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Richard Fountain: son of the foreign secretary
and brilliant young Oxford don
enjoys sailing with his pupil, Bob Kirby
He's unofficially engaged to Penelope Goodrich,
daughter of Walter Goodrich,
provost of Lancaster College.
Fountain is an authority on Greek mythology
and is at present in Greece,
researching material for a book on Minoan rites.
I was informed by the Foreign Office that reports had been received from Greece
that Richard Fountain was involved with a group of people
suspected of drug and other criminal offences.
As neither government wanted a political scandal on their hands,
I was asked to investigate the matter.
I felt sure there had been a mistake.
The information certainly didn't fit with the Richard I knew.
We had met some years ago
when we were both undergraduates at Oxford.
Richard was Walter Goodrich's protรฉgรฉ,
and after his finals was offered a post as lecturer at Lancaster College.
I had since been told how Goodrich had attempted to organise
both Richard's private and professional life.
So as a first step, I decided to visit Oxford
and try to find out more about the state of mind he was in
before he went to Greece.
Hello, Mr Seymour!
Nice to see you again Parker
Nice to have seen you sir
- Seymour, how are you? - Very well, good to see you again
Glad you could make it
Our brother still gives the best parties at Oxford
We're worried about Richard
We were expecting him back from Greece two days ago
Richard may not get back from Greece
What's that I hear about Richard?
I'm so sorry, we haven't been introduced: Bob Kirby
Bob is Richard's star pupil
How do you know so much about Richard?
- I had a phone call from Richard's father. - Typical
Bloody socialist ministers
His father may be Foreign Secretary,
but he has no sense of protocol
- Why didn't he call me? - It's all a mystery.
Well it's all a bit vague,
the Foreign Office called me as well
The Foreign Office?
Yes, apparently Richard's in some sort of trouble
- What kind of trouble? - The Greek authorities
But he would have written to me
What did he do? He took a Greek colonel.
Don't be facetious Marc
- He does have quite a temper - Richard's not violent
His only fight now is to get to the top of this college
and succeed me when I retire
The youngest Oxford provost ever
The facts are that someone in the government is worried
What about?
The possibility of an international scandal
I readily agreed with Penelope and Bob Kirby insisted on coming to Greece with me,
feeling that their knowledge of Richard would be useful
so we left next day on the first available flight
A scandal could be extremely damaging politically, and for Richard's career
- Career? - Oh don't start on that kick again Bob!
You think he dug every little scheme that
you and your father made for him, don't you?
Daddy helped Richard a lot!
Oh come on, you've done your share of pushing too!
- You're just jealous - Of what?
Now shut up, both of you
You've done nothing but argue ever since we left England
You said you wanted to help Richard!
I do. - Then help him
Behave like adults or go home
On arrival in Athens, I went straight to see my contact there,
the British military attachรฉ Derek Longbow
Does Penelope know?
Not the full details, obviously, because of security
But I think she might be quite useful
- She and Richard are going to get engaged. - Oh!
I think she's going to be in for a bit of a shock
What do you know about this girl that Richard's keeping company with?
Chriseis Konstantinini
- I met her in a party. - Where?
- At Johnny Katamandris' - Katamandris... Katamandris...
I'm afraid I've rather lost touch with the Greek social scene, Derek
- Could you fill me in? - A jet set
Johnny Katamandris is the son of Colonel Katamandris,
their Minister of the Interior
Along with our Foreign Secretary's son, it makes quite a party
But Richard was in Mykonos, getting on with his research!
Strange kind of research, with that lot!
What do you think's going on, some kind of intrigue? Blackmail?
Isn't that what you're here to find out?
And you've got to help me Derek
- How's Richard mixed up with that crowd? - I've no idea
but I understand they're always together
Cable Richard to stay put in Mykonos, til we get there
* Baby, don't you flash your evil eyes at me *
* I know you'd like to get your clutches into me *
* Better learn to cast your spell some other way *
* Always trippin' out your mind is made to waste *
* Well I don't want to taste the evil that you taste *
* You don't know what glove could ever guide your hand *
Eleni!
* Screams *
* Siren *
* Praying in Greek *
Did you tell her yet?
