Original subtitles

- [Narrator] Tonight on Wiseguy.

- Help turn the government over to my leadership,

and I'll restore sanity to the country.

I am a sane man.

- That son of a bitch was trying to hypnotize me.

And if he's Quimbanda sect, I wanna know about it

before my face is stuck to a voodoo doll.

- There are lots of people who would like

to see me take control of Ile Pavot,

and certain members of your government

have already given me their blessings.

- Who! (slapping)

(exciting music)

(stirring music)

- It's quite a unique culture,

a blend of Portugeuse, French, Brazilian,

and African influences thrown together

on a giant poppy field in the middle of the Caribbean.

- And what is the principle source

of revenue for the island?

- It used to be tourism,

but people have shied away from Ile Pavot

since Baraka took power.

We export sugar cane now.

- (scoffs) Mr. Cabra, you don't export enough sugar

to sweeten my coffee.

- Did you know the island was originally French?

Ile Pavot means the Island of the Poppies.

We don't have very much sugar.

The tourists are afraid to visit.

And Baraka owns all the owns all the poppy fields.

Something wrong, Mr. Profitt?

- You eat too much red meat.

It's bad for the heart.

- But it's good for the soul.

And what is good for the soul is good for the heart.

- [Mel] What do you want from us?

- It's very simple, Mr. Profitt.

When a dictator rapes the people,

eventually they get rid of him, am I right?

Revolution is inevitable.

Or perhaps a coup d'etat, correct?

I am offering a relatively bloodless coup.

Help turn the government over to my leadership,

and I'll restore sanity to the country.

I am a sane man.

There are many advantages to having a sane man in power.

- You still haven't told me what you want.

- I need arms and a dozen top mercenaries to lead my men.

I need $100 million to prop up the bank of Ile Pavot.

And I need you to kill a woman.

- Arms and mercenaries are easy to come by.

Why do you think I'd give you $100 million

to prop up your bank?

- Ile Pavot is a sovereign nation.

If you control the bank of a country,

then you can control many things outside of the country.

- Who's the woman?

- Emanja Mora.

She is my political opposition.

She is very popular with the communists.

She escaped after Baraka killed her family.

I have heard that she lives here in New York,

but I don't know where.

She shouldn't be hard to find.

- Well, I'm gonna consider your proposition, Mr. Cabra.

And in the meantime, thank you for dinner.

We'll talk in the next few days.

My sister and I have taken a house on Long Island.

Perhaps you'll allow us to extend our hospitality.

- Delighted.

- It's the bank of a soveriegn nation.

That's the key.

There are no federal restrictions.

International agreements can be negotiated.

We can set up our own network of covert financing.

We'd have a lot of people eating out of our hands.

- Did you see the way that animal ate?

He was letting that blood drip all over the white rice

and then sucking it up.

- He's a sloppy pig.

We won't eat with him again.

- No, no, no, he wasn't being sloppy.

He was very meticulously

decorating his white rice with red blood

and admiring the aesthetic.

- Mel, in our line of work,

people are sometimes known to have a few quirks.

- He's Macumba.

It's a Brazilian spirit cult.

Did you notice how he kept staring into my eyes,

and kept nodding his head as we talked about business?

It's a very subtle form of hypnosis.

- Who cares if he's Macumba or Tonton Macoute.

You can handle him, Mel.

That's why I brought him to you.

There's a lot of money to be made.

- What do you think, Vinnie?

- Well, I think he's askin' us to put out a lot.

But he hasn't shown us anything tangible yet.

I think we should wait and see what he can really do.

- [Mel] Do you believe in God, Vinnie?

- Yeah, sure.

- Do you believe in the devil?

- Ah, I don't know, I don't think so.

I mean, I don't think he's some guy with horns,

runnin' around or anything.

- Why is it so easy for people to believe in the light,

but not in the dark?

We live in a world of disease, squalor, global hatred.

Government leaders lie and cheat us.

And yet everybody believes there's a kindly father upstairs,

but not some guy runnin' around with horns.

- What do you believe in, Mel?

- Everything.

Do you know what Macumba is?

- No.

- It's a Brazilian syncretic religion.

It's got very strong African roots.

There's over 2,000 sects.

All of them are different.

Some play to the light, and some play to the dark.

Now, I need you to find out

which sect Cabra belongs to.

- All right, Mel.

- [Mel] And find out who that Emanja Mora is.

- Okay.

- Don't you wanna ask any questions?

- What do you care what sect Cabra belongs to?

- Because there's a lot more to this universe

than Mr. Upstairs and Mr. Downstairs.

That son of a bitch was trying to hypnotize me.

