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Good evening, sir.

Sorry for your loss, Bilal.

Bilal…

It says "Altan Şekerci," Bilal. That's my name.

Hey! Why are you throwing dirt on me?

Did your boss tell you to do that? Bilal…

Don't do this, Bilal.

You can't be ignorant enough to bury someone alive.

You're the ignorant, you dick.

But this is not exactly civilized of you.

Bilal, sir…

Please, Bilal.

Don't bury me alive, Bilal.

Every grave is an early grave.

Plus, you already know I'm a virgin.

Boss, I'm confused again.

Do we shoot first, then bury?

Or do we bury first, then strangle?

Do we take his head? Do we eat his heart?

What was I supposed to do?

Come on, man. Sorry, boss.

He's still recovering.

I'm going insane.

You find his pal yet?

They caught him, boss. They'll be here soon.

-You know how capable we are. -The hell you are, you stupid pricks.

I know this isn't the place to say this, but I can't help myself.

The shirt suits you well.

It looks amazing. The pants too. It's like tailor-made.

I'm sure it is, but…

You do have the right shape. And the Italian leather shoes…

How do you always look so sharp?

You're always clean too. Your face is always shining.

Stop talking, dude.

I swear I'll slap you.

-This is the dumb one, right? -Yes.

And here's the lying one, boss.

Hang on, man.

Just wait a minute. What the hell are you doing?

You can't do this.

Let me go.

What are you doing?

WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?

What are you doing, man?

There's been a misunderstanding. You're making a big mistake.

My uncle's an infamous mob guy, you know.

Just know that beforehand.

He owns half of Ağrı.

We're a huge clan.

We have ten thousand guys with AK-47s.

You'll be in big trouble.

We found the bastard, but he says it wasn't him.

Man… Hang on, man.

Let's calm down. Who's in charge here?

Who's the public relations manager? Is it you? Hey, sir.

Hello… Hello, sir.

-You know what a grasshopper is, kid? -I don't.

They're excellent jumpers,

but at the same time,

their ability

is their leading cause of death.

-Why? -Why?

They hop into the wrong garden.

Then what happens?

Someone breaks their legs.

What leg?

Why did you do that?

Can a grasshopper live without legs?

No, man.

You know what?

God damn that grasshopper all the way to hell, man.

What can a tiny bug do to you anyway, for God's sake?

Please, man. I do a lot of things.

Just remind me so we can handle it. What was the issue?

The boss is telling you something.

Don't you know what you did?

I'm under pressure, man.

I can't think properly. What is all this about?

Weren't you the one who banged his wife?

Who?

You banged her till dawn.

You just wouldn't stop.

You peeled her like a banana. You made her scream, you dick!

Who the hell are you?

Who are you? What's your name?

Muzaffer.

Here, boss.

Portakal… Isn't he your friend?

I want to say no, but I'm scared you'll fuck me up or something.

-Stop stalling! -Look, sir.

Can I just say something?

I'm just a shopkeeper at the Elmalı Market in Karaköy.

Here, sir. I'll give you my card.

GÜRKAN EROTIC SHOP IF YOU'RE HAPPY, WE'RE HAPPY

You motherfucker!

Wow, sir. The nerve.

Even my own father didn't hit me.

You know, my father carried bags of cement on his back

just so his seven kids could study and become such classy people.

How dare you?

Even my own father never hit me! Who gave you the right to do so?

Fuck you and your father!

You just can't do this, man.

It really hurts, you know.

HE DIED FOR HIS FRIEND'S SINS

HIS MOTHER'S SACRED HIS FATHER UNKNOWN

Come on, man.

God damn my father to hell, sir.

I don't even know him. The scumbag was a drunk and a lowlife.

If he owes you something, I won't take any responsibility.

Please, man. Just stop. Please!

Come on.

You can't do this, man. What the hell is this?

How can you just bury me?

I'm really hurt, man. What is this about?

Just don't take him seriously.

Who are you, dude?

Who are you?

-I asked you first. -You've been running your mouth.

-Why are you riling them up? -Shut up or else.

Shut up and listen to the boss.

Respect, sir.

Sir! Sir, please! Bilal!

Murder would be so unbecoming of a sharp gentleman like you.

Live and let live. Please just do us youngsters a favor, sir!

Hear me, my Muslim brethren.

We're all Muslim. We're all brothers.

Isn't there a proper Muslim who can save us here?

Allah…

Stop trying to save yourself.

Hey. I perform my prayers every chance I get, man.

I have a tiny request, sir.

Just don't fire anything at me. I can't tell you not to shoot him.

I don't have anything to do with this, so I trust myself fully.

I can't say the same for him, though.

Even if I wanted to vouch for him… Just no.

Dear God, I'm curious. Please tell me.

Is there a person with the name Gürkan who isn't an asshole?

I'm asking you too, sir. Do you know any?

Just smite any registrar who helps people name their kid Gürkan.

God damn you to hell!

Take it back, man. Stop cursing.

-It'll bring us bad luck. -Just take me, God!

This can't happen to me again.

Look at this guy.

Look at him.

-Shut up, you two. -You know the saying.

No need to kill when you can just scare. This'll be your lesson.

All right, guys.

We're going to play a game I invented all by myself.

The Bilal roulette.

I can't use you both,

so I'm going to let just one of you live.

Whoever wants to live the most will win.

You seriously have the strangest fantasies, Bilal.

Do you work with an agency or something?

Do you have a creative team?

What's this?

All right, man. I'm holding it.

You each have a gun.

Hold them against each other's heads.

Whoever pulls the trigger first will get to live.

I'm sorry, Bilal.

I don't want to hurt your feelings,

but I really can't shoot anyone.

I can't stand the sight of blood. I haven't hurt a fly all my life.

No matter how big of an asshole he is, he's still human.

Our government issued him an ID.

So I can't just shoot him. I'm sorry, sir.

Bilal, I think the thing is broken.

God damn you, you asshole!

I'll strangle him, Bilal.

Even though I can't shoot him, I can strangle him just fine.

I want to drink his blood.

I want to tear him into pieces.

I want to give away his meat to the poor.

Who would eat it, though? Pork isn't halal.

-Oxygen… I can't breathe. -He's a pig.

Good. I don't want you to breathe.

Let's get to the point.

You're no good to me dead.

You banged my girl.

You ruined my million-dollar painting.

So what am I supposed to do know?

This is your day of reckoning.

You're going to be in my harem for life.

I'm going to make you two my bitches until someone decides to poison you.

We'll start with something small.

Listen to me carefully.

I'm going to tell you about Ali Kapan.

He's also known as Al Capone in our circle.

He's Satan's shadow on Earth.

A maniac who leaves no loose ends.

Our grand master who taught us how to be evil.

A guy who always knew not to trust anyone

and taught us so as well.

Our idol.

We're merely amateurs at what we do.

Ali Kapan is the champion.

Even being in the same room with him is an honor to us.

If you want to play with the champions,

you need to take one down first.

You're going to take the ancient map he wants to sell me…

I'm sorry. Not take, steal. You're going to steal the map for me.

It's a fragment of Piri Reis' map.

I can easily sell it for ten million,

but I'll let you have it for eight.

I'll get my money,

and you'll ascend to our level.

Buy it, and I'll support you.

We have a spot in the council since Süleyman got shot.

You'll be done with all the small-time stuff.

Thank you, Mr. Ali.

I appreciate it.

Can I take a picture of it?

I'll send it to people so I can get the money.

Bilal.

Eight million.

You have a week.

This is a big opportunity.

That sounds like a big job.

Can we start with something smaller?

We can do your garden work.

We can do some legwork or pay your bills.

We can be gigolos, even.

I'm not asking you what you can do.

I'm telling you what to do.

You have three days.

Bring me the map.

Otherwise, I'll bury not just you but your entire extended families.

-I'll end your lineages. -Can we leave our families out?

You're obviously bad at gathering intel.

You'll be killing the wrong people.

We're done talking.

Do as I said.

Three days.

Motherfuckers.

I have a quick question, Bilal. Do we count tonight as well?

Is it today, tomorrow, and the day after,

or do we leave tonight out and start counting in the morning?

Have a nice night, sir. Take care.

I wish you all the luck in the world, Bilal.

Love you.

Kisses. Take care. Bye.

I bet it starts tomorrow.

-It has to. -Don't count today.

It's the following three days. Today's over anyway. It's night.

You're insane.

