 00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:06,531 -"Look, here I am." -Mmm-hmm. 242 00:11:06,567 --> 00:11:08,967 "I'm your son." What I hope is that 243 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,342 he'll be as excited as I am. 244 00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,735 But even if he's not, 245 00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:16,177 at least I'll know. Do you know what I mean? 246 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:18,809 I think it's a very exciting prospect 247 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:20,212 -You're excited by it? -Sure. 248 00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:22,076 I'm excited for you and the prospect of you 249 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,792 finding your father, but do you know even where to begin, to look? 250 00:11:26,452 --> 00:11:28,092 Yeah. I know where he is. 251 00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:29,619 Wow. 252 00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:32,390 Listen, dude, like, thank you. 253 00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:34,028 -You're welcome. -Without you, 254 00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:35,704 none of this would be happening, okay? 255 00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:37,529 All right, well, listen, good luck. 256 00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:38,734 Thank you, man. 257 00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,502 I love, can I just say that, I love the shirts. 258 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:42,367 Oh, dude. Thank you very much. 259 00:11:42,468 --> 00:11:44,368 I thought you were, uh, 260 00:11:44,470 --> 00:11:46,970 sorry, it was stupid. I thought you were gonna say I love you. [Chuckles] 261 00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:48,607 [Chuckles nervously] 262 00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:51,909 But not in a weird way, just kind of like, in a 263 00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:53,348 family kind of way, you know? 264 00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,885 Oh, right, I'm fine. 265 00:12:00,987 --> 00:12:02,787 I was actually, um... 266 00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:04,856 I was actually thinking of joining the Army. 267 00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:06,191 -Good idea. -Yeah. 268 00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,259 Grandpa Jeremy did it, I did it. 269 00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:10,498 -That's what I thought. I thought that maybe... -Family tradition. 270 00:12:10,531 --> 00:12:12,371 Yeah. Give me some advice or... 271 00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,765 If you think you're gonna joining the Army, you gotta tidy this room up. 272 00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:16,301 Yeah, yeah. 273 00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:19,569 This would not pass inspection, let me tell you now. 274 00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:21,936 Smells a bit spunky too, got to say. 275 00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:24,138 Mmm-hmm, yeah. 276 00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:26,551 Did you, like... 277 00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:29,283 What kind of experience did you have in the Army? 278 00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:32,022 And what was like the scariest thing that you ever saw? 279 00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:36,662 -I saw a dog shit up a wall once, which was very unusual. -You saw what? 280 00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:40,830 An explosion went off, a roadside explosion and a dog just shat... 281 00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:43,834 -[Chuckles] That's... -Up a wall... 282 00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,867 -Unusual? -That can't be the scariest thing. 283 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,373 -Like that... -Just... 284 00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:51,371 Two days ago, I lost a buddy. 285 00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:55,183 An explosion happened and... 286 00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:56,608 He bled out in front of me. 287 00:12:58,144 --> 00:12:59,614 I mean, I tried to stuff what was there 288 00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:01,616 -into the wound, but... -Yeah. 289 00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,578 It wasn't stopping for anything. 290 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:07,290 [Inhales] And he cried like a baby, I slapped him. 291 00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,821 And... 292 00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:12,490 "Pull yourself together," but he couldn't because he... 293 00:13:12,526 --> 00:13:14,556 He was almost in two separate parts. 