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1
00:00:24,745 --> 00:00:26,003
- Two kedgerees, yes.
2
00:00:26,003 --> 00:00:27,303
Two kippers.
3
00:00:27,303 --> 00:00:29,189
One pancake, yeah.
4
00:00:29,189 --> 00:00:30,127
Okay, how long on the bacon?
5
00:00:30,127 --> 00:00:31,134
How long on the bacon?
6
00:00:31,134 --> 00:00:32,382
- It's coming.
7
00:00:32,382 --> 00:00:33,770
- Let's go.
8
00:00:33,770 --> 00:00:34,931
Plate it!
9
00:00:34,931 --> 00:00:36,196
Where are my pancakes?
10
00:00:36,196 --> 00:00:38,696
Where are my pancakes?
11
00:00:38,696 --> 00:00:41,061
Pancakes, I don't know.
12
00:00:41,061 --> 00:00:42,972
- Black pudding.
- That's hot!
13
00:00:42,972 --> 00:00:43,846
- Come on, Cole.
14
00:00:43,846 --> 00:00:45,346
Oh, what was that?
15
00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:47,863
Pick yourself up!
16
00:00:48,733 --> 00:00:50,553
- Come on, why are you being such a dick?
17
00:00:50,553 --> 00:00:52,434
Just make me some coffee, you idiot.
18
00:00:52,434 --> 00:00:54,558
- Everything okay?
19
00:00:54,558 --> 00:00:55,418
- Look at this,
20
00:00:55,418 --> 00:00:56,251
one of the most technologically
21
00:00:56,251 --> 00:00:58,252
advanced pieces of machinery known to man,
22
00:00:58,252 --> 00:01:00,461
they expect you to operate
it before you've had coffee!
23
00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:01,294
- Oh, that's right,
24
00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:03,582
Bib used to make your
coffee for you, didn't he?
25
00:01:03,582 --> 00:01:06,654
Want me to see if he can
pop round and do you a cup?
26
00:01:06,654 --> 00:01:08,388
He probably hasn't gone
to start his brilliant
27
00:01:08,388 --> 00:01:10,490
new life in Australia quite yet.
28
00:01:10,490 --> 00:01:13,240
Ah!
29
00:01:15,263 --> 00:01:17,382
- What are you doing?
30
00:01:17,382 --> 00:01:19,654
It's 20 past eight in the morning.
31
00:01:19,654 --> 00:01:20,779
- Yeah, and I've been up since five,
32
00:01:20,779 --> 00:01:22,644
cooking sausages for idiots,
so if you don't mind,
33
00:01:22,644 --> 00:01:24,243
I'm going to have a little drinky.
34
00:01:24,243 --> 00:01:26,740
- You need to get it together.
35
00:01:26,740 --> 00:01:29,053
- Morning, morning, Mummy's here.
36
00:01:29,053 --> 00:01:30,636
Caroline, I just...
37
00:01:32,290 --> 00:01:35,790
Caroline, are you drinking in the kitchen?
38
00:01:36,798 --> 00:01:37,631
- Um,
39
00:01:39,686 --> 00:01:40,519
yeah,
40
00:01:42,272 --> 00:01:44,605
just a little heart-starter.
41
00:01:48,832 --> 00:01:50,582
- Well, if you are...
42
00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:53,684
Ooh! Ha!
43
00:01:54,745 --> 00:01:57,242
That'll knock the cockles off.
44
00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:59,159
Walk with me, Caroline.
45
00:02:04,256 --> 00:02:05,485
You looking forward to tonight?
46
00:02:05,485 --> 00:02:06,318
- The party?
47
00:02:06,318 --> 00:02:07,590
Yes, I'll be there.
48
00:02:07,590 --> 00:02:09,164
Robin's coming down too.
49
00:02:09,164 --> 00:02:10,418
So it'll be lovely for us to spend
50
00:02:10,418 --> 00:02:11,720
a proper evening together.
51
00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:13,086
- Closey eyesies.
52
00:02:13,086 --> 00:02:13,919
- What?
53
00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:15,419
- Close your eyes.
54
00:02:20,629 --> 00:02:21,462
Open!
55
00:02:25,161 --> 00:02:26,796
- Can I close them again please?
56
00:02:26,796 --> 00:02:27,629
- Ta-dah!
57
00:02:27,629 --> 00:02:28,462
What do you think?
58
00:02:28,462 --> 00:02:30,451
It's my little surprise for tonight.
59
00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:31,562
- Little?
60
00:02:31,562 --> 00:02:32,740
- It's an elephant pinata.
61
00:02:32,740 --> 00:02:34,079
You bash it with a stick
62
00:02:34,079 --> 00:02:35,996
until sweets come out of its neck.
63
00:02:35,996 --> 00:02:38,287
- Yes, I'm familiar with pinatas.
64
00:02:38,287 --> 00:02:39,760
- But I want it to be a surprise,
65
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,677
so do you think you could sneak it in
66
00:02:41,677 --> 00:02:44,404
and hide it before the
rest of the staff arrive?
67
00:02:44,404 --> 00:02:45,632
- Yes, hide it.
68
00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:47,632
Hide the giant elephant.
69
00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:49,626
- Good girl.
70
00:02:56,984 --> 00:02:58,329
- Oh, all right?
71
00:02:58,329 --> 00:02:59,162
- Hiya.
72
00:03:00,672 --> 00:03:01,935
- What are you doing?
73
00:03:01,935 --> 00:03:06,102
- Just getting Officer
Trumpton ready for tonight.
