Original subtitles

- [Narrator] Tonight, on Wiseguy.

- [Aldo] Not for nothin' Vinnie.

(gun fires)

- You've fallen in love with him, haven't ya?

I begged you, Susan, I begged you not to!

- I used to go home before Mel Profitt,

but now I haven't been there for a weekend

in more than three months.

I wanna be touched.

I wanna be loved.

- Terranova was the target.

I wanna know why.

I wanna know everything about him.

- I oughta blow his brain out!

(Susan yelps)

("Wiseguy Theme" by Mike Post)

(gulls chirp)

(patrons chatter)

(saw hums)

- Gino, this is a monumental waste of my talents, okay.

- You're doin' a good job, Aldo.

- Yeah, but I could be doin' things for you!

- You're doin' what I want you to do, Aldo.

- I was about to be a prince in Atlantic City!

- Well now you're the duke of Beef Wellington

in downtown Vancouver, which I understand from Mahoney,

is a lot better than what waits for you in the states.

(saw hums)

(hooks clatter)

(door thuds)

(uptempo electronic music)

- [Woman] Aldo.

- Sweet thing, how you doin'?

- Hey, Aldo!

Hey, don't you owe me somethin'?

- Come by the store, I'll give you any tray.

- I want a whole filet this time,

none of that watered down crap.

- Only the best for you, babe.

(traffic hums)

(gentle electronic music)

- Please, do not put me on hold again.

Not again.

You are the emergency free clinic.

Now what about my problem?

What does it look like?

It looks like, like peanut butter.

- What the.

(man groans)

Come on!

Don't use the phone, pal.

I got business to take care of, all right?

(coins clink)

(suspenseful electronic music)

(phone rings)

(gun clicks)

(phone rings)

- [Mack] Yeah, hello?

- [Aldo] Mack?

- [Mack] Aldo?

- [Aldo] Yeah, listen, I found Vinnie Terranova.

- I didn't know you were lookin' for him.

You're supposed to be hidin'.

- He betrayed us.

Let's take care of Vinnie, man.

I can do something about him.

- I heard he slid on a bum arrest,

like failure to properly execute.

- Come on, Mack, gimme somethin' to do up here.

I want permission to do somethin'.

- Don't ask me that!

Things change!

They busted our business.

Judges I had as friends are indicted.

Guys below me who were supposed to be taking care of things

in case of an emergency are killin' each other.

Kidnappin' each other's babies.

The government froze all my accounts.

The money I had hidden, I'm givin' to lawyers

who don't return my calls.

You're talkin' to a ghost, Aldo.

I got cancer.

- Mack.

I'm sorry, man.

- I don't want your sympathy!

I want you to learn, why don't you learn?

We had everything.

It wasn't enough, we had to have more.

Now we got nothin'.

Be smart, Aldo.

Forget about Terranova, try to live a life.

- I guess you're right.

I'm sorry that you're sick, Mack.

Listen Mack, do me a favor, get in touch with my family,

and let 'em know I'm okay, all right?

Mack?

- Ain't you talked to your family?

- Feds got everybody bugged.

We don't have one of those hidden phone lines like you got.

- Aldo. (chuckles)

You know, these federal charges,

they're a lot of pressure on us old guys.

Oh now, we know it goes with the territory

and all like that, but when it happens,

and they're playin' with a bad hand,

well it does funny things to your veins and arteries.

- Yeah, it's like why you're sick.

- Yeah well, me and your father.

He succumbed to the pressure, Aldo.

He had a heart attack.

He's dead Aldo, I'm sorry.

- When?

- Two weeks ago.

I thought you knew.

- My father.

- Listen, Aldo.

You're gonna have to start livin' your own life now.

Just forget about the past.

It drives you down.

Forget it, okay?

- Yeah.

- Good.

Goodbye, Aldo. (button clicks)

(somber music)

- [Aldo] Bang.

(traffic hums)

- Boy, I'm down here, my wife's, she's fat, you know?

Sex with her is like feeling up a crowd.

(Mel laughs) You know what I'm sayin'?

You know what I'm sayin' about that?

She's so fat, we go to the beach,

Greenpeace tries to throw her back in the water.

Boy, I'm tellin' ya, Mel,

this is a beautiful place you got here.

Doesn't look like a boat,

it looks like the Sistine Chapel, you know that?

There's a place, the Sistine Chapel.

