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1
00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:06,089
Just having to double with
the fact that it's private.
2
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:13,472
It doesn't make sense that way,
like, I... I have it.
3
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:15,015
- Know what I mean?
- You should get it. No, exactly...
4
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:16,683
You know, I'm nervous
they made me do it, but...
5
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,031
Okay, two, 11, 24, you can go home.
6
00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:32,491
- What?
- Thanks.
7
00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:34,242
All right, everybody else again,
from the top!
8
00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:35,702
No!
9
00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:38,413
What is going on?
10
00:00:38,664 --> 00:00:39,706
Auditions.
11
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,250
Every year I hire performers
to dress as Christmas elves
12
00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:44,711
and they hand deliver
my holiday party invitations.
13
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,964
- How cute is that?
- You can't do that anymore.
14
00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:49,174
It's really offensive.
15
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:51,176
These are working actors.
16
00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:52,636
This is a legitimate gig.
17
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,096
I pay double the SAG rate!
18
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:55,430
It's still wrong.
19
00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:56,932
Why?
20
00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:59,476
Because... I...
21
00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:01,687
I don't know. I just woke up.
22
00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:03,188
Can I have some time
to think about it?
23
00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:05,732
Sure. You take your breakfast
to figure it out
24
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:08,026
and if you can't, I never wanna hear
about it ever again.
25
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,195
Okay, everybody, from the top!
26
00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:16,743
Five, six, five, six, seven, eight.
27
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:22,165
Get those shoulders down.
28
00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:23,792
All right.
29
00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:26,461
Snap! Think Fosse, snap!
30
00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:34,886
Let's go, Deborah!
31
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:36,263
You got it.
32
00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:37,723
Oh, she's outta there!
33
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,433
Okay, we've got Walt McCarthy.
34
00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:41,893
Owns 15 affiliate stations
in Missouri.
35
00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:43,353
Conversation topics include
36
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:47,024
toasted ravioli, doomsday prepping,
and Cardinals baseball.
37
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,859
McCarthy, Missouri.
McCarthy, Missouri.
38
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,193
Okay. Got it.
39
00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:53,864
Next up, we have Cort Moreau.
40
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:56,700
Affiliates in Wisconsin
and Southern Illinois.
41
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,660
Six kids, three cats.
42
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,370
Smelly house.
43
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,335
Are you sure you should be
golfing with your ankle?
44
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:07,961
Can't you just MC?
45
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,213
The whole reason I took this MC gig
46
00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:11,840
was to have as much
face time as possible
47
00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:14,009
with all the affiliate owners
who are playing the tournament.
48
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:17,220
They have a huge impact on who
the network picks as the next host.
49
00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:20,098
I have to charm them
with personalized small talk.
50
00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:21,433
And golf humor.
51
00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:24,269
By the way,
I need ten tasteful hole jokes.
52
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:25,854
Card me.
53
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,230
Marty Ghilain.
54
00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:28,649
From the Palmetto?
55
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,484
He owns an affiliate in Carson City.
56
00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:32,361
His third wife wanted to be
a weather girl.
57
00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:33,862
She was actually pretty good.
58
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,990
Don't judge a book by
her giant fake tits.
59
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:40,661
Bellissima.
60
00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:50,504
Gender reveal parties
are literally disgusting.
61
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,381
I'm surprised DJ invited you.
62
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:53,715
I asked if I could come.
63
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,593
Ladies and gentlemen!
64
00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:59,763
Straight out of Las Vegas, Nevada.
65
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,139
Please welcome
66
00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:06,395
DJ "The Love of my Life" Vance!
67
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,403
Oh, yes!
68
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,488
- It's a boy!
- Boy.
69
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,409
Oh, Aidan, congratulations.
70
00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:22,661
Mom, can you please say hi
to my family real fast.
71
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,079
- Yeah! Sure! Oh! Of course.
- They're watching virtually.
72
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:27,040
Of course.
Yes, of course. Absolutely.
73
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,793
Hi! Linda McClellan.
74
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:32,087
- That's my aunt.
- Aunt Linda, hi!
75
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,296
How are you?
76
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:36,925
And Kathy V. Who's Kathy V.?
77
00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:39,011
That's... that's Aunt Kathy.
78
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:42,347
- Mom!
- What?
79
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:44,099
Look, I get that
this is super awkward
80
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:45,475
and she's the devil or whatever
81
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,561
but I still have a relationship
with Aunt Kathy.
82
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:50,188
And I want her to have
a relationship with my son.
83
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,191
It's a boy.
84
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,318
Oh, god, all of his friends
are gonna think I'm hot
85
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,778
and that might be weird for him.
86
00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:59,281
- Whatever, we'll work through it.
- What do you want me to say?
87
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,075
I didn't really
wanna bring it up here
88
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:04,661
but I would like
to invite her for Christmas.
89
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:05,996
Oh, you're insane.
90
00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:07,539
Christmas is my holiday.
91
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:08,790
She can have...
92
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:11,543
- 9-11.
- We're the only family she has left.
93
00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,628
She doesn't have any kids.
She's all alone.
94
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,255
Yeah, well,
if she wants to talk to someone
95
00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:16,923
she can take a lap around the mall.