Well if you haven't now's the time
we don't want an emotional scene in public, do we?
Tell her!
If Richard's on the dockside to greet us with the girl...
Yes, yes I see your point
I'll go and tell her
- Hello Penelope - Hello
Penelope, when all this started and I got the details about Richard,
there was something I didn't tell you
- What? - Well it seems there's another woman
Her name is Chriseis
- Don't you think you've had enough? - Mind your own business
Penelope, I know you're hurt about the girl, but you must try...
Excuse me
- I've been to the villa - And?
- They've gone - Well where to?
Uh... destination unknown
* Police talk in Greek *
- I gave that to Richard - Well what is it?
A sort of... charm
- Where did you find it? - At the police station
They have files on all their guests
especially those who leave without paying their bills
Evidently all they left up in their room was this
And this notebook... It must make some sense
Ariston men hydor... Water is best
What on earth is Richard running away from?
Whatever it was, they were in a desperate hurry
- Why, the police? - No, us
Perhaps he's heard you and I are here too
He wouldn't like that, would he?
- Now he's got Chriseis - Chriseis is your hang up
Is she? Oh come on Bob, we've both failed Richard
He doesn't want either of us now!
Just because you couldn't make it with him!
I'll take care of her, leave her to me
- Look, this isn't getting us anywhere - She's pushing her luck!
Alright, so she's upset about the girl, but if...
- You, uh... couldn't make it? - What?
That's what you said to Penelope, wasn't it?
- What couldn't she make? - Richard
- Is that a guess or do you know? - Know! Well... he told me
He was very depressed, and... well, it all came out
And incidentally, I'm not homosexual you know
- And there was nothing between Richard... - No, no I understand
It goes much deeper than that
Richard never told you, or Penelope, but...
he's never made it with anyone
I refuse to continue this conversation any further, will you please leave my room
Oh yes, I'm getting through to you, aren't I?
I know what you wanted from Richard... Prestige, status,
your face in the glossy magazines
"The honourable Lady Fountain entertains"
You do talk a lot of rubbish
I don't give a damn what you want
- What I want is to find Richard - So do I
- Well will you stop fighting me? - Are you going?
- No! - Right. Then I am
Ice sweeties?
Help! Help! Help!
* Siren *
* Woman shouts in Greek *
... theory is that Richard believes that Walter Goodrich caused his impotence
Ha ha
I can imagine that type of classic resentment happening here,
in the theatre of Minas
So of those Minoan rites were, to the say the very least of it, unsavoury
But you can hardly believe that Minoan rites could take place in Oxford
Can you imagine a don being castrated by the provost?
It's really metaphorical. You see, the promise to Richard
is a symbol of the establishment
And to Richard, the establishment destroys, castrates...
For example, Richard's marriage to Penelope
or Goodrich's continual academic wheeling and dealing
- That's irrational - According to Bob, Richard came to Greece
in search of some sort of freedom
Uh huh
- To seek his manhood - Oh!
Well, they say that this climate works wonders for that sort of thing
Maybe Bob's African background has given him a sort of vivid imagination
- Do you think he was right? - I'm not sure
- Hydra... - Hydra?
I knew there was something... A couple of years ago
there was a scandal... It involved Johnny Katamandris
It was pretty bad...
I think that Richard left this notebook for us to find
Yes, go on
He could have been taken to Hydra, possibly against his will
Why Hydra?
Some ancient religious cults... cruel, vicious
are rumoured to still exist on the island now
despite denials by the Greek Orthodox church
Wait a minute... Didn't Hercules sack the city of Hydra
because of the vicious behaviour of its inhabitants?
Yes... That's mythological history, of course.
On the other hand, history does have a way of repeating itself
* Policeman speaks Greek, asks for Major Longbow *
Ego
* Policeman and Longbow speak Greek *
* Policeman speaks Greek *
This old woman's daughter was murdered
* Policeman speaks Greek, mentions Richard Fountain *
What was that he was saying about Richard?
The police want to question him, seeing as there were similar occurrences
in Corinth and Mykonos when Richard was there
* Policeman speaks Greek *
The inspector wants to know whether to charge the old woman
No, no charges. Can you let her go?
Okey dokey.