Took Michelangelo seven years to get the ceiling painted.

He must have the same landlord I do.

(Mel laughs)

Same land, stay with it folks, it's a long voyage here.

- I love this guy.

Oh, you're killin' me, stop. (laughs)

Oh god.

You wanna come to dinner?

- You buyin'?

- Am I buying?

Yes, I'm buying.

- Well, I'm goin'.

- Don't you make any money in these comedy clubs?

- Well, if you pay me tonight,

I can buy my own food, you know?

You're big.

Oh, I hate planes.

My wife says it's like being on a bus.

It's like bein' on a bus?

I go 33,000 feet in the air, I'm tellin' ya,

I'm dingin', okay?

I'm dingin', ding-ding, I'm outta there.

- Well, there you are in a 900-dollar-a-day suite

at the George Cinque.

And here I am in a Naugahyde room

at the Karl Marx Pavilion.

Why I oughta.

(door knocks)

Oh this is great.

When I was undercover, it was pock-marked prostitutes.

How you doin'?

Just a second.

- [Comedian] My aunt died in a rainstorm like this,

you know?

Washin' her hair.

- [Aldo] Not for nothin', Vinnie.

(gun fires)

- Get out, get out, get out. (Susan screams)

(gun fires)

(glass clatters)

(dramatic electronic music)

- Susan! - Vinnie!

- [Mel] Susan, don't go out there!

- Vinnie!

- Get back here, don't go out there!

- Vinnie! - Susan!

Susan!

(Susan sobs)

- No, no.

No, no, please, don't die.

Please, live! - Get back to the boat!

Take care of the guests!

- Vinnie.

Please.

- You've gone and done it, haven't you?

You've fallen in love with him, haven't you?

I begged you, Susan, I begged you not to.

But you've done it!

I oughta blow his brains out!

(Susan yelps)

(suspenseful electronic music)

(monitor beeps)

- [Nurse] So what are we lookin' at?

- [Man] A case for gun control.

- Vince?

- [Nurse] Who is this?

Get the hell outta here!

- [Doctor] Type it, we go into OR.

- [Nurse] Still gave it up.

- [Doctor] Doesn't matter, he won't notice.

(elevator dings)

- Hi, uh, I'm Roger LoCocco,

I'm head of security for Profitt.

Can I come in?

- You're not goin' in there,

I don't care whose security you're in charge of.

- Evidence disintegrates in milliseconds,

now the sooner that room is given a forensic combing,

the greater the likelihood of catching whoever it was

who tried to assassinate Mr. Profitt.

- You get off this floor immediately,

or you'll be arrested.

- I'll be back.

- You do that.

When a ranking detective is on scene.

- Yeah.

Got it.

(elevator dings)

(patrons chatter)

I need a size nine.

Never been outta the box, never been touched.

I also need two pair of black over the cap socks.

I'm in a hurry, please, don't open the box.

I'll be right back.

Give you 50 bucks for that duct tape.

- 50 bucks for duct tape?

- 50 bucks.

- Thanks.

- [Officer] The head of Profitt's private security

has been bugging us about getting into the room.

- Is he still up there?

- [Officer] I don't think so.

- Well, if I comes back, send him to me.

- [Officer] Okay.

(people chatter)

(suspenseful electronic music)

(knife scrapes)

(bag crinkles)

(elevator dings)

- Back again.

Security guy's here.

- You are?

- Roger LoCocco.

Head of security for Mel Profitt.

- [Officer] Bad night for you, eh?

- No kidding.

Can I come in or what?

- Touch nothing?

- Agreed.

- Hey, you're standing in evidence.

- You know who my employer is?

- Yeah, he's the industrialist.

- Meaning he's very rich.

And he has more enemies than we care to count.

- Where were you when all this happened?

- I was about five feet from the victim.

He was one of Mr. Profitt's body guards.

- Anything else? - Like what?

- Like who did this so I can go home tonight?

- Hey, I'm not gettin' any sleep tonight either.

My boss is very upset.

- So I heard.

- Come on, keep your hands off.

Does he have to be here?

- Okay, you gotta go.

- Can't you give me anything?

My can's on the line about this.

- Yeah, I figured.

Tell your boss we're investigating.

Forensic will be getting back with us

over the next few days.

In the meantime, we'll give you what we can get, okay?

- Oh, do you have a card?

- Yeah.

Here.

