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♪ low tone playing ♪
2
00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:08,926
[animals chirping]
3
00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,929
♪ Thus Spoke Zarathustra
by Richard Strauss playing ♪
4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,058
[snoring]
5
00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:19,019
[grunting]
6
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,521
♪ fanfare ♪
7
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:30,030
[curious grunting]
8
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:34,243
[sniffing]
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[slurps]
10
00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:37,412
[swishing]
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00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:38,413
♪
12
00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:41,416
[excited chattering]
13
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:45,796
[primates chattering, slurping excitedly]
14
00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:49,341
[zooming]
15
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,262
♪ finale plays ♪
16
00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:56,265
♪ theme song playing ♪
17
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:23,625
♪
18
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First up on today's agenda...
19
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[slurps] Ahh.
20
00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:29,464
[doorbell rings]
21
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Singing hologram for Hermes Conrad.
22
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:34,845
Ooh, fun!
23
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:37,598
[strums note]
[holograms harmonize]
24
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[string snaps]
25
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Aw, rats. I'll just say it.
26
00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:43,103
Your father's on his deathbed in Jamaica.
27
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[all gasp]
- Oh, no!
28
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♪ Oh yeah ♪
29
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:48,066
[mug shatters]
30
00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,360
[Bender clapping]
- Once more from the top!
31
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,196
♪
32
00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:53,906
[ship whooshing]
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I can't believe it.
I didn't even know my father was alive!
34
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But not for much longer.
35
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Sorry about your pops, Pops.
36
00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:03,248
I didn't realize you had a pops.
37
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:06,168
I never mentioned him
because he was a terrible man!
38
00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:07,961
Haven't seen him since I was four.
39
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,254
♪
40
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:12,716
A hurricane swept Jamaica
with a pressure drop so low,
41
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it destroyed my father's barometer store.
42
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[whirring]
43
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How low can it go?
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Not this low!
45
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[glass breaking]
[springs boinging]
46
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HERMES: It was our last night
together as a family.
47
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We need money to rebuild,
48
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and they say a man can make a good living
49
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doing weird stuff in the jungle.
50
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Not the jungle, Daddy!
51
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,449
There's green snakeses in there!
52
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Oh, there's green snakes
in lots of things!
53
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But I'll be home soon, son.
54
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♪ melancholy music playing ♪
55
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[door shuts]
56
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But the miserable cruff
never did come back.
57
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He abandoned us!
58
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They say he went off into the woods
to grow some exotic crop.
59
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Exotic Jamaican crop?
It could be anything.
60
00:02:58,971 --> 00:03:01,598
Step on it, Leela!
We got to get there fast,
61
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,934
so I can tell him
I hate him before he dies.
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00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:06,937
♪
63
00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:08,856
Sure, I know your daddy.
64
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:11,483
He run a growin' operation
up in the Blue Mountains.
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[quietly]
I hope it's pumpkins.
66
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:15,612
I'm scoring a few kilos
from the man today.
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Come now. I'm gon' take you there.
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♪ ominous music playing ♪
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[tires squeal]
70
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[brakes hiss, squeal]
71
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Coffee? He's growing coffee?
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Best in the Blue Mountains.
What'd you tink he was growing?
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Uh, pumpkins.
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Medicinal pumpkins.
75
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[gate creaking]
[coughing]
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[gasps] The crops are all burnt!
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♪ dramatic sting ♪
78
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:48,353
It is not like Badrick
to let this happen.
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00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:51,481
He treats those beans
like they were his own children.
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[scoffs] I'd say much better
than his own children.
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♪ dramatic music playing ♪
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[labored breathing]
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[angry footsteps]
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There you are,
85
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,453
ya low-down
licky-licky harbor shark!
86
00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:07,122
Now, listen to me--
- I-Is that you, son?
87
00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:09,666
Hang on.
I gotta put my hearing aids in.
88
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:11,835
[grunting]
89
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:14,213
Now, listen to me,
ya low-down licky-licky harbor shark!
90
00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:16,048
And turn them on.
91
00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:17,049
[mic feedback]
92
00:04:17,049 --> 00:04:19,718
Okay, ya low-down licky-licky et cetera!
