Original subtitles

Leo, you're in here the same time every day.

You don't have the flu or a stomach ache...

Or a rash.

The only thing making you sick is geometry.

Now go back to class.

Fine. Same time tomorrow?

Go!

Hey, how's the mood in there?

You better have a rash she can see.

-Hi, mom. -Hey, honey.

Aren't you supposed to be at the tennis tryouts?

Mom...

listen...

I know how much you appreciate honesty,

and I respect you too much to tell you some dumb story,

so here's the truth.

I was in chemistry class, a beaker broke,

and now I think I have malaria of the prostate.

You know, there's only one cure for that

Tennis!

I just don't want to play.

Honey, you are so good at it,

and every year the team begs you to come back.

Besides, the new coach is supposed to be terrific.

But I'm so busy with student council and school,

and I finally got my nails the way I want them.

Bridget;

Tennis could help you get into a good college.

Not that the universities won't be impressed

with your groundbreaking work

in the field of malarial prostates.

Fine, I'll try it.

But can you just check out this rash?

Go!

So, how do I look?

Incredible, intimidating, awesome.

No, I meant my skirt.

It's going to be so great having you on the team this year.

Oh, thanks, but I'm only here for one day

'cause I promised my mom I'd try out, and then I'm done.

We'll have fun.

And we have a shot at the championship with this new coach.

I don't' care about a championship or a new coach.

I have way more important things

to do with my life than play tennis.

Hi, I'm coach McAllister.

-Are you okay? -Yes.

Oh, I live for this game.

That actually stung a little bit.

Hi, I'm sergeant Jim Egan,

and this is the story of my military record in Korea.

It was the winter of 1952-

[C.J.] Hey; What are you guys doing?

We're line-dancing. What does it look like?

I'm shooting an oral history project for school.

-It's about war heroes. -Oh, yeah?

Is grandpa sitting on one?

Can we get on with this?

Sorry, grandpa.

And, action!

I'm sergeant Jim Egan, and this is the story of my military-

[C.J.] If you want to talk to a real war hero, you should talk to me.

For God's sake!

That's right; Gulf war, aerial recon.

There's nothing braver than coming face-to-face

with a photograph of the enemy.

I'd like to see you sit in a dark room

looking at hundreds of photos with a flashlight.

Hey, maybe I'm a hero.

You want to know what life was like on the front lines.

Why don't you just go down in the basement

and look through my footlocker?

It's got my boots, my old helmet,

even some 78 records that we used to make to send home.

-Records? -Yeah

They were like letters to let the folks know we were okay.

Sorry, C.J.; I'm going with grandpa.

Why? 'Cause he has some boots and old records?

I have a satellite photo of Bin Laden's hiding place.

I should probably give that to someone.

O.M.G., Kerry! My new tennis coach is such a hottie.

And not just a 'hot hottie'; A "Super-Hot Hottie",

Accent on the "Hot"!!

Kerry, I'm not kidding. I think I'm in love.

Bridget, you fall in love with a new guy every week.

No, no. This is different.I never felt the way I do around Scott.

I mean.. I get dizzy, I can't concentrate, I'm flustered.

I haven't thought about shopping all day long.

So what do you think's going to happen?

I guess I'll have to send you out shopping for me.

I mean with Scott. He's your coach.

For now, but soon I will join the pro tennis tour

We'll travel all over the world, and fall madly in love.

All I have to do is graduate,

and I do that at the end of the year, if I pass chemistry.

Oh, my God; Maybe this is just an impossible dream.

Let's say that you do graduate before your coach retires.

What makes you think he's even going to notice you?

Oh, Kerry; I truly believe Scott and I are supposed to connect

on a deep spiritual level. And if that doesn't happen,

I'll do my hair-flip-giggly thingy.

Good luck with that.

You'll see, Kerry.

This isn't just a schoolgirl crush.

This guy's my soul mate.

You are looking at the future

Mrs. Scott Mc-something...or...other.

I didn't really catch it.

I've seen the tapes of your matches,

and we all need to work on our ground strokes, okay?

And you, with the hair.

Uh, Bridget Hennessy. Bridget Hennessy.

You might want to try a headband.

Okay, let's start with a little drill.

Anybody want to go first?

Bridget Hennessy reporting for duty.

I bet you have a very unorthodox technique.

-Why do you say that? -You don't have a racket.

Okay; Come here.

I want you to bounce the ball

and just drive it right down the line.

Oh, that was great, that was great.

Now, let's see if we can get your racket back a little further.

Just reach all the way back

so you can really let it whip around.

Can you show me?

Here. How's that feel?

That feels right. That feels so right.

Here, take the ball.

You guys are going to notice a huge difference in power.

When I tell Bridget to go,

just notice how she comes straight --

god, I am so sorry! Are you okay?

I'm good.

Like I said, huge difference in power.

Leo; I know you want me

to think you're going to throw up...

But I have kids, I know this trick.

So just swallow the oatmeal and get back to geometry.

Fine.

Hi.

Hi.

Oh... I'm.. I'm Scott McAllister. I'm the new tennis coach.

