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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:39,148 --> 00:03:41,241 -'Night. -Good night. 2 00:04:36,372 --> 00:04:37,896 Right here is fine. 3 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:40,374 Think this is bleak enough? 4 00:04:40,943 --> 00:04:45,039 My ears are frozen, my feet are frozen, this is as far as it goes. 5 00:04:45,214 --> 00:04:46,545 Malt won't like this. 6 00:04:48,117 --> 00:04:51,109 -What's he not going to like? -He'll find something. 7 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:52,617 Besides us, you mean? 8 00:04:52,822 --> 00:04:53,811 Yes. 9 00:04:54,623 --> 00:04:55,612 Huey.... 10 00:04:56,058 --> 00:04:57,958 You sit in the sled. 11 00:05:00,830 --> 00:05:02,457 Santa, Sparky... 12 00:05:02,631 --> 00:05:03,962 ...presents... 13 00:05:04,233 --> 00:05:05,325 ...reindeer... 14 00:05:05,467 --> 00:05:06,832 ...fake snow. 15 00:05:06,969 --> 00:05:08,596 -What are we missing? -Children. 16 00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:12,034 Let them out. 17 00:05:12,641 --> 00:05:13,699 Let them out. 18 00:05:19,081 --> 00:05:20,241 What do I do? 19 00:05:20,416 --> 00:05:22,247 You know what to do. 20 00:05:22,484 --> 00:05:25,749 When they handed out the parts, you got the heart. 21 00:05:25,921 --> 00:05:27,752 Right. I got the heart. 22 00:05:28,424 --> 00:05:30,654 You mean you got the brains? 23 00:05:31,260 --> 00:05:34,593 I mean between the two of us, you got the heart. 24 00:05:34,763 --> 00:05:37,596 Together we make a person. 25 00:05:53,282 --> 00:05:55,273 What is this, Craddock, a joke? 26 00:05:55,885 --> 00:05:58,115 -Who was in charge here? -Me. 27 00:05:58,287 --> 00:06:01,279 -I was. -Right. This was Quinlan's baby. 28 00:06:01,457 --> 00:06:02,515 Quinlan.... 29 00:06:02,892 --> 00:06:04,325 Let me ask you a question. 30 00:06:05,194 --> 00:06:09,460 You was a big-shot investigative reporter for the Chicago Tribune. 31 00:06:09,632 --> 00:06:11,293 Won some prizes. 32 00:06:14,103 --> 00:06:15,468 Give him a biscuit. 33 00:06:15,638 --> 00:06:17,902 What do these look like to you? 34 00:06:18,974 --> 00:06:21,408 They're Indians dressed up as Eskimos. 35 00:06:21,543 --> 00:06:24,034 Indians, Eskimos, what's the difference? 36 00:06:24,213 --> 00:06:25,976 -That's what we thought. -Shut up. 37 00:06:26,148 --> 00:06:27,308 That's cool. 38 00:06:27,483 --> 00:06:30,043 Do you know the only prize I ever got? 39 00:06:30,219 --> 00:06:31,811 It's there, on the walls. 40 00:06:31,987 --> 00:06:35,320 I got four and a half million people who buy... 41 00:06:35,724 --> 00:06:38,056 ...the National Mirror every week. 42 00:06:38,227 --> 00:06:39,922 Do you know how many... 43 00:06:40,062 --> 00:06:41,791 ...of those 4.5 million readers... 44 00:06:41,997 --> 00:06:44,659 ...are Indians or Eskimos or Eskimo-Indians? 45 00:06:44,833 --> 00:06:47,495 -I told him. American children. -Americans... 46 00:06:47,670 --> 00:06:49,934 ...want to see pictures of Americans. 47 00:06:50,072 --> 00:06:52,370 -They are Americans. -Americans. 48 00:06:52,942 --> 00:06:55,740 -Is that too much to ask for Christmas? -No, sir... 49 00:06:55,945 --> 00:06:58,243 ...and I'll get someone right on it. 50 00:07:00,015 --> 00:07:02,176 My little poochie, look at you. 51 00:07:04,753 --> 00:07:06,846 If you don't teach that dog... 52 00:07:07,022 --> 00:07:10,458 ...some manners soon, somebody else will have to. 53 00:07:11,827 --> 00:07:14,193 How long were you Elizabeth Taylor's pool man? 54 00:07:14,363 --> 00:07:17,025 Reincarnation, Miss Hucklow speaking. 55 00:07:17,199 --> 00:07:20,362 Were you on the bed when it levitated? 56 00:07:21,036 --> 00:07:22,765 He lives in your refrigerator? 57 00:07:25,708 --> 00:07:30,475 Can I put you on hold for a second? I'll go to my desk and take this call. 58 00:07:30,612 --> 00:07:33,274 No, don't let him out. Okay, hold on. 59 00:07:53,402 --> 00:07:55,393 Here's something interesting. 60 00:08:04,747 --> 00:08:07,910 Malt sent you for the tree this year. I forgot. 61 00:08:08,083 --> 00:08:09,607 I found it in Montana. 62 00:08:09,818 --> 00:08:14,016 As soon as I see it, I know it's too big to fit on the truck... 63 00:08:14,423 --> 00:08:19,087 ...but then I think, what if someone sees it while I try to find one... 64 00:08:19,261 --> 00:08:21,024 ...that'll fit on the truck? 65 00:08:21,330 --> 00:08:23,321 Then Malt gets... 66 00:08:23,665 --> 00:08:27,533 ...the second biggest Christmas tree in the U.S. and I'm screwed. 67 00:08:27,669 --> 00:08:29,830 Yeah, well, that's good thinking. 68 00:08:30,039 --> 00:08:32,030 -So I cut the top off. -You did that? 69 00:08:32,174 --> 00:08:34,665 I didn't know it'd be a major problem... 70 00:08:34,843 --> 00:08:37,607 ...to put the top part of a tree back on the bottom. 71 00:08:37,780 --> 00:08:40,544 He will never fire you. Look at the walls. 72 00:08:41,617 --> 00:08:43,608 Look. Look at the walls. 73 00:08:43,786 --> 00:08:47,119 He's got millions of dollars tied up in that dog... 74 00:08:47,289 --> 00:08:49,621 ...and the dog belongs to you. 75 00:08:50,059 --> 00:08:52,459 Hold on to that dog, Huey. 76 00:08:59,635 --> 00:09:00,863 What?! 77 00:09:01,070 --> 00:09:02,128 Driscoll! 78 00:09:03,372 --> 00:09:05,499 Driscoll, come in here. 79 00:09:08,210 --> 00:09:10,303 We are going to get it, Sparky. 80 00:09:12,381 --> 00:09:15,578 "Dear Mr. Quinlan, I'm a great admirer... 81 00:09:15,717 --> 00:09:19,380 "...of your prose and can tell you have a sensitive nature. 82 00:09:19,588 --> 00:09:21,988 "I have had an angel... 83 00:09:22,157 --> 00:09:23,215 "...named... 84 00:09:23,392 --> 00:09:24,723 "...Michael... 85 00:09:26,095 --> 00:09:30,828 "...living with me for almost six months now. He's extremely polite. 86 00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:36,003 "I have enclosed a photograph to prove to you that I have not lost my wits. 87 00:09:37,739 --> 00:09:41,505 "I know that you and Sparky travel all over for your stories. 88 00:09:41,677 --> 00:09:44,271 "That one about the coconut with the wedding ring inside... 89 00:09:44,346 --> 00:09:46,610 "...was very, very nice. 90 00:09:47,182 --> 00:09:50,117 "And I think you should visit Iowa... 91 00:09:52,254 --> 00:09:53,915 "...and see us... 92 00:09:54,123 --> 00:09:55,351 "...for yourself. 93 00:09:56,024 --> 00:09:58,686 "Sincerely, Pansy Milbank." 94 00:10:04,766 --> 00:10:06,757 Did your mother drop you? 95 00:10:07,202 --> 00:10:10,194 What was going on in that pea brain... 96 00:10:10,539 --> 00:10:15,135 ...that let you take this superb creation of the Lord Almighty... 97 00:10:15,277 --> 00:10:17,370 ...and chop it in half? 98 00:10:17,546 --> 00:10:21,038 Whatever I pay you, it's too much. How much does Fred make? 99 00:10:21,216 --> 00:10:24,879 The janitor? I cannot survive on a janitor's salary. 100 00:10:25,053 --> 00:10:26,953 -Help me? -Kill the dog. 101 00:10:27,156 --> 00:10:28,555 Were you invited? 102 00:10:28,724 --> 00:10:31,056 -Let him go on the highway. -Wait a minute. 103 00:10:31,226 --> 00:10:32,955 What kind of person are you? 104 00:10:33,162 --> 00:10:34,254 Who is this? 105 00:10:34,463 --> 00:10:36,454 Dorothy Winters. She works here. 106 00:10:36,665 --> 00:10:38,360 I do? I got the job? 107 00:10:39,401 --> 00:10:44,168 -You won't regret this, Mr. Malt. -Do you know what that is? 108 00:10:45,174 --> 00:10:46,232 That... 109 00:10:46,408 --> 00:10:48,740 ...is an angel. 110 00:10:49,478 --> 00:10:51,469 That is a genuine angel. 111 00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:52,908 Huey... 112 00:10:53,081 --> 00:10:54,412 ...discovered it. 113 00:10:54,783 --> 00:10:57,047 -Is it for real? -Absolutely. 114 00:10:58,687 --> 00:11:00,678 You'll get me this angel? 115 00:11:00,822 --> 00:11:02,813 That's exactly what we'll do. 116 00:11:04,593 --> 00:11:07,323 We'll put it on the front page, bold. 117 00:11:07,763 --> 00:11:10,698 -Some white fluffy clouds. -There you go. 118 00:11:11,099 --> 00:11:13,590 -A drift of sky. -You got it. 119 00:11:13,769 --> 00:11:15,930 And some musical notes. 120 00:11:17,206 --> 00:11:18,503 -Poetry. -Don't play... 121 00:11:18,707 --> 00:11:19,765 ...with me, Quinlan. 122 00:11:19,942 --> 00:11:21,273 You really are... 123 00:11:21,443 --> 00:11:24,344 ...going to go fetch me this angel for Christmas... 124 00:11:24,580 --> 00:11:25,604 ...or... 125 00:11:26,215 --> 00:11:27,978 ...I fire the two of you... 126 00:11:28,283 --> 00:11:30,217 ...and I keep the dog. 127 00:11:31,353 --> 00:11:32,342 Deal. 128 00:11:32,521 --> 00:11:34,785 Need a conference with my colleague. 129 00:11:34,957 --> 00:11:39,018 You cannot live on Fred's salary. You cannot. That's a deal. 130 00:11:39,228 --> 00:11:42,026 Don't you worry about a thing, Mr. Malt. 131 00:11:42,231 --> 00:11:44,290 -We'll leave tomorrow. -Right. 132 00:11:44,466 --> 00:11:45,797 We're taking... 133 00:11:45,968 --> 00:11:47,299 ...Sparky with us. 134 00:11:47,469 --> 00:11:48,868 And Miss Winters. 135 00:11:49,037 --> 00:11:50,095 They are? 136 00:11:50,305 --> 00:11:52,296 -Why are we taking her? -She's an expert. 137 00:11:52,474 --> 00:11:53,372 In what? 138 00:11:53,542 --> 00:11:54,531 Angels. 139 00:11:55,444 --> 00:11:58,242 Miss Winters is an expert in angels. 