All language subtitles for Lovelife 1997

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♪ I don't want
your money, honey ♪

♪ I only want you

♪ when you're not
around me, baby ♪

♪ mmm, I'm so blue

♪ I'm a real handy girl,
and I'll treat you right ♪

♪ hold you in my arms
and love you every night ♪

♪ I don't want
your money, honey ♪

♪ oh, I only want you

♪ I don't want
your money, honey ♪

♪ ooh, I only want you

♪ please, be nice and
gentle to me, baby ♪

♪ and I'll be true

♪ I told you I love you,
that's what I mean ♪

♪ you the sweetest man
that I've ever seen ♪

♪ I don't want
your money, honey ♪

♪ ooh, I only want you

♪ I don't want
your money, honey ♪

♪ daddy, oh,
I only want you ♪

♪ you can go
where you want to,
do as you please ♪

♪ I'll be waiting for you
on my bended knees ♪

♪ I don't want
your money, honey ♪

♪ ooh, I only want you

[Sighs]

Oh, man! Ooh!

You know, we
really should find
someone for Amy.

I don't know why she
has such a hard time
meeting guys.

You'd think that
wouldn't be a problem.

You worry about
her too much.

Well, she's
all alone here.

Her ex-husband really
did a number on her,
let me tell you.

Yeah?

Oh, god. Peter
was a real mess--

affairs and all sorts
of prescription drugs...

Oh, god.

He was
a divinity student.

Though now, I think
he works for perot.

Uh, I think i'm
gonna get going.

Already? Are you su--
you don't want another
drink or..?

No. I have to get
some sleep tonight.

I just got a look at
the bags under my eyes

in your bathroom mirror
and...

Oh, the light
in there is
just terrible.

What you need is
a big bay window
with natural light.

Sure. I'll request
that in my next Grant
application, I think.

After I finish begging
for food and shelter,

I'll just petition
the English department

for 40 grand in
construction funds.
No big deal.

[Telephone ringing]

So, Danny says you're
not seeing anyone.

He does?
Well, I know
my social life

is Danny's
pet project, but--

it's bleak,
that's true,

but not completely
unfamiliar.

Well, I don't really
know you that well,

but there are some men
around campus who
aren't that bad--

professors,
grad students...

No. I, uh...
I mean,
you're right.

There are men.
I see them around.

But they just all
turn out to be jerks

or in love with
somebody else
or something.

Ok. That was Alan.
Another reading
Sunday night.

Oh, god.
He's such an
awful writer.

You can't
expect US to sit
through that--

he really is terrible,

and I just sound like
an idiot trying to find
something nice to say,

searching for
something--anything--

that sounds
remotely sincere.

I just ramble...
Uncharacteristically.

Thanks.good night.Bye.

Bye.

Oh, Alan's awful.

"Perhaps part of the problem
was how he saw himself."

Oh, he's so
into himself,
it's disgusting.

It's all
about him.

Shh. It's
almost over.

"His rogue good looks,
so apparent to all
those around him,

"had only in recent years
become visible to Philip.

"And now, watching himself
in action--

"his athleticism,
his understated sexuality,

"and what he liked
to call his graceful
self-possession--

"brought him
the same pleasures
as would Mozart,

a good book,
or a heavy rain."

Did he just say
"heavy rain"?

Yes. Or "heavy cream."
I'm not sure.

Wh-what I meant
to say was--yeah?

That your stuff
has a real quality,
you know?

Like, some people might
call it self-involved
or narcissistic,

but why is that
a bad thing?

I, for one, think
that it is very daring

to be consumed with
yourself like that.

And that quote's
available

for the book flap,
if you're interested.

Hey, Danny.
How you doin'?I'm great.

Thanks
for coming.Hey, you bet.

Hi. Very nice,
Alan.

So, Danny, when
are your exams?

2 weeks.
Amy and I,

we both have 2 weeks
to learn 400 years of
English literature.

Ah, well, this
isn't college,
my friend.

This is graduate
school. You have to
keep up all along.

Oh, ok. Thanks for
the tip, coach.

I feel much better now.
The pressure's completely
lifted. Thank you.

I'm really glad
you came tonight.

I don't know if
Danny told you,

but I'm teaching
a seminar this term.

Hersey taught it,
and penn Warren
before him,

but if you're
around, if you
have time,

I'd really like
you to come talk
to the class.

Come on,
you're joking.

I mean, that's
ridiculous.

You've never even
read my stuff.

No, that's true, but
from what Danny says,
I'm sure it's great.

It's wonderful.
It is.

And you always
seem in such pain
when I read.

I figure your stuff
must be terrific.

Yeah, well,
I don't know.

I don't think I have
any great pearls
to pass on.

Think about it, ok?
I'll get your number
from Danny.

Just consider it.
That's all
I'm asking.

Hi.hey, sweetie.

Hey, Molly,
you remember these
people, don't you?

Sure. Hi.
Hey, Molly.

I saw you
out there.

Danny, I think
I'm gonna go home.

Um, excuse me
for a second.

Thanks for coming.
Hey...

Why couldn't I have
just said, "very nice"?

You ok?
Is everything
all right?

No. I'm getting
my period,
my head hurts.

I just want to take
a 3-pound midol and
get in the bath.

You know
I don't do well
at these things.

Don't let me
spoil it for you.

Well, I'm just
gonna hang out for
a little while longer,

and then I'll stop by
afterwards, ok?

Ok...see you later.

Bye.

Oh, my sister...
Let me tell you,

she's not much
for learning,
you know?

She hardly made it
through high school.

She reads Garfield
calendars.

Not even the books.

Her idea of heavy
reading is a month
with 31 days.

I think i'm
a little drunk
from that wine.

I mean, she's happy.
She's completely...

I mean, I envy--
I envy her, really.

I would gladly
trade 30 I.Q. Points

for the ability
to enjoy
rollerblading.

I'm flush,
I'm flush.

God, I can't
remember the last
time I was drunk.

You gonna make it?

Yeah.
You ok?

Yeah.

You are not still
worried about the
exams, are you?

Yeah.
Of course.

That is so silly.
You know as much
as I do.

I don't know,
I don't know,
I don't know.

Maybe I'm not
graduate material.

I reread Hamlet
the other day.

The only question
I could come up
with was

did the prince of Denmark
masturbate as much as I do?

It's not exactly
thesis material.

Before I forget.

This is for me?
Really?

What's the, uh..?Just open it.

Ok. An unexplained gift.

Am I ill? Do you
know something about
me that, uh...

My god...

Goodbye, Columbus.
A first edition.

Amy, this is, uh...
This is expensive.

No, it's not,
really.

I mean, it's
a first edition,

but it's only
a second printing.

It's kind of
nicked up.

I saw you
looking at it
the other day,

and I knew, of course,
you wouldn't buy it
for yourself, so...

Hey, do you
wanna come over?

I got a bottle of
wine just sitting
there waiting,

and a terrific
buzz on. I'd hate
to lose it at 9:00.

Uh...god,
actually, I can't.

Oh, we could just--
we don't have to drink,
if you don't want to.

No, no. I told Zoey
I'd stop by afterwards.

You know,
she's expecting me.

Right. Yeah, well...

I probably
shouldn't drink
anyway, you know.

I mean, maybe
I'm not that drunk,
actually.

I don't know.

Anyway.

Well, look, I'll see you
this weekend, right?

Yeah...that's fine.

Ok.ok.

Good night.Good night.

Oh, um...

Thanks for the book.

No. Sometimes,
those things depress me,

but tonight went...
Very well, I think.

Yes.i think it went
very well.

It did.
It went great.

Some of
your students,

they're younger
than me, and they
know so much.