96
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,843
- The answer is no.
- Okay, whatever.
97
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,220
That powder is most definitely toxic,
and it's in my throat.
98
00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:27,893
Good, girl.
99
00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:39,029
Yeah, yeah, take care of it.
100
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,076
Thank you.
101
00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:45,243
Can I help you with that, ma'am?
102
00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:46,995
Oh, that's okay.
I can carry it. Thank you.
103
00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:49,664
Hey! I know you!
104
00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:53,835
And I know you, Carter Walsh,
the Comms King of Kansas!
105
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,129
Hope you brought me some
of that brown bread frozen custard
106
00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:58,423
- my friend.
- Oh, it's gonna be a fun weekend!
107
00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:00,467
- Oh, you know it!
- Can't wait to see you MC!
108
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,177
Oh! Rock chalk, Jayhawk!
109
00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:04,638
Hey!
110
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,558
But I'll never get laser hair removal
111
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:09,685
'cause it's impossible to know
112
00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:12,562
where the culture's ultimately
gonna land on hairy pits.
113
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,356
- Like in 2011
- Oh, my god.
114
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:16,983
- What?
- Bob Lipka is here!
115
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:18,985
He must be playing in the tournament.
116
00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:20,821
- Who's that?
- He's the CEO
117
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,739
of the conglomerate
that owns the network.
118
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,659
He's the most important voice
in picking the next host.
119
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,202
This is perfect.
120
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:29,788
So, there's a rich guy here
who you wanna suck up to more
121
00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:31,123
than the other rich guys?
122
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,959
Whatever.
Billionaires shouldn't exist.
123
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,044
I used to have a pin
on my jean jacket that said that.
124
00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:37,170
Oh, yes.
125
00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:40,257
Extremely successful, high-achieving
people must be stopped.
126
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,176
Well, they have no regard for
the livelihood of the working class.
127
00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:46,805
Bob Lipka and his wife
are huge philanthropists.
128
00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:48,640
They give tons of money
to the Democrats.
129
00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:52,102
Whatever. Philanthropy's just
a fancy word for tax evasion.
130
00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:54,021
But we'll take the money.
131
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:56,857
He's even better looking in person.
132
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,191
Can I get you ladies anything else?
133
00:05:58,608 --> 00:05:59,901
Oh, I would love another coffee.
134
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,862
No, she wouldn't.
Just the check please.
135
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:03,196
Sure.
136
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,241
We got two hours
before your tee time!
137
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:09,244
You never waited tables, did you?
138
00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:12,122
I was a hostess at
Joe's American Bar and Grill
139
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,290
at the South Shore Plaza
140
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:17,294
but I was fired after one shift
for being too openly depressed.
141
00:06:17,753 --> 00:06:19,379
You like to say
you're a woman of the people
142
00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:20,964
but you've never actually been one.
143
00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:22,758
If we park at this table
144
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:24,259
our waitress
will not be able to turn it over
145
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,594
before the end
of the breakfast shift.
146
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,888
- Well, I
- Nah, yeah, you tried
147
00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:29,264
to take work away
from the little people
148
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,349
who deliver
my Christmas party invitations.
149
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:32,893
You wouldn't let the bellman
carry your bags
150
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,103
and he probably lives on his tips.
151
00:06:35,187 --> 00:06:36,229
And now this.
152
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,647
Oh, god.
153
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:40,609
I think you're right.
Let's go! Let's go!
154
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,779
- I gotta clean my room!
- All right.
155
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,947
Peter! Aren't those eggs fluffy?
156
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:47,282
Go Padres!
157
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,752
- Hey, you ready to get out there?
- I am.
158
00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:01,421
I have a request about our group.
159
00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:03,173
Way ahead of you on that one, Deb.
160
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,549
I already asked them
to put us together.
161
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,343
Oh, I didn't mean you, but hi.
162
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,677
Hi!
163
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:13,392
Anyway, if you could put Bob Lipka
in our foursome
164
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:14,768
I would really appreciate it.
165
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,269
Absolutely, Miss Vance.
166
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:17,729
I'm gonna go stretch.
167
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:19,147
- I'll see you out there?
- Okay.
168
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,318
Henry Morgan!
169
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:25,153
It's actually Morgan Henry.
170
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:28,198
No, I... I know that.
I'm just a little bit dyslexic.
171
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:29,950
Hey! Go Tarpons!
172
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,077
But we've gotta get you guys
a major league team!
173
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,703
Oh, but you know,
we have one actually.
174
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:34,830
It's The Rays.
175
00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:36,164
You could always use two.
176
00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:40,460
Right, okay. Well have a great time.
177
00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:41,712
Yeah.
178
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:42,838
Oh, my god.
179
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,965
Okay, I'm gonna head to my room
to work on your speech.
180
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:47,634
I cannot concentrate
with all your jock energy.
181
00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:50,137
- No. You're gonna be my caddy.
- What?
182
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:51,722
You're gonna come and drill me
on those flashcards.
183
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,306
That can't happen again.
184
00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:55,100
Okay. I'll do it.
185
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:57,644
- Really?
- Yep.