140 00:12:00,983 --> 00:12:03,144 I have something to tell you. 141 00:12:03,885 --> 00:12:08,322 I won't take care of you anymore. Your parents will find someone else.... 142 00:12:09,558 --> 00:12:10,889 Don't look at me like that. 143 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:13,455 I have this wonderful new job. 144 00:12:13,829 --> 00:12:18,323 The only problem is, I must pretend to be an angel expert for a few days. 145 00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:20,367 It'll be fine. 146 00:12:20,535 --> 00:12:21,900 I'll be fine. 147 00:12:22,771 --> 00:12:24,568 And so will you. 148 00:12:25,340 --> 00:12:26,773 Good dogs. 149 00:13:22,731 --> 00:13:25,564 -You've had an encounter with an angel? -No. 150 00:13:25,734 --> 00:13:26,826 Yes. 151 00:13:26,968 --> 00:13:27,900 Maybe. 152 00:13:28,070 --> 00:13:30,038 -Have you ever met an angel? -Once. 153 00:13:30,339 --> 00:13:33,900 I got a flat tire on a deserted country road. 154 00:13:34,076 --> 00:13:36,909 There was no food, no water, it was 108 degrees... 155 00:13:37,079 --> 00:13:41,345 ...and a man in a white robe suddenly appeared on the horizon... 156 00:13:41,483 --> 00:13:43,781 ...with a spare and a jack. 157 00:13:43,985 --> 00:13:44,952 Kidding. 158 00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:46,409 I am. 159 00:13:46,588 --> 00:13:48,146 Bradley used to tease. 160 00:13:48,357 --> 00:13:49,847 Who's Bradley? 161 00:13:49,991 --> 00:13:51,583 My ex-husband. 162 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:53,752 Better watch it, Quinlan. 163 00:13:55,263 --> 00:13:56,753 We should start over. 164 00:13:56,932 --> 00:14:00,891 When something's going wrong, it's best to start over. I'll go first. 165 00:14:02,003 --> 00:14:04,164 -Where did you get Sparky? -Oh, no. 166 00:14:04,373 --> 00:14:06,773 He came up to Huey in a parking lot. 167 00:14:06,942 --> 00:14:09,502 Huey was eating a doughnut, and was trying to kick him away... 168 00:14:10,612 --> 00:14:12,239 You were trying to kick the dog? 169 00:14:14,950 --> 00:14:19,319 I wasn't trying to kick him. I was trying to shoo him away very gently. 170 00:14:19,621 --> 00:14:20,610 ...when... 171 00:14:20,789 --> 00:14:24,088 ...Malt comes out, sees the dog and stops dead. 172 00:14:24,292 --> 00:14:27,489 Seems Malt was once a child who'd had a dog just like... 173 00:14:27,662 --> 00:14:28,754 ...Sparky. 174 00:14:29,030 --> 00:14:30,793 That's so sweet. 175 00:14:31,967 --> 00:14:32,956 Anyway... 176 00:14:33,135 --> 00:14:34,966 ...Malt's eyes get all teary... 177 00:14:35,137 --> 00:14:38,595 ...and he pours out this story, about his dog Sparky... 178 00:14:38,807 --> 00:14:42,004 ...which ended up underneath a tractor tire. 179 00:14:43,545 --> 00:14:45,410 You know what Huey did? 180 00:14:45,547 --> 00:14:48,710 Huey turns to Malt and says, "Mr. Malt, that's amazing! 181 00:14:48,917 --> 00:14:51,317 "This dog's named Sparky too." 182 00:14:54,723 --> 00:14:57,055 In no time at all, the dog is famous. 183 00:14:57,225 --> 00:15:00,353 Has his own column, saved Huey's neck 100 times. 184 00:15:01,563 --> 00:15:04,430 Milk Bottle Motel. Here. Milk Bottle Motel. 185 00:16:20,141 --> 00:16:22,405 Looks like your angel checked out. 186 00:16:27,315 --> 00:16:28,907 Somebody's here. 187 00:16:43,031 --> 00:16:44,589 Mrs. Milbank? 188 00:16:48,270 --> 00:16:51,433 I'm Frank Quinlan from the National Mirror. 189 00:16:52,541 --> 00:16:54,338 About your letter? 190 00:16:56,444 --> 00:16:59,607 This is my associate, Mr. Hugh Driscoll. 191 00:16:59,781 --> 00:17:00,839 How are you? 192 00:17:01,049 --> 00:17:04,951 And this is Dorothy Winters, who is an expert in... 193 00:17:05,353 --> 00:17:06,479 ...various things. 194 00:17:07,923 --> 00:17:09,254 And this is... 195 00:17:09,457 --> 00:17:10,424 ...Sparky. 196 00:17:16,064 --> 00:17:20,467 You're just as handsome as in the pictures. 197 00:17:21,870 --> 00:17:23,303 I think he's cold. 198 00:17:23,471 --> 00:17:27,134 -I wouldn't know why not. -We better get him inside. 199 00:17:33,348 --> 00:17:36,283 Sparky, here you are. 200 00:17:38,954 --> 00:17:41,354 What's that wonderful smell? 201 00:17:41,957 --> 00:17:43,618 You must be baking. 202 00:17:49,364 --> 00:17:52,026 Well, it was nice of you to come. 203 00:18:16,825 --> 00:18:17,723 Don't... 204 00:18:17,892 --> 00:18:19,325 ...shake me, Mr. Quinlan. 205 00:18:20,061 --> 00:18:22,427 I'm contemplating my death. 206 00:18:22,998 --> 00:18:24,863 Are you with the angel? 207 00:18:30,171 --> 00:18:32,332 Do you see an angel? 208 00:18:33,742 --> 00:18:35,334 I don't think I do. 209 00:18:35,510 --> 00:18:37,910 Then how could I be with him? 210 00:18:38,446 --> 00:18:42,246 Well, we don't know exactly how it works with angels. 211 00:18:42,417 --> 00:18:43,850 How it works? 212 00:18:45,420 --> 00:18:48,150 If he's in the room then you're with him. 213 00:18:48,690 --> 00:18:50,521 If he's somewhere else... 214 00:18:50,692 --> 00:18:52,023 ...then you're not. 215 00:18:52,193 --> 00:18:54,684 And that's why we can't see him now? 216 00:18:54,863 --> 00:18:56,057 He's not here. 217 00:18:57,032 --> 00:18:59,159 Are you impaired in some way... 218 00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:01,359 ...that I haven't noticed, Miss? 219 00:19:02,037 --> 00:19:03,095 Ms. Winters... 220 00:19:03,271 --> 00:19:07,435 ...has probably never heard of an angel living in a motel. 221 00:19:08,943 --> 00:19:10,808 You think I'm full of shit. 222 00:19:11,112 --> 00:19:13,444 No, no. Nothing like that. 223 00:19:13,615 --> 00:19:17,779 I don't judge these things. I don't decide what's real or not. 224 00:19:17,952 --> 00:19:22,719 -I've seen too many things myself. -We heard of a werewolf in S. Jersey. 225 00:19:22,891 --> 00:19:25,985 -We went there. -To locate the werewolf. 226 00:19:26,394 --> 00:19:28,419 In that particular case... 227 00:19:28,797 --> 00:19:33,734 ...that person was convinced that the werewolf was in the room with us. 228 00:19:33,902 --> 00:19:36,962 They could see it, although Mr. Quinlan and myself.... 229 00:19:37,138 --> 00:19:40,403 We couldn't, but that doesn't mean it wasn't there. 230 00:19:40,742 --> 00:19:42,141 Michael? 231 00:19:44,579 --> 00:19:46,809 Are you coming down, dear? 232 00:19:46,981 --> 00:19:47,970 Yeah. 233 00:19:48,983 --> 00:19:50,007 Be right down. 234 00:19:50,819 --> 00:19:53,310 Just got to find my smokes. 235 00:19:54,089 --> 00:19:57,252 They're beside the bed, next to my cortisone. 236 00:19:57,592 --> 00:19:59,526 Did you find them? 237 00:19:59,828 --> 00:20:02,194 He'll be down directly. 238 00:20:03,865 --> 00:20:06,163 That smell is so familiar. 239 00:20:06,501 --> 00:20:08,594 It's like something from childhood. 240 00:20:20,381 --> 00:20:22,110 Oh, God. 241 00:20:48,710 --> 00:20:52,976 Michael, look who's come to visit us! It's Sparky. 242 00:21:07,328 --> 00:21:08,556 How do you do? 243 00:21:27,382 --> 00:21:29,942 You'll have to excuse Michael. 244 00:21:30,351 --> 00:21:32,819 He's not good at suffering fools... 245 00:21:33,021 --> 00:21:35,581 ...but he'll be better in the morning. 246 00:22:05,954 --> 00:22:08,115 Where is the thermostat in here? 247 00:22:08,289 --> 00:22:10,382 Are we talking about an angel here? 248 00:22:10,558 --> 00:22:13,220 -We can't be talking about an angel. -There is no such.... 249 00:22:13,461 --> 00:22:15,395 ...thing as an angel. 250 00:22:15,563 --> 00:22:16,894 That is definitely... 251 00:22:17,065 --> 00:22:21,126 ...the weirdest thing I have ever seen. It's like some great big bird... 252 00:22:21,302 --> 00:22:24,794 -...made love to that guy's mother. -And we reap the benefits. 253 00:22:24,973 --> 00:22:27,305 I'm set for life. I could even get a raise. 254 00:22:27,408 --> 00:22:29,740 I thank you. Thank you, Jesus. 255 00:22:29,911 --> 00:22:32,311 Thank you, Jesus. I thank you, Jesus. 256 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,311 I thank you, Jesus. 257 00:22:42,824 --> 00:22:44,985 -What? -That is not an angel. 258 00:22:45,159 --> 00:22:47,753 -It is too. -It is not. 259 00:22:50,265 --> 00:22:51,994 I will handle this. 260 00:22:54,168 --> 00:22:56,102 Where has he been? 261 00:22:56,271 --> 00:22:59,331 -Meaning what? -Meaning if he were a man with wings... 262 00:22:59,507 --> 00:23:02,670 ...which is the alternative, we'd have heard about him. 263 00:23:02,844 --> 00:23:07,178 You don't show up at his age with wings. There'd be a story in the papers. 264 00:23:07,348 --> 00:23:11,114 -In the National Mirror. -Exactly. "Baby born with wings." 265 00:23:11,286 --> 00:23:12,844 "Bird-man of Iowa." 266 00:23:13,021 --> 00:23:17,287 It's not angel vs. man with wings. There are other possibilities. 267 00:23:17,458 --> 00:23:18,948 Like what? 268 00:23:19,127 --> 00:23:21,789 It's fairly obvious, isn't it? 269 00:23:22,530 --> 00:23:26,864 He's a younger man. She's an older woman. He's after her money. 270 00:23:27,035 --> 00:23:29,469 A gigolo with wings. 271 00:23:29,637 --> 00:23:30,501 A gigolo. 272 00:23:30,672 --> 00:23:34,802 What money is he after? The Milk Bottle Motel fortune? 273 00:23:34,976 --> 00:23:38,969 You don't have to have money for someone to try to take it. 274 00:23:39,547 --> 00:23:41,708 Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord. 275 00:23:41,883 --> 00:23:43,578 Is it so hard to imagine... 