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1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:01,294
Now I'm gonna have you
step on the scale.
2
00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:32,658
No, just wait...
3
00:01:00,937 --> 00:01:01,980
Okay, great.
4
00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:05,316
Nora here is just gonna
take some blood
5
00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:06,693
and then you'll be all set.
6
00:01:07,819 --> 00:01:09,070
You have to do a blood panel?
7
00:01:09,362 --> 00:01:10,864
It's standard for all physicals.
8
00:01:10,989 --> 00:01:12,866
Well, next time do it
before you weigh me!
9
00:01:14,618 --> 00:01:16,578
I am gonna refer you
to an audiologist
10
00:01:16,661 --> 00:01:18,664
because I think you may have
slight presbycusis.
11
00:01:18,747 --> 00:01:21,500
But it's normal to have
some hearing loss at your age.
12
00:01:21,792 --> 00:01:23,252
I'll have you know
I have excellent hearing.
13
00:01:23,877 --> 00:01:26,672
I overheard your nurse
in the waiting room violating HIPAA.
14
00:01:26,964 --> 00:01:28,006
Okay.
15
00:01:28,132 --> 00:01:30,134
And I'm gonna recommend you
get the pneumonia vaccine
16
00:01:30,217 --> 00:01:32,011
since you're over 65.
17
00:01:32,386 --> 00:01:33,846
Well, that's your word against mine.
18
00:01:35,347 --> 00:01:36,390
Have a nice afternoon.
19
00:01:37,474 --> 00:01:38,517
Yeah. Tough room.
20
00:01:39,059 --> 00:01:40,478
- What's that?
- Nothing.
21
00:01:41,645 --> 00:01:42,688
Okay.
22
00:01:43,981 --> 00:01:45,149
Now who's hard of hearing?
23
00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:54,617
Ladies, are you just sick to death
of your microwave being so ugly?
24
00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:57,704
Well, we found Betty here
who has cracked the code.
25
00:01:57,787 --> 00:01:59,998
The House of Vance
microwave skin collection
26
00:02:00,081 --> 00:02:02,876
now lets you use your microwave
to express yourself.
27
00:02:02,959 --> 00:02:04,002
Finally!
28
00:02:04,169 --> 00:02:06,337
No longer do you have to look
at an ugly metal box.
29
00:02:06,421 --> 00:02:07,589
For instance, this one
30
00:02:07,672 --> 00:02:11,134
is a gorgeous sunset view
of the Ponte Vecchio.
31
00:02:11,426 --> 00:02:13,845
And don't forget
these little pockets on the side.
32
00:02:14,971 --> 00:02:16,389
Oh, that's right, they have pockets.
33
00:02:16,473 --> 00:02:17,516
That's how you know it's a boy.
34
00:02:18,767 --> 00:02:20,560
And what couldn't you put in there?
35
00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:23,271
Anything larger than four by two.
36
00:02:25,899 --> 00:02:27,276
Betty, I just think you're a genius.
37
00:02:27,359 --> 00:02:28,527
How did you come up with this idea?
38
00:02:29,069 --> 00:02:31,446
Oh, well I... I used to be married
39
00:02:31,530 --> 00:02:33,407
and I always wanted to go to Paris...
40
00:02:33,490 --> 00:02:34,992
- Mr. Vaughn!
- Roy!
41
00:02:35,075 --> 00:02:36,243
- Hey!
- What are you doing down here?
42
00:02:36,368 --> 00:02:39,705
Oh, I came to see you.
House of Vance sales are fantastic.
43
00:02:39,788 --> 00:02:40,831
Congratulations!
44
00:02:40,915 --> 00:02:42,500
- We're very happy about it.
- With these numbers
45
00:02:42,583 --> 00:02:44,543
I might have to poach you
from Deborah.
46
00:02:44,627 --> 00:02:46,253
You know she owns a gun, Roy.
47
00:02:46,921 --> 00:02:47,963
She'd kneecap me in a second.
48
00:02:48,047 --> 00:02:49,715
Oh, please,
she would go straight for the groin.
49
00:02:50,633 --> 00:02:52,134
Still, think about it.
50
00:02:54,554 --> 00:02:56,305
- I will.
- Next up.
51
00:02:56,389 --> 00:02:59,100
We're gonna change the way you store
your salad dressing forever.
52
00:02:59,475 --> 00:03:00,518
Yes!
53
00:03:01,185 --> 00:03:02,478
Have we heard back from that doctor?
54
00:03:02,687 --> 00:03:04,981
Oh, I think he'll just send
the results directly to the network.
55
00:03:05,064 --> 00:03:06,274
Well, I don't trust him.
56
00:03:06,691 --> 00:03:08,067
I don't know why
I couldn't have seen my own doctor.
57
00:03:08,151 --> 00:03:09,194
He's a pushover.
58
00:03:09,527 --> 00:03:12,030
Okay. Well, you know, this is good.
59
00:03:12,113 --> 00:03:13,573
The fact that they had you do
an insurance physical
60
00:03:13,656 --> 00:03:14,699
means they're serious about you.
61
00:03:14,908 --> 00:03:16,451
Apparently, it's down to you,
Jack Danby
62
00:03:16,534 --> 00:03:19,329
and some guy who won the X Games?
I doubt he's funny.
63
00:03:19,412 --> 00:03:21,665
Well, they better have made
those guys take physicals too
64
00:03:21,873 --> 00:03:23,834
or they're gonna have
a big lawsuit on their hands.
65
00:03:23,917 --> 00:03:25,085
Yeah, you know what?
I'm gonna go ahead
66
00:03:25,168 --> 00:03:26,253
and say I think it's wise
67
00:03:26,336 --> 00:03:28,505
to not sue the network
you're hoping will hire you.
68
00:03:29,131 --> 00:03:30,632
- Fine.
- Look, this is all good!
69
00:03:30,716 --> 00:03:32,676
And you emceeing the charity event
for the affiliates
70
00:03:32,759 --> 00:03:34,344
is a genius way to curry favor.
