Original subtitles

Holy crap!

Holy crap!

- Holy shit, what are you doing? - It's good luck.

Keep still, it bothers me. What a hurry! I want to eat.

In a while a TV show starts.

They do proton launches, armor-piercing missiles... Goldrake!

"Mortacci tui!"

You always catch me The eye on the far right!

Here's what kind of family I got: An unfortunate wife leaves....

...and leaves me with a brother-in-law ...a treacherous bread-eater!

Dad, I told you he had a brother who was a creep.

- Nice gratitude! And me I'm your mother. - As a mother?!

You know I stayed because I disapprove of my sister.

- The truth is, you eat and drink here. - Am I an asshole? - Guess.

- Go ahead and open it up. - It's the phone.

- Then I'll go. - Come on!

- I'll get it. - Go answer it!

Damn you! Why don't you kill yourselves?

"Hallo?" This is Presta Laricchiuta residence.

- I am Nicolino. - How are you? I didn't think it was you.

- Everyone okay at home? - Sure. - How's my appointment going?

- Walk. - Let's stop her, she's been walking for three years.

- Not to shorten the time... - I'm sending Angela to study at your place.

Whatever, but there's only one quarter until the end of school.

I am sure that in a healthy healthy environment like yours...

...Angela, at least in these 3 months, will find the will to study.

Here in Rome, you get very distracted. So?

- All right. - I was sure of it. Thank you. Shall I get it started right away?

- Yes. - I would like to say hello your wife. - What wife?

As in "which wife"? Your second wife, Amalia.

My brother-in-law's wife's sister brother-in-law, we are almost related.

I call her, I don't know which wing of the house she's in.

It's in the right wing, there it is. Amalia, love?

There is Nicolino who wants to say hello.

- Are you crazy? - It's the one from the ministry, my relative.

- Say you are Amalia. - But there isn't. - You do a castrato voice.

Here she is, Nicolino, she was doing her chores.

- How are you doing, Commander? - Fine.

- How are you? - I'm fine, thanks.

- Angela is coming in tomorrow. - I'm glad. - Is that a bother?

- No disturbance. - What happened to your voice?

I have ups and lows, loose strings.

- Your mother's double bass! - Take care, my dear.

- Greetings to all. - Thanks a lot and regards to the lady. "Bye- bye."

- Dad, who is this Angela? - A relative, you don't know her.

In 1754, your great-grandfather Oronzo emigrated to America...

...and met Aunt Imelda, whom he married in Canada.

- Now she tells you the whole Bible. - I mean, she's a relative of ours.

You will sleep in the closet upstairs and she'll sleep in your room.

We missed this pain in the ass Angela!

If it looks like Nicolino who knows what kind of scorpion fish he will be.

But if she looks like mom... She's a good mom!

It has two "canopies" that drive me crazy.

Not at all! What do I care? I'm going to Fedora anyway.

That one's waiting for me... Four, five... eight!

Ah! But where... Damn you! Ah! The heel!

"Bailate, bailate!"

"Olé, guapa!"

"What's wrong with that guy tonight?"

- What do you have? - We missed Angela, my cousin.

She may be a skank!

Yes, I wish!

- When will you take me to your house? - I could use it, love.

Shall I tell you again the history of my family?

My son was a happy orphan,

then I married that wretch Amalia and he got jealous.

Amalia ran away and was offended, plus my brother-in-law is at our house.

If I bring you along, he'll be pissed off for good.

- You are the father and he is the son. - But you are not the Holy Spirit.

Begin! Tac, tac, tac. Who is the character of the week?

Tac, tac, tac.

- Tarzan! - Do you like it? - Sure. I'm your Jane!

- Go to the forest, come on! - Yes, right away...

- Tarzan, there's a crocodile! - Do you want to kill my "Jenny"?

- Help! - I'm diving into the sea! Ahh!

I broke my knee. Give me your belly, you crocodile!

Tisquarcio. Blood of crocodile, I become mandrill. Here is the monkey.

- What are you doing, crocodile? - Yeah, that's right. - You want to get away from me?

Do you want to get on top of me? No, I'm going to get on top of you!

You wretch, you want to kill Jenny?

I'll give you 40 stabs, 57 stabs, 84 stabs!

- Yes, like that! - 91... How many stab wounds? I want to give one.

One and good. What do I care? Here, crocodile!

The gentlemen travelers who have taken the train to Cerignola...

...please to get it back on the first track.

Travelers coming from Rome have a connection...

- Here she is! - My niece is a student, that's a nun.

I know him a nun who is always studying.

- Nicolino is a Christian Democrat. - What the fuck... - Amen. - Peace and good.

If he were a Republican, would his daughter Would she dress in ivy leaves?

- Is the mail coming? - Here it is. We finished a hand of tresette.

- Come on, unload. - Now they put the mail inside the suitcases?

No, general, this is my stuff.

During the trip, the young lady peeled us off at tresette.

- This must be it. - "Mortacci, how good it is"! - That's what I say.

- Hi, you're Pasquale, right? - "Bella mia"!

- No, Uncle Pasquale is me. - Oh, sorry. - "Bella di zio tuo"!

- You don't look like a priest, You look like a chubby kid. - Not so much.

- "Asshole." - Did you see that? - What silhouettes! Uh, Bartolomeo!

Miss, forget the bird.

I traveled with him to not leave him alone in the trunk.

- Is it a crow? - It's an Indian blackbird and it can talk.

- Hello, bitches. - He recognized us.

Prof. Cacioppo arrives.

Good morning, guys!

- Was it you? - No, it was him. - But I...

- Did you do that? - Sorry, Dad... - Dad, my ass!

- Go to your places, assholes! You come here. - Me? - Come here.

We're even.

Hi, guys!

Good, good, sit.

This young lady is Angela Mancinelli.

She is my niece and your classmate for this quarter.

Thank you. All right, all right, thank you.

Enough. We are not the Sanremo Festival!

Sit here.

I wanted to tell you something else: I am very well known...

- You're a stunner. Welcome. - What's your name? - Irma.

I'm known for my calmness, but if I get pissed, holy shit...