276 00:23:43,818 --> 00:23:47,049 ...that a man would be after a woman's money? 277 00:23:47,322 --> 00:23:50,382 Is this Brightly? Or Brinkley? What's his name? 278 00:23:50,558 --> 00:23:52,549 -Bradley. -Is this him we're talking about? 279 00:23:52,727 --> 00:23:55,059 -Actually, no. It's Miles. -Who's Miles? 280 00:23:55,229 --> 00:23:56,992 My second husband. 281 00:23:58,166 --> 00:24:00,498 Miles was wild. It lasted a week. 282 00:24:00,668 --> 00:24:01,828 You left him? 283 00:24:02,003 --> 00:24:04,665 No, he left me, in my Camaro. 284 00:24:07,408 --> 00:24:08,397 I see. 285 00:24:08,576 --> 00:24:13,070 I'll bet he racked up $5,000 on your Visa bill too, didn't he? Didn't he? 286 00:24:13,247 --> 00:24:15,511 You just know everything, don't you? 287 00:24:17,418 --> 00:24:19,181 Angels don't smoke. 288 00:24:20,855 --> 00:24:22,254 I'm going to sleep. 289 00:24:22,423 --> 00:24:23,685 Good night. 290 00:24:27,595 --> 00:24:29,586 Don't let the bedbugs bite. 291 00:24:29,764 --> 00:24:31,857 That is a horrible expression. 292 00:24:32,867 --> 00:24:34,357 It is not... 293 00:24:34,535 --> 00:24:36,696 ...an expression. 294 00:25:10,605 --> 00:25:12,072 That's good. 295 00:25:14,075 --> 00:25:15,633 He's so hungry. 296 00:25:17,311 --> 00:25:18,403 Oh, boy. 297 00:25:24,318 --> 00:25:25,808 Good boy. 298 00:25:26,754 --> 00:25:29,154 What a sweet doggie. 299 00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:35,194 How would you like your eggs, Mr. Quinlan? 300 00:25:35,596 --> 00:25:37,427 Sparky's look good. 301 00:25:37,598 --> 00:25:39,327 Over easy! 302 00:25:54,615 --> 00:25:57,448 Last night we were discussing your wings. 303 00:25:57,618 --> 00:25:59,882 Would you mind if I took a closer look? 304 00:26:01,122 --> 00:26:05,616 Let them look at your wings, Michael. They're from the National Mirror. 305 00:26:05,793 --> 00:26:06,851 Thank you. 306 00:26:09,197 --> 00:26:11,131 -Not bad. -Compared to what? 307 00:26:11,299 --> 00:26:14,530 -I've seen birds. -Would you mind if I touched? 308 00:26:16,204 --> 00:26:17,694 I'd rather you didn't. 309 00:26:20,141 --> 00:26:24,544 We'd like to take a look to see how you have these things attached. 310 00:26:24,712 --> 00:26:27,545 Pull on your pecker and see how that's attached. 311 00:26:27,715 --> 00:26:30,047 Watch your language, mister. 312 00:26:30,218 --> 00:26:32,982 Pecker. An angel that says pecker. 313 00:26:33,154 --> 00:26:34,382 Language... 314 00:26:34,555 --> 00:26:35,817 ...gentlemen. 315 00:26:36,557 --> 00:26:38,491 How would you like your eggs? 316 00:26:38,659 --> 00:26:41,651 What's in the oven? The smell is so delicious. 317 00:26:41,829 --> 00:26:44,491 We are serving eggs this morning and that's that. 318 00:26:44,665 --> 00:26:47,225 Over easy would be just fine. 319 00:26:47,401 --> 00:26:49,062 Over easy! 320 00:26:50,738 --> 00:26:52,262 I thought angels were... 321 00:26:53,074 --> 00:26:54,234 ...cleaner. 322 00:26:55,009 --> 00:26:57,739 She doesn't mean to offend. It's.... 323 00:26:58,079 --> 00:27:02,072 Miss Winters is an angel expert and she gets kind of... 324 00:27:02,250 --> 00:27:05,276 ...literal. What she probably wants to know is... 325 00:27:07,255 --> 00:27:09,018 -...can you fly? -I don't... 326 00:27:09,190 --> 00:27:13,286 ...want to know if he can fly. He can't. Only little angels-- 327 00:27:13,528 --> 00:27:14,859 Says who? 328 00:27:15,029 --> 00:27:16,519 I just thought.... 329 00:27:16,898 --> 00:27:19,025 Halos? Inner light? 330 00:27:20,535 --> 00:27:22,867 I'm not that kind of angel. 331 00:27:23,037 --> 00:27:26,871 -What kind of angel are you? -Michael is an archangel. 332 00:27:27,041 --> 00:27:30,943 He battled Lucifer and threw him out of Heaven. 333 00:27:31,445 --> 00:27:33,208 Revelation Twelve, verse seven. 334 00:27:33,381 --> 00:27:34,939 That was a long time ago. 335 00:27:35,116 --> 00:27:38,210 He smote a bank for me. 336 00:27:38,819 --> 00:27:41,379 -A bank? -I knew it. Money was involved, right? 337 00:27:41,956 --> 00:27:44,390 I should say so. 338 00:27:44,559 --> 00:27:46,459 -After Elmer died.... -Who's Elmer? 339 00:27:46,727 --> 00:27:48,786 My husband. After he died... 340 00:27:48,963 --> 00:27:52,990 ...they built the highway and stole all my truckers. 341 00:27:53,467 --> 00:27:55,059 And then the bank... 342 00:27:55,236 --> 00:27:56,294 ...came to... 343 00:27:56,470 --> 00:27:58,563 ...take the Milk Bottle... 344 00:27:58,739 --> 00:28:00,798 ...and I prayed for help... 345 00:28:02,076 --> 00:28:04,636 ...until God sent me Michael. 346 00:28:04,812 --> 00:28:06,575 She was persistent. 347 00:28:06,747 --> 00:28:07,805 You came... 348 00:28:07,982 --> 00:28:10,143 ...down and smote the bank? 349 00:28:10,318 --> 00:28:13,082 A branch. First Iowa Bank of Commerce. 350 00:28:13,254 --> 00:28:16,951 It was lovely. He walked into the manager's office and said.... 351 00:28:17,425 --> 00:28:19,825 -What was that you said? -Money changer! 352 00:28:19,994 --> 00:28:22,087 "Money changer... 353 00:28:22,263 --> 00:28:26,825 "...I shall turneth this earthly den into a parking lot." 354 00:28:27,602 --> 00:28:29,593 Did I say that? I didn't say that. 355 00:28:29,770 --> 00:28:33,501 They didn't believe us, so Michael flattened it. 356 00:28:33,674 --> 00:28:35,005 -You did that? -Had to. 357 00:28:35,176 --> 00:28:37,610 Into a parking lot? 358 00:28:37,845 --> 00:28:40,609 Well, they said it was a tornado. 359 00:28:42,016 --> 00:28:46,783 This town doesn't really need a parking lot, but it's more... 360 00:28:46,954 --> 00:28:48,785 ...cosmopolitan. 361 00:28:49,957 --> 00:28:51,356 And what about the money? 362 00:28:51,525 --> 00:28:54,187 We never heard another word about it. Did we? 363 00:28:54,362 --> 00:28:55,454 Nope. 364 00:28:56,130 --> 00:28:57,290 You look like... 365 00:28:57,465 --> 00:28:59,956 ...you must eat a robust breakfast. 366 00:29:00,134 --> 00:29:02,193 How would you like your eggs? 367 00:29:05,473 --> 00:29:06,804 Poached? 368 00:29:08,309 --> 00:29:10,300 That's.... Poached is fine. 369 00:29:10,478 --> 00:29:12,139 Poached. 370 00:29:31,399 --> 00:29:34,391 "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. 371 00:29:34,568 --> 00:29:37,401 "He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. 372 00:29:37,571 --> 00:29:40,165 "He leadeth me beside the still waters...." 373 00:29:40,841 --> 00:29:44,242 Look, she's happier where she is, right? 374 00:29:45,579 --> 00:29:46,739 Heaven? 375 00:29:48,249 --> 00:29:50,012 She's happier up there? 376 00:29:50,251 --> 00:29:52,412 It isn't my area. 377 00:29:59,593 --> 00:30:01,754 You hardly knew her. 378 00:30:01,929 --> 00:30:04,591 She died cooking us breakfast. 379 00:30:07,535 --> 00:30:09,526 She died making breakfast. 380 00:30:16,610 --> 00:30:20,102 What is it that you keep writing in that book? 381 00:30:20,548 --> 00:30:21,879 Lyrics. 382 00:30:22,883 --> 00:30:24,111 To what? 383 00:30:24,385 --> 00:30:26,376 I write Country Western songs. 384 00:30:26,554 --> 00:30:28,283 It's my hobby. 385 00:30:29,623 --> 00:30:31,113 "Earth to earth... 386 00:30:31,459 --> 00:30:33,290 "...ashes to ashes... 387 00:30:34,395 --> 00:30:36,124 "...and dust to dust. 388 00:30:37,131 --> 00:30:38,792 "The Lord bless and keep you... 389 00:30:38,966 --> 00:30:40,490 "...and give you peace." 390 00:30:40,668 --> 00:30:43,637 Justine? It's Quinlan. Put me straight through. 391 00:30:43,804 --> 00:30:45,237 What you got? 392 00:30:45,573 --> 00:30:46,972 Wings. 393 00:30:47,141 --> 00:30:48,574 Real wings. 394 00:30:48,743 --> 00:30:50,301 Don't play with me, Quinlan. 395 00:30:50,478 --> 00:30:53,413 This guy is about six feet tall. 396 00:30:53,581 --> 00:30:57,574 He has wings from his shoulders to his knees. But he's filthy. 397 00:30:57,752 --> 00:31:00,653 We'll have to clean him and put him in a white robe. 398 00:31:00,821 --> 00:31:05,588 Get Craddock to dig up those sandals with the straps that go up your legs. 399 00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:07,318 Too bad he's not blond. 400 00:31:07,495 --> 00:31:09,326 Angels are supposed to be blond. 401 00:31:09,497 --> 00:31:12,591 But "Oprah," Barbara, "The Today Show..." 402 00:31:12,767 --> 00:31:14,598 "...Hard Copy," book the works. 403 00:31:14,769 --> 00:31:16,430 Don't mess this one up. 404 00:31:16,604 --> 00:31:19,767 I want that guy on the first plane to Chicago. 405 00:31:19,940 --> 00:31:21,805 Or does the bird-man fly himself? 406 00:31:22,176 --> 00:31:25,612 I don't know if he actually uses the wings, but God... 407 00:31:25,780 --> 00:31:27,145 ...wouldn't that be a draw? 408 00:31:27,782 --> 00:31:30,273 Don't worry. He's in safe hands. 409 00:31:30,451 --> 00:31:32,180 And I'm the Queen of England. 410 00:31:32,353 --> 00:31:34,446 Don't fret, Malt. 411 00:31:37,024 --> 00:31:38,616 He's in safe hands. 412 00:31:38,793 --> 00:31:41,523 In view of this, should we call the girl off? 413 00:31:41,695 --> 00:31:44,186 No, no, leave her where she is. 414 00:31:44,365 --> 00:31:46,856 I'm in a no-lose situation. 415 00:31:57,244 --> 00:31:58,438 Hey, Mike. 416 00:31:58,579 --> 00:31:59,944 Michael. 417 00:32:04,452 --> 00:32:06,079 Have you... 418 00:32:06,454 --> 00:32:09,446 ...ever seen the world's biggest ball of twine? 