And if he's Quimbanda sect,

I wanna know about it

before my face is stuck to a voodoo doll

with pins being shoved into the eyeballs!

- Who's Cabra?

- He's a minister of finance

for this little island called Ile Pavot.

He wants Mel to finance a coup d'etat.

- (chuckles) Well, you tell Mel he's got my blessing.

The lunatic that runs that asylum

is President Natzio Baraka.

There are times he makes Idi Amin and Papa Doc

look like Ozzie and Harriet.

- Yeah, well, this Cabra's no sweetheart either.

Mel's afraid he's puttin' some kind of a hex on him.

- He's Macumba cult.

It's a kissing cousin to Haitian voodoo.

They find a person's weakness and destroy 'em mentally.

Now, Cabra and Mel get into a blood dance,

you're in for some excitement, Vince.

- Well, listen, Cabra wants us

to kill this woman named Emanja Mora.

Now, she's a political opposition.

They think she's hidin' out here in New York.

And I need the address today.

The state'll know where she is.

I'll check it out with Lillah.

You call in to the Lifeguard in a couple hours.

- Okay.

(telephone ringing)

- Sailor Hardware.

- Day code, sports section, The Harold.

Trouble, arms, Mets.

- Hey, Vinnie.

Listen, I got this dope here on Emanja Mora.

Let's see, she's 28 years old.

Here we go, currently residing at 2309 Farrell Street.

It's in Queens.

- Okay, can I get a picture?

- It'll be in the old spot with all of the usual details.

- All right.

All right, thanks.

I gotta go.

- Take me to 161st and Amsterdam.

(whistling)

(low tense music) (soft reverent chanting)

(crowd chattering)

- Excuse me.

I'm tryin' to make this stuff, feijoada.

Can you help me out?

Excuse me, any of you ladies speak English?

I'm tryin' to make feijoada.

Can you help me?

- [Woman] No follow ingles.

- Hey, thanks for your help.

I mean it sincerely.

Excuse me, can you help me?

You sure look like you speak English.

Come on, Emanja.

I know went to Queens College.

I don't wanna hurt you.

I just wanna talk to you.

Can we go somewhere?

- Well, we can talk here.

- It's kind of private.

- I'm not going with you.

I don't care what you have to say.

- Fine.

Louis Cabra wants me to kill you.

Are you sure you still don't wanna talk about this?

Why are you so important to Cabra?

- I write pamphlets and solicit aid to the rebels.

There's a strong opposition to Baraka.

And it's growing stronger.

- Yeah, but he called you the political opposition.

That sounds like a lot more than a pamphlet writer.

- Well, I am more than a pamphlet writer.

My father and brother

were the loudest anti-Baraka voices in the country,

'til he had them killed

and their bodies dragged through the streets.

When my mother saw the desecrated face of her son,

she killed herself.

My voice is a very important symbol

to the people who suffer under Baraka.

So, are you going to accept the job?

- No.

That's not my line of work anyway.

Cabra wants my people to finance a coup.

Your murder was just a side job.

(scoffing)

- So now Cabra wants it all.

And are you going to support him?

- No.

I don't like him, and my boss doesn't like him.

Doesn't look too good for Louie.

Well, I gotta go.

Thanks a lot, Emanja.

And listen, don't worry.

I'll make sure you're safe, okay.

- (sighs) So, what's the problem?

- The problem is that damn freak Cabra.

I had Mel primed, ready to paint.

Then Louis comes in and starts givin' Mel the crazy eyeball.

Now Mel's obsessing on Macumba.

You fronted this operation with a lunatic.

- We need that country, and we need Cabra.

Make this happen.

I don't care if kill Mel or play voodoo monkey paws.

There's a lot at stake here, Roger.

- No kidding, Herb.

- Okay, okay, work with Susan.

She's probably the closest thing you have to a sane ally.

And if it'll keep Cabra's biorhythms calm,

neutralize Emanja.

- Wait a minute, Buckwheat.

I don't neutralize innocent women.

- Innocent?

She's a Communist!

Hey, we lost Cuba, we lost Nicaragua.

We're not gonna lose another country!

(hand slamming)

Now, that's why you were put into place with Mel Profitt.

Ile Pavot is run by a despot.

If we don't remove him, the Marxists will.

(clapping)

(tense music)

- Save that horse crap for the high school recruits, hmm.

(unsettling music)

(door slamming)

- So I followed Cabra to this bizarre little church.

And everything was kind of skewed to the left.

- How?

- Well, there was this stained glass Jesus

with a little crescent moon over him.

- A stars?

- Yeah, yeah, there was three stars.

And the Virgin Mary had black hair.