...I will break you and I'll break your heads, got it?

Was it you? Damned debauches!

Good thing that today you didn't pull your usual prank today.

- They did, professor. - Mr. Principal, are you here? - Yes.

Next time, come on time, so these exchanges don't happen.

I have been...

#♪ A little cold ♪ #

# But I got the shot! #

If you get pissed, sing along, professor.

- Goodbye. - Sorry.

Why are you laughing?! Quiet!

I don't want to to hear a "fly"!

This is cappuccino time. Now comes Salvatore.

Well!

- A...me... rica... - We, uh... Him? Me?

Both.

Come here, you. Give me the rubber band. Open your hands... Open your hands!

- Ouch! - Go to the post.

Shut up... that... I said zi... shut up that he...

"What, you want to fuck me?"

Mom!

Those who are pre--prepared, come.

- Professor! - You! Mi... miracle!

What a miracle! I just wanted to say that yesterday Gino saw a UFO.

- Oh, yeah? How was it? - How was it, Gino?

Nice, big, round.

- Was he fe... fe... fe... - Was he dumb? - No, was he still?

- Yes, then he sent a beam of blue light. - And what a light it was!

Beautiful, and where did you see it?

- Towards the sea. - They always fool him with UFOs.

- The professor is a fixer. - They're nice kids.

- Your cousin Marco is cute, isn't he? - The others aren't bad either.

He is the cutest, and I'm his girlfriend.

- Why don't you stay in the same desk? - He doesn't know yet.

Forget about crap like interrogation.

I want to explain the ga... ga...

- The chickens? - The galaxies!

# They are called galaxies those systems in space. #

# Thousand armies of stars. #

# A hundred billion in a mass Of gas and dust too!" #

Bravo! Bravo!

- Savior! - Ah!

Oh, I'm so sorry! Now come on up.

- I hurt myself. - Tell me what the the fuck you were doing at the door.

I used to tune it with the choirboy because it dropped half a tone.

- I have a sensitive ear. - How come How come? Did you do Santa Cecilia?

You're handsome, you're sweet, I like you. What a great tie, it's striped.

Let's go to the light, I am a presbyterian principal.

- Pure! - I'll get my glasses. It's a nice tie.

- Look at that. It has crooked lines, Now we'll straighten them. - Help!

Don't react! I am the principal and you are the janitor, you are a subordinate.

- If you react, I'll kill you. - Sure you will. - Look at that.

- Salvatore, maybe they rang at the door. - "Beep!" "Beep!"

Is that you? Did you swallow the choirboy?

I'm glad!

Every time you screw up, I can spot you.

- Go clean the toilets! - "Beep, beep, beep!"

This doesn't sit well with me.

He has the face of a cruiser, of a traitor, like Judas "Iscariotola".

The last dinner we'll have together, he will kiss me and betray me.

- Bye, see you tomorrow. - Don't hit on Marco. - Okay.

- Hi, we haven't introduced ourselves. - We have time.

- Your father wants you to take me. - He wants to keep his distance.

- Lucky him! - I wonder what they're up to tonight.

- They won't do anything, Marco has other things to think about. - Bitch.

It's on its way. All right. Drop the cigarette!

Today maybe my dream comes true, to become a band director.

Silence. Let me make a good impression with the mayor. Attention!

- Morning. - Commands. Shhh!

Dear Principal.

- Sorry. - Thank you for being part of our city complex.

- It is a lesson for us and a source of pride. - Thank you.

I too am happy to serve the stave of this band,

belonged to the late master Michele Sciasciamocca.

To him I address a "ladle" remembrance, we will have 50 minutes of recollection.

Now let's talk about more cheerful things.

Now you will tell us the name Of the new bandmaster...

Dear friends, I now announce the name of the new master.

He is a great talent who works here and has a diploma as a band master

obtained at the conservatory of Naples.

To him I entrust the direction of the band. Come, maestro.

Thank you.

Morning.

Here is Judas "Iscariot." He has come to collect the thirty denarii.

God, I think I'm dying!

- Friends, I present the master Salvatore Pinzarrone. - Thank you.

Come, Dean. One more word.

I emphasize the dedication and the democratic sense democratic sense of Prof. Laricchiuta,

who, faithful to the musical discipline,

is happy to humbly place himself at the orders of his janitor.

Goodbye and good work to all.

- Here we go. First of all, good morning. - Good morning.

- You go ahead. - Please.

- Go, go! - I'm going, I'm going. - Yes, go.

Put yourself in your place. I guess the principal is a little jealous.

What do you guys have in your repertoire?

In the refectory, we have pasta and beans.

We're off to a good start!

I was saying, what do you have in your repertoire?!

- Everything, even the triumphal march of Aida. - Let's start with that one.

Take care, guys, a rigorous entrance.

All together, okay? Ready? One, two and three!

ALT!

I don't hear the bass in "E."

- Mr. Principal, maybe you don't know it? - I know it, I know it.

I know Giuseppe Verdi by heart, maestro!

Teacher and Director.

All right, back to one. One, two... and go!

The highest bass!

Louder the bass!

So we're out of time. I love the "pa... ta"...

# Pa, ta, pa, ta, pa, pa, pa, pa, ta, ta... #

- Yes. - Because the "pa" is the bass note. - Right.

You need to count the down time. Ready? One, two...go!

- Now that's music. - Asshole, boor!

- Bravo! - Asshole, scumbag, cuckold!

Bravo, bravo! That's it!

- Cocky, shitty! - Bravo, bravo!

Is it possible that it's not there? Mah!

Angela? Angela?

Angela?

Blessed mother, what a "butt"!

What nipples!

Holy shit, a guy comes into the bedroom to have a conversation...

...and expects to find her in a fur coat or a coat....

...but this one only has skin.

Why do you always think of that? You suck, my Pasquale!

You have it here, the feminists are right.

"Repressed male, we will cut off your sex!"

"You're ugly, you're mule, you'll take it in the c... "

What time is it? I'd better go.

This one is still good, though.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! Don't escape me, there's time anyway.

Where do you go on those "canopies", for "canopies"?