71
00:03:34,428 --> 00:03:35,471
Just focus on that.
72
00:03:35,637 --> 00:03:38,056
Yeah, no, you're right.
No, I have to kill there.
73
00:03:38,140 --> 00:03:40,309
I have some time now,
so Ava and I are gonna work on it.
74
00:03:40,392 --> 00:03:42,561
Ava and Deborah,
my two gorgeous girls!
75
00:03:42,645 --> 00:03:44,021
I think it's okay to say that, right?
76
00:03:44,605 --> 00:03:45,648
- Goodbye, Jimmy.
- You...
77
00:03:45,731 --> 00:03:46,857
You're hanging up
because you have to go right?
78
00:03:46,941 --> 00:03:49,318
Not because I said
the gorgeous girl's thing... hello?
79
00:03:49,819 --> 00:03:50,861
Deborah?
80
00:03:52,113 --> 00:03:54,281
Fine. Everything's good.
81
00:03:55,491 --> 00:03:58,369
Okay, what do 50-year-old men
82
00:03:58,452 --> 00:04:00,621
who own TV stations,
who you need to charm
83
00:04:00,705 --> 00:04:03,916
so that they'll give you
a late-night TV show find funny?
84
00:04:05,084 --> 00:04:06,127
I don't know.
85
00:04:10,673 --> 00:04:11,841
What the hell are you doing?
86
00:04:14,219 --> 00:04:15,261
This is how I sip now.
87
00:04:15,345 --> 00:04:17,680
Don't start.
I don't like it, but you know
88
00:04:17,764 --> 00:04:19,599
I found out I've been doing it wrong
all these years.
89
00:04:20,058 --> 00:04:22,894
The traditional, pedestrian sip
causes lip lines.
90
00:04:23,728 --> 00:04:24,771
Watch.
91
00:04:25,730 --> 00:04:26,773
See?
92
00:04:26,857 --> 00:04:28,441
All that crinkling leads
to wrinkling.
93
00:04:29,234 --> 00:04:31,403
You gotta make
your upper lip almost disappear.
94
00:04:31,486 --> 00:04:32,904
That's how you know
you're doing it right. Look.
95
00:04:36,366 --> 00:04:37,659
Yeah, wrinkles are unattractive.
96
00:04:37,743 --> 00:04:39,286
Definitely keep doing it like that.
97
00:04:39,828 --> 00:04:40,871
I will.
98
00:04:47,294 --> 00:04:48,462
Oh, my god.
99
00:04:51,006 --> 00:04:52,049
What's the matter?
100
00:04:52,132 --> 00:04:53,384
Apparently Ruby packed up
all my stuff
101
00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:54,718
and wants to know where to send it.
102
00:04:54,802 --> 00:04:55,845
Have her throw it away.
103
00:04:56,178 --> 00:04:58,013
My stuff? No!
104
00:04:58,097 --> 00:05:00,516
I just want her to put it
in boxes in the garage.
105
00:05:00,599 --> 00:05:02,310
Sending it somewhere seems so final.
106
00:05:03,561 --> 00:05:04,770
Can we get back to writing jokes?
107
00:05:04,854 --> 00:05:06,022
Sorry.
108
00:05:07,106 --> 00:05:08,149
I'll be funny now.
109
00:05:12,570 --> 00:05:13,613
Hey, look.
110
00:05:14,072 --> 00:05:15,990
I have writer's block.
You have manic depression.
111
00:05:16,074 --> 00:05:18,201
How 'bout we, I don't know,
take a walk or something.
112
00:05:18,493 --> 00:05:20,203
You know, change of scenery.
113
00:05:20,912 --> 00:05:21,955
Move our bodies.
114
00:05:22,038 --> 00:05:24,040
Yes. I love that idea.
115
00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:26,042
There are so many amazing trails
around here.
116
00:05:26,835 --> 00:05:28,795
No, I was thinking of more like
a walk around an outlet mall
117
00:05:28,878 --> 00:05:31,756
- with a Gucci.
- No, please.
118
00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:34,176
We're in the middle
of gorgeous Pennsylvania forestry.
119
00:05:34,259 --> 00:05:36,428
It's like Twilight out there.
Kristen Stewart.
120
00:05:37,387 --> 00:05:39,556
Unless you can't handle a hike.
121
00:05:40,515 --> 00:05:41,558
Let's do it.
122
00:05:41,934 --> 00:05:44,353
Yeah! I get to wear my thick socks.
123
00:05:44,603 --> 00:05:45,646
Yippee.
124
00:05:50,192 --> 00:05:51,235
Okay
125
00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:54,530
so, there's a trail
that we could do that's a loop
126
00:05:54,613 --> 00:05:57,283
but it's saying
it's about 90 minutes.
127
00:05:57,366 --> 00:05:58,909
- That's fine.
- Okay.
128
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:03,330
Oh, no,
this is a super casual forest.
129
00:06:03,414 --> 00:06:04,790
You don't need to wear gloves.
130
00:06:06,417 --> 00:06:07,668
They're sun protection gloves.
131
00:06:07,752 --> 00:06:09,629
UPF of 50 plus.
132
00:06:09,712 --> 00:06:11,172
The hands never lie.
133
00:06:11,255 --> 00:06:13,466
Only part of your body
you can't help surgically.
134
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:15,385
There's no such thing as a hand job.
135
00:06:16,344 --> 00:06:19,347
My eighth-grade boyfriend
Brendan Otis would beg to differ.
136
00:06:22,350 --> 00:06:24,227
It's too young in retrospect.
137
00:06:25,270 --> 00:06:26,396
Happened on the trampoline.
138
00:06:27,021 --> 00:06:28,857
- Disgusting!
- Okay, stop.
139
00:06:33,695 --> 00:06:35,405
God I'm already feeling
so much better.
140
00:06:35,906 --> 00:06:37,073
After a major life event
141
00:06:37,157 --> 00:06:40,118
it is so healing
to commune with nature.