186
00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,187
You don't want to
just go back and forth
187
00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:01,148
back and forth about it
for a while and then finally cave?
188
00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:02,482
Nope, I accept.
189
00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,985
You're right. I haven't had a job
in the service industry
190
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:07,237
and this will give me
some good time in a support role.
191
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,990
You are gonna be shocked
at how "of the people" I am.
192
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,450
Yeah, we'll see about that.
193
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,785
- You're soft.
- I am not!
194
00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:15,704
You put sunscreen on your hair part.
195
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,583
My doctor says I have to!
196
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,252
Also, you have to buy me
golf clothes!
197
00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:57,496
Sorry.
198
00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:03,877
N-No, this... this one...
Don't...
199
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,253
Get that sock off for you!
200
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:06,713
Okay
201
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,590
You are good. Go ahead, girl.
202
00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:11,676
Oh, Theo!
203
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:13,470
Gorgeous shot!
204
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,305
Love that belt, by the way.
205
00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,182
I see what you're up to this weekend.
206
00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:18,642
Very shrewd.
207
00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:20,352
Just here to beat you at golf.
208
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:22,646
So, how's the French whore?
209
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,065
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I mean... your lovely fiancรฉe.
210
00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:26,566
She's good, good.
211
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,277
We got a house in France,
and she spends the summer there.
212
00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:32,197
- She's there now?
- Yeah.
213
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:37,244
You know, late spring through
September, October, November.
214
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:38,870
Long summers in France.
215
00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,372
That's why the reception's
gonna be held in
216
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:41,498
Quick
217
00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:42,874
It's Bob Lipka.
218
00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:44,126
Do I have anything in my teeth?
219
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:45,585
Don't look! Check my teeth.
220
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:47,671
- No. Yeah.
- Am I good? Okay.
221
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:50,173
Deborah Vance, the one and only!
222
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:51,675
- Bob Lipka.
- Bob Lipka!
223
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,009
Yeah, I'm a big fan.
224
00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:55,387
- Thank you. Of my comedy?
- Yeah.
225
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:56,721
Of your everything.
226
00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,433
Hey, Bob.
227
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:00,892
Marty! How you doin'?
228
00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:02,310
- It's good to see you, man.
- It's gonna be fun today.
229
00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:03,645
Yeah.
230
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:07,941
It feels like 5mph over here.
231
00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:10,360
Well, we're starting
downwind today, so...
232
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:14,531
Yeah, I think
north is in that direction.
233
00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:17,576
Could be wrong. Hey, I'm Ava!
234
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,494
I'm just filling in as caddie today.
235
00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:22,289
So I might be leaning
on you for some advice.
236
00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:25,667
But yeah, ready to carry some clubs!
237
00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:26,877
You don't really carry them.
238
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,171
You put them in the back of the cart.
239
00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:34,342
Seems like the cart is the caddy
240
00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:36,386
and we're just doing theater but...
241
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,721
that's cool. That's cool.
242
00:10:37,888 --> 00:10:39,806
Also, your vest is on backwards.
243
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,393
I like it like that.
244
00:10:43,769 --> 00:10:46,855
Balenciaga. You know, it's fashion.
245
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:48,940
You golfed, I assume,
when you were there.
246
00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,650
I did. We golfed...
I think I golfed two days
247
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:52,194
- Oh, my gosh.
- Course is great
248
00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:53,862
We're here for the kids, but...
249
00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:56,156
sure feels good
to hit a good one, huh?
250
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:57,532
What?
251
00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:59,075
Oh, yeah, we missed it, sorry.
252
00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,036
Sorry. Oh! You're up.
253
00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:02,370
All right.
254
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,212
Nice distance on that one, Bob.
255
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:12,547
- Thanks, Deborah.
- Not as far as mine, though.
256
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,633
You're up.
257
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:16,093
Oh, gosh All right.
258
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:18,678
Good poke.
259
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,850
You have a really buoyant form,
Deborah.
260
00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:26,937
Hey, don't be afraid
to deepen that shoulder tilt.
261
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,648
Oh, right. Thank you.
That's really good advice.
262
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,316
I'll try not to be too afraid!
263
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,569
Yeah, she's really timid.
264
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:39,741
Nice!
265
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:42,160
It was terrible!
266
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:44,955
Bob, you gotta give me
some more pointers.
267
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,540
- All right.
- No, that was really helpful
268
00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:47,874
- I don't have that many.
- Thank you.
269
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,459
Okay.
270
00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:53,755
Okay, that was solid,
but on the next one
271
00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:55,340
you're gonna wanna avoid the slope.
272
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:59,177
Or maybe you wanna aim
for the slope so the ball rolls?
273
00:11:59,261 --> 00:12:01,513
You definitely wanna do something
with the slope.
274
00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:04,391
The slope is a huge part
of our lives right now.
275
00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:06,184
- Flashcards.
- Right, right.
276
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,812
All right, okay go for it.
277
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:11,022
Oh, I know this one.
278
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:13,191
Flat-Earther, loves boats
279
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,444
allegations against the son.
280
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:19,072
- Barry Plutz!
- Correct.
281
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,495
Miss, that's the men's tee.