They mentioned
writers I'd never
even heard of.

I think they
were writers.

See, I don't
even know.

Look at this.
We forgot to pay
the water bill.

You're a creative
person, Alan.

What do I do?
I take some
night classes

when i'm
not bartending.
What's that?

Hey, you understand art.

Oh, right.

No. I'm serious.
Not a lot of people do.

And you appreciate
good writing, like mine.
That's what's important.

Don't laugh.

There are
so many women
around here

you probably
have so much more
in common with.

Oh, that's right,
I forgot.

Those
fantastically interesting
grad school girls.

Please, miss peabody,
deconstruct Milton
for me one more time.

I'm not completely
asleep yet.

You shouldn't worry.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I know.

Hey, you know
that song

at the beginning
of the Mary Tyler
Moore...

You know,
it goes like...

"She can take
a nothing date,

and suddenly,
make it all seem
worthwhile"?

How does she make
a nothing date
worthwhile?

Does that mean,
at the end of
the night,

she just blows
the guy?

"I know this was
a crappy date,
but...

This should make it
worthwhile."

"Nothing day."

What?

"Nothing day."
Not "nothing date."

No guy.

Oh.

Well, that
explains it.

Hey, Tim, can I
ask you a question?

Yeah.

What is this?

Shit. God, I wish
you hadn't found
that.

Well, captain Nemo,
do you want to...
Explain this?

Well...there's
this girl--woman--

who lives in
the apartment
across the way.

She likes to
walk around a lot
in lingerie.

Sometimes naked
even. Anyway,
that's it.

Right. So,
where does the naval
technology come in?

So she won't look out
the window and see me
and get scared.

Great. So instead, she'll
be scared she's gonna get
hit by a torpedo.

Look, it's not like
I'm videotaping her
or anything.

Yes, yes, we all
commend you for
that, but, uh...

A little restraint, huh?

Ok, Tim?

Are you really sure
you want me there?

Well, it's your class,
but...Ok.

Right. And what time?

8:00 to 10:00. Ok.

Yeah, ok...
And good-bye.

Hey, uh, I been
looking at your
crossword puzzle here.

Um...i think you made
a mistake on 6 down.

I could be wrong,
but I don't think "slim"
is a biblical name.

You got
a little sun today.

Yeah. Another
productive day
of studying.

Anyway, I shouldn't be
too late tonight.

Alan just wants me
to sit in and get
a feel for it

if I'm going to give
the lecture next month.

Then I'll come back
and sleep here, ok?

And, um,
you know what?

That story I've
been working on is
going really well.

It's really turning out
well, I think.

What?

You look pretty.

No.

Yes, you do.

You really do.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm just reminded
of that old adage:

"Those who
can't do, teach."

But you're
a terrific teacher...

I have to admit.

And you're a writer
and a teacher.

You seem to be having
your share of success.

Well, you, too.
That fellowship
is great.

I'm envious.

Please, don't start
sounding like Danny.

What, I sound
like Danny?

No. He's always
trying to convince me
of my own worth.

I know what I have
going for me.

I know what I have
and what I don't have,

and I'm perfectly fine
with it.

And you and Danny,
boy, you guys
seem very...

Yeah, he's wonderful.

He's a great guy.

When I came here
for the fellowship,

I didn't know a soul.

It could've been
a really lonely--

terrible, lonely year,

and it's been--
it's been wonderful.

It's funny,
you know...

The, uh, people
we're with.

I just think that
you always have
this perfect type,

I mean, in your head,
and then everyone goes
off and gets married,

and how many times
have you heard them
come back and say,

"he's not who I
expected I'd be with,"

or, "she's not at all
who I'd have seen
myself with."

And then when they say
that, what do I say?

I say, "well,
congratulations.

"You're very lucky
to have found someone

so completely wrong
for you."

I mean, I didn't
mean--i wasn't--

oh, no.

I just think
someone like you...

Deserves...

Well, you know.

Maybe.

It's 11:30.

Is it?

Yeah.

Maybe we
should, um...

Get back to our
respective lives
about now.

Yup.

Well, there must
be someone--

someone healthy
and sane.

Gee, let's not make
our standards too
impossible, ok?

I just don't know
why you can't meet
a nice fella.

I'll tell you why.

Because there are
a bunch of losers
and weirdos out there.

Actually,
I kind of like
the losers.

It's the weirdos that
are more of a problem.

I have a friend
who only dates guys
she doesn't like.

She said she used to
date guys she liked,

but she gets so nervous
alternately trying to
make a good impression

and worrying what
they thought about her

that she would just
become this nervous wreck
and scare everyone off.

But now, dating guys
she doesn't like,

she feels relaxed,
in control, and great
about herself.

Isn't that weird?

It's weird. Um...
It's not interesting,
but it's weird.

Hey, wait a--
I forgot. Oh,
this is perfect.

My friend Tim.

I mean,
the two of you guys.
What do you think?

I don't know. Tim?
He seems so odd to me

with the satellite dish
with the 500 channels.

I mean, he's always
watching TV.

True, true,
but a couple
of years ago,

before he
dropped out,

he was a real
big deal in the
physics department.

I mean, really,
he's a very
bright guy.

I know. I thought
you said he was
seeing someone.

Seeing someone.
Um...

Technically, yes,

but not in the
traditional sense,
believe me.

Look, the four of US
will go out--me and
Zoey, you and Tim.

I'll probably just
end up talking to you
the whole night.

I think you guys
might--

Zoey, don't you
think they'd like
each other?

I didn't know
she was there.

Yup. See? She
agrees with me.

So, let's just do it
and not think about
it so much, ok?

Ok...all right.

Ok. Anyway, I'll
talk to you later,
all right?

Hey, Danny?
Yeah?

Uh, do you think
it's possible there's
a third sex out there

that's really good
at relationships?

Yeah, I met him.
He cuts my hair.

All right.
Good night.

Ok, good night. Bye.

Amy and Tim.

Hmm...

Maybe
it'll work out
with them.

[Ringing]

Hello?

I'm running out of
reasons to call you.

Hello?

It's Alan.

I know.

I thought about
calling to ask

what you're gonna talk
to my class about,

but I didn't want
to be pushy.

Oh, no.
You're not being.

I--i don't know
what it'll be yet.

No, I know. Um...

Look, can I see you?

Now?

Yeah. You doing
anything?

No.

Do you wanna
meet me somewhere?

Ok.

Do you know where
my office is?

It's the first floor
of the English building--
room 106.

Give me
half an hour.

Alan?

Yeah, ok. Um...

So, you're gonna, uh...
We're gonna see
each other?

Yeah. Good-bye.

Bye.

Hi. You found it.

Hello.

Well, this, uh...
This is um...

I have all this
extra energy.

What is the word
for that?

Um...i feel, uh...
What is that?

Punchy. Do I seem
that way to you?

A little.

They say weather
has something to do
with that.

It's cooling off.
The change in the seasons.

That couch is really good
for napping on.

It doesn't look it,
but it's very...

Molly thinks, uh...

Molly. God.
No, that's, uh...
No. That's not good.

Well...molly, you know?
Um...I don't know.

I wonder what we have
in common sometimes.

Is that for my sake?

What?

Because to be
honest, Alan,
I really don't care.

All that,
that's entirely
your business.

You know Danny
and I are friends.

Hmm. Again,
your business.

Look, we both know
why you called me,
and why I'm here.

And I'm not trying
to make this hard
on you,

but I refuse to
coax you or talk
you through it.

I came here
to see you.

I'm glad you came.
I wanted you to come.

Yeah? Well, I don't
get that from you.

You seem nervous
and guilty.

And if you're
trying to set
the proper mood,

there are probably
some better emotions
to choose.

