Original subtitles

[breathing heavily]

[kissing]

All right, I...

[chuckles] I gotta go.

I have to go hang more dicks on the wall...

for my cousin's bachelorette party.

I gotta go.

Ciao.

[door shuts]

[door opens]

[footsteps]

[dog barking at a distance]

[cell phone ringing]

Hello?

[Jenny] Brianna, where are you?

I'm heading back now, Jenny.

[Jenny] Are you drunk?

-No! -[Jenny] Yes, you are.

[Jenny] Don't ruin this weekend for Rochelle.

I won't. I won't. Chill.

Oh, God.

Such a biatch.

Argh.

[indistinct whispering]

Who is that?

[indistinct whispering]

[panting]

[indistinct whispering]

[panting]

Oh!

[groans]

[groans]

[crying]

[gate rattles]

[groans]

[crying]

[banging on gate]

[crying] Help.

[man laughing]

-No! -[banging on gate]

[man laughing]

Please!

Who are you?

Leave me alone.

Please, help!

[groans]

[crying]

[growling]

[screaming]

♪ I got a car and I got a road ♪

♪ Forget it all and just let it go ♪

♪ Put your hand inside of mine ♪

♪ If it will be all right... ♪

I think it's done.

-What? -Your drink.

Yeah, sorry.

[sighs]

Oh, my God, no more work!

-Put that away. -Hey, oh, my God.

-No more. -Come on.

I just have one last work thing, okay?

I think the assistant to the assistant manager

is gonna survive without you,

-for one week. -Hey, I am executive assistant

to the CEO of one of the largest firms in Pittsburgh.

Your firm connects people to plumbers.

It's a job. It pays the bills.

Something until I figure out what I want to do.

[train chugging]

[sighs softly]

-Hm. -I hope you're daydreaming about

all the hot hookups you're gonna have

-with beautiful Italian men. -Ew, Blake.

-Maybe you are. [laughs] -Yeah, I am.

All day, every day.

-Do you think Rochelle-- -No.

How do you know what I was gonna say?

Because I know the look on your face.

You promised we weren't gonna talk about the thing.

I didn't talk about the thing the entire plane right here.

Because we've talked the thing to death.

Please.

I really have to talk about the thing.

[sighs]

Why is this coming up now?

You were fine at the engagement party.

You're fine at all the other pre-wedding shit.

Your smiling face is plastered all over social media.

Why is this happening now?

Because it's actually happening.

I'm here. I'm in Italy.

Yes! So have some fun!

I can't.

Well, then you should have said no...

-to all of it-- -I should have

said something two years ago. But I--

But you didn't, so what can you do now?

That's what I'm trying to figure out.

Okay, look.

I think what Rochelle did was really shitty.

Thank you.

And it's not just what she did. It's how she's changed.

How our friendship has changed.

Yeah.

Maybe it's fame. Maybe it's... Richard.

Well, you want to talk shit about Richard, count me in.

That guy gives me trust fund date rape vibes.

-Always has. -Always.

I never see her anymore.

Unless it's some perfectly Instagrammable

crafted event, which I avoid like plague.

Hm.

I mean, that's just life.

Hey, you want to know what I think?

Hm.

I think you're in a rut.

Okay. [chuckles]

You know why?

Too much work.

Steamy British romance shows and takeouts.

Sometimes, it's a steamy British romance novel.

You're literally a week away from getting a cat.

I'm not that desperate.

I don't want a cat. I want...

-a change. -Hmm.

Want an adventure.

You're literally on one right now.

Oh, my God. Look. Okay, look.

-Look out the window. -Hmm.

You want a change?

You want to find yourself?

Start right here.

See how beautiful that is?

What's done is done. Just let it go.

I want you to have fun 'cause I love you so much.

'Cause if your moping cockblocks me, I swear I will kill you.

[Kelsey laughs] Okay.

["Girls With Attitude" playing]

♪ All the guys in the world like his kiss with me ♪

♪ Na na na ♪

♪ And you know... ♪

Just wish we could...

drop our shit off and take a shower.

Yeah, well, that's what you get for not adhering

-to the queen's agenda. -[sighs]

Did Her Majesty say when she was gonna be here?

I don't know, but I need, like, three drinks.

Oh, my God!

[all cheering]

-Oh, I'm so excited. -Mwah.

It's the terrible trio together again.

Maybe make it a Fab four.

Blake, Kelsey, remember Jenny?

[Blake] How could we forget the Jenny

from the six pre-wedding meetings and the other

27 meetings leading up to your nuptial?

