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1
00:00:03,024 --> 00:00:04,650
How's it going
down there, Chuck?
2
00:00:04,650 --> 00:00:08,029
Real good, babe. [groans]
3
00:00:08,029 --> 00:00:11,574
Is the Anti-Life Equation
affecting you the same way
it did the chicken?
4
00:00:11,574 --> 00:00:15,119
No, babe, but I am being
affected a teensy-weensy bit...
[groans]
5
00:00:15,119 --> 00:00:17,288
From all the trees
you're slamming me into.
6
00:00:17,288 --> 00:00:19,206
Oh. [chuckles] Sorry.
7
00:00:19,206 --> 00:00:21,000
Sometimes I forget
you're down there.
8
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,670
- As long as you
don't say that in bed, babe.
- [both laugh]
9
00:00:24,670 --> 00:00:25,755
[thuds]
10
00:00:25,755 --> 00:00:26,881
[Golden Glider yelps]
11
00:00:30,468 --> 00:00:33,179
I think you've run
long enough.
12
00:00:33,179 --> 00:00:35,598
[scoffs]
How did you find us?
13
00:00:35,598 --> 00:00:37,099
I got this, babe.
14
00:00:37,099 --> 00:00:40,019
Is it because I search
for highly rated
Anti-Life Equation
15
00:00:40,019 --> 00:00:41,812
disposal options near me?
16
00:00:41,812 --> 00:00:43,689
Yes. And thank you.
17
00:00:43,689 --> 00:00:44,899
- Knew it!
- Babe!
18
00:00:44,899 --> 00:00:46,901
Sorry, babe.
I thought it was worth a shot.
19
00:00:46,901 --> 00:00:50,112
Well, we're not giving you
the Anti-Life Equation.
20
00:00:50,112 --> 00:00:52,865
Chuck and I
will die to protect it.
21
00:00:52,865 --> 00:00:54,575
- Oh, dang it!
- Chuck!
22
00:00:54,575 --> 00:00:57,203
I'm sorry, babe. I am so sorry.
23
00:00:57,203 --> 00:01:00,081
If you want it back,
I have a price.
24
00:01:00,081 --> 00:01:02,500
A talk with me, face to face.
25
00:01:02,500 --> 00:01:08,089
- My robots will escort you.
- Oh, right, so you can kill us.
No way.
26
00:01:08,089 --> 00:01:10,049
I thought you might say that.
27
00:01:10,049 --> 00:01:14,220
- Which is why I brought
an olive branch.
- Pass.
28
00:01:14,220 --> 00:01:17,973
All the olive branches,
olive oils, and pimento olives
in the world
29
00:01:17,973 --> 00:01:22,269
won't get us there because,
newsflash, I don't like olives!
30
00:01:22,269 --> 00:01:24,397
Do you like this?
31
00:01:24,397 --> 00:01:27,400
- My kite?
- I saved it from the fire,
32
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,318
which is what
I want to do for you.
33
00:01:29,318 --> 00:01:32,988
You can't spend your life
on the run, Kite Man.
34
00:01:32,988 --> 00:01:34,907
It's time you faced this.
35
00:01:35,783 --> 00:01:37,284
Trust me.
36
00:01:39,412 --> 00:01:41,288
[theme music playing]
37
00:02:06,439 --> 00:02:08,566
We've run that simulation
millions of times.
38
00:02:08,566 --> 00:02:10,359
And it always
comes out the same.
39
00:02:10,359 --> 00:02:12,570
All life in the universe
is extinguished.
40
00:02:12,570 --> 00:02:15,364
- The end of everything.
- Including my customers.
41
00:02:15,364 --> 00:02:17,074
Which is why
I don't want this to happen.
42
00:02:17,074 --> 00:02:20,828
It is inspiring how much
you care for your customers.
43
00:02:20,828 --> 00:02:22,997
- Well, they're always right.
- Mmm, unless they're dead.
44
00:02:22,997 --> 00:02:26,083
Precisely! Which is what
I'm trying to avoid.
45
00:02:26,083 --> 00:02:27,460
No matter the variable,
46
00:02:27,460 --> 00:02:30,337
the simulation
always ends that way.
47
00:02:30,337 --> 00:02:32,840
With one exception.
48
00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:35,134
You, Kite Man.
49
00:02:35,134 --> 00:02:38,262
There's a scenario where
you use the Anti-Life Equation
50
00:02:38,262 --> 00:02:40,264
and this doesn't happen.
51
00:02:40,264 --> 00:02:42,308
Uh, cool.
52
00:02:42,308 --> 00:02:43,768
- Why not?
- Yeah.
53
00:02:44,226 --> 00:02:45,311
Why not?
54
00:02:45,311 --> 00:02:46,687
I wish we knew.
55
00:02:46,687 --> 00:02:49,982
But the fate of the world
is in your capab...
56
00:02:49,982 --> 00:02:52,068
Well, your hands.
57
00:02:52,068 --> 00:02:53,611
But it won't be easy.