294 00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:16,932 Yeah. 295 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:19,533 [Video call ringing] 296 00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:21,703 -Richard. -Ya, Hello, Neil. Hi, hi... 297 00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:23,338 -Did a bit of thinking. -Oh, yeah? 298 00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:25,169 Yeah, I think I've realised 299 00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:27,411 what the real issue is here. 300 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:30,543 -Okay. -And that is that I've told you 301 00:13:30,611 --> 00:13:32,311 about what I did. 302 00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:36,218 Oh... You don't need to worry, cause this is, these are confidential. 303 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:40,419 That just might be, but that information still exists in your head. 304 00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:43,593 -That's where it's... -It's just that you can see my problem, can't you? 305 00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:46,727 -Well... -I've got to get that out of your head. 306 00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:50,057 I mean there's only one way I can think of to do that. 307 00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,970 -It's gone. -It's not. 308 00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:53,425 -What's not? -It's still in there. 309 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:56,099 It's not... Look you told me, yes, you told me. 310 00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:58,769 And, yes, I know and I will never reveal it. 311 00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:00,542 That's the first thing you need to remember. 312 00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,837 I'm just sorry. 313 00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:05,553 -That's understandable. -Sorry for your kids, really. 314 00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:07,312 -No, Neil... -I'm sorry, mate. 315 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,180 Neil, you don't need to feel that way. 316 00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:11,649 What you've done is you opened up and now you feeling vulnerable. 317 00:14:11,752 --> 00:14:13,752 -Do you know what? -I know, I know. Look, I can see 318 00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:14,920 this is difficult for you. 319 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,891 It's difficult for all of us, Neil. 320 00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:19,060 Shit happens, don't it? 321 00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:20,462 -So... -No, no, wait, wait... 322 00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:22,933 No wait, wait, wait, Neil. No, wait, please... 323 00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:24,503 -See you later. -Neil, no, wait... 324 00:14:25,932 --> 00:14:27,132 Neil! 325 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,595 Neil! 326 00:14:30,571 --> 00:14:32,141 -Pete, I need a gun. -What? 327 00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:33,772 -I need a gun. -Why? 328 00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:35,777 I'm worried, he is gonna find me and come and get me. 329 00:14:35,809 --> 00:14:37,109 -Neil? -Yes. 330 00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:39,407 -Shh... -We need to get onto... 331 00:14:40,581 --> 00:14:42,881 -The dark web. -What's the dark web? 332 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,383 Shh... 333 00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:46,050 You don't talk about... [Softly] The dark web. 334 00:14:46,152 --> 00:14:47,492 You're talking about it now. 335 00:14:47,588 --> 00:14:50,458 We have to think about ways of getting to the... 336 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,460 We have to start off with innocent things. 337 00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:55,302 Get on the web looking for staplers or cushions or something. 338 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,258 If you go on there looking for those things, 339 00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,970 you can find certain codes that lead you through pages 340 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,766 -and that will get you onto the other side. -What are you talking about? 341 00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:05,269 Think about something like, I don't know... 342 00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,468 Antique cups, jubilee mugs. 343 00:15:07,541 --> 00:15:10,111 I don't know something that you want look for on the... 344 00:15:10,844 --> 00:15:12,184 All right, jubilee mugs. 345 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,982 Antique jubilee mugs from 1977. 346 00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:16,448 [Tapping keys] 347 00:15:16,550 --> 00:15:19,290 -Bring up images. -[Typing] Yes. 348 00:15:19,385 --> 00:15:22,315 Is there one with the Queen upside down? 349 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,064 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah! 350 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,762 Right, okay, click on that image. 351 00:15:27,861 --> 00:15:29,301 -Right. -Careful. 352 00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:31,929 -It says good condition, $4.99. -Okay, what else? 353 00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:34,125 The seller's got a 96% rating. 354 00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:35,797 -Double click on that. -[Mouse clicks] 355 00:15:35,902 --> 00:15:37,472 They are in Orpington. 