I'm going to Fedora now. I am sweating like a New Zealand crocodile.

I go to Fedora and make four.

One dressed as a Red Corsair, one dressed as Dracula...

Let's leave it at that.

- Thief! - It wasn't me!

What thief? You wretch! It's me, don't you recognize me? Shut up!

A double! I killed it.

Angela! Angela! Angela!

Armor-piercing missiles! Proton beams! Come on!

"But the hell with it... "

Give it a kick or a bump on the head!

Oh my God, that one wakes up!

- How did you come up with that? - Never mind, but speak softly.

- Does it hurt? - A little.

I see the key moving and it's clear that I get scared.

- It was like a horror movie. - I'm sorry, but...

- What did you have in mind? Don't you think ...about Irma? - What about her?

You don't have to wrong her And I don't like subterfuge.

If a guy has intentions, let him tell me.

I just wanted to go out the window.

Dad goes out and locks the front door.

This was my room and it's easy to get out of here.

Isn't there another window?

No, it's the only one near the grate. It's like a ladder.

- Did you really just want to come by? - I swear. - You wanted to hang out with Irma?

What about Irma? I go out every night to play with friends.

If my dad knows, he'll kill me.

- Your mother doesn't know? - She died when I was born.

- So, the one in the mud bath isn't your mother? - She's the stepmother.

It's not in the mud, it's gone, but Dad wants to keep up appearances.

- Marco? - Yes?

- You're a good boy. - I'm going, or or you'll break another vase over my head.

He didn't even try. This place where he plays must be cool.

- Did you come to see? - Hi.

- You are strong, but there is no one to help you out? - He's at the bar.

- That's one deadbeat. - What time do you play "The Silence"?

- Give us a hand you. - Do you know "Whatever you want, with whom you want"?

- How not. - Now I'm going to play you a fantastic song.

It's a dizzying rhythm of the international disco-music.

It is entitled "As You Wish, With Whom You Wish."

# Easy to stay out of it, be tough and say no. #

# Easy to stand by and watch, for all I know. #

# Lay aside to sleep, only half laughing. #

# Better make love and go in search of happiness. #

# When you want, how you want #

# Whatever you want, with whomever you want #

# When you want, how you want #

# Wherever you want, with whomever you want #

# When you want, with whom you want if you want it, where you want it, how you want it. #

- # Wherever you want, with whomever you want # - ♪ Where you want, with whom you want #

# I say rather than nothing better everything and now here. #

# Better an overbearing yes or no, than a half-and-half "no." #

# Better a risk of a rip-off, than an identity crisis. #

# As long as you breathe an emotion pure, without ifs and buts. #

# When you want, how you want where you want, with whom you want. #

# When you want, with whom you want if you want it, where you want it, how you want it. #

- # Wherever you want, with whomever you want # - ♪ Where you want, with whom you want #

Sit down! Quiet!

I see a new student.

- I am Angela Mancinelli and I come from Rome. - I was already informed.

- Repeat offender? - If he was informed, he should know. - Witty.

It's also a lot of fun. Come on in, have a seat.

Let's see what condition it's in.

I'm not referring to the physical ones, which I think are excellent.

Witty, but not very funny.

Silence. I see you have your line ready.

- Let's put aside the skirmishes and get down to business. - Sure.

We are reviewing the program from the second year. What do you remember?

- It was very boring. - Do you prefer modern history? - Neither.

It's always the same: People in power and poor people to the slaughter.

That's why history must be studied, so as not to repeat the same mistakes.

- Maybe, but so far it hasn't helped. - Still, the story needs to be studied.

- Next time she will be questioned. - It's like I told you.

There are people who have power and people who go to slaughter.

Go to location.

- Well done, Angela, you got him. - Laricchiuta!

Your approval is not needed, the young lady is already conceited.

- Okay. - Have you done your research on the Hundred Years War?

- I'm making them. Those took a hundred years. - Quiet!

I expect them tomorrow, otherwise I'll talk to the principal.

- How naughty! You could give him more time. - You be quiet!

- In fact, come here. - Gladly.

- Tell me about Henry VIII. - With pleasure.

It is the most interesting representative of the Tudors.

Sadomasochist, romantic, maniacal sexual, vigorous, intelligent...

He spent his life in search of the ideal love...

...facing 6 marriages, excommunications, remorse and mothers-in-law.

- Salvatore! - Oh my God!

So I like you. You have to say: "You command, Mr. Principal."

School is a different tune.

Since you became director of the band and I didn't... You know how it is.

- It's fate that wanted it. - No, it's the "asshole", the mayor.

- I undo it with a stab. - You are still the principal.

Since you became band director and I didn't...

...people may think that between us there's an atavistic hatred, but no.

- "Ba, ba, ba..." - What are you hiding behind your back?

- Sketching a new march. - On Rome? - No, to my band.

Why do you say "my band"? I play in the band too, don't I?

- Well... - What do you mean? I don't play well, maybe? - Very well. - Here.

- Let me read. - Sure.

It's cute.

- It's on the beat. - It's on the upbeat. - It's on beat.

- It's on the beat. - Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa... #

- It's in upbeat! - You missed a "biscromola."

- It's on the upbeat! - The finale is beautiful, it's more majestic. Here.

- I can already feel that it's good. - It is.

What is it?

It's the dishes at the end.

Mr. Principal, I heard you a little wan. Listen to this.

Did you buy the new chorister?

- No, I got it back. - "To lass, to pass, to cass."

You don't understand shit. Let me hear it again.

- Did you growl at the choirboy? - Yes.

It's a cycle ascending and descending.

You must write the music, damn you? What do you know?

10,000 lire fine because you write music during class hours,

10,000 for contempt of Stravinski, and 40,000 for being obnoxious.

I studied music for a lifetime, eight years in juvie!

Now clean the toilets. This is your big orchestra, conduct it.

Excuse me, Mr. Principal. It's a joke by the kids for me.

Here, what's yours is yours! Go clean the toilets!

You wretch, damn you! I never want to see you again!

Get lost, "bitch."

I was kidding!

- Who is it? - It's Marco. - Come in, it's open.