282
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,622
The women's tee's further up.
283
00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:29,291
Fuck that.
284
00:12:33,044 --> 00:12:34,379
- Damn.
- Nice.
285
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:37,799
Sorry.
286
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,057
I'm in love.
287
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,352
Can I use the woman's tee?
288
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:55,776
Hi!
289
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,069
Come on, come on!
Let's work this room.
290
00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:01,198
Hey, Mr. Kurian Depaar!
291
00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,660
I love your politics, cheers!
292
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,162
Interesting stuff.
293
00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:09,372
Don't tell anyone,
but you're my favorite.
294
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:10,624
I'm so glad!
295
00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:12,542
Can I offer you ladies cigars?
296
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:14,377
- Oh, we don't really
- We'd love to!
297
00:13:15,504 --> 00:13:16,755
Light 'em up!
298
00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:19,800
You are funnier than Seinfeld!
299
00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:22,552
That's a birthday video
for your grandniece?
300
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:24,304
Oh, sure! Give me your phone!
301
00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:27,057
Tell you what. I'm rootin' for you.
302
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,391
Well, I like the sound of that.
303
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,021
It's a good one.
304
00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:49,079
And... and don't think I haven't
heard about your ski trips!
305
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,497
- What?
- What?
306
00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,916
Renting out
an entire floor in Gstaad?
307
00:13:53,125 --> 00:13:55,001
I couldn't decide
which view I wanted!
308
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:56,962
Seriously!
309
00:13:58,088 --> 00:13:59,214
Also, a little birdie told me
310
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:01,633
that you are on the Alumni Board
at Dartmouth?
311
00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:02,968
I sure am.
312
00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:04,636
We were just there
for Parents' Weekend.
313
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:07,097
The foliage this year was stunning.
314
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,432
Well, maybe you can put in
a good word for my grandson?
315
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,852
Oh, I see, ulterior motives.
316
00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:14,396
- How old?
- He's due in about 20 weeks.
317
00:14:16,148 --> 00:14:17,607
Can't start too soon, right?
318
00:14:19,151 --> 00:14:21,236
- It's for the kids.
- I'll do an interview.
319
00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:23,989
For the kids!
320
00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:28,660
What are you doing?
321
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:31,037
Lookin' for that gorgeous
golf queen from yesterday!
322
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,790
She's behind us today, dummy.
323
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,044
Good lookin' out, boss.
324
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,469
There you go!
325
00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:47,220
Not bad!
326
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,181
Well, thanks to you!
327
00:14:50,474 --> 00:14:52,934
I remember you being
a better player than this.
328
00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:55,687
I don't know
what you're talking about.
329
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,190
Hey, Caddie Girl!
330
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,901
You gonna clean up
that divot your golfer made?
331
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,612
Oh, yeah. Def.
332
00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:08,158
This divot officially needs
to be redivoted.
333
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,368
Here.
334
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:13,663
Get on your knees.
335
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:25,800
That's it.
336
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,137
All right. All right.
Calm down. Calm down.
337
00:15:29,221 --> 00:15:30,847
All right. Back to business!
338
00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:32,349
Our next auction item
339
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:36,436
is a weekend of pampering
at the Canyon Ranch Spa.
340
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:38,605
I love that place.
341
00:15:38,814 --> 00:15:40,065
As an added bonus
342
00:15:40,232 --> 00:15:42,859
I lost an emerald earring in their
saltwater plunge pool last August.
343
00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:46,154
If you can find it, this package
is worth an extra 11 grand.
344
00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:48,573
Give her a show!
345
00:15:49,324 --> 00:15:51,743
Let's start the bidding off at 2,000.
346
00:15:51,827 --> 00:15:53,620
- Anybody 2,000, 2,000.
- Two thousand, here!
347
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:55,622
Two thousand, this table right here,
this gentleman.
348
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:57,332
Wow! Your own plane.
349
00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,292
I could fly you to Turks and Caicos
350
00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:02,671
and from there, you could go
wherever you needed to go.
351
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:04,005
What an offer.
352
00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:05,715
Deborah! Hi!
353
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:08,552
Hi. Glenn! How you doin'?
354
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:09,678
Good to see you!
355
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:10,804
Have you seen Bob?
356
00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:12,681
He hasn't bid on anything.
I'm afraid I offended him
357
00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:15,308
when I did that bit eviscerating
the Michelin star system.
358
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,060
I knew that was too edgy
for this crowd.
359
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,396
I saw him sneak out
after you auctioned off the safari.
360
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,398
Was that a low-key rhino hunt?
361
00:16:21,857 --> 00:16:23,567
No. Yeah. Maybe.
362
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:24,901
Don't go!
363
00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:27,988
You have gorgeous hips.
364
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,584
I can, too.
365
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:42,460
- Hi. Thank you.
- 1896 Dom Pรฉrignon.
366
00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:44,546
- That's great. Great.
- Yeah. Were you celebrating?
367
00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:45,881
Yeah.
368
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:01,730
Deborah.
369
00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:03,231
Come here often?
370
00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:06,109
Two stand-up comedians
running into each other
371
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:08,111
at a golf club in Nevada.