You tell me, what's it like workin' for a guy that rich?

- Today, it stinks.

Can I use the toilet?

- [Detective] No.

- [Roger] Thanks.

(suspenseful electronic music)

(door thuds)

(coins clink)

(phone rings)

- Frank.

- [Frank] Yeah?

- Hang on a second.

Man, I can't handle this schedule.

With you and Vinny on a three-hour time zone lag,

I don't know if I'm comin' or goin'.

You're both late checkin' in, my nephew's three hours late.

- He's been shot.

He's been in OR for five hours.

- And you're just phonin' me now?

What's the prognosis?

- Nobody's smilin'.

- What can I do to support you?

- You can get our best forensics

to back up the Canadians.

I have a call on to Shagrass.

I want him to meet me at BC Mercy Hospital,

but he hasn't phoned back yet.

Follow that up.

- Yeah, I can do that.

Damn it, Frank, I don't know if I can ride this out

at the hardware store.

You know what I'm sayin'?

- Uh yeah.

- Mr. McPike.

- Uh, uncle, I gotta go.

I'll let you know as soon as I can.

- Lillah Warfield, I'm with state.

- Nice to meet you, where's Chuck?

- Mr. Shagrass is on medical leave.

- What's wrong, I was just gettin' used to him.

- It's a chronic thing.

- Nose candy?

That's a shame.

- Preliminary forensic findings are being rushed

at the request of the embassy.

This remains a little sticky since our man is a citizen only

and requesting a rush tends to raise eyebrows.

- Ms. Warfield, no offense,

but I don't care what gets raised,

and right now, Vince's cover couldn't mean less to me.

- A man among moles.

How'd you last this long in the system?

(monitor beeps)

- I want these windows bulletproofed.

- [Susan] Mel, we should liquidate everything.

- Oh?

Oh and then what?

You'd settle down

and raise a little passel of stick ball players?

I'd wither away into a melancholy memory?

- Why can't we live normal, boring lives?

We can do anything, why can't we do that?

What would we miss, huh?

- We would be defenseless.

I will never forget what that's like.

God, I feel like my skin is being stretched from the inside.

Thousands of razor-teethed little mice

are gnawing their way outta me!

- Let me get you something, Mel.

- I don't want elixir.

I want you.

I wanna know that I'm a part of you.

We're locked together, complete.

Where's Roger?

(traffic hums)

- Damn it, LoCocco, you scared the pants off of me.

- Please, Herb, don't make me sick.

- What is it you want?

- I need a full spectral analysis ASAP.

- What's in here?

- Two size nine Balis and a rear view mirror

from a Mercendes-Benz.

- Is this related to-- - I need a breakout

of all component material not inherent to the shoes,

the duct tape, the black socks, the rear view mirror,

and cardboard.

I need to know what I'm standing in Herb,

and I need to know it now.

- And I need to know,

is this related to the assassination attempt on Mel Profitt?

- Ah, that was no assassination attempt on Mel Profitt.

Those bullets hit home.

- What makes you think that?

- You don't use a high-powered rifle

and accidentally hit the same non-moving target twice.

Terranova was the target.

I wanna know why.

I wanna know everything about him.

(traffic hums)

♪ It's like thunder

♪ Lightin'

♪ The way you feel me is frightenin' ♪

♪ I got a knock knock knock knock on-- ♪

- What happened to your face?

♪ I don't wanna lose a good thing ♪

(people chatter)

- Uh, excuse me, doctors.

Mr. Terranova.

- Well, he lost a lot of blood.

His heart stopped beating.

He is not out of the woods yet,

but nothing vital was hit.

- See when the heart pumps as much donor blood

as the blood it produces.

We can't stay with any statistical certainty

one way or the other.

- Go home and rest.

(machine clicks)

- Yeah.

I'm turnin' these lines over to AG.

I don't know, maybe a week.

(switches click)

(somber electronic music)

(monitor beeps)

- I feel this empty and he's right here.

I see your eyes holding him.

And emptiness tears at my heart.

- I love you, Mel.

I love you.

- You wanna go see him?

- Yes.

(monitor beeps)

- My fallen warrior.

What is it like, so close to death?

You have my sister's heart, and I would curse you

if it were not for the abyss.

When you look over, does it beckon?

I believe that death

is whatever you want it to be.

If you expect heaven or hell, you'll get it.

I expect nothing.