58
00:02:53,611 --> 00:02:55,571
Lex wants the equation
to kill Superman,
59
00:02:55,571 --> 00:02:57,239
and has no clue
he'll kill us all.
60
00:02:57,239 --> 00:02:58,699
We've dealt with Lex before.
61
00:02:58,699 --> 00:03:00,368
But you've never
dealt with Darkseid.
62
00:03:00,368 --> 00:03:01,827
He's hunting you, too,
63
00:03:01,827 --> 00:03:03,537
and if he gets the equation,
we're all dead.
64
00:03:03,537 --> 00:03:06,665
So whatever you do,
do it quickly.
65
00:03:06,665 --> 00:03:07,875
Okay...
66
00:03:07,875 --> 00:03:10,086
I can't believe I'm going
to fucking say this,
67
00:03:10,086 --> 00:03:12,713
but godspeed, Kite Man!
68
00:03:12,713 --> 00:03:14,757
[suspenseful music playing]
69
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:22,056
Drinking light beer
these days, huh Gus?
70
00:03:22,056 --> 00:03:24,642
Yeah. I just thought
I'd switch it up, Nooman.
71
00:03:24,642 --> 00:03:26,727
- Nooman?
- [Bane] Goddam it!
72
00:03:26,727 --> 00:03:28,979
I've been tugging coffee
and prune juice,
73
00:03:28,979 --> 00:03:32,191
but I'm stuffed up
like a hydroelectric dam.
74
00:03:32,191 --> 00:03:34,235
Sometimes the best laxative
75
00:03:34,235 --> 00:03:36,320
is a little thing
called patience.
76
00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:37,571
Shove it, dickbag!
77
00:03:37,571 --> 00:03:39,573
I have no time
for your patience.
78
00:03:39,573 --> 00:03:43,035
I have to poop in the
Portal Potty right now
79
00:03:43,035 --> 00:03:47,123
so I can go back to the '80s
and find Goldilocks!
80
00:03:47,123 --> 00:03:49,417
She's probably 'lone and scared
81
00:03:49,417 --> 00:03:51,919
and this close
to trying to get famous
82
00:03:51,919 --> 00:03:53,587
by singing in a mall.
83
00:03:53,587 --> 00:03:55,715
Yeah, kids are easy to lose.
84
00:03:55,715 --> 00:03:59,176
I have one or two kiddos
wander off every field trip,
85
00:03:59,176 --> 00:04:00,511
and perish.
86
00:04:00,511 --> 00:04:02,513
[Bane] That is weird
and not helpful.
87
00:04:04,598 --> 00:04:06,600
Helen says
it's up to you to save us.
88
00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:08,352
So, what's your plan?
89
00:04:08,352 --> 00:04:10,438
Ooh, uh, I was kind of hoping
90
00:04:10,438 --> 00:04:12,857
something would
hit me on the way over.
91
00:04:12,857 --> 00:04:14,316
Uh... Oh! I know.
92
00:04:14,316 --> 00:04:15,943
Yes! That's my Chuck!
93
00:04:15,943 --> 00:04:16,944
I'll take a shower.
94
00:04:16,944 --> 00:04:18,529
That's where
I get my best ideas.
95
00:04:18,529 --> 00:04:20,614
What kind of idea
we lookin' for?
96
00:04:20,614 --> 00:04:24,952
Oh, you know,
just one that allows us
to defeat two apex villains
97
00:04:24,952 --> 00:04:28,414
while also destroying
a heretofore undestroyable
cosmic weapon.
98
00:04:28,414 --> 00:04:30,541
Anything coming to mind?
99
00:04:30,541 --> 00:04:33,419
Just if we're making war plans,
100
00:04:33,419 --> 00:04:36,505
we should adjourn
to the war room.
101
00:04:43,304 --> 00:04:44,472
[Sixpack grunts]
102
00:04:45,306 --> 00:04:46,807
[Kite Man] We have a basement?
103
00:04:46,807 --> 00:04:48,976
This is why you use
a real estate agent.
104
00:04:52,146 --> 00:04:55,816
[Jazzercise Instructor]
And side to side!
And side to side!
105
00:04:55,816 --> 00:04:59,779
And glute and chute!
And glute and chute!
106
00:04:59,779 --> 00:05:02,490
Are you
Princess Rebecca Chen?
107
00:05:02,490 --> 00:05:05,618
You look beautiful!
108
00:05:05,618 --> 00:05:08,454
I better. If I'm gonna be
the next Sheena Easton,
109
00:05:08,454 --> 00:05:09,997
I gotta up my leg game.
110
00:05:09,997 --> 00:05:12,416
What do you want, kid?
You shit here from the future?
111
00:05:12,416 --> 00:05:15,669
I went number two
and it sent me back in time.
112
00:05:15,669 --> 00:05:18,547
And Baney told me
a story 'bout you.
113
00:05:18,547 --> 00:05:20,508
Bane? What did he have to say?
114
00:05:20,508 --> 00:05:25,721
It's a story about
your daughter on the run
with the Anti-Life 'quation.
115
00:05:25,721 --> 00:05:29,475
My daughter has something
called the Anti-Life Quation?