- Hi. - Hi, do you need to come over? - I'm supposed to go out, but I'm in trouble.

I have not yet prepared the research on the Hundred Years' War.

If I don't bring it, Casalotti tells it to daddy, who beats with the belt.

- Is there anything I can do? - What do you want to do? It's a mess.

Wait, I should have a book.

Be sure to keep it short.

- I found it. It's a book about Joan of Arc. - What do I do with it?

In the preface there is a summary of the Hundred Years' War.

Was Joan of Arc also part of the Hundred Years' War?

- I just heard about it, too. - I should copy it down.

- Those are waiting for me, though. - Do you need full service?

- Give me, for tonight I give up going with you. - Sorry.

Me, Enzo and Gino are repeaters just for history and philosophy.

They will fail us again this year, Casalotti is a beast.

- I noticed. - Down with Casalotti!

They transferred him here from Milan and he feels like a boss in exile.

- So he takes it out on us. - Poor guy. - Poor us!

Marco, I have an idea.

He is also a man of flesh and blood and he's also very cute.

- What do you want to do? - Get him to have a good crush and make him soft.

- Do you think I'm not capable of that? - Sure, I almost got it.

But that one won't let me get near it, it's a bear.

- If I asked for private lessons? - That's so cool! You are so cool.

- But I'm a little jealous. - Marco, don't you dare, understand?

Aren't you going to kiss me tonight?

- Now go. - All right. - Go play.

- Pasquale? - What is it? - Wait for me, I'm coming with you.

All right, come with me. That figures. She's coming with me.

- What are you doing? - I have to disguise myself, this is a disgraced country.

They already say I have 25 lovers, if they they see you, you become the 26th.

- I need to talk to you. - Then I put on the glasses. Is that serious?

- I need to take classes in history and philosophy. - I am so busy.

I wasn't talking to you, but I would like that you talk to Casalotti about it.

- So it might be a little more lenient. - You're "crafty."

- Casalotti is not dumb, he has a brain that "spins". - How?

- He's smart and educated, he's not dumb. I can't. - Please.

If you tell me so...I can.

- Good morning, Mr. Principal! - What did I tell you?

- What are you looking for? - Merry Christmas, Mr. Principal.

- Merry Christmas? - Christmas has passed. - Happy Easter.

- Easter must come. - I wanted to to say hello to this piece of Easter.

- You greet that Lent of your sister. - I am an only child.

- See you at the rehearsal. - Try to go fuck yourself. - Thank you.

Did you see that "shithole" country? Everyone recognizes me.

Let's go to school. You drive.

- Let me see. - What are you doing?

Did you get in?

Bravo! You didn't call me!

It's Salvatore! Shut up!

You know what he does? He writes music. Now we give him a catch.

- Have you seen the janitor's "jerk"? - No.

- If you see it, send it to the presidency. - Yes, Mr. Principal.

Guys, let's go find him.

Did you see how pissed off he was?

Just now I got inspiration! How does this one speak?

Oh my God, the calzones!

You make me die of "heart attack"! I suffer from extrasystoles in my heart!

I am the principal!

How do they make me an education if my mistress comes here?

- Don't change the subject. Who is that girl? - What girl?

- Do you believe a letter carrier "bitchy" and cuckolded? - Yes.

She's a student. I'm a principal and I have 2,000 students, okay?

You know I would never betray you, love.

You put on men's makeup, but they can tell you're a woman.

This is what the the Japanese proverb...

... "Zizza prominent, imminent danger".

- Go, don't make me horny. - No, until you tell me who that is!

Ah! The hand! How she bites this cursed, wretched, jealous.

- I'm telling you the truth: She is a close relative of mine. - Oh!

I'll introduce you to her and tell her that you're my cousin, okay?

- That's good, love... - Go away, though.

- Looking for me? - No!

What do you want? Why don't you knock before you come in?

Fine! Am I interrupting? If not, I'm leaving.

No, I was talking to the accountant. Accountant, we're not kids anymore.

- We are forty years old, while your son is twenty. - Forty?

- Don't you know how old I am? - Are we on a first-name basis, accountant?

- Yeah, you cheesy little runt. Hold this! - What's he doing?

The more queer they are the more rude they are.

No, it's because... Who's a fag? Why did you say he was a fag?

- No one is queer! - Ouch! - Stay out of this and get out!

Excuse me, accountant, but it's better to leave. We'll talk about it later.

Yes, but the story doesn't end there, you idiot! Take this other one!

- At home we do the math. - Where? - She lives in the building across the street.

- Mr. Principal, you may be an accountant, but you have a nice ass! - It's true.

- Yeah... Did I break the spell? - No, you broke my balls.

There, it's moving... That's it.

- Close the door. - Yes.

Asshole! Faggot in disguise! At the rehearsal I'll kick his ass!

I'm still the master anyway, and this march is to be played...

In your face and that son of a bitch!

Call your mom!

- Do you know that I am in love with you? - Who with?

- About you, but you do not wire me at all. - I... I'm busy.

Then I have school, the band, the orchestra and...

- Now excuse me, but I have to go. Bye. - Bye.

- Hi, Gino. - Hi.

Don't waste time, he's cooked anyway.

- He won't even look at me. - What do you care? I'll look at you.

- You look at me and do not speak. - Speak, speak! Mount.

- Where are we going to "fav"? - What do you think? I love Marco.

All right, I'll train you.

His uncle told me that he needs tutoring.

I wanted to apologize for how I acted in class.

Never mind, it's water under the bridge.

In response to shyness, sometimes I put on a brave face.

For being shy, she defends herself quite well.

Anyway, let's get down to business.

- In which part of the program do you feel the weakest? - In everything.

Maybe it's because I've never never managed to get passionate...

...but with her it's a different story.

Best. We will do a general review general, following the text.

Would you like me to read?

Sorry, I didn't know you were here. Excuse me, miss.

- Do you think so? - I'll get out of your hair!

He also lives here as a sublet and I didn't warn him.

It looks very nice and it must be good too.

He is an excellent friend and an excellent. We were saying.