419 00:32:10,090 --> 00:32:11,182 No. 420 00:32:11,859 --> 00:32:12,951 We must go-- 421 00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:17,057 I saw the world's biggest cannonball. Mesopotamia. 422 00:32:17,531 --> 00:32:21,262 -I wonder if it's still there. -Mesopotamia isn't still there. 423 00:32:21,469 --> 00:32:23,334 -Nothing lasts. -Listen.... 424 00:32:24,271 --> 00:32:26,364 I have to ask a favor. 425 00:32:26,974 --> 00:32:30,967 Huey and l, we're on a little bit of a losing streak. 426 00:32:31,111 --> 00:32:32,373 Quit. 427 00:32:32,980 --> 00:32:37,041 We can't. He's got a mortgage. Three kids in a soccer camp. 428 00:32:37,218 --> 00:32:38,378 A wife. 429 00:32:38,552 --> 00:32:39,883 God knows he loves her... 430 00:32:40,054 --> 00:32:42,989 ...but she's burning a hole in his pocket, and l.... 431 00:32:44,992 --> 00:32:45,890 Well.... 432 00:32:46,060 --> 00:32:48,790 Love to fight. Like me. We'll drive. 433 00:32:49,296 --> 00:32:50,228 Where? 434 00:32:50,397 --> 00:32:52,627 Chicago. Isn't that where you want to go? 435 00:32:53,734 --> 00:32:55,793 I know. That's why I wrote you. 436 00:32:56,003 --> 00:32:57,129 You wrote? 437 00:32:57,304 --> 00:32:58,794 Yeah. My idea. 438 00:33:00,508 --> 00:33:02,305 Why are we driving? 439 00:33:02,910 --> 00:33:07,813 I mean, why don't we fly? All of us together in a plane. 440 00:33:08,816 --> 00:33:12,013 It's safer. Much safer. Nobody believes it... 441 00:33:12,253 --> 00:33:14,517 ...but statistically it's true... 442 00:33:15,022 --> 00:33:16,819 -...and the paper'll pay. -Nope. 443 00:33:17,024 --> 00:33:19,254 -We need time. -Time for what? 444 00:33:19,426 --> 00:33:20,415 Smokes. 445 00:33:20,594 --> 00:33:22,755 Smokes. Besides... 446 00:33:22,930 --> 00:33:26,525 ...I'll get to see the world's largest ball of twine. 447 00:33:27,268 --> 00:33:28,599 -It's on the way. -Great. 448 00:33:28,769 --> 00:33:31,101 -You'll owe me something. -Money? 449 00:33:31,272 --> 00:33:36,039 I can't quote a figure, but there'll be plenty of money, I promise you that... 450 00:33:36,176 --> 00:33:37,541 ...once the world sees... 451 00:33:37,678 --> 00:33:39,908 -...pictures of these babies. -No. 452 00:33:40,347 --> 00:33:43,908 -You'll owe me an apology. -An apology, for what? 453 00:33:44,184 --> 00:33:46,049 Sure, I apologize. Whatever. 454 00:33:46,186 --> 00:33:48,347 Not now. When I say so. 455 00:33:48,556 --> 00:33:49,853 And no pictures. 456 00:33:50,057 --> 00:33:52,548 No pictures? Are you kidding me? 457 00:33:52,693 --> 00:33:54,684 Not until we get to Chicago. 458 00:33:55,629 --> 00:33:56,687 Deal? 459 00:33:57,464 --> 00:33:58,556 Deal. 460 00:34:07,308 --> 00:34:09,071 I like your coat better. 461 00:34:09,209 --> 00:34:10,642 It's yours. 462 00:34:34,101 --> 00:34:37,229 The world's biggest ball of twine is two hours from here. 463 00:34:37,404 --> 00:34:40,100 I'd like to see it before the sun sets. 464 00:34:40,240 --> 00:34:44,176 -They'll exploit you. You must know. -I'm going. 465 00:34:44,345 --> 00:34:46,905 Well I'm not. For your sake. 466 00:34:47,114 --> 00:34:50,641 You are or I'll have to tell them the truth about you. 467 00:34:50,851 --> 00:34:51,840 What? 468 00:34:52,252 --> 00:34:53,844 I know why you're here... 469 00:34:54,021 --> 00:34:56,854 ...and it has nothing to do with angels. 470 00:34:57,024 --> 00:34:58,616 How do you know? 471 00:35:00,027 --> 00:35:01,756 I pay attention. 472 00:35:10,537 --> 00:35:11,435 Also... 473 00:35:11,639 --> 00:35:13,266 -...I'd like you to sing. -A song? 474 00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:14,372 Of course. 475 00:35:15,275 --> 00:35:16,537 Fine. 476 00:35:16,710 --> 00:35:18,143 I'll sing. 477 00:35:18,646 --> 00:35:19,943 Now? 478 00:35:20,547 --> 00:35:21,946 When I tell you to. 479 00:36:27,715 --> 00:36:29,012 In the national news: 480 00:36:29,216 --> 00:36:33,619 Hog futures are down 1/4 in Chicago and selling down 1/8 in Sioux City. 481 00:36:33,787 --> 00:36:35,220 Hog futures. 482 00:36:42,429 --> 00:36:44,420 Hog futures are down 1/4. 483 00:36:46,967 --> 00:36:49,026 -What's the opposite of white? -Black. 484 00:36:49,236 --> 00:36:50,965 Wrong. Yolk. 485 00:36:57,244 --> 00:36:59,144 Is that like an egg joke? 486 00:36:59,313 --> 00:37:02,874 When we stop to eat will you put your coat back on? 487 00:37:03,050 --> 00:37:05,041 -Why? -Your wings. 488 00:37:05,252 --> 00:37:06,810 People will see your wings. 489 00:37:06,987 --> 00:37:09,547 Are you afraid they'll think less of you? 490 00:37:12,159 --> 00:37:14,059 They won't know what to think. 491 00:37:14,261 --> 00:37:17,492 Many people aren't as sophisticated as me and Huey. 492 00:37:18,398 --> 00:37:21,561 We don't want any trouble. We want to get to Chicago. 493 00:37:22,536 --> 00:37:25,198 He's worried somebody might try to steal his story. 494 00:37:25,405 --> 00:37:27,498 -I'm not worried. -You're worried. 495 00:37:28,809 --> 00:37:30,401 Look what Pansy left us. 496 00:37:30,577 --> 00:37:32,306 Car Bingo. 497 00:37:32,846 --> 00:37:34,837 Dig the propaganda. 498 00:37:35,082 --> 00:37:39,576 "The miles will fly and your children won't cry if you play... 499 00:37:39,787 --> 00:37:41,084 "...Car Bingo." 500 00:37:41,288 --> 00:37:43,518 All right. Everybody gets one. 501 00:37:43,690 --> 00:37:45,021 Here. Hand them out. 502 00:37:45,192 --> 00:37:47,683 -What do we do? -Here are the pencils. 503 00:37:48,428 --> 00:37:51,226 Instead of writing a number you write what you see. 504 00:37:53,367 --> 00:37:54,857 Dog. One point for me. 505 00:37:55,035 --> 00:37:58,869 -Not fair! You played this before. -Not fair to me, I'm driving. 506 00:37:59,039 --> 00:38:00,802 Deal with it. Bird on a wire. 507 00:38:00,941 --> 00:38:02,533 -Picket fence. -Policeman. 508 00:38:02,709 --> 00:38:04,040 Where? 509 00:38:11,318 --> 00:38:12,717 That was good. 510 00:38:15,455 --> 00:38:16,945 You must learn to laugh. 511 00:38:17,124 --> 00:38:18,557 It's the way to true love. 512 00:38:47,321 --> 00:38:49,482 "The world's largest ball of twine... 513 00:38:49,656 --> 00:38:52,591 -"...has a circumference of 45 ft...." -What's the excuse? 514 00:38:52,759 --> 00:38:56,354 It'll take longer because we must stay off the highway. 515 00:38:56,496 --> 00:38:57,485 Fly. 516 00:38:57,664 --> 00:38:59,359 -He won't fly. -Why? 517 00:38:59,499 --> 00:39:02,866 He can't fit in coach. His wings take too much space. 518 00:39:03,036 --> 00:39:04,435 You'll pay first class? 519 00:39:04,605 --> 00:39:05,663 Drive. 520 00:39:05,839 --> 00:39:09,002 "...it was transported here. There's enough twine...." 521 00:39:17,184 --> 00:39:18,515 Battle. 522 00:39:24,758 --> 00:39:26,783 Don't worry. What can happen? 523 00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:28,518 Trust me. Nothing. 524 00:39:29,763 --> 00:39:31,628 Don't fret, Malt. 525 00:39:37,537 --> 00:39:40,131 What are you doing? 526 00:39:48,215 --> 00:39:49,648 Battle! 527 00:40:05,332 --> 00:40:06,822 You know what that is? 528 00:40:08,235 --> 00:40:09,566 Battle. 529 00:40:18,245 --> 00:40:19,678 Michael, don't. 530 00:40:48,542 --> 00:40:51,272 I am completely happy. 531 00:40:51,611 --> 00:40:54,603 Are you all right? Can you feel your legs. 532 00:40:57,384 --> 00:41:01,218 No injuries. Six thousand three hundred and sixty battles. 533 00:41:01,688 --> 00:41:02,916 Can you sit up? 534 00:41:03,123 --> 00:41:05,114 Of course I can sit up. 535 00:41:09,229 --> 00:41:10,628 Now, that... 536 00:41:10,797 --> 00:41:12,731 ...that is my nature. 537 00:41:13,900 --> 00:41:18,132 But I'm doomed to live in one place and crave the pleasures of another. 538 00:41:18,305 --> 00:41:20,637 But don't you feel sorry for me. 539 00:41:20,807 --> 00:41:22,297 Why would we? 540 00:41:22,509 --> 00:41:27,139 Because this is my last blast. 26. That's all we get. Thank you, Quinlan. 541 00:41:27,581 --> 00:41:28,639 For what? 542 00:41:28,815 --> 00:41:32,012 I think he's saying there's no sex in Heaven. 543 00:41:32,152 --> 00:41:37,021 It's not polite to talk about someone in the third person when the person's here. 544 00:41:37,157 --> 00:41:39,091 I know. I'm very sorry. Sparky! 545 00:41:39,259 --> 00:41:40,817 What do you mean... 546 00:41:42,029 --> 00:41:44,088 ...last blast? 547 00:41:44,431 --> 00:41:46,456 Only so many visits allowed. 548 00:41:49,669 --> 00:41:52,832 I'm going to miss everything so much. 549 00:42:05,285 --> 00:42:06,411 Why are you here? 550 00:42:07,521 --> 00:42:10,354 Why are you saying it has anything to do with me? 551 00:42:15,295 --> 00:42:19,322 The Sun had an argument with the North Wind. Who was smarter? Stronger? 552 00:42:19,499 --> 00:42:22,093 The North Wind pointed out a man walking down the street. 553 00:42:22,302 --> 00:42:24,793 "I can make that man take his coat off and you can't." 554 00:42:24,971 --> 00:42:28,463 "I'll take that bet," said the Sun. The North Wind blew and the more... 555 00:42:28,642 --> 00:42:31,805 ...that wind blew, the tighter that man held that coat around himself. 556 00:42:32,379 --> 00:42:33,710 And then the Sun... 557 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:35,472 ...came out and smiled... 558 00:42:35,649 --> 00:42:37,207 ...and it became warmer, and... 559 00:42:37,384 --> 00:42:39,147 ...the man took off his coat. 560 00:42:44,591 --> 00:42:47,583 What is that supposed to mean? 561 00:42:47,727 --> 00:42:52,096 -Did you make a bet about me? -I had to get back here somehow. 