-Hi, Jenny. -Nice to see you both again.

I thought I sent over the itinerary and wardrobe list,

but maybe I forgot.

Oh, no, no, you didn't. I, uh...

I thought we would have time to go to the B&B

and take shower and leave our stuff.

I'm so sorry. This won't happen again.

It's fine. We just won't post the pics with Kelsey.

[laughs]

Ow! Babe.

Now I'm here. I guess the gang's all back together.

Yeah, totally, like, in a weirder way, but yeah.

And GNT, as per usual.

-Thanks. -You think I forgot your order?

No, that's the only thing you haven't forgotten.

[chuckles]

[slurps, sighs]

Uh, where's Brianna?

Oh, my God, Crazy Brianna's here. I totally forgot.

Remember that time sophomore year,

she drank all that jungle juice

-and pissed herself? -And pissed herself?

Yeah, she came early to set up,

but apparently there was too much for her.

She's just pulling a Brianna.

She really let us down.

She did put in a lot of work.

I know that the decorations weren't really on brand,

but if she needs to blow off some steam

with whoever she's hooking up with, it is what it is, right?

[chuckles] You're a generous God.

Okay. Um, now that we're all here,

I think it's time for the groom to go on his very way.

-I'll miss you. -I know.

I'd rather stay with you girls.

All right, ladies.

Blake, don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Don't worry, none of us are into ketamine, so...

[chuckles]

[Blake] Yikes. Trouble in paradise.

He doesn't deserve her.

Don't forget our hashtags, okay? Rich and Roche.

Rich and Roche in Rome. Rich wrangles Roche.

-Yeah. -Hashtag kill me.

Hashtag you're in a Mediterranean

paradise, so lighten up.

Hey!

So where is the bachelor party?

He's going to meet his boys on the other side of the island

and then we'll meet up in a few days

just before the big day in Rome.

Oh, my God. Speaking of boys.

Okay, wait, before we go in the water, can we get a picture?

[whispers] Fine.

Cee Cee, do you mind, just since you're not

in the right beach wear. Sorry. You know how it is.

There's just sponsors for everything.

[laughs] Yeah, not at all.

Smile.

And...

-[camera clicks] -Thanks, girl.

Okay, later.

Um... Do you mind just staying with our stuff?

Just 'cause I would hate for it to.

-Yep. Well, of course. -Thanks.

[hip-hop music in the background]

[slurping]

[slurps]

You're here.

Make the most of it.

[seagull squeals]

Uh, hey, guys, I'm gonna go

explore the town a little bit, okay?

Okay. Have fun.

-[whispers] Okay. -Keep your phone on you.

[church bell tolling]

[eerie whisper] Kelsey.

[eerie whisper] Come to me.

[sniffs]

[gasps] Ai!

[gasps]

Shit, I'm sorry.

I-I don't speak Italian.

Oh, missing?

-Missing. -I'm sorry, I haven't seen her.

God bless.

[machine whirring]

Sorry, I was-I was just wondering about the necklace.

Ah, yes.

So sorry, miss.

Let me get that for you.

It's so beautiful.

It's very old, very ancient.

The red paint is gorgeous.

The paint is said to be blood.

The blood of a martyr.

That's intense. [chuckles]

Really?

We have a legend in this town.

Long ago...

we were plagued with a terrible menace.

A spider called Arja.

A hypnotic spider.

[chuckles] I, uh, I didn't catch that.

-Could you say it in English? -A hypnotic spider.

They hypnotize their prey,

lure and control their mates.

A dark,

primal, manipulative love...

that only ends in death.

[chuckles softly]

Should I be worried about these

spiders lurking around?

They're long gone from this island.

But you should take this. Just in case.

It's said to protect against the Arja.

The martyr's blood weakens the creature.

I have an interest in things that protect against evil.

I... I-I'm sorry. I really can't afford this.

But thank you. I love a good urban legend.

Please...

I insist.

Thank you.

You don't sound Italian, but you look so very familiar.

Where are you from?

America.

You're sure you're not from here?

What about your people?

Uh, Pittsburgh.

I mean, do any Americans really know where they're from?

So, I could be Italian.

Yeah...

-could be. -[chuckles]

Could be.

-[cell phone ringing] -Thank you again.

Oh, sorry.

-Yeah. Hey. -[Blake] Where are you?

-Uh, I'm at this store. -Benedictum Mysterium.

-Benedictum Mysterium. Hey. -Oh, hey.