93
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Now see here!
94
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,138
I need to see something?
95
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:25,140
Wait, lemme find my glasses.
96
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[glasses clicking]
97
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,227
[sighs]
98
00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:30,521
Are you ready?!
Can I rip you a new one yet?
99
00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:33,065
Oops, these my reading glasses.
100
00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:34,858
Is there something I'll have to read?
101
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Yeah, my lips!
102
00:04:36,652 --> 00:04:38,862
Mm, then I need my regular glasses.
103
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:42,366
[glasses clicking]
104
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,285
[gasps] I can see you now, son.
105
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You look awful.
106
00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:50,415
Dad, there are things I've needed
to say to you for a long time.
107
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:54,378
Ever since that day you walked out on us
all those years ago.
108
00:04:54,378 --> 00:04:57,548
What kind of man abandons his only son?!
109
00:04:57,548 --> 00:05:00,926
What kind of man leaves his family
to fend for themselves?!
110
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I'll tell you what kind!
111
00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:05,347
[choking, gasping]
112
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,057
[death rattle]
113
00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:13,063
♪ steel drums playing upbeat melody ♪
114
00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:19,945
Though I and I never saw
eye-to-eye with him and him,
115
00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:22,906
I daren't not speak ill of the dead.
116
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So... that's all I got.
117
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♪ upbeat steel drums resume ♪
118
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[crying]
119
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I always get so sad
when I hear steel drums.
120
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,084
40% steel, baby!
121
00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:38,839
Now, to honor Badrick's
last cuckoo banana wishes,
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he gon' be buried in a burlap coffee sack.
123
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[Fry grunting]
124
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[body sliding, thumping]
125
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[Hermes grunting]
126
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,640
[Fry grunts]
[credenza splinters]
127
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,519
♪ mysterious music playing ♪
128
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:56,481
[Hermes and Professor grunting]
129
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:58,400
Thanks for your help, Professor.
130
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,445
To be honest,
you've been more of a father to me
131
00:06:01,445 --> 00:06:02,905
than he ever was.
132
00:06:02,905 --> 00:06:04,656
I feel the same way.
133
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You've been a father to me.
134
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,534
[body thudding]
135
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:10,454
HERMES: Let's bury him here,
between the outhouse and the pigsty.
136
00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:13,832
Good thing I always carry
my pocket grave digger.
137
00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:17,044
At my age, you never know
when you'll need it.
138
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,800
[whirring]
139
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,345
[metal clanging]
140
00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:28,013
♪ mysterious music playing ♪
141
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[both gasp]
142
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:30,766
[squelch, clank]
143
00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:34,937
♪ mysterious music playing ♪
144
00:06:34,937 --> 00:06:38,065
It's some kind of
mysterious buried hatch.
145
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,275
[hatch creaks]
Should we go in?
146
00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:42,945
No, let's wait until I'm older.
147
00:06:42,945 --> 00:06:44,530
Of course, we should go in!
148
00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:46,114
[metallic footsteps]
149
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:49,117
♪
150
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,662
Sweet UFO of Tupelo!
151
00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:53,163
It's a spaceship!
152
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:56,041
And not of this earth.
It must have come...
153
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,543
from space!
154
00:06:57,543 --> 00:06:58,836
♪ dramatic sting ♪
155
00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:01,380
Look at the size of that engine!
156
00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:03,757
And these would be fuel lines.
157
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,384
[slurping]
158
00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:08,554
Coffee? A ship fueled by coffee?
159
00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:11,014
Amazing!
- More amazing than the fact
160
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:13,684
you licked the drippings
off an alien rocket pipe?
161
00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:14,685
I think not.
162
00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:17,604
♪
163
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:21,275
What are these weird cylinders?
And those weird signs?
164
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:23,652
Stop calling everything weird.
165
00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:24,945
You should get out more.
166
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,823
I'll just use my trusty hand translator.
167
00:07:27,823 --> 00:07:30,742
[clicking, whirring]
168
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,327
Ethiopia...
169
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:33,662
[whirring]
170
00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:35,831
Indonesia...