116
00:05:29,475 --> 00:05:31,769
Mmm. Tell me more.
117
00:05:32,978 --> 00:05:35,439
[beeping]
118
00:05:35,439 --> 00:05:38,067
Sire, this chip
was torn from Chessure.
119
00:05:38,067 --> 00:05:41,612
Now we have no way
of tracking Malice
and the Anti-Life Equation.
120
00:05:41,612 --> 00:05:43,406
How is that possible?
121
00:05:43,406 --> 00:05:47,576
- That kid from Petigans, uh-
- [Ominous Choir] ♪ Brandon! ♪
122
00:05:47,576 --> 00:05:48,869
Right. Brandon.
123
00:05:48,869 --> 00:05:51,872
He guaranteed
it would never dislodge.
124
00:05:51,872 --> 00:05:55,209
He probably didn't anticipate
the giant chicken attack, sire.
125
00:05:55,209 --> 00:05:57,878
I'm sorry. But do you know
what guarantee means?
126
00:05:57,878 --> 00:06:00,381
[Ominous Choir] ♪ A promise
That certain conditions
Will be fulfilled ♪
127
00:06:00,381 --> 00:06:03,008
A promise
that certain conditions
will be fulfilled.
128
00:06:03,008 --> 00:06:07,054
Yes. Well, Brandon broke
his fucking promise.
129
00:06:07,054 --> 00:06:10,433
And now we don't know where
the Anti-Life Equation is.
130
00:06:10,433 --> 00:06:15,563
But I do know
exactly where to go.
131
00:06:15,563 --> 00:06:19,567
Okay, and do you have
a Petigans Plus account?
132
00:06:19,567 --> 00:06:22,903
Brandon! You guaranteed me
this tracking chip
133
00:06:22,903 --> 00:06:25,698
could never be dislodged
from my demon cat.
134
00:06:25,698 --> 00:06:27,533
Oh, I remember you. Yeah.
135
00:06:27,533 --> 00:06:30,077
You have your
Petigans Plus card?
I could give you a refund.
136
00:06:30,077 --> 00:06:34,457
A refund doesn't give me
my fucking Anti-Life Equation,
does it, Brandon?
137
00:06:34,457 --> 00:06:37,334
You broke a guarantee.
138
00:06:37,334 --> 00:06:41,005
And the punishment for that
is torture for 1,000 years.
139
00:06:41,005 --> 00:06:44,759
- Um, um, sire?
- Um, um, what, DeSaad?
140
00:06:44,759 --> 00:06:48,596
We probably don't have
1,000 years to find
the Anti-Life Equation.
141
00:06:48,596 --> 00:06:52,224
Well, I guess every party
needs a pooper.
That's why we invited DeSaad.
142
00:06:52,224 --> 00:06:54,393
[Ominous Choir chanting]
♪ Ha ha ha! ♪
143
00:06:54,393 --> 00:06:55,936
But perhaps you're right.
144
00:06:55,936 --> 00:06:58,898
Instead of being tortured
for 1,000 years,
145
00:06:58,898 --> 00:07:01,817
you will serve me on
Apokolips for eternity.
146
00:07:01,817 --> 00:07:05,071
Um... 'Kay, I could
probably start Thursday.
147
00:07:05,071 --> 00:07:07,615
I gotta tell Gary,
my boss here--
148
00:07:07,615 --> 00:07:09,700
You'll start right now.
149
00:07:11,702 --> 00:07:15,414
Yeah, so Helen says
I need to use it somehow.
150
00:07:15,414 --> 00:07:17,917
That doesn't make sense.
How the hell do you use it?
151
00:07:17,917 --> 00:07:20,961
Or destroy it when even
a nuclear blast couldn't?
152
00:07:20,961 --> 00:07:22,797
We don't have any idea. Okay?
153
00:07:22,797 --> 00:07:25,800
As far as I know,
there's no way to destroy it.
154
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:28,135
Hey, hey, you guys
ever seen The Exorcist?
155
00:07:28,135 --> 00:07:30,638
That movie about
the little girl possessed
by the demon
156
00:07:30,638 --> 00:07:32,306
and nobody can figure out
how to get rid of it?
157
00:07:32,306 --> 00:07:34,809
Yeah, right.
And then the old priest says,
158
00:07:34,809 --> 00:07:40,314
"Hey, demon, when you're done
playing with the kids,
try and fuck with me."
159
00:07:40,314 --> 00:07:42,858
Oh, yeah, and then the demons
like, "It's on!"
160
00:07:42,858 --> 00:07:47,655
Right. And it jumps into him
and the priest is all like,
"Joke's on you demon.
161
00:07:47,655 --> 00:07:49,824
I'm jumping out this window."
And he does.
162
00:07:49,824 --> 00:07:54,787
And he slams into
the stairs, kills himself
and the demon dies inside him.
163
00:07:57,498 --> 00:08:01,752
Chuck, are you suggesting
that you invite the Anti-Life
Equation inside you
164
00:08:01,752 --> 00:08:03,629
and then kill yourself
to destroy it?