562 00:42:52,232 --> 00:42:54,393 Watch the wings there, buddy. 563 00:43:15,622 --> 00:43:17,522 That's not how you eat a lemon. 564 00:43:18,125 --> 00:43:19,820 How do you eat a lemon? 565 00:43:21,528 --> 00:43:22,893 You cut it in half... 566 00:43:24,431 --> 00:43:26,922 -...put salt on it. -That's how you eat a lemon. 567 00:43:27,134 --> 00:43:29,932 -That is how you eat a lemon. -What is this, a rule? 568 00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:35,530 Hey, you too. 569 00:43:40,147 --> 00:43:42,377 -Thank you. -Do you have pie? 570 00:43:46,219 --> 00:43:47,880 Do you have pie? 571 00:43:59,166 --> 00:44:00,531 I'm a writer too. 572 00:44:00,700 --> 00:44:02,565 Really. What did you write? 573 00:44:02,736 --> 00:44:04,169 Psalm eighty-five. 574 00:44:05,705 --> 00:44:08,401 It wasn't called Psalm 85 when I wrote it. 575 00:44:08,575 --> 00:44:11,373 I didn't know they'd be collected and numbered. 576 00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:23,185 That was around the time I invented standing in line. 577 00:44:23,323 --> 00:44:25,188 You invented standing in line? 578 00:44:25,325 --> 00:44:27,885 Before everybody milled around. It was a mess. 579 00:44:28,328 --> 00:44:30,990 So one day I said, "Why not make a line?" 580 00:44:31,198 --> 00:44:32,130 For what? 581 00:44:32,832 --> 00:44:34,197 To get in. 582 00:44:34,334 --> 00:44:37,326 -Ask him what you want to know. -What do I want to know? 583 00:44:37,504 --> 00:44:40,268 He wants to know why angels don't solve big problems. 584 00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:41,998 That is what I want to know. 585 00:44:42,209 --> 00:44:43,437 Why don't angels... 586 00:44:43,610 --> 00:44:45,009 ...solve big problems? 587 00:44:46,346 --> 00:44:49,110 You can't change the nature of the world. 588 00:44:49,282 --> 00:44:50,715 What can you do? 589 00:44:50,850 --> 00:44:52,977 Small miracles, only so many. 590 00:44:53,720 --> 00:44:55,847 Some angels aren't so smart. 591 00:44:56,022 --> 00:44:59,014 -They use them up in stupid ways. -Like the parking... 592 00:44:59,226 --> 00:45:00,284 ...space angel. 593 00:45:01,261 --> 00:45:03,252 I don't like to criticize other angels. 594 00:45:07,133 --> 00:45:09,101 I'll be with you in a minute. 595 00:45:13,306 --> 00:45:15,866 This is how you eat a lemon. 596 00:45:19,846 --> 00:45:20,972 Excuse me. 597 00:45:21,248 --> 00:45:22,340 They want me. 598 00:45:23,483 --> 00:45:26,247 -Remember what John and Paul said. -The Apostles? 599 00:45:26,386 --> 00:45:27,717 No, the Beatles. 600 00:45:27,887 --> 00:45:29,650 "All you need is love." 601 00:45:30,490 --> 00:45:32,390 Hello there, ladies. 602 00:45:40,066 --> 00:45:41,499 Do you believe in angels? 603 00:45:41,668 --> 00:45:42,760 Absolutely. 604 00:45:42,902 --> 00:45:45,894 Have you ever heard of an angel that was interested in sex? 605 00:45:46,072 --> 00:45:47,164 Of course not. 606 00:45:47,340 --> 00:45:49,069 Angels do not have sex. 607 00:45:49,276 --> 00:45:50,903 -But is there one? -I suppose... 608 00:45:51,077 --> 00:45:53,170 ...he invented standing in line. 609 00:45:55,015 --> 00:45:57,074 I'm going to take you for a walk. 610 00:45:58,885 --> 00:45:59,874 Let's go. 611 00:46:12,532 --> 00:46:14,363 Suzanne, what's going on? 612 00:47:45,191 --> 00:47:46,488 Follow me, ladies. 613 00:47:47,460 --> 00:47:48,791 Follow me. 614 00:48:11,618 --> 00:48:14,178 I invented the hole in the coffee cup. 615 00:48:14,921 --> 00:48:16,912 When you get coffee to go. 616 00:48:17,991 --> 00:48:21,722 I was the first person to rip the little hole in the lid... 617 00:48:21,928 --> 00:48:23,555 ...so you could drink it in the car. 618 00:48:23,830 --> 00:48:26,230 -Could've made a fortune. -It's weird. 619 00:48:26,433 --> 00:48:29,163 -What? -She's an angel expert, but-- 620 00:48:29,335 --> 00:48:30,427 What? 621 00:48:33,072 --> 00:48:34,437 Battle. 622 00:48:43,450 --> 00:48:44,883 For God's sake, Michael... 623 00:48:45,084 --> 00:48:46,176 ...stop. 624 00:49:03,970 --> 00:49:06,871 -Battle. -You better believe it. 625 00:49:35,101 --> 00:49:37,228 It's caramels. He smell like caramels. 626 00:49:37,403 --> 00:49:38,734 It's cotton candy. 627 00:49:38,905 --> 00:49:43,706 He smells like cookies. The smell gets stronger when he's in heat. 628 00:50:18,678 --> 00:50:20,669 You are a great fighter. 629 00:50:20,847 --> 00:50:22,041 Certainly am. 630 00:50:22,282 --> 00:50:23,442 I'm cold. 631 00:50:25,184 --> 00:50:26,947 You from the National Mirror? 632 00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:28,610 I got a 2-headed chicken... 633 00:50:28,788 --> 00:50:30,551 ...if you're interested. 634 00:50:30,690 --> 00:50:31,952 What are we held for? 635 00:50:32,358 --> 00:50:34,690 Destruction of property, assault... 636 00:50:34,861 --> 00:50:37,455 ...disturbing the peace. The Magistrate... 637 00:50:37,630 --> 00:50:39,188 ...will be here in the morning. 638 00:50:39,365 --> 00:50:41,629 -I had nothing to do with this. -'Night. 639 00:50:43,136 --> 00:50:45,297 We have a phone call coming to us. 640 00:51:01,087 --> 00:51:05,649 Ralph got thrown in jail, but at least he had the decency to keep me out of it. 641 00:51:05,825 --> 00:51:07,884 I don't want to spend the night here. 642 00:51:08,094 --> 00:51:09,322 I hate you. 643 00:51:09,495 --> 00:51:10,894 What? You hate me? 644 00:51:11,097 --> 00:51:12,655 -Not you. -You hate me? 645 00:51:12,832 --> 00:51:15,164 -Not you. -Process of elimination. 646 00:51:15,335 --> 00:51:16,666 Who's Ralph? 647 00:51:16,836 --> 00:51:18,497 Another... 648 00:51:18,671 --> 00:51:20,104 ...husband... 649 00:51:20,673 --> 00:51:22,004 ...has popped up. 650 00:51:22,175 --> 00:51:23,836 Maybe Sparky can get us out. 651 00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:29,739 Go in the drawer and get the key. 652 00:51:34,821 --> 00:51:36,550 Go in the drawer... 653 00:51:36,723 --> 00:51:38,714 ...and get the key. 654 00:51:41,060 --> 00:51:42,618 Dorothy can make him do it. 655 00:51:43,429 --> 00:51:46,626 Dorothy's good with dogs. I have noticed this. 656 00:51:46,766 --> 00:51:48,927 Dogs don't talk. 657 00:51:50,436 --> 00:51:51,698 They don't shave. 658 00:51:52,038 --> 00:51:54,768 They don't run off in your Camaro. 659 00:51:56,142 --> 00:51:59,942 When you want them to take a bath, you make an appointment. 660 00:52:00,146 --> 00:52:01,773 Sit. Stay. 661 00:52:01,948 --> 00:52:03,279 Roll over. 662 00:52:07,220 --> 00:52:08,380 Now. 663 00:52:10,790 --> 00:52:11,779 What? 664 00:52:11,958 --> 00:52:13,289 Apologize. 665 00:52:13,793 --> 00:52:15,260 Say you're sorry. 666 00:52:15,461 --> 00:52:16,723 To her? 667 00:52:17,063 --> 00:52:18,257 Be serious. 668 00:52:19,465 --> 00:52:20,557 Or... 669 00:52:20,733 --> 00:52:22,963 ...l am not going to.... 670 00:52:23,202 --> 00:52:24,464 "Chicago... 671 00:52:24,671 --> 00:52:25,899 "...Chicago... 672 00:52:26,072 --> 00:52:29,200 "...that toddling town, that toddling town 673 00:52:29,409 --> 00:52:30,671 "Chicago... 674 00:52:30,810 --> 00:52:31,742 "...Chicago 675 00:52:31,911 --> 00:52:34,072 "I'll show you around 676 00:52:34,247 --> 00:52:36,078 "You'll love it" 677 00:52:39,585 --> 00:52:40,711 Sorry. 678 00:53:01,441 --> 00:53:02,772 I'm sorry. 679 00:53:06,512 --> 00:53:07,843 I'm sorry. 680 00:53:12,285 --> 00:53:13,843 I didn't mean it. 681 00:53:29,969 --> 00:53:31,129 You cold? 682 00:53:35,041 --> 00:53:37,134 Here, take my blanket, okay? 683 00:53:56,662 --> 00:53:58,391 I'm going to sleep. 684 00:54:00,500 --> 00:54:01,762 Me too. 685 00:54:56,823 --> 00:54:58,950 All rise, all rise. 686 00:54:59,125 --> 00:55:03,061 Bickel County Court is in session, Hon. Judge Esther Newberg presiding. 687 00:55:03,229 --> 00:55:04,628 Please rise. 688 00:55:10,570 --> 00:55:11,901 Be seated. 689 00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:15,572 Now... 690 00:55:16,409 --> 00:55:18,240 ...you are charged with... 691 00:55:18,411 --> 00:55:21,141 ...disturbing the peace, destruction of property. 692 00:55:21,347 --> 00:55:22,575 $1,200 worth. 693 00:55:22,748 --> 00:55:23,976 I spoke to Jenny. 694 00:55:24,150 --> 00:55:25,583 Who's... 695 00:55:25,852 --> 00:55:27,479 -...Jenny? -That's his wife. 696 00:55:27,653 --> 00:55:30,087 That sweet painting above the bar... 697 00:55:30,256 --> 00:55:33,987 "...Two Moose Hunters in a Canoe," smashed to smithereens. 698 00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:35,491 That is so sad. 699 00:55:36,095 --> 00:55:38,757 -Isn't this a conflict of interest? -Did I say... 700 00:55:38,931 --> 00:55:40,228 ...you could speak? 701 00:55:42,969 --> 00:55:45,904 I know someone who restores paintings. I said: 702 00:55:46,105 --> 00:55:48,596 "Stop crying, I'll take care of it." 703 00:55:48,774 --> 00:55:51,937 Who can tell me exactly what happened... 704 00:55:52,111 --> 00:55:53,169 ...last night? 705 00:55:53,379 --> 00:55:54,676 I can. 706 00:55:55,114 --> 00:55:57,173 -Anyone else? -We were having dinner. 707 00:55:57,383 --> 00:55:59,010 -Not you. -If I may. 708 00:55:59,185 --> 00:56:00,675 Put your hand down. 709 00:56:01,954 --> 00:56:03,012 You. 710 00:56:03,189 --> 00:56:04,156 Please. 711 00:56:05,524 --> 00:56:06,957 In chambers. 