[whirring]
171
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Brazil?
172
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,667
All of the world's most important
173
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,794
sandal-wearing cultures.
174
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:44,631
Yes, but also the world's
most important coffee producers.
175
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,968
[whirring]
[gasping] Jamaica!
176
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,554
And somehow,
it's full of fresh-picked beans!
177
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,849
[whirring]
- Not that fresh.
178
00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:56,226
According to my pocket carbon dater,
179
00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:58,604
they're 5 million years old.
180
00:07:58,604 --> 00:08:01,315
They predate human civilization!
181
00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:03,692
Five million-year-old coffee?
182
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:07,321
If you come across their half-and-half,
don't open it.
183
00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:10,115
♪ ominous music playing ♪
184
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:12,701
Ah, lifeless alien bodies.
185
00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:15,871
That's probably an important
piece of the puzzle.
186
00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:17,164
[straining]
187
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,208
[shrieks]
188
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,461
[slurping]
Coffee?
189
00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:24,505
Stop tasting stuff!
190
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:28,717
[sniffing]
There's coffee in these mugs, too!
191
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:32,554
[sips]
Mm! It's actually quite good.
192
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:35,599
You drank it? Gross!
193
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:36,850
[slurps]
194
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:40,687
Still rich in flavor after all these y...
195
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,689
[slurred groaning]
196
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:45,400
♪ psychedelic music playing ♪
197
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,445
Eh, what's going on?!
198
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:51,573
I'm seeing every color
of the coffee rainbow!
199
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:55,118
Me, too!
It's a double mocha hallucaccino!
200
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:57,996
♪
201
00:08:57,996 --> 00:08:59,957
[gurgling]
202
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:03,168
Now, what's happening?
[gasps] Did they come back to life?
203
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,795
No way, man.
204
00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:07,256
We're just whacked out of our gourds.
205
00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:12,511
It's like a vision of what went down
5 million years ago. Dig?
206
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:15,514
[slurping]
207
00:09:15,514 --> 00:09:18,016
Helmsman, set a course
for planet Kl'zank.
208
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:20,686
[whirring]
- That means Earth.
209
00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:22,729
The empty glass cylinders!
210
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,023
They must have come here
to steal our coffee!
211
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,483
[beeping]
- We weren't stealing it.
212
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,902
We brought it to your planet
as a great gift!
213
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,279
Oh. Sorry.
214
00:09:30,279 --> 00:09:31,697
No need to apologize.
215
00:09:31,697 --> 00:09:34,116
We've been dead millions of years
and can't hear you.
216
00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:35,534
♪ mysterious music playing ♪
217
00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:38,245
We came from planet Thermose,
218
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:41,248
a world of steaming brown beauty,
219
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:44,168
where the sacred java plant
blooms each morning.
220
00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:46,628
And don't talk to us before then.
221
00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:48,422
[thunder cracking]
222
00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:50,632
Hot rain filters through the blooms
223
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,259
to produce the sacred coffee
224
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:53,719
which flows to the sea,
225
00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:56,054
source of all life.
226
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,974
The coffee goosed along our development.
227
00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:01,435
We skipped right past
the age of dinosaurs.
228
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:02,978
Didn't need it.
229
00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:05,606
Blessed by the bean,
we made it our mission
230
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:08,859
to spread the sacrament of coffee
throughout the galaxy.
231
00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,653
Look! It's Kl'zank!
232
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:14,865
Our first destination
on your planet was Ethiopia,
233
00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:18,202
where we delivered coffee
to the ancestors of man.
234
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:26,835
Fascinating.
Do you make decaf, too?
235
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:29,254
We're aliens, not perverts!
236
00:10:29,922 --> 00:10:33,133
Coffee would trigger huge
advances wherever it appeared.
237
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,885
The pyramids.
238
00:10:34,885 --> 00:10:36,470
The Industrial Revolution.
239
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:38,472
[steam whistling, cup breaks]
240
00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:41,725
The Boston Tea Party,
241
00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:44,603
the first and only good use of tea.
242
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,980
Pfft! Tea.