As if he's better at math. What a prick.

Is it…

I saw through him right away, man.

The gun felt light, so I knew it was empty.

They're a bunch of tricksters.

Piss off! You're a scoundrel.

Dear God, please send me a sign. Tell me what I did to deserve this.

Did I scam a beggar?

Did I trick my grandmother, took her gold,

and spent the money on massages in Thailand?

What did I do to deserve this, God?

What did you take, man? Are you insane? Did you take drugs?

-It's Altan, right? -Yeah.

Take care, brother. All right?

See you. We went through hard times. We barely managed to saved our skin.

But let's not see each other ever again.

Just stay away from me.

Let's not have any problems.

I have a life. I'm leaving. Kisses. Take care. Bye.

Hold on! Where are you going?

What do you mean, man?

My sister's alone at home. She must be worried.

Don't worry about it. In three days, they'll handle her too.

Dude, what the hell?

Are you crazy? I was just out to buy some bread.

This has nothing to do with me!

Some mobsters dug a grave. I barely saved my ass.

-What do you want? Get out of my life. -It's your call, man.

You're in it with me now. We have three days to take the map.

If we fail to do it, they'll just find a place for us here.

They'll build a skyscraper on us.

This is like my third movie on the same topic, man.

Just stop!

Go die with whomever made him mad. What do you want from me?

He's missing, dude. He's dead to me anyway.

It's your call.

None of my acquaintances died a peaceful death anyway.

None of them got to say goodbye to their grandkids.

Your call. Go ahead and leave.

-Why would I leave? -Just fuck off already.

-I'm not leaving. -Your sister's waiting.

-I'm staying. -Isn't she?

I'm not leaving.

I'm so confused, man.

-It's Altan, right? -Yeah.

Look, man. I can't think clearly.

I'm seriously confused.

Just come to my place.

My sister was going to make soup.

We'll just have soup and think.

We'll come up with a plan tomorrow morning.

-Is it far from here? -Is it not good enough for you?

-Just asking. We just met. -I bet you sleep at the dog shelter.

-How would you know? -Just walk.

I know you like the offer. You're just playing hard to get.

Hey, everyone. Welcome to my YouTube channel.

We're going to conduct another social experiment today.

I'm sure we'll prove yet again how charitable Turkish people are.

We all know too well

that no child will go to bed hungry here as long as there are kind people.

Let's see if that gentleman is as compassionate as he seems.

Come on.

-Hello, sir. -Hey.

Don't get me wrong, sir. I'm not a beggar. I'm a student.

I haven't eaten in three days.

So?

Can I just eat some of yours?

Can you order me something?

I don't understand, kid.

I'm just asking if I could have a few pieces of bread, sir.

-I'm starving. -How is that my business, kid?

Can't I just have a few pieces of bread?

A few pieces of bread are a big deal, kid.

You can't just ask for it.

Bread costs a ton, you know.

Just go ask someone else. Seçkin, take him away.

But you're a good person, sir.

Why do you care if I'm good or not? Just leave me alone.

Hey! You fuck!

-Who do you think you are? -I didn't do anything.

Hang on. I won't let anyone touch my food.

I'll give you what you deserve.

Why won't the belt come off?

-You prick! -Sir--

-Sir-- -I'll fuck you up!

Don't call me sir!

-How dare you? -Stop, sir!

Sir, please stop.

Who the hell are you?

It was just a social experiment, sir.

We were going to share it for the world to watch.

-You're filming? -Yeah. We're going to share it.

Okay.

Come here, son. I…

I was just rehearsing.

Take a seat. Go ahead and eat.

It's the best part of the lamb. It's all there.

I just ate the tomatoes and the garlic.

Here's the bread. Come closer, son.

-How many likes do you get? -Around 100,000.

Bring us some tea.

I really feel embarrassed about it. It was all a joke, you know.

Here's my card. You can go ahead and have it.

I own Mount Ararat. Here's my card.

When you approached me like that… Yeah. Here you go.

Just let everyone see how hospitable our country is.

Don't get me wrong. I was just eating.

Everybody comes up to me around here.

I thought you were one of them.

I didn't know. Here you go, son.

Thank you, sir.

-What's up, Bakiye? -Not much.

Altan, this is Bakiye. Bakiye, this is my friend Altan.

Hi. Good evening.

-Dear God! -What is it?

What happened?

I mean…

It's nothing. I just say that

every time I enter a new place.

It's a habit. I believe it brings luck.

-It's like a tradition to me. -I'm sure it is. Just go ahead.

I swear you're unhinged.

What a mental case.

Thank you so much. Sorry to burden you at this time of night.

You're welcome, sir.

Thanks, Bakiye.

Bakiye is the light of my life.

Ever since she was a kid,

I did everything for her as her big brother.

I even went to her parent-teacher meetings.

I did beat up a few of her teachers, but it's just who I am.

A few degenerates in the neighborhood tried to make passes at her.

When I found out,

I just grabbed them by their necks as her big brother.

It's my right. No one can stop me.

I'm not talking about you, of course.

I completely trust you.

The only way Bakiye leaves this house is in a white wedding dress.

Hey, big brother. If you'll allow me, I want to go to my room…

watch my spooky series, and then go to bed.

Go ahead, honey. I bet you're tired. You can go.

You won't sleep tonight, boy.

She was sick when she was a kid.

-She always had a high fever. -Really?

Some people in the neighborhood said it caused her some mental issues.

I've never seen any symptoms, to be honest.

I haven't seen any signs.

I think people sometimes talk out of their asses.

What's up with you?

You're too stressed.

Just leave it to me. I'll handle it.

They almost buried us half an hour ago.

Why are you so relaxed?

You don't know who I am.

Look at these photos. Who do you think got all these medals?

Who do you think?

Who do you think, huh? You can't treat me like this.

I would've chopped them to pieces if I had to.

But you wouldn't just stay calm.

You give yourself away too easily, Altan.

What the hell is a "Bilal roulette"? It's all bullshit.

It wasn't my first time with a gun on my head anyway.

I even had one shoved down my throat.

I never squealed, though. I stayed firm.

I haven't let my sister eat even one bite of anything haram.

Who do you think I am, huh?

The guy who sells rubber dicks is talking like he's Spartacus.

Just bravo.

I sell people happiness, man. Don't talk like that.

And hey.

I'll be fine anyway. I'm not sure if you'll be.

I swear. You're too sensitive. You're not cut out for this.

So they won't fuck you up?

You know what?

It pains me to bring the map to Bilal Özkök just because he said so.

It's worth ten million.

Come here. Come closer. Listen to me.

I don't think you get it, Gürkan.

Let me put it this way. They'll fucking destroy us.

I didn't say I wasn't going to give it to him.

Don't you get what I'm trying to say? I say let's just give it to him.

-I'm just saying. -Why are you being like this?

-Just saying. -But I didn't even object, man.

Can you give me the address?

Hand it over.

-Come on. -Here you go.

Here we go. Are you going to eat your soup?

-I lost my appetite. Why could that be? -All right.

I get a lot of ideas when I'm taking my morning dump.

I'll devise a plan then. Let's just go to bed.

I'll show you to your bed.

Yeah. Show me to my bed like this is a fucking mansion.

I swear you deserve a shelter, you dick.

-Go. -This is a shelter.

Hey, sister. What are you doing?

Don't call me sister. I might make you happy.

Just let go. Relax. Get comfortable.

Bakiye, what's wrong with you? You're so unpredictable.

Are you possessed or something? Do you maybe need an exorcism?

Come on. You'll wake your brother up.

You wouldn't be in my place at this time of the night

if you didn't want it.

Your brother…

You don't get to make a pass at me and then fucking walk away.

Don't move. I'll cut you.

Believe me, I'm an amateur at this.

It wouldn't even be worth getting your clothes off.

It'd be a bad experience for you. It'd be over in a minute.

I'll teach you, baby.

What are you doing? Please leave me alone.

Your brother will be so upset, you know.

I don't care about him.

I'm 40 years old.

I'm 40!

I'm 40!

Don't be like that. Come on.

Look.

You think I want to do this?

But this is my last chance.

If I don't get a guy soon, I'm going to kill myself.

No. Don't be like that.

I'm sure you'll get one. The country is filled with maniacs.

Don't!

What the hell is going on here?

God damn you to hell.

I fed you, Altan.

You degenerate. Damn you.

How dare you touch such a poor, beautiful girl?