712 00:56:08,628 --> 00:56:10,186 All rise, all rise. 713 00:56:10,396 --> 00:56:13,058 The court of Bickel County, Judge Esther Newberg presiding... 714 00:56:13,299 --> 00:56:14,698 ...is now in recess. 715 00:56:14,901 --> 00:56:16,300 Please rise. 716 00:56:31,617 --> 00:56:35,280 "Love, love, love 717 00:56:37,723 --> 00:56:41,659 "Love, love, love 718 00:56:43,629 --> 00:56:46,564 "Love, love, love 719 00:56:47,867 --> 00:56:49,562 "It's easy 720 00:56:50,436 --> 00:56:52,836 "All you need is love 721 00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:56,840 "All you need is love 722 00:56:58,344 --> 00:57:00,574 "All you need is love, love 723 00:57:02,248 --> 00:57:04,079 "Love is all you need 724 00:57:04,250 --> 00:57:07,947 "There's nothing you can know that isn't known 725 00:57:08,087 --> 00:57:11,454 "There's no one you can save that can't be saved 726 00:57:11,590 --> 00:57:13,524 "Nothing you sing can't be sung 727 00:57:13,693 --> 00:57:15,957 "But you can learn how to play the game 728 00:57:16,095 --> 00:57:17,960 "It's easy 729 00:57:18,097 --> 00:57:20,861 "All you need is love" 730 00:57:21,267 --> 00:57:22,529 Come on, sing. 731 00:57:22,702 --> 00:57:24,192 "All you need is love" 732 00:57:24,370 --> 00:57:26,361 Not you. Not yet. 733 00:57:26,539 --> 00:57:27,870 "All you need is love" 734 00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:29,200 Just the guys. 735 00:57:29,375 --> 00:57:30,467 Come on, fellas. 736 00:57:30,609 --> 00:57:31,974 "Love is all you need 737 00:57:32,111 --> 00:57:34,045 -"Love is all you need" -Bring it down. 738 00:57:50,629 --> 00:57:52,062 Wait a minute. Wait. 739 00:57:52,231 --> 00:57:53,994 -Meadsboro, one mile. -So? 740 00:57:54,500 --> 00:57:58,300 That's where the world's largest non-stick frying pan is. 741 00:57:58,504 --> 00:58:03,237 We are not stopping to see the world's largest non-stick frying pan. 742 00:58:03,409 --> 00:58:05,900 -Why not? -Because we have to get back. 743 00:58:06,145 --> 00:58:08,238 Me too. But before that happens... 744 00:58:08,414 --> 00:58:11,645 ...I'd like to see the largest non-stick frying pan. 745 00:58:11,817 --> 00:58:14,911 -It is on the way. -When we stop, he gets us in trouble. 746 00:58:15,087 --> 00:58:17,055 He also gets us out of trouble. 747 00:58:18,424 --> 00:58:20,654 What? Well, he does. 748 00:58:20,826 --> 00:58:23,761 That judge just took one look at him and.... 749 00:58:23,929 --> 00:58:25,089 What is that? 750 00:58:25,264 --> 00:58:27,425 What is it about you? 751 00:58:28,601 --> 00:58:30,933 As a woman, could you explain that? 752 00:58:31,103 --> 00:58:34,595 How should I know? I'm not the least bit attracted to him. 753 00:58:34,774 --> 00:58:37,538 -No offense, but I'm not. -I put a block on you. 754 00:58:37,676 --> 00:58:39,610 -Sure. -I did. 755 00:58:39,779 --> 00:58:40,768 All right. 756 00:58:40,946 --> 00:58:42,106 To continue. 757 00:58:42,782 --> 00:58:45,842 "Presumably, this frying pan was coated... 758 00:58:46,052 --> 00:58:47,952 "...with Teflon to save a wee bit... 759 00:58:48,120 --> 00:58:51,612 "...on the amount of cholesterol ingested by the town of Meadsboro... 760 00:58:51,791 --> 00:58:53,622 "...when they get together to honor... 761 00:58:53,793 --> 00:58:55,124 -"...the egg." -We're not stopping. 762 00:58:55,294 --> 00:58:57,785 You have 10 seconds to change your mind. 763 00:58:58,697 --> 00:59:00,130 Ten hippopotamus... 764 00:59:00,299 --> 00:59:01,857 ...nine hippopotamus... 765 00:59:02,802 --> 00:59:06,704 How much more attractive is he than I am? Be honest with me. 766 00:59:06,872 --> 00:59:08,464 Huey, this is not healthy. 767 00:59:08,641 --> 00:59:10,302 ...five hippopotamus... 768 00:59:10,576 --> 00:59:12,305 ...four hippopotamus... 769 00:59:12,478 --> 00:59:13,706 ...three, two, one! 770 00:59:43,876 --> 00:59:46,504 No jack. Of course there is no jack. 771 00:59:46,679 --> 00:59:50,843 Just ask him to fix it. He blew it. He can fix it. 772 00:59:51,016 --> 00:59:53,348 Come back here and fix this tire. 773 00:59:55,187 --> 00:59:57,018 No can do. 774 01:00:10,536 --> 01:00:12,766 I miss my wife. 775 01:00:13,272 --> 01:00:15,536 I don't miss any of my husbands. 776 01:00:16,208 --> 01:00:19,666 Although Bradley was handy with a jack. He had to be. 777 01:00:20,446 --> 01:00:22,380 I don't want to ask why. 778 01:00:22,715 --> 01:00:24,945 His tires were bald. 779 01:00:31,457 --> 01:00:35,086 His tires were bald, so was his head. 780 01:00:36,562 --> 01:00:39,360 I wish he'd called, but now he's dead. 781 01:00:41,967 --> 01:00:44,094 He's not dead, he wasn't bald. 782 01:00:45,237 --> 01:00:46,864 Poetic license. 783 01:00:47,239 --> 01:00:49,298 "His tires were bald... 784 01:00:49,808 --> 01:00:51,673 "...and they went flat 785 01:00:52,578 --> 01:00:53,909 "So did our love... 786 01:00:54,079 --> 01:00:56,809 "...and that was that" 787 01:01:01,053 --> 01:01:03,487 Maybe you could write a song about my wife. 788 01:01:03,689 --> 01:01:04,986 Do you love her? 789 01:01:07,826 --> 01:01:10,192 Yeah, she drives me wild. 790 01:01:10,596 --> 01:01:11,927 What about her? 791 01:01:15,201 --> 01:01:16,759 She had her lips done. 792 01:01:17,603 --> 01:01:19,833 Had little bits of fat... 793 01:01:20,005 --> 01:01:21,597 ...squeezed into them. 794 01:01:22,208 --> 01:01:24,938 Now my wife has lips like a blowfish. 795 01:01:25,844 --> 01:01:27,334 But in a good way. 796 01:01:30,282 --> 01:01:34,446 "My wife has lips like a blowfish" 797 01:01:37,022 --> 01:01:39,456 I don't see it, but I could be wrong. 798 01:01:39,625 --> 01:01:44,119 If I had any talent as a Country singer, I wouldn't be sitting here. 799 01:01:51,804 --> 01:01:56,298 "Sitting on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere" 800 01:01:58,310 --> 01:02:00,642 Sounds awfully familiar. 801 01:02:00,813 --> 01:02:02,474 It's good though. 802 01:02:08,654 --> 01:02:13,557 This is one godforsaken road. I bet you no one ever comes down it. 803 01:02:25,571 --> 01:02:28,005 Yeah, well, they won't stop, though. 804 01:02:37,850 --> 01:02:39,408 Bet you need a jack. 805 01:02:42,855 --> 01:02:44,846 Then what happened was... 806 01:02:45,024 --> 01:02:48,585 ...he came as a hundred mouths, open and stinking with decay... 807 01:02:48,794 --> 01:02:51,854 ...and he tore at my flesh from every angle of Heaven. 808 01:02:52,031 --> 01:02:54,795 I grabbed Beelzebub's blue tongue in my fist.... 809 01:02:55,701 --> 01:02:57,498 Who's Beelzebub? 810 01:02:58,103 --> 01:02:59,570 Beelzebub is Satan. 811 01:03:02,875 --> 01:03:05,036 Michael, get in the car. 812 01:03:28,567 --> 01:03:32,059 -What'll it be, folks? -Do you have pie? 813 01:03:32,237 --> 01:03:33,898 Do we have pie? 814 01:03:34,073 --> 01:03:36,564 You're in the pie capital of America. 815 01:03:37,242 --> 01:03:38,402 Well, we want.... 816 01:03:38,577 --> 01:03:41,137 We want pie. What have you got? 817 01:03:41,480 --> 01:03:45,473 I got them memorized, okay? Ready? We got apple, of course... 818 01:03:45,651 --> 01:03:48,484 ...banana cream, coconut cream, sour cream raisin. 819 01:03:49,355 --> 01:03:50,413 Chocolate cream? 820 01:03:50,856 --> 01:03:53,654 Definitely. Chocolate cream... 821 01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:55,292 ...and... 822 01:03:55,494 --> 01:03:57,985 ...strawberry rhubard pie and... 823 01:03:58,163 --> 01:03:59,152 ...cherry... 824 01:03:59,365 --> 01:04:01,094 ...and lemon meringue. 825 01:04:03,602 --> 01:04:06,366 We want two slices of everything. 826 01:04:06,505 --> 01:04:08,769 And vanilla ice cream on the side. 827 01:04:31,029 --> 01:04:33,463 -Bliss. -That's banana cream, that's chocolate. 828 01:04:33,632 --> 01:04:36,123 Everybody get out of my banana cream. 829 01:04:37,336 --> 01:04:40,533 That's the pie. What is, what is this pie? 830 01:04:40,706 --> 01:04:42,139 Sour cream raisin. 831 01:04:47,780 --> 01:04:49,304 What is it about pie? 832 01:04:49,481 --> 01:04:51,915 There's nothing prettier than pie... 833 01:04:52,050 --> 01:04:55,713 ...with scalloped edges and slits in the top for the heat to escape. 834 01:04:55,921 --> 01:04:58,981 Pie gives you the sense that you're a 4-square person... 835 01:04:59,158 --> 01:05:01,490 ...living in a 4-square country. 836 01:05:01,660 --> 01:05:04,322 -A pie says home. -As American as apple pie. 837 01:05:04,496 --> 01:05:05,724 I wish I invented pie. 838 01:05:05,998 --> 01:05:07,226 I did. 839 01:05:11,170 --> 01:05:12,569 I'm just kidding. 840 01:05:14,173 --> 01:05:15,504 That was a good one. 841 01:05:17,309 --> 01:05:20,073 God is in His Heaven and all's right with the world. 842 01:05:20,512 --> 01:05:21,740 My mother... 843 01:05:21,947 --> 01:05:24,177 -...made a great-- -Blueberry pie. 844 01:05:28,253 --> 01:05:29,515 So do l. 845 01:05:30,522 --> 01:05:31,955 I have to say I like... 846 01:05:32,090 --> 01:05:33,717 ...cream pie more than fruit pie. 847 01:05:33,892 --> 01:05:34,950 Me too. 848 01:05:35,194 --> 01:05:36,957 That is so wrong. 849 01:05:37,095 --> 01:05:38,460 I like them all. 850 01:05:38,764 --> 01:05:40,459 I like you. 851 01:05:44,369 --> 01:05:46,360 Sing your song about pie. 852 01:05:47,973 --> 01:05:50,601 You have a song about pie? 853 01:05:51,477 --> 01:05:53,104 Actually I do. 854 01:05:54,279 --> 01:05:55,507 Sing, Dorothy. 