243
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,815
♪
244
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,985
CAPTAIN: Finally, we headed for
the Blue Mountains of Jamaica
245
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,321
to plant the most potent beans of all.
246
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:55,405
[beans rattle]
247
00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:57,616
This coffee would inspire the final stage
248
00:10:57,616 --> 00:10:59,243
of humanity's development,
249
00:10:59,243 --> 00:11:02,037
allowing you to reach undreamt-of heights
250
00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:04,081
in the arts and sciences.
251
00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:07,793
- Even choreography?
- Especially choreography!
252
00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:10,128
But tragedy derailed our mission.
253
00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:13,465
[hissing]
254
00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:14,967
[screaming]
[alarm blaring]
255
00:11:14,967 --> 00:11:16,718
[creaking, banging]
256
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:19,930
Mayday! Mayday! Coffee crotch!
257
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:21,932
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
258
00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:24,268
[screaming]
259
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:28,146
[birds chirping]
260
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:31,525
CAPTAIN: Thus, mankind
was deprived of our final gift
261
00:11:32,276 --> 00:11:35,696
and never reached its full potential.
262
00:11:37,948 --> 00:11:40,450
That was astonishing!
263
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:43,287
We've got to tell everyone
the entire story!
264
00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:46,707
The loose coffee cup lid,
and all the other stuff, too!
265
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:48,709
No, Professor!
We can't tell anyone
266
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:51,128
what we saw or heard or drank here.
267
00:11:51,128 --> 00:11:52,796
People will think we're crazy.
268
00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,214
Crazier!
269
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,049
[crazed laugh]
270
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,051
♪
271
00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:00,137
[thudding]
272
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:10,772
For you, Dad. Sorry it's cold,
273
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:13,108
but that's how you serve revenge.
274
00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:14,610
[laughing]
275
00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:17,029
Oh, wait! You liked iced coffee!
276
00:12:17,029 --> 00:12:19,781
What heights humanity might have reached
277
00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:21,700
with the power of this brew.
278
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:25,871
If only those aliens had lived
to plant the beans.
279
00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:27,372
Maybe we could plant them.
280
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:30,417
We're alive.
- Oh, you flatter me.
281
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,294
And the beans are still down there.
282
00:12:32,294 --> 00:12:35,589
It's up to us to complete
their noble mission.
283
00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:37,883
For humanity!
284
00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:39,218
[coffee sloshes]
285
00:12:39,218 --> 00:12:42,054
♪
286
00:12:42,054 --> 00:12:43,847
Ah, there you are.
287
00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:46,850
I'm so glad ya buried
the hatchet with your daddy.
288
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:50,187
That way, if he's still alive,
he can hack his way out.
289
00:12:50,187 --> 00:12:53,398
Now, let's go home.
- Uh, yes. You should go,
290
00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:56,318
but, uh, I'm staying here
to rebuild the farm.
291
00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:58,195
[all gasp]
292
00:12:58,195 --> 00:13:00,864
- Dad?
- Husband! What do you know about coffee?
293
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:03,408
It take you an hour to make instant.
294
00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:04,576
Zing!
295
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:07,120
Are ya really going to abandon your boy
296
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,539
the way your father did?
297
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,792
This is more important than you know,
298
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:14,628
but I'll be home soon, son.
299
00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:18,257
That's a good, non-crazy idea, Hermes.
300
00:13:18,257 --> 00:13:20,133
And we're all going to help!
301
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,261
We're a coffee company now!
302
00:13:22,261 --> 00:13:25,556
We are? Don't we, like,
deliver things, or something?
303
00:13:25,556 --> 00:13:27,266
Indeed we do.
304
00:13:27,266 --> 00:13:30,018
We deliver the world's best coffee,
305
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:31,687
or our name isn't...
306
00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:34,481
Planet Espresso!
307
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,441
♪ triumphant music playing ♪
308
00:13:38,944 --> 00:13:40,445
[ship roaring away]
309
00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:46,159
♪ curious music playing ♪
310
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,537
[ground cracking]
311
00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:50,038
♪ dramatic sting ♪
312
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,501
♪
313
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,587
[indistinct chatter]
314
00:13:56,587 --> 00:13:59,965
Ugh, are the beans ready, Bender?