Yes, um...

You're right.

Hey, um...
I guess I just...

I like to think
I'm a little suaver
than I actually am.

You'll, uh...

You'll permit me
that, ok?

God...i just think
you're beautiful,
you know?

I think you're
wonderful, honestly.

Danny,
listen to this...

Danny?

Hey.

I took out
a personal ad
once.

I'm not ashamed
of it.

You never
told me this.

Yeah. It was
after my divorce,

and I wasn't
meeting anyone,

and so I took out
the ad.

What'd it say?

The ad?

It started with, uh...

"Come march
in my parade."

"Come march
in my parade."

Now, I know it wasn't
the most clever,

but the guy at the paper
liked it, and so,
you know, I...

Anyway, then it
went on from there.

"Come march
in my parade."

Did anyone
answer it?

Yeah,
a couple of guys.

And 3
high school
bands.

Hey!

Hey. Hi.

Alan, look.

Hey, Danny, hi--
oh! Everyone.

Hi.hello.

Oh, this is
my brother Rick
and his wife candy.

You wanna join US?
We can pull up
a table.

Oh, we're just
on our way out.

We ate back
over there.

They're heading
back up to the
lake tonight.

What part of
the lake are
you going to?

Do you know
the area?

Actually, no.

I just always
hear people ask
that question,

so your answer
won't matter anyway.

We should
get going.

They wanna
head back before
it gets too late.

Nice seeing
you guys.

Have a good night.Bye.Nice to meet you.

Good to
meet you.
Bye.

Very domestic looking.

I know.
I wonder if he stops
screwing freshmen

when her family
comes into town.

Can I get you all
anything else?

Uh, yeah. You
want another one?

Oh, sure. I can
sleep in late.

Zoey?

Tim: Uh, I'll
have another.

Zoey?

Uh, no. Nothing.

Tim really
liked her.

He said he
thought Amy was
a dynamite lady.

"Dynamite lady."
Jesus.

The guy's been
watching too many
Sinatra movies.

Wasn't that bizarre?
Do you think that
was really bizarre

that we all ended up in
the same place tonight?

Did Amy happen
to say anything
to you about Tim

when you guys
were in the bathroom
together?

It's a Saturday night.
We're all in the same place.
We happen to see them.

You think she'd
say something.

She didn't happen
to say anything about
Tim? Nothing at all?

She's hardly going
to confide in me.
She's your friend.

I just think
it's so weird.

How many dozens
of restaurants are
there to eat at?

Jesus, in walks
Alan and Molly

and their cousins
from wherever the
fuck knows where.

Why is everyone
so insular in
this place?

We all have to eat
at the same restaurant,

same time,
on a Saturday night.

That's so
claustrophobic.

Maybe there's a problem,
trying to set two people
up in that place.

Jesus,
if my landlord hasn't
fixed the thermostat...

Oh, no, of course not.
It's horrible.

It's still like
there's a harbor in here.

Uh...look,
I'm still kinda hungry.

Do you mind? I know
you have a can of ravioli
here someplace.

I've been seeing it
around for months.

Huh! You'd think
there would be a
restaurant in this town

where people could eat
without the whole world
filing past.

Aha!

You ok?

Yes.

No.

No. It's been
an awful week,

and I don't really
understand why you'd
want to be around me

when I'm like this.

Well, i--
I find mood swings
very endearing.

Danny,
maybe we need to
reevaluate things.

"Reevaluate"?

As in, uh...

"Don't eat my ravioli"

or...

"Reevaluate" as Stalin
might've used the word?

God...

I can't feel
so responsible
for someone.

I'm not capable
of it.

I can barely
make myself happy

dragging myself
out of bed and
through the day.

I can't feel
this responsible
for someone else.

Look, I appreciate
the attempt

to make yourself
look less attractive,

but--

it's not an attempt.

It's just...

Something's
not right, Danny.

You must know that.

Zoey...

What are you
trying to say?

Yeah...

That's what I thought.

Excuse me, uh...

Can I have
another, please?

Don't I know you
from someplace?

You look
very familiar.

Yeah. I served you
your first 4 drinks also.

Oh, that's right.

It's an awful line,
isn't it?

Yeah, I know.

You know, friends
of mine get divorced,

their predatory skills
come right back

to when they were 22.
Me, uh...

Actually,
I'm not divorced.

Hmm. You know,
when you're over 40
and you're single,

women want to hear
that you've been
divorced once

so they don't think
you've been living
with your mother

the whole time,
which is, uh...

Certainly not the case.

So, what, are you
dropping your daughter
off or something?

My daughter. Oh, no,

but that's very sweet
of you, thank you.

No, I'm teaching
a course this semester.

Writing for television.

No kidding.

No kidding.

You know, Alan--

Alan?

My boyfriend.Oh.

He hates television
like he's above it
or something,

but I really like it.
I mean, I always have.

Do you write?

What do you mean,
television writing?

Well, let's
not keep saying
television writing.

Let's say
the long form for
the small screen.

The long form
for the small screen.

Well,
that's interesting.

Man: Here we go!

Man, panting:
Hold--hold it a second.

What kind of university
teaches a course
in TV writing?

Huh? What's next,
they got a symposium
on...Welding?

Come on. I thought
you'd be happy
for me.

I feel like crap.

Well, maybe if
you get some sleep

instead of staying
at your office till
god knows when, hmm?

And Bruce, you know,
he hasn't just
written for TV.

Bruce? Ha ha!

He writes plays and
all sorts of stuff.

Bruce! Bruce!

And I told him
all about you.

Oh, I'm sure Bruce is
real interested in me.

He was.

Yes, Bruce was
fascinated with me

and my writing process,

your tits...

Don't tell me
you're jealous.

Jealous?

Good! I like that.

If only I felt
like this after
the stairmaster.

My god,
you are so hot.

You know, sometimes
I sit at my office,

and I think
about your body.

For hours.

I get no work done.

I have a stack of
midterms on my desk

that should've been
graded weeks ago.

It's...it's crazy.

You know, I am
gonna leave her.

Uh-huh.

I am. It's
just a question

of finding
the right time,

you know, finding...

That...time, and...

Timing.

This is very much
about timing.

Ha ha!

If you're going
to treat me like
the other woman,

at least treat me like
an intelligent woman.

I mean, "timing"?

I know, I know.

At least, tell me
you stay together
for tax reasons.

Now, that'll be good.

I know. I'm a prick,
but I'm not gonna
stay with her

and
drive her crazy like
I've been doing.

Look, I may be
a bastard for all
the obvious reasons,

but if you look
at me, I mean,
really examine

how I struggle
with these things,

then I think
I'm a pretty
considerate guy.

But if I don't leave
her right away,
that's ok, too.

Right?

Ok. You got
the assignments.

See you next Thursday.

No. Because
you got to stick...

Everything is, uh...

Stick to the facts,
all right?

[Running steps]

Molly?

Hi.

Hi.

So, was it everything
you hoped it would be?

Oh, it was amazing.

Yeah?

Yeah. I had no idea
so much goes
into every script,

scenes
and acts and...

I don't know,
I guess I just
used to think

actors
just made it up
as they went along.

Yeah, well, so do they.

Well, let me cleverly
turn the conversation
around on me.

I mean, how was I?
Was i--was I boring?

Did I talk too much?

Was I too handsome and
distinguished standing
in front of the class?

It was--it was
great, really.

Yeah?

Yeah. I mean,
so exciting.

I can't wait and try
and write something.

Yeah? You have an idea?

No...

Well,
you know, I mean,
I think I do.

I get one
and then, phfft!

I'm not really
a writer, you know.

Why not?