372
00:17:08,195 --> 00:17:09,446
You must be like, "What?"
373
00:17:09,946 --> 00:17:12,240
I... I just...
I flew up briefly for a...
374
00:17:12,324 --> 00:17:13,575
A meeting?
375
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:15,744
Looked like it went well.
376
00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:18,497
It did, yeah.
377
00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:20,373
I didn't realize you saw.
378
00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:22,959
You know what?
I'm glad I ran into you
379
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:26,213
because I just... I wanna say
I hope there's no hard feelings.
380
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:29,674
And it would mean a lot
if you were one of my first guests.
381
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,511
You're welcome anytime.
382
00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:39,309
All right. Well
383
00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:41,394
I'll leave you to it.
384
00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:52,739
Black on black!
385
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:54,074
Billy Jean King.
386
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:55,784
It's not not working.
387
00:17:57,619 --> 00:17:58,870
I'm not getting Late Night.
388
00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:01,373
What? What happened?
389
00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:03,875
I saw Bob Lipka
meeting with Jack Danby.
390
00:18:03,959 --> 00:18:06,044
- He got the job.
- Well, that's bullshit.
391
00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:09,172
All right, so what's our game plan?
392
00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:10,298
Nothing.
393
00:18:10,382 --> 00:18:12,008
I'll pay you for your whole hiatus.
394
00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:13,385
You can go back to LA
whenever you want.
395
00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:15,262
No, we're... we're not gonna give up.
396
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:16,596
It's happening.
397
00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:19,474
And of course, it is.
398
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,977
It was stupid of me
to even think I had a chance.
399
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:33,905
- Deborah.
- I don't wanna talk about it.
400
00:19:19,743 --> 00:19:21,411
You might wanna loosen
that grip a bit.
401
00:19:27,459 --> 00:19:28,835
There she is!
402
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:49,648
I'll have a Corona, please.
403
00:19:50,732 --> 00:19:52,192
Hey, Deborah,
can I buy you a cocktail?
404
00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:54,402
I'll have a Gatorade Zero.
405
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,279
Yellow.
406
00:19:58,031 --> 00:19:59,282
Thank you.
407
00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:03,286
Thanks. Keep the change.
408
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:15,090
Tell you what, you are lookin'
real confident with that nine iron.
409
00:20:15,549 --> 00:20:18,510
You know,
you are just gettin' it done...
410
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,387
Hey! Deborah! Deborah!
411
00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:21,721
I'm not I'm not in yet!
412
00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:23,181
I'm Deborah!
413
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:35,402
Nice shot.
414
00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:37,737
Would you get my ball?
415
00:20:46,580 --> 00:20:48,498
You wanna go to the restaurant,
get something to eat?
416
00:20:49,207 --> 00:20:50,584
I think I just wanna be alone.
417
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:03,513
Hey.
418
00:21:03,597 --> 00:21:04,639
Hey.
419
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,016
Mind if I sit?
420
00:21:06,141 --> 00:21:07,517
- Sure.
- Thanks.
421
00:21:09,394 --> 00:21:11,021
You're a white wine girl, huh?
422
00:21:11,897 --> 00:21:15,942
Not usually,
but I wanted to try this.
423
00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:18,486
It's Cameron Diaz's company.
424
00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:19,988
Oh, good for her.
425
00:21:20,071 --> 00:21:21,323
Is it good?
426
00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:23,325
That's what I've been wondering.
427
00:21:24,910 --> 00:21:26,161
What do you mean?
428
00:21:26,369 --> 00:21:31,207
Like, isn't it bad that the goal
for actors now is to, like
429
00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:35,503
be good at art so you can sell
CBD lip balm, or whatever?
430
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:37,964
But then again,
actresses have historically
431
00:21:38,048 --> 00:21:39,341
had their image monetized
432
00:21:39,424 --> 00:21:41,593
without any control over
how that image was used.
433
00:21:41,676 --> 00:21:44,804
So maybe, if this gives them
more power and agency
434
00:21:45,013 --> 00:21:46,640
- it's a good thing?
- Great!
435
00:21:46,723 --> 00:21:47,974
But then again
436
00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:52,395
doesn't capitalism only ultimately
benefit evil, rich white men
437
00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:54,689
regardless of who heads
any one company?
438
00:21:54,773 --> 00:21:55,982
- So maybe it's bad.
- Well
439
00:21:56,066 --> 00:21:58,276
But also, who am I to judge?
440
00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,654
I work for
a giant media conglomerate.
441
00:22:01,529 --> 00:22:03,240
I'm just gonna go live in the woods.
442
00:22:04,199 --> 00:22:05,450
On stolen land?
443
00:22:08,286 --> 00:22:09,621
Oh, god.
444
00:22:10,205 --> 00:22:11,456
You talk about this stuff a lot?
445
00:22:11,790 --> 00:22:13,041
It comes up.
446
00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:15,085
And she keeps you around?
447
00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:16,836
She must really like you.
448
00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:20,090
Yeah.
449
00:22:23,927 --> 00:22:25,929
She found out
she didn't get the hosting gig.
450
00:22:26,596 --> 00:22:27,847
She's really upset.