* Policemen speak Greek *
- Where are they taking her? - To the hospital
She'll be well taken care of
* Policeman speaks Greek, mentions Richard Fountain *
- Do we know where Richard is? - No
We needed help if we were to find Richard quickly
so we contacted Colonel Stavros of the Greek intelligence
I can assure you, Colonel, that we'll stick to our side of the bargain
Good! I'm sure Mr Fountain's father, such a friend of Greece, would not wish him
involved on any scandal on Greek soil
We'll try and have Fountain out of the country within 48 hours.
Excellent
Now we must go to the airport. I have placed a helicopter at your disposal.
- Efharisto, Colonel - Hm! You are very welcome
I have instructed the Mayor of Hydra to give you every assistance
- Thank you very much Colonel. Goodbye! - Goodbye
* Priest prays in Greek *
- Where did the mayor go? - Next transport
All this red carpet treatment...
I'm beginning to think that Richard is a reincarnation of Lord Byron
The authorities are faced with a major problem
- Whatever Richard's been up to... - Murder?
Don't be so dramatic Penelope, there's no proof
However, obviously Richard's been involved in some kind of scandal...
with a very important Greek
The Greek government are just as anxious as we are to get Richard out of the country
I bet... Anything to save some Greek VIP
A habit which, I fear, is not the exclusive province of the Greeks
Suppose it was murder?
* Woman singing *
* Boy speaks Greek *
I see... And where does that path lead to?
The monastery... Haematos Christou
If it was Richard he's sick
They've taken him to the monastery of the blood of Christ
Well thank you very much Yannis for your help and transport
Bye!
Not far now
Well don't you see, Tony? Hydra: the hundred-headed monster
Each head, when it was cut off, grew again
by nature of some power derived from its central body
A kind of infection, guaranteeing immortality
- But that's mythology - But doesn't it remind you of any cult or superstition?
It reminds me of all superstitions...
Christianity, for one
The Abbott says that in fact Chriseis did bring him up here to be cured
but the monks have treated him
- Cured? What from? - An ancient sickness
Go on.
Apparently, she doesn't want him to be cured, merely to be kept alive
Now he says that he thinks that she loves him
but that when she has no further use for him she'll cast him off
* Abbott speaks Greek *
Then let him die
Now, what's he talking about? Do you know what he means?
I think I do...
Centuries ago, the people of Hydra brought this curse to the island
The monks tried to fight it
and in so doing found a cure for it
What form does this curse or sickness take?
It's... to do with the blood
Are you alright Penelope?
Yes, I think I'll just go for a walk
She looked a bit sick, maybe I should go with her
No, stay where you are
* Abbott speaks Greek *
* Abbott speaks Greek *
No, I'll be alright, thank you
Yes... The Abbott says they took this mountain pass
Where does it lead to?
To that old fort up there
A journey of about two, three hours
Two or three hours? It's only five miles, we can use the Landrover
It's not passable, it's just a mule track
* Screams *
* Abbott speaks Greek *
What's that all about?
The monks' cells are normally out of bounds to women
but in this case the Abbott has given his permission
You didn't just leave him there did you?
- Leave who there? - Richard
He was lying there... Dead
- Where? - In the temple, out there
You come with me
- Look! - What happened?
The monks make some great moonshine
You were suffering from wine plus sunshine, nothing worse
You just take it easy now
- You don't have to go do you? - I must. The Abbott will look after you
- Take me with you - Now you rest
We'll be back as soon as we can, and with Richard
Thank you
* Abbott speaks Greek *
* Chriseis whispers in Greek *
* Chriseis whispers in Greek *
Richard... Richard...
* Chriseis whispers in Greek *
* Chriseis shouts in Greek *
* A scream *
No!
Are you alright? Put this on
Tony! He's in a trance!
- They've taken the mules - They've what!?
Bastards!
- We'd better carry him down - In the dark?
- No we wait til dawn - Could you take the two kids with you?
- Right - Pick up Penelope at the monastery...
and get her off the island
And Richard?
I don't want Penelope to see him like this
Bob?
He's awake
I got your cable in... Mykonos
I wanted to stay til you came, but...