I think you could be.

I mean,
you seem like a person
who has a lot to say.

Maybe nobody
to say it to.

You know, I really
wouldn't say that.

I mean, no,
I'd have to say

that you're wrong
about that.

What, you have
nothing to say?

Ha ha! No.

I mean, I've someone
to say it to.

And he listens?

Yeah, he listens.

I quit.

Ahh...i want to
make love to you.

Do you hear me?

I want to make
love to you.

You're so proper.
You can say "fuck."

Ok.

Fuck, I want
to make love to you.

Ha ha!

I mean, was there
someone else?

Was she seeing
someone, or...

Danny: Well,
she didn't say.

I mean,
I don't think so,
but...

God,
maybe I should've
seen it coming.

She's been
so moody lately.

How long's she been
moody for?

Well,
we've been together
for about a year,

so...

10 months.

I don't know,
I don't know.
Maybe--maybe--

maybe I'm just drawn
to unstable women.

You know,
I was watching

splendor
in the grass
the other day.

Gotta admit,

I found Natalie wood
much more attractive

after she was
institutionalized.

I mean, those--

those cute little
smocks they put
her in just...

Danny, I think
it's just a bad idea

to give someone
that much importance
that you give to Zoey.

Yeah, I know.

I mean, people don't
want to know that they
can hurt other people

because,
inevitably, they will.

We are not a kind species,
you know. We just...

Every chance we get,
we weed out
a few more of US.

In prehistoric times,
it was the guy
with the devil,

and then, you know,
it was people with
the black lung or scurvy

and now it's men who
love the wrong women.
I mean,

in a couple of years,

all thinking people
will be gone.

The only people left

are gonna be
baseball players' wives.

Hmm.

Yeah, thanks.

I mean,
I didn't come at it
quite so...

Anthropologically,
but, uh...

I just know I
don't feel so good.

Hey...

Hey, how's this?

Why don't we
skip dinner--

I haven't put
the chicken in yet--

and let's get stoned?

Uh...no, I
don't think so, no.

Come on,
it'll be great!

No, I've got this pot
from when Peter
and I split up.

You have pot?

Really, you
have got pot?

Yes. I've had it
for, like, 3 years.

Hold on, I'll get it.

You got pot.

Yeah, I never touch it.

When Peter gave it
to me, he was trying
to quit for...Anyway...

Hey, by the way,
your friend Tim
called me.

Yeah, yeah.
He really likes you.

I mean, he really--

he left a message
on the machine.

You know, I never
called him back,
but I...

I feel bad about this.
He seems so sweet,
you know, but I'm just--

I'm really not
interested.

God, I can't remember
the last time I smoked.

Holy shit!

I know. I mean,
there's a lot,
you know.

Peter was
a really big--

Christ,
look at this!

Oh, my god!

What was he
trying to do,

corner the market
and drive up
the price

like
the hunt brothers
or what?

Ridiculous. I mean,
I never use it, you know,

and i--there's
enough here, right?

Enough? Um...

You're
in cheech and Chong
territory here, ok?

You probably
shouldn't keep
all this

in your apartment.

How much
did your ex-husband
smoke?

Oh, a lot, a lot.
I mean,

and this was on top
of all the seconal.

Well, um, ok.

Uh, boy. Uh...

Ha. If you
wanna smoke this,

do you have
any rolling paper--

well, this is
a large amount.
Um...

Maybe
a flour tortilla?

There's a pipe
in the bag.

A pipe in the bag.

Jesus. Um...

All right.

All right,
all right, good.

Can you please
lock the door?
And, uh...

Please, draw
the shades, too.

Make sure,
because we do have
quite a bit here,

and I'm fairly sure
that if we're caught
with this...

We can get
the death penalty.

[Folk music playing]

Mmm...

Hi.

You just wake up?

Yeah, I guess. Was
I asleep for long?

Uh...i don't know.

I dozed off
a little, too.

Getting old,
you know.

I mean, we smoke
a milligram of pot,

and we act like
glaucoma patients.

[Laughs]

Well, I feel...

Very relaxed.

[Laughs]

Mmm...

Are you ok?

Yeah.

You know,
I lose my stipend
since I dropped out.

I'd forgotten
about that.

I have to earn
some money.

You know, if I want
to keep living indoors.

This song
always makes me
a little sad.

Mm.

It's nice.

You know,
it's funny.

I mean,
when you're a kid
and you like a boy--

I was just thinking
about this--

you don't
actually tell him,

because that's not
the way it's done,

but you, you know,

tease him
or call him names
or something

then pretty soon
he gets it,

and if a boy
likes you back,

then he'd punch you
or pull your hair--

I forget
the exact trend--

but the point is
that as ridiculous
as it seemed

and as primitive
as it was,

it got the job done.

He knew
you liked him, and
you knew the same.

The sad thing is--
I'm 28 now--

when it comes
to telling a man how
I feel about him,

I was
more articulate
when I was 9.

I'm sorry. Oh!

Me with my theories.

Every twinge
of emotion

has to be
transcribed and
categorized like...

I love you, Danny.

I do.

And I have just
been holding it in
for way too long.

I'm just...You know,

impulsiveness
goes against all my
natural instincts,

and saying this
is just this
terrific...Release,

this rush of...

Will you please
say something,

because if I keep
going on, I'm gonna
cross that line

between
endearingly neurotic

and just
plain annoying.

Amy...

I...

I'm--I'm flattered.

I, uh...

Oh, Jesus!

No, really, I am.

I...

Amy, i--

now, just
don't insult me.

Ok, I'm a mess.
I'm a mess.

I mean, look,
look at me,
my life is--

I'm in no--

god, I feel
ridiculous!

I'm in no condition...

I'm--oh, boy...

Teach me to act on--

I mean, to actually
act on something
I'm feeling.

Oh, god...

Excuse me,
I'm gonna have
to throw up now.

Molly: Alan?

Alan?

Alan?

♪ Alan

Alan! Ha ha!

Hi!

Hi.

So,
what did you think?

Did I write it well?

Yeah. You know,
it's, um, hard to--

it's a start.
It's 2 pages.

Come on.
Tell me, really.

It's hard to say.
It's 2 pages.

It's...missing
the middle and end

and most
of the beginning.
What?

Wouldn't it be
easier just to say

you don't like it?

Honey, it's 2 pages!
What do you think,

you're gonna sit down
the first time
and write Moby dick?

Oh, no, it's not a novel.
It's for television.

Oh, ok, the
television equivalent
of Moby dick.

What is that,
the jeffersons?

You're so funny, Alan.

Honey,
what do you think
I do all day?

Do you think I write
2 pages and pat
myself on the back?

I mean, it, uh...

No, I'm sorry,
you know?

You're right.
Jesus, what was
I thinking? This...

You know, I think
you should retire
on these 2 pages.

Really, because
I must've been
out of my mind,

'cause I think...

You have reached
insights here

that just have
eluded the great...

"I like being a kid.

No one expects
anything of me."

Oh, boy, that
just...Really...

What do you
want me to say?
It's 2 pages!

I--aah!

Fuck! God damn it!

You ok?

Fucking lamp!

You want me to
get you some ice?

I'm fine! It's just
like this fucking--

like knitting needles
and it's just like

you stub your toe
on everything, right?

It's like
a full household of--

a household minefield
of household disasters.

[Sighs]

I should walk around
on stilts in this place.
Really, it's like--

it's a fucking pigsty,
see? Look at it.

Leave it there.
It's my shirt.
Don't pick it up.

Well, it's just
a few things.

Yeah, it's my mess.
Don't pick it up.
They're mine.

You don't have to
pick it up. You don't
have to clean up.