142
00:06:40,202 --> 00:06:42,996
Listen to what the old gal
has to say.
143
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,207
Major life event...
Oh, you mean that girl?
144
00:06:45,958 --> 00:06:48,377
Yeah, she was my long-term partner.
145
00:06:49,294 --> 00:06:50,337
"Long-term partner."
146
00:06:50,754 --> 00:06:53,465
You make it sound like you drove her
to dialysis appointments.
147
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:57,094
I mean, why do you even want
to be in a relationship?
148
00:06:58,220 --> 00:07:01,015
Probably 'cause they're the basic
building blocks of human connection?
149
00:07:01,098 --> 00:07:03,350
I'm serious! You're 27 years old.
150
00:07:04,018 --> 00:07:05,311
This is the time to focus on you.
151
00:07:05,853 --> 00:07:08,314
Okay, sure, but I can do both.
152
00:07:08,981 --> 00:07:10,316
No, when you're in a relationship
153
00:07:10,399 --> 00:07:11,901
you make decisions
for the two of you.
154
00:07:11,984 --> 00:07:14,070
And it's hard enough
to make it in this business.
155
00:07:15,279 --> 00:07:17,448
You gotta concentrate
on what's best for you.
156
00:07:18,157 --> 00:07:20,159
You know, just,
you know, buy a vibrator.
157
00:07:21,035 --> 00:07:24,664
Okay, hilarious that you think
I don't have a vibrator.
158
00:07:24,747 --> 00:07:27,917
Plus, it's not like I can just choose
not to want a relationship.
159
00:07:28,001 --> 00:07:29,043
I've always wanted one.
160
00:07:30,378 --> 00:07:35,008
I mean, have you never
considered getting remarried?
161
00:07:35,592 --> 00:07:36,635
I had a husband
162
00:07:36,801 --> 00:07:37,844
and he's in hell.
163
00:07:38,178 --> 00:07:40,222
Yeah, that's why I said, "remarried."
164
00:07:41,139 --> 00:07:43,809
Seriously, who's like your dream man?
165
00:07:47,521 --> 00:07:50,899
The work ethic of John Rockefeller
in the body of James Gandolfini.
166
00:07:52,192 --> 00:07:53,819
Absolutely nuts.
167
00:07:54,820 --> 00:07:56,697
No, I'm...
I'm never gonna get remarried.
168
00:07:57,322 --> 00:07:59,491
I don't wanna have to make room
in the fridge for tapioca
169
00:07:59,575 --> 00:08:01,035
or whatever the hell old men eat.
170
00:08:02,077 --> 00:08:03,120
Okay.
171
00:08:03,537 --> 00:08:05,039
- Don't you ever get lonely?
- No.
172
00:08:09,585 --> 00:08:12,463
You know, maybe sometimes
when I open a bottle of Krug.
173
00:08:14,924 --> 00:08:16,342
You know, you can't recork champagne.
174
00:08:22,682 --> 00:08:24,350
I gotta scan these mushrooms.
175
00:08:24,642 --> 00:08:27,437
- What?
- You're gonna scan a mushroom?
176
00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:28,563
Yeah.
177
00:08:28,688 --> 00:08:30,565
Yeah, recently got into foraging.
178
00:08:30,648 --> 00:08:33,318
Well, the idea of it.
Haven't actually done it yet.
179
00:08:33,401 --> 00:08:35,320
Until now. Maiden voyage!
180
00:08:36,905 --> 00:08:39,699
It's... inconclusive,
gotta get a better angle.
181
00:08:40,575 --> 00:08:41,618
No.
182
00:08:43,119 --> 00:08:44,162
No.
183
00:08:45,038 --> 00:08:46,456
Were you brought up in a barn?
184
00:08:46,540 --> 00:08:47,582
It's a chanterelle.
185
00:08:49,376 --> 00:08:51,253
Yep. Chanterelle!
186
00:08:52,629 --> 00:08:53,672
Awesome.
187
00:09:00,846 --> 00:09:04,016
Oh sick, perfect walking stick.
188
00:09:06,310 --> 00:09:09,104
All right, let's see.
189
00:09:09,188 --> 00:09:12,441
So, one of the Florida affiliates
is originally from London.
190
00:09:12,525 --> 00:09:14,777
So maybe some London-based humor?
191
00:09:14,860 --> 00:09:16,612
But I've never been,
so, I don't know.
192
00:09:17,697 --> 00:09:19,115
You've never been to London?
193
00:09:19,198 --> 00:09:20,866
No, I've actually never been
outside of the country.
194
00:09:20,950 --> 00:09:22,159
Well, besides Montreal.
195
00:09:22,243 --> 00:09:23,703
And I was supposed to go to Iceland
196
00:09:23,786 --> 00:09:25,913
but that didn't end up happening.
197
00:09:26,789 --> 00:09:27,832
But you've been to Paris!
198
00:09:29,083 --> 00:09:32,211
No, again, "outta the country"
would include Paris.
199
00:09:33,212 --> 00:09:34,255
Oh, my god.
200
00:09:35,798 --> 00:09:37,175
You've never had real bread!
201
00:09:38,468 --> 00:09:39,844
I feel like I have.
202
00:09:39,969 --> 00:09:41,387
No, you haven't.
203
00:09:42,305 --> 00:09:44,432
Oh, my god. You have to go to Paris.
204
00:09:44,516 --> 00:09:45,642
And Venice!
205
00:09:45,725 --> 00:09:48,061
You haven't lived until you've seen
the canals of Venice.
206
00:09:48,144 --> 00:09:50,522
Saw the Ponte Vecchio
on a microwave this morning.
207
00:09:50,605 --> 00:09:51,648
We sold out.
208
00:09:52,858 --> 00:09:54,568
Hang on. Sorry, this can't be right.
209
00:09:54,651 --> 00:09:56,111
Let me just check something.
210
00:09:58,739 --> 00:10:00,782
I'm a little confused
by the trail map.
