Original subtitles

I'm gonna go to Billy's after party.

His father went back into rehab.

Oh, no, you're kidding.

Oh, but it'll be unsupervised.

No, it's been canceled.

What? Why does everything bad happen to me?

Hey.

We better get going if we're gonna skip history.

Hey.

No, I am not giving you any more tongue depressors

so you can fling spitballs hat people.

That's not why I'm here...

Although I am out.

No, I'm here because some of the boys in class

have come to me with something

because I'm cool and I have all the answers.

So you came to me?

Exactly.

Prom is right around the corner,

and traditionally that's a big night for us fellas.

But there's one particular item

that the boys have to come prepared with

if the night is gonna go well,

if you know what I mean, and me thinks you do.

Me thinks I'm in the ballpark.

Go on.

There's a lot of questions about this item,

like "where do you get it?"

"What size?

What are good colors?"

And frankly a lot of boys

don't even know how to put them on.

And they want me to help?

Yeah, it's quite a job.

I still can't put on one

without jabbing myself with a pin.

Are we talking about

what I think we're talking about?

Yeah, corsages.

Or...

Oh.

What?

Yeah, put some pepper hon that.

Okay.

And slice some onions.

All right.

Yeah, and lots and lots of garlic powder.

Do you want to make this?

I don't know how to cook.

So, what'd you guys think

about my article in the school paper?

Wow, well, it was very good.

Yeah, mm-hmm.

You didn't read it, did you?

Of course we read it, and it was provocative.

As usual.

And insightful.

As always.

So, do you agree with my position?

Well, when it started I didn't,

but by the end -- whoo! -- You really had me.

You know what?

Hit's okay that you didn't read it.

Why should you care about issues that I'm passionate about?

Kerry, I didn't know you were a lesbian.

What?!

Give me that article.

I'm not gay.

The article is about gay couples at Liberty high

who feel unwelcome at the prom.

I was just trying to open some minds

and offer some support.

Anyone with half a brain could see

that it was written by a straight person.

Extra, extra -- kerry likes the ladies.

Who's Nikki alcott?

Oh, Nikki alcott is a very attractive senior

who dates a lot of boys.

So she puts out.

Hyeah. Why is she calling here?

Rory, it's Nikki alcott.

Oh, my god! Oh, my god!

I was wondering if you wanted to go to the prom with me.

Yes, yes!

Give me the phone.

Uh, Rory, I don't know if it's such a good idea

for you to date Nikki alcott.

Have you lost your mind, woman?

Uh, anyway, let me know. Hbye.

H mom!

Give the boy a night in the big leagues, huh?

He knows right from wrong.

Oh, all right.

But what's a senior want with a freshman anyway?

She's probably worked her way through the other grades.

Not helping.

Nikki? Ahem.

Hey, Nikki, it's Rory hennessy here.

Just wanted to call and let you know

that it looks like I'm free for prom night.

What's up, players...

And grandpa?

Well, Rory just got a date for the prom.

Nikki alcott.

Nikki alcott.

Oh, congratulations, aunt Cate, you're gonna be a grandmother.

Hey, I am nervous enough about this prom.

Oh, speaking of the prom, you're right.

The guys in my class,

they weren't talking about corsages.

They were talking about prophylactics.

How'd you figure it out?

They set me straight when I told them

most girls like to wear them on their wrists.

You know what I can't wrap my brain around?

When did proms become "r" rated?

You know what I can't wrap hmy brain around?

When did he learn the word "prophylactic"?

Hi, honey.

Hey, guys.

Um, mom, can I ask you a question?

Sure.

You trust me, right?

Why?

Well, don't just jump to something being wrong.

I just want to know if you trust me.

Yes, I trust you.

Why?

Okay, just hear me out.

I want to throw a completely safe,

halcohol-free, after-prom party in a hotel.

It would end at dawn

so that kids could drive home hhin daylight

after eating breakfast,

the most important meal hof the day.

No.

Mom, come on. I'm responsible.

Don't you have confidence that you raised me right?

No.

Don't you think this is one of those opportunities

to prove what a responsible hperson I've become?

Bringing the car home with a full tank of gas

or not letting the house burn down

when you make a grilled cheese sandwich --

those are opportunities.

Can't we just discuss this ha little bit more?

No, there is absolutely no way you are throwing

or attending an after-prom party at a hotel.

Ugh, my life is so unfair! My life is so unfair!

Doesn't she have to pay a royalty to kerry

every time she says that?

Can you believe her?

Don't you think you were a little hard on her?

No, I think I was just hard enough.

That's what they need to save them from themselves.

I don't think she needs all that much saving.

I mean, she's a really good girl.

Yes, she is.

She's also a teenage girl.

And I was one, and I know what they're capable of.

Hyeah, well, I had two teenage girls,

and I think I know what they're capable of.

Oh, yeah?

You want to know what we did on our prom night?

I do know.

The gym floor opened up, you fell in the pool,

and you spent four hours hdrying off.

I bought it then, and I buy it now.

Kerry?