I pray for you.

(suspenseful music)

To return from the edge.

I can't live with my sister in love with an assumption.

I need you back.

In all your primordial glory.

(monitor beeps)

(door knocks)

- [Frank] Is he all right?

- As far as I know.

- Oh, sorry.

I can't stay awake, Lill.

Yes please, can you send up some coffee?

Would you like anything?

- Asbach Uralt.

Asbach Uralt, German liqueur.

- Asbach Uralt, a German liqueur.

Yes sir, thank you.

- Their preliminaries, forensic, pathology, toxicology.

The assailant is B positive, type from bloodstain,

broken glass, Mr. Profitt's security returned fire.

The carpeting by the window shows a high concentration

of dead animal fats and oils,

mostly steer but also goat, rabbit, and bison.

Gum, sugar, food dyes, red, yellow, green,

and preservatives associated with candies.

- We have an assassin that travels with a refrigerator.

- You are exhausted, aren't you?

- Yes ma'am, I'm exhausted, I'm spent.

- We are looking for a man.

(chuckles) Relax, relax.

Who works in a butcher store

with at least a sideline specialty in exotic meats

and probably sells candies or is addicted to sweets.

Three stores in this area fit the profile,

and from the BD Health Department,

I have a list of current employees.

Look in the back.

(door knocks)

Hi, um.

- [Frank] Lillah, I have that.

- It's okay, thanks.

- 25 people, this is a list of probable suspects.

- [Lillah] Very astute.

- Well let's go.

We should be able to cover those by ourselves.

- Frank.

Frank, it's after midnight.

- Well, I guess that keeps till morning.

- Would you like to try some of this?

- That's very nice.

I don't think this is a good idea, Lillah.

- What do you mean?

- I just can't bare my soul to you.

(Frank clears throat)

- Sorry, Frank.

- Lillah.

Lillah.

Please don't take this as a personal thing.

I used to go home before Mel Profitt.

Now I haven't been there for a weekend

in more than three months.

I know the strain's beginning to show.

I'm hurtin' in places I don't wanna hurt.

And Vince.

Vince, you know.

I stood right here buyin' a hamburger when he took it.

And I looked out there, and there he was,

in the blood and the pain.

You know, I'd just been bitchin' about how lucky he had it.

And my wife left me.

I hadn't talked to her in a week.

We kept missin' each other.

This morning I got a recording telling me

that the phone had been disconnected

at the customer's request.

She put my dog in a kennel and took my kid to her mother's.

You tell me where the hell that's at.

My dog is 13 years old,

and he's gonna stay in a kennel till I get back

or I exceed my credit card limit,

in which case I don't have any idea what happens to him.

Now Vinnie's dyin', and she tells me I'm doing this to her?

Actually, her mother tells me

because she won't talk to me.

She says that if she were dyin',

I said, go ahead and go on without me

because I have no idea why I'll be home.

And here I am, standin' here in my nightie,

tellin' this to a practically absolute stranger.

A very nice stranger.

'Cause.

'Cause Lillah I wanna be touched.

I wanna be loved.

Because I'm an ass.

- The world stinks, Frank.

Life out of a suitcase is hollow and lonely.

- Yeah.

- It's as lonely as the grave out there, Frank.

She'll feel that

the minute she steps out to dinner without you.

She's probably feeling it right now.

It's been a year for me, Frank.

A year of fear and lonely nights.

I'm dying to make love with you.

(gentle electronic music)

(traffic hums)

- [Woman] Hey, Aldo!

- [Aldo] Hey, babe, how you doin'?

- [Woman] Can make you happy, Aldo.

- [Aldo] Aldo's a happy man.

- Hey look, special rates, eh?

- Look, I work in a meat market.

No offense, you're a treat I can afford

only afford once in a while, I told you.

- Hey look, I heard from Deb you pay in groceries, huh?

- Yeah.

- Look, I'm starvin' Aldo.

A week's worth of groceries, please,

I'll do anything for you.

- Anything?

- Yeah.

Look, I got feel good lotions and potions in my place

I'll have you speakin' in tongues.

Nobody'll do you like me.

- Yeah all right, come on, let's go.

- Roger.

Roger.

No funny business, Roger.

I have angina.

- [Roger] You're so full of it, Herb.

- Hey now, you take advantage of your position.

You use it to be cruel to me,

that doesn't go unnoted, understand?