I don't see why she shouldn't have black hair.

Just, it seemed kind of weird.

- That's Iemanja.

- [Vinnie] What?

- It's the Brazilian name for the Virgin Mary.

It's also the goddess of the sea.

Anything else?

- Yeah, there was a lot of weird artifacts.

Black candles, stuff like that.

And, oh yeah, instead of a white collar,

the priest was dressed in red and black.

- That's Quimbanda.

- What's that?

- The Quimbanda sect.

You could call it the dark side of Macumba.

Damn, that Cabra's working me!

Come here, look at this.

Look at what I found.

Look at this.

I found this in the pocket of my dinner jacket.

Cabra must've left it there when we said goodnight.

- Mel, it's just a cigar stub.

- I know what it is.

The Macumba smoke it as part of their ritual.

It's, it's, it's to change the consciousness.

It's part of the spell.

- Here, well, give it to me.

- Give it, I'll, put the spell on me.

I'll take it. - No, it doesn't work for you!

It's left for me!

It was meant for me!

- Mel, this garbage only works if you believe in it.

- I know that.

But I believe in it, Vinnie.

(sighing)

Did you find Emanja Mora yet?

- Yeah, yeah.

- I want you to bring her to me.

- For what?

- She's Cabra's enemy.

Maybe she knows how to fight him.

- Mel, she's just a simple girl.

She doesn't know anything about this weird stuff.

- But she's from that island, so she knows what weird is.

Do you know what weird is, Vinnie?

This is weird.

Those are weird, at the end of my foot.

10 of 'em, like, like little animals.

Sometimes I wanna chop 'em off.

- [Vinnie] Emanja, I need to see you.

- No, that's not a good idea.

- Please, Emanja, it's important.

I wouldn't ask if it wasn't.

- What do you want from me?

- My boss wants to meet you.

We need your here.

- Vincent, please.

Don't drag me into this.

I mean, if you're going to kill me, then just kill me.

But don't play games.

(frustrated sighing)

- Mel thinks that Louie Cabra

put some kind of a curse on him.

He wants your help.

- Look, I'm not a witch doctor.

Tell your boss to see a priest.

- Do you know what Quimbanda is?

It's a Macumba sect.

- I know what it is.

- Well, please, Emanja, trust me.

I guarantee your safety.

(receiver clicks) (tense music)

(sighing)

Emanja, this is my boss, Mel Profitt.

- Tell your driver to go north

on the Cross Atlantic Expressway.

I'll direct him from there.

- Where are we goin'?

- If you think somebody's put a curse on you,

a medium should help you, not me.

The Mae Nina will see you,

but she doesn't want to speak to you.

I will interpret.

- Oh, yeah, okay.

Well, I'll just wait in the car.

- No, no, I need you here.

Please, don't leave.

(chanting in foreign language)

(soft exotic music)

(speaking in foreign language)

- She says you have been possessed by the low spirits.

They have been called upon to fool you.

(speaking in foreign language)

Your enemy is a goat.

- Cabra.

- He draws his power from the goat spirit.

His center.

His soul.

- Well, what can I do?

How do I protect myself?

(speaking in foreign language)

LoCocco brought me into this, he better pray I get out.

(unsettling music)

(speaking in foreign language)

- [Emanja] Stare at the card.

Keep staring, and relax.

(curious music)

(mystical chiming)

(speaking in foreign language)

Mae Nina says light a blue candle every day

and pray to Sao Jao.

That's Saint John in your church.

(unsettling music)

You must tattoo your body with the image of a mermaid,

somewhere your enemy can see it.

The mermaid is the spirit of the moon and the sea.

She is called Iemanja.

She is also the Virgin Mary.

You make an act of contrition.

Give money to the poor.

- Thanks.

(crowd chattering excitedly)

- [Mel] Everybody gets a sleeping bag.

You want one, you want one?

There you go.

Everybody gets a sleeping bag.

- All right, I got one.

- Your people can control the poppies and the heroin plant.

Exporting can be handled by you, as well.

True vertical integration.

- For me,

your heroin

is like a pimple on a roach's butt.

I don't want your drugs.

- That's a beautiful tattoo.

In my country, she's called Iemanja.

The goddess of the sea.

Very powerful.

- I know.

- The heroin is just the beginning.

With control of the bank, you can control the politics.

The CIA would be very grateful to use your bank

to stop the flow of communism.

- You think poor peasants care who's ramrodding them;

the glorious flag of democracy or the tyranny of communism?

They starve either way.

I don't want control of your politics!

I'll make money off of your chaos and your madness.

And I would gladly kill any slime like you

that crosses me in business.

But I do not take sides!