165
00:08:03,629 --> 00:08:05,715
[spitting loudly]
What? Holy shit.
166
00:08:05,715 --> 00:08:09,677
No, I was just like,
"The Exorcist,
that's a pretty good movie."
167
00:08:09,677 --> 00:08:13,347
It was just suggested to me
on my Villigans Crime
"Watch Next" list.
168
00:08:13,347 --> 00:08:17,476
[chuckling] Kill myself?
How did you get that from that?
169
00:08:17,476 --> 00:08:19,186
[laughs in relief]
170
00:08:19,186 --> 00:08:21,939
I'm glad you think so,
because that's just crazy.
171
00:08:21,939 --> 00:08:24,233
So crazy,
it just might work.
172
00:08:24,233 --> 00:08:27,987
Whoever reads the equation,
becomes the equation.
173
00:08:27,987 --> 00:08:30,448
And like The Exorcist tells us,
174
00:08:30,448 --> 00:08:33,159
if they die, it dies.
175
00:08:33,159 --> 00:08:34,702
Newheart is right!
176
00:08:34,702 --> 00:08:37,663
Kite Man should use
the Anti-Life Equation
and kill himself.
177
00:08:37,663 --> 00:08:38,914
Who's with me?
178
00:08:38,914 --> 00:08:40,332
- [Queen of Fables] I am.
- [Moe] Of course.
179
00:08:40,332 --> 00:08:41,876
- Uh what?
- [Bane] Thanks for dying,
Kite Man.
180
00:08:41,876 --> 00:08:43,169
- That's a classy way to die.
- Excuse me?
181
00:08:43,169 --> 00:08:44,628
Looks like
the voters have spoken.
182
00:08:44,628 --> 00:08:47,465
Okay, so
we're really doing this then.
183
00:08:47,465 --> 00:08:50,676
Guess I'll, uh, have
to figure out the best thing
184
00:08:50,676 --> 00:08:54,680
to, uh, throw myself
to the death off of--
185
00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:56,891
Wait! What if once it's in him,
186
00:08:56,891 --> 00:08:59,393
the Anti-Life Equation
won't let him kill himself?
187
00:08:59,393 --> 00:09:03,230
Great point, Malice!
That... That is the plan's
Achilles heel.
188
00:09:03,230 --> 00:09:07,068
- Well, back
to the drawing board--
- Or I'll kill you.
189
00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:09,070
That way you can't back out.
190
00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:12,073
- Boom, bam, bing, dead!
- Ooh, fuck that!
You're a terrible shot.
191
00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:14,033
I'll throw the Evil Fairy
Godmother at him.
192
00:09:14,033 --> 00:09:17,745
Kite Man, I'd be happy
to 'splode you
if you'd like me to.
193
00:09:17,745 --> 00:09:21,540
That is, uh, so helpful
of you guys.
194
00:09:21,540 --> 00:09:25,419
So, uh, are we thinking
quick and painless or--
195
00:09:25,419 --> 00:09:28,839
- [Bane] Well, uh, quick--
- Okay, nobody's killing Chuck.
196
00:09:28,839 --> 00:09:30,841
- Why not?
- Come on!
197
00:09:30,841 --> 00:09:32,343
- [Noonan] Who calls
the shots around here?
- [Bane] I don't mind really.
198
00:09:32,343 --> 00:09:34,887
Chuck, don't let them
talk you into it.
199
00:09:34,887 --> 00:09:37,348
- I won't lose you like this.
- Yeah.
200
00:09:37,348 --> 00:09:40,267
You've always said
my power is my heart.
201
00:09:40,267 --> 00:09:43,396
My kindness.
Which used to make me so mad.
202
00:09:43,396 --> 00:09:46,691
But I didn't tell you
'cause I didn't want
to hurt your feelings.
203
00:09:46,691 --> 00:09:48,818
But maybe you're right.
204
00:09:48,818 --> 00:09:52,113
Maybe kindness is a key
that opens all doors,
205
00:09:52,113 --> 00:09:56,992
but only locks one,
the door to the end
of the universe.
206
00:09:56,992 --> 00:10:00,913
Which is a dooz. So, Babe,
207
00:10:00,913 --> 00:10:05,793
I have to ask.
Lisa Golden Glider Snart,
208
00:10:05,793 --> 00:10:09,296
will you take silly old me
to have and to hold,
209
00:10:09,296 --> 00:10:14,927
till death, at your hands,
do us part?
210
00:10:14,927 --> 00:10:17,263
It's... It's just,
it has to be you, babe.
211
00:10:18,305 --> 00:10:19,223
Please.
212
00:10:20,725 --> 00:10:24,311
Yes, Chuck. I'll do it.
213
00:10:24,311 --> 00:10:26,564
I'd rather be dead myself
than live without you.
214
00:10:26,564 --> 00:10:29,483
But if you can make
this sacrifice, then I can too.
215
00:10:30,735 --> 00:10:31,902
We need a minute.
216
00:10:32,987 --> 00:10:36,032
[bagpipes playing]
217
00:10:39,535 --> 00:10:43,831
Hey, after all this...