74
00:03:09,081 --> 00:03:09,940
- What's that?
75
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:12,128
- The spit valve.
76
00:03:12,128 --> 00:03:13,329
- Is that all your spit?
77
00:03:13,329 --> 00:03:14,509
- Yeah.
78
00:03:14,509 --> 00:03:16,269
That's just from practicing.
79
00:03:17,102 --> 00:03:18,269
- That's cool.
80
00:03:23,134 --> 00:03:25,329
- Oh, all right, Kiki?
81
00:03:25,329 --> 00:03:26,484
That for the talent show?
82
00:03:26,484 --> 00:03:27,356
- Yeah.
83
00:03:27,356 --> 00:03:28,492
- Nice one.
84
00:03:28,492 --> 00:03:30,645
I'm doing a song.
85
00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:32,562
What about you, Skoose?
86
00:03:33,508 --> 00:03:37,573
- I'd rather slam my cock in a car door.
87
00:03:37,573 --> 00:03:41,573
- Right, well, I'll see
you back up there, Kiki.
88
00:03:46,711 --> 00:03:49,969
- Are you really not
doing anything tonight?
89
00:03:49,969 --> 00:03:50,974
- Can I have a go?
90
00:03:50,974 --> 00:03:51,807
- Yeah!
91
00:03:59,529 --> 00:04:01,051
- Hey, that was brilliant.
92
00:04:01,051 --> 00:04:04,646
Most people can't even do the mouth right.
93
00:04:04,646 --> 00:04:05,896
- There you go.
94
00:04:07,210 --> 00:04:08,870
Got some of my spit in there now.
95
00:04:08,870 --> 00:04:09,891
- Ugh.
96
00:04:09,891 --> 00:04:12,001
All mixed together with mine.
97
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:12,834
- Yeah.
98
00:04:23,905 --> 00:04:24,738
- Ah,
99
00:04:25,742 --> 00:04:27,075
CVs are so dull.
100
00:04:30,405 --> 00:04:35,294
Just a big, long list of
milestones and achievements.
101
00:04:35,294 --> 00:04:37,180
You see, just by you handing me this
102
00:04:37,180 --> 00:04:42,100
and nothing else, you do come
across as a bit of a bighead.
103
00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:43,619
Just give me the headlines.
104
00:04:43,619 --> 00:04:46,750
Everything I need to know
about you in five words.
105
00:04:46,750 --> 00:04:48,608
- Uh, Barnaby Thompson.
106
00:04:48,608 --> 00:04:49,604
- Interesting.
107
00:04:49,604 --> 00:04:51,935
You use your own name
for your first two words.
108
00:04:51,935 --> 00:04:56,169
Maybe the next three
should be is arrogant man.
109
00:04:56,169 --> 00:04:58,084
- Can I take the first
two back please, chef?
110
00:04:58,084 --> 00:04:59,258
- Go for it.
111
00:04:59,258 --> 00:05:00,425
- Uh, devoted,
112
00:05:02,448 --> 00:05:03,913
passionate,
113
00:05:03,913 --> 00:05:06,245
hard-working, with a hyphen.
114
00:05:06,245 --> 00:05:07,245
- Excellent.
115
00:05:09,595 --> 00:05:10,595
- Learnable?
116
00:05:11,682 --> 00:05:14,492
- Hmm, I'm not sure that's a word,
117
00:05:14,492 --> 00:05:15,560
I can see what you're trying to do.
118
00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:18,029
Trying to say is capable of learning but
119
00:05:18,029 --> 00:05:20,212
without using up four of your words.
120
00:05:20,212 --> 00:05:21,326
- Right.
121
00:05:21,326 --> 00:05:22,858
Uh,
122
00:05:22,858 --> 00:05:23,691
talented.
123
00:05:24,626 --> 00:05:26,982
- You know what, Barnaby?
124
00:05:26,982 --> 00:05:28,429
You could very well be using those
125
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:29,928
exact same words to describe
126
00:05:29,928 --> 00:05:32,095
someone else in this room.
127
00:05:35,493 --> 00:05:37,917
Let's spin this thing around.
128
00:05:37,917 --> 00:05:40,068
Is there anything you want to ask me?
129
00:05:40,068 --> 00:05:40,901
- Just...
130
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:46,245
what is it you're looking
for in a sous chef?
131
00:05:46,245 --> 00:05:48,307
- What is it I'm looking
132
00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:49,890
for in a sous chef?
133
00:05:53,227 --> 00:05:54,644
Hold that thought, Barnaby.
134
00:05:54,644 --> 00:05:56,657
I'll be with you in a couple of minutes.
135
00:05:58,517 --> 00:05:59,971
- Yeah?
136
00:05:59,971 --> 00:06:00,999
That's fantastic.
137
00:06:00,999 --> 00:06:02,170
No, they sound great.
138
00:06:02,170 --> 00:06:04,468
Just send them over whenever you're ready.
139
00:06:04,468 --> 00:06:05,301
Later.
140
00:06:07,818 --> 00:06:09,306
You all right?
141
00:06:09,306 --> 00:06:10,453
- Yeah, I'm good.
142
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:11,286
How are you?
143
00:06:11,286 --> 00:06:12,119
- Yeah, great.
144
00:06:12,119 --> 00:06:12,952
Really good, yeah.
145
00:06:12,952 --> 00:06:15,643
Yeah, just come down for some...
146
00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:16,726
table cloths.
