All language subtitles for Bobs.Burgers.S14E15.WEB.x264-TORRENTGALAXY

♪ ♪

Aw, new pennies, so shiny.

Got your whole life
ahead of you.

-Don't end up in the gutter.
-Ugh.

It's doing that weird

clanky-wobbly-screechy
thing again.

-What, your ding-a-ling?
-Or is it your butt this time?

I'm guessing your back?

No, it's our meat grinder.

I think it's finally seriously
time to get a new one.

Aw, really?

But the meat grinder's
like part of the family.

It watched the kids grow up.
And never grinded them once.

I know. That was nice of it.

But it gets jammed all the time
and it fights me

unless I wiggle the crank
halfway through every turn.

So, we're back
on your ding-a-ling?

-Gene.
-Oh, Gayle's here.

And she's running? Oh, she fell.

She's up. Okay, she's fine.

She's fine.

Guess who you're looking at?

I know this one. Aunt Gayle.

You're looking at...
a contestant

on the next season
of Tough Stuff Island.

-Tough Stuff Island?
-The TV show?

The one on TV?

That's the one.

Oh, that show
where the contestants are

on an island and they have to do

all sorts of obstacles
and challenges?

But the hardest challenge is

figuring out where to poop,
I assume.

-Yup.
-And the winner of the show gets
a million dollars.

Aunt Gayle, you could win
a million dollars.

I probably will, right?
Just as soon as they pick me.

Oh.

After they see my audition tape.

Which I... I haven't sent in yet

-'cause I haven't made it yet.
-Mm.

But as far as everyone
in my apartment building thinks,

I've already been cast
on the show.

Why do they think that?

'Cause I told them that.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Isn't that gonna be
maybe a little hard since they--

they kind of pick people
who look, um, muscle-y?

-And maybe mostly under 40?
-No, no, Mom,

there's always a scrappy
middle-aged contestant

who can do one-armed pull ups
or something.

I bet I could even do
two-armed pull-ups.

-Whoa.
-Anyway, that's why
I'm here, Linda.

I need your help
making my audition tape.

-Oh.
-Uh-huh. Uh...

I'm thinking
I'll climb a building--

I'm a good climber--
or swim across the ocean?

You know, one
of the littler ones. Or both.

-Seems doable.
-I don't have it all worked out,

but I do know that at the end,
I'm gonna rip off my shirt

and right here on my upper belly
it'll say "Cast Gayle."

Which I would need to re-do
for the actual tape

because I wrote it upside down.

That's how you spell Gayle?

-I think so.
-What are we waiting for?

Let's get cracking
on this audition tape, people.

No. No, no.
W-wait, hang on.

I don't know
about this one, Gayle.

-It seems tough.
-Yeah, Mom,

that's the name of the show.
Tough Stuff Island.

But maybe too tough?

Linda, why can't you help me
for once in your life?

Gayle, I help you all the time.

I helped you build a fake person

to put in your window
so burglars didn't think

you lived alone,

I-I helped you build
a panic room

for just your cats,

I let you practice on me

to see if doing acupuncture
was your thing--

uh, PS, it's not--
and that was just last week.

Okay, fine,
you don't want to help?

I'll just
tape a camera to my head

and do action stuff
in front of a mirror.

Just have to get a mirror.

Don't worry.

I'll never ask you
for anything ever again.

Can I borrow some money?

For the camera and tape?
And the mirror?

I'll pay you back
when I get the million.

[salesman]
Yeah, we don't have any

hand-crank meat grinders

'cause we live
in the present day now.

All we have are
these electric ones.

Oh, these cost more money
than my old one did.

This one right here will grind

between four to five pounds
per minute.

Whoa. That would take me, like,
a half hour with my grinder.

Yeah, this thing
doesn't just grind meat.

-It makes time.
-It makes time. Wow.

There's still magic
in this world.

I have a credit card.

[chuckles] Okay,
let's get that out.

[narrator]
This is when
you got to dig deep.

They're pushing
50-gallon drums

full of the heaviest sand
we could find.

This is when
you're asking yourself,

"Am I tough stuff?"

Why would Gayle even think she
could go on this show anyway?

Those are young,
strong people with body hair

-where you'd expect it to be.
-Mm.