211
00:10:00,866 --> 00:10:03,994
Are we supposed to go down
this ravine and cross the stream?
212
00:10:05,871 --> 00:10:06,914
Maybe we should turn around.
213
00:10:07,664 --> 00:10:09,416
Oh, you mean,
maybe I should turn around.
214
00:10:09,875 --> 00:10:11,293
No, that is not what I mean.
215
00:10:11,377 --> 00:10:14,004
But, I mean, come on.
It's so steep. We can't.
216
00:10:14,088 --> 00:10:15,631
If this is the trail,
let's follow it.
217
00:10:17,174 --> 00:10:18,425
All right, at least
take the walking stick.
218
00:10:18,509 --> 00:10:19,552
Come on, let's go. Let's go.
219
00:10:24,682 --> 00:10:25,725
Okay.
220
00:10:28,144 --> 00:10:29,187
Oh, shit! Fuck!
221
00:10:29,937 --> 00:10:30,980
Shit!
222
00:10:31,189 --> 00:10:33,191
Oh, my god...
223
00:10:33,274 --> 00:10:34,317
Are you okay?
224
00:10:34,942 --> 00:10:35,985
Come on, here I got you.
225
00:10:37,445 --> 00:10:39,447
Holy shit! Okay...
226
00:10:42,116 --> 00:10:43,159
Okay. Come on.
227
00:10:44,494 --> 00:10:45,537
Okay, let's get you down.
228
00:10:45,954 --> 00:10:46,996
Oh, shit!
229
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,123
Oh, my god! Are you okay?
230
00:10:49,124 --> 00:10:50,667
- I'm fine.
- I heard a pop!
231
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:53,628
Yeah, so did I.
Which means my hearing is just fine!
232
00:10:53,962 --> 00:10:55,297
We should turn around, get you help!
233
00:10:55,881 --> 00:10:57,048
We've been walking for an hour.
234
00:10:57,132 --> 00:10:59,509
If it's a loop it'll be closer
if we just keep going.
235
00:11:00,135 --> 00:11:01,553
I guess, let me see where we are.
236
00:11:01,887 --> 00:11:04,139
- I gotta keep moving.
- No, well, take my hand at least!
237
00:11:04,222 --> 00:11:05,265
I don't need your hand!
238
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,351
Oh, fuck!
239
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:08,769
Oh, shit!
240
00:11:11,355 --> 00:11:12,564
Careful, God.
241
00:11:12,648 --> 00:11:14,692
Fuck! Oh, my god!
242
00:11:15,734 --> 00:11:17,736
Okay, what are we gonna do?
We should put it in rice!
243
00:11:19,196 --> 00:11:21,323
Rice? Where we gonna find rice?
244
00:11:21,407 --> 00:11:22,533
How the hell should I know?
245
00:11:22,616 --> 00:11:24,118
You're the one
that always has food on her!
246
00:11:25,035 --> 00:11:26,412
Oh, fuck. It's dead.
247
00:11:27,455 --> 00:11:28,914
Okay. Give me your phone.
248
00:11:28,998 --> 00:11:30,166
I'll pull up the map on yours.
249
00:11:30,625 --> 00:11:31,667
I don't have my phone.
250
00:11:32,543 --> 00:11:33,586
What?
251
00:11:33,669 --> 00:11:35,505
Where would I have my phone?
I don't have a purse.
252
00:11:35,588 --> 00:11:36,631
Your pockets!
253
00:11:36,881 --> 00:11:39,092
I don't put anything in my pockets.
It ruins my lines.
254
00:11:39,175 --> 00:11:41,010
"It ruins your lines"?
255
00:11:41,094 --> 00:11:43,221
Oh, my god! So, we're stranded
in the middle of the woods
256
00:11:43,304 --> 00:11:45,181
- without phones?
- And whose fault is that?
257
00:11:45,265 --> 00:11:46,766
It was your idea!
258
00:11:47,058 --> 00:11:49,227
Let's get out, move our bodies!
That's you!
259
00:11:49,310 --> 00:11:51,396
I suggested a mall!
260
00:11:51,855 --> 00:11:53,773
This wouldn't have happened
at the King of Prussia!
261
00:11:53,857 --> 00:11:55,942
And if it did, there would've been
an Apple store!
262
00:11:56,026 --> 00:11:59,112
Okay, okay, let's just finish
and get you to the car.
263
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:01,323
Come on.
264
00:12:02,491 --> 00:12:03,533
Take that.
265
00:12:04,409 --> 00:12:05,452
Come on.
266
00:12:17,256 --> 00:12:19,842
- I... I need a break.
- Okay. Okay.
267
00:12:20,843 --> 00:12:22,636
- Here, this way.
- Okay.
268
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:23,762
Let's get you down.
269
00:12:26,140 --> 00:12:27,183
Okay. You good?
270
00:12:27,266 --> 00:12:29,018
- I'm good...
- Yeah? I got...
271
00:12:29,602 --> 00:12:30,644
Okay.
272
00:12:34,273 --> 00:12:35,566
I think we should make you a splint.
273
00:12:37,026 --> 00:12:38,986
You can't tie a simple
double Windsor.
274
00:12:39,070 --> 00:12:40,112
How are you gonna make a splint?
275
00:12:41,823 --> 00:12:44,992
No, but I did go to gymnastics camp
276
00:12:45,326 --> 00:12:47,120
and I was really bad
after I got my period
277
00:12:47,203 --> 00:12:49,497
so I spent a lot of time
sitting next to the team doctor
278
00:12:49,581 --> 00:12:50,999
and yeah,
I picked up a couple things.
279
00:12:51,624 --> 00:12:53,877
Maybe I should just let birds
peck at my body
280
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,503
until I'm completely gone.
281
00:12:55,754 --> 00:12:58,048
Okay, okay.
282
00:12:58,673 --> 00:13:00,550
Okay. Oh, yeah. This is good.
283
00:13:04,888 --> 00:13:05,931
All right.
284
00:13:08,016 --> 00:13:09,059
Sorry.