I got a lot of orders here.
315
00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:02,176
[beans rattling]
- Bite my shiny metal roaster.
316
00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:04,553
You can't rush Bender's Bendy Blend!
317
00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:07,973
Light, medium, and...
318
00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:09,391
Bendissimo!
319
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:14,271
Excuse me. Little service, please.
320
00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:16,565
Sorry, Mr. MacLachlan.
Here's your usual.
321
00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:21,361
Ah... That's a damn fine bath of coffee.
322
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:24,740
Outta my ways, Kwisatz Haderachses.
323
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:27,075
- Whoa!
- Fill'ers up, coffee jerk.
324
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:30,913
Um, hello?
325
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,372
Today, I'm all about fun!
326
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,541
Meaning a half-caf,
teeny-weeny-mocha-cheenie
327
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,043
with a plop-top of froth foam.
328
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:38,962
And do not even think
of whipping that dollop!
329
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:40,964
- I won't.
- Are you sure?
330
00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:43,300
'Cause you look like a dollop whipper.
331
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:46,345
[insects chirping]
[claws clipping]
332
00:14:46,345 --> 00:14:50,015
Look at me harvest!
I've got the energy of 10 fiddler crabs!
333
00:14:50,015 --> 00:14:52,100
[slurping]
334
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,685
It's this miracle coffee!
335
00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:56,522
Ever since I started drinking it,
I haven't had to sleep.
336
00:14:56,522 --> 00:14:59,733
Which gives me more time
to drink coffee. [slurps]
337
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:03,570
[Zoidberg whooping]
[snipping]
338
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,864
[indistinct chatter]
[vehicles whirring]
339
00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:10,202
I asked for lukewarm coffee,
340
00:15:10,202 --> 00:15:12,621
but this is barely room temperature!
341
00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:15,165
[sizzles]
- Ow! It's almost boiling!
342
00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:16,792
What room is that temperature?
343
00:15:16,792 --> 00:15:18,585
This one, sugarpuss,
344
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,879
'cause you're heating it up right now.
345
00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:22,548
When do you get off work?
346
00:15:22,548 --> 00:15:26,051
I don't.
I work 24 hours a day, somehow.
347
00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:27,302
[slurps]
348
00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:29,555
I'm heres for my frees refill.
349
00:15:29,555 --> 00:15:31,390
Yeah, well, today's a new day,
350
00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:33,684
so it's a new coffee at full price.
351
00:15:33,684 --> 00:15:36,228
If it's my faults the Earth rotates,
352
00:15:36,228 --> 00:15:38,856
then it's the Earth's faults I did thises!
353
00:15:38,856 --> 00:15:40,065
Yow!
[coffeepot shatters]
354
00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:42,067
That's it! I've had it!
355
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:44,528
I'm going on strike with
all the other employees.
356
00:15:44,528 --> 00:15:46,196
Who's with me?
357
00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:47,656
Fry, you dolt.
358
00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:49,199
You're the only employee.
359
00:15:49,199 --> 00:15:50,951
The rest of us are management.
360
00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,995
Not me, baby. I'm equipment.
361
00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:56,415
What we really have here
is an employee problem.
362
00:15:56,415 --> 00:15:58,458
I say we managers strike
363
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:01,461
until Fry learns to
work better and cheaper.
364
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:02,462
- Yeah!
- Right on!
365
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,173
- What she said!
- Yup.
366
00:16:04,173 --> 00:16:06,216
STRIKERS:
Hey, hey! Woo, woo!
367
00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:08,093
Who will tell you what to do?
368
00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:10,179
Hey, hey! Woo, woo!
369
00:16:10,179 --> 00:16:12,514
Who will tell you what to do?
370
00:16:12,514 --> 00:16:14,349
Alright, fine.
371
00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:16,268
I'll accept worse working conditions.
372
00:16:16,268 --> 00:16:18,770
But, in return, I expect lower pay.
373
00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,272
Much lower!
374
00:16:20,272 --> 00:16:21,190
[door slams]
375
00:16:21,190 --> 00:16:23,192
♪ somber music playing ♪
376
00:16:23,192 --> 00:16:24,943
LaBARBARA [on phone]:
Poor little Dwight.