And-and muscles.

I mean, Gayle and I are past
that point in our lives.

Like, I could always do a split

on the dance floor
and then I couldn't

at my cousin Teresa's wedding.

Remember that?

Uh. Uh... uh-huh.

And I was fine with that.

I mean, I won't do a split
anymore.

-So what?
-Uh, same for me.

I'll-I'll stop doing splits
at weddings.

-Bob.
-What?

If you think your stuff
is tough enough,

we want to see your audition.

♪ ♪

But, of course, not everyone's
stuff is up to snuff.

♪ ♪

[chuckling] Ouch!
We'll be right back.

-What the hell is that?
-I-I wasn't looking.

I'm-I'm reading
the grinder manual.

They humiliate people
who send in bad auditions?

Oh, yeah,
I-I kind of remember that now.

That's horrible.

They don't say their names,
do they?

Don't they blur
their faces or something?

You think those people
don't know who they are?

And their families
and their neighbors?

-That's gonna be Gayle.
-Right.

Her name's gonna be written
on her hairy, jiggly belly

for everyone to see.

Like a sack of mayo
with hair stuck to it.

Oh, God.
Would it help to hear more

about the electric grinder?
How many gears

-do you think it has?
-Bob, we've got to

shoot her audition video.

-We do?
-And edit it.

Oh... O-okay.

She cannot end up on that

"let's laugh at these idiots"
rejection reel, Bob.

-She would be crushed.
-Yes. Yes. Got it.

-Do you get it?
-Yes, I got it.

-Crushed.
-So we'll-we'll help her

-make a good audition tape?
-Boring.

-Boring audition tape.
-Why-- Wait. Okay.

Simple.
Instantly forgettable.

Okay, but not me, right?

I-I got to stay
in the restaurant.

Plus, Lin-- meat grinder?

I don't know if you noticed,
but I got a new one and--

-(snoring)
-Okay, you're asleep.

(whispering):
It has four gears, by the way.

-Four. Four, four.
-Yeah.

Here, I'll hold up the picture.

Oh, look who's
the early bird nerd.

Yeah, with the new grinder,

I was done downstairs
pretty quick.

Now I'm just figuring out
what to do with my morning.

Organize paperwork, maybe?
Learn French or Spanish?

It's just freed up
a lot of time.

Too bad we're already
grown, papa.

Yeah, you could've spent more
time with us, but you blew it.

Yeah. Oh, well.

Do you want to come with us
to the park?

No, I'm busy.

Okay, all right.

We're off to film
Gayle's audition tape.

We'll be back as soon as we can.

Yup. We got some big ideas--
Gayle fights a bear...

Do we know a good place
to rent a bear?

-Maybe no bears.
-We'll see.

Does anyone know if Gayle has
her helicopter pilot's license?

I want to say she does?

I-I think we want this to be

a kind of normal audition tape,
you know?

-Normal?
-I mean, great normal.

Uh, you know, exciting normal.

Like "Wow, can you believe
how normal that was?

But also really good?"

So, like, bread?

Yes. Yes, exactly.

We're gonna make the bread
of audition tapes.

Uh, yeah, let's go,
'cause I actually just

thought of a place
that might rent bears.

-Now I want bread.
-Bear first, then bread.

But the bear
doesn't get any bread.

-Aw.
-Fine. One bread.

[grunting]

You want to film some of this?

Uh, no.

So I thought we'd start
over here with the step-ups.

-Step-ups?
-Step-ups?
-Yeah, step-ups.

You step up on the beam
and then you step down.

-Then what?
-Then you step up again.

-And then you...
-Step back down.

Got it. W-Wait...

How about Gayle does
a few step-ups

but then she, like,
rips the beam out of the ground

and twirls it above her head?

We just have to dig this part
up a little bit. [grunts]

No, no, no.
The normal step-ups

are gonna look great on tape.

Okay. What if Gene
climbs on Gayle's back

while she's doing it?

And I've got my hands
over her eyes

and I'm screaming "I'm doing
this because I love you!"

Gayle, just do some step-ups.
Gene, no climbing on Aunt Gayle.

-Boo.
-And action.

And I'm stepping up

and I'm stepping down.

[Louise]
And rip it out of the ground.