Hear me, my Muslim brethren.

Isn't there a proper Muslim

who will punish this bastard

who dared touch this pure little girl?

Oh, brother… I told him not to do it.

I told him you'd be devastated.

"Fuck your brother," he said!

I said no such thing! Tell him I didn't say that.

You said that?

All right. You're getting married.

You're engaged now. Go to the other room, girl.

You two are engaged now. Only a wedding can redeem this.

Go ahead, honey. Love you.

I love you so much.

Get me a cup of tea.

What are you after exactly, man?

You trying to talk back to me? Did you take drugs?

Where do you think… Put it down.

Come on. Put it down, man.

Is it… I swear I'll punch you.

You fuck.

You ugly prick.

You bastard.

I'm engaged?

No!

-Morning. -Morning, brother-in-law.

-Come on, man! -What? What's wrong?

What's up? It's done, man. It's all fine.

Bakiye, go pour your fiancé some tea.

Damn it.

Here.

Take it.

Why do I need to wear this? My clothes are fine. I don't smell.

What are you talking about?

I told you I'd devise a plan.

I figured it out in the loo. Our guts are our second brain, you know.

Are we flying a plane?

You're here.

What's up, you dick?

-"Dick"? You can't talk to me like that. -Shut up!

Have you been drinking this morning, İsmail?

You can't talk to me like that. I'm your superior.

I swear I'll have you transferred back to your village.

Look at him.

How dare you talk to your superior like this? I'll have you transferred.

Come to our village.

Captain Yıldırım sent me here.

He said, "Tell that moron he's getting demoted all the way down."

He sent you this watchman uniform in case you wanted to keep working.

What a nice van, man. It looks like a saucing pan.

Where have you been? I've been here for an hour.

I lied to my boss for you.

Stop bitching.

I'll cut your boss up.

Look at me acting like a commie because of him.

You said two hours. No more, okay?

I can't put him off any longer. We have customers waiting.

Take good care of it.

Treat it well.

My boss has invested so much in it.

Why are you being like this, Ercan?

What investment are you talking about? It's not a space shuttle.

It's not a dam. It's not a power plant.

You install Hotbird antennas for teens who want to watch porn.

We have Netflix now.

-Your business is about to go down. -You're right.

That's exactly what I told him.

What did your boss say?

He said, "Ercan, fuck off."

Makes sense.

-Come on. -We've put a lot of effort in it, man.

It's not just a monetary investment. It's also an emotional one.

You know, like… It's our baby, so to speak.

Ercan!

Get the hell out of here.

Move. I swear I'll kick your ass.

He keeps talking about his boss as if he's some big businessman.

We'll bring it back, you prick!

He might not be a big shot, but he's still my boss.

-I work for-- -God damn you.

I've been wondering, Altan.

I just didn't get the chance to ask you.

Don't you have a picture of the bastard who caused all this?

-I do. -I want to see him.

You don't need to see him.

I'm curious. Just show me.

There's no need.

-I swear I'm just curious. Come on. -It's in the past. Damn it. Fine.

-All right, man. -Just show me, dude.

-Hang on a second. -Come on.

Where is it? Here.

There you go.

-Let me see. -Here.

-God damn it! -What are you doing?

Come on, man!

-What are you doing? -They should get their eyes checked.

The damn traitor looks nothing like me.

He's nowhere close to the Golden Ratio.

How could they think I was him?

You don't look like a proper guy, though.

-Seriously? -Yeah.

All right.

The GPS says it's here.

We're going to walk from here. The place is just ahead.

Yeah. Just keep fucking yelling.

Just invite them to fuck us up.

-Gather everyone here. -I tripped, man.

Get up.

Altan.

The blue wire or the red wire?

Blue or red?

These pliers will change the world.

Everyone's excited.

Are you insane, man? Stop messing around.

I swear I'll cut the wrong one.

It'll blow up. You'll be spread across two continents.

That'll still happen if they catch us.

-Do it! -Come on, Altan.

I just wanted to feel the thrill like in the movies.

I was going to cut all of them anyway. It's not ours.

I swear every Gürkan is the same and I'm like a magnet to them.

So…

Altan, do we have the UV fiber cable and the device?

I brought them. Why would you use my real name?

Oh, right.

You get offended so easily, İsmail.

Yes?

The TV is out, so they called us here.

-I don't know anything about that. -Really?

I'm pretty sure they don't pay you to watch TV.

How about you ask the people inside if there's something wrong?

Nicole, check if the TV's working.

The document says Ali Kapan.

There's a note too.

"There's a game tonight."

"If I don't get to watch it, I'll kill everyone."

He sounds hot-headed.

Go ahead.

Come on.

What the hell are you doing, man?

What are you doing?

Wow, man. Look at this place.

Hello. Through here?

What a warm welcome.

I guess they have a barbecue in there. He burned my mustache.

Your mustache? The guy himself was on fire.

But he also burned my mustache, man.

Have some sympathy.

Mr. Ali has a meeting.

Be quiet.

-Through here, please. -All right.

Time sure flies. Right, Namık?

Look, sir.

I didn't intend to go behind your back.

I thought my debt wasn't due yet.

Just give me ten days. I'll pay you with interest.

I promise.

You forgot when it was due,

but you didn't forget to go to the cops and tell them I forced you into it.

What's up with that?

No, sir.

There must be a misunderstanding. Your people must've made a mistake.

I was just there…

to visit a relative of mine, sir.

I wouldn't go to the cops.

I'll pay what I owe.

Are you talking about the flaming guy who just warmed us up?

You really burned him.

If you don't have anything else to say,

my food is getting cold, Namık.

I ask for forgiveness, sir.

Just give me one last chance.

We only give a chance

to people who eat with us here.

Just like how we ate at this table back then.

Bon appétit, man.

Let's start the ceremony, guys.

What? What ceremony?

What do you mean?

Go ahead, İhsan. The meat is getting cold.

Bon appétit.

Ali! Sir, please!

Please forgive me. I beg you.

I have kids, sir. Please don't do this.

Forgive me. I swear I'll pay you.

I swear I'll pay you with interest. I'm begging you, sir.

Ali, please.

Stop! What's happening?

I'm begging you, Ali. Please, sir.

Ali, please! Help me. Forgive me.

Please don't do this to me. Forgive me, sir. I respect you.

Forgive me.

Sir, please!

Please! Please forgive me.

I have kids, sir.

Ali! Sir!

-I take it you're Russian? -Da.

Hear that, Altan? She said "da." I'm fluent in Russian.

I'm sure a lot of perverts pester you, miss.

How about we go visit Dolmabahçe and Topkapı one weekend?

You don't speak Russian,

but I speak Turkish, you motherfucker.

That big guy at the door is my husband. So walk along, da?

Da, ma'am. Did you hear that, Altan? She called me a motherfucker.

I told you I was fluent in Russian.

But I could already tell that by looking at you.

She acted like that because of you. I'd chat her up otherwise.

Yeah, right.

Check here first. You'll check the others after.

Of course, ma'am.

Be quiet. There's a meeting.

All right.

Damn. Why is she so tense? I just don't get it.

Where do you think he put the map?

We won't find it.

Look, Altan. The place is full of artifacts.

Should we steal a few?

Come on, man. We're not burglars.

We're here to steal something, after all.

What's wrong with adding a few items to our list?

Look at this.

It looks just like you, Altan.

You're hilarious. You do know your dicks. It's your job, after all.

Is running an erotic shop beneath you, my good sir?

What do you do, then? You unemployed prick.

Unlike you, I don't see a dick when I look at it.

I see art. I see a sculpture.

What a connoisseur! As if you're an art history major.

You're just ignorant.

You don't know this, but my father was a curator.

Your father wasn't a curator.

He swept the floors at the museum. He cleaned people's shit.

-Don't talk about him like that! -He did sweep the floors.

He just served Japanese tourists, you dense fuck!

-What did your father do, then? -Your--

He just gambled his money away!

-Shove it up your ass! -What the hell?

-It's him. Why were you yelling? -Why are you so loud?

-You can't just yell like that. -Me? You… I'm sorry, sir.

Didn't they tell you the boss had a meeting?

There was a political debate on. That must be it.

Altan, why do they keep coming down on us? Telling us to be quiet and all.

It's not like they're doing rocket science in there.

Forget about me. How dare they treat you like this?

-Let it go. -I'm serious.

-What are you doing, man? -I'll kill them.