I thought you took what I said too seriously

and pulled a Brianna or something?

No, but you're just flirting with the locals.

-But, you know, that's my job. -Is this your boyfriend?

Oh, no. [laughs]

Hi.

Blake.

All right.

-Bye. -I'm gonna call you.

-Stop it. -[chuckles]

Okay, we have to go or Lord Jenny

and Bridezilla are literally gonna kill us.

-Did you get his number? -Of course, I got his number.

[Kelsey screams in joy] He was so cute.

Walking distance, my ass.

Sorry we didn't account for all the luggage.

Well, maybe if we could have dropped it off

before we came here.

[sighs] Well, maybe

if you have booked the flight I recommended.

Well, maybe some of us have lives

that don't revolve around Rochelle.

This weekend all your lives

revolve around me, baby.

-Holy shit! -Holy shit!

I know, right? And it's all thanks to Jenny.

This was all her idea. Best maid of honor ever.

Okay, this is a little better

than the karaoke tea party

we dreamt up when we were 12.

[Jenny] It's nothing, really.

When the owner reached out about

having you stay here for your bachelorette,

it was like the stars aligned.

This isn't even the best part. Come on, follow me.

[door creaks open]

Ah, what?

[indistinct dialogues]

[door unlocks]

[Blake] Oh, my God.

[Blake laughs]

"The last wiener to go in between her."

Oh, you poor thing.

I told Brianna to keep it classy.

Oh, that was never gonna happen with Bangarang Brianna.

Speaking of, anyone heard from her?

[laughs] Remember the time--

[Kelsey] No, no, no, no, don't remind me.

I mean, Jesus, it was just as embarrassing for me.

Go on, I want to hear.

That's just a stupid college story.

Who cares? Isn't it perfect here?

The only thing is that

there's no cell service.

Just one spot right up at the top of the stairs.

All right, so your rooms have your names on the doors.

Follow me, unpack your stuff,

reference your wardrobe itineraries

for tonight's attire.

And then back here for lux looks and ups.

Let's go.

[Blake chuckles]

[laughs]

[whispers] Oh, my God.

[laughs]

[door creaks open]

[door creaks]

-Stop snooping! -Oh, my God!

-[laughing] -You asshole.

What the fuck happened in here?

It's like a spirit Halloween exploded.

Uh, maybe Brianna's going through a goth phase.

Do you think she's all right, she didn't take

any of her stuff.

Yeah, she's fine.

I bet she met some hot rich dude

with a bunch of designer drugs.

See you in a bit.

[door creaks open]

[wardrobe unlocks]

[creaks open]

[eerie indistinct whispering]

She looks like you.

You'd better start getting ready.

-Don't want to be late. -I, I will.

Jenny, um...

I-I'm sorry about earlier. I really...

I didn't mean to ruin anything.

I know.

I'm sorry too.

Just want it all to be perfect

for Rochelle.

See you down there.

[Kelsey] See you.

[phone line ringing]

[Richard on voicemail] Hey, this is Richard.

I never check these, so shoot me a text.

Asshole.

[cell phone chimes]

Finally.

[Jenny] How did the bride and groom meet?

I know, when Kelsey was dating him.

[mimics squeaking]

They broke up, and then we went for it,

and obviously things worked out.

Can you not bring up old drama?

Next question.

Where was the bride born?

At St. Joseph's Hospital.

Whoo!

-Wow! -Oh, my God!

Ow.

[Jenny] I'm glad you wore your pink,

but the jacket has to go.

-It's giving millennial. -Just a quick fix.

Wow.

Chelle, you look incredible.

Oh, thank you. My stylist, Talia, picked it out for me.

You haven't called me Chelle in years.

Okay. [clears throat]

Let's get you fixed up.

There we go.

Now it's reading sexy

and not old lady.

Lose the necklace.

-Come on. I got it today. -Good call.

Chic and antique isn't really the vibe right now,

but I have something perfect for you.

Ladies, come on.

To you, my dear. [glasses clink]

♪ Not the type to go around playing favorites ♪

♪ But every time you're gone you know I crave ya ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ When I'm with you I'm like ♪

♪ Bada Boom Bada Bing ♪

♪ I don't got no shame ♪

♪ I'll shout it out ♪

♪ I'm obsessed I'm thinking yes ♪

♪ And Oh I never let you go 'cause you the best ♪

♪ Oh I'm obsessed Forget the rest ♪

♪ I like you more and more and more the more I get ♪

♪ Ayi-ayi-ayi ♪

♪ I'm obsessed ♪

Oh! [laughing]

♪ I'm kinda obsessed ♪

Now what? I got a text from Brianna earlier

saying to come meet her at a club, is that what we're doing?