I'm putting them
in the hamper, ok?

Well, don't put them
in the fucking hamper!

[To himself]
Jesus Christ,
listen to me.

No, don't listen
to me. I...

Why do you put up
with me? Jesus Christ,

I lecture you
on your writing
like, I mean,

what do I know?
I can't con anyone
into publishing my stuff.

I come home late,
I don't call you...

This place
is a fucking pigsty,
and it's my fault!

It's my mess,
and you clean it up.

It's not that bad.

I mean, everything
is my fucking fault.

Why don't you
get angry at me?

Really?

Why don't you
just tell me,

"Alan,
you are a real prick,
you know that?"

Because you're not!
You...

Why would I
say that?

I am a prick.
You know that.

Well, you should
stop saying that.

You know,
sometimes I wonder
what it would take

for you to get angry
at me. Really.

What it would take
for you to say,

"Alan, you are
a real prick!"

I mean, if there
is such a thing,

if there is such an act
that could be perpetrated.

Alan, do me a favor

and tell me what it
is you've done.

Done? No,
i--i haven't--

tell me!

Ok.

Ok,

I met someone.

You know, someone else.

I don't want you
to think it's you.
It's not...

You know, some
shortcoming in you.

Goddamn toe...

Why do you want
to marry me?

Why do you think
I'd be any better
at marriage

than I am
in anything else
in my life?

I...oh,
Jesus Christ...

I--i feel nothing
but full of these...

Horrible clichés
right now.

And what a crime
to be unoriginal,

right, Alan?

Look, I don't
want you to worry.

I'll move out.
I want you to keep
the house.

We're paid up
to the end
of the month,

and I'll...
I'll get out,

and I'll steer clear.

I'll have a place
by morning.

I'll have a great
fucking place.

Sorry, i--i just didn't know
where else to go.

You'd think if
you live in a place
for 2 years,

you'd have options,
friends or something.

No, look, i'm
glad you came here.

I guess he was
just bored with me.

Bored? Oh, no.

I mean, Alan
was the one with
all the experience.

He was it for me. He
was my experience.

Mm.

I guess people
aren't too impressed

when all you know
is them.

Well,
how could he not see
what you're about?

I mean...

You mind me sitting here?

It's your place.

Look,

Molly, I see someone
who's smart

and intuitive

and has a wonderful heart
and all sorts
of other qualities

which you probably
don't even recognize

because you've
been seeing yourself

through him for years.

So, instead,
you're saying

I should see myself
through you.

No.

Look,

maybe Alan
isn't the one.

I mean, I know
that destiny is a...

Popular concept
with people your age,

but trust me.

There's lots of people
out there for everybody.

Well,
if that's true,

how come
you're alone?

Well, i'm
not talking about me.
I'm talking about you.

Ha ha!

I figure...

In a few years,
after I've given up
completely,

I'll just, um...

Have a bride
shipped from Korea.

Right.
Yeah.

Well, you'll know when
you get the invitation,

'cause it'll say,
"Dr. Samuel foreman
invites you

"to celebrate the wedding
of his son Bruce Michael

"to...

Ho Yang pak."

That's funny.
I can't tell

if you're
really smart or
really screwed up.

Well, I used to be
really screwed up,

but when you hit 40,

they reclassify it all
as wisdom.

That's--

you're gonna be ok.

Oh, my god!
Do you know--
what time is it?

Oh! You know what,
I have this
appointment

I'm supposed
to be at,
but I'm so stupid.

I'm supposed to meet
this person. I'm...

Just totally forgot.
I'm sorry.

Thank you
for the water, ok?

Thanks.

[Door shuts]

Uh...
Kung pao chicken?

You said kung pao beef.

Oh, all right,
all right, ok. Uh...

But...
Won ton soup, right?

Egg drop.

Great. Thanks.

See you soon.

Hmm.

Tim.

Oh, hey.

Dinner?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Dinner?

Yeah.

Yeah, I usually do
the takeout thing.

It's a little
less depressing
that way.

I'm sorry.
I didn't mean any--

oh, no.
It is depressing.

Insulting
and depressing.

I meant to call you
back. I--i just--

you know, I got
your message, and--

oh, it's ok, it's ok.
It's...You know.

And you know
how it is. You wait

and then it's
a couple of weeks

and then
you're embarrassed

that you didn't call
back right away

and then you just
never...

Well...

Good night.

Hey...

Uh...

I know you probably
have plans, but--

no. No plans.

No, wait, you
may want an excuse,

but I was wondering
if you, uh...

Wanted to...

Have dinner with me.

[Song starts]

♪ As we

♪ run through

♪ if you call me up,
I'll try to come ♪

♪ and don't
just disappear ♪

♪ you and me in
a 3-way crowd ♪

♪ I see it now

♪ when you're
working a crowd ♪

♪ and you
keep me around ♪

♪ 'cause I help you
stand out ♪

[Door rattles]

♪ Pushing me down

♪ 'cause it makes
you feel proud ♪

Alan?

♪ And you, you take
the soul from me ♪

Alan?

♪ Just me

♪ I want to make

♪ you're full of air,
and you're half awake ♪

♪ pass me

♪ I wanna be

♪ the boy
in your head ♪

♪ just someone

[Telephone rings]

Hello.

Hello.

[Coughs]

♪ Kiss on the chin...

You got some nice
girl-on-girl stuff
back there.

What's that?

The lesbo stuff.

Real good.

Thanks. Um...

That will be...

$23.

Could I get
a receipt?

For my taxes.

[Tears register tape]

[Door jangles]

Hello.

Uh...hi.

I didn't hear you
come in.

I heard you left
the program.

Yeah.

Well, you know
how hard it is

to balance school
and a career.

You look great.

Well, you always...

[Door jangles]

Alan: Danny.

Hey! God, I haven't
seen you in a long time.

Yeah. You look good.

You working here
now, huh?

Uh, no, actually,
I acquired it in
a hostile takeover.

Yeah. This
and the laundromat
around the corner.

Man, this is amazing.

I've been here
almost a month,
no one comes by.

First Zoey, now you.

I thought
you were going to wait
for me at shorty's.

There's nothing
but undergraduates
there.

I haven't seen Danny
in, god, what?

It seems
like for ages.

We were...

Just, uh...

We were just walking.

We were walking.

So, uh...

So, Danny,
what, uh...

What's the plan?
Are you sticking
around?

You taking off
for Europe?

Uh, what?

Uh...

I don't--um...

There's a lot of 'em.

[Laughs]

Not sure.

Alan, could you
just give US
a second?

Yeah. Sure.

Sure.

Well, uh...
Good luck,
you know,

with whatever
happens.
I mean it.

Thanks.

Oh, hey, uh,
did you get

the new
colossus review
in yet?

Colossus review.
What is that?

It's a literary
magazine.
Very prestigious.

It's big
in the southwest.
The hopi--

or is it sioux?
Some tribe
puts it out.

But they picked
one of my stories
for the new issue.

I haven't seen
it yet.

You know what?
We're fresh out.

Try in next week.

Next week.

Well, if you
get a chance,

I'd like to know
what you think.

Zoey, I'm gonna
be in front.

Good seeing you.

Oh, god, i'm
sorry about that.

Hmm. Yeah.

I asked him
to wait outside.

Yeah. Well...

Thanks for stopping by.

I got a lot
of work to do.

[Sighs]

[Staple gun pops]

I need to borrow
your car.

Yeah?

I just need to
get out of town

for a couple
of days,

clear my head,
that's all.

A couple days?
What if I need it?

You? For what?

You never leave
this place.

You live like
Anne frank here,

Anne frank with
a satellite dish.

Please.

Well, let's try
to find the keys.