I'll go talk to them. I swear I'll do it, man.

-See? They're making me hit myself. -Dude…

-I swear I'll set myself on fire. -What are you doing?

Where are you going? You'll get us in trouble.

What is he doing? He'll be the end of us.

It's all my design, İhsan.

It's how I pass my free time.

Just torture doesn't mean much. Am I right, Samet?

Yes, boss.

If you don't anything behind, people will just forget about you.

-Am I right, Samet? -Yes, boss.

Everyone's talking about your shower coffins, sir.

Just look at it, İhsan.

Who could ever forget such a show?

Except the guy in the coffin, no one could.

You see, İhsan, we have all sorts of festivities here.

You're running out of time to pay what you owe.

I don't want this to be our last lunch.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Yes, sir.

Bring me my money in an hour, then.

If you're late by even a minute, you'll be the star of the show.

I'm just telling you beforehand.

Now go ahead and enjoy.

I swear the lunatic will get us caught.

-Altan. -What?

What kind of people are these, man?

They're doing weird stuff in there.

What is going on here?

Forget about them. Let's just get the map.

Where is the damn thing?

This is so bizarre. Oh, no.

He's dead!

-He's dead, man! -Altan! He's dead!

What are you doing here? Who are you?

Hey, Altan.

Now we're fucked.

-What did you do? -Boss…

That was worth millions of dollars.

-Run, Altan! -Run!

They're running away. Go!

MOUNT ARARAT

They're coming.

The dancers are here.

The oil is here. The organ is here.

What a nice car.

Go!

What a car.

Salaam alaikum.

-Salaam alaikum. -Welcome, my man.

This is Ebu Salih.

Ebu Salih, this is Ferruh. He owns Mount Ararat.

Welcome.

It's so nice to meet you.

-Mr. Ferruh. -Yeah.

Ebu Salih says

they've come two thousand miles, but all they're seeing is an empty lot.

He's asking where the strait is.

Here? Of course not. This is Mount Ararat.

This is the best land in the world. He can't call it an empty lot.

You know, this used to be… There's water here.

The sea was here after Noah's flood, but it dried up afterwards.

It's God's will.

Maybe he'll bring it back.

We can't know what God will do.

So it's a superb location. Tell him he can't find anything like it.

Sir, Ebu Salih is very upset.

He says his time is valuable. He thinks you're conning him.

Maybe he can have people rafting here. He can build a ski resort for the winter.

He can do anything he wants.

He can rent it out to families who want to barbecue in the summer.

Here's the deed.

It's in my name. Tell him.

Don't translate everything, man. Come on.

Is this you, Mr. Ferruh?

Back when I was single. I'm fatter now.

What do you want to do?

Ebu Salih doesn't want it.

We're leaving. Sorry.

All right.

Forget the other deal as well.

Watch out for the garden, kid.

You ran over the tomatoes.

The scumbag told us it was seaside.

Your car is fucking ugly, you sons of bitches.

Was the well too small?

I told you to dig more and make it bigger, man.

Look at it. It's tiny. What is this?

You're having soup too.

Throw that thing away.

I've had enough of you too.

I'm your big brother, damn it!

Altan, you know what?

If we had stolen that map,

Ali Kapan would have us killed for sure, brother.

We'd be in the shower coffin next week.

You can't be this dense.

How would he know we stole it?

Whatever. You're right.

Stop berating me, man. Come on.

I didn't tell you to look inside the shower coffin!

I'd never seen one before! Why were you peeking anyway?

-Stop yelling at me, Altan! -You stop yelling at me!

-Put your hand down. -No.

I swear I'll. Don't bite! Don't!

They could've stolen everything and you'd never know.

The scoundrels were right here, and you were just hanging out like morons.

-Look at it. -They went into the woods, boss.

I sent Hamza after them.

They dropped this as they ran away.

Can I take a picture of it?

I'll send it to people so I can get the money.

Get Bilal Özkök here.

Yes, boss.

Hey! Are you seeing what I'm seeing, Gürkan?

Wow! We made it, Altan.

Let's go help him so that he has to show us gratitude.

Maybe he'll drive us downtown.

Yeah. If he won't, the scumbag can stay here.

-Scumbag. -Let's go.

Look at him. He's just a kid, man.

People are so inconsiderate. They left him here.

They'll kill him and sell his organs, man.

Maybe his father went to get gas or something.

-I don't know. It's so strange. -Hey, kiddo!

What are you doing here? Is your daddy getting gas?

Let's talk to his father. Hey, Dad!

Hey, Daddy! Hey--

Altan, what the hell is this?

-It's a long story, man. -But he's so short, Altan.

You again? You pussy.

Please don't call me that in front of others, man.

I'm not a pussy. I just like to take care of myself.

I'll cut it up.

Cut what?

Your beard.

Altan, who is this garden bush of a man?

I'll cut you up too, you dufus.

Did you just call me a dufus?

Who do you think you are?

Hang on a second. What are you trying to start, dude?

Hang on, man.

I can't take this anymore. Who do you think you are?

What a nice horse.

So nice.

You know what? I respect him, Altan.

I just don't know how and when he took our clothes.

The bastard took my wallet too. Forget the money, but my ID--

Altan, what is the thing I'm feeling on my back?

This isn't a motorbike. Just scoot back.

All right, man. Fine.

Altan, look. How did he manage to find us so quickly?

-Just run, man. Come on. Fuck it. -Altan, don't!

Altan!

Altan, just so you know, I'm grunting because I'm in pain.

I'm not enjoying myself either. You're on my leg.

Hey! These two are gay!

Look, everyone.

What are you doing in our neighborhood?

No, man. It's not like that.

I swear. Not me.

Who are you talking about? Me?

-She's calling us… -This town has dignity.

Burn them!

They're poisoning the youth.

They're LPG! Stone them!

No, man. Wait a minute.

-Come on. -What's going on?

-Wait! -Hey! Leave them to me.

Stop.

How dare you threaten us in our neighborhood?

What do you think you're doing?

Stop!

Easy.

It's not starting?

No, it's fine. I'm just waiting for the sake of it.

For God's sake!

They'll end us, man. Just start it.

-You want me to push start it? -They'll shoot us, Altan.

Damn it. Just work, you tinfoil van.

Come on, KITT.

It started.

Floor it.

Floor it, Altan! Come on!

I'm in shame, Mr. Ali.

You know I'll make it up to you.

I'll do the talking.

Lobster is a funny animal.

Don't mind its ugliness.

-Its meat is the tastiest. -Sir, please! I'm begging you, Ali!

It's too hot!

But only if you know how to cook it.

Ali! It's scolding. It's too hot.

Please, sir!

It's boiling!

The secret recipe is cooking it alive.

Sir!

-Or the meat will go bad. -Please don't do this. It burns!

I'm begging you, sir. It burns!

And you have to put a plug in its ass so it doesn't go soft.

It burns!

We'll try that with our next guest.

It burns!

Let me go! Sir, please!

It's too hot. It burns.

Get me out of here, sir!

Ali!

I'll pay you back!

Why did you invite me, Mr. Ali?

What's with the show?

I invite you to my dinner table,

yet you're yelling at me.

Listen to me, Bilal.

Don't play dumb with me.

I'm from the hood too.

I didn't inherit all this from my father.

I was kind enough to let you join our community.

I gave you the opportunity to be taken seriously,

but what did you do?

You took me for a fool and tried to con me.

Just so you know, your dogs failed their task.

Now,

you're going to pay for my damages before I tried my new methods on you.

Then you're going to bring them to me.

This is an order.

Give him a pen.

Bilal, make sure you're hungry the next time you're here.

We'll have spit-roasted lamb.

Boys, we skewer the lamb, right?

Yes, boss.

Right.

Bilal will be our guest next week.

If he shows up with something,

we'll eat at the table.

If he shows up empty-handed, however, he'll be the star of our little show.

You…

Boss, no!

If you don't find those two idiots

in 24 hours,

I'll bury you all in wet concrete.

Understood?

Look at that, Altan.

-What is it this time? -Look, Altan.

Am I dreaming or something, man?

Just be careful not to cum.

Altan, pull over.

Wow!

What is this, man?

The Instagram Discover page is here.

I swear everyone's doing squats nowadays.

Look at that ass. It's built like a tank. Is this a coup?

Ladies, do you want to have pişmaniye together?

Exactly, Altan.

If I had a girl like that,

I'd walk around the town with her every day.