356 00:15:37,538 --> 00:15:39,368 -We're getting there. -Where are we getting? 357 00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:43,382 -It's a gateway, like Bishop's Stortford, they're gateways. -What, to Kent? 358 00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:46,809 To the dark web. Will you please stop making me say it all the time? 359 00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:50,583 -Is the town name in highlights? -Yeah. 360 00:15:50,651 --> 00:15:52,451 -Click on it. -[Mouse clicks] 361 00:15:52,553 --> 00:15:55,293 -What comes up? -The Wikipedia page for Orpington. 362 00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:57,088 -Go to maps. -Yes. 363 00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:58,533 Find a war memorial. 364 00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:03,225 We're looking for something like Terry Godington or... 365 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,326 -Louie Cypher. -[Bangs table] 366 00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:08,403 You don't know what you are doing, do you? 367 00:16:08,502 --> 00:16:11,172 Just find a name that looks religiously suspicious. 368 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,971 -Okay, I found a name. -What does it say? 369 00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:15,206 -Arthur Bishop. -Might work. 370 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,778 -Right. -Anything? 371 00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:21,481 -He's from Orpington. -Oh, my God, really? 372 00:16:21,582 --> 00:16:24,592 -Okay, send me the link. -[Typing] 373 00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:28,623 This is dangerous stuff, Richard. 374 00:16:28,689 --> 00:16:30,919 What, we might end up with a mug we don't want. 375 00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:32,664 -[Video call ringing] -Fucking hell. Fucking hell! 376 00:16:32,693 --> 00:16:35,263 -Oh, Hello. -Richard, I need you to help me. 377 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,898 -Fiona. -I feel very, very, very anxious. 378 00:16:36,930 --> 00:16:40,270 -Right. -You may have seen we had a bit of a press debacle. 379 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,543 I am very squeezed in, Richard. 380 00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:43,568 -I got to manage the PR on this. -Yeah. 381 00:16:43,604 --> 00:16:46,144 And Nigel is drinking all the time, he's drunk and I'm having to drag him up. 382 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:47,972 And that's why we're doing the photo session again, Richard 383 00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:49,738 -because he couldn't stand up properly. -Yeah. 384 00:16:49,810 --> 00:16:51,310 -Robin's gone to Kuta Beach! -Kuta beach? 385 00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:53,377 -Kuta beach in Bali. -Nigel's lover? 386 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:54,853 -Right. -Spending all of our money. 387 00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:56,251 -Oh, your money? -Sitting in little beach bars, 388 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:58,049 probably sucking of all kinds of natives. 389 00:16:58,151 --> 00:17:00,351 -What I wanna say is... -This is the moment when you give me the help, 390 00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,690 the advice, the what I am fucking paying you for. 391 00:17:02,723 --> 00:17:04,633 This is it, Pitt! 392 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,431 I understand that you're angry. 393 00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:08,532 I understand that you're going through a very difficult time 394 00:17:08,562 --> 00:17:11,932 And it's absolutely valid that you're feeling the way you are feeling. 395 00:17:11,965 --> 00:17:15,465 Yes, well that's all well and good is it? But what are you going to do about it? 396 00:17:15,536 --> 00:17:17,666 It's okay to be vulnerable, Fiona. 397 00:17:17,738 --> 00:17:19,468 No feeling lasts forever. 398 00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:22,010 And it's human to feel vulnerable, 399 00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:24,042 -It's human to feel weak. -Yes. 400 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,814 It's human to feel out of control. 401 00:17:26,847 --> 00:17:28,147 It's okay. 402 00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,154 -Gonna... Gonna face the Press. -Yeah. 403 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,146 -I'm gonna say you... -Yeah. 404 00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:33,388 -...see me... -Yeah. 405 00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:35,523 -Fiona fucking Bellingham. -Yeah. 406 00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:38,022 -I'm gonna to Nigel, "Fuck off." -Right. 407 00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:41,731 I'm gonna come out, I'm gonna say, "Do you want a piece of me? 408 00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:43,728 "You peasants!" 409 00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:45,930 -Yeah. -You're a fucking genius, Richard. 410 00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:49,102 I have to admit, I had my doubts when I first saw you in your shitty little house. 411 00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:52,969 But you've resurrected a supreme Fiona Bellingham from the ashes. 