They should be here
somewhere.

His generation marked
the de-evolution of
the species,

Philip thought.

50 years ago young men
defeated Hitler.

Today, his contemporaries'
sole aim

is to get their
lives together.

At this rate,
in a century or two,

man will scrape his knuckles
and run from fire.

[Vacuum cleaner whirs]

Zoey: You knew
I had work to do.

I didn't hide
that from you.

Well, it would've
been nice

to have had you there
tonight, that's all.

Have we eaten yet?

I haven't eaten yet.

I ate.

Does our pithy
little interaction

mean you want to fight
or you don't want to fight?

Just clue me in.

I specifically
asked you to wait
at shorty's,

not to come in
with me.

What?

I mean,
he's so brilliant.

And he's a
hard worker.

And he could've
been a wonderful
professor.

And to see him
like that.

And for him
to see US
and realize--

Jesus Christ,
is this about Danny?

Oh, and the stupid
colossus review.

Please,
very prestigious.

With a circulation
of what, 12?

That's a well-respected
journal.

Yes, another
great literary
contribution

from the sioux
nation.

You know what seems
strange to me?

You went out with Danny
for over a year.

And by your own admission,
you gave him nothing.

You treated him like
shit half the time.That's not true.

And now suddenly
he's the greatest guy

to whom you've done
a horrible wrong.

And you look at him--
don't think this escapes me.

You look at him
almost reverentially.

You know nothing
about Danny.

I know how
you looked at him.

What is all this?
How I looked at him?

I am with you now.
We're together.

Do you ever look
at me that way?

Do you ever extend me
the compassion,

the support that
you're suddenly
summoning up for Danny?

I see what this is
about: Insecurity.

Fuck goddamn insecurity.

To you that, what,
is the dirtiest word
in the English language.

What is it that
you want from me,
Alan?

What is
the unconditional
support that you want?

You want to hear
you're a great writer?

You're a great writer.

You want to hear
you're a great lay?

'Cause you're
a great fucking lay.

What has been
the request I've
so unjustly denied?

Oh, yeah, I would like
to hear all of that.

I'd like to be with
someone who thinks

I'm the greatest thing
that ever happened to them.

That without me,
they didn't know
if they could go on.

Well, as soon as you
pry your mother away
from her second husband,

I think you'll have
just what you nee.

I'm going to take a bath.

Why don't you eat something?

It would've been
nice to have had
you there tonight.

[Whispering]
Jesus.

Well,
it's nice to know

they've instituted
a neighborhood watch
program.

I feel much safer.

Yeah, well,

ideally you wouldn't
have found me like
this.

I'd rather not
be remembered
as a sociopath

or a narcoleptic.

So, uh, you're
in love with Alan.

How's that for
a segue, huh?

I'm not in love
with Alan.

God, do I seem
so unable to bring
meaning into my life,

that I have to fall back
on what a man will provide?

Jesus, listen to me.

Am I really this hard?

Is everyone else
just too damn earnest?

It's funny.

Alan leaves
his girlfriend
for you.

And he's probably
slowly going insane

trying to make you
love him the way
Molly did.

It's a nice story
like othello

and the Saul wachler
case.

[Car door opens and closes]

I almost forgot.

I've been carrying
this around for weeks.

I think it's yours.

Oh, yeah.

Gee, um, thank you.

Thanks a lot.

Molly?

Hi.

I haven't
seen you
in class.

Oh, gosh,

you know, I've just
been very busy

with many things.
It's--

didn't you get
my messages?

I did. Yes, I did.

You know what?

I apologize if you think
I've been avoiding you.

I've just been
really very busy
with many things and--

I just wanted
to make sure

you had somewhere
to go on Friday.

Friday?

Yeah, didn't you say
your lease was up

on the 30th?

No, uh-uh.

My lease runs through...

Oh, shit.

You don't have
to worry about that.

I have many people
I can stay with.

Actually I've got
2 apartments

I'm supposed to see
this afternoon.

I thought maybe
you could stay with me

until you get settled.

I don't think
that's a good idea.

Well, just till
you get settled.

I mean, uh, you get
your own place,

pfft, you're out.

That's really--
it's very nice
of you.

But i-I've--

I've got to go
to this--

you're very busy
with many things.

Look, um...

I mean, honestly,
what is it?

If you just want
to sleep with me,

I don't really think

I'm worth
all the effort.

And if
it's not that,

what is it
you can't resist,

my sparkling
personality?

Actually, it's your
high self-esteem.

No, it's--

it's not
an illicit offer.

I just--you could
have the couch.

You know, I'm no fun
at all these days.

I mean, all I do
all day long is
think about Alan.

I'd be staying at
your place with you.

Mm-hmm.

Is that what you want?

Danny.

So, I guess
we're the big losers.

No.

What else is
there to say?

We're the big losers.

I think losers says
enough really.

I don't think
we need to modify
it with big.

You know, this might
sound stupid,

but I used to think
that Amy was your
girlfriend, not Zoey.

Yeah?

Yeah. I never
knew you that well.

And you and Amy always
seemed to be having
such a good time together.

Then Alan said,
"no, his girlfriend's
the other one."

I guess I've had
friendships like that.

Where people thought
we were sleeping together

and we weren't.

Yeah, I've had
friendships
like that.

I've had
relationships
like that.

We all want the ones
who are wrong for US,

don't we?

I mean the good ones,

never even give
them a chance.

Ok, come on,

let's talk about
something else,
all right?

We are 2 relatively
bright people

with a fair amount
of things in common.

Surely we can find
something else
to talk about

than our failing
relationships.
Am I right?

Yes.

You're right.Am I right?

All right,
so let's not
even dwell

on how I never gave
Amy a chance, ok?

Oh, no, but
I didn't say that.

Yeah, you said,
"Amy was the one

"that I never gave
a chance--"

no, I said
that we never give
the good ones a chance,

not Amy.

Oh.

You're thinking about her
though, aren't you?

Yeah, you are.

[Laughs]

I think you're still
a little afraid of me.

No, no, no, no,
mm-mmm.

No, no, no?

Afraid?

Nah, I wouldn't
say that.

No?

Oh, I don't know.

Ok, maybe still
a little.

Well, anything's
an improvement over
that first time

in my apartment
with that mad dash
for the door.

Oh, god!

Remember that pucker?

Come on.

And the shock that
that kind of stuff

can still happen to me.

That drama, I mean.

I thought those days
were over for me.

Maybe not.

Maybe they never end.

Maybe somewhere in Florida
there's an 80-year-old woman

running out of
my father's apartment.

Course she probably
doesn't move as quickly
as you do.

Yeah.

So, you don't mind
me staying with you
this long?

Yeah, I kind of do.

I have this thing
about, um,

sharing my bed with
a beautiful, young,
sweet woman.

Seems kind of
wrong somehow.

Mmm, unnatural.

Unnatural.

Well, that's what
I like best about it.

I don't know what's
taking Tim so long.

I meant to call.

I know it's no excuse.

But I've been
thinking about you.

Daniel, it's fine.

Daniel?

What's that?

You, uh, just
called me Daniel.

You never call me Daniel.

Danny.

Daniel, Danny, ok?

You know,
I get the feeling
that you think

that I'm waiting
for you to apologize
for something.

And it's not
the case.

There's nothing to--

things are good
in my life.

My research and Tim
and there's--

what?

Does that
disappoint you?

That my life is--

that I'm not
angry at you?

Are you disappointed
with that?

Yeah.

Yeah, you are.

No.

Uh, no.

I meant no.

Look, all right,

I might as well
just say it.

Um, and I wish I had
known this months ago.

But...

I think we should
give it a shot with US.

Give it a shot
with US.