Go ahead and neigh, Altan.

What's up, ladies?

Is there construction work in heaven? Why are you down here?

Hey, pinkie!

Pinkie!

If you're wearing pink, you need to hop on this dick.

Hop on, he says!

Go ahead and howl, Altan!

Did you commit a cardinal sin, girls?

Because it looks like God sent you down here as punishment.

They're like blockbuster movies, Gürkan.

I can't get enough of them.

Shine it on the tall one!

You're making me shiver, man.

Just a shiver, Altan?

I'm like an earthquake!

I'll rock your world.

Come on, girls. Look at us.

Altan…

Are you bored, guys?

Oh, ma'am. You're such a lovely old lady.

Maybe we can make you happy.

What do you mean?

6 SECONDS LATER

You told me you'd drive us around town.

Why would I drive you around, lady?

You're exercising when you're supposed to knit.

This is such a scam. It's aggravated fraud, even.

I'm done, man.

What do you mean?

I'm done. I'm fine.

I'm okay.

Congratulations, man. Six seconds.

I had so much fun! Yours was so handsome.

Such a lovely treat.

I feel dirty, Altan.

I'm not the innocent kid I used to be.

Oh, Mommy.

I'm not a virgin anymore.

I'm not.

Let's just go home and take a shower.

We can't walk around like this. Come on, brother.

Bakiye?

Sister!

The light of my life, who did this to you?

I will find him and--

Easy there.

How can you do this to us, Bilal?

This is so shameful.

I have a tiny request, sir.

Just untie our arms and tie us the other way around.

This is just wrong. He's been humping me all day long.

I'm so hurt.

That's your request?

-You're humping me. -I'm not.

Shut up!

You're going to keep quiet till the boss is here.

You basically destroyed his wife.

The boss is going to marry you.

You can't just hit and run!

I'm here, you moron.

This is it! I swear that was a gunshot.

This is the action I needed.

Welcome, action. Welcome, promotion.

Go take him to the hospital or something. I don't want to see him ever again.

Boss…

Sir…

You sure know how to talk the talk but you never walk the walk.

You ruined my operation.

You fucked it up.

I told him we shouldn't do it, sir.

I told him he'd break something there, and he'd cut our feet off.

-Didn't I, Altan? -When?

I told you when you broke the sculpture, man.

I broke the sculpture? It was you, man.

Damn you! It wasn't me.

He's just saying that because his fiancée is here, sir.

Shame on you, man. We're basically family now.

I swear I'm so hurt.

You and your sister can--

Hey!

Shut up!

I'm going to kill you both when this is over.

I'll decide the method later.

You're no good to me dead right now.

I have a tiny request, sir.

Can you remove her gag? She can't breathe properly.

What?

Your sister told us to put that in her mouth herself.

She's a maniac.

She even poked my boys with a knife.

What's going on, Gürkan?

Who are these guys?

Don't worry, sis. I'll save you.

Hey, you. You have a whip?

Listen. I have handcuffs in my room. Bring them over.

Hey. I'll put them on, though.

The sister's insane, and the brother's a scoundrel.

Thank God you have the uncle.

He gives me hope.

What uncle are you talking about?

Can we leave my uncle out of this?

Your uncle's a powerful man.

He says he owns half of Mount Ararat.

I told you they'd know everything about you.

Altan, I'm your ticket out of this, so stop bitching.

-You talk a lot. -Shut up.

Shit.

I swear that's Altan.

I never thought I'd find you here. I'm going to fuck you up.

Tell your uncle

I don't care if he has to sell the mountain or his body,

but I'm going to get my money.

Until the debt is paid,

your sister will be my guest.

Here we go.

Are you all ready?

Hey. I'll ride each and every one of you.

Hey, blondie. Go ahead. I want to look at your ass.

Let me go!

She should've been a guy.

Bilal Özkök's in it too.

Calm down.

Calm down, Lieutenant. Just get even with all of them at once.

The Matrix Prison is a cold place, Bilal. I'm going to end you.

Let me go. Come on!

Let me go.

All right. We're going to have fun, boy.

Don't worry. Come on. Take me, then.

Let's not go that far.

Gürkan, I really hope your uncle is real.

Plan B was always my uncle, brother.

He can handle this in a second, but--

But what, you dick? Look at us.

We could've gone to your uncle instead of trying to steal the map.

You motherfuckers!

Lieutenant?

You can't fool me.

Where were you when Bilal Özkök was shoving a stake up my ass?

What was I supposed to do?

Jump in front of you and tell them to shove it up mine?

I almost died, man.

Excuse me.

May I ask something?

Seeing you're a cop, aren't you supposed to save us?

-Who's the bastard? -I really am a bastard, sir.

I really am, but your friend's trying to rape me right now.

I'm getting raped right now. Please save me.

He's lying. I swear. Why are you lying, man?

Can you just be quiet for a second?

You really…

You really should arrest me, sir. I tried to attack him.

Hey, baby! I'm a pervert. I've always been one. Let me touch you.

You…

No! Don't!

Just leave him alone.

You're not even tied together. You just wanted to do this, didn't you?

Move. You too.

Don't move.

Stop.

You're going to get me Bilal Özkök.

He's going to be mine.

We can talk in peace now, Altan. Get up, brother.

So we're a big, powerful family.

I'd help you live a good life, but we've been having some issues.

I'm fine with just staying alive.

I'm young. I want to live.

No, Altan. Morale is important.

Look at us. We're all hurt.

I'm going to take you to a club. My cousin is a DJ there.

I hear it's an amazing place.

Chicks throw their panties on the stage.

My cousin's very talented.

They're going to make him a partner. We can have some fun.

-So? -So what? Let's go there.

We'll blow off some steam and get my uncle's address.

I swear you're the most carefree guy I have ever met.

Just relax, buddy.

Hello, brother.

-We don't let single men in. -What? Why is that?

Company policy. Move along, guys.

-Hey! -Don't block the door.

-Easy. -Shame on you.

Let me guess.

"My friend is here."

-What? -I don't have any friends.

I just met him, even.

"My girlfriend is here. She won't pick up."

-I don't have one. -I've never had one.

-I don't have a relationship. -There's just no way.

"I was already here. I was just buying smokes."

-No, man. I quit. -We don't smoke.

-Just no. -We've never--

You can't fool me. "I'm visiting the city. Please let me in."

-I was born and raised in Istanbul, man. -I'm going to strangle him.

-Don't. -Should I hit him?

-No. No hitting. -I will.

-You're breaking my heart. -Just let me.

You swore on it.

-I swear I'll punch him. -But you swore you wouldn't.

İrfan!

Welcome, ma'am.

-Move, guys. Come on. -Don't let poor people in.

Enough is enough. You're upsetting me already.

-Look at that. -You're not even trying to work.

Shut up, you.

Hey, Apo!

-Come here, Apo. -Hey, Gürkan.

-What's up? -You're such an asshole, man.

Look at you.

You're like a barrel full of lies, man.

You told me you were the DJ!

You don't know the half of it, cousin.

İrfan, they're with me. Let them in.

Just get in. Go ahead.

We were… Just go.

-Just don't harass people. -Of course.

-Should I beat him up? -Just go.

He's my cousin, man.

Just go.

I can't believe you, Gürkan. Who would make him partner?

He looks like he's mopping floors to pay his debts.

You're so funny.

-I recognize you. -Who?

This bastard.

They ruined my life, cousin.

Hey. They ruined my life too.

What's wrong with you guys?

They have my sister.

Your sister will be fine. What have I done anyway?

Apo, what happened to you?

From DJ'ing to mopping? What kind of career is that?

Tell me about it.

Is this for real?

The club is amazing. The chicks are gorgeous.

I have work to do. I'll come back, okay?

Okay, Apo. Just don't leave. We need to talk.

Go ahead.

You know what, Gürkan?

You got me in here. You're the one responsible.

For what?

I'm not a virgin anymore,

so I just want to keep scoring, man.

Go ahead, brother! Don't hold back!

You guys having fun?

What the hell? You're a waiter now?

I have to be everything, man.

Apo, I need my uncle's number.

Sure. I'll text you. What's up?

We're in big trouble. He's the only one who can save us.

Please tell him to save me if you can get a hold of him.

He won't answer my calls.

Come here.

I'm going to save you from this dump.

Just trust me. You're the best, man.

Now, keep it coming.

-Right away. -Go ahead.