-Okay.
-[Linda] No, no, no, no, no.

Just stick with the stepping.

-Oh.
-[Linda] Yeah.

And, Gene, get ready
to mount Gayle.

-Always ready.
-Kids, knock it off.

Tina, you're the bear.
In three, two...

-Wait, what-- Uh...
-Cue Gene and the bear.

Nope, nope.

-[both shouting]
-Gayle, look out! Bear!

-[Gayle screams]
-Oh, cut, cut, cut, cut!

Perfect.
We'll clean it up in post.

Let's keep moving, people.

One burger of the day.

Mmm, mmm, mmm, come to papa,
my lunchtime lover.

Mm. I-I don't like it
when you call the burger

your lunchtime lover.

You w... I-I thought
you said it was okay

as long as it wasn't every time.

-Fine, fine.
-Mm.

Mmm.

What?
I won't say it next time.

-I'll just think it.
-No, no. I was just, you know,

seeing what you think
of the burger.

-It's good.
-Yeah. And?

And... it fills an empty hole
inside of me?

It's the one time of the day
that I feel okay?

Oh, sorry.

I-I was just asking
about the burger itself.

'Cause I-I got
a new meat grinder.

Oh. I kind of bared
my soul there.

You're talking about
how does this meat taste?

Yeah. Does it taste
any different?

Okay. Yeah,
now I'm getting something.

Mm, there it is.

Different but really good,

but not too different.

Mm. Is that right?

Um, it's whatever you think.

But is it what
you want me to think?

I didn't know there was
gonna be a quiz today, Bobby.

Do you want to see it?

Fast, huh?

So fast.

-This part lights up.
-Does it?

Yeah. It's a little
work light, I guess.

Or maybe for parties?

It's a really nice meat grinder.

-You notice anything else?
-Eh...

I organized those shelves.
I mean, I started to.

Uh, geez.

I feel like you should
put a sheet over the old one

so it doesn't
have to watch this.

I always pictured its eyes
were on the other side,

so it's staring at the wall.

You think the eyes
are on that side?

-The eyes are on this side.
-All right, you know what?

This is over.
Let's go back upstairs.

-Eh...
-I'm going back up.

So, we're gonna get you
running on the beach.

The ocean's nice

and people can sort of focus
on that, if they want to.

Maybe I could even
pan to it a bit.

You know, in the background,
if need be and just-just,

-you know, pan a little bit.
-And maybe you film Aunt Gayle

rescuing Tina
from a shark attack.

Ooh, I like that.

Wait, why is a shark
attacking me?

-Does it know I'm a bear?
-No, no shark attack. No.

How about you start on me,
a handsome sunbather.

Gayle enters frame,
running like the wind,

and she hurdles me, saying,
"Nice tan, young man. [purrs]"

All right, kids, stop.
I know you're trying to help,

but Gayle is just
gonna do a normal--

hopefully coordinated--
running down the beach.

Action.

[groaning, panting]

[Linda]
And panning to the ocean.

And... go.

[groaning]

Wait, wait, wait, stop.

Why you doing that?
You look like a giant baby.

What? You know
this is how I climb stairs.

-No, it's not.
-Yeah, they did that study.

This is how people
are supposed to climb stairs.

Everyone else is doing it
the dumb way.

How about we try it the dumb way
on this next take, okay?

I think this is gonna
make a good finale.

-Eh.
-Finale? Going up stairs?

-Yeah. Look how many there are.
-I-I'm sorry, Mom,

do you think "finale" means
"dumb, unimpressive thing"?

You kids just don't
understand editing.

We got a lot of stuff.

We put a little music under it,
it's gonna be great.

Just saying, Gene is ready
for Gayle to kick him

through the goalposts
like he's a football.

It's not gonna hurt, is it?

-Nah. Uh-uh.
-Everyone, trust me.

-Mm...
-Okay? Trust my vision.

-Mm.
-And... action.

[Gayle grunts]
This feels weird.

-Does it look weird?
-[Tina] Really weird.

-Shush, shush, shush.
-♪ ♪

-[music stops]
-Eh?

Wow. That's great.

You stopped it
before I ripped off my shirt.

You got to see a little bit.

It's better.
Leave 'em wanting more.