Yeah.

Give it--
is that the--

give it a shot
with US?

Is that something
they say from
the school yard?

I mean, I don't hear
from you for months.

And then suddenly--

I know, I know,
I blew it.

Are you so used
to getting
what you want,

that you think
that the feelings
of others

can be disregarded?

I handled it badly.
Tim is my friend.

And I admit it confuses
the situation.

But I am trying
to tell you,

you know...

That I love you.

Jesus, Danny.

Do you--

do you still feel
the same way about me

that you did or...

Hey, can you--

can you look at me?

I mean,
I'm asking you if--

if you still feel--

my life's going well.

I have my research
and Tim.

God, I hate these seats.

My back is just
totally numb.

You know, this is
not a good time,
Danny.

I mean, really
it's just not--

Tim: Hi.

Hey, hey,
Timmy, here,

take this seat.
I'm just--

hmm?

No, thanks.

♪ If I give devotion...

You know,
you're a very
beautiful girl.

Have I ever
told you that?

Yes, 10
minutes ago.

Hmm.

Because if I hadn't,

I would be remiss
certainly.

You're drunk.

Nonsense.

I've seen you drink
3 of those.

Please, I've been drinking
these for 25 years.

It takes a little more
than 3 to get me drunk.

25 years ago
you were 9.

♪ 'Cause you know
what I want it to be... ♪

You know, you, um--

come here.

You got a little something
in your hair.

What?

My god, look at this.

You just have
fantastic hair,

you know that?

Did you get it out?

All gone.

You know,
hair like that,

you got to be careful.

'Cause a lot of guys
are going to try
to get you into bed

just to see what
that hair looks like

bouncing up and down
over your back.

I'm not kidding.

There's a lot of real
scumbags out there.

You know,
your girlfriend's
looking at US.

She is?

Mm-hmm, she is.

The girl you came in
with over there.

I find that
hard to believe.

Is she looking now?

Alan: You see?
Woman: No.

She doesn't mind if
I touch your hair.

She's very good
like that.

Probably thinks
I'm throwing
myself at you.

Just some
undergraduate whore.

She doesn't care.

She doesn't care
what I write.

She doesn't care
what I do.

You know, in fact,

I don't even think
she likes me anymore.

You're joking,
right?

No, no joke.

I disgust her.

See, unfortunately
I also turn her on.

She hates me.

She hates herself
for wanting me.

It's absolutely true.
Word to god.

I'll tell you what.

Let's see if you and I
can't make her come
over here.

No, I don't--

we're going to
talk some more.

She's going to come over.

She's got to win me
away from you.

How does that sound?

It sounds like I lose.

Hmm.

Maybe I should just go.

No, no, wait, wait.

Do you have a boyfriend?

Do you have a...

Sort of.

Only sort of?
What's his name?

Oh, wait, let me guess.

Um...

Alan.

[Laughs]

That's your name.

Then I give up.

It's Jackson.

Jackson his first name?

Mm-hmm.

Mm-mmm.
Black guy?

Why is he only
sort of a boyfriend?

What is he, a faggot?

No.

He's just
kind of a jerk.

Ah, a jerk.

See, but I think--

I think a girl like you
would like a jerk.

No, I don't like jerks.

No, I think you do
like jerks.

Because jerks make you
feel things, right?

Jerks make you want.

And in the bedroom, right?

I mean, no comparison.

Did you ever
fuck a nice boy?

Come on, this is a game.

Did you ever
fuck a nice boy?

Maybe.

Ah, well, you see,
that's exactly it.

You fuck a nice boy.

You get fucked by a jerk.

You lay back
with a nice boy.

You think,
"this guy's going to
love me when I'm 40."

And 20 minutes later,

you're coming
station wagons

and p.T.A. Meetings

and I.R.A. Accounts.

Which is like
not coming at all.

But with a jerk...

You're not sure what
you're allowed to have.

You want him to see it
differently.

You know, not like
you see yourself.

Not like how you know
you are: Weak and ordinary.

But strong, capable.

So, you hold it in.

And it's got to force
its way out.

And when it does--

and when it does
force its way out,

it feels...

How does it feel?

How does it feel?

Good.

No, no, no,
it feels...

Very good.

Very good because
you're getting fucked.

And all your
worldly concerns,

all your ideals are
reduced to this moment,

to this feeling,

to this power that could
swallow up all the boys

in math club.

And you say to your god,
you say,

"thank you, god.

"Thank you for
giving me a pussy.

"Thank you for filling
this hole between my legs.

"Thank you for letting me
feel this.

"Thank you.

"Thank you.

Thank you."

[Whispering]
God.

You want to
do something?

Do I want to
do something?

Of course I want
to do something.

We could
go someplace.

Well, we could.

But what about Jackson?

Who?

Hmm, we don't want
to hurt him like that.

Uh, we see other
people and stuff.

Ah.

Well, you see,

my girlfriend and I,
we don't see other people

or stuff.

That's a shame.

I know it's very inconvenient
at times like this.

Oh, she left.

She's not here
anymore.

What?

Fuck.

Why the fuck didn't
you say something?

I didn't know.
Was I supposed to?

Fuck! Goddamn!
She wouldn't say a word

if I fucked you
right here. Fuck!

Where did she go?

Can we help you?

Yeah, where
did she go?

The girl you were
talking to.

Brad?

What girl,
just before?

Yeah, where'd she go?

I don't know.
She left, I think.

She left?

She left?!

Fuck!

Are you leaving?

Which way
the fuck--fuck!

Jesus fucking
Christ.

What the fuck
are you doing?

Let go of me.

Where are you going?

You just walk out
like that, just leave?

Let go of my arm.

What the fuck is this?
You just walk out?

Yes, I walk out.

But you arrived someplace
with someone,

not just someone,
and you leave them there.

You just leave them
like that.

Hey, don't walk
away from me.

I'm talking to you.

I'm fucking talking.

Will you fucking
listen to me?

Let go of me.I'm talking to you!

Fucking hitting me now?
Is that it?

All of a sudden
you're getting angry?

You're showing emotion
all of a sudden?

Oh, I made you
feel something.

Isn't that
fucking amazing?

You're so fucked up,
incredibly fucked up!

You're the one who
fucking walks out

and doesn't tell someone
they're leaving.
That's fucked up.

You want to talk
about fucked up?

You were going to let me
fuck that girl.

What girl?

Inside, the one
I was talk--

what girl? You saw me
talking to her.

And you walked away.

You were going to
let me fuck her.

You weren't going
to fuck her.

I could've.
She wanted me to.

She wanted me.
And you walked away.

You weren't going
to touch her.

You don't know what
you're talking about.

She wanted me.
She loved wanting me.

And she was fucking wet
when I walked away.

You weren't going to do
anything with her.

You'd have been bored
with her before
you got her dress off.

Look what you fucking
did to my life.

I mean this isn't me.

This isn't me here.

This is your creation.

I used to be somebody else.

I'm a fucking
drunk now, too.

You shouldn't have
left without me.

Tim: So, who can
we fix Danny up with?

Amy?

Hmm?

What friends of yours
can we fix Danny up with?

Tim, it's
unnecessary.

No, we want to return
the favor.

Amy?

I--i don't know.

Well, you see
the problem is

you're too picky.

You know, and all
the women you like

are with much cooler
guys than you.

Thank you,
thank you.

No, no, it's true.

Since you started selling
magazines for a living,

you've got to lower
your standards.

You know, those beautiful,
mysterious writer types

you like so much,

well, they're just not
big on guys who sell swank.

That's where
you're wrong.

No, no, no.

You've got to broaden
your horizons.

Maybe start
considering the aged,

crippled, maybe men.