285
00:13:10,644 --> 00:13:11,728
- Sorry, sorry!
- Dammit!
286
00:13:11,812 --> 00:13:13,522
Sorry, look I know it hurts right now
287
00:13:13,605 --> 00:13:14,940
but it's gonna be okay.
288
00:13:15,023 --> 00:13:17,317
You know, it's maybe a sprain.
289
00:13:17,401 --> 00:13:19,153
Worst case you'll have to wear
like a boot or something.
290
00:13:19,236 --> 00:13:20,279
A boot?
291
00:13:20,445 --> 00:13:22,531
Oh, and clomp around
like I lost a ski?
292
00:13:22,614 --> 00:13:23,657
Fantastic.
293
00:13:24,074 --> 00:13:25,617
A boot is not that bad.
294
00:13:25,909 --> 00:13:27,202
Yeah, well, me wearing a boot
295
00:13:27,286 --> 00:13:28,746
is different than you wearing a boot.
296
00:13:29,121 --> 00:13:30,164
'Cause of paparazzi?
297
00:13:30,664 --> 00:13:32,958
No. Me wearing a boot, I look old.
298
00:13:33,083 --> 00:13:34,126
And frail.
299
00:13:34,543 --> 00:13:36,170
Same as wearing
a hearing aid or whatever.
300
00:13:36,754 --> 00:13:37,797
I'm not gonna do that.
301
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:42,843
Well, yeah but it's okay if you need
those things though, right?
302
00:13:43,636 --> 00:13:45,054
I mean it's perfectly natural for you
303
00:13:45,137 --> 00:13:46,848
not to be able to do
all the things you used to.
304
00:13:46,931 --> 00:13:47,974
But that's the thing.
305
00:13:48,558 --> 00:13:50,059
I still feel like
I can do everything.
306
00:13:50,268 --> 00:13:51,561
I don't feel my age.
307
00:13:53,313 --> 00:13:55,899
Then I look in the mirror,
and I don't recognize myself.
308
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,277
Well, you do redo your face a lot.
309
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,529
I don't redo. I refresh.
310
00:14:03,031 --> 00:14:04,908
The whole goal
is to keep it the same.
311
00:14:04,991 --> 00:14:06,368
'Cause I feel the same.
312
00:14:06,868 --> 00:14:08,620
I feel like a 30-year-old...
313
00:14:10,247 --> 00:14:12,123
who can't read the menu
without a flashlight.
314
00:14:16,211 --> 00:14:18,422
Okay, we should be good to go.
315
00:14:22,342 --> 00:14:25,429
You're no Ferragamo, but it'll do.
316
00:14:39,568 --> 00:14:41,821
- Sorry.
- Oh, god.
317
00:14:42,613 --> 00:14:43,906
Okay. All right.
318
00:14:45,116 --> 00:14:46,158
Onward.
319
00:15:03,218 --> 00:15:04,969
- Crap! Shit!
- Sorry!
320
00:15:05,053 --> 00:15:06,346
You're fine. You're fine.
321
00:15:06,429 --> 00:15:07,806
Are we almost there?
322
00:15:08,723 --> 00:15:11,017
This... this can't be right.
323
00:15:11,518 --> 00:15:14,020
I think it is. Hang on.
Let me just...
324
00:15:14,312 --> 00:15:15,647
let's just get you stable.
325
00:15:16,022 --> 00:15:17,065
Let me park you right here.
326
00:15:17,274 --> 00:15:18,316
Okay, okay.
327
00:15:18,483 --> 00:15:19,526
- You okay?
- Yeah.
328
00:15:21,737 --> 00:15:24,156
You know what?
I'm gonna climb this tree.
329
00:15:24,239 --> 00:15:26,074
See if I can get a better view
of the parking lot
330
00:15:26,158 --> 00:15:27,201
or the road or something.
331
00:15:27,534 --> 00:15:28,952
What? You don't think it's safe?
332
00:15:29,036 --> 00:15:31,747
No, it's just,
you've never given me nimble.
333
00:15:34,792 --> 00:15:35,834
You know what?
334
00:15:36,919 --> 00:15:38,087
Watch this.
335
00:15:39,713 --> 00:15:40,756
Okay, here we go.
336
00:15:45,344 --> 00:15:47,388
It's always more firm
than you think it's gonna be.
337
00:15:49,932 --> 00:15:50,975
Okay.
338
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:53,060
Not so fast, not so fast.
339
00:15:55,062 --> 00:15:56,105
Just put...
340
00:15:58,900 --> 00:15:59,942
Okay.
341
00:16:07,826 --> 00:16:09,994
I can't see anything.
I think I gotta get higher.
342
00:16:10,078 --> 00:16:11,121
Be careful!
343
00:16:11,955 --> 00:16:12,997
It's fine.
344
00:16:16,501 --> 00:16:17,711
There's a... there's a bee!
345
00:16:19,129 --> 00:16:20,172
Get outta here!
346
00:16:20,422 --> 00:16:21,464
Oh! Oh, god!
347
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:23,425
Oh, god! Are you okay?
348
00:16:24,134 --> 00:16:25,177
- Fuck!
- What happened?
349
00:16:25,594 --> 00:16:27,262
Oh, I got stung by a bee!
350
00:16:27,679 --> 00:16:29,765
Oh, where? Where? Oh, let me see.
351
00:16:30,849 --> 00:16:32,309
Oh yeah, he gotcha.
352
00:16:32,809 --> 00:16:34,645
She. Male bees don't sting.
353
00:16:34,812 --> 00:16:36,313
Oh, honey, give it a rest.
354
00:16:38,107 --> 00:16:39,233
Yeah, I think we should keep moving.
355
00:16:39,316 --> 00:16:40,526
- Yeah. Come on, let's...
- Okay. Let's...
356
00:16:40,734 --> 00:16:41,777
let's walk it off.
357
00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,113
- Okay.
- All right, here we go.
358
00:16:57,710 --> 00:16:58,753
Does it hurt?