- May I? - Come in. - Professor, here's your tea.

- Just one? Will you take it, miss? - Yes, please. - Sit down.

Actually, I made it for you.

- Then make another one, please. - All right.

She's the hostess of the house. She's a good woman, but rather primitive.

It's not bad and it's quite young.

- I bet she's in love with her. - What does she say?

What's the big deal? It is not easy to find an interesting man.

You let go... and start reading.

- Here, commander. How are you feeling? - Better.

- With the tranquilizers, I don't have the visions anymore. - Good.

You are beautiful!

You are beautiful...

- Tell me something. - Yes, it's 8:29 p.m.

- What do you say? Tell me if you're happy. - Sure, but it's 30 seconds away.

- Tell me you love me. - Yes, I love you, but it's late. - What about it?

Ah! Help! Oh God, the water!

- I tried to tell you, but you never you never let me finish! - Come on.

The visions begin again!

It feels like the rainy season.

- Miss Mancinelli! - Good morning.

I thought it would be better not to see each other at my house.

- You know... the lady of the house is here. - Where shall we meet?

- Meet me here at the same time, then we'll decide. - Agreed.

Angela? I can see it working. How does she act? Does she try?

- No way! He's dead serious. - Then he he's got a crush, poor guy.

- Why? - He will suffer, I know something about that.

Ever since you arrived, I... I don't know how to say this, but...

- Shut up, you clown! - Why are you telling me this?

- If you get involved with me, I'm going to get even fail. - Good effort!

Good evening, guys, all set.

Sorry for the delay, but I had to make some scores.

Hand them out, let's get started. Come on, now let's have a first reading.

It's a march I've been dreaming about for a long time, I couldn't sleep at night to do it.

Recommendation, come on with the cymbals and the bass drum.

Ready? One, two... go!

Does anyone feel like joking? But I'm a son of a bitch!

Don't worry, everyone has the mom she deserves. From the top.

- No! I'll say it from the top! - You say it, da capo. - From the top.

From the top. What are you doing with those dishes? You look like you're in pain.

They don't come off, maybe someone put some glue on them.

Let's not waste any more time.

Guys, take care. One, two...

No!

I don't hear that phrasing of the bass in "E." What is it?

- I don't feel anything. Would you like to a solo? - Guys, guys!

- Are you sick? - I'm perfectly fine. You're a witness.

- She's fine... Yes, I can see her. - Take it easy.

- Does he have a tie too? - Stop, Salvatore. I'll kill you.

Mr. Principal, at school you're in charge, but he's in charge here.

- Give me the drum, I'll do I'll do the tambourine. - Give it to him.

- Calm. - Wipe off your sweat. - Yes, master. - Sweat!

- Do you have your handkerchief? - Yes, I do.

Here's the handkerchief. Now we dry the sweat to our principal.

- Let me kill him. - Take it easy. - I'll kill him once.

Then I'm off for 400 days. Now I break his eye and....

- Ahhh! - There you go. - It's breaking my handkerchief!

- Let me respond. - Better not. - I'll just break his knee.

- Does he eat it? - No, I vent.

Our principal makes us listen to a solo by Judas "Iscariotola."

Crustacean!

- Ready? - Yep. - Ready? - Yeah! - One, two...

Blow! Blow!

Bravo!!! If it was you three, this time you got it right!

We can rest easy here.

When I'm waiting for Marco, Gino comes, when I wait for Gino you come.

- It's not going to be an organized thing? - No, it's fate. - It will be.

- What would you like to do now? - I think, therefore I exist.

- Don't think, kiss me! - How? You mean me?

From this reflection takes the start of the Cartesian theory.

Descartes poses as the supreme principle supreme principle of knowledge the certainty...

- Is that him? - Eh... - Through the world and the existence of God...

- You follow me, miss? - Indeed, it's a very fascinating conversation.

- I'm all about the chill. - Are you cold? - No, I feel great.

Let's continue, but be careful, otherwise we're wasting time.

It may be the suggestion of the moonlight moonlight, but he's good at it.

- Don't think about him now, think about me. - Talk to me about philosophy.

- I am a materialist and a Mazzinian. - Meaning?

That is, thought and action.

This is not a robbery, it's a camouflage for love.

- Hello, beautiful. - What time do you call this? I was just falling asleep.

- I was late because there is Angela. - Who? - Angela.

I said you are my cousin paternal on my mother's side ...

- Fair enough. - Bella! I'll call her for you now.

- Angela? - The door! - She and I are related.

- Pleasure. - How nice! - Darling... - It's delicious.

Here... All right, that's it. Oh! Oh! "Break, break."

- You're a guy, huh? - I'm just a guy. - Have a seat. - Thank you.

Long time no see, Pasquale. How's your wife?

That daughter of a whore She's gone!

- Sorry! In this carpet everyone's tripping on it. - Everyone who?

- All... Anyway, sit down. - Sit down, Angela. - Thank you.

- You make yourself comfortable. - I'm sitting next to Angela. - Whatever.

- So you told Angela everything. - What does Angela have to do with it now?

- He said Amalia ran away. - Angela is me... - It's true!

We messed up the situation.

- Honey, aren't you cold? - No, why?

I am terribly hot, this one bothers me.

It's a branded jacket. Read this women's magazine.

- I don't like it. - Wretch, read it! - Do you treat your granddaughter like this?

- It's a beast. - You should try to master that temper.

- After all, we love each other very much. - I'll buy you a liqueur. - Thank you.

- If you're an asshole, you won't see a dime. - What did I say?

Nothing, but you looked. I'll break your cataract!

- Beautiful, sweet! - Do you need anything, Pasquale? - No, no, no.

- Did you bring two? - Yes. - Come and talk, dear.

- You know what I was thinking? - What? - We all three sit down.

I suffer from "solitudinemania" and I'm better off with company.

- Pasquale, I was talking with your granddaughter. - Talk to her.

I don't see a girl like Angela I can't see her in a man's house.

- Why don't you come over here? Keep me company. - Yeah, I wish!

- I have to stay with Uncle. I'm fond of him. - What a star.

- You'll see it anyway. - What about the school?