No, no,
think about it: Guys.

There's an upside,
you see.

Because if it doesn't
work out with a woman,

it's depressing,
tragic even.

But if it doesn't
work out with a guy,

you know, big deal,
it's just Jim.

Jim doesn't like me.

There's no one
to set him up with.

So, it's just stupid.

We must know
somebody--

no, if you actually
knew somebody,
then fine.

But otherwise it's just
chatter, it's nothing.

Tim: What are you getting
so upset about?

♪ Don't ask me
about love...♪

Hey, come on, Timmy,
people are dancing.

Let's dance.

No, you know
I don't like to dance.

Come on,
it'll be great.

Just one.

Why don't you dance
with Danny?

No, Danny
doesn't dance.

I know Danny
doesn't dance.

I dance.

He dances.

No, just forget it, ok?
It was a bad idea.

Why don't you just
go dance with Danny?

No, I don't want to.

Just go dance
with Danny.

That way you
get to dance.

You won't
be mad at me

for not dancing
with you, ok?

Please?

Ok.

Ok.

♪ And I don't know
how to love her ♪

♪ and I don't
know why ♪

♪ I analyze...

Ahem, here.

♪ And that's not bad

♪ but I never find love

♪ I always find...

Am I wrong

or are you not
happy to see me?

♪ I'm ok

♪ for a fantasy...

Have you thought
about what I said?

What I said to you,

have you thought
about it?

You hurt me and, uh--

and I just know
I should be able to,
but--

I, uh--i just think
about it, you know?

And i--

no, I can't see
it happening.

Though I am curious

why I'm so important
to you now.

When 6 months ago,

you could just
take me or leave me.

Well, I could
probably ask you
the same question.

♪ Don't ask me
about love ♪

♪ 'cause i'm
the wrong guy... ♪

My sister's
engaged again.

Third time
in 5 years.

I admire her.

You know,
she never worries

about meeting
the right person.

'Cause every
8 months, she does.

Little matter
it's a different guy
every time.

She believes
things work out.

Amazing quality
that, uh...

That kind of faith...

Or stupidity.

♪ But for the truth
about love ♪

♪ ask him, not me

♪ for this is your mind

♪ and I'm not the one

♪ you must have to hide

May I help you, sir?

Oh, well,
just looking at--

waiting for someone,
actually.

Oh, there she is.
Hi. How you doing?

Good.

It was a hectic day.

You think this is
the right place?

Why don't we get
something to eat?

Maybe we can come back
some other time.

Oh, come on.

I don't know why
you're so resistant

to the idea
of getting
nice clothes.

I mean, all your jackets
smell like cigarettes.

Of course,
if I don't have
my credit card...

[Snickering]

Look, I want you
to look nice.

I do.
You're wonderful.
You really are.

You--you deserve
to have nice things.

I mean, you treat
yourself like...

You'll look nice
in a...

Cute new jacket.

Ok.

Ok.

I--i shaved
this afternoon.

I got that aftershave on
you like. Here.

Hmm?

[Laughs nervously]

What's the matter?

I made a point
to put my credit card
in my wallet

so that in
my checkbook--and i--

you're not gonna
pay for this.

You don't think
I'd let you pay for this

out of your own money,
huh?

Did you ever have
one of those days

where you just
keep forgetting
everything,

and you keep losing
things, and...

What?

Tears?

What?

He wants me back.

Alan?

He said
he wants me back.

You've been seeing him?

He came by the bar
a couple of times.

You know,
he's such a jerk.

He--he goes and has
this fling, and...

It falls apart just
like everyone knew
it would, and...

You know, he thinks
the world revolves
around him,

that he says
what he wants and...

Everybody jumps.

You gonna jump?

Well, sir,

you about ready
for some help now?

Uh, in a minute,
please, all right?

I'm just curious.

Hey, I love you.

I do. I just...

I'm just curious
about what it
would be like

with him again
this time.

It-it's just curiosity,
that's all.

Well, in my experience,

I've learned that, um...

[Sighs]

Love can't compete
with curiosity.

I mean,
sooner or later,

curiosity's gonna win.

Let's go home.

[Birds tweet]

So everything seems
to have worked out for you.

Yeah, I guess.

Come on, now.
You're back with Alan,

you have
a beautiful new dog.

Yeah. Miles was
a birthday present
from Alan.

The dog.

Miles is the dog,
not Alan.

Though I guess
that's open
to debate. Ha ha.

Oh, you had a birthday?

Yeah, last month.

29.

Oh, god.
You're so young.

You've really got
so much time.

Like you're so old.

Ha. No,
but, unfortunately,
I peaked at 14.

I mean, after
the braces came off,

it was all downhill
from there.

Ha ha.

Though I am
back in school.

Oh, that's great.

Yep. Not so bad.

And I've actually decided
to read some of the books
this time, so...

Important.

Yeah. Ha ha.

And--oh, you'll be thrilled
to hear this.

I got a postcard
from Zoey last week.

She's living
in Italy now,

uh, studying
something or other,

probably the effect
a beautiful withholding
woman has

in a mediterranean
climate.

Mmm.

You ever talk
to Amy?

Not for a long time, no.

She broke up with Tim.

Of course,
now he won't talk to me.

And with Amy, uh...

I made many attempts,
you know?

But after everything,
she said she didn't
want a boyfriend.

She just wanted
to be alone.

So we drifted apart,
like we said we wouldn't,

and it's been
about 4 months now,

and, uh...

That's the last
I've seen of her.

Hmm. God, that's great.

I mean, good for her.

Hey, what--

no, I'm sorry.

No, I just--

you know,
I just, um...

I used to think
it would take
some heroic effort

for Alan
to win me back

after what he did,
you know?

But all it took
was him showing up.

It's pretty
pathetic, huh?

No.
Yeah.

No, no, because...

When you love someone,

there are really
only 2 choices:

Being with them or...

Thinking about being
with them.

Not a whole lot
of options, you know?

It's good
to see you.

Yeah, it was great
to see you, too.

Tell Alan
I don't say hi.

Ok.

[Door slams]

Hey, Molly.♪ I'm the one

♪ that taught you
how to sing ♪

Molly?

♪ I showed you the world

mol?♪ not just
the morning rain ♪

Molly?♪ I'm the one

♪ oh, now

♪ that turned you loose

♪ now I'm a coward

♪ oh, what's the use?

♪ My bed ain't right 1

♪ I wonder every night

♪ of where are you

♪ oh, come on home,
baby Lee ♪

♪ oh, I mean it

♪ I'm in need

♪ I need your love

♪ a little more every day

♪ but one more time

♪ I wanna hear you say

♪ I love you

♪ I was the one

♪ that gave you
a taste of life ♪

♪ I was the one

♪ that taught you
wrong from right ♪

♪ I just can't stand it

♪ all the love
you're probably giving ♪

♪ I can't stand it

♪ the way that I'm living

♪ my bed ain't right

♪ I wonder every night

♪ where are you?

♪ Come on home

♪ oh, baby Lee

♪ well, now, baby

♪ I'm in need

♪ I need your love

♪ a little more every day

♪ one more time

♪ I wanna hear you say

♪ I love you

♪ I need you

♪ I adore you

♪ I want you

♪ oh, baby Lee

♪ oh, come on home,
right today ♪

♪ I need your love

♪ in every way

♪ whoa, baby Lee

♪ you're my baby

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Shit.

Shit, shit, shit, shit,

shit, shit, shit.

Shit.

Oh, shit.
Don't call the cops.

Just don't, uh,
don't call the cops.

I, uh...

Say it wasn't me.
I was, uh...

I was out of town.

My cousin was staying here.

Oh, shit.

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