Keep them coming. Come on.

Are we having fun?

Yeah!

-Are we having fun? -Yeah!

Then it's time to dance.

The princess of the stage,

our own Ricky Martin,

Fancy Suat!

Ricky! Ricky!

Ricky! Ricky!

-What is this place, man? -I can't believe it.

I have to save you, Apo.

I hope you can, cousin.

Ricky! Ricky!

You just love me, don't you?

I just want to lick your cheering mouths.

I swear I'm going to eat you up.

Or you'll eat me out.

What a bad joke. Are we ready?

Yeah!

-Do you want to have fun together? -Yeah!

Let's go, then!

Hey there.

What? I just said hey.

Mustafa.

Mustafa! Look at them.

Ridiculous! Scandalous! Frivolous!

I don't know if the Chinese ate a bat or fucked it,

but just look at us.

A bat fucked us up, Mustafa.

I get so mad, Ercüment.

I've been quarantined for three months. I'm fed up with it.

Korean, Chinese…

I want to slap every Asian I see.

-I missed the chicks so much. -But why?

This is the new world order, Mustafa. They're going to put chips up our asses.

Let them. Our suffering will be over, at least.

I'm tired of watching porn.

This is a globalist plot, Mustafa.

What?

-Globalist. -What's that?

They want us gone. They want a genderless society.

We're all going to be pansies.

I don't want anything to do with globes, Ercüment.

Of course not.

Ercüment, I get so mad!

He's threatening us with his dick, man.

He's basically saying he'll come at us.

Wait! No one can fuck us!

Who can fuck us?

No one!

Fuck you and Illuminati!

I don't want any pansies here!

-God! -Ercüment?

Ercüment!

You bastards!

You ruined my set. Fuck off!

We're like trouble magnets, man.

-Run, brother. -Run!

Security, get over here.

Kick them out. Throw them away.

They know what they say about running away.

-What is it? -I'm not sure…

Stop laughing! I stepped on glass.

Get him out of my sight.

You too.

Let's get it out in the bathroom.

-Come on. -Where is it?

Hey. Shut the doors.

No one leaves.

The show's just beginning.

-Hey. -What?

Altan, listen.

We need to remove it. It'll get infected.

So?

I know! We need alcohol.

-What? -Alcohol.

Where can we find alcohol? Where are we?

We're in a club, man. Just go get some.

-We'll drink some too. -Me?

-Yeah. -I won't go back there.

If we go back there, they'll…

-What are we going to do, then? -I know!

Altan!

There's ammonia in urine. Let's pee on it.

Come on, man. No.

-Come on. -What?

Come on. We'll pee on it so it doesn't get infected.

What are you talking about, man?

All right. Hang on a second.

I'll remove my shoe first.

Go ahead.

Your foot needs to be naked.

For God's sake…

I can't believe those bastards. They're driving me insane.

-It's off. -Look.

-I'm slipping. -I'll hold you.

-I'll turn back. -No. It's fine.

-Come on. I'll go in. -All right.

Get it from the inside.

-Okay. -Hold it well.

If I move it from the inside--

Don't! That hurts like hell. It hurts my insides.

-It hurts. -But I can't help it.

-What if I did it to you? -Shut up.

-Would you like it? -Come on.

-Just no. -Spread them.

-Don't go deeper. -I'm in.

Don't go deeper.

You keep pushing.

Just get it out. Are you done?

-Hold the bottom. -I am.

Just do it at once.

Slow down. Faster!

Just do it faster. Slow down!

-Just tell me if you're ready. -It hurts. I'm ready.

-I feel so relieved. -Me too.

I've never had something this big inside me.

I've never held something this big either.

Imagine that being inside you.

-Sounds bad. -Yeah.

-Thank you so much. -You're welcome.

Scandalous!

You whores.

You ruined my respectable club.

Listen, ma'am.

It's not what it looks like.

Fuck you. Piss off.

I heard everything.

I'm going to punish you myself.

-Get over here. -What is this, man?

Look at the windows. You…

For God's sake…

The windows are gone, man.

Where are the windows?

Slow down, man.

Gürkan! You bastard!

Don't come any closer, Ercan. You'll regret it, brother.

Give me the keys.

Give me the van back.

The boss fired me because of you. He even cursed my dead mother.

-Fuck off! -God!

How many lives have you ruined so far, Gürkan?

It's not our fault, Altan.

Maybe it was a welcome change for his mother.

Someone talked about her, at least.

They're still talking. Get in!

-Just get in. -My foot hurts.

They're going to do things to you, cousin.

Poor guy.

-He's not dead, right? -Just let the bastard die.

Go die somewhere else. Get up.

Get up, you. Piss off.

Go die there.

What is this, for God's sake? Just die over there.

Boss, Bilal found them but didn't do anything.

We told him he owed us eight million, but he didn't kill them?

Bilal must have a plan.

Find them

and shoot them in the head.

Let's spoil Bilal's plan so he falls into my lap.

What did you take our club for, you morons?

You didn't have to take it that far because we do certain shows.

You think I'm a fool?

-Never. -No.

Doing raunchy shit in the bathroom, huh?

Your fathers weren't half the man I am.

-No. -Listen, lovebirds.

That place is our livelihood.

What are you doing?

You're grown men. You think this is appropriate?

I'll teach you a lesson, though.

Are you ready?

How can one be ready for something like this?

Dear God, please hear my prayer.

Just a sudden heart attack or a seizure,

or a stray bullet or something…

Please just take me, God.

Listen, sir. There's been a misunderstanding.

-We're not what you think-- -Shut up!

I heard everything, you nances.

Mr. Suat, what is it that you want from us?

Doggy.

Doggy? Don't be ridiculous.

Can't we help you in some other way? I mean, what is this?

"Let's do it, Altan."

"Slow down, Gürkan."

I'm going to beat she shit out of you.

I'll make you the club's slaves. Just like your cousin.

It's 2020, man. Slaves?

They even made Obama president.

-What is this? -Don't worry.

You'll get addicted to it.

Altan, thank you for everything you did for me.

-Please wish me well. -I do, brother.

I'd never imagine something like this happening to me.

I know how they say everything dies one day,

but I've never imagined this.

I hope there's no afterlife, Altan.

If I run into my late father there, I can't look him in the eyes.

What is he doing?

What the hell?

Wow.

What are you doing, you perverts?

You can't just barge in here, you bastard.

Run, Altan!

Altan, run!

Stop, you two!

Run, Altan!

Run.

My spleen… My spleen hurts because of all the running.

-Altan. -Yeah?

Run, man.

I swear they'll cut your spleen out.

Look at me. Check if I got shot or something.

Altan, run. There's no shame in running. He's coming, man.

Hi, Seko.

Thanks for inviting us.

Let's hear it, man.

This is good.

Let's just mix with the crowd.

Yeah, right. We're dressed just for it. This is how I dress every day.

Gürkan, I'm so hurt.

-What do you want? -Let's just do it.

Hey, Seko. Who are these morons?

Look at them. Every pill-popper comes here.

Burning Man's on the next street, honey.

Wow.

Welcome. Take a seat.

Go ahead, sweetheart.

Look at him.

Did you perform your ablution?

I did, but it was some time ago.

Do you perform your prayers?

On Fridays, when I can.

Wouldn't God question the clothes you're wearing?

He'll question us, not you. What's it to you?

Hey! Turn it up.

What are you two up to this time?

Arif, find out where they are. Just track them.

What happened?

-I just lost them. -How?

They're somewhere around here.

What's that?

Hey!

-What's going on? -Who's shooting?

This is my neighborhood.

How dare you shoot people here?

No man can stand against us.

Answer me, you pricks.

You shot me.

Get inside, Bilal.

These are mobsters.

Fuck.

Fuck you too, Cemil. Call the cops, will you?

Don't just watch.

They ruined my life.

Want to recite the Shahada together?

No.

This is all completely normal, man. I'm serious.

I swear this is all normal.

Entertain some guy's fantasies with whips.

Steal some poor guys' clothes.

As if that's not enough, steal shoes from a mosque.

Damn it. I'm praying our mouths won't become asses all of a sudden.

I mean, what else can happen to us?

I run a shop, after all.

When this is over, we'll pay them back.

Just drop it. I look good, though.

-I look like a serious guy. -Yeah. So serious.

Oh, no!

You!

It's them again! Run!

-Floor it! -You!

Did they plant chips in our asses?