359
00:16:59,170 --> 00:17:00,213
Yeah.
360
00:17:00,296 --> 00:17:02,298
But I don't blame the bee, though.
361
00:17:02,381 --> 00:17:03,424
Oh, good.
362
00:17:04,467 --> 00:17:06,803
This is their world
and we're pushing them out.
363
00:17:06,886 --> 00:17:08,763
I mean,
they're going extinct because of us.
364
00:17:09,180 --> 00:17:10,223
Actually, I deserved it.
365
00:17:10,473 --> 00:17:11,516
Agreed.
366
00:17:11,933 --> 00:17:13,434
Bees are not going extinct.
367
00:17:13,977 --> 00:17:15,019
Yes, they are.
368
00:17:15,103 --> 00:17:18,523
Climate change is literally
wreaking havoc on their ecosystem.
369
00:17:18,606 --> 00:17:20,483
The Earth is a billion years old.
370
00:17:20,567 --> 00:17:23,403
It just self-corrects from any
damage that's done to it.
371
00:17:23,862 --> 00:17:25,822
No, we're destroying the planet.
372
00:17:25,906 --> 00:17:27,073
It's a proven fact.
373
00:17:27,491 --> 00:17:29,367
Trust me, we're fine.
374
00:17:30,202 --> 00:17:33,038
I think I'll trust the thousands
and thousands of scientists
375
00:17:33,121 --> 00:17:34,289
over you on this one.
376
00:17:34,373 --> 00:17:35,415
- But thanks.
- Oh, sure.
377
00:17:35,499 --> 00:17:37,000
Trust a bunch of men over me.
378
00:17:37,417 --> 00:17:41,505
Oh, my god. You are being sexist
while accusing me of being sexist.
379
00:17:42,381 --> 00:17:43,966
Did you know
that wildlife populations
380
00:17:44,049 --> 00:17:47,094
have diminished 70% since 1970?
381
00:17:47,177 --> 00:17:50,306
I don't buy that. I'm sorry.
I always see animals.
382
00:17:50,389 --> 00:17:52,016
The problem
is there's too many people.
383
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,894
I remember a day when you could
walk down Fifth Avenue
384
00:17:54,977 --> 00:17:56,270
from The Plaza to Cartier
385
00:17:56,353 --> 00:17:59,231
and see ten, maybe 12 people, tops.
386
00:17:59,315 --> 00:18:00,358
Now it's a shit show!
387
00:18:01,442 --> 00:18:03,986
Believe me, no one's going
extinct anytime soon.
388
00:18:04,070 --> 00:18:05,530
People like having sex too much.
389
00:18:05,613 --> 00:18:07,240
You got nothing to worry about.
390
00:18:07,323 --> 00:18:09,242
Why won't you admit
that this is a problem?
391
00:18:12,495 --> 00:18:14,455
Look even if what you say is true...
392
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:17,667
what can any one person do about it?
393
00:18:17,792 --> 00:18:20,378
Well, you're right.
Your average person can't do as much
394
00:18:20,462 --> 00:18:22,005
as corporations or governments.
395
00:18:22,088 --> 00:18:23,381
There ya go, case closed.
396
00:18:23,923 --> 00:18:25,550
I said, average person.
397
00:18:25,634 --> 00:18:27,594
You're one of the biggest
climate criminals I know!
398
00:18:27,677 --> 00:18:29,262
Your carbon footprint is huge!
399
00:18:29,346 --> 00:18:31,389
Well, not as big
as your carbon handprint.
400
00:18:31,473 --> 00:18:33,809
Hey! We had an agreement!
401
00:18:33,892 --> 00:18:35,602
I'm handicapped now.
I have more rights.
402
00:18:35,685 --> 00:18:37,145
Okay, you know what,
joke all you want
403
00:18:37,229 --> 00:18:39,189
but you drive cars
that are inefficient
404
00:18:39,273 --> 00:18:41,942
- you take a private jet everywhere.
- Not everywhere.
405
00:18:42,025 --> 00:18:43,861
All the stuff that you sell on QVC
406
00:18:43,944 --> 00:18:45,821
it's all plastic and fast fashion.
407
00:18:45,904 --> 00:18:48,115
Polyester doesn't degrade,
and it's made from oil.
408
00:18:49,116 --> 00:18:51,785
Okay, Forever 21 is basically Exxon.
409
00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:53,329
Zara? BP.
410
00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:56,415
Listen, I'm not saying you're wrong.
It's just that...
411
00:18:57,833 --> 00:19:00,544
young people are just so much
more dramatic about everything.
412
00:19:01,253 --> 00:19:05,091
You live long enough, you realize
things don't change that drastically.
413
00:19:07,051 --> 00:19:09,345
Okay, think of it this way.
When you play a comedy club
414
00:19:09,428 --> 00:19:12,140
you don't do the shitty material
at the end of your set
415
00:19:12,223 --> 00:19:13,766
and leave the crowd cold
outta respect
416
00:19:13,850 --> 00:19:15,309
for the comedian
following you, right?
417
00:19:15,393 --> 00:19:16,644
- Of course not!
- Okay.
418
00:19:16,728 --> 00:19:18,146
So maybe think of the Earth that way.
419
00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:24,360
Well, neither one of us
is gonna have a future
420
00:19:24,444 --> 00:19:26,488
if we don't get the hell...
hell outta here.
421
00:19:28,406 --> 00:19:29,699
It's gonna be dark soon.
422
00:19:32,911 --> 00:19:34,454
I think I should go ahead
and find help.
423
00:19:35,330 --> 00:19:36,957
No. Don't... Don't leave me.
424
00:19:38,417 --> 00:19:39,459
Okay. I won't.
425
00:19:40,085 --> 00:19:41,378
I... I can keep going.
426
00:19:43,714 --> 00:19:44,756
Let's... let's go.
427
00:19:56,185 --> 00:19:57,227
It's so steep!
428
00:19:57,770 --> 00:19:59,772
Yeah well, remember in the beginning
we were going down?