[whispers] I know
a guy you might like.
218
00:10:52,965 --> 00:10:57,928
- And this pocket is too-
- Hot. I know. Jesus. Try this.
219
00:10:57,928 --> 00:11:02,349
So what you're saying
is my daughter
has the Anti-Life Equation?
220
00:11:02,349 --> 00:11:06,103
Baney said it's the most
powerful weapon in the universe
221
00:11:06,103 --> 00:11:08,856
and everybody wants it.
222
00:11:08,856 --> 00:11:11,817
'cluding Darkseid.
223
00:11:11,817 --> 00:11:14,779
- The end.
- Interesting.
224
00:11:17,823 --> 00:11:20,368
Darkseid Choir auditions.
225
00:11:20,368 --> 00:11:22,536
Very interesting.
226
00:11:22,536 --> 00:11:25,873
This cuisine is too lean!
227
00:11:25,873 --> 00:11:27,875
You know, kid,
you're a real cunt.
228
00:11:28,876 --> 00:11:30,795
Uh, Darkseid?
229
00:11:30,795 --> 00:11:33,339
They said your warranty voided
as soon as you took
the chip out of the cat.
230
00:11:33,339 --> 00:11:35,132
I didn't take
the fucking chip out!
231
00:11:35,132 --> 00:11:36,675
They owe me a full refund!
232
00:11:36,675 --> 00:11:40,554
Sire, perhaps your
unquenchable thirst for revenge
233
00:11:40,554 --> 00:11:44,725
is proving a fatal flaw,
that may be distracting
you from your...
234
00:11:44,725 --> 00:11:46,394
Fatal what?
235
00:11:46,394 --> 00:11:50,022
Uh, let's remember
this is all because
Malice lied.
236
00:11:50,022 --> 00:11:53,693
Now I know the plan was to look
everywhere but Noonan's,
237
00:11:53,693 --> 00:11:56,570
however, I took a chance.
238
00:11:56,570 --> 00:11:58,781
- God-daddy!
- She was at Noonan's after all.
239
00:11:58,781 --> 00:12:03,661
I'm hearing
the most awful rumor
that you think I lied to you.
240
00:12:03,661 --> 00:12:07,832
Malice! Kite Man
and Golden Glider
have the Anti-Life Equation.
241
00:12:07,832 --> 00:12:11,168
Not Lex Luthor
and Helen Villigan,
like you told me.
242
00:12:11,168 --> 00:12:14,797
- Or am I wrong?
- Okay, fine. They do.
243
00:12:14,797 --> 00:12:17,466
But it doesn't matter,
because it's probably
already destroyed.
244
00:12:17,466 --> 00:12:20,094
So you'll just have to find
some other stupid math problem
245
00:12:20,094 --> 00:12:21,929
to fuck or whatever
you want to do with it.
246
00:12:21,929 --> 00:12:23,431
I don't want to fuck it.
247
00:12:23,431 --> 00:12:26,559
And quite frankly, Malice,
that's just really crass.
248
00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:28,185
No human can destroy it.
249
00:12:28,185 --> 00:12:29,854
They already tried to nuke it.
250
00:12:29,854 --> 00:12:31,772
Well, they're trying
a different way.
251
00:12:31,772 --> 00:12:34,066
They're exorcist-ing it.
252
00:12:34,066 --> 00:12:35,943
They're using exorcist rules.
253
00:12:35,943 --> 00:12:37,486
Oh, yeah. Fuck, yeah.
254
00:12:37,486 --> 00:12:40,448
Where the demon enters
the priest, he kills himself,
255
00:12:40,448 --> 00:12:41,699
so the demon dies, too.
256
00:12:41,699 --> 00:12:44,577
He's all like,
"Your mother sucks cocks
in hell.
257
00:12:44,577 --> 00:12:47,371
- Your mother sucks cocks--"
- Jesus Christ, Brandon!
258
00:12:47,371 --> 00:12:50,124
- This throne room isn't rated
NC-Brandon.
- Sorry.
259
00:12:50,124 --> 00:12:51,959
Where... Where did
Petigans find this kid?
260
00:12:51,959 --> 00:12:53,878
Anyway, that's
what they're doing.
261
00:12:53,878 --> 00:12:57,173
[whispers] Sire, that might
actually destroy the Equation.
262
00:12:57,173 --> 00:13:00,384
DeSaad, if you're at a party
263
00:13:00,384 --> 00:13:03,137
and you can't tell
who the pooper is,
264
00:13:03,137 --> 00:13:04,847
you're the pooper.
265
00:13:04,847 --> 00:13:06,974
You're the pooper, DeSaad!
266
00:13:06,974 --> 00:13:09,351
Your friends, where are they?
267
00:13:09,351 --> 00:13:12,646
I won't tell you because
I won't let you kill them.
268
00:13:12,646 --> 00:13:15,524
You just said
they're using exorcist rules.
269
00:13:15,524 --> 00:13:19,528
Which means they're
trying to kill themselves.
270
00:13:19,528 --> 00:13:22,990
Once I have the equation,
I'll let them live.