You'll do as you always do. In the morning go to school and come here in the evening.

Good, then I'll be free to devote myself completely...

- To what? - To the Japanese Japanese... - Yes. - In German.

You'll see, we'll be good together. You can come from tonight if you want.

- Sure. - But no. - Let's start tomorrow. tomorrow, I have to pack.

- Whatever you say, dear. - Obviously, will you sleep together? - Of course.

Between women, anyway.

Fedora, can you give me some more? I feel a weight on my head....

- Look, if you're being an asshole, I'll have your back. - How?

I'll slice off your balls and feed them to you in a pan.

But, Uncle! Between women, anyway...

Miss Angela?

Good morning, Professor.

You can come over to my house tonight, so you won't catch a cold.

My landlady has left for Naples, so she won't disturb us.

Don't worry, at home there is always Prof. Cacioppo.

- I would always be quiet though. - Thank you. See you tonight. - Goodbye.

- Is there any news? - Yes, he wants you at his place tonight.

- The hostess has left. - Then it melts! - I don't think so.

- He pointed out that there is Cacioppo. - Do you feel like risking it?

- Should I be afraid of a man? - What do we do with Cacioppo?

- It takes a UFO to abduct him. - Let's invent it. - Are you crazy?

What does it take? My brother's My brother's bike has a very powerful headlight.

Then you just have to find an asshole who wants some money.

I have that one.

The professor sitting at his desk...

...was reading by the light of a table lamp.

Suddenly, the light went out.

Minchia! Mrs. Concitto, a candle!

I said a candle!

Oh God! Oh God... What is it? It's them!

It's the UFOs! UFOs!

UFOs! I don't stutter anymore!

Precipitously...

It's thanks to them. I knew it, they're friends.

A Close Encounter of the third kind.

Dickhead, sapien! Yes, yes, yes, I'm coming...

I come, I am friend. Friend beautiful, beautiful!

What? I feel like I'm flying! I fly! I'm not afraid!

- Where are you taking him? - To Ignazio's, there are ten paid rides.

It's beautiful, but when do we get to the galaxies?

While the Prussians invaded France...

...the commune, dominated by Murat, favored the popular reaction.

In three days, over a thousand people were massacred.

- You seem upset, does the subject Does it bother you? - No, go ahead.

- Is she worried about something? - Cacioppo didn't show up.

- It doesn't usually come out, but there's no reason to worry. - Maybe.

But to be alone with a man as young and handsome as you are...

...and who speaks in such a fascinating way...

Let go, young lady. If anything, you're charming.

Respecting the students is for me a point of honor, don't be afraid.

I'm afraid of myself... and then a woman in love is fragile.

Professor, take me Get me out of here, I want to digress.

You're right, it's probably for the best.

- Who is it? - It's me, Angela.

- Good evening, dear. - Hi.

- How did the class go? - Which one? - The philosophy class.

Ah, yes! Oh my! How tired I am...nay, tired.

- Tell me, cutie, did you have dinner? - Yes, before the UFOs. - The UFOs?

The "Ufonotti"... In class we talked about the "Ufonotti".

- Don't they say Huguenots? - It's true, how ignorant I am in geography.

- So, if you've had dinner... ...it's straight to bed. - Yes, yes.

- I'll help you undress now. - Never mind, I'll do it myself.

Yes that matters, I like you so much!

Do you like women?

No.

- Oh my God, did you find it? - Seek and ye shall find!

Sorry, but it was a secret. Do not tell anyone, not even Pasqualino.

- I don't even think about it. - So, what are we waiting for? Let's get it on!

- We wanted two orange sodas. - It's compliments of the orchestra.

What about the orchestra?

See. Pacini, Fusecchia and Laricchiuta.

They're good guys, they earn their keep. Hi!

We hope they don't gossip.

Hi, Angela, can you give us a hand?

- I'm busy, can't you see? - Is he your boyfriend?

- Yes, his name is Carlo. - Lucky you, Carlo, buena suerte.

- Do you mind if I said that? - No.

Carlo, I have to tell you the truth.

Something wonderful, you know?

- Sure. - Do you still care about gossip anymore?

I don't give a damn!

# I went through another day with my usual problems. #

# And I...and then...who knows? #

# An imprecise sense disappointed longing. #

# The sudden encounter, a gesture, an excuse... #

# lo, regularly, I will do as I always do. #

# A bit of a mess... #

# But you stay close to me # #

# ♪ Stay close to me #

# ♪ I found you on time #

# It's my daily crisis With yes, with no, who knows? #

# Total surrender, the myth destroyed... #

#... of me good for nothing, capable of anything. #

# He who sows the wind reaps storms. #

# This is my destiny #

# But you stay close to me # #

# ♪ Stay close to me #

# I'll be a little bourgeois, a little out there, a little decadent. #

# And we, and then... I don't know. #

# It's the possessive self that's been lurking. #

# An elective fact, outdated. #

# And I'll probably be starting another mess. #

# But you stay close to me # #

# You stay close! #

So, Laricchiuta, do you remember where Joan of Arc was born?

Where.

- Domrémy. - Do-re-mi. - What the hell are you saying?

What the hell are you talking about?

It's Domrémy, son, Domrémy.

I understand that for a musician it's an excused slip of the tongue.

After all, this is notionism.

Do you remember whose voices that Joan of Arc heard?

They were...the voices of consciousness.

She said they were from St. Catherine or St. Margaret's....

In a bit, she even kisses him.

- How long until the end? - Two minutes.

Watch out for the bell.

But what is it? Yet there is nothing. What did they do up here?

If I catch them, I make them....

- Oh, sorry. - Salvatore? - Yes?

What do you do always attached to the doorbell?

- The kids messed with me. - You tampered with me too, here.

Today is St. Boniface and I am good.

Ring the bell, which is now.

- Here you are in charge, but there it is a different music. - Do you see the difference?

I am democratic and you're "bitchy." I play it.

Today is St. Boniface and I'm doing it.

Let's say they tampered with it.

They didn't know I'd play it I, the fart was not for me.

Mah!

In a circuit direct current...