855 01:05:55,881 --> 01:05:56,973 Now. 856 01:05:59,284 --> 01:06:00,615 "Pie, pie... 857 01:06:00,786 --> 01:06:02,117 "...me, oh, my 858 01:06:02,287 --> 01:06:05,051 "Nothing tastes sweet, wet, salty, and dry 859 01:06:05,224 --> 01:06:07,988 "All at once so well as pie 860 01:06:08,126 --> 01:06:10,890 "Apple, pumpkin, mince and black bottom 861 01:06:11,063 --> 01:06:12,792 "I'll come to your place... 862 01:06:12,998 --> 01:06:17,901 "...every day if you've got 'em Pie, me, oh, my, I love pie" 863 01:06:24,810 --> 01:06:26,573 Sing another song. 864 01:06:30,415 --> 01:06:35,318 It's in B flat. It's pretty basic but watch out for the retard down there. 865 01:06:43,562 --> 01:06:44,927 I'm nervous. 866 01:06:46,732 --> 01:06:49,792 You'll have to forgive me, it's a work in progress. 867 01:06:49,968 --> 01:06:52,402 Don't apologize, Dorothy. Okay. 868 01:06:59,411 --> 01:07:04,314 "I'm sitting by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere 869 01:07:06,985 --> 01:07:09,579 "I don't know where I'm going... 870 01:07:09,988 --> 01:07:13,924 "...but I hope I know it when I get there 871 01:07:14,660 --> 01:07:18,152 "Thinking about how love never works out 872 01:07:18,330 --> 01:07:21,265 "But I guess that's the way it goes 873 01:07:22,167 --> 01:07:26,831 "And how this story ends only Heaven knows 874 01:07:29,608 --> 01:07:33,271 "I always thought there was an angel... 875 01:07:33,445 --> 01:07:35,640 "...watching over me 876 01:07:37,115 --> 01:07:41,677 "But even angels sometimes make mistakes... 877 01:07:41,853 --> 01:07:43,514 "...as you will see 878 01:07:44,189 --> 01:07:48,285 "'Cause I've had my share of bad love affairs 879 01:07:48,460 --> 01:07:50,985 "In fact, I married three 880 01:07:51,863 --> 01:07:54,457 "So here's my little story... 881 01:07:55,133 --> 01:07:58,967 "...about Miles, Ralph, and Bradley 882 01:08:00,038 --> 01:08:02,700 "Miles made me smile... 883 01:08:02,874 --> 01:08:06,207 "...till he stole my Camaro 884 01:08:07,479 --> 01:08:12,143 "Ralph made me laugh till I cried 885 01:08:14,219 --> 01:08:16,050 "And Bradley... 886 01:08:16,555 --> 01:08:19,490 "...l loved him madly 887 01:08:21,159 --> 01:08:23,559 "But his tires were bald... 888 01:08:23,729 --> 01:08:25,060 "...and they went flat 889 01:08:25,330 --> 01:08:28,891 "So did our love and that was that 890 01:08:30,002 --> 01:08:34,905 "Now I'm sitting in the middle of nowhere by the side of the road 891 01:08:37,843 --> 01:08:41,244 "One of these days I'll find true love 892 01:08:41,580 --> 01:08:44,014 "And learn how to say no 893 01:08:45,183 --> 01:08:46,844 "I know in the past... 894 01:08:47,019 --> 01:08:48,577 "...my love didn't last 895 01:08:48,754 --> 01:08:51,917 "As I guess this story shows 896 01:08:52,357 --> 01:08:54,917 "Where was my angel then... 897 01:08:55,093 --> 01:08:57,755 "...only Heaven knows 898 01:08:59,698 --> 01:09:02,531 "Where was my angel then... 899 01:09:04,770 --> 01:09:07,762 "...only Heaven knows" 900 01:09:35,133 --> 01:09:37,795 -I went to college. I was published. -You were? 901 01:09:39,137 --> 01:09:42,800 I was. It was like a yearly thing of poems, you know. 902 01:09:42,974 --> 01:09:44,965 It's great. That's great. 903 01:09:45,577 --> 01:09:47,408 It's really great. 904 01:09:48,480 --> 01:09:49,742 It's cold. 905 01:09:50,315 --> 01:09:52,749 I'm in there, this is Huey's room. 906 01:09:54,086 --> 01:09:55,314 Where are you? 907 01:09:56,088 --> 01:09:57,646 I'm in four. 908 01:09:57,823 --> 01:09:59,085 Where is that? 909 01:09:59,257 --> 01:10:00,656 It's up there. 910 01:10:02,260 --> 01:10:04,592 -Where exactly? -On the corner. 911 01:10:04,763 --> 01:10:07,630 Right there? You're directly over my room. 912 01:10:14,272 --> 01:10:15,671 You were great. 913 01:10:16,007 --> 01:10:17,440 Really great. 914 01:10:18,343 --> 01:10:19,435 It was.... 915 01:10:21,113 --> 01:10:23,343 -Good night. -Good night. 916 01:10:27,285 --> 01:10:28,445 It was.... 917 01:10:32,190 --> 01:10:35,682 "Something in your eyes... 918 01:10:35,861 --> 01:10:39,024 "...makes me want to lose myself 919 01:10:40,532 --> 01:10:43,467 "Makes me want to lose myself... 920 01:10:45,804 --> 01:10:47,863 "...in your arms" 921 01:10:53,311 --> 01:10:55,711 What are you doing tonight? 922 01:10:55,881 --> 01:10:57,212 Not much. 923 01:10:57,549 --> 01:10:59,210 Want to come to my room? 924 01:10:59,885 --> 01:11:01,716 Why don't you come to mine? 925 01:11:03,321 --> 01:11:04,879 That's a good idea. 926 01:11:09,494 --> 01:11:11,985 "If you knew... 927 01:11:12,397 --> 01:11:14,388 "...how lonely... 928 01:11:14,666 --> 01:11:18,830 "...my life has been 929 01:11:19,571 --> 01:11:21,505 "And how low... 930 01:11:22,073 --> 01:11:23,904 "...I've felt... 931 01:11:24,242 --> 01:11:26,176 "...so long 932 01:11:28,580 --> 01:11:31,071 "If you knew... 933 01:11:31,249 --> 01:11:34,184 "...how I wanted someone... 934 01:11:34,352 --> 01:11:36,843 "...to come along 935 01:11:38,690 --> 01:11:40,590 "And change my life...." 936 01:11:41,426 --> 01:11:43,257 -I must tell you something. -I know. 937 01:11:43,428 --> 01:11:46,363 -I'm not-- -Ever falling in love with anyone again. 938 01:11:46,531 --> 01:11:47,589 I know. 939 01:11:47,766 --> 01:11:51,930 "Feels like home to me 940 01:11:57,108 --> 01:12:01,272 "Feels like I'm all the way back... 941 01:12:01,446 --> 01:12:04,210 "...where I come from" 942 01:13:34,973 --> 01:13:36,702 Come here, Sparky. 943 01:13:36,875 --> 01:13:37,864 Come here. 944 01:13:40,378 --> 01:13:41,868 Wings? 945 01:13:42,380 --> 01:13:44,473 Far out. 946 01:13:45,383 --> 01:13:47,146 Some angel. 947 01:15:05,397 --> 01:15:07,297 I needed the job. 948 01:15:13,638 --> 01:15:14,900 Good morning. 949 01:15:15,640 --> 01:15:18,905 What exactly are we talking about here? 950 01:15:20,145 --> 01:15:23,979 At the paper. That's what I tried to tell you last night. 951 01:15:24,582 --> 01:15:27,312 I don't make excuses for working in there... 952 01:15:27,485 --> 01:15:29,646 ...there's no reason for you to. 953 01:15:34,492 --> 01:15:36,084 Here's a confession. 954 01:15:36,661 --> 01:15:38,253 You want to hear a confession? 955 01:15:38,430 --> 01:15:39,488 Yours? 956 01:15:39,931 --> 01:15:42,422 I needed the job too. 957 01:15:44,436 --> 01:15:47,599 No one'd go near me after what happened at the Tribune. 958 01:15:47,772 --> 01:15:49,433 What did happen? 959 01:15:52,343 --> 01:15:55,107 I hit the managing editor. 960 01:15:55,513 --> 01:15:56,673 Why? 961 01:15:57,015 --> 01:16:01,952 He fired this really sweet old guy who'd been there for, like, 27 years.... 962 01:16:03,521 --> 01:16:04,681 Really? 963 01:16:05,457 --> 01:16:06,515 Nope. 964 01:16:08,626 --> 01:16:10,787 He changed my lead. 965 01:16:10,962 --> 01:16:14,955 You hit him because he changed your lead? 966 01:16:20,138 --> 01:16:22,197 It was late. I was drunk. 967 01:16:25,310 --> 01:16:27,710 It makes no difference where I work. 968 01:16:27,879 --> 01:16:28,971 That's a lie. 969 01:16:29,147 --> 01:16:32,173 Bet you've got a half-finished novel in your desk. 970 01:16:33,318 --> 01:16:34,649 She got the desk. 971 01:16:37,889 --> 01:16:40,380 Are you keeping something from me? 972 01:16:44,496 --> 01:16:46,054 I'm not ethical. 973 01:16:46,631 --> 01:16:51,159 Just because you write about angels for a supermarket tabloid? 974 01:16:56,040 --> 01:17:00,340 Are you keeping some angel experience from me? 975 01:17:02,347 --> 01:17:04,406 If you are I forgive you. 976 01:17:05,850 --> 01:17:08,011 I think I could forgive you anything. 977 01:17:12,257 --> 01:17:15,749 This was not a mistake. Don't say it was a mistake. 978 01:17:15,927 --> 01:17:17,417 I couldn't bear it. 979 01:17:43,288 --> 01:17:44,880 It's going well. 980 01:17:47,625 --> 01:17:49,718 It's a difficult case, though. 981 01:17:50,728 --> 01:17:53,128 To give a man back his heart. 982 01:18:00,138 --> 01:18:01,264 Listen. 983 01:18:05,243 --> 01:18:06,972 Listen to the earth. 984 01:18:16,087 --> 01:18:18,988 I'm going to miss everything so much. 985 01:18:29,367 --> 01:18:30,732 Remember, Sparky.... 986 01:18:30,868 --> 01:18:32,836 No matter what they say... 987 01:18:33,004 --> 01:18:35,336 ...you can never have too much sugar. 988 01:18:54,459 --> 01:18:56,188 Good morning, Michael. 989 01:18:57,028 --> 01:18:58,495 Good morning, Sparky. 990 01:19:22,220 --> 01:19:24,051 No, he's all right. 991 01:19:35,066 --> 01:19:36,658 Oh, I killed him. 992 01:19:37,335 --> 01:19:39,735 -It's not your fault. -It's all my fault. 993 01:19:39,904 --> 01:19:41,394 I'm so sorry, Huey. 994 01:19:47,578 --> 01:19:49,341 I'm so sorry. 995 01:20:00,758 --> 01:20:02,851 You didn't do anything wrong. 996 01:20:15,707 --> 01:20:17,038 Do something. 997 01:20:18,209 --> 01:20:19,699 It isn't my area. 998 01:20:19,877 --> 01:20:21,105 What is your area? 999 01:20:21,279 --> 01:20:22,712 Explain it to me. 1000 01:20:24,615 --> 01:20:28,711 Somebody tell me exactly what is his area. 1001 01:20:29,220 --> 01:20:33,384 I don't know anything about his area. That's what I meant to tell you. 1002 01:20:33,558 --> 01:20:34,718 What? 1003 01:20:34,959 --> 01:20:37,894 I don't know anything about angels. 1004 01:20:38,730 --> 01:20:41,961 I'm a dog trainer. That's why I was hired. 1005 01:20:43,634 --> 01:20:45,397 To train Sparky? 1006 01:20:46,237 --> 01:20:47,636 And then after... 