377
00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:27,196
He can't understand why you're gone.
378
00:16:27,196 --> 00:16:30,240
Last night, he asked
if you're having an affair.
379
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:33,535
It was the first good laugh
we've had since ya left.
380
00:16:33,535 --> 00:16:35,537
[both laughing]
381
00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:39,166
[sighs] If I told you the details,
you'd call me crazy.
382
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:42,628
All I can say is it's about
the future of mankind.
383
00:16:42,628 --> 00:16:45,797
That was more than enough detail
to call you crazy.
384
00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:48,300
I'm sorry, LaBarbara, but I got to go.
385
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:51,178
I'm meeting with the shareholders,
and you're not a shareholder.
386
00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:52,679
We share a child!
387
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,848
Yes, yes, but nothing of value.
388
00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:55,933
[phone beeps]
[sips]
389
00:16:55,933 --> 00:16:57,809
[birds chirping]
390
00:16:57,809 --> 00:16:59,937
Business is booming, people!
391
00:16:59,937 --> 00:17:02,648
Our one cafe can't keep up
with the demand!
392
00:17:02,648 --> 00:17:05,025
We'll either have to open
a second location,
393
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:07,486
or start poisoning our customers.
394
00:17:07,486 --> 00:17:10,864
Oh, no. I'm not learning
how to make any new drinks.
395
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:16,912
How can we afford a second location?
396
00:17:16,912 --> 00:17:20,290
Irish cream syrup alone is $400 a barrel.
397
00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:23,794
[door opens]
- How about a silent but deadly partner?
398
00:17:23,794 --> 00:17:25,045
[all gasp]
399
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,797
You're thinking too small.
400
00:17:26,797 --> 00:17:28,632
You don't need a second location.
401
00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:30,050
You need 10,000!
402
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:32,386
Mother always aims for the sky.
403
00:17:32,386 --> 00:17:33,470
SONS:
Ow!
404
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:36,765
When I had you,
I should have aimed for the trash!
405
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:38,559
Explain your plan without hittin' me.
406
00:17:38,559 --> 00:17:41,061
We'll put franchises everywhere.
407
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:44,481
They'll spread across the world
like steaming hot acne.
408
00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:46,733
This is it, Hermes! With Mom's help,
409
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:50,070
our coffee will bring civilization
to the next level!
410
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:53,323
Plus, we can all go back to our families.
411
00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:54,533
♪ poignant music playing ♪
412
00:17:54,533 --> 00:17:56,702
HERMES:
I do miss them.
413
00:17:56,702 --> 00:17:58,829
But why did I frame that photo?
414
00:17:58,829 --> 00:18:00,747
We'll get the whole world addicted,
415
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,375
and that's when we jack up
the profit margin
416
00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:06,128
by mixing in cheap trash beans.
417
00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:09,756
[Hermes gasps]
- Over my almost dead body!
418
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,675
Who's gonna taste the difference?
419
00:18:11,675 --> 00:18:13,093
You burn the beans enough,
420
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:15,888
it's like drinking
caffeinated cigar ashes.
421
00:18:15,888 --> 00:18:17,264
Understand this.
422
00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:19,349
We will triple-never, double-ever,
423
00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:20,934
disrespect this coffee!
424
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:24,062
Get out! And take your dirty,
sexy money with you!
425
00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:25,105
[grunts]
426
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,317
[pained wail]
427
00:18:28,317 --> 00:18:30,611
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
428
00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:32,487
[ships roaring]
429
00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:36,742
[snipping]
430
00:18:36,742 --> 00:18:40,120
We'll stick with the plan.
No one messes with my shrubs.
431
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,331
♪ curious sting ♪
432
00:18:42,331 --> 00:18:43,540
Weird.
433
00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,209
This one looks almost like my father
434
00:18:45,209 --> 00:18:47,753
Zoidberg! You doing topiary?
435
00:18:47,753 --> 00:18:49,588
ZOIDBERG:
Nope-iary!