I say give 'em all of it
all the time.

Uh, Mom, can I talk to you
in the kitchen?

It's about something private.

Um, my butt.

And Tina and Gene
need to come, too.

Okay. Okay. Ow. Ow.

That tape
isn't gonna get Aunt Gayle

on Tough Stuff Island.

We don't know that.
It's good enough.

And there's nothing better
than good enough.

A million dollars, Mom.
A million dollars.

Gayle said she's a good climber.

She didn't climb anything
besides stairs.

-And the step-up.
-Right, and the step-up.

Sort of.

Was.
She was a good climber.

She was a great climber,
but it's not like

she can just climb to the top
of the Old Mill Drawbridge

and jump into the canal
like she used to

-when we were teenagers.
-Wait, what?

You guys were teenagers? Hot.

Let's film that.
Why aren't we filming that?

What? No. I said it's not
like she could do that.

That was a really long time ago.
Things are different now.

Yeah, do we even have
drawbridges anymore?

Did you guys live in a castle
when you were teenagers?

Come on, Mom.
Climbing up a bridge?

Jumping into a canal?

That's what we should have
been filming today.

Not the crap show
we just watched.

Crap show?

Yeah. It means a show
that's not good.

Yeah, I know, Tina. That is
the tape we are sending in.

Kids, I am going back
into the living room.

You meet me in there
and bring crackers

and a better attitude.

And cheese.

And that dip
that might be expired.

Smell it first. Thank you.

Guys, if Aunt Gayle says
she can still climb that bridge,

then we got to film her
climbing that bridge.

I mean, that's what's
gonna get her on the show.

But what about
everything Mom just said?

Tina, Mom is not on
team million dollars anymore.

She's on team being weird
for some reason.

Sorry, I don't follow sports.

So, what do we do?

The only thing we can do.

Next stop, Old Mill Drawbridge.

Hi, kids!

[shushing]

I brought coffee!

You kids drink coffee, right?

I ran out of filters
so I used a T-shirt,

but I think it tastes better.
Try it.

Mmm, cottony.

So, this is what
the sun does in the morning.

Little showy-offy.

I've been up since 4:00.
My clocks are on Europe time

'cause my cats think
we all live in Paris.

That explains their attitude.

Ah, I can't wait to see
the Old Mill Drawbridge.

When we were in high school,

Linda and I used to go there
all the time.

We smoked so much...
meat there.

Ah, to be young again.

Smoking meat after school
like there's no tomorrow.

Where is Linda?
Why couldn't she come?

Oh, yeah, she wanted to come,

but, ugh,
she had to wash father.

Today's the day.
Once a month.

-She hoses him off out back.
-Okay. Makes sense.

Time for some pump-up tunes.

[Gayle singing over speakers]
♪ Pump the Gayle, pump her up ♪

♪ Pump the Gayle up... ♪

Is this you singing
over the song?

Yeah. I heard it on the radio

and I recorded myself singing

'cause I thought of
better lyrics.

♪ Get the Gayle,
going on the Gayle floor. ♪

[Linda]
Eh, morning, babe.

Morning.
I made breakfast and coffee.

There's some breakfast left.

I-I've been up for a while.

Aw. Can't you sleep in a little
with the new grinder?

You don't have to
get up so early

and do all your grinding
anymore, right?

Yeah, but nobody
told my body, so, yeah,

breakfast,
that I also ate some of.

You don't need to know
how much there used to be.

-It was a lot.
-Why does it smell like fart
in here?

-I mean...
-Oof. Sulfur. It's sulfur-y.

-Yeah. Six eggs.
-Oh, my God. Bob.

-Yeah.
-Did the kids have any?

No, 'cause they're gone.
They left, like, a while ago.

-They left?
-Yeah.

They said you knew they were
going with Gayle someplace

and they said if you're
looking for the audition tape,

they have it
'cause they want to find

a cool envelope to put it in.

But now that I see your face,

I feel like I didn't
ask enough questions.

And they had towels,
which I didn't ask about.

What?!

♪ Gayle my day ♪

-♪ Gayle my day ♪
-[phone vibrates]

-♪ Gayle my day. ♪
-Oh, who's that?

Oh, uh, it's someone
named Spam Risk?