271
00:13:22,990 --> 00:13:26,869
So it seems the only way
for you to save them
272
00:13:26,869 --> 00:13:29,080
is to tell me where they are!
273
00:13:30,664 --> 00:13:34,960
How much fiber
is one supposed to ingest
before a goddam bowel-
274
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:39,507
- Hi, Baney!
- Goldi! I was worried sick!
275
00:13:39,507 --> 00:13:41,217
I was in the '80s.
276
00:13:41,217 --> 00:13:45,137
You cannot go wandering
by yourself into the '80s.
277
00:13:45,137 --> 00:13:46,680
It is not safe.
278
00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:49,850
There are no car seats.
No one wears sunblock.
279
00:13:49,850 --> 00:13:52,978
I mean, the hairspray alone
could choke you to death.
280
00:13:52,978 --> 00:13:55,773
I saw Princess Rebecca Chen!
281
00:13:55,773 --> 00:13:57,316
Did you talk to her?
282
00:13:57,316 --> 00:14:01,070
I told her the story
'bout the Anti-Life 'Quation.
283
00:14:01,070 --> 00:14:04,407
Hmm, well,
hopefully, that's no big deal.
284
00:14:13,708 --> 00:14:17,378
Well, I suppose this is as good
a spot as any for an ending.
285
00:14:17,378 --> 00:14:19,714
Are you sure you wanna
go through with this?
286
00:14:19,714 --> 00:14:22,550
I'm sure, babe, and the only
thing I'm even more sure of
287
00:14:22,550 --> 00:14:25,344
is that Lisa Snart
is the prettiest,
288
00:14:25,344 --> 00:14:29,181
funniest, smartiest
doggone girl I ever saw.
289
00:14:29,181 --> 00:14:31,892
I will love you
for the rest of my life.
290
00:14:31,892 --> 00:14:36,063
And I'm not just saying that
'cause maybe there's like
five minutes left in it.
291
00:14:36,063 --> 00:14:38,524
[crying] I don't want
to kill you, Chuck.
292
00:14:38,524 --> 00:14:40,943
- [sobs]
- I know you don't, babe.
293
00:14:40,943 --> 00:14:42,695
That's what
makes it hero stuff.
294
00:14:46,615 --> 00:14:47,908
[moans]
295
00:14:47,908 --> 00:14:50,661
Now remember, I'm the only one
who can read this thing.
296
00:14:50,661 --> 00:14:53,789
If it falls into anyone
else's hands, even yours,
297
00:14:53,789 --> 00:14:56,167
It is adios universe-io.
298
00:14:58,252 --> 00:15:01,338
Words, babe!
It's starting to make words!
299
00:15:01,338 --> 00:15:04,216
Okay, let's get
this party started.
300
00:15:06,302 --> 00:15:09,638
[sighs] Chuck, it's taking
kind of a long time.
301
00:15:09,638 --> 00:15:11,599
- How's it going?
- I'm not gonna lie, babe.
302
00:15:11,599 --> 00:15:13,934
Thought this equation
would have more pictures.
303
00:15:13,934 --> 00:15:15,603
Yo, oh, darn it,
I lost my place.
304
00:15:15,603 --> 00:15:18,564
Okay, I'm just
gonna start from the top.
305
00:15:18,564 --> 00:15:20,024
[sighs]
306
00:15:22,943 --> 00:15:25,196
[grunting]
307
00:15:25,196 --> 00:15:28,407
- You've got
to read faster, babe.
- No need!
308
00:15:28,407 --> 00:15:31,160
The Anti-Life Equation
is mine now.
309
00:15:31,619 --> 00:15:32,536
Get it!
310
00:15:32,536 --> 00:15:34,705
- [slams]
- [gasps]
311
00:15:34,705 --> 00:15:37,249
[Bane] Nuh, uh, uh.
312
00:15:37,249 --> 00:15:39,710
If you want the briefcase,
you've got to go through us.
313
00:15:39,710 --> 00:15:43,297
Fuck you, Lex Luthor!
314
00:15:45,174 --> 00:15:46,675
- [explodes]
- [Lex groans]
315
00:15:47,301 --> 00:15:48,427
[Lex whistles]
316
00:15:51,055 --> 00:15:52,807
[Moe yells]
317
00:15:56,477 --> 00:15:58,562
- [Bane groans and thuds]
- [Noonan cackles]
318
00:16:00,147 --> 00:16:01,273
[Golden Glider yelps]
319
00:16:01,273 --> 00:16:02,692
[Queen of Fables yells]
320
00:16:04,235 --> 00:16:06,153
It's story time!
321
00:16:06,153 --> 00:16:08,197
[cackles] Cookie!
322
00:16:11,701 --> 00:16:13,369
[grunts] Thanks.
323
00:16:14,161 --> 00:16:16,747
[Noonan groans]
324
00:16:19,834 --> 00:16:23,462
[screaming and grunting]
325
00:16:23,462 --> 00:16:26,966
This just isn't making any...
Oh! Okay, look at that.
326
00:16:26,966 --> 00:16:29,176
Reading the dang thing
upside down.