147
00:06:18,727 --> 00:06:19,996
- Right.
148
00:06:19,996 --> 00:06:23,020
- That was Kelly from HR, Human Resources,
149
00:06:23,020 --> 00:06:24,610
just chatting about all
150
00:06:24,610 --> 00:06:27,607
the applicants we're
getting for sous chef.
151
00:06:27,607 --> 00:06:29,737
'Cause I've got to interview them all.
152
00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:30,999
- I'm amazed you can get reception all
153
00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:32,672
the way down here.
154
00:06:32,672 --> 00:06:34,371
Underground.
155
00:06:34,371 --> 00:06:35,247
Nobody else can.
156
00:06:35,247 --> 00:06:37,800
What network are you with?
157
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,598
- It's an Indian one.
158
00:06:39,598 --> 00:06:41,501
You do it online.
159
00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:42,334
Phone-Tel.
160
00:06:43,263 --> 00:06:44,263
They're new.
161
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:48,325
What you doing here?
162
00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:50,199
- Picking up my whites.
163
00:06:50,199 --> 00:06:55,093
- Right, 'cause technically
they belong to the hotel.
164
00:06:55,093 --> 00:06:56,566
Don't worry, though, I won't tell.
165
00:06:56,566 --> 00:06:57,483
Won't tell.
166
00:06:58,550 --> 00:07:00,321
No good to me anyway.
167
00:07:00,321 --> 00:07:02,551
I'm not gonna find another
chef your size am I?
168
00:07:02,551 --> 00:07:03,801
Ya big galumph.
169
00:07:04,950 --> 00:07:07,033
- No, I expect you won't.
170
00:07:10,716 --> 00:07:12,012
See you later, Roland.
171
00:07:12,012 --> 00:07:13,345
- Don't go, Bib.
172
00:07:14,925 --> 00:07:15,758
- Pardon?
173
00:07:18,583 --> 00:07:20,583
- I didn't say anything.
174
00:07:21,686 --> 00:07:23,084
- Okay.
175
00:07:23,084 --> 00:07:24,066
- Come on, Bib.
176
00:07:24,066 --> 00:07:24,969
This is crazy.
177
00:07:24,969 --> 00:07:25,802
You can't go now.
178
00:07:25,802 --> 00:07:28,041
We're this close to a Michelin star!
179
00:07:28,041 --> 00:07:30,061
- No, we're not, Roland.
180
00:07:30,061 --> 00:07:31,306
There are stars in the sky
181
00:07:31,306 --> 00:07:33,368
closer to us than a Michelin star.
182
00:07:33,368 --> 00:07:34,236
- That's not true.
183
00:07:34,236 --> 00:07:35,933
- Yeah, it is.
184
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,349
You don't even want one.
185
00:07:37,349 --> 00:07:38,529
- I do!
186
00:07:38,529 --> 00:07:39,800
If you do.
187
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,671
- What happened to you, hey?
188
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:45,352
You used to have passion,
you'd get so excited.
189
00:07:45,352 --> 00:07:48,391
You'd be in that kitchen
every minute of every day.
190
00:07:48,391 --> 00:07:50,036
- Well you used to have a life, Bib.
191
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:52,914
And I used to have a wife, and a house.
192
00:07:52,914 --> 00:07:54,588
I was young.
193
00:07:54,588 --> 00:07:55,629
Now look at me.
194
00:07:55,629 --> 00:07:56,962
What do you see?
195
00:07:59,454 --> 00:08:02,454
- A much older man with lady's hair.
196
00:08:03,436 --> 00:08:06,187
- It's this job, it's
taken everything from me.
197
00:08:06,187 --> 00:08:07,600
It's given me nothing back.
198
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:11,496
- This job hasn't taken
anything from you, Roland.
199
00:08:11,496 --> 00:08:14,419
Rebecca left you because
you took her for granted.
200
00:08:14,419 --> 00:08:16,053
- She didn't leave me because
I took her for granted.
201
00:08:16,053 --> 00:08:18,848
She left me because I
knobbed a pastry chef.
202
00:08:18,848 --> 00:08:20,565
- Two pastry chefs.
203
00:08:20,565 --> 00:08:21,878
- Audrey wasn't a pastry chef.
204
00:08:21,878 --> 00:08:23,961
She was still at college.
205
00:08:27,512 --> 00:08:29,412
- Goodbye, Roland.
206
00:08:29,412 --> 00:08:30,506
- What about tonight?
207
00:08:30,506 --> 00:08:31,339
What about tonight?
208
00:08:31,339 --> 00:08:32,172
- The party.
209
00:08:32,172 --> 00:08:33,183
I can't do the act on my own.
210
00:08:33,183 --> 00:08:35,223
- Why? Why not?
211
00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:37,429
Means you get all the glory.
212
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:40,762
Which is just how you like it, isn't it?
213
00:08:43,124 --> 00:08:44,642
- Go on, then!
214
00:08:44,642 --> 00:08:46,140
Go, go to Australia!
215
00:08:46,140 --> 00:08:48,140
Go to Wonga Donga Beach.
216
00:08:49,689 --> 00:08:52,356
I hope you get caught in a rip!
217
00:09:18,126 --> 00:09:20,126
Should I go?
218
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:44,014
Hello!
219
00:09:55,149 --> 00:09:57,302
- Caroline, there you are.
220
00:09:57,302 --> 00:09:58,135
Oh, god.
221
00:09:58,135 --> 00:10:01,468
I just wanted to see you before I leave.