(tense music)

Now, you can buy anything you want from me,

and so can your enemies.

But I don't finance dictators, I eat them.

(music grows suspenseful)

(screams)

- Mel's crystal is gone.

Get the men together

and comb every single inch of these grounds.

- It's not here.

The goat took it.

- We'll find it, Mel.

Don't worry.

Roger, get the men together.

- Roger, get Paco.

We need Paco.

- Paco is dead.

You had us kill him.

- No, Paco's not dead.

It's part of the master plan.

Now, get Greeley.

Greeley, his stars are good.

He can, he can handle it.

- Greeley is dead, too.

- My soul is in that crystal, Vinnie.

It's one

perfect

crystal.

Everything whole.

It's complete.

Please find that crystal, Vinnie.

I can't live without a soul.

I need my soul.

- Easy, Mel. (sniffles)

Easy.

We'll find it.

- We gotta kill Tommy.

He's gonna tell on us.

He's gonna tell mom.

- This clown show is gettin' old, Buckwheat.

(door clicking shut)

- Hey, Emanja, how you doin'?

- What, more hexes?

- No, no, it's a social visit.

- Well, I don't date gunrunners, or murders,

or whatever you are.

- Look, actually, I have to ask you a couple of questions.

But they're kind of personal.

Can we get outta the rain?

Why don't you come on in the car?

Please?

Listen, that, uh, that ceremony yesterday was, uh,

kind of, um--

- Unorthodox.

- Yeah, you could say that.

I was wonderin' how you knew so much about it.

- Macumba is as common to me as baseball is to you.

It's everywhere on my island.

- Hmm.

Yeah, you don't do that,

I mean, you know, you're not--

- Spiritualism is common to every religion on Earth.

But I'm not a practitioner of the magic arts.

I devote my prayer to the spirit of my brother,

my father, and my dear mother.

- I'm sorry.

- (sighs) Shouldn't you be out breaking somebody's legs

instead of terrorizing poor island women?

- No, what I should be doin' is lookin' for Mel's crystal.

He thinks Cabra stole it last night

and he's goin' out of his mind.

- Power objects are very important to those who believe.

I could tell, the way he kept touching it,

that it was his center.

- Hey, you sound like you really know your Macumba.

- It's not Macumba.

Power objects are common to everyone.

You don't have something you feel connected to?

A coin?

A rock?

Something?

- Yeah, I got this ring here.

Yeah, my mother gave it to me when my father died.

- It's beautiful.

- Thanks.

- Mel's blowing the deal.

- Why?

- He's losing it.

He's yelling at ghosts from his potty training.

- He's been that way before.

Susan will get him out.

- That boy's haunting a vegetable patch,

and he ain't never comin' out.

- Well, we need Profitt's organization.

What about Susan?

Think she can run it without Mel?

- I don't know.

The two of 'em are like a Chinese puzzle.

There might be some way to separate them,

if I could just figure it out.

It's a dangerous gamble, though.

- Take it.

- (laughs) That's easy for you to say, Herb.

- We have any other choice?

- [Emanja] You know, Vincent,

you don't seem like a leg-breaker to me. (laughs)

- Well, I'm not.

- Well, listen, I'd invite you up,

but my aunt doesn't like me to bring home gangsters.

- Okay, well, I'll see you later then.

- [Emanja] Mm-hmm.

Vincent.

(water bubbling)

(gasps)

No.

(mutters)

(gasps)

No. (sobs softly)

(screaming)

(pained yelling)

(gun banging)

- Let's get out of here, come on.

(gun banging)

(suspenseful music)

(engine rumbling) (tires squealing)

(gun banging)

I need McPike right now.

- No, he got called to Washington, DC with Warfare.

What's wrong, Vinnie?

- Somebody tried to hit Emanja.

They killed her aunt.

- (sighs) You have any idea who it was?

- Who the hell knows.

We gotta do something right now.

- All right, all right.

Calm down, Vinnie, I'm on the case.

I'll have McPike up here tonight.

You gotta give me a couple of hours.

- All right, all right.

I'll take her to my brother's church.

But get somebody out there in 20 minutes, you got it?

- All right, I got it.

- Thanks.

(uneasy music)

This is my brother Pete's church.

He's out of town for awhile.

But you can stay in Father Timothy's old meditation room.

Me and Pete used to hide out in here,

smokin' cigarettes after choir practice.

Hey, you'll be safe in here.

- What's going to happen to me?

- I don't know.

Listen, I'll go get you some food, okay.

You just stay here.

- No, I'm not hungry.

Stay with me for a minute?

- [Vinnie] It's gonna be all right.