I don't know about the club, we are classy.

We can do the classy thing on the third marriage.

For the first one, let's lean into the penis party.

She did say that Victor has a table and bottle service for us.

If he's vouching for it...

-Oh, who's Victor? -Who's Victor?

Victor is the owner of this villa.

Mm-hmm.

Let's go.

The only thing is,

no posting anything

until Jenny and I approve, okay?

♪ Won't stop but I can't deny ♪

♪ I can definitely ♪

♪ I can handle it ♪

♪ And... ♪

Hey, any objection if I invite that cute boy I met earlier?

-No. -Okay, good,

'cause I already did.

-Is it Dario? -Yes, it's Dario.

Now, I want you to get your ass in there

-and get your slut. -Okay.

[electronic music playing]

[both laughing]

-Place is kinda dead. -Could be that we're early?

-Shall we go somewhere else? -No.

This means we on the dance floor.

-Yeah. -Whoo!

Oh, my God, he actually came.

Hey!

This is incredible.

I'm glad you came.

Maybe a few drinks first.

Your friend.

Oh, yeah, Kelsey?

She's not wearing her necklace?

No, no, it didn't-it didn't go with the fit.

[music gets louder]

I'm Victor.

I'm Kelsey.

[Rochelle] Kelsey!

[electronic music playing]

-Come, come on! Let's go. -No, I'm-I'm good!

Please, this guy's giving me the creeps.

No, really, I'm good.

[Kelsey] So you own a villa, a club,

and you can dance.

Anything you can't do?

-I'm a terrible cook. -[chuckles]

Well you make up for it on the dance floor.

No, you're only as good as your partner.

I don't usually dance like that with strangers.

I'm glad to hear I'm the exception.

You can come in.

Get me my drink.

Gin tonic.

How did you know?

I strive to know all my guests desires.

What about yours?

You look so familiar.

Like someone I used to know.

I keep hearing that today.

-Where are you from? -Uh, Pitts-

Pennsylvania.

Well, I've never been to Pennsylvania.

Should I visit?

Um... [chuckles]

-Are you from here? -Yes.

But I've been away for a long time.

I just came back home.

It feels good to be home.

And here with you.

Where did you go?

All over.

France, South America,

New Orleans, Japan.

Where was your favorite place?

Might sound cliche...

but here.

-Home. -Hmm.

[Victor] I get so homesick.

I wanted to come back.

Settle down.

-Sounds lame, right? -No.

I've always wanted to travel.

Well, you're here now.

The beginning of something new, I hope.

A step in the direction of the person I hope to become.

Well, maybe it's not you who needs to change...

maybe it's your world.

Well, you don't know me.

I feel like I do.

I think you're...

intriguing.

-Intriguing? -Mm-hmm.

I'm just Kelsey.

Well, I don't think just Kelsey can dance like that.

Just Kelsey doesn't light up a room like you do.

You're sure we've not met before?

It's, your face is...

so familiar to me.

Maybe in a dream?

[Jenny] We're going now.

Sorry, Kelsey, but the bride wants to leave.

You must be Ginevra.

Hi, Victor, its so nice

to see you in person, finally.

We can't thank you enough for the evening,

but the bride is ready to go.

Come on, let's go!

You could stay.

I'll get you home safely.

No, I, I-I really shouldn't.

I mean, it's her night after all.

Actually,

maybe you can come with us,

bring your dancers.

Keep the party going.

Consider it done.

I'll meet you there.

Let's find Blake.

[Rochelle groans]

I cannot believe that you invited people back on my night.

I invited the guy who owns the villa. What's the big deal?

It's my bachelorette.

-I paid for you to be here. -Don't throw that in my face.

You shouldn't have offered.

-Who are you? -What does that mean?

Who are you, Roche? I mean, what is this?

You could have been anything, done anything.

Is this what Richard wanted you to be?

Oh, can we not right now?

I can't with your jealousy.

This is not about my jealousy, it's about yours.

Someone actually wanted me instead of you

and you can't stand that.

It is not my fault that Richard chose me over you.

Maybe we just go inside and put on--

Sloppy seconds isn't really the vibe, Roche.

Did you take him just to prove that you could?

Or did you always want to keep me in your shadow?

Is that what you think of me?

I love him, Kelsey.

And I didn't take him from you. He dumped you!