222
00:10:03,534 --> 00:10:06,034
Well, I guess this is goodbye.
223
00:10:10,064 --> 00:10:12,000
Oh, come here.
224
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:12,833
- Oh.
225
00:10:14,963 --> 00:10:17,713
- I am gonna miss this old place.
226
00:10:19,093 --> 00:10:20,409
Well, stop it.
227
00:10:20,409 --> 00:10:23,077
You're gonna start me off in a minute.
228
00:10:23,077 --> 00:10:25,367
Thank you, Caroline.
229
00:10:25,367 --> 00:10:26,784
I shall miss you.
230
00:10:28,435 --> 00:10:29,268
Goodbye.
231
00:10:31,776 --> 00:10:32,609
- Bye.
232
00:10:53,694 --> 00:10:56,489
- Weird seeing you in your civvies.
233
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,440
It's like when you're young and you
234
00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:00,192
see one of your teachers in the pub.
235
00:11:00,192 --> 00:11:02,187
- I guess it's nice you
think of me as a teacher.
236
00:11:02,187 --> 00:11:04,889
- That's not what I said.
237
00:11:04,889 --> 00:11:06,361
- It's kind of strange
seeing you in a suit.
238
00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:07,877
I feel like I'm at a juvenile court.
239
00:11:07,877 --> 00:11:11,025
- My mum did actually buy me
this for a court appearance.
240
00:11:11,025 --> 00:11:13,702
- Is that true or is that a joke?
241
00:11:13,702 --> 00:11:16,953
- You'll never know, will you?
242
00:11:16,953 --> 00:11:18,385
- Good luck, Skoose.
243
00:11:18,385 --> 00:11:20,462
- You too, Bib.
244
00:11:20,462 --> 00:11:22,629
Don't bum too many blokes.
245
00:11:24,207 --> 00:11:28,374
- Yeah, I'll try and keep
the bumming to a minimum.
246
00:11:34,358 --> 00:11:36,191
- See you later, chef.
247
00:11:49,065 --> 00:11:51,086
- Oh hey, Celia.
248
00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:52,887
Just want to say thank you.
249
00:11:52,887 --> 00:11:55,438
For well, everything.
250
00:11:55,438 --> 00:11:57,618
- Ah, you're very welcome.
251
00:11:57,618 --> 00:12:00,370
Did you have a nice stay?
252
00:12:00,370 --> 00:12:03,190
- No, Celia it's, it's...
253
00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:05,116
Yes, I had a lovely time.
254
00:12:05,116 --> 00:12:05,949
Thank you.
255
00:12:05,949 --> 00:12:06,782
- Ha!
256
00:12:27,599 --> 00:12:29,241
- Bib!
257
00:12:29,241 --> 00:12:30,074
Bib!
258
00:12:50,957 --> 00:12:52,548
- Stupid.
259
00:12:52,548 --> 00:12:53,381
Stupid.
260
00:13:01,749 --> 00:13:02,999
- Pinata works.
261
00:13:08,656 --> 00:13:09,855
What, are we not talking about
262
00:13:09,855 --> 00:13:10,838
the elephant in the room?
263
00:13:10,838 --> 00:13:12,077
- Don't make jokes!
264
00:13:12,077 --> 00:13:14,198
Celia is gonna go mental
when she sees what you did.
265
00:13:14,198 --> 00:13:15,438
- It was gonna happen tonight, anyway,
266
00:13:15,438 --> 00:13:17,206
in front of a baying lunatics.
267
00:13:17,206 --> 00:13:20,539
I was just putting it out of its misery.
268
00:13:22,804 --> 00:13:24,277
- Roland, come on.
269
00:13:24,277 --> 00:13:25,160
Pull yourself together.
270
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:26,715
You're meant to be interviewing.
271
00:13:26,715 --> 00:13:28,433
I don't want another sous chef, Caroline.
272
00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:29,453
I want Bib.
273
00:13:29,453 --> 00:13:31,623
- Bib's gone, Roland, face it.
274
00:13:31,623 --> 00:13:34,474
He's not coming back and
then you need to move on.
275
00:13:34,474 --> 00:13:35,307
- Move on?
276
00:13:35,307 --> 00:13:36,362
I can't move on!
277
00:13:36,362 --> 00:13:38,012
It's too soon.
278
00:13:38,012 --> 00:13:40,285
- There's another applicant
in your office right now
279
00:13:40,285 --> 00:13:41,817
and you need to do your job.
280
00:13:41,817 --> 00:13:43,001
- You're gonna have to
get rid of them, Caroline.
281
00:13:43,001 --> 00:13:44,072
I'm not seeing anyone else today.
282
00:13:44,072 --> 00:13:44,905
I can't.
283
00:13:44,905 --> 00:13:45,904
It's way too soon.
284
00:13:45,904 --> 00:13:48,571
I'm not interested in another...
285
00:13:50,903 --> 00:13:51,736
Hello.
286
00:13:59,598 --> 00:14:02,181
Marvelous, Beatrice, marvelous.
287
00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:06,172
Well, look, it's been wonderful,
288
00:14:06,172 --> 00:14:08,143
really wonderful to meet you.
289
00:14:08,143 --> 00:14:08,976
- Thank you.
290
00:14:08,976 --> 00:14:09,976
- Thank you.
291
00:14:15,443 --> 00:14:16,360
Wowa-weewa.
292
00:14:21,933 --> 00:14:22,842
You got a funeral?