-You don't want to get that.
-He sounds interesting.

No! Avoid.
His last name is Risk.

His first name
is working for me.

I say give him a chance.

But not today, right, Gene?

Right.
Today we play hard to get.

Hmm. I've never done that
before. Fun.

[groans]
Now I got to go to the bridge

to stop Gayle
from doing something dumb

'cause our dumb kids are dumb.

Where are the keys?
Where are the keys?!

Uh, Linda,
do you want me to drive?

Y-You seem a little ragey.

-I am not ragey!
-No, right.

Uh, it's just that
when you're like this--

not ragey at all--
but, you know,

you don't always drive
as well as you normally do.

Move it, Slowbodon Milosovic!

Yeah, you can drive.

[Gayle] Well, I haven't
climbed it in years,

but it'll come back, right?

Just like climbing a bridge.

If anything, I've only gotten
stronger and hotter since then.

And my bottom muscles
are off the charts lately.

It sure is tall and leaning

in a way that looks
hard to climb.

She says she can do it
and she's got herself pumped up.

I'm pumped up.
Are you pumped up?

-Uh, I could "Gayle my day."
-That's the spirit.

All right, I'm going.

Ready when you are, tough stuff.

Island. Oh.

[grunting]

We'll just put some music
over it.

Go! Go, go, go, go!
Drive! Drive!

-That's helpful, Lin, thanks.
[groans]

We got to stop Gayle
before she gets hurt

or makes a fool of herself
or both.

I mean, do you really think
she might get hurt?

I don't know. All I know
is that she's doing something

that people our age
should not try to do.

She's just--
she's got to accept it.

We're old.
We're middle-aged ladies.

We're not as strong
as we used to be.

We're not shiny and new anymore.

I accept it.
I mean, look at me.

So I couldn't do a split
at the wedding--

something I've been able to do
since I was a kid--

so what?!
I'm fine with it!

Uh-huh. Yup. I mean,
you-you almost did a split.

You were more down than up.

I'm not talking about me, Bob.

I'm talking about Gayle.
This is about Gayle!

Right, I know.
Obviously. Yeah.

-I kno-- Yeah.
-Look out for the duck!

-[screams]
-[duck quacks]

How am I doing--
almost at the top?

[Gene] Top-ish?

Uh, you still have
most of the bridge to go.

You don't have to keep asking
every few seconds.

-You'll know.
-'Cause you'll run
out of bridge?

[grunting]

[Louise]
Oh, crap. And, uh,

maybe pick up the pace, Gayle.

-[car doors open, close]
-A little bit. Huh? no reason.

Cut! Cut!

Hi, Linda. Hi, Bob.

Bob, you look nice and clean.

Hi, Gayle. Thank you?

Oh, hey, Mom.

Whoa, wait, when did
that drawbridge get here?

And how did Gayle get on it?
[weak chuckle]

This is crazy.

Why are we cutting?
Is it 'cause of all my farting?

I thought they were silent.

Hang on, Gayle.
I got to yell at the kids

about something for a second.

Uh, are you gonna yell at us
about how much you love us?

-[growling]
-Mm, mm-mmm. Mm-mm-mm.

Do I just...
I'll keep climbing.

Yup, keep up
that great momentum.

[chuckles] Hello, Mother.
So, you seem upset.

I know you had
some weird reservations

about doing this, but--

[whispering]
I am livid right now.

For one thing,
I told you kids not to do this.

And for another thing,
there are so many reasons

Gayle should not be
doing this, any of this.

Why not? I mean, yes,
it's a little dangerous, but

I don't think it's, like, "break
all your bones" dangerous.

Yeah, maybe like "I'm gonna feel
that in the morning" dangerous.

Also, Mom, come on,
the tape we made is bad.

This is how she gets on the show
and wins all the money

and generously shares
50 to 65% of it with us.

Kids, Aunt Gayle
is not gonna get on the show.

Do you actually think Aunt
Gayle's gonna get on the show?

-I mean... yeah.
-[Gene and Tina] Yeah.

Aunt Gayle's tough.
She's scrappy as hell.

She's a firecracker.
I think she gets it from me.

[Gene]
I wouldn't want
to go up against her.

I feel like
she's the kind of person

who would bite your nose off
if she had to.