327
00:16:29,176 --> 00:16:31,178
There we go. That's on me!
328
00:16:32,847 --> 00:16:34,682
[both grunting]
329
00:16:37,685 --> 00:16:39,228
Sweetheart,
buy me a drink first--
330
00:16:39,228 --> 00:16:40,813
- [electricity crackling]
- [Sixpack yelps]
331
00:16:41,772 --> 00:16:43,816
[Toyman cackles]
332
00:16:47,153 --> 00:16:48,446
Evil Fairy Godmother?
333
00:16:48,446 --> 00:16:50,364
Give 'em a happily ever after.
334
00:16:52,241 --> 00:16:53,492
[men scream]
335
00:16:54,827 --> 00:16:58,456
- [electricity crackling]
- [men yelling]
336
00:17:01,042 --> 00:17:02,543
Wow! Circle of life.
337
00:17:07,298 --> 00:17:09,050
[all laughing]
338
00:17:09,050 --> 00:17:11,218
- [exploding]
- [groans]
339
00:17:13,721 --> 00:17:16,807
[Ominous Choir chanting]
♪ Darkseid! It's Darkseid! ♪
340
00:17:16,807 --> 00:17:20,478
♪ You're totally screwed now
'Cause it's Darkseid!
341
00:17:20,478 --> 00:17:24,148
Finally!
The Anti-Life Equation is mine!
342
00:17:24,148 --> 00:17:26,359
Malice, you sold us out?
343
00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:29,528
Only because
I didn't want you to die. Okay?
344
00:17:29,528 --> 00:17:31,238
It was a...
What do you call it?
345
00:17:31,238 --> 00:17:32,573
A Sally's choice!
346
00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:34,241
Yeah!
347
00:17:34,241 --> 00:17:36,577
[Ominous Choir chants]
♪ Uh-oh he won't like that! ♪
348
00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:39,580
Keep reading, Kite Man!
We can't hold him for long!
349
00:17:44,126 --> 00:17:46,796
[Ominous Choir chants]
♪ He'll kill you all
Just give up! ♪
350
00:17:51,675 --> 00:17:53,260
[Ominous Choir chants]
♪ Told ya! ♪
351
00:17:55,846 --> 00:17:56,889
Almost there!
352
00:17:56,889 --> 00:17:59,725
[screaming]
353
00:18:00,976 --> 00:18:03,270
No! No! [groans]
354
00:18:03,270 --> 00:18:06,941
[sobs] Shit!
I don't wanna kill you, Chuck!
355
00:18:06,941 --> 00:18:08,275
Don't make me do this!
356
00:18:11,237 --> 00:18:12,738
[grunts]
357
00:18:14,281 --> 00:18:17,868
[Golden Glider screaming]
358
00:18:18,744 --> 00:18:20,579
Ah! [yelps]
359
00:18:21,372 --> 00:18:23,833
No. [sobbing] No.
360
00:18:24,875 --> 00:18:27,169
[Kite Man screaming]
361
00:18:34,510 --> 00:18:36,929
[Golden Glider] Babe, hurry.
362
00:18:38,848 --> 00:18:40,683
[Ominous Choir]
♪ Rebecca Chen? ♪
363
00:18:40,683 --> 00:18:42,393
- Mom?
- Oh, hi!
364
00:18:42,393 --> 00:18:45,187
I traveled through time
when I heard you were
messed up in this.
365
00:18:45,187 --> 00:18:46,856
Don't say I never did
anything for you.
366
00:18:46,856 --> 00:18:48,649
[Ominous Choir]
♪ Aw! Sweet! ♪
367
00:18:50,317 --> 00:18:52,403
[Kite Man screaming]
368
00:18:52,403 --> 00:18:53,863
[Rebecca Chen] Gotcha!
369
00:18:58,284 --> 00:19:00,244
Get that fairy tale book!
370
00:19:03,956 --> 00:19:06,792
- [Darkseid growls] Give me
that book!
- Bane! Bane! Here!
371
00:19:08,836 --> 00:19:13,090
- Over here!
Throw me that book!
- I'm afraid I can't do that.
372
00:19:13,090 --> 00:19:14,842
Martian Manhunter?
373
00:19:14,842 --> 00:19:16,135
Well, fuck!
374
00:19:16,135 --> 00:19:19,680
Not today, Darkseid. Kite Man
and Golden Glider,
375
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:23,267
your bravery
has neutralized the threat.
376
00:19:23,267 --> 00:19:24,351
Good job.
377
00:19:24,351 --> 00:19:27,021
I'll take it from here.
378
00:19:27,021 --> 00:19:28,773
What the...
That motherfucker took my book!
379
00:19:28,773 --> 00:19:31,150
Martian motherfucking
Manhunter.
380
00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:32,693
There, there, Lex.
381
00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:35,654
There'll be other most powerful
weapons in the universe.
382
00:19:37,198 --> 00:19:38,741
Chuck, babe,
383
00:19:38,741 --> 00:19:41,994
oh, I'm so glad
you're not dead.