...between driving force "V", current "I" and resistance "R"...

...there is equality...

- I told him not to come in during class. - Get off!

- This carabiniere... - Do you see your scion? - Whose dog is it?

Your little boy Picked him up off the street...

...and made a leash with the ties of your husband, my son.

- He's a child at heart. - Thank you. Looks like it to me too.

Then you take it home with you with the dog. I don't want the dog.

I salute you, beautiful!

- Still here? - Where should I go? - Go away!

Get it through your head that this is a school, not a barracks!

Don't mind her, Mom, she's crazy.

- Now, Paoletto, shut him up. - Shall I take him out? - Yes, honey.

Come on... bravo.

Where were we? We were talking about...

Oh my!

You've been mauled! I'm already reading the news.

"A master dog was killed By a master dog."

- Salvatore, I'm so sorry. - Don't worry, I'm fine!

In fact, I take this opportunity to invite you to my concert.

- I really care about her. - Thank you, I will come with pleasure.

- I can't hear the bass in "E"! - Megalomaniac of a "crap"!

- Mr. Principal, did you put the sardine? - Your sister's!

Come on, all together!

Louder! The strongest bass!

Never mind, let's do without the bass. We'll do it without the bass.

- What? - Mr. Principal, are you a magician?

- Keep playing! - Oh my God, save the kitten!

There you are! Ahhh!

- Good dog. - Are you crazy? That's the band director.

- Thank you, Salvatore. Did the dog hurt you? - No.

- He's nice Salvatore, isn't he? - He's sweet.

You know what's nice about him, naked? Nothing, it's disgusting.

- Well? Are you coming? - It's Marco's turn tonight.

He doesn't want me, but I I'm so in love with him.

Irma, I have a confession to make.

It's not true that he's hooking up with Angela. It was on purpose... Sorry.

- Assholes! - Irma, where are you going? Wait! Irma!

- Are you crying? - I came with you to take revenge, and he is innocent.

What do you care? What do you want is one more little make-out session?

- If I give you a ticket, will you give it to him? - Sure, in fact, I have an idea.

His room is on the mezzanine floor and the window is always open.

If I were you, I'd go into his room... and crawl into bed.

- Awesome! - You are so smitten. I'm so jealous.

Angela! Angela!

Honey, ever since you got here, we've all been messing around.

Relative or not relative, let's get this tooth out of the way.

- Mr. Principal, what an honor! - What are you doing here?!

Am I at home or at school? With these two "feeding bottles," what do you do?

After all I'm not so "acci"...

Yours and your grandfather's "ayes". You are good as hell, Irma.

- You came to see Angela? - I was waiting for her to study.

Do you study in bed? With these two tits... I'll give you a punch!

Let's make a deal, you and me.

Let's make a deal between me...and you.

In fact, let's make two deals, between you and me. Ahh!

- Madonna, what a bite! From where did you enter? - Through the window.

- And out the window you go. - Faggot! Faggot!

You are going to die a bad death. Wait.

- Go away. Did you hear the blackbird? - Too bad, while we were at it!

Don't "whizz" me, I'll jump on you. on you! Aren't you ashamed?

- Close your eyes while I get dressed. - I closed them.

In fact, barred. Ah...

Hurry up! I'm not made of "cast iron" nor of iron.

Go away, go away! What a figure! What a figure!

- From "asshole." - It's true, that's why I'm going to kill you.

I take your tongue, I "rip it out... sparrow tongue.

- Bye, see you tomorrow. - Bye.

I'll make you The bird with crystal feathers.

I'll make a blackbird juice! Where are you going? Come here.

- Come here, you wretch! - Pasquale? - Who is it?

- What are you doing to Bartholomew? - I was squeezing...

This bird is sick, it's yellow. Maybe it has viral hepatitis.

What hepatitis! What are you doing here?

- What was Miss De Pettis doing in your bed? De Pettis doing in your bed? - Irma?

- She was as naked as a tapeworm. - She must be pretty, naked.

- She has a nice little personality. - Undoubtedly, it's good.

She's a nice girl... but there's... ...too much weird stuff going on.

So, what were you doing here?

I came because I heard my cock whistling...

...as if to say, "I can't breathe!"

I understand you, Pasquale. Come here, let's sit down.

- Let's talk about this passion of yours for me. - Really? - Yes.

Pasquale, you are nice, brilliant and full of life.

- You'd be the ideal man for me. - Would l? - Yes, you would.

I've thought about this so many times. You are so beautiful, fresh, robust.

With this sensual mouth, you make me want to give you...

...lots of little kisses.

I've noticed how you look at me. I like men that strong.

- "Thank you." - It must be nice To be held by your arms.

I feel overwrought and upside down.

- But... I like women. - I didn't catch that.

- I'm sorry for you, but I don't know what to do about it. - Are you serious?

Do you like women? Blessed Mother, it can't be.

A piece of "bernardola" like you! Why are you stroking me, groping me?

What should people say? That the the principal's niece likes to...

I'm going to kill myself, I'm going to break my ears. I can't believe it.

- Who is it? - It's Marco.

- Screw you. - Under the bed. - Yes, like lovers. - Go.

- We'll talk about it later. - Shut up! - Maybe you were wrong.

I don't come in here...

- Next. - Sorry, Angela, I'm already late. - Sch...

Late...doing what?

Latin version, I forgot the vocabulary.

I've got the dictionary. I'll give it to you.

- It sounded like a little scream to me. - It must have been Bartholomew.

Of course it's an incredible blackbird.

- Now go finish the version. - Thank you, bye. - Bye.

Ah! Blessed mother! She has an iron on her feet.

- Are you hurt? Shall I make you a compress? - No, thanks.

This is not where it hurts, nor here.

This is where it hurts me, you hurt me.

With a revolver, I would have felt less pain.

I am 43 years old, I am not a boy 15-year-old boy to be made fun of.

I understood everything about you and my asshole son.

You make up a lot of nonsense.... "I like women..."

You should have said, "You disgust me, you're ugly and you're obese."

I would have liked more. Now don't say anything... What?

Don't worry, I'm a real man and I know how to lose.