Chriseis's influence was too strong
I found myself... speaking in riddles
I was trying to cheat her...
or you
I don't know
It was a pretty crazy riddle
"Ariston men hydor"
Hydo... Hydra... You understood
It was Derek Longbow
A classical education still has its uses
- Where's Chriseis? - She's gone
- Try to sleep - You must watch for her
She'll be back
He's too weak to travel
He's too sick to be carried down in this condition
I'll just have to pick up any sort of transport I can get.
Wait
- Where are you going? - Down to Hydra. To make some arrangements
- To get us out of here - You can't go... Not yet
Anyone...
I must... protect you...
- Bob? - Yes?
Take me outside... Place me facing the mountains
Please...
Alright
O Zeus...
Put strength back into my limbs
Grant a safe passage to our friends..
and deliver us from the evil...
O great father of the gods...
send us a sign...
What's this all about?
All this looking up at the sky seems to be placating the gods
* High-pitched wail *
* High-pitched wail *
Take care Derek
Look out!
The eagle!
The eagle
The eagle - did you see the sign?
- Didn't you count? - Count what?
There are six people here...
and the eagle only swooped five times
I'll get back as soon as I can
That means one of us must die here...
...soon
I couldn't fight her
I thought that she loved me
I loved her
I thought she was the escape I was looking for
but even then I couldn't...
- I couldn't... - You don't have to tell us
I must...
in case she comes back
Go on, Richard
I couldn't...
make love to her
But Chriseis said it didn't matter
She said there were other things
What things, Richard?
If we're going to help you, we must know
- Where is Richard? - I told you... at the fort
Now don't worry, Richard is going to be alright
You said in a state of shock! Don't try to hide anything Derek, how bad is he?
Well he's suffering from some kind of hallucination
It would be better if he didn't see you until he was in England
Now you go home, and say nothing
That won't be difficult if you don't explain!
Oh I wish I knew what the hell was happening. What am I going to tell father?
Absolutely nothing! Just tell him that Richard was taken ill,
and Tony will explain it all later
Now bon voyage, have a good trip!
- Bye! - Bye bye!
- I need your help - Of course
* Speaks Greek *
- Athens - Athens?
They don't trust us to carry out their instructions.
Why?
They sent someone to interfere
- He is waiting for you there. - Oh!
Colonel Stavros
What did you find?
Well, uh... it was some kind of orgiastic ritual
- And Fountain? - He wasn't involved
He was in a hypnotic trance
You expect us to accept that story?
In Corinth, Mykonos, Crete, Fountain was merely an...
- ...an accessory after the fact - Yes
Major, this is an order. Get Fountain out of Greece not one minute...
That's exactly what we intend to do
Uh... we need to use your helicopter again
- In the mountains? - We can take landing panels
Very well
- I will help you all I can - Thank you, Colonel
Derek's taking his time, hope there's nothing wrong
The whole thing is wrong... but you can't see it
Now look, I've been through the whole syllabus
of sexual deviation, if you know, tell me
Look, I might as well put on a headdress, some
warpaint, and dance around you three times
You'll never believe it
Swooping eagles!
Monks with phoney cures! Ritualistic murder!
There's got to be a perfectly logical explanation, not this mumbo jumbo!
Mumbo jumbo! I suppose you don't believe in superstition?
No
- Never walked around a ladder? - Never
Or thrown salt over your shoulder?
* Speaks Greek *
Alright... what's your explanation?
- Dependence - What?
Dependence! Richard came to Greece in search of freedom
The plan backfired, and he became dependent on Chriseis
because she's the inheritress of an ancient and obscene practice
Come on Bob! In this day and age?
Look, only a year back, a man was sacrificed in a London park
You've got your witches' covens in Mayfair, voodoo in Soho, how do you explain that?
Logic?! Science?!
* Groaning, screaming *
* Calling for help *
This way!
Must be Chriseis! Go back!
Give me your hand!
* Chriseis screams *
Derek! Find a foothold!
* Chriseis screams *
* Derek screams *
Bob...! Bob...! Bob!
- You've killed her - It was an accident
We've got to get off the island fast... Help me with Richard
She's not dead yet!
What the hell are you trying to do you bloody fool!
It was an accident... What do you want to do, make it murder?