451
00:22:28,890 --> 00:22:30,308
That's what today was about.
452
00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:34,896
Well, it's disappointing,
but she'll be all right.
453
00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:36,314
I hope so.
454
00:22:36,690 --> 00:22:37,983
I've known her a long time
455
00:22:38,066 --> 00:22:41,319
and over these past couple years,
she's really changed.
456
00:22:41,736 --> 00:22:44,406
And I'm pretty sure that's right
about the time you showed up, kid.
457
00:22:46,408 --> 00:22:47,659
Thank you for saying that.
458
00:22:48,535 --> 00:22:51,871
Even though calling me "kid"
is incredibly infantilizing
459
00:22:51,955 --> 00:22:53,206
it's also charming.
460
00:23:00,463 --> 00:23:01,715
Merde.
461
00:23:02,507 --> 00:23:04,718
I gotta FaceTime
with a French wedding florist.
462
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:07,971
Au revoir.
463
00:23:15,812 --> 00:23:18,523
I don't think caddies
are allowed to drink up here.
464
00:23:21,151 --> 00:23:23,069
Sorry. I guess I'll leave.
465
00:23:23,570 --> 00:23:24,821
I think you should.
466
00:23:27,991 --> 00:23:29,826
And I think you should come
to my room.
467
00:24:08,198 --> 00:24:09,449
Good evening.
468
00:24:10,867 --> 00:24:12,369
I thought I better
get in some practice swings
469
00:24:12,452 --> 00:24:14,412
after you destroyed me
on the course today.
470
00:24:16,289 --> 00:24:17,958
I had no idea you were so good.
471
00:24:19,709 --> 00:24:20,961
Nobody does.
472
00:24:24,130 --> 00:24:25,382
Where's your security?
473
00:24:25,465 --> 00:24:27,968
Oh, I put a mop and some pillows
under my blanket.
474
00:24:31,221 --> 00:24:32,472
I was kidding.
475
00:24:32,889 --> 00:24:34,140
I gave him the night off.
476
00:24:55,912 --> 00:24:57,414
Oh, yeah, you stink.
477
00:25:01,084 --> 00:25:02,127
What was that?
478
00:25:02,252 --> 00:25:04,671
I said you fucking stink.
479
00:25:06,256 --> 00:25:09,426
Did you not shower after carrying
those clubs all day, hm?
480
00:25:11,845 --> 00:25:14,598
Oh, I... I did
481
00:25:14,973 --> 00:25:16,683
I... I washed my hair even.
482
00:25:17,350 --> 00:25:18,602
No.
483
00:25:18,977 --> 00:25:21,521
I think you need a shower,
Caddie Girl.
484
00:25:25,942 --> 00:25:27,193
Hold on, sorry.
485
00:25:28,069 --> 00:25:30,363
I just wanna be clear
about one thing.
486
00:25:31,323 --> 00:25:32,866
I'm not actually a caddie.
487
00:25:33,241 --> 00:25:34,284
What?
488
00:25:34,451 --> 00:25:35,702
You were caddying.
489
00:25:37,203 --> 00:25:39,122
Oh, my god. Yeah, no.
490
00:25:39,372 --> 00:25:41,625
I... I was just filling in
for the weekend.
491
00:25:41,708 --> 00:25:43,293
I actually work full-time
as a co-producer
492
00:25:43,376 --> 00:25:45,211
on a topical comedy variety show
493
00:25:45,295 --> 00:25:46,713
which has been such a cool experience
494
00:25:46,796 --> 00:25:49,633
to use my comedy skills
to engage with real issues.
495
00:25:50,008 --> 00:25:51,051
What?
496
00:25:51,176 --> 00:25:52,427
All right.
497
00:25:52,927 --> 00:25:55,680
Hold on,
is that a dealbreaker for you?
498
00:25:55,889 --> 00:25:58,600
Yeah. This entire situation
is fucked now.
499
00:25:58,683 --> 00:26:00,101
Well, wait.
500
00:26:00,352 --> 00:26:02,854
Were you only into me
'cause I was a caddie?
501
00:26:03,104 --> 00:26:04,356
Yes.
502
00:26:05,231 --> 00:26:08,234
Okay? Is this like
some weird power thing
503
00:26:08,318 --> 00:26:09,402
where you only wanted to fuck me
504
00:26:09,486 --> 00:26:11,696
because I'm your
working-class subordinate?
505
00:26:11,780 --> 00:26:12,822
It's kinda problematic.
506
00:26:12,906 --> 00:26:16,117
Oh, god! Everything is
so "problematic" these days.
507
00:26:16,201 --> 00:26:18,536
What? Are you gonna lecture me
on inclusivity
508
00:26:18,620 --> 00:26:20,705
tell me how I can't fund fracking?
509
00:26:21,331 --> 00:26:22,832
Fra... fracking?
510
00:26:23,208 --> 00:26:24,584
Are you a Republican?
511
00:26:25,085 --> 00:26:26,127
Obviously.
512
00:26:26,211 --> 00:26:28,755
Oh, my god!
That was not on your flashcard!
513
00:26:28,838 --> 00:26:31,549
It just said you were a mother
to two German Shepherds!