412 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:54,413 I am your phoenix, Richard. 413 00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:56,138 Well done, you have done very well. 414 00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:57,939 That's very kind of you. I don't wanna talk about me, though. 415 00:17:58,011 --> 00:18:00,381 What I would like to talk about, money for the sessions. 416 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:04,423 Still doesn't seem to have arrived in my bank account. 417 00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:06,250 -Fucking Robin. -Robin's taken... 418 00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:08,122 And he is spending it like nobody's business but... 419 00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:10,421 Do you know what? There is something more important than money, Richard, 420 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,060 -and that's honour. -Yeah. 421 00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:14,932 And I think we can join hands, can we not, across the divide 422 00:18:15,028 --> 00:18:16,958 and say we stand shoulder to shoulder, 423 00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:20,333 that you've helped someone far superior to you in every way, 424 00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:21,536 and it just goes to show you 425 00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:23,368 that people like you can do it. 426 00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:32,213 -Richard. -Yes. 427 00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:35,452 Richard, I don't know if genius is too strong a word, but I'm gonna use it. 428 00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:39,489 -You are a genius. -So everything's worked out, for the best? 429 00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:41,516 Better than I could've ever dreamed of. 430 00:18:41,622 --> 00:18:43,492 And the more I think back on all our talks, 431 00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:46,030 you've masterminded the whole thing from day one. 432 00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:50,062 I mean you obviously understood that Izzy would come by to collect stuff, 433 00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:53,570 and I would end up talking to her about my emotional debt 434 00:18:53,667 --> 00:18:55,567 -about all these experiences. -Right. 435 00:18:55,669 --> 00:18:58,769 And as soon as I started talking to her about these things. 436 00:18:58,872 --> 00:19:00,812 It was like this veil lifted from her eyes. 437 00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:02,637 And we looked at each other and we thought, 438 00:19:02,743 --> 00:19:04,813 not only should we not be breaking up, 439 00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:06,611 we can never be apart. 440 00:19:06,647 --> 00:19:08,207 Of course, we can't. 441 00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:11,448 I feel, only now, divesting myself of this 442 00:19:11,852 --> 00:19:13,252 crap! 443 00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:16,063 -And now I am free, and I am a man. -Okay. 444 00:19:16,089 --> 00:19:19,059 I am gonna to do something now that I don't do with many 445 00:19:19,092 --> 00:19:21,162 -of my clients. -Please. 446 00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:23,931 I would like to give you, 447 00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:25,670 an old-fashioned, 448 00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:28,332 one-on-one, in person, 449 00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:30,568 therapy session. Are you up for that? 450 00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:35,343 -Absolutely. -Great. 451 00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:38,705 What I suggest, uh, is you come here tomorrow at 2:30... 452 00:19:38,779 --> 00:19:42,619 -[Laughing] -And let's talk face to face. 453 00:19:42,683 --> 00:19:45,553 -Richard I can't tell... -I want to introduce you 454 00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:48,593 to a couple of concepts. 455 00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:50,415 [Video call ringing] 456 00:19:51,692 --> 00:19:53,632 -Werner. -Hello, Richard. 457 00:19:53,694 --> 00:19:57,864 -Are you all right? -Yeah, I am, to you, a very thankful person, 458 00:19:57,931 --> 00:19:59,771 that you answer me. 459 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:02,266 -Where are you? -[Sighs] 460 00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:04,705 So I am by the police, 461 00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:06,271 in, in Zurich. 462 00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:08,169 -Why? -Gene Flicks... 463 00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:10,311 You know, the deal with his... 464 00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,206 Yeah, is gone in the trousers. 465 00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:14,312 There was a journalist. 466 00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:16,620 He make very difficult questions. 467 00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:17,880 "What is going on? 468 00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:21,624 "What makes Werner Lienhard with all this money?" 