Hours seemed to pass before the helicopter arrived to pick us up
We had a difficult time convincing the authorities in Athens with our story
but were finally allowed to take Richard back to England
- Hello Tony! - Oh hello Basil, how nice to see you
- Sad business - Yes
- How did in happen? - In Hydra
- Where's he buried? - Athens
He'd have liked that. Derek was fond of Greece. You know when I...
Basil, lovely to see you again, but I must dash. Let's have dinner some time. - Yes
Richard!
- Where are you going? - Oxford
- Take care - Of course
The one man I knew who might logically explain the events in Greece
was Professor Holmstrom
Well, vampirism is a phenomenon popularly associated with central and eastern Europe
It is however, of course, universal
though happily extremely rare
The romantic aspects of vampirism we know, of course, mainly through the movies
Count Dracula and such... the immortal
bloodsucker with the overdeveloped molars...
graves opening at sunset as he goes forth on
his nightly prowl for beautiful victims...
garlands of garlic to prevent our heroine from
donating her blood to an unworthy cause...
the dreaded holy cross, blinding the eyes of our thirsty villain...
and finally, his gory demise, as the stake pierces his heart
and sends his tormented soul into another world
That's charming, isn't it?
Well, so much for the legend of vampirism, Tony
Ha, hokum I call it
You can call it what you like. I happen to have spent a whole lifetime
studying the origins of man, you see, so I know
that there is a more serious and scientific aspect
For instance, did you know that vampirism is a sexual perversion?
Erik, this is no time for jokes
Sado-masochism, my dear man, is no joke
Now, sado-masochistic perversions, as you know,
are more likely to appeal to frigid females and impotent males
This, uh... friend of yours, what's his name?
What's his sexual status?
Do you know, I really don't know
Ah... um. Well...
Example: the man is impotent
Oh, he's searching for fulfilment
He meets a girl
or, even a man I suppose
Let's skip the rather special cases of the homosexual vampire shall we?
Alright, anybody, anybody, male or female
provided... they satisfy his sexual appetites
Are you trying to tell me that...
a girl sucking blood from a man's neck...
- ... can induce an orgasm? - Yes of course!
- Huh...! Erik! - Oh no, come come Tony, don't be so naive
Man works and loves in many ways
Some men, for instance, get excitement only from statues
The Pygmalion syndrome
Other men can only make love in a coffin
You have voyeurs, transvestites, narcissists, bestialists...
Ah, it's a funny old world we live in
And, by the same token, you also have masochistic vampires
Now, if this is the case with your friend...
well, I must tell you that there is a grave risk
The best advice I can give you is to make sure that he's not reminded of it
I'll do that... I'm sure with some rest he'll recover
Back at college Richard rested
then returned to his sporting activities and studies
The shadow began to lift, and his life seemed gradually to return to normality
Now, Richard, I hope you won't mind my talking shop two weeks before term
- Even if I did it wouldn't stop you! - Quite!
I've got rather a tight schedule for you I'm afraid
First, there's your official welcome back to college at the quincentenary dinner
Lovely party Walter!
- So very glad you could come - Thank you
- I suppose I'll have to make a speech - Or just something short and witty
Then I've arranged that course of lectures for you at Manchester
In term, with all my other commitments?!
Good money, plus expenses. Help your status, dear boy
And now for our other spot of business...
your engagement to Penelope
I shall make the announcement tonight
Aren't you rather taking things for granted, sir?
I've hardly discussed the matter with Penelope.
I have
She's thrilled!
Penelope darling, I'm so delighted!
To Penelope and Richard, long life and happiness!
Cheers!
(God help them both)
I'm not even in college this term!
I've been put into some lousy boarding house on the Woodstock Road
Who arranged that?
Doctor Walter Goodrich... who else?
Bastard!
We're back to square one, Richard
Chriseis won't like that
Chriseis won't like that at all
Happy, darling?
- Yes, of course I am - How do you feel?
Look...! I must finish this chapter tonight
I'm in the way...! oh, ... I'm sorry
- I'll see you tomorrow - Alright my darling
Don't work too late
- Night, Richard - Night
* Woman singing *
* Woman singing *
* Woman singing *
* Singing voices multiply *
Chriseis?
Chriseis?