436
00:18:50,339 --> 00:18:52,132
BADRICK:
Quit pluckin' my beans, son.
437
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:53,383
[screams]
438
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:55,552
You scared o' shrubs?!
439
00:18:55,552 --> 00:18:58,222
I really was a bad fatha'.
440
00:18:59,223 --> 00:19:01,725
♪ mysterious music playing ♪
441
00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:04,811
D-D-Dad? Have you come back to life?
442
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,563
Or am I trippin' beans?!
443
00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:08,982
The coffee done brought me
back to life, son.
444
00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:11,318
That's the kinda stuff coffee do.
445
00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:12,611
But hear me now
446
00:19:12,611 --> 00:19:15,531
'cause I don't want you to end up like me.
447
00:19:15,531 --> 00:19:16,907
I'm nothing like you!
448
00:19:16,907 --> 00:19:19,326
I made a success of this place
449
00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:21,203
after you let it burn to the ground.
450
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:22,704
I didn't let it burn!
451
00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:24,915
I set fire to it myself.
452
00:19:24,915 --> 00:19:28,293
Then you're a fool!
You never knew what you were growing here.
453
00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:30,295
Of course, I knew, ya dingdong!
454
00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:33,549
I drank the space coffee.
I saw the space vision.
455
00:19:33,549 --> 00:19:37,302
I didn't have a TV,
so I'd watch it over and over.
456
00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:39,429
[laughs] My favorite part is where they--
457
00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:42,391
Spilled the coffee?
I mean, get a cup holder!
458
00:19:42,391 --> 00:19:44,434
[both laugh]
459
00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:46,270
They were dingdongs, aight.
460
00:19:46,270 --> 00:19:48,230
But I was a dingdong, too.
461
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:51,900
Too late, I realized I'd wasted my life.
462
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:53,819
Wasted? How?
463
00:19:53,819 --> 00:19:56,321
I became obsessed with the farm.
464
00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:58,574
I was working for
the good of all humanity,
465
00:19:58,574 --> 00:20:00,534
except my own family.
466
00:20:00,534 --> 00:20:03,579
There's only one growing season
for a father and son,
467
00:20:03,579 --> 00:20:05,664
and I missed it.
468
00:20:06,665 --> 00:20:08,375
[sniffles] Oh, Dad.
469
00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:11,295
All this time, I've been
holding on to my hatred,
470
00:20:11,295 --> 00:20:15,090
filing it deep in a mental filing cabinet
marked "revenge."
471
00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:16,925
But now [sniffles],
472
00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:18,468
all I want to say to you is--
473
00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:20,053
[snipping]
[gasps]
474
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:22,097
I'm good at this!
475
00:20:22,097 --> 00:20:24,641
♪ gentle music playing ♪
476
00:20:25,893 --> 00:20:27,519
Why won't Pops come home?
477
00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:29,479
Did I do something to disappoint him?
478
00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:32,316
Plenty, but that's not the reason.
[door opens]
479
00:20:32,316 --> 00:20:35,736
The reason is I was a dingdong.
480
00:20:35,736 --> 00:20:38,322
- Pops!
- My dingdong husband!
481
00:20:38,322 --> 00:20:40,199
♪ heartfelt music playing ♪
482
00:20:40,199 --> 00:20:43,160
I am so, so sorry.
483
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:46,330
You both mean more to me
than all the talking shrubs
484
00:20:46,330 --> 00:20:49,291
and prehistoric space aliens in Jamaica.
485
00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:51,168
Can you ever forgive me?
486
00:20:51,168 --> 00:20:53,962
Come on in.
I'll make you some coffee.
487
00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:55,214
Oh God, no!
488
00:20:55,214 --> 00:20:57,799
I've had enough coffee for
the rest of my entire...
489
00:20:57,799 --> 00:20:59,259
morning!
490
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:00,761
Eh, I guess I could have a little.
491
00:21:00,761 --> 00:21:02,971
♪
492
00:21:06,141 --> 00:21:09,728
Sorry. I ain'ts had my coffees today.
493
00:21:09,728 --> 00:21:10,854
Owses!
494
00:21:14,733 --> 00:21:16,151
Well, that's that.