Hi, I'm Monica.

Oh, you play lacrosse, hright?

The enforcer.

That's me.

You're really good.

Listen, I read your article about gays and the prom,

and it really spoke to me.

Thank you.

It's something I'm passionate about.

Me, too.

So, about the prom.

I was wondering if you wanted hto take the next step,

turn a few heads for the cause.

Are you asking me to the prom?

Yeah.

What do you think?

Oh, my god,

what a statement that would make.

Is that a yes?

That's a big yes.

Great.

Cate: Hey, honey.

Oh, hey, mom.

This is Monica. She's my prom date.

People are gonna be talking about that, aren't they?

I think they will.

Hi, Monica. Nice to meet you.

You, too.

Have her home by midnight.

Hi, honey.

Whatever.

What was that about?

My mom won't let me throw the after party.

You mean you asked her?

I had this stupid idea that she might trust me.

We better get going if we're gonna skip math.

Hey, Rory.

Tell me this is one of your teachers.

Mom, I'd like you to meet Nikki alcott.

Oh, sure, Nikki.

Nice to meet you.

Hi hear you're taking my little fella to the prom.

Yeah, I sure am, and I can't wait.

Nurse hennessy, where have you been hiding him?

Cub scouts.

Bye, mom.

Hey.

Now I'm thinking the guys were talking about corsages.

What?

Someone said you have to refrigerate them

to keep them fresh.

That's got to be flowers.

I don't know, C.J., but, you know,

this whole prom thing is really getting to me.

Oh, that's right.

I heard you put the kibosh on Bridget's big after party.

Yeah, you're darn right hi did.

You can slow these kids down, but you can't stop them.

It's like spraying deodorant on a cockroach.

What's that supposed to mean?

It screws them up at first.

They're like, "uhh!"

And then...

Pretty soon they're doing their cockroach thing again.

The point is these kids are gonna have a party.

You might as well

just rent the hotel room for them yourself.

Are you kidding?

Hthere's no way I'm renting them a room.

If you don't get them a place, someone else will.

Attention, students.

After the prom, this year's safe and sane

but fun, fun, fun school-sanctioned after party

will be held at the home

of Bridget, kerry, and Rory hennessy.

So, let the alcohol-free good times roll.

Oh...

My...

God.

Sweet!

This is the coolest party I've ever been to!

Why do I believe that?

Listen, here's my adrenaline shot

just in case I go crazy and eat a peanut.

Ooh, party on, Duane.

All right.

Hey, gramps.

Hi, sweetie. Hi.

Hey, gramps.

Good lord, son, is that Nikki alcott?

Yeah.

Are you okay?

I'm just so damn proud of you.

Pot sticker? Shrimp puff?

I don't have those.

They're just nicknames I made up for you two.

We're fine, C.J.

I'm gonna grab a drink. Do you want something?

Oh, no, I'm good.

C.J., you should've seen us tonight.

The minute we walked in, everyone was buzzing.

Well, why didn't you bring that punch bowl to this party?

No, I'm being serious, C.J. we really made a difference.

I see you brought your date hto the after party.

Hooh la la. I know what that means.

There's no ooh la la.

We're making a political statement.

Hno, the prom was the political statement.

The after party is ooh la la.

And you know what?

I think Monica might wanna-ca.

No, she won't.

Hope you're right, shrimp puff.

Oh, I love this song.

Let's dance.

Really? Didn't we make a point at the prom?

Hyeah. This is just for fun.

Ooh la la.

Hi, honey. How was the prom?

Fine. How's your lame after party?

It is not a lame party.

Everybody's just starting to get down wit' it.

I'm gonna go to bed.

I don't want to be seen at this freak show.

It's not a freak show.

What's your favorite thing about potato chips?

Cocktail wienie?

Stop calling me that.

C.J., is this party a total failure?

No, not at all.

You've discovered the cure for fun.

Bridget is acting like I ruined her entire life.

No, just her social life.

Well, I don't care.

I did what I thought was right.

And her reputation and her prom night.

Well, I didn't mean to do all that.

And her chance to be in peanut boy's snack-umentary.

Maybe there's something I could do to cheer her up.

Take her to the "heffalump" movie.

I laughed start to finish.

All right. I'm just gonna go talk to her.

You know what?

She's not that anxious to see you now.

Why don't you let her hcool off,

and then I'll go test the waters in a while.

Thanks.

I don't know why I like potato chips.

I just like 'em.

Great party.

Yeah.

Bridget?

Bridget?

Aha.

All right, you want to mope.

I get it.

Not much of a way to spend your prom night, though --

in the dark with the sheets pulled over your head.

Although that's pretty much how I spent mine...

Except I was hog-tied in the back of a pickup truck.

Ever been left for dead in Tijuana?

Hcome on, that's kind of funny.

Look, don't be like this.

Come on, get up. Your mom --

uh-huh.

Okay, now, this is exactly like my prom night.

You lied to your mother, you borrowed my good wig,

and you made me share

a painful memory with a volleyball.