384
00:19:41,994 --> 00:19:44,330
Phew, me too, babe.
385
00:19:44,330 --> 00:19:47,291
Wow. Gus really
came through for us.
386
00:19:47,291 --> 00:19:50,044
Who would've guessed he was
a shape-shifting superhero?
387
00:19:50,044 --> 00:19:51,670
Who thinks my name is Nooman.
388
00:19:51,670 --> 00:19:54,090
You dumb shits.
He was just pretending
to be Gus.
389
00:19:54,090 --> 00:19:57,843
You know what?
He's got that look
and voice down for sure.
390
00:19:57,843 --> 00:19:59,220
[grunts]
391
00:19:59,220 --> 00:20:00,805
I was so close.
392
00:20:00,805 --> 00:20:04,141
Okay. Now, Lord Darkseid,
I know you're pretty steamed--
393
00:20:04,141 --> 00:20:07,186
But the good news is,
I think
394
00:20:07,186 --> 00:20:09,563
there's one fella
who can help us now.
395
00:20:09,563 --> 00:20:13,609
- And his name is-
- Lee Trevino.
396
00:20:13,609 --> 00:20:15,778
Hello, friend. [chuckles]
397
00:20:15,778 --> 00:20:19,990
So, god-daddy,
about the little fib,
398
00:20:19,990 --> 00:20:23,661
- I was only trying to--
- It's okay, Malice.
399
00:20:23,661 --> 00:20:27,123
- You come by evil. Honestly.
- Great. Thanks.
400
00:20:27,123 --> 00:20:29,750
And now that Martian Manhunter
has the briefcase,
401
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:33,421
I'll have to spend another
millennium looking for it.
402
00:20:33,421 --> 00:20:36,590
So how long you think Gus
was Martian Manhunter?
403
00:20:36,590 --> 00:20:39,176
I'd say about eight hours.
404
00:20:39,176 --> 00:20:40,761
Good thing
somebody was smart enough
405
00:20:40,761 --> 00:20:42,805
to take that
game piece off the board.
406
00:20:42,805 --> 00:20:46,183
Hey, Noonan, hey, all,
sorry that I've been gone.
407
00:20:46,183 --> 00:20:49,645
Got called in for a shift
at the old fulfillment center.
408
00:20:49,645 --> 00:20:53,107
Working hard or hardly working.
[chuckling] Am I right?
409
00:20:53,107 --> 00:20:55,026
I think I prefer the other guy.
410
00:20:55,026 --> 00:20:58,612
[sighs] Never thought a beer
could taste so sweet.
411
00:20:58,612 --> 00:21:00,740
- I wasn't gonna do it, Chuck.
- What?
412
00:21:00,740 --> 00:21:02,074
Kill you.
413
00:21:02,074 --> 00:21:04,535
I know I said I would,
but I also knew I couldn't.
414
00:21:04,535 --> 00:21:05,870
But babe,
what were you gonna do
415
00:21:05,870 --> 00:21:07,621
once I finished
reading the thing?
416
00:21:07,621 --> 00:21:10,166
I was still working on that
when my mom showed up.
417
00:21:10,166 --> 00:21:12,001
Why do you think she did it?
418
00:21:12,001 --> 00:21:14,962
To save me or to get
the Anti-Life Equation?
419
00:21:14,962 --> 00:21:18,924
Well, if I had to wager,
I'd put everything on
420
00:21:18,924 --> 00:21:22,261
to save you
because she loves you.
421
00:21:22,261 --> 00:21:24,055
Yeah, She loves me.
422
00:21:24,055 --> 00:21:26,474
Yeah. I can't think
of any other reason.
423
00:21:35,608 --> 00:21:37,109
[Rebecca Chen cackles]
424
00:21:37,109 --> 00:21:41,113
We have worlds to destroy
my fairy tale demons.
425
00:21:41,113 --> 00:21:44,575
- Are you with me,
Gingerbread Man?
- Ya!
426
00:21:44,575 --> 00:21:46,869
Are you all with me?
427
00:21:46,869 --> 00:21:48,621
[all cheering]
428
00:21:48,621 --> 00:21:51,457
Then let us begin.
429
00:21:51,457 --> 00:21:54,585
[laughs maliciously]
430
00:22:02,968 --> 00:22:06,430
Ah! There's something
about a man and a kite.
431
00:22:11,894 --> 00:22:14,271
- Can I ask you something?
- Anything, babe.
432
00:22:14,271 --> 00:22:16,482
The equation. What did it say?
433
00:22:16,482 --> 00:22:19,068
It said blue skies ahead.
434
00:22:19,068 --> 00:22:21,070
Aw, love that.
435
00:22:21,070 --> 00:22:22,238
And love you.
436
00:22:22,238 --> 00:22:23,447
Hell, yeah!
437
00:22:35,418 --> 00:22:38,796
[Ominous Choir chants]
♪ End of season one! ♪
438
00:22:39,505 --> 00:22:41,215
[theme music playing]
439
00:22:41,215 --> 00:22:46,215
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440
00:22:41,215 --> 00:22:51,215
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