495
00:21:16,151 --> 00:21:18,612
I sold off the whole coffee estate to Mom.
496
00:21:18,612 --> 00:21:21,448
I'm sure she's in Jamaica right now,
497
00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:24,910
adulterating those beautiful beans
and counting her money.
498
00:21:24,910 --> 00:21:27,579
[bills fanning]
[slurps]
499
00:21:27,579 --> 00:21:30,958
You couldn't be more partially wrong.
500
00:21:30,958 --> 00:21:31,917
[all gasp]
501
00:21:31,917 --> 00:21:34,545
I already re-sold the whole crap-load
502
00:21:34,545 --> 00:21:36,964
for a butt-truck of ass cash.
503
00:21:36,964 --> 00:21:38,757
Resold it? To who?
504
00:21:38,757 --> 00:21:42,052
Who knows?
A bunch of rich coffee snobs.
505
00:21:42,052 --> 00:21:43,053
[slurps]
506
00:21:43,053 --> 00:21:45,806
I know it was hard
to sell the farm, husband,
507
00:21:45,806 --> 00:21:48,892
but your daddy, oh, he would be proud.
508
00:21:48,892 --> 00:21:52,479
I'm sure he's smiling
down on you right now.
509
00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:54,064
I'm sure he is.
510
00:21:55,482 --> 00:21:56,525
Come here, Son.
511
00:21:58,110 --> 00:22:01,780
Um, Pops, aren't I a little old
to be sittin' on your lap?
512
00:22:01,780 --> 00:22:03,198
And heavy, too.
513
00:22:03,198 --> 00:22:05,409
But stay just a little longer.
514
00:22:06,410 --> 00:22:09,413
♪ intense music playing ♪
515
00:22:09,413 --> 00:22:11,623
[leaves rustling]
516
00:22:11,623 --> 00:22:16,336
Harvest, harvest, harvest!
Coffee break! [slurps]
517
00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:18,839
♪ uneasy music playing ♪
518
00:22:20,424 --> 00:22:23,594
[ship rumbling]
519
00:22:23,594 --> 00:22:24,595
[thud]
520
00:22:24,595 --> 00:22:26,597
♪ dramatic crescendo ♪
521
00:22:27,347 --> 00:22:29,558
It's been five million years.
522
00:22:29,558 --> 00:22:32,186
Has mankind undergone
the great transition?
523
00:22:32,186 --> 00:22:33,979
Uh, almost?
524
00:22:33,979 --> 00:22:35,397
Excellent.
525
00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:36,857
Deploy the habitat!
526
00:22:36,857 --> 00:22:39,276
♪ dark music playing ♪
527
00:22:43,197 --> 00:22:45,115
Thanks to the holy bean,
528
00:22:45,115 --> 00:22:48,160
humanity will soon be elevated...
529
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:50,787
to its final subjugation.
530
00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:52,331
♪ dramatic sting ♪
531
00:22:52,331 --> 00:22:53,790
- Oh, okay.
- Sounds good.
532
00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:56,502
Freed from the shackles of sleep,
533
00:22:56,502 --> 00:22:59,338
they shall serve us nonstop!
All...
534
00:22:59,338 --> 00:23:01,048
How many hours are there on this planet?
535
00:23:01,048 --> 00:23:03,300
- Twenty-four.
- That's all?!
536
00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:06,762
Fine. Twenty-four hours a day,
537
00:23:06,762 --> 00:23:10,432
toiling in our fields, foaming our lattes,
538
00:23:10,432 --> 00:23:13,185
and never, ever sleeping,
539
00:23:13,185 --> 00:23:15,145
for all eternity!
540
00:23:15,145 --> 00:23:18,649
[all laugh maniacally]
541
00:23:20,609 --> 00:23:22,945
♪ ominous music playing ♪
542
00:23:22,945 --> 00:23:25,948
[laughter continues]
543
00:23:25,948 --> 00:23:28,951
♪ dramatic crescendo ♪
544
00:23:30,077 --> 00:23:32,079
♪ dramatic sting ♪
545
00:23:33,121 --> 00:23:36,124
♪
35814
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