He was cheating on me, and you didn't believe me.

And then you snatched him up like a spider with a fly?

[chuckles]

All you ever did was complain

about how awful he was to you, and even then,

you still were never going to leave. And why Kelsey?

I think we all know. Kelsey has no backbone!

Just lets people walk all over her.

We brought wine!

Maybe it will lighten the mood?

Or maybe tonight is not a good night?

Thank you, Victor that's very considerate.

No, tonight's perfect.

[Victor] It would feel rude...

not be properly invited in.

It's your house.

Ginevra...

I think you signed the rental agreement.

Seems only right you should do the honors.

Yeah, fine. Whatever.

Please, Victor. Come in.

[door opens]

Blake.

Are you coming?

Yeah, I'll-I'll be in a second.

[dogs barking at a distance]

[door creaks shut]

-Oh! -Hey! Sorry.

-Geez. -I'm late.

I had some things to pick up.

Where is everyone?

-Inside. -Oh.

You let Victor in?

Yeah? Why?

Just curious.

Do you know Victor?

Oh, everybody in this town knows Victor. [chuckles]

So, what's in the bag?

Anything fun?

I guess you'll just have to wait to find out.

Oh.

Okay. You wanna go inside?

A-actually, I was thinking we could do

some private exploring of our own?

Okay. Good.

It's kinda crazy in there like a Vanderpump Rules reunion show,

-you know what I mean? -Let's go.

I refuse to let the bride-to-be

not have a good time.

So...

Shall we start with some wine?

To ever-lasting love.

Let's set the mood.

-[snaps] -Ooh! [chuckles]

♪ I feel it in the air ♪

♪ Oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah ♪

♪ You too does everywhere ♪

♪ Oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah ♪

♪ I feel the energy so ♪

♪ Go creepy soul I'm not your... ♪

-Pin the junk on the hunk? -[Kelsey chuckles]

I think we can make it

a little bit more interesting.

[Kelsey] Oh, really?

You know what to do.

-[Jenny] Ooh. - [chuckles]

[both scream]

[Jenny laughs]

Oh, hey.

-Oh, my God. Oh, my God. -Ooh.

[laughs]

[gate creaks open]

-Follow me. -Are you serious?

This is giving me murder vibes.

And you didn't seem like the murdering kind of guy

but now I'm not so sure.

Do you trust me?

No.

Maybe you shouldn't.

But then...

are you sure will you be able to seize this moment again?

Maybe I should take my own advice.

Come on.

[sighs]

We're gonna have fun.

[dogs barking at a distance]

[whispers] Please don't end up like Cabo.

[Victor] Ladies. Get your junk...

and go get your hunk.

[girls laughing]

Come with me.

You had to take me down the creepiest tunnel ever?

Sorry, I didn't wanna go into the villa.

Have Victor see me and tip him off.

Tip him off to what?

Dario.

Dario, where are we? What are we doing?

I have to find something.

[humming]

Victor?

[echoing] Victor?

[Victor whispers] Over here.

Victor?

[Victor whispers] Turn around.

[gasps]

[Rochelle laughing]

Got you.

Boo!

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

Okay, now I'm really getting murder vibes

and I wanted fun and sexy vibes, not this!

Dario, where are we?

What-what the hell are we doing?

Okay, you know what? It was really lovely to meet you,

but I'm good. I'm gonna go. Okay?

Hey, hey.

I've been wanting to do that all night.

Listen...

you and your friends are in great danger.

Victor isn't who you think he is.

♪ I am not a dream ♪

♪ But I got inside your head now ♪

♪ I can make you feel ♪

♪ Are you ready to assist now ♪

♪ Colder than ice ♪

♪ Hotter than fire ♪

♪ I light up your world ♪

♪ Feel my fire ♪

♪ A smothering burn ♪

♪ Fire! ♪

♪ Burn burning down ♪

♪ Fire ♪

♪ A smothering burn ♪

♪ I'll burn you down ♪

I'm sorry.

This isn't really my thing.

It's not been a great night.

Cee Cee? Hi.

Hey, I'm sorry about earlier.

I think we just have some stuff to work through still.

Yeah, we do.

I'm not your doormat.

I know.

And... I'm sorry if I ever made you

feel that way.

I think I just got lost in Richard

and the influencer shit and--

Lost?

You can't just fucking walk all over me.

I know.

Look, I-I am really sorry, Cee Cee.

I wanted this for so long.

-Rochelle? -Ssh!

I wanted this too.