(engine rumbling)

(tires squealing)

(unsettling music)

(music turns eerie)

(faint chanting)

Hey, Louie.

That was some little dance.

- What are you talking about?

I want you out of here right now.

- Come on, Louie.

I saw you do that little rumba with Mickey Mouse's cousin.

Where you goin'?

Where are you goin'?

- You're making a big mistake.

- Yeah?

Well, it wouldn't be the first time.

Now, why don't you st tellin' me what's goin' on?

- Don't you know?

- All I know is when you show up, things get real peculiar.

Now, somebody tried to kill Emanja Mora, and it wasn't us.

Now, who was it?

- The CIA.

(scoffing)

(slapping)

- Now, let's try it again.

- You're a bit slow, aren't you?

- Yeah.

Yeah, why don't you try to speed it up for me, huh?

Come on.

- There are lots of people who would like

to see me take control of Ile Pavot.

There's plenty of money for fools, like you and Mel Profitt.

The people of the island

would prefer any president to Baraka.

And certain members of your government

have already given me their blessings.

- Who?

Who, who?

- Roger LoCocco.

(tense music)

You cheap fool.

(crashing)

(screaming)

(glass shattering)

(tense music)

(music intensifies)

- I've seen the abyss.

I smell the stench.

I can make out muddled people in the slime,

all naked, and faces furious.

You know, I wonder how many up above now count themselves

as great kings.

Who will wallow here like pigs in slime?

(faint sobbing)

- Mel.

Mel, hold on, please.

We'll find the crystal.

Hold on.

- Nothing's forever.

Every day, a little death.

We always knew.

- No!

We are forever, you and me.

We're forever.

Look at me!

Look at me.

- We always knew.

We always knew.

(ragged breathing)

(groaning)

- Mr. LoCocco.

This came for you a few hours ago.

- Thank you.

- [Susan] He can't see you now.

- Shh.

Mel.

Mel.

(curious music)

It's over, Mel.

(music grows tense)

(crashing)

(unsettling music)

You're free, Susan.

You're free.

(stirring music)

- (sighs) The CIA's behind Cabra's coup.

- I know.

But it's not the CIA.

It's a separate group with CIA connections.

- How do you know?

- When Lillah and I expressed an interest in Emanja Mora,

we were whisked off to Washington, DC,

where we were told, in no uncertain terms,

to back the hell off.

- Well, who are these people?

- I don't know.

The Pentagon.

Corporate, NSC, whoever they are, they're well hidden.

- Well, I know who their man in New York is.

- Who?

- Roger LoCocco.

Yeah, Cabra told me just before his half gainer.

Hey, Frank.

You think LoCocco knows I'm a fed?

- No.

Lillah and I backed off to protect your cover.

I had to take a man off Emanja Mora.

- Are you tellin' me there's nobody watchin' her?

- Yeah.

- Well, Frank, nobody else knows that Cabra's dead.

They might still be after her.

- [Frank] Vince!

Vince!

Vinnie.

(engine rumbling) Vin!

(tires squealing) Vince!

(unsettling music)

(strange whooshing)

- Send me home.

(music grows tense)

Send me home.

(ragged breathing)

(music swells)

(soft sobbing)

- I love you.

I love you.

(tires squealing) (suspenseful music)

- It was you.

You did it.

- No, you're wrong.

I was living with my poor aunt when you pulled me into this.

I told you to stay away from me.

- No, no, no.

You killed Cabra.

- I defended myself.

What was I supposed to do?

Stay and wait for you to come and save me?

Men with guns came into my house

and killed the last member of my family.

You made me take your boss to the Mae Nina.

It was you who brought this to me.

You dragged me into this.

This is your mess!

- Roger.

- Cabra's dead.

- He is, Roger, I saw it.

- How?

- He took a dive out the window.

- Did you get the crystal I sent you?

- You stole Mel's crystal?

- When Mae Nina hypnotized you at the ceremony yesterday.

- Nobody hypnotized me.

- How do you think I got the crystal?

- [Roger] Why'd you send it to me?

- Every tyrant has a hungry right hand.

I knew it wasn't you, Vincent.

(emotional music)

(music darkens)

(music swells)

(music intensifies)

- Mel's dead.

- What happened?

- I wasn't there.

I got there just as Susan was lightin' the funeral pyre.

She was too rattled.

I couldn't get anything out of her.

- Well, it must have been her or LoCocco.

- I don't know.

- Well, who else would have killed him?

Then we got two suspects.

If it was Susan, then it was just a simple murder.

- Yeah, but if it was LoCocco,

it's a CIA conspiracy.

(tense music)

(exciting music)

(rousing music)