They smell us, man. Can't you see? They all look like bears.

They're there.

Altan, let's go in here.

Hey.

Who do you think you are barging in here like this, you pricks?

Calm down, boss.

I think they're Bilal the Axe's guys.

Let's not start something for no reason.

No. Of course not

We're not here for something like that. Sir, they're just--

Don't act soft, man.

They'll fuck us up if you talk like that.

-Let me handle it. -Please don't.

-Hang on. -Please.

Just trust me, man.

What's up, man?

Someone here has upset our boss.

Who was it?

Did Bilal the Axe send you?

Let's say he did, you moron.

What's it to you?

This is against our code.

We had split the district in two.

He'll get his cut in two days.

If you're telling me he's broke and he needs it now,

he shouldn't have sent his dogs, then.

He should've come himself. That's what the code dictates.

How dare you speak ill of my boss?

Don't you dare talk about Bilal the Axe!

You think I'm going to let you live?

I'll fucking destroy you!

I'll break this glass!

I'll burn this place down!

I swear I'll…

Damn you! How dare you?

You…

Just stop, man.

-What are you-- -Don't, boss.

They're obviously testing us

Let's just not throw the deal away for two days.

The money's ready anyway.

Let's just give it to them so they can piss off.

If they come here again,

we'll shoot them.

Let's not spill any blood just now.

Hold it, Mazhar.

Damn it. You're such an idiot.

Well… All right, Fuat.

We're fucking clowns.

Should we just…

Let's just go pay Bilal the Axe a visit.

It's his money. Let him count it.

Why would we count his money anyway?

-Let's just leave. -Sure.

-Come on. -Sure.

Sure, brother.

Let's go. Have a nice day.

-Don't cross us! -Good luck.

-Take care. -Don't you dare.

Oh my God. I can't believe it.

This is so unbelievable.

Gürkan, what was that just now?

I told you you'd have a good life, man. You should've trusted me.

-See, I'm doing it. -Do it, Gürkan. Give me a good life.

Just do it.

Gürkan, let's just forget about it.

Let's hand it over to Bilal Özkök.

Let's tell him it's our first payment.

That'll win us some time, right?

No way!

If we take this money to Bilal Özkök,

he'll literally cut our asses off, and we'll shit out of our mouths.

No way. I earned this money.

Didn't you see me acting tough in front of them?

Enough with the bragging, man.

There are so many mobsters named Bilal. It's like every other guy is a Bilal.

You're right.

My phone won't just shut up.

-Hey, Altan. -What?

Apo just texted me my uncle's address.

Seriously? It's finally over!

He wants us to save him too, Altan.

Just tell him he's not a fucking priority right now.

Anyway, you're going to be so shocked

when I introduce you to the clan.

Thank you so much, brother.

He's talking like they're British royalty.

-Listen. -What?

Hang on.

You haven't had a taste of the clan yet.

It's like… See, I purposefully stayed away up until today.

But once you get a taste of it,

you'll go, "I'll kiss your uncle's feet. Please ask him to take me in."

But there's no fucking way I'm going to help you out.

Hello.

What is it now?

Hey. First of all, don't play tough.

Second of all, Bilal the Axe wants the money now.

We have an urgent payment to make, so we need the money.

You think you can extort us like this?

Çağlar? Are you okay, man?

Çağlar?

Mr. Ali, sir.

We're due 26 million in total today.

There's an issue with Bilal Özkök's check, though.

Get me Bilal Özkök.

Don't harm him. I'm going to chop him up myself.

Yes, boss.

We didn't see it coming, boss.

Two guys went there before us and used your name.

I think they gave them the money.

They just jumped us.

Our guys are either wounded or dead.

I should've killed those dirtbags first thing.

They've become a problem now.

Boss.

What is it?

Our mole in Ali Kapan's place called.

Ali Kapan is after you since we didn't pay on time.

Take me to the cottage. I'll figure something out.

Boss, what are we going to do with her? She's been such a pain.

Take her to an STD clinic.

Just leave her there and run without looking back.

Yes, boss.

Here they are.

What the hell?

My favorite type of guy. Don't run. I'll mess you up.

-Are you going to pay, sir? -Shame on you, İsmail.

You wouldn't even be in Istanbul if it weren't for me.

I know, sir, but the boss--

To hell with your boss.

I took care of your wedding.

I took care of your son's circumcision. What are you saying?

And God bless you for all that, but it's out of my hands.

You haven't paid in a year.

He doesn't want you to have tea. What am I supposed to do?

I swear this is the last one, so just enjoy it as much as you can.

So what are you saying?

You might as well kill me. Am I wrong?

-Who's this? -Uncle, it's Gürkan, your nephew.

-Get him some tea. -The payment?

Just come on.

Just bring him some tea, man.

How are you? Welcome. Where have you been, you rascal?

Take a seat.

Where have you been?

I tried calling, but I couldn't reach you.

You keep changing your number.

It's like you're a tranny.

You know how my business is, son.

I have a lot of enemies, for God's sake.

People keep begging me for money as well.

I'm tired of giving, you know.

I have to do it. Who's this?

I'm Altan, sir.

-It's so-- -He's your friend, huh?

Good.

You guys want to have some fun, huh?

I missed you, you rascal.

Since you guys are here, let's not just sit here.

Just because he's your friend.

No, sir. We're in trouble. It's just… Tell him.

We want to ask you something. We're not dressed for a night out anyway.

I'll take you somewhere nice. Come on. Get up.

Let's go. Get up, you. Come on.

Am I extremely lucky or what?

They'll make me chief of defense, let alone a lieutenant.

Hey, Birol. Where are you guys?

Hey! Watchman!

Are you okay, miss?

Fucking hell.

-I… What? -I'm going to explain. Hang on.

But they're getting away.

Just hang on, damn it.

You know, Altan, even if he never calls me,

even if he's a dirtbag, he's still my oldest nephew.

His father helped me a lot.

Love you, Uncle. I hope you never leave us.

He's just amazing.

His father was so dear to me. I mean it.

If I'm able to stand on Mount Ararat today,

it's all thanks to him.

I gave him my kidney right away when he needed it.

The most important organ.

You drink water, and it turns it into urine.

I just had two, and I gave him one of them.

It's such a big deal. His family is so dear to me.

His father would kill or die for me.

You two are comfortable, right?

What's this, though?

Hey, waiter! Come here.

-Yes, sir? -What's this, son?

I have guests. Let them feast, son.

-It's like you hate me. -Right away, sir.

We already have everything, sir.

We don't want to be a burden.

Don't mention it. You're basically my nephew too, Altan.

You hear that, Altan? He called you his nephew.

You're in the clan now.

Just shoot whomever, man. It'll be fine.

You know what?

Mobs and thugs are all just talk anyway.

Clans are the best.

Oh, right. You don't know. We can have multiple wives.

I'll talk to my sister. She'll be fine.

You'll have three beautiful wives.

Seriously?

I'll have sex all night every night.

All night every night

Balls to the walls Just keep going

Eins, zwei, Polizei You want her? Just say hi

-What was that about? -Look at you two.

You're all riled up. You're thinking with your dicks now.

Let's get our blood flowing, then. Come on. Get up.

I swear you're such a good dancer.

I swear to God.

The last time I danced was at his circumcision ceremony.

That felt good. I swear.

Waiter!

Come on, you two.

Gürkan, for real?

Enjoy yourself, Altan.

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

Welcome, all three of you.

Look at you two.

I swear your excitement is palpable, you dirtbags.

I was seriously fed up with jacking off every day, Uncle.

Excuse me. May I ask you something? Are you single?

Altan, son.

You do know we manage Mount Ararat, right? We run the place.

-What do you mean? -The place is basically ours.

We're looking to sell it if we come across a wealthy family.

You're funny, sir.

I'm sure you don't need to sell it.

No, son. It's just business.

The buyer needs to be wealthy, though.

Rich people are different. I can't deal with the poor.

You lend a poor guy 50 bucks, it'll take him forever to pay it back.

But if he's rich… Ask him. He knows.

But rich people are different. He'll just be like, "In a week."

You'll become friends and have coffee.

It's always like that.

You know what I mean?

-What? What's this, son? -It's the bill, sir.

What the hell?

You can buy land in some cities with this kind of money, son.

Look at it, for God's sake.

Son, I'm the legendary owner of Mount Ararat.

I don't pay bills. People pay me.