514
00:26:31,633 --> 00:26:32,676
What?
515
00:26:32,759 --> 00:26:34,511
You're a gay Republican?
516
00:26:34,719 --> 00:26:35,762
How does that make sense?
517
00:26:35,845 --> 00:26:38,139
You're a co-producer
pretending to be a caddie.
518
00:26:38,348 --> 00:26:39,432
How does that make sense?
519
00:26:39,516 --> 00:26:40,558
I don't know! It doesn't!
520
00:26:40,642 --> 00:26:42,102
I was just trying to a good person
521
00:26:42,185 --> 00:26:44,396
and ethical consumption
is fucking impossible!
522
00:26:44,479 --> 00:26:45,730
Where's my shirt?
523
00:26:46,231 --> 00:26:48,900
I was really looking forward
to pissing on a caddie.
524
00:26:49,484 --> 00:26:51,820
You were not gonna piss on me!
525
00:26:52,028 --> 00:26:53,488
- Yeah, I was.
- No, you weren't!
526
00:26:53,571 --> 00:26:56,199
Yes, I was.
I was going to piss all over you!
527
00:26:56,282 --> 00:26:58,284
You weren't gonna piss on me, no!
528
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:00,328
A liberal kink shamer.
529
00:27:00,412 --> 00:27:02,205
I thought you people were
supposed to be sex positive.
530
00:27:02,289 --> 00:27:05,792
Oh, my god. I would happily
let a socialist pee on me!
531
00:27:05,917 --> 00:27:07,168
Buh-bye, lady!
532
00:27:08,211 --> 00:27:09,462
Your loss!
533
00:27:17,846 --> 00:27:20,432
You know, people are probably
afraid to tell you this
534
00:27:20,515 --> 00:27:22,684
but your swing sucks.
535
00:27:23,977 --> 00:27:25,562
- Really?
- Yeah, what do they call you?
536
00:27:25,645 --> 00:27:28,106
Oh, yeah! Slice-and-Dice Lipka.
537
00:27:28,565 --> 00:27:29,816
Now that's just mean.
538
00:27:31,735 --> 00:27:33,653
Okay. Don't hold back.
539
00:27:33,778 --> 00:27:35,196
Well, I don't know where to start.
540
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,949
I mean, you
when you address the ball
541
00:27:38,033 --> 00:27:39,951
you gotta keep your left foot
lined up with the club.
542
00:27:40,368 --> 00:27:41,828
- Which I do.
- Turn your club face a little bit.
543
00:27:41,911 --> 00:27:43,121
Turn your club face a little bit.
544
00:27:43,204 --> 00:27:44,956
- Okay.
- And keep your left arm straighter.
545
00:27:45,582 --> 00:27:46,833
All right.
546
00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:48,752
Like this?
547
00:27:48,877 --> 00:27:50,128
Yeah.
548
00:27:50,253 --> 00:27:51,504
All right.
549
00:27:55,967 --> 00:27:57,218
That was pathetic.
550
00:27:57,302 --> 00:27:58,553
Pathetic?
551
00:27:59,387 --> 00:28:01,139
Well, why don't you
come over here and show me?
552
00:28:02,140 --> 00:28:04,601
Oh, Jesus Christ,
I've gotta do everything myself.
553
00:28:04,851 --> 00:28:07,937
Okay. Remember you're not
playing fuckin' baseball!
554
00:28:10,357 --> 00:28:13,151
That's midnight. This is one o'clock.
555
00:28:13,234 --> 00:28:15,195
- You want this, okay?
- Yeah.
556
00:28:15,362 --> 00:28:17,197
- Feel that? Feel that?
- Yeah.
557
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,449
All in the form, all right?
558
00:28:19,949 --> 00:28:21,785
Turn. Head down.
559
00:28:25,288 --> 00:28:26,539
And then you turn.
560
00:28:26,915 --> 00:28:29,042
All the power comes from your hips.
Feel that?
561
00:28:29,125 --> 00:28:30,877
- Yeah, I feel it.
- All the power comes from your hips.
562
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:35,382
And then your chest...
your chest, ends up like that.
563
00:28:35,715 --> 00:28:38,551
Right, you follow
with your chest like that.
564
00:28:38,802 --> 00:28:40,053
How 'bout here?
565
00:28:42,263 --> 00:28:43,306
That works.
566
00:28:43,515 --> 00:28:44,766
Yeah.
567
00:28:45,892 --> 00:28:47,143
I think so too.
568
00:29:00,073 --> 00:29:01,449
I think you already know this
569
00:29:02,283 --> 00:29:03,994
but we made a decision
about the show.
570
00:29:04,744 --> 00:29:05,996
I know.
571
00:29:36,860 --> 00:29:38,486
You dirty diva.
572
00:29:43,033 --> 00:29:44,284
Get it Derba.
573
00:29:50,415 --> 00:29:53,084
Excusez moi, Miss Thang!
574
00:29:53,168 --> 00:29:55,253
Saw you doin'
the walk of shame this morning.
575
00:29:55,337 --> 00:29:56,588
High-five
576
00:29:57,047 --> 00:29:58,089
I don't wanna talk about it.