293
00:14:22,842 --> 00:14:23,960
Who died?
294
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:27,127
- Er, I'm here for my interview, chef.
295
00:14:28,460 --> 00:14:29,293
- Oh, yes.
296
00:14:31,717 --> 00:14:32,550
Look,
297
00:14:35,077 --> 00:14:38,185
I've been giving this a lot of thought.
298
00:14:38,185 --> 00:14:39,352
I really have.
299
00:14:42,023 --> 00:14:43,773
An incredible amount.
300
00:14:44,697 --> 00:14:45,864
Ooh, my knees.
301
00:14:48,959 --> 00:14:53,055
Thing is, I'm not sure you're ready yet.
302
00:14:53,055 --> 00:14:55,805
Maybe in a couple of years, yeah?
303
00:14:57,957 --> 00:14:59,548
- Yes, chef.
304
00:14:59,548 --> 00:15:00,548
- That's it.
305
00:15:01,685 --> 00:15:03,018
The Skoosinator!
306
00:15:18,527 --> 00:15:20,340
♫ She was a showgirl
307
00:15:20,340 --> 00:15:22,924
♫ With yellow feathers in her hair
308
00:15:22,924 --> 00:15:24,783
♫ And a dress cut down to there
309
00:15:24,783 --> 00:15:26,743
♫ She would merengue
310
00:15:26,743 --> 00:15:28,631
♫ And do the cha-cha
311
00:15:28,631 --> 00:15:29,529
Hi, Celia.
312
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:30,921
- Welcome to Hot Bananas.
313
00:15:30,921 --> 00:15:32,453
What's your poison?
314
00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:35,852
- Uh, I'll have an orange
juice and lemonade, please.
315
00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:37,452
- Well, you can have one, can't you?
316
00:15:37,452 --> 00:15:38,952
We're celebrating.
317
00:15:40,659 --> 00:15:41,560
- You have one, though.
318
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:44,464
Don't want to be a fun sponge.
319
00:15:44,464 --> 00:15:45,297
- No.
320
00:15:46,375 --> 00:15:47,979
I'll have a large gin
and tonic, please, Celia.
321
00:15:47,979 --> 00:15:50,196
- No dice, toots.
322
00:15:50,196 --> 00:15:51,349
- Beg your pardon?
323
00:15:51,349 --> 00:15:52,662
- We only do what's on the board.
324
00:15:52,662 --> 00:15:53,734
- Oh.
325
00:15:53,734 --> 00:15:57,309
In that case, I'll go for a Rum-Bongo.
326
00:15:57,309 --> 00:15:58,142
- Ah-ha.
327
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:03,213
- Oh, Poppet, that was the farm.
328
00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:04,861
Candida's dilated.
329
00:16:04,861 --> 00:16:05,729
- I'm sorry?
330
00:16:05,729 --> 00:16:07,202
- Candida?
331
00:16:07,202 --> 00:16:09,255
My Hampshire sow?
332
00:16:09,255 --> 00:16:10,392
She's been ready to pop for days.
333
00:16:10,392 --> 00:16:11,494
You know this.
334
00:16:11,494 --> 00:16:12,914
- Okay, so what does that mean?
335
00:16:12,914 --> 00:16:14,164
- I have to go.
336
00:16:16,070 --> 00:16:17,153
She needs me.
337
00:16:18,515 --> 00:16:19,432
- Does she?
338
00:16:20,687 --> 00:16:22,640
Look, if I can,
339
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:25,951
I'll try and come back after
I've...
340
00:16:25,951 --> 00:16:26,784
You know?
341
00:16:28,818 --> 00:16:30,235
Mwah, mwah, mwah.
342
00:16:43,013 --> 00:16:45,520
- You know what they
put in those, don't you?
343
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:46,353
Skin,
344
00:16:47,305 --> 00:16:48,669
hair,
345
00:16:48,669 --> 00:16:49,502
teats.
346
00:16:50,496 --> 00:16:54,592
Sometimes a bit of arsehole
finds its way in there.
347
00:16:54,592 --> 00:16:55,884
♫ Sometimes you're better off dead
348
00:16:55,884 --> 00:16:57,128
♫ There's a gun in your hand
349
00:16:57,128 --> 00:16:59,949
♫ It's pointing at your head
350
00:16:59,949 --> 00:17:02,626
- Nice though, ain't they?
351
00:17:02,626 --> 00:17:05,227
♫ In restaurants in a west-end town
352
00:17:05,227 --> 00:17:06,060
♫ Call the police
353
00:17:06,060 --> 00:17:07,131
♫ There's a mad man around
354
00:17:07,131 --> 00:17:09,235
♫ Running down, underground
355
00:17:09,235 --> 00:17:11,358
♫ To a dive bar
356
00:17:11,358 --> 00:17:12,467
♫ In a west-end town
357
00:17:12,467 --> 00:17:14,624
♫ A dead-end world
358
00:17:14,624 --> 00:17:18,791
♫ East-end boys and west-end girls
359
00:17:19,926 --> 00:17:21,282
♫ In a west-end town
360
00:17:21,282 --> 00:17:22,375
♫ A dead-end world
361
00:17:25,557 --> 00:17:26,390
- Party!
362
00:17:33,361 --> 00:17:34,337
- Thanks for that.
363
00:17:34,337 --> 00:17:35,587
Ruined my suit.
364
00:17:36,643 --> 00:17:38,899
- Sorry, I thought it would be funny.
365
00:17:38,899 --> 00:17:40,149
- Oh, ha-ha-ha!