- You're a beautiful person, Herb.

What have you got?

- Should be a piece of cake for ya.

You're lookin' for a butcher.

- What?

- It's in the report, everything's in the report.

Try reading.

- Your business is reading, my business is fulfillment.

Save me some overtime, pal, what's the bottom line?

- Probability is the guy's working for

one of three butcher shops in Vancouver.

There's a list of 25 employees.

Data net highlighted the most likely by demographic

definition effectively use a long range rifle at night.

Four names and current or most recent addresses.

- That it?

- One more thing.

No more favors.

- Excuse me?

- I have my tricks, too.

- Step back and release it, Herb.

(suspenseful music)

Step back!

Release it!

(weapon thuds)

- I don't like these little forays for Mel Profitt.

Hey I'm putting myself at risk,

and all you're doing is showing off.

- So what?

- Well I don't like to be used.

I especially don't like to be used by you!

- Why that's the balance of life, Herb.

The ebb and flow of the universe.

You owe, I collect.

- You collect and collect,

well end of the line on this debt.

No more demands.

This is the last favor you call in like this.

- I don't think so, Herb.

I am the conductor on this train.

I will say when the ride is over.

(suspenseful music)

(bell jingles)

Aldo Baglia.

Your time is up.

(door thuds)

(heartbeat pounds)

- Morning, how's Mr. Terranova?

- I think fine.

Let's look at his chart.

- You move, and you're dead.

Now drop the rod.

(rod clatters)

Turn around real slow.

- It's a little hard to do 'em both at the same time, Frank.

- Uncle.

You're tall.

- I'm also losin' my balance.

Would you mind handin' me my walkin' stick?

And you feel secure enough to put the gun away?

- Why didn't you tell me you were comin' out here?

- I covered all my bases before leavin'.

I didn't wanna argue about it.

I didn't need to be told there was nothin' I could do.

- There's nothin' you can do.

- I just said I didn't wanna be told that.

- He's not lookin' too good, is he?

- He's gonna be fine, aren't you man, huh?

It's your Uncle Mike.

- Uncle Mike.

- Nurse!

He's awake.

- I'll call a doctor!

- He's awake.

- Good.

- What are you doin' here?

- They made an identification of a print

taken in the hotel room.

- Come on.

- Man by the name of Aldo Baglia.

- Aldo.

Which store is it?

- A federal shield has no authority here.

- I'm not gonna have a policy argument with you.

- I will call the justice department,

arrange for extradition papers to be drawn up

and the Canadians'll pick 'em up, Frank!

You're gonna end up in jail.

(traffic hums)

♪ Hallelujah

♪ This is exactly my burden

- Sweetie!

Don't forget my groceries.

- Yeah.

Sweetest, babe.

(traffic hums)

- [Roger] Man, you are this ugly.

(bucket clatters)

- Ah, damn it.

- Excuse me, sir.

Does Mr. Aldo Redding work here?

- Who are you?

- I'm with the bank.

Mr. Redding's applied for a loan.

We're having a tough time tracing his line of credit.

- A loan, has he lost his mind?

- There he is, Aldo, Aldo!

(children chatter)

(suspenseful music)

(door thuds)

(Aldo groans) (gun clatters)

(punches thud)

- I know you're trying to kill Vince Terranova.

What I don't know is why.

Now you're gonna tell me, right?

(Aldo screams)

(Aldo thuds)

Damn.

(crowd clamors)

(suspenseful music)

(engine rumbles)

(Vince groans)

- So what's the joke, Roger?

- Ah, you're the joke, Vince.

Profitt's so depressed

that he wasn't the target of an assassination,

he's locked himself in his room, and he won't come out.

- That's great.

I guess that means I have to give this good luck charm back.

- Hey, that's no charm, that's magic.

Profitt voodoo.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, don't take it so lightly.

The man has an IQ of over 200 and he prays to hat racks,

you figure it out, but don't think it's not real.

I've seen him at ritual lost in some blind zombie state,

it's not a pretty sight.

- So what's with the teeth?

- Things are never what they seem, are they, Vince?

Imagine Aldo Baglia slipping in grease.

Shoulda seen the look on his face

as he went over the side of the building.

Ah!

Life is full of surprises, isn't it, Vince?

I bet you have a few surprises for me.

I know I have a few surprises for you.

("Wiseguy Theme" by Mike Post)