Go tell your boss he should be thankful I'm not bashing his skull right now.

I'm here with my nephews. There are ladies here.

Just leave us alone. Go.

All right, sir.

Tell the owner I'll let this one slide.

What a dickhead, right?

I was about to strangle him.

You want some dolma?

She says yes to everything. Now, that's a good woman.

She'll keep saying yes until dawn.

After that, we'll be complete strangers.

I have to hand it to them, though.

I've never seen a group of guys so capable of beating people up.

There was this bearded guy especially.

He seriously pounded on me so hard.

I respect him.

Here's what I don't get.

Someone was sucking my nipple near the end of the beating.

Also, they had already smashed bottles on our heads.

You didn't ask them to suck yours instead.

You kept screaming at them. "Leave me alone!"

You could've taken a few slaps for me.

I'm just glad they broke the bottles on our heads, Uncle.

-They could've shoved them up our asses. -They're experts at that too.

Yeah. I'm so glad we had some cash. Right, Altan?

The ladies laughed at us, though.

What ladies? I don't remember.

I'm not familiar with that part of the city.

You know, my face is mostly fine.

My ribs hurt the most.

I usually go berserk, but it didn't happen back there.

I waited for it, but it never happened.

I just couldn't get mad. I'm mad now, though.

For instance, I won't let this slide!

I won't!

Just wait and see what I'm going to do to them.

Hello? Can you hear me?

Get everyone and their rifles.

Go slaughter everyone at the Çınar Club in Beyoğlu.

Destroy the damn place. Come on.

Shoot everyone there. Kill them all.

Come on.

I feel disoriented.

Gürkan, if we possess such power…

I mean, I'm not sure if we do, but if we do,

aren't we wasting time at clubs and stuff?

Shouldn't we use it to save our skins?

They have your sister.

I mean, your sister, your call.

You just can't see the bigger picture.

My uncle just signed their death warrants.

This is a big deal, man. Just don't worry.

Your sister, your call.

Hey, you two.

Did something happen to Bakiye?

What is it?

Answer me.

Why didn't you tell me sooner

if you had such a problem, son?

I swear they have us backed up against the wall, Uncle.

Why, though? Who are these people?

Tell me. What do they want? Give me his number.

What's this about?

This guy, Bilal Özkök, kidnapped Bakiye.

But the real trouble is Ali Kapan.

If you can just handle him, Bilal Özkök will bring her on his own.

We don't "handle" anyone, son. We just shoot them till they die.

Our code is so strict they'll go insane.

They have money. I'll take it from them.

I swear I will.

You two hang back. I'll take care of this myself.

What was his name?

Ali Kapan.

-Hello? -Hello!

Are you Ali Kapan? Actually, I don't care what your name is.

Who are you? Who the hell are you?

I'm Death. I'm here to take your life.

How dare you attack my nephew, huh?

You know what I'm going to do to you?

I'm going to roll you up

and throw you on the campfire.

You just wait and see.

We're a clan, boy! You should've known who I was.

Hang up!

I think you were a bit too harsh.

He should be glad I didn't curse his mother.

Ali, sir, please. Just tell me who provoked you.

Tell me who egged you on.

Just give me the first letter. Your guys bashed my face in.

Stop talking. You're tensing up.

I don't like my meat chewy.

Please, sir. Who did this to you?

If it was one of them, just tell me and I'll punish them.

I swear to God. I have my own style, you know.

I'll just… You get what I mean, right?

Are you the ones who riled everybody up?

Who do you think you are? Are you trying to hunt whales with a rod?

You've cost me 20 million liras in just two days.

It wouldn't cover it even if I sold all your organs.

I told this bastard, sir.

I'm just a devout tradesman, sir.

I told him we shouldn't have gone behind your back.

I told him you'd end us.

Didn't I, Altan?

-When did you tell me? -Don't sell me out.

Gentlemen, if you know me,

you know how much I like hunting.

I make important decisions when I'm out hunting.

Because the forest

simulates our difficult lives, just with animals instead of humans.

Can you speak a bit louder, sir?

I can't hear you. It's windy.

-Did you say "forest"? -I did.

It simulates our difficult lives, just with animals instead of humans.

True.

Don't interrupt me again.

If you're not vigilant at any moment,

stray animals like these two will be a problem for you.

And there are other animals in the forest.

They walk around like they're the king,

talking about their clans and tribes.

Bears, for instance.

Don't call me that, sir.

Let's just drop this. You have the morons.

We gave you the money. We're even.

Don't underestimate me. I'll cause trouble for you.

That brings us to the most dangerous. The jackals.

-What do you mean? -They sell you out at first chance.

So we have to watch out for the jackals and cover our backs.

If and when we see a jackal,

we have to kill it before it tries to harm us.

So we won't become the hunted.

You understand?

Yes, sir.

Fuck the jackals, sir.

See, here's a jackal.

Sir, please.

Don't kill us.

Just untie me. I think I'm on fire or something.

These assholes used me, sir.

You know, Gürkan used me.

Fuck him, sir.

His father's an asshole too.

They stole and sold my kidney, sir.

Fuck his father too.

So I say fuck him

and his father in turn, sir.

Please untie me.

Shut up. You really talk a lot.

Just use them as kindling so we can enjoy our barbecue.

No, sir. Please no.

-Get down. -No.

-Come on. -Okay.

Please don't cook us, sir. You can't just do this to us.

Son…

Motherfucker.

Everyone keeps attacking me.

It's gasoline. The smell won't come off, though.

It'll stick around forever. Anyway, what kind of prank is this?

Life isn't a long journey for everyone, kids.

You're going to have to wait for me in the afterlife for a while.

Any last words?

Is that an authentic Zippo or a fake one?

You're going to cook me up?

Nobody move!

I'm arresting all of you in the name of the law.

-Are those watchmen? -Yes, we are. So what?

You can call us the Judges of the Night or the Shadows of Justice.

You should ask them, really. I'm going to be a cop soon.

You don't have the authority to arrest us.

We didn't do anything anyway.

So that's just a dummy and those are water pistols, huh?

Round them up! Bring them in.

-Hang on a minute. -Take them!

-Come on! -You won't get away with this.

I'm lodging a complaint against them. They kidnapped me.

Ali is their boss.

Gürkan sold me out as well.

Wait a minute, you bums.

I hope all the evidence here will be sufficient to have you locked up.

Leave them to me.

-But what did we do, sir? -Don't call me sir now.

But sir, this bastard ruined my life in just two days.

-I'm innocent! -And I'm guilty?

-Hey! -Shut up.

Tell all that in court. You're driving me insane.

Hey, brother! Are you okay?

I'm all right, sister. Are you okay, though?

I'm fine, Gürkan.

-Yeah? -Gürkan…

Run.

The officer saved me.

He's so big

and so powerful.

Oh, yeah?

Listen. We always pay our debts.

It's a hereditary trait.

When does your shift end?

Want to get some coffee? We can even have mırra.

Right! My shift! I don't drink when I'm on the job anyway.

But my shift will be over when I arrest these traitors.

Where are they?

We left your sister there. I hope she's fine.

She didn't do anything, man. She'll be fine. She'll find her way home.

We didn't do anything either.

You know what?

Let's tell the cops about every misfortune we had.

This can't go on.

Didn't you tell me this wasn't your first movie, Altan?

Your story is full of body bags.

Listen. I'll get away with this, but you won't.

Don't come to me crying for help.

What are we supposed to do, then? Tell me.

What to do…

Altan, I still have the money. We can just go have some fun.

We'll figure everything out later.

You know what, man?

I've seriously never seen such a carefree person.

I can't help it. It's just who I am.

My mother told me I was born this way.

Your mother…

I so want to curse your mother, but I won't.

Let's just see whatever trouble awaits us.

-As long as I'm with you… -That'd be so nice.

What?

You want to have some fun, guys?

Let's go.

If we don't have anything better to do…

-Please go ahead. -I mean--

-You're just babbling. -You just have to go sometimes.

-Exactly. -If you don't--

Will you just get in, Gürkan?

I'm getting in, Altan. Which one…

Where have you been?

-Oh, you. -Here I am.

Gürkan, you know what? I'm done.

What do you mean?

You know what I'm talking about. I'm done. I'm fine.

She just shook your hand, man.

But it took you eight seconds this time. You're improving, you prick.

God damn you to hell, Gürkan.

Don't curse me.

It'll bring us bad luck. Please take it back.

No!

No!