429
00:20:00,189 --> 00:20:01,941
- Yeah.
- Well, this must be the end
430
00:20:02,024 --> 00:20:03,067
'cause we're going up.
431
00:20:03,526 --> 00:20:04,568
We got it.
432
00:20:05,069 --> 00:20:06,112
Oh, shit.
433
00:20:10,950 --> 00:20:13,661
- Fuck!
- Shit! It's not a loop!
434
00:20:13,744 --> 00:20:16,122
We've just been walking deeper
and deeper into the woods!
435
00:20:16,664 --> 00:20:17,957
Goddammit!
436
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,795
I think we should start thinking
about making shelter.
437
00:20:23,588 --> 00:20:24,964
Making shelter?
438
00:20:25,340 --> 00:20:26,925
We're not gonna sleep out here!
439
00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:28,718
Besides, I have to be at QVC
in three hours!
440
00:20:28,802 --> 00:20:30,261
We're rolling out
new infinity scarves!
441
00:20:30,345 --> 00:20:32,931
Literally nothing
could sound less urgent to me.
442
00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:34,641
They come with matching beanies!
443
00:20:34,975 --> 00:20:36,017
Okay.
444
00:20:36,810 --> 00:20:37,852
Look.
445
00:20:38,395 --> 00:20:40,772
We're gonna hear
the search helicopter any second.
446
00:20:41,189 --> 00:20:43,650
I'm worth way too much money
for them to not come and look for me.
447
00:20:43,733 --> 00:20:45,152
How are they gonna find us?
448
00:20:45,235 --> 00:20:46,945
We didn't tell anyone
where we were going!
449
00:20:48,947 --> 00:20:50,782
Oh, right.
450
00:20:50,866 --> 00:20:52,868
Look, it's gonna be,
like, 30 degrees tonight.
451
00:20:52,951 --> 00:20:54,620
So, if you're really against
the shelter plan
452
00:20:54,703 --> 00:20:56,622
then we need to get serious
about finding some help.
453
00:21:01,210 --> 00:21:02,252
Help!
454
00:21:03,170 --> 00:21:04,463
- Help!
- Help!
455
00:21:06,549 --> 00:21:07,967
- Help!
- Help!
456
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:10,678
- Somebody, please! Help!
- Help!
457
00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:19,896
Wait, I know why it's not working!
458
00:21:20,104 --> 00:21:21,272
I... I read this study...
459
00:21:21,355 --> 00:21:24,567
- Not now, Ava!
- No, it's relevant. I promise!
460
00:21:24,650 --> 00:21:26,152
Okay, it was about
emergency response.
461
00:21:26,235 --> 00:21:27,862
It said people are less likely
to help someone
462
00:21:27,946 --> 00:21:29,322
if they hear them yelling "help."
463
00:21:30,281 --> 00:21:31,324
Oh, that's right!
464
00:21:31,449 --> 00:21:32,617
You're... you're supposed
to yell "fire" right?
465
00:21:32,700 --> 00:21:34,160
No! No... you're supposed to yell
466
00:21:34,244 --> 00:21:36,413
"Why are you doing this to me?
I don't even know you!"
467
00:21:37,539 --> 00:21:38,581
We're gonna die out here.
468
00:21:39,082 --> 00:21:42,335
No, it's because if people hear
a woman screaming "help,"
469
00:21:42,419 --> 00:21:44,212
they think she's in
a domestic dispute with her husband
470
00:21:44,296 --> 00:21:46,131
'cause he won't let her
have a credit card or something.
471
00:21:46,214 --> 00:21:47,257
So they don't do anything.
472
00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:49,217
That's why you gotta yell,
"Why are you doing this to me?
473
00:21:49,301 --> 00:21:50,343
I don't even know you!"
474
00:21:51,136 --> 00:21:52,429
That's ridiculous.
475
00:21:57,309 --> 00:22:00,938
Why are you doing this to me?
I don't even know you!
476
00:22:01,021 --> 00:22:03,399
Why are you doing this to me?
I don't even know you!
477
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,860
Why are you doing this to me?
I don't even know you!
478
00:22:08,070 --> 00:22:10,614
Why are you doing this to me?
I don't even know you!
479
00:22:19,373 --> 00:22:20,416
Okay.
480
00:22:21,459 --> 00:22:22,501
Let's make a fire.
481
00:22:24,795 --> 00:22:25,838
Yeah.
482
00:22:32,637 --> 00:22:35,265
So ironic that you can't make a fire.
483
00:22:36,432 --> 00:22:40,019
Now this would make
a great Late Night story.
484
00:22:43,231 --> 00:22:44,274
It's not happening.
485
00:22:46,526 --> 00:22:49,112
You know this is the first time
I've missed my skincare regimen
486
00:22:49,196 --> 00:22:51,156
since the Bush administration.
487
00:22:52,532 --> 00:22:53,575
I'm talking H.W.
488
00:22:53,867 --> 00:22:57,996
I'm so sorry I made us come out here
and then got us lost.
489
00:22:58,789 --> 00:23:00,165
We should have just gone to the mall.
490
00:23:00,249 --> 00:23:03,001
I coulda...
I coulda gotten Auntie Anne's.
491
00:23:03,502 --> 00:23:05,003
No, I shouldn't have been
so hard on you.
492
00:23:05,087 --> 00:23:08,507
It's not your fault
my stupid body broke down.
493
00:23:09,299 --> 00:23:10,342
Come on, you're in great shape.
494
00:23:13,012 --> 00:23:14,054
Say it.
495
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:16,265
For a woman your age.
496
00:23:21,604 --> 00:23:22,980
You know your whole life
497
00:23:24,106 --> 00:23:25,399
you say, "One day..."
498
00:23:25,858 --> 00:23:27,860
You know, "One day, I'll do this.
499
00:23:27,944 --> 00:23:32,073
One day, I'll accomplish that."
500
00:23:33,908 --> 00:23:36,369
And the magic of "one day"
is that it's...