I've wanted you for so long.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, no, please.

I only want her.

I promise when we get home, things will change.

Can we just try to get through tonight?

Ow! Kelsey, what the fuck?

I don't have time to wait. Things have to change now.

But you're hurting me.

[mimics Rochelle] "You're hurting me. You're hurting me."

Like you hurt me, huh?

You think you're fooling anyone?

I know that deep inside

you are still that pathetic,

lonely insecure little six year old girl that

my mom forced me to play with.

Why are you being so mean?

[laughs]

[pants]

I live to make you happy. [chuckles]

You live to make me happy?

Mm-hmm.

[laughing]

Oh.

That's so pathetic.

Get out of my life.

That's what would make me happy.

In what world would you think that I would want you?

This can't be real. This can't be real.

So who is he?

And what the hell is this place?

[Dario] It's his lair.

Where he sleeps.

Gross. In there?

Yes. That's his coffin.

Must be traditional, like that.

[Blake] Coffin? Like Dracula?

Yeah, he's like Dracula, except real.

Dracula was real--

Are you saying he's a fucking vampire?

[Dario] A very old, very ancient vampire.

Creature of the night. A beast most foul.

[breathing heavily]

[snarling]

You and Richard deserve each other.

[grunts]

[groans]

[crying]

This can't be real! This can't be real!

[squelching]

[gasps]

This is very real.

You shouldn't have let me in.

[groans and cries]

[gasping]

[chocking]

[crying] Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

[eerie whispers]

[whimpering]

[gasps]

Those two men with him aren't just dancers at his club.

They're minions.

They're compelled to do whatever he asks.

[Blake] Okay. How does he control them?

[Dario] He snares them with his mind.

Uses a glamour on them.

They can hear him whispering to them.

And he uses his blood.

What? He goes around having people drink his blood?

Did you drink anything he's offered you?

-No. -Good.

Oh, shit. He brought wine.

-Is there blood in the wine? -For sure.

Hey, my friends might've drank that. I gotta go--

Whoa! Please wait!

I'm looking for something that'll help them.

It's a powerful weapon.

It protects against the vampire spell

and can weaken him greatly.

Weaken him enough to kill him.

Okay. What is it?

Blood.

Oh, come on. More blood?

What did you say?

You're the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.

How did I end up here... with you?

Did that live up to one of your British romance novels?

[laughs] How do you know I like that?

I could guess.

I could be looking at that smile for a lifetime.

And it's gone.

[sighs] I'm embarrassed you saw that fight

between Rochelle and I.

-You must think I'm spineless. -Not at all.

I think you're kind.

You valued your friend's happiness more than your own.

That's selfless.

That's love.

Have you ever been in love?

Once.

Anabella.

She was beautiful

and smart, and brave

like you.

What happened?

Tragedy.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to pry. I just...

I wanna know everything there is to know about you.

Yet I feel like I've known you my entire life.

That's because we are bonded.

By the stars. By fate.

By blood.

I feel... reckless.

Like I could throw it all away for someone.

No, but you would have to throw away nothing...

You would want for nothing.

With you by my side, we could conquer the world.

So you feel the same? I'm not crazy.

Of course I do.

I've been searching for you for many lifetimes.

And I want to share all lifetimes with you.

I do too.

So will you stay with me here?

Stay by my side forever?

As my bride.

Yes.

Yes.

-I should go tell the others. -Why?

They ignore you all the time.

Make you feel second to them.

You don't need to check on them.

Stay here.

They don't need you.

Oh, I need you.

[man laughing]

[woman laughing]

[gasps]

[screaming] Oh, my God!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. [whimpering]

[man laughing]

Aah!

[screams]

[Dario] It's the blood of a martyr.

A great soul who sacrificed himself.

Who the fuck are you? How do you know all this shit?

I come from a long line of protectors.

We are the sacred knights of the realm.

Time turned what we do to myth.

Myth became legend.

But my family never stopped believing.

We never forgot the terror of these demons of the night.

You're dramatic. I'm here for it.

My family knew, Victor and his horrible bride

would return one day to his villa.

Wait, I'm sorry. Did you say his horrible bride?

Yeah, she looked eerily, like your friend Kelsey.

It's why I gave her the necklace. To protect her.

I believe Victor would try to turn her. Make her like him.

Okay, so, looking for a weapon that would kill him [snaps]

that your knights of calamari left behind?

Yes. One of my ancestors who died trying to kill Victor.

He was a...

And he's said to have a vial of martyr's blood on him.