1007 01:20:49,073 --> 01:20:52,804 ...we screw up with the angel and Malt gets the dog.... 1008 01:20:54,412 --> 01:20:56,573 I get Huey's job. 1009 01:20:58,916 --> 01:21:00,508 I didn't know you. 1010 01:21:05,089 --> 01:21:06,420 I'm sorry. 1011 01:21:08,593 --> 01:21:10,288 I'm sorry too. 1012 01:21:14,165 --> 01:21:16,258 Now bring him back to life. 1013 01:21:18,102 --> 01:21:22,664 Don't give me any of that "it isn't my area" stuff. Bring him back to life... 1014 01:21:22,840 --> 01:21:25,274 ...or go back where you came from. 1015 01:21:27,111 --> 01:21:28,601 Bring him back. 1016 01:21:32,116 --> 01:21:33,344 Angel. 1017 01:24:04,335 --> 01:24:06,269 I don't have much longer. 1018 01:25:21,746 --> 01:25:23,805 We're here, Michael. We're here. 1019 01:25:35,426 --> 01:25:36,825 Look up. 1020 01:25:39,764 --> 01:25:43,598 "The Sears Tower in Chicago is the world's tallest building. 1021 01:25:43,768 --> 01:25:47,499 "It stands 1,454 feet above street level... 1022 01:25:47,672 --> 01:25:49,833 "...contains enough concrete... 1023 01:25:50,007 --> 01:25:52,100 "...for an eight-lane highway." 1024 01:26:01,786 --> 01:26:03,617 Quinlan, I'm so sorry. 1025 01:26:04,789 --> 01:26:06,689 I didn't do what I came for. 1026 01:26:08,793 --> 01:26:10,192 I didn't finish. 1027 01:26:13,464 --> 01:26:14,954 I'm so sorry. 1028 01:26:21,806 --> 01:26:23,034 Good-bye. 1029 01:26:23,808 --> 01:26:25,036 Good-bye, Michael. 1030 01:26:25,543 --> 01:26:27,374 Thank you for everything. 1031 01:26:27,978 --> 01:26:29,969 For letting me have a little fun. 1032 01:26:30,648 --> 01:26:33,048 Good-bye, my battling friend. 1033 01:26:33,517 --> 01:26:35,712 Good-bye world's biggest angel. 1034 01:26:36,387 --> 01:26:38,048 Godspeed. 1035 01:28:01,705 --> 01:28:03,639 -You're late. -We know. 1036 01:28:03,808 --> 01:28:05,139 Where's the angel? 1037 01:28:05,976 --> 01:28:07,307 It was a hoax. 1038 01:28:07,478 --> 01:28:08,740 -A hoax? -A hoax. 1039 01:28:08,913 --> 01:28:10,073 Definitely. 1040 01:28:10,247 --> 01:28:13,148 -He had detachable wings. -And a halo made out of pipe cleaners. 1041 01:28:13,317 --> 01:28:16,445 And he smelled of cookies. Just kidding. 1042 01:28:17,922 --> 01:28:18,911 I win. 1043 01:28:19,757 --> 01:28:21,156 You're fired... 1044 01:28:21,325 --> 01:28:22,656 ...and I get the dog. 1045 01:28:23,727 --> 01:28:25,922 Come on, my little sausage. 1046 01:28:27,264 --> 01:28:28,822 You come to your daddy. 1047 01:28:30,467 --> 01:28:31,627 You bastard. 1048 01:28:33,771 --> 01:28:34,760 Listen. 1049 01:28:35,806 --> 01:28:37,774 Don't hate me. I love you. 1050 01:28:40,477 --> 01:28:41,808 Get the mutt out. 1051 01:28:42,112 --> 01:28:45,275 Like that dog can be gotten out. Like he can do anything. 1052 01:28:45,449 --> 01:28:46,848 That is the worst dog... 1053 01:28:47,017 --> 01:28:49,008 -...I've ever met. -You said you could train any dog. 1054 01:28:49,186 --> 01:28:50,483 She was wrong. 1055 01:28:50,955 --> 01:28:53,617 So I'm stuck with these two because of a dog? 1056 01:28:53,791 --> 01:28:56,521 You're stuck with Mr. Driscoll, not with me. 1057 01:28:56,694 --> 01:28:59,663 We met a guy with a 2-headed chicken. 1058 01:29:02,199 --> 01:29:03,530 Where are you going? 1059 01:29:07,538 --> 01:29:08,800 Where are you going? 1060 01:29:10,140 --> 01:29:11,368 Get off. 1061 01:29:13,711 --> 01:29:15,702 Whatever I said, don't... 1062 01:29:15,880 --> 01:29:17,472 ...don't take it personally. 1063 01:29:17,815 --> 01:29:20,477 -You're the best reporter I have. -I'm out of here. 1064 01:29:28,993 --> 01:29:30,722 You're just going to leave? 1065 01:29:30,895 --> 01:29:33,227 -We won't talk about it? -Nope. 1066 01:29:33,397 --> 01:29:34,728 Come on. 1067 01:29:34,899 --> 01:29:36,230 Talk to me. 1068 01:29:36,500 --> 01:29:39,162 Disagree with me. Argue me out of it. 1069 01:29:39,403 --> 01:29:42,167 All right, let's have a fight. Fight me. 1070 01:29:43,407 --> 01:29:46,672 You're the only one that ever fought with me here. 1071 01:29:47,578 --> 01:29:48,909 Who will I fight? 1072 01:29:49,079 --> 01:29:52,071 -You must help me out here. -It isn't my area. 1073 01:29:52,249 --> 01:29:53,409 Wait. 1074 01:30:02,359 --> 01:30:03,849 I'm sorry. 1075 01:30:04,261 --> 01:30:05,592 Please stop. 1076 01:30:07,031 --> 01:30:08,259 Stop and talk... 1077 01:30:08,432 --> 01:30:09,421 ...to me. 1078 01:30:10,434 --> 01:30:13,369 I appreciate what you said up there. I thank you. 1079 01:30:13,537 --> 01:30:15,596 -I'll see you around. -You said... 1080 01:30:17,107 --> 01:30:19,041 ...you could forgive me anything. 1081 01:30:19,276 --> 01:30:20,607 I forgive you. 1082 01:30:21,612 --> 01:30:23,204 We had a good time. 1083 01:30:23,380 --> 01:30:24,870 What are you so upset about? 1084 01:30:27,718 --> 01:30:29,117 It's you. 1085 01:30:31,388 --> 01:30:32,912 I remember you. 1086 01:30:33,624 --> 01:30:35,285 I thought you were gone. 1087 01:30:53,410 --> 01:30:56,140 "I took a trip on a train 1088 01:30:56,313 --> 01:30:58,440 "And I thought about you 1089 01:31:01,318 --> 01:31:04,082 "I passed a shadowy lane 1090 01:31:05,422 --> 01:31:08,152 "And I thought about you" 1091 01:31:14,665 --> 01:31:15,996 Good evening. 1092 01:31:17,267 --> 01:31:21,499 For our specialties tonight, we have angelhair pasta... 1093 01:31:21,672 --> 01:31:23,833 ...with a pomodoro sauce... 1094 01:31:24,341 --> 01:31:28,277 ...capellini primavera, it's a melange of vegetables... 1095 01:31:28,445 --> 01:31:30,709 ...over angelhair pasta... 1096 01:31:31,115 --> 01:31:33,606 ...finally a light sauce with... 1097 01:31:33,784 --> 01:31:35,615 ...lemon and parsley... 1098 01:31:35,786 --> 01:31:36,844 ...it's tossed... 1099 01:31:37,021 --> 01:31:39,012 ...with angelhair pasta. 1100 01:31:39,189 --> 01:31:41,350 -Anything else? -Yes. We want... 1101 01:31:41,525 --> 01:31:44,517 ...one pumpkin nut muffin and.... 1102 01:31:45,462 --> 01:31:47,692 A piece of angel food cake. 1103 01:31:48,198 --> 01:31:50,189 They don't have angel food cake. 1104 01:31:50,367 --> 01:31:51,356 Do you? 1105 01:31:51,735 --> 01:31:53,532 "And what did I do... 1106 01:31:53,804 --> 01:31:56,534 "...l thought about you" 1107 01:33:11,949 --> 01:33:13,211 So, did you... 1108 01:33:13,383 --> 01:33:14,873 ...ever tell anyone about...? 1109 01:33:18,388 --> 01:33:19,719 I was going to. 1110 01:33:19,890 --> 01:33:22,381 I couldn't wait to get home to tell Valerie. 1111 01:33:23,894 --> 01:33:26,727 And then I opened my mouth... 1112 01:33:27,464 --> 01:33:30,024 ...and the words wouldn't come out. 1113 01:33:30,801 --> 01:33:34,237 I take a breath, I even opened my mouth a second time. 1114 01:33:35,139 --> 01:33:36,231 Nothing. 1115 01:33:37,808 --> 01:33:40,572 As far as I'm concerned, it never happened. 1116 01:33:40,811 --> 01:33:42,142 But we saw it. 1117 01:33:42,312 --> 01:33:43,404 We were there. 1118 01:33:43,580 --> 01:33:44,979 It never happened. 1119 01:33:46,316 --> 01:33:47,977 What are you up to now? 1120 01:33:48,152 --> 01:33:49,915 I'm back on the novel. 1121 01:33:52,156 --> 01:33:54,454 If it didn't happen, where's your coat? 1122 01:33:54,625 --> 01:33:57,753 What is this? lf it happened, you know what? 1123 01:33:57,928 --> 01:34:01,056 Then I must believe that some day I'll be walking... 1124 01:34:01,265 --> 01:34:05,429 ...down the street, and some unknown force will make me... 1125 01:34:05,602 --> 01:34:08,435 ...turn right instead of turning left... 1126 01:34:08,605 --> 01:34:10,266 ...and at that moment... 1127 01:34:10,440 --> 01:34:11,771 ...a car will... 1128 01:34:11,942 --> 01:34:14,843 ...come around the corner with the woman of my dreams in it... 1129 01:34:15,012 --> 01:34:16,843 ...and blow a flat... 1130 01:34:20,350 --> 01:34:23,513 ...right there next to where I'm standing. 1131 01:34:31,528 --> 01:34:33,155 It never happened. 1132 01:35:07,531 --> 01:35:08,828 Need any help? 1133 01:35:08,999 --> 01:35:11,399 -No. Thanks. -No. We're cool. 1134 01:37:06,850 --> 01:37:07,942 Michael, wait! 1135 01:37:27,137 --> 01:37:28,502 What are you doing here? 1136 01:37:28,705 --> 01:37:30,036 I live here. 1137 01:37:30,307 --> 01:37:32,207 I live two blocks from here. 1138 01:37:33,710 --> 01:37:35,041 I was on my way home and... 1139 01:37:35,645 --> 01:37:37,203 ...l thought I saw.... 1140 01:37:37,547 --> 01:37:38,912 He came around this corner. 1141 01:37:39,549 --> 01:37:40,880 That corner. 1142 01:37:53,497 --> 01:37:54,930 I love you, Dorothy. 1143 01:37:57,234 --> 01:37:58,565 I love you. 1144 01:38:03,240 --> 01:38:04,571 Marry me. 1145 01:38:08,578 --> 01:38:10,205 Marry me, please. 1146 01:38:12,516 --> 01:38:14,347 Marry me, Dorothy. 1147 01:38:17,587 --> 01:38:20,317 Oh, my darling Dorothy, will you marry me? 1148 01:38:32,536 --> 01:38:33,935 Let's go home. 1149 01:38:52,989 --> 01:38:54,889 You know, Pansy, I invented marriage. 1150 01:38:55,058 --> 01:38:57,390 -Michael. -Well, I did. 1151 01:38:57,794 --> 01:38:59,921 Before that you should have seen it. 1152 01:39:00,130 --> 01:39:03,622 Everybody was so mixed up they didn't know what to do. 1153 01:39:03,800 --> 01:39:05,631 So I said, "Have a ceremony." 1154 01:39:07,971 --> 01:39:09,302 Let's go home. 1155 01:39:25,422 --> 01:39:27,083 Do you smell something? 1156 01:39:27,257 --> 01:39:29,157 There's a bakery near here.80052

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