366
00:17:41,391 --> 00:17:43,823
- Why are you so sad?
367
00:17:43,823 --> 00:17:44,848
- I'm not the sad one.
368
00:17:44,848 --> 00:17:46,904
Look at this tit.
369
00:17:46,904 --> 00:17:49,345
- At least he's up there doing something.
370
00:17:49,345 --> 00:17:51,111
Not just sitting there sulking,
371
00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:54,463
like a kitten stuck in a teapot.
372
00:17:54,463 --> 00:17:55,488
- I'm not sulking.
373
00:17:55,488 --> 00:17:56,623
- I'm not sulking.
374
00:17:56,623 --> 00:17:57,522
- I'm not.
- I'm not.
375
00:17:57,522 --> 00:17:58,688
- Kiki.
- Kiki.
376
00:17:58,688 --> 00:17:59,986
- Look!
377
00:17:59,986 --> 00:18:02,413
I just want to be left
alone, all right, Kiki?
378
00:18:02,413 --> 00:18:04,382
I just want to have a drink on my own.
379
00:18:04,382 --> 00:18:06,049
I'm not in the mood.
380
00:18:07,884 --> 00:18:09,997
- You're never in the mood.
381
00:18:09,997 --> 00:18:11,864
♫ West-end girls
382
00:18:16,722 --> 00:18:17,976
- Wonderful, wonderful!
383
00:18:17,976 --> 00:18:20,483
Now then, let's keep this train
384
00:18:20,483 --> 00:18:22,446
chugging along to Funland
385
00:18:22,446 --> 00:18:24,044
and welcome our next act
386
00:18:24,044 --> 00:18:26,520
to the stage, which is Kiki!
387
00:18:38,927 --> 00:18:41,594
- This is my favorite ever song.
388
00:19:10,213 --> 00:19:11,213
- Underwear.
389
00:19:12,274 --> 00:19:15,003
Oh, Caroline.
390
00:19:15,003 --> 00:19:18,503
- What's more important, a woman or a pig?
391
00:19:19,723 --> 00:19:20,556
- What?
392
00:19:21,504 --> 00:19:22,807
- Nothing.
393
00:19:22,807 --> 00:19:24,544
Just my fiance would rather go and
394
00:19:24,544 --> 00:19:26,586
shove his arm up a pig's vagina
395
00:19:26,586 --> 00:19:29,169
than spend the evening with me.
396
00:19:30,781 --> 00:19:31,614
- Right.
397
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,589
Decisions, decisions.
398
00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:37,527
Why aren't you at the party?
399
00:19:37,527 --> 00:19:39,509
- I'm getting changed for my act.
400
00:19:39,509 --> 00:19:42,733
- Thought I'd come and find you.
401
00:19:42,733 --> 00:19:43,816
Ah, Beatrice.
402
00:19:46,133 --> 00:19:48,027
She was nice, wasn't she?
403
00:19:48,027 --> 00:19:49,526
- Yeah, she was good, actually.
404
00:19:49,526 --> 00:19:51,672
Trained under Pierre at Bridge House.
405
00:19:51,672 --> 00:19:52,505
- Under?
406
00:19:53,701 --> 00:19:54,534
- Sorry?
407
00:19:57,017 --> 00:19:59,350
- She's very pretty, Roland.
408
00:20:01,940 --> 00:20:04,077
- Yeah, I need to get changed.
409
00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:06,660
So can you just close the door?
410
00:20:09,877 --> 00:20:10,710
- Sure.
411
00:20:23,967 --> 00:20:25,717
- What are you doing?
412
00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:31,105
- Nothing.
413
00:20:34,111 --> 00:20:36,028
He loves you, you know.
414
00:20:37,109 --> 00:20:37,942
- What?
415
00:20:37,942 --> 00:20:38,775
- Bib.
416
00:20:39,736 --> 00:20:41,140
He's the best thing that's
ever happened to you,
417
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:44,451
and you just took his heart and crr, phh,
418
00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:47,063
and trample, trample, trample, trample,
419
00:20:47,063 --> 00:20:48,719
trample, trample, trample, trample.
420
00:20:48,719 --> 00:20:50,646
- Yeah, yeah, all right.
421
00:20:50,646 --> 00:20:51,479
I get it.
422
00:20:53,414 --> 00:20:54,247
- Right.
423
00:20:55,082 --> 00:20:55,921
I feel sick.
424
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:58,213
So I'm going to go and deal with that
425
00:20:58,213 --> 00:21:01,380
and then I'm gonna have another drink.
426
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:15,213
- All set?
427
00:21:15,213 --> 00:21:16,849
- No, no, this is ridiculous.
428
00:21:16,849 --> 00:21:18,741
I should have just pulled out.
429
00:21:18,741 --> 00:21:19,947
- Oh, don't be silly.
430
00:21:19,947 --> 00:21:22,530
Darling, you'll be soopy-doops.
431
00:21:28,259 --> 00:21:29,509
- Shit.
432
00:21:29,509 --> 00:21:31,676
I can't do this by myself.
433
00:21:33,512 --> 00:21:35,345
Hello, Roland.
434
00:21:38,801 --> 00:21:39,634
- Bib.
435
00:21:39,634 --> 00:21:40,467
What?
436
00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:42,370
You said you weren't coming.
437
00:21:42,370 --> 00:21:43,203
- I know.
438
00:21:44,376 --> 00:21:45,429
- But...
439
00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:46,346
- Roland...