I'm Kate Hennessy.

My daughter Bridget is on your team.

Your daughter is why I'm here.

She hit me in the ribs with her racket.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Here, let's get this jacket off. -Okay

I'm going to need a little help. Agh..

Just do it really slow.

Yeah, well, that's what I was thinking.

Uh...

-Wow. -Bad?

Well, let's see.

-Is it broken? -Just take a deep breath.

Uh...one more?

For insurance.

Yeah, well, I-I don't think it's broken,

but you're going to have a nasty bruise.

-Ow. Do I sound like a baby? -No.

When you're done, can I have some chocolate ice cream?

You know, it's funny you say that.

When I was a kid, every time I would hurt myself,

I wanted chocolate ice cream.

So I just started falling down on purpose,

which was fun,

until my parents made me wear a helmet everywhere.

Well...You're done.

Really? You don't want to take my blood pressure

or hit me in the knee with a little hammer?

No, I think the Hennessy girls

have done enough damage to you for one day.

Okay. Well, thanks, Cate.

Well, yeah, I -- you know, I'm here,

and this is what I do.

Okay, well, um,

See ya!

See ya. See ya.

-Cate? -Uh, yes?

I'm new in town.

Do you think you and I could go out sometime?

You could show me the best place to get chocolate ice cream.

Well, I'm on my way to my fat busters meeting.

You?

Yeah, it's a great place to meet chicks.

By the way, that pasta's 22 pudgy points.

Something's different about you.

No, it's not.

Oh, Please; You're stirring that sauce

with long, languid, circular motions,

when usually it's tight, little,

frantic figure eights.

Somebody needs a job.

Oh, no, you can try to deny it,

but I studied aerial photography in the Gulf war.

My eye for detail is unfailing.

So, you can tell me what's going on,

or you can lay on the ground.

I'll figure it out for myself.

All right.

This really cute,

much younger guy just asked me out.

That's the way you want to play it --on the ground!

C.J.!

I never would have believed it myself.

It's Bridget's new tennis coach,

and he's gorgeous

And funny and charming...

and gorgeous!

And he asked me out.

Well, good for you, 'foxy brown'.

I told him no.

What you talkin' about, 'foxy'?

He's too young and we work together.

Oh, who cares? Come on.

Go out with the tennis coach, aunt Cate.

You deserve a little fun.

Let's face it, you're not getting any...

Fun around here.

You know, C.J.; the truth is

I'm still not ready for anything like that.

Oh, yeah? Why the crazy stirring?

Well, that's a whole other thing.

What? You can tell me.

Come on!

Well,

C.J.; I felt something

that I haven't felt for a long, long time.

I mean, when I was standing in the room with Scott,

my palms got sweaty, my face got flushed.

I was just so incredibly...

turned on..

and it made me feel so...

Scared.

No

No. No, not exactly --

No, no, I'm scared. I gotta go.

These are the artifacts of sergeant Jim Egan,

a real war hero.

What have we here? This is his helmet.

What must it have felt like to be in battle?

Dark?

What have we here?

These records were sent back home

so loved ones would know their soldiers were okay.

Let's here what one of these brave men had to say, shall we?

[Jim:] Is this thing on?

My dear Laura: Don't despair.

I know these last few years have been very hard on you,

but don't worry -- I'll be home soon, very soon,

because tomorrow my best buddy Stinky's

going to shoot me in the foot.

Ohh!

If you actually want that to bleed,

I could stick you with something.

I was trying to see if I could...

Hey; Did you change your mind about the ice cream?

No, I'm just looking for Bridget. -Oh

-She left about 10 minutes ago. -What?

Oh; She's supposed to give me a ride home.

-She's got my car. -That's too bad.

I could give you a lift home.

No, Scott, I don't think that that's a good --

Just a ride; Point "a" to point "b."

Come on, what are you going to do? Take a cab?

Hitchhike?

Okay, fine.

Okay. Thanks.

But if we do pass a great ice cream place,

could you at least point it out?

Look, I just don't get it.

This guy I like at school will not give me a second look.

-Is hot out this year? -I wish.

Listen, in my experience,

if you're coming on really strong

and all you're getting back are dead eyes,

there's only one explanation

they're gay.

No, not this guy.

Ah, you'd be surprised.

95% of the girls I hit on --gay.

Believe me, he's into women.

Maybe he already has one.

No.He just moved here. I've never seen him with anyone,

and there are no pictures on his desk.

What high school kid has pictures on their desk anyway?

No, he's not a student. He's my new tennis coach.

-He's your what now? -My tennis coach.

I couldn't hear you 'cause of all the glare.

Well...

That was fun.

Just for the record, all I did was drive.

You're the one that suggested the ice cream.

You'd already parked in front of the ice cream place

and shut off the engine.

It seemed like my only option.

Why are you sitting over here?

What do you mean? It's the best seat in the house.

You just want me to move so you can sit here.

-What's going on out there? -Nothing.

Wanna shoot hoops in the driveway?

Come on. It's fun.

Listen, since we've already had an accidental date,

How'd you like to try one on purpose?

You know what?

I'd like that a lot.