Throw your ding-a-ling
in a river.

She doesn't have gym strength,

but she's got that
inner demon strength

that you do not
want to mess with.

I mean, Mom, look at her.

She's doing it,
she's climbing up

a 30-foot bridge
that's at an angle.

That's how I want to be
when I'm middle-aged.

Me too.

Maybe with a little less
of my underwear

sticking out of
the top of my shorts, though.

And bottom, too, somehow.
But still.

She is doing it.

I mean, so, so slowly,
but, yeah.

Wait, what were
the other reasons

you didn't think
Gayle should do this?

Oh, uh... I think, actually,

you guys were right,
she's got this.

Looking good, Gayle!
Keep going!

That's what I'm doing.

I'm just saying, looking good!

Looking strong!

Not so much talking, please!

Yup. Yup. Sorry!
I'm so proud of you.

-You're an inspiration.
-Still talking.

-Still distracting.
-[whispers] Sorry.

Thank you! [straining]

Whoa, whoa.

[grunts]

Aah!

Cast me!

[Linda gasps]

-[Gayle] Oh!
-[all cheering]

[Linda] And cut.

[Bob]
Look, this electric grinder

is amazing. And, sure,
it saves me a lot of time.

Too much time, maybe.
I don't have a lot of hobbies.

A-Anyway, I thought it was the
same end product but quicker,

but I don't know
if it is, exactly.

I think they taste
a little different,

and I think I know
what the difference was.

With the old hand grinder, yeah,
it was hard to crank it,

and it'd fight me
and sometimes I'd swear at it,

but the meat wound up having
a little bit more texture,

you know what I mean?
More complexity.

More like it had
been through something.

I mean, it had been through
a grinder, obviously,

but, I don't know,
maybe it's all in my head.

I-I g-I guess I just,
I miss that grind.

I-I need that grind.

I mean, you know, it's kind of
a metaphor for life, really.

We get... we get older
and it beats us up,

but we also get more textured,
more complex, more...

more beautifully ground up
into delicious burgers.

So, you want to return it?

Y-Yes. Please.

-There's a restocking fee.
-Yup, yup, I figured. Okay.

And you saw the line
of people behind you.

Oh! Oh, my God.

Uh, sorry. Sorry.
Sorry about that.

-♪ ♪
-[host] If you think
your stuff is

tough enough,
we want to see your audition.

I think this is it,
I think this is the part.

I-- There she is!

-[all cheering]
-[phone rings]

[laughs] Yes! Yes, we saw it.

We just saw it.
We were all watching.

You-- Yeah, you looked amazing.

I know. I know, I'm sorry you
didn't get picked for the show.

Oh, I know, I'm--
But yeah, but yeah,

you were on the show,
technically.

That's right!
Uh, I didn't see a nipple.

You thought
you could see your nipple?

Oh, it's a good thing.
Oh, yeah--

Oh, then yeah. Yeah,
it looked good, it looked good.

Aw, what the hell.

[breathing heavily]

Here it goes.

Oh, God. [straining]

Holy split! I'm down!

I did it. I did it.
Bob! Kids!

Come look!
I'm doing a split!

-[Louise whoops]
-[Gene and Tina] Yay, mom!

[Linda]
But hurry up. Oh, hurry up.

I need a little help up.
Mama's stuck. Mama's stuck.

-[Tina] Oh, okay.
-[Gene] On our way.
-[Bob] Yup, yup, coming.

♪ Pump up the Gayle,
pump her up ♪

♪ While your feet are stompin' ♪

♪ And the Gayle is pumpin' ♪

♪ Look ahead,
the Gayle is jumpin' ♪

♪ Pump the Gayle a little more ♪

♪ Get the Gayle going
on the Gayle floor ♪

♪ See, 'cause that's
where the party's at ♪

♪ And you'd find out
if you Gayle that ♪

♪ I want ♪

♪ A Gayle to stay ♪

♪ Get your Gayle on the Gayle
tonight ♪

♪ Gayle my day ♪

♪ Gayle my, Gayle my day,
Gayle ♪

♪ Pump up the Gayle ♪

♪ Pump her, pump her,
pump her, pump her ♪

♪ Yo, pump her up. ♪

Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT

and TOYOTA.