440
00:21:46,346 --> 00:21:47,429
- Look, wait.
441
00:21:48,443 --> 00:21:50,780
Don't say anything.
442
00:21:50,780 --> 00:21:52,863
You were right, Bib, okay?
443
00:21:52,863 --> 00:21:54,058
I'm a dick.
444
00:21:54,058 --> 00:21:55,531
I did take you for granted.
445
00:21:55,531 --> 00:21:56,698
And I'm sorry.
446
00:21:57,922 --> 00:22:00,725
And I want to wish you and Sarah
447
00:22:00,725 --> 00:22:02,676
good luck in Australia
448
00:22:02,676 --> 00:22:05,191
and in life together.
449
00:22:05,191 --> 00:22:07,539
I want you to be happy.
450
00:22:07,539 --> 00:22:08,671
You deserve it.
451
00:22:08,671 --> 00:22:09,809
Now ladies and gentlemen,
452
00:22:09,809 --> 00:22:12,440
here comes the moment
we've all been waiting for.
453
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:13,405
- Sarah's pregnant.
454
00:22:13,405 --> 00:22:15,093
- Welcome to the stage our very own
455
00:22:15,093 --> 00:22:16,510
head chef Roland.
456
00:22:23,334 --> 00:22:24,167
- Gay!
457
00:22:28,217 --> 00:22:30,448
- Bib's pregnant, everyone!
458
00:22:32,914 --> 00:22:33,890
- Thank you, thanks, guys.
459
00:22:33,890 --> 00:22:35,582
Thank you very much.
460
00:22:35,582 --> 00:22:38,836
It took a while but we
got there in the end, yes?
461
00:22:38,836 --> 00:22:40,341
And there's more good news.
462
00:22:40,341 --> 00:22:41,854
Sarah doesn't want our children
463
00:22:41,854 --> 00:22:44,487
to have Australian accents,
464
00:22:44,487 --> 00:22:48,512
so which means that I'm gonna
be staying put in my old job.
465
00:22:48,512 --> 00:22:49,834
I'm not going anywhere!
466
00:22:52,249 --> 00:22:53,082
Hit it!
467
00:22:54,438 --> 00:22:57,838
♫ Call me good, call me bad
468
00:22:57,838 --> 00:23:01,319
♫ Call me anything you want to, baby
469
00:23:03,781 --> 00:23:04,917
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
470
00:23:04,917 --> 00:23:06,742
You didn't mention
anything about that before.
471
00:23:06,742 --> 00:23:07,575
- Pardon?
472
00:23:07,575 --> 00:23:08,988
- Do you think we should
talk about this in private?
473
00:23:08,988 --> 00:23:10,009
- What are you doing?
474
00:23:10,009 --> 00:23:11,449
- When we spoke earlier
you were pretty much
475
00:23:11,449 --> 00:23:13,001
definite you weren't coming back.
476
00:23:13,001 --> 00:23:14,609
- Yeah, I was angry.
477
00:23:14,609 --> 00:23:17,045
- I know but the fact remains
478
00:23:17,045 --> 00:23:18,971
that I've had to move on.
479
00:23:18,971 --> 00:23:19,804
- Move on?
480
00:23:19,804 --> 00:23:21,628
I've been gone 14 hours!
481
00:23:21,628 --> 00:23:22,461
- Bib.
482
00:23:30,043 --> 00:23:31,423
I didn't know you were
going to get pregnant!
483
00:23:31,423 --> 00:23:32,432
- Neither did I!
484
00:23:32,432 --> 00:23:33,721
- That thing's not supposed to work.
485
00:23:33,721 --> 00:23:37,895
- It's a low sperm count
Roland, not a no-sperm count.
486
00:23:37,895 --> 00:23:38,728
Who is it?
487
00:23:40,170 --> 00:23:41,711
It's him, isn't it?
488
00:23:41,711 --> 00:23:42,544
Skoose?
489
00:23:42,544 --> 00:23:43,696
- Of course it's not Skoose.
490
00:23:43,696 --> 00:23:45,296
I'm not gonna make Skoose the sous chef.
491
00:23:45,296 --> 00:23:46,256
He's about 12!
492
00:23:46,256 --> 00:23:48,385
- Well, who is it then?
493
00:23:48,385 --> 00:23:49,631
- Her name's Beatrice.
494
00:23:49,631 --> 00:23:50,739
- Beatrice?
495
00:23:50,739 --> 00:23:52,467
- Caroline made me do it.
496
00:23:52,467 --> 00:23:53,300
- What?
497
00:23:53,300 --> 00:23:56,313
- I absolutely begged her
not to get someone else in,
498
00:23:56,313 --> 00:23:57,644
and she made me.
499
00:23:57,644 --> 00:23:58,568
You know what she's like.
500
00:23:58,568 --> 00:23:59,891
Walks around with a stick up her arse.
501
00:23:59,891 --> 00:24:01,045
Do this, do that.
502
00:24:01,045 --> 00:24:03,760
- I promised Sarah that I
would get my job back, Roland.
503
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,481
- Don't panic.
504
00:24:05,481 --> 00:24:07,490
This Beatrice woman is gorgeous.
505
00:24:07,490 --> 00:24:08,351
You know what I'm like.
506
00:24:08,351 --> 00:24:09,715
We'll be working late one night,
507
00:24:09,715 --> 00:24:10,865
prepping a function or something,
508
00:24:10,865 --> 00:24:11,781
I'll end up knobing her.