Great.

What is she doing with him?

Nothing, nothing. Probably just a ride home.

That doesn't explain the walking up the steps

and the laughing and the ice cream.

She won't be laughing when she finds out

that ice cream's 36 pudgy points.

If nothing's going on, then why is she so damn happy?

She's not happy at all.

Hi, everybody! I'm home!

It's a sugar high.

-Okay, what's going on? -What are you talking about?

Uh --you, my coach.

Oh, well, he just gave me a ride home

because somebody forgot to pick me up.

Oh, that's it? He gave you a ride straight home?

What, in his ice cream truck?

What is wrong with her?

Well, uh, you know, your dessert buddy --

Bridget is kind of totally, super in love with him.

Oh, my God!

Oh...

And I just agreed to go on a date with him.

What am I going to do now?

Wanna shoot hoops?

You know, it's frightening how well you know me.

All right, I'll get the ball.

Honey, C.J. Just told me about your crush.

I don't have a crush. I have a life plan.

Well, whatever it is, I didn't know.

And that must have looked really weird,

seeing us both on the porch like that.

I just wanted to reassure you

there is nothing going on with me and Scott.

Oh, now it's 'Scott'?

Well, that's his name.

We're both adults. That's what I call him.

And what about all the laughing and the secret ice cream?

It wasn't secret. We were having fun.

Fun? And I supposed you don't find him good-looking.

I'm not blind.

I noticed that he was good-looking.

I am a woman.

You're not a woman, you're a mother!

I hate to tell you, but you can be both.

Or are you unclear on how I became a mother?

Ew!

Look, now, Bridget, isn't this a good thing

that I'm actually attracted to a man?

I thought that this might never happen again.

Great, great, you're attracted to men again.

What? Are you two going to start dating?

No.

We're just friends. Nothing happened.

And nothing's going to happen?

Right.

And nothing's going to happen.

Come in.

Come on. We're losing the light.

Let's go.

Sergeant Jim Egan reporting for duty.

Wind that thing up, and let's go.

Yeah, I think we have enough, grandpa.

Come on. I put my uniform on.

I couldn't get into the pants,

but I thought it would lend some authenticity.

Yeah, authenticity's good.

I was going to tell you how I got my purple heart.

That was my ticket home, you know.

We know all about your ticket home.

You told us you were on patrol and got shot in the butt.

Yeah, that's exactly what happened.

We heard the record, grandpa.

We know you had your buddy stinky shoot you in the foot.

You heard that, huh?

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Come on, come on. Sit down.

Let me tell you a little something about war.

That day we'd come under heavy attack

and a couple of my buddies got hurt real bad,

and...

Well, I was ...

I was scared,

I was homesick, and that night --

and I'm not proud of this -- but I got drunk,

real drunk...

Dance-with-stinky drunk.

And we made that recording,

but I never had stinky shoot me in the foot.

-Really? -Really.

The next morning, I sobered up,

and I joined my buddies back up on the line.

So, you didn't make up all this hero stuff?

Of course not.

If I'm going to make up some story to make me a hero,

would I make up a story where I got shot in the ass?

I'm really not kidding this time, Mrs. Hennessy.

I got a headache, and I feel kind of nauseous.

Well, you know,

you actually do feel warm.

I've got just the thing.

Arm or butt?

Geometry.

Hey. I got your message. Is everything okay?

Oh, hi.

Come on in.

Uh, Scott,

I can't go out with you.

Why? What happened?

Well, I had some time to think,

and I guess I just got swept away yesterday.

That could be a good thing.

It was a good thing...

It was a great thing.

But for a lot of reasons, it's just too complicated.

Because I'm Bridget's coach.

That might have a little something to do with it.

Bridget really loves

being on the team,

and I wouldn't want to do anything

that would make her feel awkward.

She's not that good. I could cut her from the team.

I'm kidding. She's my best player.

But I'd still cut her.

Okay, I get it.

I don't want to do anything that will make you feel awkward.

Thanks for understanding.

And thank you for...

a terrific...

day.

So, I guess I'll see you around campus.

Yeah.

So, what was that?

Uh...

I just really wanted to see if my lips still worked.

They do.

Uh...Bye, Scott.

Aw, look at him. He's sleeping.

I feel so guilty for ever doubting him.

I know, he was scared and homesick,

and he still went back to the front lines.

That's a real hero.

-Check his feet. -I'm on it.

I didn't do it.

-Hey. -Hey.

I see the stirrings are back to normal.

Things are fine.

Well, I'm off to my first meeting of grieving pet owners.

You don't have a pet.

Not anymore.

Sniff....

Pretty good, huh?

That is terrible.

Don't judge me. I'm helping those cat ladies.

Hey, mom! Can I talk to you for a second? -Sure honey

Look, I was totally off base before

when I saw you and my coach together.

I just freaked out, but I want to apologize.

Well, thank you. I appreciate that.

And P.S., I was completely nuts

to think you and him would ever be together.

No offense, mom, but in what whacked-out world

would hot, young Scott be into you?

Mmm...yeah. That's crazy.

Crazy.

---oOo---