Where are you?

I'm at the after party, my after party.

You're not gonna tell mom, hare you?

No, not if you get your butt back here right now.

I can't really come home right now.

Things are a little out of control.

That's not your problem.

You're right. It's yours.

I booked the hotel under your credit card.

What was that?

Someone moving the coffee table,

making room to dance.

Where'd they move it to?

The pool.

You know what?

You tell those hooligans to stay put

'cause I'm gonna get down there

and deal with those kids C.J. style!

Drop me, you hooligans!

Ow, no pinching!

Put me down! I'm serious!

Put me d-- aah!

Aah!

Dude, get a room.

We did.

Get another one.

Hello?

Aunt Cate.

Why are you calling?

You went upstairs to check on Bridget.

I haven't seen you since.

Oh, Bridget's fine.

She's in really good hands hright now.

Oh, I'm not worried about Bridget.

She had a good head on her shoulders.

So, where are you?

Uh, I'm in Bridget's room.

No.

I think I'm in trouble.

Yeah, you sure are.

Aunt Cate, seriously -- I think I'm in trouble!

Guys!

Hey, gramps.

Hi, sweetie.

Well, how's your political statement going?

Great, great.

Not so great? Hhnot so great.

It's starting to get complicated.

Monica may be getting the wrong impression.

I think she likes me. I don't know what to do.

I always felt when things got confusing between people

you just tell the truth.

I don't want to hurt her feelings.

You can do what I used to do.

Just tell her you already have a girlfriend.

Grandpa.

There you are.

I brought you your drink.

Yeah, well, I think I'll leave you two.

I promised Duane I'd give him my thoughts on ranch dip.

I think we really shook them up tonight.

Yeah, I think everyone's a little shaken up.

I'm having a good time.

Kerry, you're a really special person.

Um...monica, look, I want to be straight with you...

Which brings me to my next point.

As two gay women,

how do you feel about pretzels?

I'm not gay. She's gay.

I'm not gay. You're gay.

No, I'm sure about this. HI'm not gay.

Why did you ask me to the prom?

To support the cause. Why did you say yes?

To support the cause.

Wait, then if we're not gay,

what kind of statement are we making?

Do you think you guys could kiss?

I promised the a.V. Club I'd come back with something.

Want to sneak up to my room?

Rory, I know I have a reputation.

I haven't heard anything.

The reason I've gone out with so many guys

is because I was searching hfor something,

but now my search is over.

Really?

Hbeing with you, it's made me feel something

I never thought I would feel before.

I feel the same way.

I'm gay.

Me, too.

What?

Well, when I saw kerry and Monica tonight,

it all made sense, you know?

They inspired me to be true to myself.

Well, that sucks.

I mean, for me it sucks.

Listen, you will always be the one who made it clear

that I never want to be with a guy.

That really sucks.

I mean that if I can't be hattracted to a guy

as sweet and cute as you,

then I'm definitely not attracted to guys.

I guess that makes it a little better.

Anything?

Um, Rory, would you mind

if I talked to kerry for a little bit?

I think there's something you should know about kerry.

Hwhatever it is, I'll discover it on my own.

Fine.

All right, this party is --

all right, this party is --

all right, where the hell is this party?

Mom?

I told you not to have a party.

Now, where is everybody?

It got out of control, so I shut it down.

I was just cleaning up.

Oh, I'm so glad!

You cleaned up after the party I told you not to have.

Bridget, you are in so much trouble.

I know. I'm sor--

don't argue with me.

I told you not to have a party,

and you disobeyed me.

You wouldn't even give me a chance.

I don't want to talk about. I lived it.

I was a teenager once.

I know what goes on.

I know about the drinking

and experimenting with drugs and sex...

Which my friends did while I watched, horrified.

Mom, I don't drink, I've never done drugs,

and I'm still a virgin.

I'm not you.

I never thought you were.

Okay, maybe I did.

All right, I did.

Mom, look, you taught me well,

and I listened.

I just wish you'd listen hto me more.

Well, I do. I want to listen more.

When you tell me that you're gonna have

an after-prom party in a hotel,

all I can think is that you're gonna overdose on drugs

and have indiscriminate sex.

Is that what being a mom is like?

Yes!

It's the voices, the constant voices of doom.

Well, how about the voices

hthat say Bridget is student-body president,

Bridget worked really hard this year?

I know you have, honey.

It's just that those voices get drowned out

by me thinking that you're gonna do what I did

when I was a teenager.

Okay.

But if you knew I wasn't me hbeing you back then,

only me being me right now,

would you have let me thrown this party?

Would you have let the responsible Bridget

throw the party?

Have you seen the "heffalump" movie yet?

What?

I think it's time we go home.

Yeah, you're right.

Now that we've settled this

and your anger and disappointment

is punishment enough.

Nice try.

How long?

A month.

Well, there go those crazy voices again.

Oh, no, the crazy voices are saying to lock her in a cage.

Hey! Hey!

Come here!

Help me!

Hey!

Eh, still not as bad as my prom night.