469 00:20:21,655 --> 00:20:24,115 -Can I please tell you? -Oh... 470 00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:27,694 -Werner, is this the time for... -Maybe for me very important. 471 00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:30,464 All this time I see that Karen, 472 00:20:30,531 --> 00:20:35,341 -she want only to make fun with my genital... -Yeah... 473 00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,571 -Is not true. Is not true. -There's been a lot of that. 474 00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:40,574 -She doesn't wanna have fun with your genitals. -No, she is... 475 00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:43,807 The most fantastish dame. 476 00:20:43,844 --> 00:20:46,384 And you are very lucky man. 477 00:20:46,947 --> 00:20:48,077 Are you okay? 478 00:20:48,181 --> 00:20:51,181 Well I've watched many prison movies. 479 00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:54,391 For example, you know Shawshake Redemptions, 480 00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:57,894 and so I don't, I don't have a shower. 481 00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,294 The sisters... 482 00:20:59,325 --> 00:21:02,325 They are one after another upside your asshole. 483 00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:04,528 -All right, I'll... -I love you? 484 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,340 -Richard. Richard. -Abs. 485 00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:11,169 -Where are you? -[Gasping] I'm in a hospital. 486 00:21:11,204 --> 00:21:12,974 -What? Are you all right? -Karen's collapsed. 487 00:21:13,006 --> 00:21:16,136 -What? -It's okay, it's okay, it's fine. It's fine, it's okay. 488 00:21:16,176 --> 00:21:18,336 -It's just nervous exhaustion. -Where is she? 489 00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:19,811 She is just here, look. 490 00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:22,246 -Put her on. -No, she can't. She's passed out. 491 00:21:22,348 --> 00:21:24,648 Look, she's fine. Look, I just need to talk to you for a minute. 492 00:21:24,685 --> 00:21:26,385 What do you... What do you mean she's passed out? 493 00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:28,592 Richard, please just focus on me for a minute. 494 00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:30,615 No, I will not focus on you, Abs. 495 00:21:30,691 --> 00:21:33,091 -[Crying] I don't know who I am. -Abs. 496 00:21:33,193 --> 00:21:36,063 Pass me to a doctor. 497 00:21:36,096 --> 00:21:37,556 Where are you, Abs? 498 00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:39,974 Freezenburg Municipal Hospital in Zurich. 499 00:21:40,066 --> 00:21:42,896 -Freezenburg... -Please, I just need some advice. 500 00:21:42,936 --> 00:21:45,166 -Please. I can't deal all this. -Abs, Abs, Abs listen to me. 501 00:21:45,205 --> 00:21:47,765 -You have to, you have to look after my wife... -[Crying] I can't, I can't... 502 00:21:47,874 --> 00:21:49,144 [Call drops] 503 00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:52,376 [Video call ringing] 504 00:21:52,412 --> 00:21:54,182 Hello, listen, I am in big trouble. 505 00:21:54,214 --> 00:21:55,684 I've come to the end of my lollipop, Richard 506 00:21:55,782 --> 00:21:58,452 -What? -Yes, I'm done with analysis therapy... 507 00:21:58,484 --> 00:22:00,494 -No... -Psychodynamics, everything. 508 00:22:00,587 --> 00:22:03,887 -No you're not. -I am done because I don't really believe... 509 00:22:05,859 --> 00:22:07,489 Any of this does any good. 510 00:22:07,528 --> 00:22:09,158 I'm here to tell you that is not true, 511 00:22:09,262 --> 00:22:11,302 because you have achieved an enormous amount with me. 512 00:22:11,331 --> 00:22:15,541 I have a much better relationship with my anus and with every anus out there. 513 00:22:15,602 --> 00:22:17,342 I want you to be... 514 00:22:17,370 --> 00:22:20,070 -released. -I reject the release. I reject it. 515 00:22:20,140 --> 00:22:22,340 I'm not having it. 516 00:22:22,375 --> 00:22:25,405 The thing is, I haven't been strictly honest with you. 517 00:22:25,445 --> 00:22:28,405 I have a serious problem. A man... 518 00:22:28,481 --> 00:22:32,251 A violent man, who I owe a huge amount of money to... 519 00:22:32,285 --> 00:22:35,455 I've lied to my wife, I've lied to you, I've lied to my family, I've lied to... 520 00:22:35,522 --> 00:22:37,892 -Shall I be more honest with you? -Yes. 521 00:22:37,991 --> 00:22:40,191 You bore the shit out of me. 522 00:22:40,260 --> 00:22:43,230 -What? -You bore me shitless. 523 00:22:43,296 --> 00:22:47,526 You wallow in an oceanic shitfest of failure. 524 00:22:47,634 --> 00:22:49,774 -So? -That's your default mode, 525 00:22:49,803 --> 00:22:53,543 to be the victim, floating around in an ocean of your own shit. 526 00:22:53,574 --> 00:22:56,644 I don't need the shit. I want the shit, 527 00:22:56,743 --> 00:22:58,813 because I thought you wanted my shit. 528 00:22:58,845 --> 00:23:02,345 You liked the shit and you listened to my shit. 529 00:23:02,415 --> 00:23:04,585 I am signing off, Richard, 530 00:23:04,651 --> 00:23:06,821 with a quote, as is my wont. 531 00:23:08,454 --> 00:23:09,464 You 532 00:23:10,791 --> 00:23:12,061 are the horror. 533 00:23:13,126 --> 00:23:14,756 The horror! 534 00:23:15,762 --> 00:23:17,302 The horror! 535 00:23:17,352 --> 00:23:21,902 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 42118

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