Jeez.

Okay, so...

we're looking for a corpse with a vial of blood. Groovy.

Wait, why wouldn't Victor have gotten rid of the body?

Don't think housekeeping is high on his list.

I know, but you could just give him the old stabby-stab

with a stake. Why do you need the martyr's blood?

The stake alone might not be powerful enough.

And good luck getting close enough to use it.

It's got to be both the stabby-stabby and the blood.

Is this like your vampire hunter

self help guidebook or something like that?

Do you always ask so many questions

when you're in grave danger?

[sighs] Nothing.

[Richard] Hey, babe. Thought we said no contact until--

[Rochelle] Fuck that, Richard, I need you to listen

to me right now.

I'm on some kind of a bad trip.

-[Richard] What'd you take? -Nothing.

Wine? I don't know. I think it was laced with something.

I don't know what's real and what's not.

I think Jenny is dead. I need you to come here.

[Richard] I don't know, babe.

I mean, shouldn't y'all like call the cops?

The cops? That would be a pure nightmare.

Do you know how many followers I would lose?

I need you to come here right now.

[Richard] It's kind of late. [man] Whoo!

[Richard yawning]

Richard.

If you don't come, I will post to my 123 million followers

about your porn induced erectile dysfunction.

[Richard] God. Okay, fine.

[sighs]

Blake, I found it.

Hurry up.

Hurry up.

[grunts]

[gasps and pants]

It's all right. It was only a dream.

I-I have to go.

I know her.

Why do you have Brianna's phone?

[gasps]

You're stronger than you look.

I think, you might need more convincing.

You never saw the form.

-But my friends? -You have no friends.

They don't care about you.

Only I care about you.

This is only a dream.

It was only a dream.

You know nothing but my love.

I know nothing but your love.

Now close your eyes.

Sorry, man.

You'll be safe down here.

Watch. All right?

[breathing heavily]

[key tapping]

[door creaking]

Victor?

Victor, where are you?

Oh. Thank God, you're okay.

[sighs] We have to get out of here.

There's something really wrong. It's Victor.

He did something to me. He did something to all of us.

Not to me.

The most amazing things have been happening.

Well, I get it now. Your love for Richard.

I'm sorry I didn't before, but...

No. No, no. You were right.

Richard is a shithead.

Richard is your true love.

And Victor is mine.

Shit! Now, listen to me.

[whispering] We have to get out of here.

No.

I have to get ready for Victor.

Kelsey.

Shit! Kelsey!

What the hell?

I can't get out!

-Aah! Ah! -Stop! Please! Ssh! Ssh!

I'm Dario. Blake's friend. I'm here to help.

I know what Victor is and how to stop him.

-Where's Blake? -He's in a safe place.

Don't worry. Where's Kelsey?

I think this has all been done to make her

Victor's vampire bride.

"Vampire bride?"

What the hell is this, a Twilight novel?

Rochelle, please. There's very little time.

[sighs] Okay.

She said that she's...

getting ready, waiting for Victor.

She's not herself, though. He's controlling her somehow.

Find her necklace. The one I gave her.

-You know it? -I think so.

-You know where to find it? -Yeah.

It'll break the spell if I can't kill Victor first.

Go! Go now.

[Victor laughing]

Did I hear you say you'd kill me first?

And you are?

I'm Dario Benedetti

of the Sacred Knights.

Oh, yes.

You silly sacred knights.

I think I killed your father

and his father.

And probably his father before him.

And now...

I'll kill you.

[snaps fingers]

[thuds]

Yaa!

Oh, thank God!

[gasps]

[groans]

[sighs]

Oh, this is way too much like Cabo.

Oh.

You've been trained well.

It'll be a little sad to kill you.

You've worked so hard.

For too long you have plagued our village.

For too long you have torn families apart.

[grunts]

For too long you have cast a shadow all over.

[grunts]

[grunts and groans]

Do you think you can hurt me with that little stake?

Not only a stake.

[grunts]

[grunts]

[screaming]

Babe?

Who the hell are you guys?

She said no strippers.

Argh!

[Richard groans]

[yelling]

[groans]

[grunting]

[clanks]

[Dario pants]

You'll never stop us.

The Sacri will live.

We will hunt you to the end of your miserable life.

You hunters,

you always talk too much.

Your sacred line of knights

ends with you.

[Dario grunts]

[bones crunch]

[thuds]

It is time.

[inhales]

[Rochelle gasps]

[Rochelle] Oh, Blake. Oh, my God!