577
00:29:58,173 --> 00:30:00,050
Oh, come on. What happened?
578
00:30:00,508 --> 00:30:01,760
Who happened? Marty?
579
00:30:03,345 --> 00:30:05,430
Oh, no, Deborah.
Not Bill Blort from Cincinnati?
580
00:30:05,638 --> 00:30:06,890
No.
581
00:30:07,265 --> 00:30:08,516
Bob Lipka.
582
00:30:09,225 --> 00:30:11,603
Oh, shit. Nice.
583
00:30:11,686 --> 00:30:13,938
No, not nice. Mistake.
584
00:30:14,189 --> 00:30:15,607
Pack your things.
We're leaving early.
585
00:30:15,690 --> 00:30:16,775
I'm not gonna finish the tournament.
586
00:30:16,983 --> 00:30:18,234
Wait, why are you so upset?
587
00:30:18,318 --> 00:30:21,237
Oh, god!
I don't know what came over me.
588
00:30:21,738 --> 00:30:23,782
I was so mad, and I just...
589
00:30:24,282 --> 00:30:26,368
The meaner I was to him,
the more into me he was.
590
00:30:26,451 --> 00:30:28,661
I... I just got swept up.
591
00:30:28,787 --> 00:30:29,829
Makes sense.
592
00:30:29,913 --> 00:30:31,748
Half the dudes here are
probably pain pigs.
593
00:30:32,791 --> 00:30:34,793
I don't sleep with married men.
594
00:30:35,543 --> 00:30:36,795
Haven't you and Marty...
595
00:30:36,878 --> 00:30:38,880
No, never when he's been married.
596
00:30:39,839 --> 00:30:41,091
I don't get it.
597
00:30:41,299 --> 00:30:43,051
You're not exactly a rule follower.
598
00:30:43,134 --> 00:30:44,594
You care about monogamy?
599
00:30:44,678 --> 00:30:45,929
I follow rules!
600
00:30:46,012 --> 00:30:47,889
You've literally
committed voter fraud.
601
00:30:48,014 --> 00:30:49,724
You vote in Nevada and Florida.
602
00:30:49,808 --> 00:30:52,602
I... I got confused once,
and I regret ever telling you.
603
00:30:53,228 --> 00:30:54,270
Oh, I feel sick.
604
00:30:54,521 --> 00:30:56,314
You have to be kinder to yourself.
605
00:30:56,564 --> 00:30:59,734
Also, you've had a really
tough weekend. It's okay.
606
00:30:59,818 --> 00:31:01,403
I swore when this happened to me...
607
00:31:03,113 --> 00:31:04,698
I would never be the other woman.
608
00:31:05,740 --> 00:31:06,783
Okay, well
609
00:31:07,033 --> 00:31:08,118
fucking a married man once
610
00:31:08,201 --> 00:31:11,037
is not the same as
marrying your sister's husband.
611
00:31:11,121 --> 00:31:12,914
It's just not who I am.
612
00:31:13,039 --> 00:31:15,750
I get it.
It's important to have values.
613
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:17,836
But sometimes you make a mistake.
614
00:31:18,211 --> 00:31:20,964
End up in bed with an oil heiress
who wants to pee on you.
615
00:31:26,970 --> 00:31:30,473
My point is,
trying to be a good person is hell.
616
00:31:31,474 --> 00:31:32,726
But at least you're trying.
617
00:31:33,309 --> 00:31:34,436
And I don't know,
maybe it'll help you get
618
00:31:34,519 --> 00:31:36,855
like, one percent
over what happened with Kathy.
619
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:47,574
You want me to sit on your suitcase
so you can zip it?
620
00:31:48,116 --> 00:31:49,367
Yes, please.
621
00:31:49,868 --> 00:31:51,119
Okay.
622
00:31:52,037 --> 00:31:53,621
Also, what happened
to your hair, girl?
623
00:31:53,705 --> 00:31:54,956
You guys go swimmin'?
624
00:31:55,498 --> 00:31:56,750
I don't know.
625
00:31:57,125 --> 00:31:58,752
I think I made him sit in the shower.
626
00:31:58,835 --> 00:32:01,504
Oh, freak-nasty.
627
00:32:10,013 --> 00:32:11,806
- Thank you.
- No problem.
628
00:32:16,853 --> 00:32:19,564
- Kathy Vance?
- Yes?
629
00:32:19,731 --> 00:32:21,191
You are cordially invited
630
00:32:21,274 --> 00:32:25,695
to attend Deborah Vance's
Vegas Christmas Spectacular.
631
00:32:26,404 --> 00:32:27,906
My sister Deborah Vance?
632
00:32:28,490 --> 00:32:29,741
Is this a prank?
633
00:32:30,658 --> 00:32:33,244
I... I don't know.
I'm just the messenger.
634
00:32:34,537 --> 00:32:35,789
Thank you.
635
00:32:36,206 --> 00:32:37,332
Merry Christmas.
636
00:32:37,499 --> 00:32:38,750
Merry Christmas.
637
00:32:39,751 --> 00:32:41,127
Nobody tips anymore.
45050
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