501
00:23:36,452 --> 00:23:37,662
it's all ahead of you.
502
00:23:40,123 --> 00:23:42,250
But for me, one day is now.
503
00:23:46,629 --> 00:23:51,051
Anything I wanna do,
I have to do now.
504
00:23:53,345 --> 00:23:54,596
Or else I'll never do it.
505
00:23:56,223 --> 00:23:58,433
That's the worst part of getting old.
506
00:24:00,185 --> 00:24:02,354
I believe you told me
that the worst part
507
00:24:02,437 --> 00:24:04,356
about getting older is
the collagen loss.
508
00:24:04,731 --> 00:24:05,774
That too.
509
00:24:07,568 --> 00:24:08,986
The best part of being young...
510
00:24:09,862 --> 00:24:12,573
is that you don't have
to savor everything.
511
00:24:13,574 --> 00:24:15,743
You don't even have to consider it,
you know?
512
00:24:16,619 --> 00:24:20,873
Eat that candy bar and
sleep in on Saturday morning.
513
00:24:25,002 --> 00:24:26,170
Or have a breakup.
514
00:24:30,049 --> 00:24:31,092
It's not the end of the world.
515
00:24:33,302 --> 00:24:34,345
It's just the beginning.
516
00:24:37,849 --> 00:24:39,976
That's the ultimate luxury.
517
00:24:42,103 --> 00:24:46,191
Not having to suck
the marrow out of every day.
518
00:24:47,901 --> 00:24:49,861
Just toss the bones
519
00:24:51,071 --> 00:24:52,113
not even make a soup.
520
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:55,450
Sorry, I'm really hungry.
521
00:24:58,787 --> 00:24:59,829
What was that?
522
00:25:00,247 --> 00:25:01,289
Wa... was that an animal?
523
00:25:01,748 --> 00:25:04,126
Why are you doing this to me?
I don't even know you!
524
00:25:04,209 --> 00:25:06,753
Why are you doing this to me?
I don't even know you!
525
00:25:07,045 --> 00:25:09,590
Why are you doing this to me?
I don't even know you!
526
00:25:10,048 --> 00:25:13,135
Why are you doing this to me?
I don't even know you!
527
00:25:19,224 --> 00:25:20,267
Are you guys, okay?
528
00:25:26,190 --> 00:25:27,691
Oh, my god!
529
00:25:28,109 --> 00:25:29,401
Yeah, we are!
530
00:25:29,735 --> 00:25:30,778
- Thank you!
- Hi!
531
00:25:32,029 --> 00:25:33,572
We're alive. We're alive!
532
00:26:02,519 --> 00:26:03,562
Okay.
533
00:26:04,479 --> 00:26:05,856
I gotcha. I gotcha.
534
00:26:06,481 --> 00:26:07,858
I gotcha. I gotcha.
535
00:26:08,650 --> 00:26:09,693
Careful.
536
00:26:09,985 --> 00:26:11,028
Careful.
537
00:26:11,278 --> 00:26:14,072
Okay. Yeah. Okay, okay.
538
00:26:14,489 --> 00:26:15,532
Oh, wait, wait!
539
00:26:16,116 --> 00:26:17,159
Boys!
540
00:26:17,826 --> 00:26:19,203
I... I can't thank you enough.
541
00:26:19,536 --> 00:26:20,996
And to show you my gratitude
542
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:22,122
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
543
00:26:23,457 --> 00:26:26,794
I'm gonna build an in-home QVC studio
544
00:26:26,877 --> 00:26:29,588
so that I do not have to depend
so much on my private jet.
545
00:26:34,593 --> 00:26:35,803
And I'm gonna transition
546
00:26:36,345 --> 00:26:38,931
half of my portfolio
into green stocks.
547
00:26:40,266 --> 00:26:41,309
And?
548
00:26:44,353 --> 00:26:47,190
And install solar panels even though
it's gonna ruin the roof line.
549
00:26:47,982 --> 00:26:49,025
Okay.
550
00:26:50,318 --> 00:26:51,361
Ask.
551
00:26:51,569 --> 00:26:53,488
Could you also buy us Mike's Hard?
552
00:26:53,947 --> 00:26:56,449
Whatever you want. I owe you.
553
00:26:57,325 --> 00:26:58,368
Sick.
554
00:26:59,202 --> 00:27:00,245
Come on.
555
00:27:00,662 --> 00:27:01,705
Okay.
556
00:27:01,830 --> 00:27:02,956
Nice to meet you, guys.
557
00:27:03,039 --> 00:27:04,082
- Take care.
- Nice to meet you.
558
00:27:05,250 --> 00:27:06,293
Got it?
559
00:27:06,376 --> 00:27:07,419
You know what? I'm driving.
560
00:27:07,794 --> 00:27:08,837
Okay. Whichever.
561
00:27:11,089 --> 00:27:12,174
You know it's like
when you say goodbye
562
00:27:12,257 --> 00:27:13,550
and then you're not leaving.
It's crazy.
563
00:27:15,218 --> 00:27:16,261
Okay.
564
00:27:16,595 --> 00:27:18,639
Or should... should we follow you
for the Mike's Hard stuff?
565
00:27:18,722 --> 00:27:19,765
- Yeah.
- Okay!
566
00:27:20,766 --> 00:27:21,808
You got her.
567
00:27:22,017 --> 00:27:23,060
God, there you are.
568
00:27:23,769 --> 00:27:25,104
Holy shit. Are you... are you okay?
569
00:27:25,187 --> 00:27:27,439
I have to sell infinity scarves!
570
00:27:29,608 --> 00:27:30,651
Okay, what happened?
571
00:27:31,193 --> 00:27:32,236
We took a walk.
572
00:27:33,237 --> 00:27:34,280
She looks rough.
573
00:27:34,363 --> 00:27:35,406
I heard that!
574
00:27:37,283 --> 00:27:39,368
What the fuck?
Can we get a medic, please?
575
00:27:41,829 --> 00:27:43,205
You shouldn't use plastic.
41362
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