Well that's what Marc Honeydew wrote me
That your father's been putting the pressure on Richard again
- Marc Honeydew's an old woman! - Let's stick to the point, shall we?
Daddy is not putting the pressure on Richard,
he's arranging things out of kindness
Then tell your father that type of kindness can kill
Oh, stop being such a bloody bully, Tony, I'm doing my best
Well it's just not good enough... Hello? Hello...? Penelope?
Bob Kirby rang me and said it was vital I come to Oxford immediately
There were signs that Richard was beginning to crack again
Excuse me, have you seen Mr Kirby?
Mr Kirby!
Bob!
Geoff, will you excuse me a minute please?
Ok, Bob, what's all this about? Are you sure?
Quite.
But that's impossible, she just can't be...
Look I told you what we should have done in Greece
but you wouldn't listen to me
- That is over - Is it?
Alright! The point is, it mustn't get any worse
- Let's get him out of Oxford - It's Richard's speech tonight
- Speech? What speech? - The quincentenary dinner
Do you remember at the Vice Chancellor's
election, there was the most frightful scene?
Charles Crabtree, that most long-winded of orators
Oh, and talking of speeches, you will keep yours brief, won't you dear boy?
Of course.
Well, Charles's bladder had grown weak with the years...
And at the pay-off of some thirty minute anecdote of total tedium
he suddenly flew from the high table
with his gown billowing out behind him like Count Dracula's cloak
* Laughter *
Come along, Robert, time for din-dins
We mustn't keep dear Dr Goodrich waiting
In nomine beati Henrici, sit felicitas vobiscum
Nobiscum et tecum et cum spiritu beati Henrici
- You've dined in the hall before? - Yes I have
Your Royal Highness...
your Excellency...
my lords, ladies, and gentlemen
It is my very great pleasure this evening
as provost of Lancaster College in the University of Oxford
to welcome back to college our truly beloved Magistri, Richard Fountain!
Redeuntis et acclamandi
My friends!
When a man comes back from abroad, it is, as you
know, an ancient custom that he brings a message
Mine is a message of freedom!
Let us beware of those who seek to possess our bodies and our minds
for the academic world dehumanises us
and we become its natural dependents
"Love me!" says the academic, "and do exactly as I tell you"
In this protection racket of the establishment
the outsiders are labelled "them", the collective enemy
the reds, the blacks, the whites, the yellow peril...
We are brainwashed into the same hatreds of the same threats
and over the years our behaviour has become captive
and so in brotherhood we plunge to our own destruction
But the gods!
The gods have given us freedom, my friends
Do not be trapped by the petty schemes of academic hirelings
the thieves who come to take your souls
sitting among you now...
smooth deceivers...
in scarlet gowns, preparing as soon as they rise from this table
to leech onto you!
Such a man is sitting there...
or there...
or there
or there
Worst of all - there!
Richard!
But that's not all, my friends
- Use your power... exercise your... - Richard!
Enough, Richard! Enough!
Leave him alone, you've had your chance!
- Richard? Take it easy - Don't touch me
Come on!
Quiet!
Keep quiet and sit down!
I command you!
Richard!
Through there!
- Where did they go? - Come on!
* Woman singing *
Richard...
Richard...
Richard...
Make love to me...
Love me... love me Richard
Love me... kiss me... make love to me Richard
Richard...
* She screams *
In there!
My God!
Richard!
God!
* Bird shrieks *
* Richard screams *
As provost of Lancaster College in the University of Oxford...
I am empowered to act as coroner, in respect of
death which occurred within the college precincts
The privilege was granted to all provosts of this college
by our founder, King Henry VI
and has been countenanced by his royal successors
The inquest may take place in private, without the presence of the press
the police, or any other outside authority
Only the verdict need be made public
It is my verdict...
that Penelope...
that Penelope Goodrich...
and Richard Fountain...
being misused by the world, did in equal consent
take their own lives
the one by the letting of blood
the other by falling from a college building
while temporarily of unsound mind
May God...
and our beloved founder...
have pity for their souls
Officially the matter was closed
but as Bob had realised, back in Greece
I now knew there was one last act still to be carried out
I can't go through with it!
- We have to - I can't!
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