[Rochelle crying]

Come on, we have to get Kelsey the necklace,

then we have to get the hell out of here.

Come on.

What do we do?

Cee Cee?

Cee Cee, wait.

[Kelsey] Oh, my God!

[both chuckling]

Hi!

The terrible trio is having a terrible night.

[both chuckle]

Brianna.

And Jenny.

And Dario.

-I have to stop him. -Stop him? No.

We have to get the fuck out of here.

If I don't stop him, he'll follow me until I'm his.

You should go.

I'm the one that got us into this.

No. We're in this together.

All day, every day.

Okay. What kills him?

Stake? Silver? Sunlight?

Blood. Martyr's blood.

And a stake through the heart.

[Kelsey] Martyr's blood for protection.

-It has to be me. -[Both] No.

I'm the only one that can get close enough to him.

I'll sacrifice myself.

Weaken him with my blood, then get him with a stake.

If I fail, it'll be easier for you to finish him off.

How are you gonna get him to turn on you?

I'll call him out for what he really is.

Men, living or undead hate that.

[chuckles]

Now all we have to do is find

this blood sucking bastard.

I know where he is.

[piano playing]

We got him.

Slay queens.

Go. Go!

So, are you going to kill Victor?

Yeah. Got something to say about it?

Good. I hate vampires.

-Wait. -Come on.

-Do you trust me? -Yeah.

I know you've been following my lead our entire lives

and I'm sorry about that.

I'm sorry about everything.

I need you to follow my lead one more time.

What do you mean?

[grunts]

Rochelle, no!

This time you play the bride.

I'll play the bridesmaid.

[rattling]

Conspiring bitches

[Rochelle] Here comes the bride!

[Victor] Where is my Kelsey?

[Rochelle] Why have her when you could have me?

Where is she?!

[Kelsey] I'm here, my love.

Don't make me hurt you.

My bride wouldn't want that and I live to make her happy.

Is that why you have to basically drug her

with your blood to get her to love you.

Rochelle, don't do this.

She's so much more than you give her credit for.

You're half of the woman she is.

I should be thanking you, though.

You brought us together.

Oh, yeah? How'd I do that?

[Victor] Your incessant,

self-absorbed pose led me to her.

When I saw her in your feed, I knew she was my bride, reborn.

You don't want Kelsey, Victor.

Pick me.

I'm used to controlling, manipulative men.

I'll do whatever you tell me.

Pick me, Victor.

I'm the obvious choice.

I already stole from Kelsey before.

Why not do it again?

[gasping]

[thuds]

You're nothing compared to her.

Don't hurt her.

You don't give orders to me.

She's better than you will ever be.

She's better than both of us.

[grunts]

[grunts and groans]

Her blood wasn't worth drinking.

[Kelsey crying]

It's all for you, my love.

[Kelsey crying]

[Kelsey grunts]

[groans]

[spits]

[screaming]

[grunts and groans]

Our blood belongs together.

We belong together.

You belong in Hell.

[both grunting]

[squelch]

[stake clanks]

[Kelsey sobbing]

[birds chirping]

[waves crashing]

[Kelsey] I can't believe Carlo just left.

Yeah. Like that big piece of shit, Richard.

Right? I mean, he could have at least called the cops for us.

None of the paramedics thought the deaths were strange.

They just mark them all as accidents.

Maybe Dario and his family weren't the only believers.

You know, other villagers that kept the legend alive.

I think you're right.

[Blake] Even after everything...

it's still better than Cabo.

[Kelsey chuckles]

[Blake] Well...

I guess we should get a move on

if we want to make our flight.

Oh, you're staying, aren't you?

I think I'm more than an assistant to the assistant.

You were always more than that.

I'm gonna pick up where Dario left off.

Maybe find more of those sacred knights.

-You sure this is what you want? -Yes, I am.

I wanted an adventure, and now our friends are dead.

I mean... I wanna help people.

Oh, my God.

My girl's gonna be a badass,

-vampire slaying knight? -[chuckling]

I don't know how to explain it, but I can feel that

there are more vampires around.

I'm gonna miss you.

I'm gonna miss you too.

What are you gonna do? Where are you gonna live?

Well, technically, I'm Victor's wife.

And there was no prenup.

[gasps and pants]

[gasps]

[knock on door]

[door creaking]

[Richard] What are you doing here?

Hey, Richard.

Want to invite me in?

For old time's sake?

[Richard] Come in.

[lock clicks]

You shouldn't have come here.

You shouldn't have let me in.