Hi... Ahh!

When I interviewed them, I realized that they don't study and they don't care.

They're also being arrogant! I can't stand them anymore.

- They're kids, you could be more lenient. - I'm doing this for them.

- In exams, with the commission don't mess around. - You're right.

- I'll see you as usual. - Hold on, I'll give you a ride.

- Not afraid of small talk? - Who cares!

Son of a bitch! Started again today with the 2.

- That flunks us again. - We can block it. - How?

I steal Dad the camera with the flash...

...and as soon as he's with Angela, we'll take... we'll take some compromising photos.

- We're blackmailing him! - Angela she'll never go for it, she's cooked too.

We don't tell Angela anything.

At the first opportunity, we'll sneak in some photos.

By now the pear is ripe. Sooner or later, those... "vaffete"!

- That's nice. - Let's sit here. - Yeah, sure.

- Wait, there's a little sand. - Never mind.

- Aren't you cold? - With you it's impossible.

- I hope you're not going to talk to me about history or philosophy. - If anything, theology.

Oh, no!

- Don't be afraid, now you have succeeded. - What?

To make me fall in love. Isn't this what you promised yourself you'd do?

In the beginning it was like a game, a challenge.

You used to bother me with your smart-ass attitude.

I wish I could have made you...whatever!

Come... Sch!

- "Quack, quack. - Get down, if they see us, we're screwed.

Let's leave it at that. I don't want to "hold the snot," that's just mean.

Come, come. Madonna... and what is it?

Now what do you think of me?

Now I don't think anymore, I'm in love.

- Do you really love me? - Of course, I love you.

- Give me that car. - Give it to him, give it to him!

You're not even rogues.

You are just a bunch of idiots!

Carlo, listen, I swear... I didn't know anything about it!

You are worth even less than them!

What the fuck did you do with this little car?

Dear Fellow Citizens I bring you my greetings.

In this solemn moment we let nature envelop us...

...in her embrace of a loving mother.

Let us pay homage to her by placing in the earth this tender sapling...

...symbol of our love and our hope.

This little tree will grow and become a big tree...

...reaching towards the sky to thank the Lord.

- Dean, to you. - Me?

Italians, fellow citizens, policemen urban, suburban, interurban.

- The solemn hour is about to strike. - It is late. - In fact, it has struck.

Since it is late, I want to thank our first citizen,

Who gave this short speech.

- But if he's been talking for three hours. - Short as in "brevi manu".

- You're fine. - What did you say? - Go on.

Don't call me "sir" or I'll break your... your knees! Give me that.

Here, damn you!

- Professors, let's continue. - Look what he did to me!

One, two...go!

Up, up!

Come on, come on!

Bravo, you have made "bora-bora"!

Stro...stro...assholes!

- Irma, have you seen Paoletto? - No, I haven't. - Professor, have you seen him?

- Who is Paoletto? That head of f... f... - What does he mean?

Of dear child ... I haven't seen him. I'm busy. Get off, get off!

- Do you want to take over? - I have to keep the tree.

Did they take me for the Duce?

Friends, I tell you with sincerity, it was hard....

...But I feel proud and happy.

From today, thanks to me, in this garden, in this city...

...there's an extra tree.

Mom, did you see that? It was me.

I can't put you through, Nicolino, he's taking the orals.

- Morning. - What do you want, "crustacean"? - To whom?

Not to you, Nicolino, to a cursed janitor who haunts me.

- If you want, I'll have him transferred. - No, why get him transferred?

Salvatore is a good person. If not, who do I vent to?

- Do you think Angela will do well in the exams? - Of course!

- Then, with the arguments you have.... - If anything, mention my name.

They wipe their asses with it. Hi.

Thank you, Mr. Principal, for not making me transfer.

When I become a band director of band, who do I take it out on?

You will play in my band a little triangle this small.

Every time you make a mistake, I'll say: "Savior, you hit the wrong note!"

Then I will spit in your eye. You just have to obey me.

- If I say stay, stay. If I say to go, go. Now go. - Where?

- Usual place. - Doing cleaning? - To fuck off.

- Hi. - Mr. Principal... - Go away!

- I wanted to say. - Go away, damn you! - But...

D'Annunzio is the Boccaccio part of Yung's ideal man...

...also because, besides being a whoremonger, he was also a fag.

- Really? Active or passive? - I'll tell you.

If you prefer, active, passive, and deponent.

- It has a particular development. - Yes, on two parallel fronts.

So, Leibniz was saying.... So, Leibniz said that...

- So do you remember what it said? - It said.

- "Monads don't have windows. " - He said.

"Nuns don't have windows."

- Of course, they are cloistered nuns. Go. - Dad, what the fuck are you talking about?

- See you next year. - I'm sorry, but I had to do it.

For goodness sake, if it takes it takes it.

I'm sorry, but I wanted to. I'll break your feet at home.

- So? - They screwed me too. - Thank God, I thought you were cheating on us!

Do you feel prepared, young lady?

- Not too much. - She's my granddaughter. - Let's talk a little history?

- Whatever. - We ask you something very simple.

Let's talk about the figure of Napoleon.

- What was Napoleon like? - He was mean and stubborn.

- He had two big green eyes, he was handsome and very tall. - Excuse me?

It refers to the photos we have seen of Napoleon as a child.

It was super tall and slender, then over time it got shorter.

In Corsica he trotted. Twice in the dust, then in the earth...

- That's a cute one! - Yes, it's good.

- Miss, what do you know about philosophy? - That I think, therefore I exist.

Thinking is not enough, you also have to think and want.

- You have to plan for the future. - Have you planned yours?

Miss, I'll ask the questions.

Does it proceed or does it withdraw? In that case see you next year.

- It will be difficult, because I'm already two months pregnant. - Huh?!

Professor!

- You mean that time, at the sea... - Yes, Dad.

Tombola, quaterna and cinquina. Now that's some serious shit.

Mr. Principal, this gives me the cue to make the new march....

Damn you, walk! Sorry. See if you like this one.

Go, damn you! He's a wretch who wants to run the band.

Get out!