509
00:24:11,781 --> 00:24:12,835
She'll be gone in a month.
510
00:24:13,925 --> 00:24:14,758
- Roland.
511
00:24:15,673 --> 00:24:16,506
- What?
512
00:24:17,696 --> 00:24:20,779
- I think everyone can still hear us.
513
00:24:35,734 --> 00:24:36,567
- Shit!
514
00:24:37,894 --> 00:24:40,293
One, two, three...
515
00:24:47,104 --> 00:24:48,166
Oh, shit.
516
00:24:48,166 --> 00:24:48,999
Oh, shit,
517
00:24:50,103 --> 00:24:51,763
Oh, shit.
518
00:24:51,763 --> 00:24:53,513
Oh, shit, shit, shit.
519
00:24:56,620 --> 00:24:57,942
This is bad.
520
00:24:57,942 --> 00:24:59,490
- It's really, really bad.
521
00:24:59,490 --> 00:25:00,907
- This is so bad.
522
00:25:20,473 --> 00:25:23,556
♫ Those weepin' eyes
523
00:25:24,414 --> 00:25:27,497
♫ Those weepin' eyes
524
00:25:28,521 --> 00:25:31,604
♫ Those weepin' eyes
525
00:25:32,789 --> 00:25:35,872
♫ Those weepin' eyes
526
00:25:44,110 --> 00:25:45,110
- All right?
527
00:26:12,486 --> 00:26:15,986
♫ I never can say goodbye
528
00:26:17,471 --> 00:26:20,256
♫ No, no, no, no, I
529
00:26:20,256 --> 00:26:23,756
♫ I never can say goodbye
530
00:26:25,917 --> 00:26:30,259
♫ Every time I think I've had enough
531
00:26:30,259 --> 00:26:33,943
♫ And start heading for the door
532
00:26:33,943 --> 00:26:37,347
♫ There's a very strange vibration
533
00:26:37,347 --> 00:26:41,454
♫ Piercing me right to the core
534
00:26:41,454 --> 00:26:44,819
♫ It says turn around you fool
535
00:26:44,819 --> 00:26:48,977
♫ You know you love her more and more
536
00:26:48,977 --> 00:26:51,177
♫ Tell me why
537
00:26:51,177 --> 00:26:54,427
♫ Tell me why is it so
538
00:26:55,721 --> 00:26:58,923
♫ Don't want to let you go
539
00:26:58,923 --> 00:27:02,929
♫ No, I never can say goodbye, boy
540
00:27:02,929 --> 00:27:06,212
♫ Ooh, no, no
541
00:27:06,212 --> 00:27:08,855
♫ I never can say goodbye
542
00:27:08,855 --> 00:27:09,906
♫ No, no, no
543
00:27:09,906 --> 00:27:11,781
♫ No, no, no, no, no, no
544
00:27:11,781 --> 00:27:14,227
♫ Ooh, ooh
545
00:27:14,227 --> 00:27:18,023
♫ I never can say goodbye, boy
546
00:27:18,023 --> 00:27:20,773
♫ Ooh, never, no
547
00:27:21,726 --> 00:27:23,999
♫ I never can say goodbye
548
00:27:23,999 --> 00:27:25,047
♫ No, no, no
549
00:27:25,047 --> 00:27:26,878
♫ No, no, no, no, no, no
550
00:27:26,878 --> 00:27:28,594
♫ Ooh, ooh
551
00:27:33,999 --> 00:27:35,249
- The thing is,
552
00:27:37,017 --> 00:27:38,017
in Australia
553
00:27:41,086 --> 00:27:43,796
everything is dangerous.
554
00:27:43,796 --> 00:27:44,629
Sharks,
555
00:27:45,474 --> 00:27:46,307
snakes,
556
00:27:47,460 --> 00:27:49,690
murderers in the outback.
557
00:27:49,690 --> 00:27:52,788
That couple who disappeared?
558
00:27:52,788 --> 00:27:55,288
Could have been you and Sarah.
559
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,708
- Dingoes steal our baby!
560
00:28:02,771 --> 00:28:03,604
- Yes!
561
00:28:03,604 --> 00:28:04,521
See, dingo.
562
00:28:06,380 --> 00:28:07,713
Steal your baby.
563
00:28:09,099 --> 00:28:09,932
- Hmm.
564
00:28:12,937 --> 00:28:17,104
- You don't want to go all
the way out there, Bib.
565
00:28:18,822 --> 00:28:20,739
Much better right here.
566
00:28:23,965 --> 00:28:26,632
It's good to have you back, Bib.
567
00:28:30,891 --> 00:28:35,110
- It's good to have
you, too, back, Roland.
568
00:28:37,945 --> 00:28:39,028
The nice you.
569
00:28:59,968 --> 00:29:01,301
- Love you, Bib.
570
00:29:05,284 --> 00:29:07,201
- Love you too, Roland.
571
00:29:09,781 --> 00:29:12,864
- You'll do breakfast tomorrow, yeah?
572
00:29:17,052 --> 00:29:20,302
♫ Oh, what do you know
573
00:29:22,459 --> 00:29:25,623
♫ Since there's nothing above
574
00:29:25,623 --> 00:29:29,623
♫ There must be something below
575
00:29:30,808 --> 00:29:34,975
♫ So take those pictures off the wall
576
00:29:37,385 --> 00:29:40,357
♫ No one will believe you till
577
00:29:40,357 --> 00:29:44,524
♫ Your world starts to fall down
37137
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